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00:12My words are lazy, my thoughts are hazy, but this is one thing I'm sure of, everybody needs a best
00:22friend, I'm happy I'm yours.
00:35Oh, I can't believe my boys are high school graduates now!
00:41Yep, and all without opening a single book or applying ourselves in any way.
00:45Gun to my head I couldn't find Europe on a map. Is it the one shaped like a hand?
00:49I got through two years of French just knowing five words. Baguette. Déjà vu. Gerard. Depardieu.
00:57Boys, the world is your oyster now.
01:00No, it ain't. From here on out, there's no more gravy train, alright? You're an adult now, Johnny. That means
01:06responsibility.
01:07Don't you worry, Dad. You have my word. I am gonna take adulthood and grab it by the ass.
01:12Speaking of, I gotta take a dump. That was a long fucking ceremony.
01:16Jesus, we don't all need to hear about it.
01:18Have a good stool, Maddie. And Johnny, did you do your doo-doos yet today?
01:23Oh, Ma. I'm 18 now. Miner stool's two.
01:28Oh, good heavens, you're right. You're right. Oh, how time flies.
01:39You said, someone's toking some reefer.
01:43No, I may have said something about smelling some pot.
01:45You know, it's just an observation.
01:47Oh, an observation, huh? Well, who the hell are you, man? Isaac fucking Newton?
01:50It's kinda hard for me to buy that this guy has Isaac Newton on the tip of his tongue.
01:55Yeah, and he really seemed to have it locked and loaded. Like, I hope a situation arises today where I
01:59can mention my favorite scientist.
02:01Oh, look, they're gonna fight.
02:05Why do guys always take their shirts off when they're about to fight?
02:08Because guys will always look at nipples.
02:10Really?
02:10Oh, yeah. If they're out, a guy's looking. And while he's lost in your nipples, you punch him in the
02:14face.
02:15Wow.
02:15Yeah, ask Evander Holyfield.
02:17Hey, buddy, my fists are up here.
02:19Exactly. If JFK had been in the car shirtless, he'd be alive today.
02:23Boys, dinner's ready.
02:25To be continued.
02:27By the way, there's a surprise in the salad.
02:30Sun-dried tomatoes.
02:32I got turned around at the staffing shop and I ended up in the ethnic aisle.
02:36Sun-dried is just a fancy word for old. It's a WAP scam.
02:41Italian scam.
02:42Wait, no.
02:43Save them and give them out to the kids with the mustaches on Halloween.
02:46Jesus Christ, you are such a fucking bigot.
02:49It's like I'm living with Mark Furman.
02:50Oh, Christ, not this again.
02:52What, because you still can't admit he is a crooked, lying sack?
02:55OJ did it, all right? If the cops planted evidence, it was just to make up for OJ unplanting it.
03:01That doesn't make any sense.
03:03John, how did your interview go today?
03:05What?
03:06At my buddy Tommy's tire shop.
03:08Hey, it wasn't easy getting you in there.
03:10Luckily, there was an opening because Bob Donahue got crushed under a truck.
03:13Right, the interview. Um, it went great. I looked him right in the eye and I gave him a firm
03:19handshake and everything.
03:22Tommy doesn't have a hand.
03:24Oh.
03:25Lost it in a tire balancer last year.
03:27This sounds like a uniquely dangerous workplace.
03:30I shook his nub.
03:31He doesn't have a nub. It goes all the way up to the shoulder.
03:34I shook his shoulder.
03:36He's a head on a torso!
03:37How is this guy a mechanic?
03:39Okay, Dad.
03:40You didn't fucking go, did you?
03:41No, but-
03:42God damn it! I can't fucking believe it!
03:44If he takes his shirt off, don't get distracted by his nipples.
03:47See, the thing is-
03:47No! I'm sick of your fucking excuses.
03:50You didn't get into college, you ain't got a job, you ain't done nothing but sit on your ass since
03:54June!
03:55Matty, he's a late bloomer.
03:57He's a boy, Susan. Don't talk about him blooming.
03:59But it's wonderful when a boy blooms.
04:02I said stop it!
04:03You know what? The two of you are kicked out of this fucking house!
04:07Matty!
04:07No more free rides!
04:08Matty, no!
04:09No, it's for his own good, Susan. My kid ain't gonna fucking wind up like a fucking welfare queen!
04:14And more racism.
04:16How the fuck is that racist?
04:17You just said welfare queen.
04:19So?
04:19So, that is a racist black stereotype!
04:21I never said she was black!
04:23Oh, so it's automatically a woman.
04:25Well, a man's not popping out babies just to get rich!
04:27And don't change the fucking subject!
04:29I am tired of coming home every day to a house full of freeloaders who...
04:34Oh, fuck!
04:36Matty?
04:37Dad, are you okay?
04:38Ah, it's fucking indigestion.
04:40Ah, feels like Dom DeLuise is sitting on my chest.
04:44Honey, you want some Ailanta?
04:45Oh, shit!
04:49Ah!
04:51Ah!
04:56Ah!
04:57Is he gonna be okay?
04:59He's stable.
05:00But there are blockages in his arteries, so another cardiac event is likely.
05:04Whoa, whoa, whoa!
05:05Slow down, Doc!
05:06Explain it to me in sewage terms.
05:08Is it just a clogged sink, or is the main line blocked and the shit coming up through the shower
05:12drain?
05:12I guess it's closer to the second one.
05:16I'll need your consent to insert a stent into each blocked artery.
05:20Well, who's gonna do it?
05:22I'll be performing the procedure.
05:24Oh, yeah?
05:26What about this guy?
05:28He's a nurse.
05:29A guy?
05:30Yes.
05:31What the fuck's going on?
05:33Did you give me the drugs already?
05:34Will he stop being a fucking asshole and let him save your life?
05:38Alright, fine.
05:44I'm so sorry.
05:46I'm a doctor in Massachusetts.
05:47If I didn't save racist lives, I would do nothing.
05:52Susan, I'm scared.
05:54Everything's gonna be alright, honey.
05:57I love you so much.
05:58I love you, too.
06:02And son?
06:03Yeah, Dad?
06:04I don't say this enough, but...
06:09You really need a fucking haircut.
06:13I know, Dad.
06:15Hey, Johnny, look.
06:16I'm the kid in the wheelchair at the school dance.
06:18Who's also having a good time?
06:38Did...
06:38Did you just put a breast cancer self-exam pamphlet in your pocket?
06:42It's for when I get home.
06:43I'm just curious.
06:45In the fantasy, does she find a lump?
06:47Yeah.
06:48In my pants.
06:50Not your best work, but you're under a lot of stress.
06:55There's not even a photo on there.
06:56You're just gonna jerk off to a line drawing?
07:00Doctor, how is he?
07:02Is he gonna be okay?
07:03Also, the vending machine ate one of my quarters.
07:05Is there a form I can fill out, or...?
07:07The procedure went very smoothly, Mrs. Bennett.
07:09Oh, thank God.
07:10I'm so relieved.
07:11So, Matty's gonna be okay?
07:13Well, he's not out of the woods yet.
07:15His condition is very delicate, especially for the next few weeks.
07:18What does that mean?
07:19He needs to remain calm.
07:21If he gets overly agitated or angry, it could trigger another heart attack.
07:25Possibly be fatal.
07:27We'll say our goodbyes now.
07:37I think the best part of the grind is all the grinding.
07:40We're blessed to live in a time when dancing is just girls rubbing their butts against the dick area of
07:45guys' jeans.
07:46The patient is resting comfortably.
07:49He's not pissed about having to eat egg whites from now on?
07:51No, I disguise them with yellow food coloring.
07:53And tonight, I'm gonna use red dye to make the ground turkey look like ground beef.
07:59This must be what it feels like to be a spy.
08:04Oh, Johnny, please change the channel.
08:06I don't want your father to hear this.
08:08He calls it burglary music.
08:11Delightful.
08:13Alright, Mr. Simpson, would you please stand and face the jury?
08:16Oh, my God. I think they're about to announce the verdict.
08:18We, the jury, in the above entitled action, find the defendant, Orenthal James Simpson, not guilty of the crime of
08:24murder...
08:25Holy shit, he got away with it.
08:27Well, that was a year and a half of our lives.
08:30Oh, this is very, very bad.
08:33Well, at least it might finally teach the LAPD a lesson.
08:36Maddie's always talking about how guilty OJ is.
08:39If he finds out about this, he'll get so angry, it could kill him.
08:43Making him OJ's third victim.
08:53I'm mad he'll be up soon. How do we tell him about OJ?
08:56Oh, let's tell him Johnny's gay.
08:58When he finds out it's not true, he'll be so relieved he won't even care about OJ.
09:02That's a stupid plan.
09:03Well, it's worth a try.
09:04And we're gonna need rollerblades, bicycle shorts, and some ice cream to get angry at.
09:08What does that mean?
09:09Well, cause the ice cream wants you to eat it.
09:11But you gotta keep your body lean for shenanigans.
09:14What if we don't tell him?
09:16What?
09:17He's stuck in bed. He'll never know.
09:19Yes, he will. There's a TV up there.
09:21It's his enid.
09:22We can cut the wires and tell him the cable's out.
09:24What, forever?
09:25No, not forever. Just till he's better and he can handle the news.
09:28That could work.
09:29Are you serious?
09:30Claire, you heard the doctor. If he gets pissed off, it'll kill him.
09:34Oh, I can't lose my Maddie. What would I do without him? Thrive?
09:38I feel like this is all my fault.
09:41Dad would have never had that heart attack if he hadn't been so upset about me being lazy.
09:46Blair, we gotta do this.
09:50Fine.
09:51It's not all your fault, Johnny.
09:52I've seen him put a scoop of Crisco on an ice cream cone.
09:55He does love his Criscos.
10:20Oh, damn it.
10:25Susan!
10:27Maddie, what's the matter?
10:29There's something wrong with the TV. I can't get shit.
10:31Oh, yeah. The cable company called. They said it's gonna be out for at least a week.
10:35Why don't you read a book?
10:36What am I, a woman?
10:38Uh...
10:39Guys are nurses. Men reading books. Janet Reno.
10:42What the fuck is going on with the world?
10:44Maddie, don't get upset, remember? The doctor said to keep calm.
10:48I wanna watch the news. The O.J. verdict's gotta be out by now.
10:52You know what? I'll call Trammels.
10:54Maybe somebody's heard something.
10:56He's guilty.
10:57What?
10:58Yeah, Dad. O.J. was found guilty, just like you were hoping.
11:01So there's no reason to be upset.
11:02Why the hell didn't you guys tell me?
11:04I was gonna tell you after you filled your bedpan as a reward.
11:10Oh!
11:13Oh, man!
11:15Oh, I wish I could have seen the look on O.J.'s face when they read that verdict.
11:20See, Blair? Even your black jury agrees with me about the cops.
11:24You gotta feel pretty fucking stupid right now.
11:27Oh, I... feel stupid.
11:30Man, can't wait to read about this in tomorrow's paper.
11:33What?
11:34Yeah, bring it to me first thing in the morning.
11:36You know what, they might not even cover it.
11:38Of course they're gonna cover it!
11:39It's the biggest news story of the year!
11:41Right, there's no getting around that.
11:43In the meantime, I can just listen to the news on the radio.
11:46Ah, ah, ah, ah!
11:48Oops.
11:50Aw, Butterfingers!
11:52it's like he's got butter on all over your fingers with what just happened right go wash
12:02your fingers huh go wash your fingers well we're already back in fucking school that didn't take
12:13long i can't believe how easy it was to break into this place yeah probably be easy to come in
12:18set a
12:19bunch of explosives kill everybody jesus fucking christ teddy what i'm saying it's a flaw i'm
12:24pointing it out i'm helping seriously what the fuck is come on johnny you know i'm a good guy
12:28you've seen my manifesto oh sweet they got everything we need we sure we can pull this
12:39off oh totally how hard could it be to make a fake newspaper i mean it's just a big headline
12:44that says
12:44oj guilty and then a bunch of bullshit about how justice was served johnny there's more to a paper
12:49than one article real papers have sports sections and restaurant reviews and comics and jumble
12:54that scrambled word game that's no fun and way harder than you think it'll be
12:58shit you're right we got a lot of work to do exactly now we got a long night ahead of
13:02us
13:02i want 500 words on the big dig and where's the girl with my egg salad sandwich right away queef
13:10all right let's keep my dad from dying
13:19hey dad how you doing bored as shit well get ready to cheer up because here's today's paper
13:27a little thinner than usual oh uh well the newspaper people were probably so focused on the main part
13:34that they ran out of time for the other stuff or maybe someone was goofing off accidentally unplugged
13:39the computer and they lost hours of work well maybe that person needed to blow off some steam
13:43because his editor was riding him so hard maybe the editor resents having to hire the owner's nephew
13:47well maybe that writer hasn't seen his kid in fucking weeks because the editor's such a goddamn slave
13:52driver maybe the city's full of promising young journalists who'd be happy to take his fucking
13:56seat in a second maybe suck a dick or two along the way oh look at this huh simpson was
14:03found
14:03guilty of murdering a blonde lady and another guy because he totally did it and anyone that
14:08thinks different is an idiot just like i've been saying yeah almost word for word see what else is
14:14happening huh socks win makes yankees fans cry un declares america did win vietnam finally a good
14:25news day and look at this jane fonder admits i'm a piece of shit if you're looking for a chuckle
14:31maybe
14:31check out the comic strip the galumphs what's this uh it's new but i've been hearing good things
14:41apparently it's about a family called the galumphs who get into all sorts of mischief but love each
14:47other at the end of the day it's not drawn too good yeah it's not supposed to be slick that's
14:51part of
14:51his charm he brought he brought a beach chair to the dmv he knows he's gonna be there all day
14:59classic galumphs all right we'll leave you to it enjoy that article about clinton's hemorrhoids
15:04hey don't forget to bring me tomorrow's newspaper too tomorrow yeah i'm sure they'll have all the
15:10sections by then i want to know what these galumphs get up to next yeah me too
15:21all right here's the headline for tomorrow's paper 40 minutes on toilet equal to running two
15:28miles oh this is terrific blair how's the business section coming i just finished a piece on gender
15:33based pay discrepancy are you fucking crazy i can't print this it's all true women make 72 cents on the
15:39dollar i don't give a shit about the truth we're trying to keep maddie alive so we're just gonna
15:44create a bubble around him where all he ever hears is news that reinforces his warped world view
15:49pretty much give me something i can use like scientists prove women worse drivers or tipping
15:55with change is more than enough why can't one of you guys do it now i'm working on a huge
16:00story
16:00there's no reason to turn the heat on and i still got to figure out tomorrow's galumphs okay how about
16:06this gary galumph tells his wife to get all gussied up for a fancy dinner and then he takes
16:10her to the grocery store to fill up on free samples i'm smiling but i'm not laughing yet okay uh
16:16is this
16:17anything gary galumph is on the treadmill and then we cut wider to reveal that he's on roller skates
16:21yeah they did something similar in yesterday's wizard of id all right uh gladys galumph becomes a health
16:28inspector for the city and she finds a cockroach in the kitchen at one of the restaurants and before
16:32she can shut the place down the cockroach says excuse me ma'am i'm the owner yes yes yes draw
16:38draw
16:48well someone's feeling better look at this look at this hillary clinton spotted at urinal
16:54i fucking knew it hey dad did you see today's galumphs oh the best one so far i'll tell you
17:00anytime a dog wears sunglasses you got my attention i don't think i've ever seen you smile but not quite
17:07laugh so much well the world finally makes sense susan oj got what he deserved the socks are on a
17:13winning streak you know the only only problem is the damn cable's still out fuck it i'm gonna call
17:19him see what's taking him so long oh wait uh no actually you don't have to do that because
17:25they're coming by tomorrow finally
17:30sean if we fix the cable he's gonna find out about oj well what if we make our own news
17:35huh we got all that video equipment at school we just need to find an actor
17:40sadly we know one
17:44come in
17:48what do you two want here's something you probably never heard before we'd like to hire you again
17:57well look i'd love to help you out but i have a strict rule against sequels
18:00uh do you yeah i do i hate seeing actors like harrison ford bocino guys not without talent
18:06throwing it all away for a quick buck this is not a level this is something much simpler
18:10it's not like that it's uh it's a new role it's a newscaster
18:13go on that's sort of yeah that's it yeah yeah that's the role
18:19uh could this newscaster have a son
18:22uh in the hospital uh yeah sure i guess that's why his job means so much to him watching the
18:29news
18:29is the only way his bedridden son can feel connected to the outside world with the comforting face of
18:34his father as a beacon in the dark yeah we don't really need to you know what i could play
18:39the son
18:39in a flash forward yeah we're not making a movie here and i feel like we need to be daring
18:43this this
18:44newscaster is grappling with his own sexuality and as a result he's never been able to have an
18:48authentic moment with his son and now it might be too late right because of the cancer oh my god
18:54i mean this is how people win oscars bingo hey hey hey hey the fuck are you doing what don't
19:00encourage this and the sex scene should be uh ambiguous i mean sex to him is a rubicon i want
19:05the sex scenes to raise questions but provide no answers yeah this is getting kind of i'm willing
19:10to have sex on camera okay look there's also another role we need you to play dual roles oh wow
19:15i'm
19:15loving this what's the other part it's a cable guy who comes to the house to fix the cable could
19:21i uh
19:21could i pitch you something sure you ready yeah he's retarded no oh yeah no he's full-blown one
19:29wheel in the sand doesn't help us at all okay now remember just put the tape in the vcr and
19:35pretend to
19:35fix the cable sure thing governor i just moved here from out bloody looking to start a new life i
19:40don't
19:40no no no we talked about this just get in the fucking house
19:47and no limps
19:49hey dad look who we just ran into out on the steps it's the cable guy oh it's about goddamn
19:56time
19:57can you fix the cable yeah blood i can fix the cable no no get the fuck to work
20:03anything uh good in the paper today kangaroos a fake fucking called it what no they're not
20:11olivia newton john admitted it educate yourself blair fucking a the world's finally getting good
20:18and i'm stuck at home maybe i should go for a walk oh no no no home is better okay
20:24all finished
20:25wow that was fast guess i'll go uh turn on the tv
20:33good evening i'm chad farnsworth and this is your world who the hell is this i've never seen this guy
20:40before he seems complicated our top story oj simpson is still behind bars where reportedly
20:47he cries himself to sleep each night fucking yes asked if reopening alcatraz is a little extreme
20:54the california governor said not for this monster amen and now let's check in with our weather girl
21:01hayley snowden hayley uh what's the weather forecast for the weekend look like oh not so good chad
21:07unless you're a duck
21:11good one hayley
21:13uh we're sleeping together i can't keep my hands off her not even at work
21:20oh yeah oh my gosh i haven't felt like this since my wife died
21:27okay that's enough of that
21:33we're fucked dad's gonna be expecting another newscast tomorrow well that's our life now johnny
21:38prepare on a daily paper and nightly news we are a two-man media empire oh and by the way
21:44i fired
21:45blair she's suing us have you boys seen maddie he's not in the bedroom and i can't find him anywhere
21:50no
21:55he's not in the garage or the basement his coat's gone but the car is still here
22:00he must have gone for a walk oh shit he's out in the world he could learn the truth and
22:05have another heart attack
22:10hey how about those fucking fake kangaroos huh
22:12what
22:28excuse me sir
22:30yeah sir we're doing a man on the street interview for channel 6 news would you be willing to give
22:34your opinion
22:35always
22:36we're wondering how you feel about the oj verdict
22:39oh i love it makes me proud to be an american
22:41really
22:42absolutely i would have done the exact same thing if i was on that jury
22:46what about those who say the verdict was racially motivated
22:49bullshit as far as i'm concerned oj's getting exactly what he deserves
22:55okay well thank you for your time hey can you believe your weather lady's fucking the anchor
23:08hey maddie i haven't seen you in a few days what you been up to
23:11i had a heart attack yeah i had to put a fucking stent in my artery
23:15oh yeah i got one of those
23:17yeah mostly stent at this point they give you last rites
23:20no
23:20no don't fucking bore me
23:22hey
23:24how about that oj verdict huh
23:25no don't remind me i'm still pissed off about it
23:28why
23:29but once they got it right
23:31are you shitting me
23:32the whole thing was rigged
23:33well
23:34maybe a little but
23:35you know sometimes you gotta put your thumb on the scales of justice
23:38just to make sure things turn out fair
23:40justice
23:40you don't know what you're fucking talking about
23:42the hell i don't
23:44hey hey i got other customers here huh
23:46yeah you're right
23:47we shouldn't be bickering
23:48we sound like gary and gladys galumph
23:52who
23:54from the comic strip
23:55never heard of it
23:57it's in the paper every day
23:58i think they put that stent in your fucking brain
24:00the
24:01the fucking galumphs
24:02jesus christ you know
24:04oh gladys my aching back
24:06the galumphs
24:06i don't know what the fuck you're talking about
24:08they're making a movie with rosie o'dong
24:10maddie
24:11thank god there you are
24:13dad we were looking all over for you
24:14honey you gotta come home
24:15you need your rest
24:17i don't want to go i just got my beer
24:18you gotta get him out of here susan he's talking fucking crazy
24:21i'm talking
24:22he's fucking crazy
24:23he's never heard of the fucking galumphs
24:25there ain't no galumphs asshole
24:26you wouldn't know you don't fucking read you dumb fuck
24:29i read garfield like a regular fucking human being
24:31fuck basically
24:32fuck garfield and fuck you
24:33you should have been a fucking blowjob asshole
24:35why don't you go shit in another urinal you drunk fuck
24:38get him out of here
24:40glad you're doing better though
24:49he's asleep
24:50well that was a close fucking call
24:52you guys this is insane
24:54we have to tell him the truth
24:55it's too risky
24:56plus i already started working on tomorrow's galumphs
24:59gary goes as himself for halloween because of inflation
25:03maybe we should wait a little while longer
25:06until he gets his strength back
25:07no this is fucking crazy
25:09he walked to trammels
25:11that's the most exercise he's gotten in years
25:13he's fine
25:14he almost got in a fist fight over fucking garfield and survived
25:17but he's enjoying his new life
25:20please blair
25:21all we have to do is lie to him forever and he'll be happy
25:33hello
25:36i'm supposed to meet somebody here
25:39hello
25:41i have some information you might want
25:44blair
25:46yes
25:47what the fuck are we doing here
25:48do they know you're gone
25:50no i climbed out the bathroom window like the note said
25:53what the fuck is going on
25:55the rest of the family doesn't want you to see this
25:57but i can't keep living a lie
26:03what's this
26:04some kind of joke paper
26:06no maddie
26:07it's the real newspaper
26:09o.j is a free man
26:13what
26:13read the rest
26:18it's
26:19it says
26:19cleveland swept the red sox out of the playoffs
26:22of course they lost
26:23they're the red sox
26:24you're fucking with me
26:25look at the funnies
26:29the galumps
26:30where are the fucking galumps
26:33there are no galumps
26:35maddie
26:35but
26:37but hillary clinton
26:38her dick was real right
26:42no
26:42she has a vagina
27:01hey look that's the guy from the news
27:03hey
27:04thanks for sticking out for o.j
27:06what
27:07you're the blackest white man in boston
27:10oh my god
27:23um
27:23i'll call an ambulance
27:25no
27:27let me die
27:37oh maddie
27:38thank god
27:40you're okay
27:40i was so scared
27:42i'm fine
27:43i'm actually starting to get used to these heart attacks
27:45next one should be a breeze
27:46oh you're not allowed to have any more heart attacks
27:49we're gonna have a
27:50a long life together
27:53i love you maddie bennett
27:55i love you too susan
27:57i'm sorry uncle maddie
27:58i thought telling you the truth was the right thing to do
28:01i didn't realize you were so
28:04entrenched
28:05anyways
28:06yeah i'm sorry
28:07no it's all my fault
28:09this whole thing started because i'm a freeloading fuck-up
28:12then i fucked it up even worse by tricking you
28:15i don't blame you for being pissed
28:17are you kidding
28:18i'm not pissed
28:19i'm fucking impressed
28:21what
28:22yeah
28:22you made a whole newspaper every day for a week
28:26shit
28:27it was some of the best sports writing i've read in years
28:30and and the news
28:32johnny
28:33you created an entire world
28:35a world i want to live in
28:36where the red sox don't suck
28:38where madonna is dead
28:41and where a white guy in america
28:42can finally get a fair shake
28:45could i get some morphine
28:46sure
28:47i'll join you
28:48yeah it was a lie but
28:50it gave me something to believe in
28:53and if you can do all that
28:56i know you can do anything you set your mind to
28:59oh it's kind of a two-man operation
29:01so you don't think i'm a fuck-up
29:02you got potential johnny
29:05i'm proud of you
29:07thanks dad
29:20oh man
29:21it's just starting to hit me that high school's really over
29:24yeah there's no denying it
29:26you and i are now responsible adult members of society
29:29hand me that bong
29:31probably end up getting our own place soon
29:33you think mom will still come over to like
29:35do our laundry and clean up and shit
29:37absolutely not
29:39she's right johnny
29:40we're grown-ups now
29:41we'll bring the laundry to susan
29:43i say
29:43we become industrial bigwigs
29:46with an office in the world trade center
29:48two offices
29:49one in each tower
29:50and a satellite office in the pentagon
29:52for all those fat government contracts
29:53and a summer home for vacations
29:55i hear they got some great open land in pennsylvania
29:57ah nothing will stop us
29:59i think you guys might need to
30:00lower your expectations a little bit
30:02oh nuh-uh
30:03you heard my dad
30:05i can do anything i set my mind to
30:06i can go to college
30:08invent something
30:09the sky's the limit
30:10so
30:11what are you gonna do
30:23you sure this is what you want
30:24never been more sure of anything in my life
30:29i'm gonna get totally ripped
30:31you mean like a normal level of in shape
30:33no
30:34like really ripped
30:36like so muscular that people who love me are concerned
30:39i support you in this endeavor
30:41let's go
30:44and john did indeed get massively swole
30:48there was a seven year period where he never once wore a shirt
30:51eventually he married a really cool girl
30:55but they got divorced
30:56and he met another cool girl
30:59you know what
30:59there are two movies about it
31:01just watch them
31:02well the first one
31:03the second one has funny moments
31:05most of them in the first half
31:06but even i can't sit still for the whole thing
31:08anyway
31:09here's the end credits
31:17oh you've got a head full of someone dreadful
31:22and yet alas that someone adores you
31:26everybody needs a best friend
31:30i'm happy i'm yours
31:33i'm just a clown
31:36and i'll bring you down
31:39but you just don't care
31:42cause you're best friend is me
31:56um
32:17and jewellsburg
32:17and you know what the time is
32:17you're
32:17and i will see you
32:18i will see you
32:18good
32:18if you wait
32:18jack
32:18then you hear
32:18You
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