- 2 days ago
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00:04You
00:19But wake the fuck up, we're going her retirement weekend sleep when he's dead. Okay, I'll distract him
00:26You fucking got to get out of here. With what a teleporter go hide
00:35Use rubber hey odds you alive or what?
00:39Fuck bro, you can't just barge in here like that. Okay, cuz I was
00:43Rubbing one out glad I didn't walk in on that. Yeah, me too. Here get the Caesar India all your
00:48essential nutrients awesome tomatoes vodka clams and
00:52Holy shit way more vodka maybe one of my famous pickled beans this new batch make your ass lips pucker.
00:59Can't wait
01:01Fuck grab your shit. Oh, one more thing you
01:06Huh, you want your eggs Todd style I know scrambled fine scramble coming up. Thank you
01:12You're welcome again
01:13Get the fuck out of here
01:15Oh shit, this is gonna suck
01:25Why the hell were you up on our roof Todd's roof he's got shingle rod and there goes that time.
01:30Oh, fuck
01:33Shower now
01:35Hmm shingle rod
01:37First I'm hearing of it. Mr. Handy mullet. Are you shaving your whole face? I've been doing it since I
01:43was five
01:43You do it once and it grows back thicker if I don't stay on top of this. I'm a daytime
01:47werewolf. Oh, look who it is
01:50I'm not here
01:57Morning boss you look please don't even go there dick lamp your waiter in service last night was bullshit
02:03What the fuck happened to the dessert? I paid for oh, I eat the dessert myself. You were too busy
02:08eating my sister's face
02:10Hey, you want to see a drawing of the dream? I had are you wearing clothes this time fuck? Oh,
02:15Jesus. Is that your stepmom again? Yeah, miss Nancy
02:19Step this time. She's part woman part recliner. You really need to talk to somebody about this. I am you're
02:26my someone. I'm not qualified
02:28What do you think this dream means?
02:30Oh, great. We're all clear
02:32Ow, you fucking city weasel
02:35Oh, fuck
02:40Don't stare him in the eyes
02:42You should know better. I do know better. How about I just punt the fucking thing over the fence?
02:50Hey, buddy, what are you doing here?
02:52Oh, hey, bud
02:53I was just uh
02:55Coming to uh, take you to breakfast
02:57I got breakfast on the go inside. Come on in
02:59Oh, nice. What happened to your face? You getting a fight?
03:01Yeah, no, I saw it running through the bush hunting squirrels and shit. How come you're all wet?
03:05Uh, I think it was raining over where I am
03:07It's not a smell pizza or something
03:08It's raining. There's not a fucking cloud in the sky
03:10Uh, drive that into ya
03:12Wow, Todd style
03:14Oh, yeah
03:16What is that? Did I do that to you?
03:18No, no, no, do we
03:20Thank you, toddler
03:21Uh, did everyone have a good night?
03:24Oh, yeah, sure did
03:26Yeah?
03:27Anyone special spend the night?
03:32Todd?
03:33Nope, and probably for the best because I snore like a bastard
03:37Playing hard to get, huh? Good strategy
03:39Not that hard
03:40We already talked about another date
03:42That a boy
03:42Nice
03:43Nice
03:45What'd you get up to after Dane and I left last night?
03:48I left right after you guys
03:49Are you sure?
03:51Yeah
03:51Um, what time did you leave?
03:54Later
03:55Later
03:55Little later
03:56Not too late
03:57Not nose beers late
03:58Nothing like that, you know
03:59Just uh, early for some
04:00Later for others
04:01You know what I mean?
04:02It's just kinda just
04:03One of those get up
04:05Yes
04:05You're being weird
04:06Why not?
04:07Well, you guys got some catching up to do
04:09Cause I'm already on round two
04:16Happy Monday
04:17Oh, what a messy weekend
04:19My brains are scrambled
04:20You gonna be okay to work today?
04:22Did you get that all out of your system?
04:24I don't know, man
04:26Okay
04:26Alright
04:27You were not hung over
04:28You're good
04:29You were definitely hung over
04:32Here
04:32Coffee
04:33Check
04:34After coffee gum
04:35Thank you
04:36Take this for the pain
04:38Chase it down with this
04:41What would you do without me?
04:43I'd be fucked
04:44Look at me
04:47Ow
04:47Now you're good
04:48The fuck
04:50Let's go Monday
04:51Do this
04:52Woo
04:54We are crushing life
04:55Crushing it
04:56Good morning, ladies
04:57Hey
04:58It's Monday, but Todd's got Friday energy
05:00Oh yeah
05:01Smell that? That's the smell of money being made, bitches
05:03Paychecks cleared
05:04I gave us a raise
05:05As you should
05:06While you're at it, I'll take one
05:08Sure, sweetheart
05:09Pew pew! Pew pew!
05:11That's the walk of a man that wishes I'd take him back
05:13I heard that
05:14You heard that
05:15Maybe I wanted you to
05:19Hey, Chips
05:20Truckers are champions
05:23Fuck
05:24Hey, Steffi
05:25What's cracking?
05:26Hey, brother
05:26Today could be the day
05:28Zero infractions
05:29Oh, let's hope
05:30Oh!
05:31Was that one?
05:32Nothing unsafe about that
05:33That's called team spirit
05:34Yeah, it is
05:35Don't you fuck this up for me, Winky
05:37Hey, Taze
05:39Don't just stand there
05:40Put your hands in your pockets
05:41Why stand when you can lean?
05:42Why lean when you can sit?
05:44Clocked in
05:45Tuned out
05:46Have a good shift, everyone
05:47Play safe
05:47Come, come, come, come, come, come, come
05:49Look at this
05:49We finally solved the mystery of the eight-inch pube
05:52It's not a pube
05:53It's a hair
05:54Off the janitor's head
05:55Oh, well, thanks
05:56Fuck, I've been praying for closures of that one
06:02You watching hands?
06:03No, no, no
06:04That came out of the pizza
06:05You watching hands?
06:10Morning, sunshine
06:11Hey, Chelsea
06:12Hell of a night at Jimmy's party
06:14Yeah, officially unionized
06:16Cheers to progress
06:16Also, congrats
06:18You get to swing the axe today
06:19It's your first official layoff as General Foreman
06:22Well, that was a fun little 180
06:24Contract got pulled
06:25Initially it was four guys
06:27But I got it down to one
06:28So, clock's ticking
06:29One? That's it?
06:31Don't we have apprentices sitting around?
06:33Or travel cards visiting?
06:35Retirees?
06:35You're one head heavy
06:36You know the crews
06:38I'm sorry, but I need a name
06:40Can you do it?
06:42Layoffs are your job, GF
06:43Okay, can I just...
06:45No, you can't pick yourself
06:48Fuck
06:52Your colon called
06:53It's scared
06:55It's unionized
06:56It's organizing waka through my butthole
06:58At this point I feel like you're not even digesting food
07:00You're more brining yourself from the inside out
07:03If I taste the food, then the food tastes me
07:05Okay
07:06You asked?
07:07I delivered
07:08This is coital silver
07:10This'll help get rid of my lung whistle?
07:13Oh, yeah
07:13This stuff might have to tickle out of my throat and open my third eye
07:16This is the shit the FDA doesn't want you to know about
07:18Oh-ho-ho
07:19Try it!
07:21What do you gotta lose?
07:22Come on, man, I'm telling you
07:23Smells like a slot machine, man
07:25Is that fish?
07:26Yes
07:27Oh
07:28And smoked mackerel from my Uncle Ezekiel
07:30Yeah, well now everyone is smoked
07:31Delicious, look at it
07:33Oh, you microwaved it in tinfoil, you dummy
07:35No
07:36That's precisely what you're supposed to do with it
07:38That is literally the one thing you're not supposed to put into a microwave
07:41That's incorrect
07:42I need to show you some backwoods culture, okay?
07:45This is the proper way
07:46Who raised you?
07:46Oh, yeah, wolves
07:48Yeah, something's fishy and it ain't that mackerel
07:51Oh, yeah
07:53Bad herring, you think?
07:55No, Dave
07:56Small sex! Small sex!
08:04That Snacks is a wild boy
08:07You know what? You actually might need a rabies shot
08:09Maybe
08:10I mean, what do you think? You wanna come with?
08:12Make it a date?
08:14You're asking me on a rabies date?
08:15Fuck yeah
08:16It's not my first shot and it won't be my last
08:18You might as well just come with me, I'll get blasted
08:20And then we'll go get some wings
08:21I do like sweet and spicy
08:23Yeah?
08:24Yeah
08:24Do you like it like the weekend?
08:26From what I remember, it was okay
08:28What you remember better than okay?
08:30You know it, admit it, you had fun
08:32Come on
08:32You did
08:33Give it
08:34Stop it, stop it, I'm fucking serious
08:36Reggie, I'm fucking serious, okay?
08:38What?
08:38This does not go beyond us
08:40You're his best friend, I'm his fucking sister
08:42I will not be the toolbox talk
08:43No one here will know anything about what happened between us
08:46Top of the morning, lovers
08:49For fuck's sake Stu
08:51Fucking snake
08:53Oh my god Dewey
08:54That is right, I know everything
08:56I told you
08:58What do you mean told me, he lives there
08:59The price for my silence will be forty bucks
09:02What?
09:02However, I will not delete the mental images
09:06Ew
09:07You're not extorting me Dewey
09:10I will fuck your shit up
09:11Get him
09:12That's a bit aggressive, for a guilty conscience
09:14You give me forty dollars and I
09:17I will live in this
09:18I will give you a fucking punch in the balls Dewey
09:21And that will squeeze your head off
09:22How does that sound?
09:23Easy big fella
09:25Imagine Todd's face when he finds out his bestie and his sister played the little game of drill and fill
09:29Huh?
09:30Okay, he's kinda got us
09:31Fuck you Dewey, forty for your silence
09:34Good deal, good deal
09:35Fine, don't be like some fucking foot fungus coming back next week Dewey
09:38I expect your silence
09:39Well fungus is resilient
09:41Silence
09:43Okay, here we go
09:44Who's the most expendable?
09:46Come on, Tanner
09:48Come on, Tanner
09:53Fuck!
09:55Alright
09:56I guess we let the people decide
10:04Please!
10:05God!
10:06Can't you see we're on a banana break, Dewey?
10:08Jeez
10:08Jesus Dewey
10:09I have been entrusted with something of an adult nature
10:14Hmm, do tell
10:15How adult are we talking?
10:17Triple X adult
10:19Maximum spice
10:20Oh, that's my favorite level of spice
10:22And I'm the only one that knows
10:24Not for long
10:28Alright, who's up?
10:31Oh, here we go
10:32Hey, Tan Man
10:34Hey
10:34Hey
10:35Quick question
10:36How do you feel
10:37I've been taking a long weekend?
10:38Maybe back to back long weekends
10:41And
10:41All the days in between
10:43Uh, I mean
10:44I love the time off
10:45Is it paid?
10:47I need the hours
10:47No, I was thinking more
10:50Voluntarily
10:50Oh
10:51Well, I'm saving up for a place of my own
10:53Cause I still live at home with my mom, man
10:55Oh, you do, do you?
10:56She just got a new boyfriend
10:57Right
10:58At night, I can't hear him, but
11:00Oh, I can sure as hell hear her
11:02Okay
11:03Oh, fuck
11:04Unless that is him
11:05I hope not
11:07I actually gotta be somewhere different
11:16Didn't see the sign?
11:17I saw it
11:19Whoa, beauty
11:20What?
11:21What?
11:24So, listen, Roach
11:25What do you think about taking some time off?
11:27Uh, like, paid vacation?
11:29Nope, it'd just be a vacation
11:30Well, I can't
11:31I'm two payments behind on my dirt bike
11:34That's okay
11:34They said they'd take my thumb
11:36And this one's opposable, so
11:38I guess you can't paint without your thumb
11:40Oh
11:42For fuck's sakes
11:42Hey, man, you didn't even piss
11:46Are you sure you don't want a bit of time off?
11:48Hell no
11:49Look at these delts
11:51They're not gonna feed themselves
11:53Look at them
11:54Which ones are the delts again?
11:56Yeah
11:56I just can't do it
11:57I know too much about their lives
11:59They all have stories
12:00Debts
12:00Pets that need surgeries
12:02A guy's mom having sloppy loud sex
12:04It's fucked
12:05You're the GF, Todd
12:07Part of the job is making hard calls
12:09Yeah
12:12Look, I know it sucks
12:13Just find the balance between being a friend and a leader
12:16What does this have to do?
12:17It's more than about your piss, Roach
12:18It's everything
12:19Todd
12:20Fuck
12:21Look at this
12:22If you trace the silver supply chain backwards
12:24Bam!
12:25That's where the airborne microchips come in
12:26Right under our ignorant little noses
12:28I was just asking why my piss is so, uh, stinky
12:32Honest
12:32No, no, no, no, look
12:34That's the detox piss, man
12:35It's the best kind of piss
12:36It's the number one of number ones
12:38Now, come on, move!
12:40Happy scrapbooking, boys
12:41Fuck you, Todd
12:42Good one
12:43And you're having a tough time finding a candidate?
12:45Crazy gets shit done
12:47Oh, conch wouldn't be conch without crazy
12:51Watch that line, Leonard
12:52I'm not sure about that calculation
12:54I used your theorem
12:55Not very well
12:56Leonard
12:57Mehdi
12:58Where are you?
12:59Why are you on a necklace?
13:00I'm supervising Leonard's work from abroad
13:03My arms got tired
13:04So I made this Mehdi strap-on
13:06Unfortunately, his arms tire very easily
13:08What?
13:09Not that easily
13:10Well, boys
13:12If these walls could top
13:15I just alphabetized those
13:18What's our little rat saying now?
13:20No clue
13:21I don't tell tales out of school
13:23Oh, sure, right, right, right
13:26Come on, punky deuster
13:27Spit it out
13:29But a certain lady carpenter and her burly journeymen
13:32Have been erecting platforms after hours
13:35What?
13:36What?
13:36Wait
13:37My connection glitched
13:39Ah, Leonard
13:39Elevate me
13:40Close, sir
13:41I want to study his eyes
13:43I'm telling you the truth
13:45You're thrown by my droopy eye
13:47I was born with it
13:48I don't think so
13:49I don't think he's telling the truth
13:54Take this
13:55Ah!
13:56Fuck, Dewey
13:57You can't tell anyone's top secret
14:01Okay
14:02Odds and Bareback are doing the horizontal fender bender
14:06What?
14:07He's putting his hammer into her holster
14:12Say no more
14:13I am a vault
14:15But that is too big of a secret to keep
14:17What do you mean?
14:18That means I need fifty bucks
14:19Fifty bucks?
14:20Come on, Dewey
14:21That's the best rate I can give you for my silence
14:23Wait, are you serious?
14:25You're blackmailing me?
14:27Taxing gossip
14:28Hey, I accept e-transfer cash
14:30Thanks, bud
14:33Oh, shit
14:36Everybody knows, Dewey
14:37People are talking, Dewey
14:39Not us, though
14:40We're confidential
14:42But not for free
14:43What?
14:43We heard you're paying out hush money
14:45Hush money
14:48And what is it that you want?
14:51Mani pedis
14:52Shellac
14:52None of that cheap clear coat shit
14:54And a spray tan
14:55Like a full caramel glaze
14:57Caramel glaze?
15:01Caramel
15:02Oh, my God
15:03This shit ain't cheap, Dewey
15:04We know you're good for it
15:05Yeah, we might start feeling chatty
15:07You know, I look after snacks now, too
15:09I have to feed him and wash them
15:11And that's on you
15:12It costs money
15:14You know, we got a growing number of employees
15:16Interested in being paid to keep their mouth closed
15:19About that gossip
15:21I know
15:21It's appalling
15:23You should probably report this to Chelsea
15:25No
15:26No, don't do that
15:27Unless he'd be willing to donate
15:30To my bulking regimen
15:33Would you, Dewey?
15:36Would you?
15:39Hey, boss
15:43Are you okay?
15:44I gotta lay someone off
15:46Fuck
15:47Look at these beautiful bastards
15:49How am I supposed to pick?
15:53Who wants well done?
15:54Fresh off the torch
15:57Anyone?
15:58Stay with me
16:00Stay with me
16:01Stay with me
16:01Stay with me
16:02It's raining
16:03Yeah
16:05Normally I nail
16:06Ha ha
16:08Seven
16:09Sixty-eight
16:10Sixty-nine
16:12You left it
16:13There you go, Texans
16:14Woo
16:16Woo
16:16Todd, my man
16:18Whenever I've gotta be a stone hole bad bitch
16:21I call him my alter ego, Stephanie
16:23Oh yeah
16:24Yeah
16:24This is Steph
16:25You've met her
16:27This, however
16:29Is Stephanie
16:30There's a difference?
16:31Oh, there's a difference
16:32It's in the attitude
16:33Check this out
16:35Hey Tanner, your locker's been compromised
16:37Clear it out
16:38Ah, fuck me
16:39Not again
16:40Go dead behind the eyes
16:41No blinking
16:42No throat clears
16:43Monotone
16:44Find an attitude that works for you
16:47Don't be fucking Todd
16:50Be Toddrick
16:52Got it
16:53Say it
16:57I'm Todd Rick
16:58I'm a stone cold
17:00I'm a stone cold bad bitch
17:01Yeah you are, man
17:04You got this
17:08Gotta lay you off
17:09Hey Todd
17:10I can see your lips moving
17:12But all I can hear is Nickelback
17:14Oh yeah
17:16Sometimes you gotta remove a good stud to finish the wall
17:19What?
17:20Your voice sounds fucking weird
17:22Oh, is this your attempt at a boss man voice?
17:25I gotta lay you off
17:27That sucks for you, man
17:29Cause I ain't going nowhere
17:35Fuck my life
17:36Yeah, you're gonna have to practice, Toddrick
17:38You couldn't lay off that
17:41She's alright
17:42You alright?
17:46Yes
17:47I'm scared
17:49Ah
17:50Due to recent economic developments
17:51The price for my silence has increased
17:54Fucker, you better not have told anyone, Dewey
17:56I will screw you to the wall
17:58And throw fucking knives at you
17:59You better not fuck this up for me
18:01Why are you kidding?
18:02Told anyone?
18:03Absolutely not
18:04I mean my...
18:05God you told...
18:05How many people did you tell?
18:06Hypothetically
18:07If I had told someone
18:09Then I hypothetically
18:11Would now need some more money
18:12To hypothetically
18:14Not tell more people?
18:17Hypothetically
18:17I'm here by the balls right now
18:18How much more do you need?
18:20Oh, this'll do
18:20Oh, what the fuck, Dewey?
18:22Hey, you remember
18:22I know where you sleep
18:24Unfortunately for you B-dubs
18:26I now know where you've been sleeping
18:28For fuck's sakes, Dewey
18:29No, Roach
18:30You can't chop colloidal silver
18:31Put it down
18:32No, Roach
18:33Get off me
18:35We gotta get out
18:36It tastes like Burnt's power man
18:37We gotta purge it out of him
18:39Before he turns into the king
18:40Ah
18:42Ah
18:42Ah
18:43Fucking highway
18:44Hey
18:45What the hell's going on here?
18:46No!
18:46You can't chop colloidal silver
18:48Yeah, yeah, but baby
18:49Don't body slam the guy, Homer
18:50He's not gonna be okay
18:51Why are you helping?
18:52I mean it
18:52He's gonna be really sick of telling
18:54Hey, stop it!
18:55Stop!
18:56Homer
18:58I'm laying you off
18:59Whoa
19:02Wait, what?
19:04Ah, bummer, man
19:06Break it up
19:07Hey, come on
19:08Thanks for that taste
19:13Maureen kicked me out
19:15She's worried if I don't talk to someone
19:17I'm gonna build a bunker
19:18But I've already got a bunker
19:19So this would just be like
19:20What?
19:20Another bunker?
19:22Are you seeing someone about this?
19:24Yeah, I mean
19:25There's a group
19:27Deprogramming programming
19:28We meet every Thursday night
19:29In the basement of this vape shop
19:32And sometimes it's virtual
19:33But
19:34Okay
19:34Basically we all sit in a circle
19:36And say the real stuff out loud
19:40Like
19:43Chemtrails might
19:44They might not actually exist
19:45They don't
19:46Or the
19:48The moon landing might have actually happened
19:51It probably did
19:52It's been hard, man
19:53Where have you been staying?
19:55I'm going to park my van outside Bob's hardware
19:57There's no nighttime security
19:59Okay
20:00Sometimes I sleep in my shed
20:02Or
20:04Underneath the lunchroom tables
20:06Are you serious?
20:07The hum of the fridge helps me sleep
20:09Plus just knowing your food's safe in there, you know?
20:11See
20:12I really think you need some time off
20:14I can't be laid off you corporate bobblehead
20:16I got Maureen and the kids to support
20:18I get it and I hate this
20:19But I also have to do my job
20:21You assaulted Roach today
20:23And you probably fucking poisoned him
20:24Like that is not good
20:25What kind of a fucking idiot chugs coitus
20:27Homer
20:29No, you're right
20:30You're right
20:31Sorry, I'll just
20:32But listen, Homer
20:33That being said
20:36My Wi-Fi's been on the fritz
20:39So call your cable company
20:41No, I think it's a Homer problem
20:44My garage has a futon
20:45I mean, Dewey sleeps out there too
20:47Hums in his sleep
20:49It might match the same frequency as the fridge
20:51You troubleshoot my Wi-Fi network
20:53I'll float you a few bucks
20:55And as soon as we need manpower
20:56You're back on my crew
21:01So you got a bunker?
21:03Yeah, but
21:03It's mostly just for our
21:05Winter clothes and Christmas decorations
21:27Hmm
21:35Hmm
21:53Shit
21:58Ow
21:59Oh my god
22:00Are you fucking kidding me?
22:02Sorry
22:03Todd is still up
22:05No, he's not
22:05He's living on the couch
22:07Look
22:08I made these for you myself
22:10What are those?
22:11They're handcrafted and beautiful
22:13Like you
22:14I made them out of
22:16Beer tabs of deer teeth
22:18You can call them
22:20Beer rings or
22:21Deerings, whatever you want
22:23Reggie, you really shouldn't be here
22:24You don't fucking listen
22:26I listened
22:28I just didn't agree
22:36Dewey?
22:37Oh
22:38Fucking solid
22:39Are you on our side now?
22:42I do worm
22:43Thanks, blood
22:44After you, Romeo
22:53Oh, yeah
22:56What'd you have, nachos?
22:58Close
22:58Tacos
22:59That'll teach you
23:00Don't ever blackmail me again
23:02I definitely got pink eye in my future
23:05It's better than two black eyes
23:06Coming in
23:08Took you long enough
23:09Easy does it
23:09Nope, nope, okay
23:11Watch it
23:13Wonder what Todd's up to
23:23Warjack
23:25It's better
23:25Warjack
23:25Warjack
23:27Wargo
23:33Player
23:42Building
23:43Quantumני
23:45But I'm not ready to go, I'm not ready to go, I'm not ready to go, I'm not ready to
24:06go, I'm not ready to go, I'm not ready to go.
24:15I'm not ready to go
24:19Even if you think I'm crazy
24:23Trunk is down
24:26I don't want to be
24:31Messed up alone
24:35There's nothing wrong here
24:38There's nothing wrong here
24:45There's nothing wrong here
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