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00:09BEING A DAB ISN'T JUST FEEDING AND CHANGING.
00:12BUT NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, IT'S NEVER GOING TO BE RIGHT FOR YOU.
00:15I AM SO MUCH BITING MY TONE.
00:17I DON'T CARE. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE.
00:19I HONESTLY FEEL LIKE YOU CHOOSE TO WORK BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO COME HOME.
00:23WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
00:24FIRE!
00:25IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE BEDTIME.
00:30ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?
00:31NO.
00:32ARE YOU FORGETTING THE LIES YOU TOLD ME?
00:34WHAT LIES?
00:35IT WOULD JUST BE NICE TO NOT HAVE TO CALL SOMEONE OUT ALL THE TIME.
00:39IT FEELS LIKE I'M TELLING OFF A TODDLER.
00:40I'VE BEEN LOST BEFORE.
00:42IT'S SO SCARY.
00:44IT'S OFFER.
00:45I HATE GOING TO SCANS BECAUSE OF THE ANXIETY.
00:49WHAT IS IT? IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG?
00:51I FEEL LIKE WITH POTTY TRAINING, HAND TO GOD, I HAVE NOT BEEN AS CONSISTENT AS I SHOULD BE.
00:56ARE YOU DOING MORE?
00:57DO YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE?
00:59TELL MUMMY WHEN YOU'RE ALL DONE, OKAY?
01:00YES.
01:02OH MY GOD, MUMMY'S LOCKED HIMSELF IN THERE.
01:05NO!
01:07OPEN THE DOOR!
01:08OH!
01:08LOOK, YELLS!
01:11OH!
01:15OH!
01:17OH!
01:17OH!
01:20OH!
01:21OH!
01:21IF YOU THINK I'M HERE CRYING OVER YOU
01:24IF YOU THINK I'M WAITING I'LL Kashia my 15
01:27suites with the world..
01:29if the world don't move forward around you
01:31that the world don't move forward around you
01:35Baby Kurt is almost two weeks old, and while I love him more every day,
01:39things have been really up and down between me and Tyler.
01:43And living with mum is making things even harder,
01:46cos she can't keep her nose out, which caused a huge row last night.
01:54I hate her. I generally do.
01:56I'm getting to the point I don't even want to be here.
01:58I'd rather live somewhere else.
02:01It's my relationship, not hers.
02:02She can't tell me who I can and can't work with.
02:05She can't tell me what to do.
02:07She's just going to step over there.
02:11Having a C-section has made her feel much harder on me,
02:14and mum doesn't think Tyler's been pulling his weight.
02:17She had a go at him last night, and he walked out on us.
02:21So then me and her fell out, and we haven't talked since.
02:25My last night was a full-blown argument.
02:27Why have you taken your blanket off?
02:29Obviously, she doesn't like what I say about Tyler.
02:31I know I keep saying, I've got to bite my tongue,
02:34I've got to bite my tongue.
02:35But then something will be said, and I just think, why bother?
02:39But I don't want to lose my daughter,
02:41and I don't want to lose my grandson.
02:43So I do need to sort of speak to her,
02:47and see if we can talk civil.
02:50Can we turn the light on? Yeah.
02:53About last night, do you think we should, like, have a chat about it?
02:57No.
03:01So where's Tyler now?
03:03Oh, cos he's not allowed to come here.
03:07You're angry with me, aren't you?
03:09Yeah, I don't like you at the minute.
03:13The thing is, I can't, like, say,
03:15oh, yeah, I really love the laddies, this, that and the other.
03:18He's never done nothing to you.
03:19I just don't feel like he's doing enough.
03:21That's what I'm saying. Just leave.
03:22I can't be bothered.
03:25What if I have a chat with Tyler?
03:27Cos you don't talk, you start shouting like you did last time.
03:28That's what I mean, I have to stop shouting.
03:30No, no.
03:31I'm not being funny.
03:31It's my relationship at the end of the day, not yours.
03:34But it's me and him who's got problems.
03:36No, it's you that's got the problems.
03:38You've got problems with everyone.
03:40I don't?
03:40Yeah, you do, just leave him, I can't bother with you.
03:43So what do you want me to do?
03:45Step away.
03:49What about helping with baby and that?
03:50He doesn't need any help, I can do it.
03:52I know, but he's still my grandson.
03:53I worship him.
03:54Yeah, but I don't need help with him.
03:57Can I still hold him in that?
03:58Have I ever said that?
04:00Have I ever said you can't hold him?
04:02No, you've not.
04:02Leave, no, leave, leave the room.
04:06No, you've never said that, I'm just asking.
04:08No, I've not, you just ask that.
04:09I'm just asking, that's all.
04:12Don't speak to me.
04:17I just want the best for Leona.
04:19I am a bit to blame, I am.
04:21I just, I don't know how I'm feeling.
04:25One minute I can get on with him dead good
04:28and I see things he's doing and I'm like, oh, brilliant.
04:31And then, I'll sit down, have a brew and whatnot and I think,
04:36there's a waste of space.
04:38So, I don't know how I feel about him right now.
04:43At this moment it's hard, I don't even want to speak to her.
04:45She keeps coming in, trying to make a conversation
04:48and I don't want to talk to her.
04:49There's nothing more to talk about.
04:51She said everything clear last night to me.
04:53I won't forget anything she's ever said.
04:56Just horrible things that I wouldn't dream of ever saying to someone.
05:00She didn't grow up more than anyone.
05:27She didn't grow up more than anyone.
05:30Today's been a long day.
05:32Khalil's been at nursery and I've been at college.
05:34And with mum being away, it's meant no lifts.
05:41The last thing I can face is toilet training,
05:44but I've been putting it off for months
05:45and the pressure's on at nursery to get him out of nappies.
05:48I got on a squat this first.
05:50But Khalil's having other ideas.
05:55Shall we put some big boy pants on?
05:56Can you sit on your bed for mummy?
05:59No, no, no.
06:00Khalil!
06:01Stop it.
06:02Come and lay down there now, please.
06:05Khalil!
06:09Khalil's being extra Khalil today.
06:11It's as if he's got a twin here with him
06:13and it's double the work that he normally is.
06:16You have got poo-poo in your bum bum.
06:18Lay down.
06:21No, Khalil!
06:22I don't know what it is today.
06:23Maybe it's something he's eaten.
06:24Maybe he should decide when he woke up.
06:26I'm going to stress mum today.
06:28Yeah.
06:31Yeah, your poo-poo smells.
06:35Khalil, stop!
06:40Okay, bye.
06:41Let me know when you want to be changed.
06:42I'm arguing with you.
06:44Bye.
06:46Khalil will not listen to me today,
06:48but I know one person he will listen to.
06:51I'm calling Nana.
06:52I'm calling Nana.
06:53Yeah, I'm calling her because I'm going to tell her you're being lost.
06:55I'm calling Nana!
06:56No, you're not calling Nana because you smell of poo.
06:58I'm calling Nana!
07:02No, we're not his friend at the moment, mum.
07:03He stinks of poo and he won't let me change him.
07:07Khalil!
07:07And he's climbing on the sofas.
07:09Whitney, get him off!
07:10He doesn't listen.
07:11He's doing everything!
07:13Come on, listen to mummy.
07:15Listen!
07:18Why?
07:19Why?
07:20Can you go and get wipes from mummy, Khalil?
07:22Yes.
07:22Now, please.
07:24My child doesn't respect me, mum.
07:26He doesn't respect my authority.
07:27I'm still going to check anyway.
07:33And you stay still!
07:36Hold that phone and talk to your Nana.
07:37I don't know.
07:39Yes, Grandpa.
07:40I don't know.
07:41I don't know, Nana.
07:43Khalil, you've got big boy pants on.
07:45Tell mummy if you need to use the toilet, okay?
07:47Toilet.
07:48Do you need to use the toilet now?
07:49No.
07:50Are you lying?
07:52Come on, come with mummy.
07:53Come on.
07:56No, no, no.
08:01Yes!
08:02You've done it.
08:03Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake.
08:05Good job.
08:06You've done it.
08:07I'm going to tell Nana you did it.
08:09No, I did it!
08:10Pull up, Dad, for me.
08:16He's gone to wash his hands.
08:18Yeah, baby, get it!
08:20It hasn't been easy, but Khalil used the toilet,
08:23so that's a win for me.
08:40Teddy, can you bring mummy some washing?
08:43Some big things.
08:45Yeah, perfect.
08:47My relationship with Matt has been really up and down recently.
08:50Thank you very much, you sausage bum.
08:53It's just me and the boys again, as Matt's at work.
08:56I swear I'm superwoman.
08:59Mummy's superwoman.
09:00But I know I really need to talk to him.
09:03I'm finished.
09:05I just want to know that he's happy,
09:07and I want to say that I'm not feeling the happiest at the moment
09:10with just how everything's been going.
09:11But this whole thing has spiralled from the way he was acting with me.
09:14I felt like he didn't love me, so I backed off.
09:17I think it is healthy to get things out in the open,
09:19but sometimes it causes more issues when you say things,
09:25so you just don't bother saying anything.
09:35My mum's looking after the boys today,
09:37so that Matt and I can have some time together.
09:39It's always day there, isn't it?
09:41Yeah.
09:42Finally, the sun.
09:43And I'm working up the courage to speak my mind.
09:49Quite nervous about today.
09:51I just feel like I haven't been with Matt for so long
09:55that it's weird.
09:58I feel really uptight.
10:01It's not a nice feeling,
10:02but also it would be nice to be with him as well, I think.
10:07It's very quiet about the kids.
10:11We have one chucking food there, one running away there.
10:14Yes, sir.
10:15I can't believe it's Teddy's birthday next week.
10:18I know we'll have a four-year-old.
10:20You're working.
10:22I feel like, like,
10:23we've lost our, like, connection a little bit.
10:25Like, cos you went through a really weird phase with me
10:28a few weeks ago
10:29and you were telling me that
10:30you don't want to be with a person like me.
10:33And then...
10:33And then I've obviously gone cold a little bit
10:36and now you're like,
10:37do you even love me?
10:38Nah.
10:38But that's how I felt with you.
10:40I just...
10:42I kept doing little things, like,
10:44I would say something.
10:45You'd just come in and bite my head off and be like, why?
10:48But we're not arguing.
10:48No, I'm just...
10:50I don't know, but I just think, like...
10:52OK, carry on.
10:53I'm sorry.
10:57I feel really awkward now.
10:59Why?
10:59Cos the way you've reacted.
11:03Is this not all the planned conversation or something?
11:06What do you mean, planned?
11:07This whole thing?
11:08Is this why we're here?
11:10No.
11:10No.
11:11Oh, I just feel like...
11:13ganged up on.
11:13You're not ganged up on.
11:16But I've obviously been feeling like how I've been feeling about it all.
11:19Kids, and when do we ever have a chance to have a conversation?
11:22100%.
11:22I agree with that.
11:23Cos you're always at work or you're with battling with the kids,
11:26so if we go out for a day out together,
11:29and I could just bring it up and say how I'm feeling,
11:31so we can squash it...
11:32Yeah.
11:33..or we can work around it.
11:34No, I get that.
11:53Hello!
11:53Hello!
11:54Happy birthday, guys!
12:00It's Jack's 23rd birthday,
12:02and I've planned a super special family day out for us at the aquarium.
12:06It's not your birthday.
12:12Elizabeth Pope were really excited about the balloons.
12:14I think Jack was as well.
12:16I'm just really excited to spend the day with them both.
12:20We're going to the aquarium!
12:23Aquarium!
12:23Aquarium!
12:29Wow!
12:32Oh, my goodness!
12:36Yeah, do you want to come look in here?
12:44What's up, sweet?
12:49Do you want to take a big belly breath and sit out?
12:51Because that's not how we talk to people.
12:55Do you need to calm down?
12:57No?
12:58Do you want to carry on playing?
13:00Elizabeth Hoek is well and truly in her teenage years.
13:03So what do we say?
13:05Right, come look in here.
13:07I think you'll like it.
13:09And...
13:10We're figuring it out.
13:12I won't lie.
13:13I'm a bit nervous about what the future holds juggling a toddler and a newborn.
13:20I feel like she's very much at that age where she's got a mind and wants of her own.
13:25When we've got the baby, she's all right at sharing but I don't think she will want her with the
13:30baby.
13:30She doesn't have to learn to be a big sister and it won't be easy for her.
13:35I think we all just need to be patient with her.
13:38She's not going to get things right straight away.
13:40Just as long as you tell her when she's not.
13:43But I think there will be times where she gets face up.
13:46It won't be easy but we'll get through it together.
13:49We can get through anything together.
13:50Yeah.
13:53There's going to be so many challenges for me, Jack and Elizabeth when baby boy comes and for baby boy.
14:01I just think as long as me and Jack keep that open dialogue, we'll be absolutely fine.
14:07But, you know, it's not going to be easy on sleepless nights.
14:12And we will get things wrong.
14:14It's inevitable.
14:15We get things wrong every single day.
14:17But it's about putting them right and just holding your hands up.
14:24Mummy! Mummy!
14:26Come on, baby!
14:28Ah!
14:49Can you stack the cups?
14:52One.
14:53Two.
14:54Three.
14:56Four.
14:58What? Uh-oh.
15:01This morning I went for a baby scan and the baby's facing in the wrong direction.
15:06Which means there's a high chance I'm going to need another C-section.
15:10And after the trauma of the emergency C-section last time, it's not the news I want to hear.
15:16I would love to have a really, really natural birth.
15:19I feel like at first me and Valentina really didn't have a bond.
15:22Maybe it was partially because of the C-section.
15:24I didn't get to see him be born. I didn't get to experience it.
15:26I didn't get to have skin to skin. I didn't get to do any of his firsts.
15:30I woke up. He was already dressed.
15:32He'd already had a bottle. He'd already had a bum change.
15:33He was already like in the cot doing his own thing.
15:36Like, he didn't need me.
15:39I don't want another C-section. I am literally traumatised from his C-section.
15:44So you can not do anything then, too?
15:46Well, there's like a way they can like flip the baby.
15:48Apparently it's like really painful. It's obviously like massive risks.
15:51Like, it always goes wrong.
15:53It's just like they end up getting tangled, they end up getting stuck.
15:56Her head's under my ribs at the moment.
15:58Yeah, I know. The woman was like, I can't believe you're not in loads of pain.
16:01So I don't know how you manage it.
16:03There were so many complications last time that I had to be put to sleep for his delivery.
16:09It was literally like from zero to 100.
16:12It was so normal to like so dramatic.
16:15Valentino didn't take a first breath for 15 minutes.
16:18I hemorrhaged after being woken up and had to go back into theatre.
16:24I can remember just like 20 people coming in, swarming around me.
16:27I couldn't even see you.
16:29And then the next thing I knew I was like in theatre.
16:33There was no time to even process what they'd just said to me.
16:37I remember I was crying and I was like shouted forever and I was told he couldn't come.
16:42By the time I came round, it just felt like I'd missed out on so much.
16:49We didn't even get to have skin to skin or nothing.
16:52I didn't even really feel like I'd actually like had him.
16:54It didn't feel real, did it?
16:56Yeah.
17:00She wants a normal pregnancy.
17:03She wanted that the first time that she felt pregnant with Tina.
17:07But she felt like she got it taken away, basically robbed off her.
17:11It didn't go exactly how she wanted it.
17:13So it'd be nice for her to experience the pregnancy in her own way and get a real feeling.
17:19I'm pretty still like 28 weeks. There's plenty of time for her to flip.
17:23Yeah.
17:24Plenty of time.
17:42I'm trying to talk to Matt about our relationship because I don't feel he wants to be with me anymore.
17:47But I'm not getting the answers I was hoping for.
17:51I'm really bloody awkward. I feel like I can't talk.
17:53Why?
17:53I just feel like you shut me down so much.
17:57We need to have, like, conversations like this to be able to make things work.
18:00Because I'm struggling. You don't know how you're feeling.
18:04It's just, at the moment, Ainge, no matter what we do, it is going to be hard because we've gone
18:09from having a child who was starting to be independent on his own, then getting our time back together.
18:15Yeah?
18:16To having a newborn baby again, going through the whole stages again.
18:21Our relationship has been put on the back burner and that's not... It's not good.
18:26What more do you want? Like, with parents?
18:30It's okay if you feel like this and it's not a problem, but, like...
18:33I know what you're saying, but some days I get fed up of being told, like, I'm always doing the
18:37wrong thing and...
18:38And I feel like that with you.
18:40I'm not doing this. I'm not sitting here and just feeling like everything I say, there's always something wrong, like...
18:45I want... You brought me out of here, right?
18:48Clearly just feels like to have this conversation, not to spend any time, because all we've done is to speak
18:52about this.
18:53I just want to come out and have a nice meal, chat with you, have a nice talk.
18:56And I wanted to just talk to you so we could clear the air, we could go home and be
18:58happy.
18:59I can't be arsed for it, Ainge. It's just all the time.
19:06And I just... And I just wanted to speak about how I was feeling.
19:10Yeah, but that's all we spoke about this whole time you've been here.
19:12But let's talk about... No, I don't want to talk. I want to go now.
19:14No, then. No, I won't.
19:20Why do you have to let everyone know in about everything, Ainge? I can't do this.
19:35I just feel like, like, every time I try to, like, speak, I just get shut down and, like, there's
19:41always a reason why we can't talk.
19:49I just want to go home.
20:10I just want to go home.
20:13I have got some pamper stuff.
20:17I'm going to have girls' night.
20:18What colour do you need one?
20:19I want pink.
20:21Pink?
20:22Please?
20:23When I was pregnant with Elizabeth Hope, it was always just me and my mum.
20:26So while Jack's away on a lad's due for his birthday, we're having a girly sleepover.
20:31We're at Grandma's house today and we've got our matching jimmy jammies on.
20:37Yeah.
20:40I've been struggling a lot with my endo, so it's a relief to have my mum looking after me again,
20:45like the old days.
20:46We can.
20:47Grandma gets here.
20:48We can.
20:48We can.
20:51We can.
20:51Girls' night!
20:53Woo!
20:56Nice.
20:56Do you think baby brother will like that?
20:58Yeah.
21:00Oh, that's lovely.
21:02That's a nice massage.
21:05How have you been pain-wise and pregnancy?
21:09I went out to the aquarium the other day with Jack and literally the next day I couldn't move.
21:15Really?
21:15I was in so much pain.
21:19It sucks.
21:20And Jack's supportive.
21:22I couldn't have asked for anything else from him.
21:24Yeah.
21:25When I've been in pain and he sees me like all tense in the head, he's like,
21:30babe, relax.
21:32And I'm like, you're going to be such a good birthing partner.
21:36Like, aw.
21:37Obviously when I go into labour I still want you there, but more for the role of watching her,
21:42because I want her as involved as possible.
21:44I'm really excited to get the phone call to come down and do what, you know,
21:50just to get all zen and relaxed and make sure that you're okay.
21:57That's Jack's job.
21:58Your job is to watch her.
22:02And if I need my mummy, I'll let you know.
22:06But it's important to me and Jack that it's our moment.
22:12You're mainly there to be our support system with her.
22:16And, you know, if I need you, you're there.
22:19Yeah.
22:20But I think Jack's got there.
22:27I know if I had just asked her to be there, she'd have been, like, elbows deep in my floof,
22:32like she was last time.
22:34And I definitely want Jack to feel like he's my birthing partner and he's there to support me.
22:41As much as, like, it's nice to see you settled and doing it all yourself,
22:46it's hard for me.
22:48You know, I want to be a part of it all, which I'm going to be a part of it,
22:51just in a different way.
22:52Wow.
22:52It is going to be in a different way because we don't want to take that away from Jack
22:55because it's his baby.
22:57And if, say, he's struggling to do counter pressure, don't just take over,
23:02show him how to do it, you know what I mean?
23:03Yeah, yeah.
23:07With Chloe's pregnancy, it's obviously been very different this time.
23:11With Elizabeth Hope, I was there every single step of the way, holding her hand.
23:15I caught her as she come out of Chloe.
23:18It was a special moment, you know, and I just hope all that happens again.
23:22It is a fear that I'm not going to have as much of a bond with a baby boy,
23:29but I'm sure everything will work out.
23:33Oh, that's in legs.
23:35You're not so small anymore, you're a big girl.
23:39We'll always be our baby.
23:41I really miss you.
23:52Oh, look, it's exciting.
24:01Get excited.
24:02It looks straight in and it's a cop, Mum.
24:05Oh, stop moaning.
24:08It looks like hospital beds all lined up, didn't it?
24:11Well, yeah, what did you expect it was going to be like when you wanted a bed like that?
24:15Mum and Aaron have been setting up the new cot
24:17and the reality of being a mum to two kids is really sinking in.
24:22I know Amelia is properly stressing out at the moment,
24:25but, you know, she's very highly strung anyway,
24:27so we all just go, ooh, back off,
24:31and then, yeah, we just let her crack on with it.
24:33I hate it, I really don't like it. Why?
24:35It doesn't look too bad.
24:37You're not in there half your life.
24:38Half my life is in that room, and it's horrible.
24:42It doesn't look too bad.
24:44I think the news that I might need a C-section
24:47is also making me worry about how I'm going to cope
24:50when the baby comes, and Aaron's not pulling his weight.
24:55When he wants to play and wants to do things,
24:57he's amazing with Valentino, but he's not a good partner
25:01in the fact that if I was to ask him,
25:03can you do this with Valentino so I can get five minutes to myself,
25:06he sees it as, like, he's doing a favour for me.
25:10Like, if I get to do the washing up without, you know,
25:13clinging onto my legs and things like that,
25:15that's a favour to me.
25:20It's Aaron's day off today, so we're taking Tina out to soft play,
25:24our favourite spot for family time.
25:26It feels like time and money are tight as it is,
25:29so I need Aaron to step up and think more realistically
25:32about the future.
25:34How to expect was this scenario?
25:38I count on the fact that it can count on you
25:42I really wanna believe you this time.
25:46What's gonna happen when the new baby comes,
25:49when she's, like, three weeks old,
25:50and I can't take them both swimming when she's only three weeks?
25:55So what's gonna happen then?
25:57Yeah, I get where you're coming from.
25:58I haven't really got anyone else to help.
26:01Obviously there's you and mum, but you both work.
26:03And that's it, that's all I've got.
26:05So when it comes to...
26:06Yeah, but once I sit boy, I'm gonna try and get...
26:09That's what I'm saving up on more holidays.
26:11It would just be nice if, like, when it comes to your one day off,
26:15we could 100% do something,
26:17because when it comes to that one day off,
26:19if I say let's go swimming,
26:20you're like, it's my one day off of the week, I wanna chill.
26:24And I'm dreaming all the time...
26:27He's never gonna change, that's just the way Aaron is.
26:30He does what Aaron wants,
26:31and he does his own thing, that's the way it is.
26:34So I've had to learn, I've just got to accept it,
26:37if I want any time to myself ever.
26:39The only thing I'm judging with your hours,
26:42and I am actually judging this, is bedtimes.
26:44I'm gonna be alone at bedtime.
26:46How am I gonna put two babies to sleep at the same...
26:48Cos they're gonna be around the same age,
26:49they're gonna be going to bed at the same time.
26:51He still needs cuddling to sleep,
26:53she'll need cuddling to sleep.
26:56How am I doing it?
26:57Either do a week off kind of thing,
27:01or just can't work late evenings anymore,
27:04till, like, eight, nine, stable o'clock time.
27:06Then that means having no days off,
27:08cos your hours would get cut in half doing that.
27:11But you've got...
27:12I mean, you know what I mean?
27:13I can't do anything than that.
27:14Or it's maybe looking into getting a different type of job.
27:17Stop cheffing.
27:19Why doesn't daddy do something else?
27:23Do you know?
27:25At least he sees now that there is a problem,
27:28but we're still not really any closer to finding a solution.
27:32I think something's gonna change.
27:49Wow! Look, look!
27:52Wow! New pants!
27:55He's got pants too!
27:57Do you like them? Look, Teddy's got pants too!
27:59Yeah!
28:00I hope you've got pants!
28:02Yeah!
28:02Yeah, Muffy's wearing pants!
28:04Khalil's wearing pants!
28:05I'm on a mission to get Khalil toilet trained.
28:08Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake!
28:10But it's one step forward and two steps back at the moment.
28:14Look, look.
28:20Oh dear!
28:21Did you say, oh dear?
28:22Yeah.
28:23What happened?
28:24No, no, no.
28:24Stand there.
28:25Wait!
28:26Do not touch me.
28:26I love you, but do not touch me.
28:28Have you had an accident?
28:31Poo poo!
28:32No, it's too late to you.
28:33Let me clean your bum bum, please.
28:35Look, you've already done the poo poo!
28:37I've done it!
28:40Wait!
28:41Wait!
28:43You need to tell Mummy when you need to do poo poo, okay?
28:50Today was one of the more frustrating days of toilet training.
28:53Whether Khalil has accidents or not, and I feel like giving up on some days,
28:56I'm obviously going to still persevere.
28:58He's shown so many times that he's ready to use the toilet,
29:00and it's just a case of us continuing, continuing until he's finally got the hang of it.
29:05So, yeah, we're going to persevere no matter what.
29:11Between juggling motherhood and college, I don't get much time for myself.
29:15But I've had an idea, and I'm hoping I can change that.
29:19So, I've had this idea to do this whole Mums Club thing for a while,
29:22and today I finally get to meet with the girls kid-free,
29:25so we can talk without any interruption.
29:27Hey!
29:29Hey!
29:30How are you babe?
29:30I'm okay.
29:31Hey girls!
29:33Hi!
29:33What time do you call this mate?
29:35What time do you call this mate?
29:37What time do you call this mate?
29:42This is so nice, there's no screaming children.
29:46There's no mum, mum, mum.
29:48Oh yeah, I look forward to that.
29:49They'll tug at you like this, mum, mum.
29:51That's why I'm excited for the newborn to just go out and have her in the pram next to me.
29:55I miss the newborn stage, you put them on the bed, they don't move.
29:58They don't do nothing.
29:59I was thinking, we're going to start a Mums Club.
30:03That sounds like a great idea.
30:05Just maybe an hour every week or every two weeks without our kids
30:08where we can do something, bond as mums.
30:11Because as much as we see each other, we see each other with our kids.
30:14We never actually get to do this very often.
30:16Even if they're just coming to a cafe, talk about our week
30:18and then go back to our feral kids.
30:20Yeah.
30:20Yeah, I'm up for it.
30:26I just want this to be a really fun thing for mums.
30:28Even if it just means an hour every fortnight or every week
30:32when we're all three with no kids, we just go and do something fun for us.
30:36Cheers!
30:37Cheers to Mum Club!
30:38Cheers to Mum Club!
30:39Cheers!
30:57At first it was just me, you and Grandma.
31:00And then Mummy met Jack.
31:02And now it's going to be me, you, Jack Jack and baby brother.
31:06I don't need much to let go.
31:08Yeah!
31:09It's been a great sleepover.
31:11Reliving the old days when I was pregnant with Elizabeth Hope
31:14and still living at mums.
31:17It's been really nice and I think Elizabeth Hope's really enjoyed
31:20having all three of us together.
31:22Because even though I don't think she remembers the time
31:24that we lived here now, I think it's very much
31:28in her subconscious memories in who she is today,
31:31especially with who she is today with my mum.
31:33So many places I could go.
31:36But as nice as it's been, Jack's still away on his lads weekend,
31:39so I'm really looking forward to getting home
31:42and having some chill time with Elizabeth Hope.
31:44I don't need much to make her home.
31:48Can you cut that up my...my hand?
31:52Hey, do you want to stay at Grandma's tonight?
31:57Yeah!
31:58Me and you?
31:59Er, maybe.
32:02She's so excited to die!
32:05Shall I keep her tonight?
32:07You're going to have to now, you've told me you will.
32:12I can't say no if she wants to.
32:15So do you want to stay here tonight with me?
32:17And we'll have some fun, me and you?
32:20Yeah.
32:21Yeah.
32:22OK.
32:23Deal.
32:23Am I being kicked out now?
32:25Er, well, you can stay, but I'd prefer it if you weren't here,
32:28because she goes to you for everything.
32:31It's lovely having you here, don't get me wrong,
32:33but, like, I want to look after her.
32:35And she doesn't come to me for anything when you're here.
32:37Yeah, because she needs to look after me!
32:42Mum wants Elizabeth Hope again tonight
32:44to have a bit of one-on-one time with her.
32:48Erm...
32:48And, obviously, she asked Elizabeth Hope first,
32:50so...
32:50Because she asked Elizabeth Hope first
32:52and Elizabeth Hope said yes,
32:53that's what the love I've learned.
32:54I love that she wants to spend time with her.
32:56But it's my baby!
32:59I'm not good at sharing.
33:04So what's your plan, then?
33:07I feel like I'm being kicked out.
33:09No, you're not being kicked out.
33:11You stay as long as you want.
33:12But tonight, I'm having her.
33:15And then I'll just drop her off tomorrow.
33:17All round and round we go...
33:20I just think I definitely used to be the favourite child
33:23and, erm, as soon as I birthed my own,
33:26I got demoted from that spot very fast.
33:28Erm, Mum wants Elizabeth Hope by herself tonight.
33:31And, obviously, like, if...
33:37Erm...
33:37Because I have a lot of anxiety about being alone.
33:41Because...
33:42What if I'm in pain and I collapse and stuff like that,
33:44so...
33:45I don't know.
33:47When I'm lost...
33:48Lost in the shadows...
33:50Well, Mum...
33:51Come on!
33:52Come on!
33:53I got to beat through.
33:54Well, well...
33:54We're not!
33:55Well, look at this!
33:58Oh, well...
33:59Well, well...
34:00Well, well, well, well...
34:01Well, well, well, well...
34:02Well, well, well...
34:02Oh, well, well...
34:13I
34:21Look at this
34:25Me mum and Tyler still aren't talking since he stormed out yesterday. I
34:30Thought it would just blow over as we planned to give Carter his first bath tonight
34:35But Tyler's just texted saying to go ahead with writing
34:39Obviously, I didn't think Tyler was gonna call and help me
34:42He said doesn't want to now. I'm really sad. He's missing out on such big moment
34:47But even though I'm still not happy with how she spoke to Tyler at least I know I can always
34:51rely on my mum to be there for us
34:53I feel like putting her in water, but she will only she'll always do something. No matter what
34:59Are you smiling? You little monkey grandma can't drive it
35:04We're a bit stuck
35:06What are you doing?
35:07I'm showing him right house, but I can't drive it honestly
35:12I message Tyler obviously saying like I'm going to bathroom and that if you want to come
35:16Oh yeah
35:17And you say you don't want to see me or be there
35:20All right, okay
35:23I don't mean to help you bathroom
35:26He wants mummy and grandma to be friends
35:30I know I said something that are wrong things and I will try and make it right
35:35It's not that easy just to give everything though
35:40Obviously like me and the only still got a bit of making up to do and things like that
35:44Oh look at him
35:46I don't want to wear a kid mom no more
35:49But she knows, I know she knows
35:52That it doesn't matter how many times we fall out
35:55She can show it to mum and I will come running
35:59What am I doing?
36:00That's good
36:01That's me
36:06Oh
36:11It's okay
36:13I was absolutely made up, she asked me to help
36:15She seemed really organised and everything
36:18It gives me what panicking more
36:20But yeah, I loved it, loved it
36:22You like that?
36:24Whee
36:27Whee
36:27Whee
36:27Whee
36:28Oh he's good isn't he?
36:29Oh
36:33Right is he all right now?
36:34Yeah, it's a little washed and he's a little bit fresher innit
36:41How do you feel like Talyn's not been here for it?
36:44It hurts but there's nothing about forcing to be here for it
36:48Did you say it's because obviously like we fell out, me and him or
36:51Is that what it's about because of me and him?
36:53He doesn't feel like he can come into the house and see him
36:55If you want, if you want to come round I can nip out for an hour
37:00It's your house
37:01I know but I know mine, I can nip out can I?
37:04We could explain to him like I know I'm out of order and
37:08That's still not going to work though is it?
37:10But I'm trying to make things right
37:14From the big mess I've made
37:16It's not going to be right now
37:18What is he you actually want though now? Do you know?
37:21Most importantly I want to be there for the castle
37:24Yeah but what about like you and Talyn together?
37:27We're the last thing I'm thinking about at the minute
37:29Are we close tonight? Or do we drift away?
37:34The fact that Talyn's not coming I don't know
37:36It's made me just feel a bit useless in her kind of way
37:39Because I did think he'd still show up for him and stuff like that
37:43It's a bit of a let down really
37:47I don't know what the situation is with me and Talyn at the minute
37:50He's meant to live here but then no he's not living here
37:53You stop it with me
37:54I need to know what's happening obviously
37:57It's harder for me to learn when I shouldn't be doing it alone
37:59Like fire, fire tonight
38:04Light dripping down my back
38:07My ears are turning blue and black
38:10Spreading rumours made up stories
38:13Is this one makes you happy?
38:15Teddy! That's dangerous!
38:18I'm done
38:19No that's really, really dangerous
38:21After I finally told Matt how I was feeling the other day
38:25Things are worse than ever
38:27He's even told me to leave him if I'm not happy
38:30Luckily he works so much that I barely see him
38:34When Matt says that if I'm not happy I should just leave
38:37It makes me feel quite sad because I feel like the pressure's on me
38:40Like he's the one that was not happy
38:43Then he's made me unhappy because he was unhappy
38:46And I just feel like we're just going around in circles
38:49And it just makes me feel so sad that he'd rather me just give up
38:53We're going to go to Nanny's house and we're going to go get some dinner
38:56I don't know what's on the cards for mine and Matt's relationship
38:59But I just think that's something that will come in time and after we'll figure out between us
39:04We're going to my mum's to stay over tonight
39:07I feel like I need to be around someone that actually wants to spend some time with me
39:12Hello!
39:12Hello!
39:18Hi Ainge
39:19How are you then? I see you really
39:21I'm alright
39:22What happened after you met up with Matt?
39:25He walked out on me
39:26But he just didn't want that conversation
39:28How has it been since then?
39:31He was like you're clearly not happy are you?
39:33And I was like no I'm not happy
39:35He was like you don't want to be with me anymore
39:38You really don't want to be with me because the way you've been you've never acted like this before
39:42That's when you should turn around and say you've made me feel like that
39:46You've made me feel like this
39:47All I want in life is somebody to appreciate me for me
39:51You did some damage
39:55That should be horrible
39:56That should be natural
39:58You should be saying that anyway
40:00Am I asking for too much?
40:03I just get the feeling he's not happy and he doesn't want what he's got
40:11I think it was absolutely disgusting the way Matt walked out on Angel when she was trying to have a
40:16conversation with him
40:18She's not appreciated for what she does for the boys
40:21And there's only a certain amount of time that she could put up with it
40:24She deserves to feel loved and wanted
40:27And have a better life really
40:30I think we're stuck in a rut
40:32Yeah
40:33I don't think either of us wants to leave or admit
40:35No, because it's scary
40:36The next step is scary
40:37It's not that
40:38It's like
40:39And it's not like I want to
40:40I wanted it to change
40:42And I was staying
40:43I just don't want to say anything
40:44Because I'm hoping it all goes back to normal
40:46I know love for that
40:48Didn't even cry
40:49Because that's how I did it for years
40:53If I stay like I feel like I'm wasting so much of myself
40:59But if I go I feel like I'm not giving the boys the life they deserve
41:04Yeah
41:08But listen, Angel
41:09I just feel like they need a family life like
41:11Yeah, but Angel
41:12A happy family life
41:14They don't need that
41:15The feeling
41:15The energy in the room
41:17Yeah
41:25I feel alone and I'm in a relationship
41:28Well, there you go
41:29That's your answer there, isn't it?
41:45Good boy
41:46I love you
41:48I love you too
41:50I'm going so much fun
41:51I love you all
41:53I love you all
41:55I love you all
41:57I love you
41:58You're a strong girl
41:59I love yous
42:00I do
42:05I just said give me two minutes
42:06It's alright
42:07It's alright, I was just
42:07I was just trying to get in the bag out for you
42:09You're swearing under your breath at me
42:11My head's telling me to go and just do it on my own because
42:15What do you have here?
42:17I do have a little surprise that I've been meaning to tell you
42:20I have booked us a holiday
42:21You're not getting holiday from me while I'm a student
42:24We need to be better people
42:26But it's not just me, it's you as well
42:28It's the both of us
42:29Right, so what do I need to start it? You tell me that
42:31Your attitude
42:32I don't want anyone touching any decorations until I am done
42:36Because if anything gets broken or ruined, I'm not going to be happy
42:39There's definitely tension up in the air
42:41Everything is ruined
42:44So I'm going to be doing it on Saturday
42:46Wow
42:46I'm going to be proposing
42:49Oh my god, I can't believe it
42:51I'm so excited for you both
42:53If you've been affected by any of the issues mentioned in this program
42:59Please head to our helpline page
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