- 23 hours ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:04you're a waste of a life in sports depot you mean i'm wasting my life at sports depot you
00:10are in the top five most beautiful men in peterborough she's shit on my shoe fuck you
00:16alan you little prick i think mog's just quit congrats russell for what a new leader has arisen
00:23team leader so who's in charge now i'm in charge yeah good one in charge
00:31air max 95 in the original colorway i said i'd never break these bad boys out the box till i
00:38got
00:38married or had a baby but something even better happened i was made manager at sports depot
00:48it's one of those things you never think will happen to you
00:53life actually going well for once what are you doing you want heat or something what not
01:00bagoons russell yeah no it's a fair point i am in a position of responsibility now don't get cancelled
01:07now he's got like 70 of his body covered in tattoos oh does he well i'm 90 covered in hair
01:13doesn't mean
01:13i'm gonna open a shop about it so focused and driven my career's looking good now too probably
01:20get a pay rise yeah nice all right see ya what are you doing what jesus get on your way
01:28before you're
01:28trying to finger me or something yeah see ya
01:38i can't tell if it's the bubbles in these trainers or the promotion but i'm walking on air these people
01:44they know what i'm about i'm a high street elder to them i'm basically a black belt in retail all
01:52right
01:52guys sure okay we're not you're not moving again you're cool if i just try and no worries man um
01:59please cheese nope i might just go around the back see you in a bit guys
02:22if i'd have known it was this good to be manager i'd have started as one in the first place
02:29ahem we're doing the floor is lava uh we're basically trying to get from one side of the
02:34store to the other side of the store but without touching the floor guys this is brilliant really
02:41good great team building exercise i'm proud of you it's privileged to work here floor is lava
02:50where is lava you got this where is lava where is lava go for it right play time is over
02:59what are you
03:00doing what are you doing back to work this is a place of work people i don't know why mogs
03:10was ever
03:10stressed out to be honest it's so much easier back here than on the shop floor i might just stay
03:16back
03:16here all day yeah oh the phone's ringing sorry hello and the manager of sports depot peterborough is
03:29mogs russell russell yes there he is the man with the plan and right yeah everything is uh rosy
03:37yeah good glad to hear so you've sorted out your shoplifting problem then yeah shoplifting yeah you
03:42know there's little robbers hanging around outside i want them gone russell oh lads
03:48yeah i'd rather they were in here just doing a little bit of shoplifting than you know somewhere
03:53else doing god knows what it's an honor that they have chosen sports depot and to be honest in a
04:00sense they are part of the wider family yeah yeah uh listen i hate uh hate to do this but
04:07any more
04:08losses are going to come out of staff wages so it's up to you to stop them why why don't
04:12we get like a
04:13security guard russell you said it yourself you guys are a family okay and a family doesn't farm
04:17out its problems to outsiders and the last one got properly fucked up remember that's sort of what
04:23i'm worried about if you know we did approach them it could get a bit sort of aggressive whoa i
04:31don't
04:31want any of my staff getting physical yeah so just confront them just confront them but not physically
04:36but not in a physical but stop them yeah stop them as a family how is this fair the ceo
04:44has two lambos
04:44just in case he drunk crushes one and they want to take pennies off us little pagans yeah tell me
04:50about it i literally just did bro what are you gonna do yeah yeah no i'm just thinking we need
04:57to work
04:57out what we're gonna do you're talking about you naughty bastards hey hey don't what hey don't wind
05:04them up in some countries they cut off hands just saying we're definitely not cutting off hands all
05:10right i don't have many rules as a manager i'm actually quite relaxed but that's one of them
05:15none of you are getting hurt not under my watch well i'm not getting paid less just because you're a
05:19weak
05:19little man we have to do something okay malenga you know how good managers sort of pass on
05:27responsibility just thinking maybe i don't know if you sort of could have a word like man listen
05:34i train to look like this so i don't have to fight obviously i can fight you don't know about
05:39my mma
05:39days elbow man in the eye what that's behind me you know i'm on a strict probation i left london
05:45to
05:45get away from that no you moved here with girl and that well i'm not gonna roll over and wait
05:50to be
05:50fucked we're doing it my way i like to look someone in the eye when they're fucking me oh
06:02okay even if i've got moments left to live and i'm literally begging do not give it back okay i
06:08mean
06:08i guess but i don't know why you put yourself through this though well because i need to save 5k
06:11for
06:11australia and my biggest outgoing expense is ganj so this ain't the kind of place for me to be
06:15at full capacity but wow yeah no i i get why you didn't give it to me because i'm a
06:19manager and
06:20i've got a lot on my plate yeah no it's because if i gave it to you there's a zero
06:24chance you'd stand
06:25up to me but i'm a manager and i have a lot of responsibility now fine thank you actually before
06:31we start can i just have it back quickly no we haven't started yet we have started i literally
06:35swear swear on someone's life i swear on princess diana she's dead okay claire balding claire balding yeah
06:42okay but if she drops dead that's on you okay she will see poor claire balding we have a cat
06:52in the
06:53bag what do you mean you got a cat in the bag all right i'm coming down yeah who's claire
06:59balding
07:01let me out you three i said don't touch anyone i didn't i saw him go in and held the
07:07door his
07:08mates run away well it is a human right not to get locked in sports depot to be fair what
07:13about my
07:14human rights are full wage what if he needs a piss oh i could do with the piss actually next
07:18piss you'll
07:18be doing is behind bars with it took between your legs because you'd be the new prison
07:21bitch all right everyone just calm down all right i'll talk to him the time for talking's over
07:26russell we should be chopping off hands or maybe i should call george allen and tell him you haven't
07:31got the minerals for the job i'll deal with this all right and unless malanga you fancy
07:34it like man yeah no worries i'll i'll take this one take this for protection okay are you ready yeah
07:45oh my god it's like a prize reveal isn't it it's over on a teenager what's your name son aj
07:52talk to
07:53me aj what's gone wrong in your life that's brought you here what's a sports depot poor bastard it's not
07:59your fault you can't see a life beyond crime edgers what's that called a systemic societal issue
08:06yeah listen can we just call the police because i can't be with this what and put another young
08:11man in the system no that's not the sort of manager i want to be well if you won't do
08:15it i'm phoning the
08:16police yeah he's mugging us off no police all right look how pathetic he is we deal with this in
08:22-house
08:22i was like him once handsome full of dreams lost in the concrete jungle i get it it's a code
08:28and you
08:29you know what saved me retail maybe that can save you
08:34a new fantastic point of view no one to tell us no where to go
08:43say we're only dreaming a whole new world
08:51oh it's literally like my first day sober at sports depot you know it's like the lights have come
08:57up at the club has it always been this ship yeah well it's really disappointing we've got like eight
09:04hours left as well how'd you get through the day okay this is going to sound controversial yeah but
09:10you know if you just do your job yeah it goes a little bit quicker yeah like seven people and
09:14that well i reckon i could serve people you know she looks nice not damn mad old bad she always
09:21gets
09:21lost in there listen i told you stop coming here i told you it's my place of work so i'll
09:28never work with you
09:31these don't think i live with my girl not my nan yeah i'm supposed to be a bad man you
09:36bad man oh why
09:40are you laughing you know i'm the baddest man in the mosque hands down temper your temper we need to
09:46talk about tonight i've got a man coming around for a date another day it's the third day actually
09:53we're having dinner at mine and things might get a bit messy that's enough yeah that's disgusting
10:01what i meant sex ah i love having you live with me but why haven't you got a place of
10:07your own by
10:08now i'm not a big boy all grown up i can have my own place you know how hard it
10:13is to buy a house
10:13right now yeah it's not like back in your day when you just get a cereal box cut out and
10:17boom you have
10:18a mortgage the disrespect save your money you know what it's cool yeah i got a bear girl i can
10:26call up
10:27i just you know link all my teens that's more like it that's my boy and i see you tomorrow
10:32not
10:33too early i might want to rematch you know rematch who even says that you don't be done on the
10:40earth man
10:43this is brilliant yeah you're right it is brilliant no no no i'm genuinely excited about how much you're
10:50fucking this all up get out it's not like a heartbreak you can't make me work here okay this is
10:59your chance as a high street elder it is my duty to look out for the youngers and also chance
11:05for you
11:05to pay off your debt i didn't take anything edgars show him robbing bastard exactly you are a robbing
11:14bastard okay respectfully but this big opportunity for you the day working at sports depot could be
11:21the start of your retail career or i call the place simple wait so are you asking me or making
11:27me out why can't it be both edgars tell him what's good about working here parking is convenient no like
11:36you know sort of a sense of family no i have family okay okay there's a commission basic commission
11:46commission working here you're making bank listen if i wanted to make bank i just work my brother yeah
11:52it's a drug dealer is he hiring hey you mean is he hiring a weird guy weird sense of humor
12:10you know just go yeah so busy oh have i missed lunch it's 10 a.m 10 a.m
12:25fucking hell oh that's mental
12:38that's malenga he's an ex-roadman turned his life around working in sports depot am i right baby
12:44yeah proper inspiration now i'm lucky enough to say he's my best mate you've never met outside work
12:50have you no it's more an in work thing why don't we i told you i was busy that day
12:54man i've got bare
12:55ventures and consistent gallium yeah yeah it is do you know what i was thinking about earlier do you
13:01remember that time that guy came in drinking a tango and i said hey man no food or drink allowed
13:06in the shop and he got proper shirty and then guess what what he tripped up right spilt his drink
13:14everywhere isn't he yeah man dropped his tango i know you said um he said you've been tangoed
13:27oh don't he had to be there he probably was there stealing
13:31he knows the deal oh it's not fun to work here just accept that he doesn't really think that
13:35do you think that that's pretty sick boxing gear ah yes good way to allow some aggression in a
13:42positive sort of way do you want to have a go nah come on don the pads him he's putting
13:47one in
13:47boxing yes aj as well anthony joshua do you like him yeah that's a lot of adverts oh god what
13:54are
13:54these six ounces all right you ready left right double left one big right yeah you punch out my nan
14:04all right check this out then ah fuck mate are you all right are you okay take these off man
14:11ah aj mate i
14:14was joking oh my nose so don't mess i just want to go home it's got to sit tight mate
14:28wait for that
14:28swelling to go down amazing george allen says get rid of shoplifters and don't touch them you give one
14:35a job and batter him that was an accident didn't batter me it's a lucky punch that's why i don't
14:41don the
14:41gloves too powerful i'm bound to be manager after this fuck up i might even keep you on make you
14:48my
14:48little bitch even get you a badge that just says bitch ross i beg you just let the little man
14:54go
14:54what if he's got a concussion what dad's gonna kill me if you think something fighting again hold on
14:58your dad what are you from a you're from a tasty family are you yeah i looked him up on
15:04high street
15:04shoplifters network aj brady brady family rough as fuck shit hold on it says here symptoms of
15:11concussion dizziness moodiness he has been well moody to be fair yeah because you punched me in the
15:18face you dickhead see what we're gonna do you're gonna call george allen and tell him i resign put
15:25jemma in charge and then you're gonna go home and wait for aj's family to come and kill you
15:31today they they wouldn't murder would they okay just i'm gonna go get some air guys okay you're in charge
15:45all right you're in there didn't know you're in there
15:51is it me or is time going like well slow it's been on this number for like a whole minute
15:56now
15:58yeah have you ever been concussed yeah okay that's good because you turned out all right
16:02oh what are you doing there anyway just hiding from customers you know keep asking me stuff though
16:08yeah they do that thing is it's never a question i've got something to say on like
16:12climate change or the israel palestine problem i know it's always where are the socks you know
16:18where are the hats why aren't you wearing shoes and they don't fuck all about trainers it's it's
16:23sickening it's embarrassing oh did you know you're stressed sweating again russ it's really hot
16:29would you want me to leave you in the chill out room to yourself maybe yes please yeah that's fine
16:33thank you wish me luck good luck thank you
16:41positive smiling don't need to smoke oh hi uh do you want this in another size
16:46no it's full of pee oh okay um is it your pee oh don't know why i asked that um
16:54how'd you do these in a balloon oh um what i can do is i can look out the back
16:58for you that helps
17:13you're creeping me out sorry man just watching the hill i think it is getting better oh god it's
17:21getting worse that that is proper disgusting shit wait aren't you meant to be on tails oh yeah i just
17:28wanted to see if you want to go for a smoke that's all you said you're off it no i
17:31am but i just like
17:33to know it's there and i just spent 20 minutes listening to a guy talk about tennis rackets and
17:38then a kid pissed into a shoe so i need something and because it might help with the pain don't
17:44you think
17:44will it yeah i think it will yeah okay i'll see what you're doing you want to hang out with
17:52a big
17:52dog me obviously i think i'm really getting through to him all right come on then come on so what
18:02sort
18:02of uh sort of tennis racket did he go for then oh no i told him we don't sell tennis
18:06rackets no we do
18:07they're um they're upstairs by the not today wrestle see aj this is retail life your dad won't actually
18:21kill us really kill you you mean do you always look like green my hands feel a little bit funny
18:30such a lightweight yeah i thought you said your brother was a dealer yeah he is he doesn't let me
18:35smoke because i was so many four inch you're 14 we're fucked the floor is lava
18:54we gave drugs to an actual child yeah we're definitely going to jail do you reckon it's one
18:59of those crimes where you go souls for one night like tonight maybe oh i'm
19:05so jealous you're high russell your mom's in the shop what she didn't say she was coming um okay
19:14yeah tell her i'll be uh i'll be down yep i'm gonna i'll be back don't let him leave this
19:20office
19:27mom i've never seen you move so fast where's my mom oh she's never coming back
19:34i just wanted you to see this i thought it might upset you
19:49noted okay laid man all right russ oh my god this is so awkward i'll see you later
19:58why are you even chatting to him he's wearing a waistcoat he's not even a magician you know his
20:02real name's jeremy i saw i'm horny what yeah take me but you said that i'm in a position of
20:10responsibility and not to act like a baboon who gives a shit but i said okay because i am horny
20:14so
20:15don't stand here talking about it or do you want to take me into the sports department changing room
20:18yeah yeah jesus christ are you always aging shit quick quick quick quick who's aging i was aj bro
20:25yeah you fucking like that don't you you cocky little simpletent yeah what are we doing
20:29oh okay um can you just be nice though please it's just quite stressed out yeah sure um just maybe
20:38this would be better in the bedroom it's just a crack it shoots up in here this is a modern
20:42romance
20:43and i keep thinking about this 14 year old kid i mean it's weird but we can work with it
20:52yeah but is this in the yen or something because there's hella zeros and it's a bit too much for
20:57a
20:57one bed still all right cool how about you see one of them empty flats you got you do a
21:04little try
21:04before you buy kind of deal i'm sorry that's not a thing all right you get back to me yeah
21:08all right
21:08cool thank you thank you thank you are you like a proper london road man yeah yeah very cool
21:13tell about my swag that's sick yeah man obviously i can tell you bare stories about the ends and at
21:18the hood tonight if you want if you got like a spare room or something bunk bed i'm 14. yeah
21:24that's
21:24kind of weird you're not telling anyone that i'll ask you that if you were making paper you have your
21:28own house i got my own house i just i just live with my nant and my my girl at
21:33the moment it's a
21:34little bit complicated you're moist man you call it moist bro you're wet bro you look like
21:40gary lindercore before he's on match of the day fuck this i ain't babysitting this waste man man
21:45hey wait wait wait wait just let me out yeah yeah let you out watch
21:59turns out i actually do need to smoke weed to work here so can i have my stuff back there's
22:04no way you
22:04are not a quitter i am and i'm cool with that listen mind over matter you have to manifest australia
22:11yeah you never get what you want from life unless you take control of your destiny wait are you still
22:17talking about me all right listen let me do a local calculation on sports depot wages
22:23no weed yeah it would take you six years to save for australia six years yeah six years
22:32do you come from a land down on love
22:49sorry about that it's a bit quick um normally i lost it on when it lasts longer
22:57that that's that's completely consensual we're looking for a kid called aj oh god for that yeah
23:04uh no aj yeah sure good kid uh we do not want to press charges just a bit of short
23:10lifting actually
23:11aj is the one who called us he says he's being held against his will oh right do you want
23:17to come to
23:18the office that's where we hold that's where he is not holding him it's just where he's been kept
23:25in in like a non sort of weird way do you know what i mean yeah yeah
23:34you detained a 14 year old made him work for free punched him and drugged him and then detained him
23:41again well now you put it like that it does sound quite bad right i don't even know what crime
23:47this
23:48counts as but whatever it is don't do it again yeah yeah sorry
23:53i was just trying to look out for you man he's gonna tell everyone you're a nonce don't tell anyone
24:03i'm once everyone hates nonces i i hate nonces i do exactly what a nonce would say shut up
24:10give me a puffer jacket and three pairs of trainers and then i won't tell anybody you're a nonce
24:14okay here's another deal right you work here full time okay you work hard you make something of
24:20yourself you could be like me a nonce shut up and i won't abandon you
24:34well don't think twice about shoplifting here again
24:37yeah because you straight up gave him 200 quids worth of stock and some valuable life lessons
24:42can i have a word yeah sure
24:48let's go back
24:50mate amma just told me you want to join the game of mine tonight
24:53shoot what what game all this time and you wanted to
24:56you should have just said
24:58you're gonna have to stay though we go late like midnight late technician lads are gonna love this
25:04it's gonna be mental see you down there technician lads
25:08fuck no
25:14you know that mad old bird from earlier yeah she's just dropped this for you and she said that she
25:21hopes that you found somewhere to stay tonight while she's getting laid oh my god
25:25your nan's a shagga respect i can't believe i'm staying at russell's no just manifest manifest
25:36proper shame i couldn't convince aj that retail is the one but i'm a high street elder i tried to
25:42bring him into the tribe but actually some people are wrong and he won't fit into the tribe so i
25:47had to
25:47reject it plus george allen's happy because the lads have moved on to foot zone the job well done in
25:55the end although the manager is a certified nonce down there best of all me and malenga are finally
26:01doing something after work always invite your staff back to yours basically they love it my man's stock
26:06bar the bog lord running through the goblin's wolf's ends you get me you might not back back crossbow
26:13plus two you know your head top yeah everyone in the forgotten realm dead wow you like it bad
26:19you can leave now yeah i look like wonder woman bro so good man happy anniversary oh you gonna make
26:29up to me take me outside this dinner is gonna clean me right out when it asks you do you
26:34want to see
26:34the specials later on you might even get to see her specials maybe dish of the day might be shaved
26:39truffle
26:39what are you doing let go of i'm getting fired he is out of there he's coming to watch me
26:44fire him
26:44the psycho big dog i will show you exactly what a shaved truffle is let the game begin
26:51after after after after after after after after after after after after
26:59yo check yo yo check the script me and the guards didn't rip blunts in the grip forty dogs in
27:06my lips
27:07had a box who moved the baseball blast he was laughing at all the girls that bash conversation
27:13mother's happy get to the sky hey yo rock remember that get too much oh yeah
Comments