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00:00hey it's meltdown here with my friend craig gas and he is uh gonna be in town this week
00:03at one night stands we'll talk about that and waterford but he's been here for actually a few
00:09days because he came in and saw sebastian bach at district 142 man that was awesome it was great
00:14and then sebastian i hit him up for tickets yeah like hey can i come to the show and he
00:19said dude
00:19come on stage do something on stage man and i was like all right and his idea was he runs
00:28a video
00:28of me in his music video right for what do i got to lose where i'm walking through the desert
00:33doing
00:33an impression of him before he pulls up in a car and says get in the car and we go
00:37party hysterical
00:38by the way yeah uh it was his idea to do that thing and he said let's do something like
00:43that before i
00:44go on stage and um and then uh but he also wanted you to introduce him and i said how
00:50about i go out
00:50and do some stand-up and then i'll introduce meltdown meltdown introduces you and he's like
00:54love it let's do it yeah and i said okay just so you know and i just said one sentence
00:59i'm just
01:00gonna go on stage and pretend that i work for you and he was like cool and he didn't watch
01:05anything
01:05that i did which fucked his whole show up dude that was the funniest that was the funniest part
01:10about it because uh for people that weren't there you told the crowd that he's gonna introduce each
01:16member of the band like for example his son paris you know his birthday you know and right so backing
01:20up a little bit i walked out on stage and this is how i've opened for metallica this is how
01:24i've
01:24opened for system of down pantera motley crew alice and chains the struts etc etc as i go out on
01:31stage and i say good evening my name's craig i'm the band's tour manager and everybody cheers yeah right
01:39and i go the band has asked me to make some very important announcements and you can hear a pin
01:45drop
01:45like what's these announcements and then i i start making up shit right and everything i say
01:50is really cool but also bullshit right and it's just so i can fill in the gaps with some jokes
01:58and like one of the announcements is always you may have heard some rumors and it's true
02:04we are recording our first ever live album right here yeah so i need your attention i need your
02:12attention there's a proper way to yell on a live album so we need to rehearse this and they follow
02:19every dumb instruction i give them well the best part about it was that the band was was backstage
02:24they were listening to you yeah but sebastian was doing his warm-ups right he's still upstairs
02:28stretching and warming up his vocals yeah he had no idea so so then you're telling everybody that it's
02:33it's his son's birthday yeah i know it's his birthday so when it's when they say please welcome on
02:37the drums yeah my son paris you gotta yell happy birthday because we're recording it right we're
02:43recording like and then the one that fucked him up was i said over here on stage left is bruiser
02:49brody
02:50his guitar player um and one thing you need to know about bruiser brody this guy has the biggest dick
02:56i've ever seen in my life this guy's dick is so it has an elbow in it his dick has
03:01a watch on the end
03:02of it like it was all these like crazy stories about how big his penis is and i said so
03:05it's really
03:06important that we capture this during this live recording when he says on the guitar please welcome
03:12bruiser brody you all need to yell show us your dick all right now let's rehearse it and they rehearsed
03:18it and then i said and then when it's the drummer you say happy birthday and then and everyone had
03:23a
03:23special announcement and it blew me away that sebastian shows up and goes how was it and i go oh
03:29you
03:29didn't see it and he goes no and then he goes out on stage and then two songs into the
03:34set he goes
03:34i want to introduce a very special person on guitar and he almost the way i said he was going
03:42to say it he says please welcome bruiser brody and the whole room goes show us your dick and he
03:50goes
03:50what it was like it was just it was classic it was it was great because he didn't hear any
03:58of it
03:59yeah then he then he you know he he welcomes his son and everyone says happy birthday he's like
04:03it's not his birthday
04:07yeah i mean every fucking announcement that works to a t oh well you know how this all started i
04:15have
04:15to give you the backstory but i i don't know if you know this story but i think you'll love
04:19this story
04:20the first big band that i got to open for was metallica and that's how this whole thing starts
04:2620 something years ago and the way i got the gig with metallica was the result of a prank phone
04:35call
04:35do you know that story the prank phone call i made to lars uh no but go ahead so i
04:40was working on the
04:41howard stern show at k-rock at the time so this would have been uh 2001 2002 ish and our
04:50midday oh no
04:51this is after that because our midday guy woody ended up going to st louis and he's now doing
04:57afternoons to st louis now he's doing a morning show in la but woody was doing middays at this rock
05:03station in st louis and he said dude next time you come to st louis you could just come on
05:07a show and
05:08just hang out the whole show um and so when i got into st louis i uh my first day
05:15in i get my rental car
05:16and i start driving to the radio station and i found woody's radio show on the on the dial
05:21and i couldn't believe i was blown away he has lars ulrich on the phone live and so he's keeping
05:28lars on the phone because he knows this is a big deal so he's he's got lars ulrich on the
05:34phone and
05:35he's not playing any songs he's not playing any commercials and he's got no delay and every fifth
05:42or sixth word coming out of lars's mouth is a doozy yeah and then um i'm driving and i can't
05:49believe that this is just going on and it's like 20 30 minutes of this and then i get to
05:54the radio
05:54station he's still on the air i walk in the building he's still on the air the receptionist
05:59finally grabs me and takes me upstairs to the to the studio he's still on the air i walk in
06:04the
06:04studio i look at my buddy woody and i go dude am i am i coming on he goes i
06:08can't i can't get rid of
06:10i don't know and he goes he goes here just just grab a seat over here and he goes let
06:13me just uh
06:14lars let me just can't yeah nope that is cool that that's very cool lars let me just interrupt
06:22you for one second okay for those of you just joining the broadcast we have lars ulrich on the
06:27phone from his house in san francisco and lars you're not going to believe this but and he starts
06:31pointing at me to point me to a microphone he goes and i was like no no and he goes
06:34we have a couple
06:35special guests that want to say hello to you paul stanley and gene simmons are in the studio right
06:41now and they wanted to say hi and lars goes is that really paul stanley gene simmons from kiss and
06:49he
06:49goes yeah guys say hi hey lars this is paul stanley and this is gene simmons from kiss and i'm
06:57gonna get
06:57right to the point lars a lot of people steal from kiss you know it i know it everybody knows
07:03this but
07:04on the new metallica record it was saint anger yeah it's a new record no one sold anything out
07:09there by the way but go ahead i think you've gone a little too far on the new album and
07:13i'll give you
07:14a perfect example i want you to name one original song on the new album saint anger and lars goes
07:23i think all the songs are pretty original and i said right but if you had to pick one song
07:29what would
07:29it be i guess if i had to pick one song it'd probably be and he gave me a song
07:34title and i said
07:35that's a great song lars but i'm gonna be honest i liked it a lot better the first time i
07:41heard it
07:41when it was called beth and he said how the fuck do you hear beth in the middle of a
07:47metallica song
07:48it doesn't even make any sense and he started arguing with a fake paul stanley and a fake gene
07:53simmons and then uh at some point my buddy the radio buddy jumps in and goes hey guys guys stop
07:59stop fighting for one second lars can i just uh just poke in here for one second we have a
08:03talk
08:04radio station next door to the rock station here in the same building and they have a movie critic
08:09that comes in every friday who does movie reviews and he has real movie stars to come in and talk
08:13about movie releases that are coming out he has christopher walken in the studio do you mind if
08:19christopher walken comes in he wants to say hello to you is that really christopher walken it is hey
08:24lars it's christopher walken i love metallica because i love cocaine i love cocaine and he starts
08:35having a conversation with a fake uh christopher walken while a fake paul stanley and a fake gene
08:41simmons keeps trying to pick a fight with him at some point i started chiming in as uh phil and
08:45sammo
08:46for some reason and going hey lars check it out and then finally my buddy goes hey guys guys i
08:52need
08:52to sign for one second lars uh you're not gonna believe this the comedian sam kennison just walked
08:57in the studio and i go hey lars i don't know if you remember this but um but i did
09:02a lot of cocaine
09:03with you that you stole back in 1985 oh there's a long pause and lars olrich goes didn't that guy
09:13die
09:13like 30 years ago we go yeah it's really weird and uh and then finally my buddy woody jumps in
09:19and goes hey lars i'm sorry i have to stop all this right now lars we were just having some
09:24fun
09:24with you this is a comedian friend of mine named craig gas he's on the howard stern show blah blah
09:29blah and lars goes dude are you gonna be in st louis when we get there and i said no
09:34i don't live
09:34in st louis i live in new york so i will not be here and he said well dude next
09:37time you come to
09:38a metallica show i'd love to hang out with you and i was like i'd love to hang out with
09:43you too
09:43dude i fucking love you lars and i thought that was it and it was over a week later i'm
09:49back home
09:49in new york gary our producer walks up to me and goes hey so i got a really funny story
09:55for you
09:55uh apparently one of the guys in metallica is trying to get a hold of it and he wants you
10:00to call a guy
10:00from electro records and he needed to call his phone number and he gave me a phone number for this
10:04guy
10:04who i called up and i said uh or the guy said to me i don't know who you are
10:08but lars ulrich wanted
10:11me to reach out to you because um he we're doing a promotion for the new album saint anger where
10:16we're
10:16going to take over a rock radio station in denver called kbpi and we're going to syndicate this to 20
10:23different markets around the country and i guess you do impressions and lars wants you to co-host
10:29the show with him and i ended up co-hosting the show um a couple weeks later in denver and
10:35then
10:35uh lars gives me a laminate lars doesn't give me a laminate he gives me his laminate to go to
10:43the
10:43metallica show the next time at the football stadium and which is where this legendary moment happened i
10:48think you know about my background and about my family oh yeah yeah yeah my whole yeah i want to
10:54get
10:54into that yeah my whole family's deaf the short version is that my whole family my mom my dad my
10:58sister are all completely deaf that's why i've been able to do impressions because i had to learn
11:02how to talk right by watching tv and i copied all the voices i heard on tv so we walk
11:07in i walk into
11:08the stadium lars's assistant grabs me and says hey lars wants to say hi to you and introduce you to
11:13the
11:13rest of the guys i go into this locker room lars brings me in the other three members of metallica
11:19sitting at a table and lars already says hey man this is craig this is the guy does all the
11:26voices
11:26and check it out his whole family is retarded i go they're not retarded they're they're deaf
11:33my family's deaf they're not retarded like it was like yeah he kind of messed it up a little bit
11:38over there but but you know well intended but that um leads to um uh me calling lars when they
11:47announced they were going to do a special show in new york city at the bowery ballroom right after
11:52the video music awards i think in 2002 and they said the only way to get tickets it only holds
11:57a
11:57thousand people you can only win tickets you can't buy them and to get the tickets you have to go
12:02through the metallica fan club or my radio station k rock to win tickets and i called lars and left
12:09him
12:09a message and said if metallica had any balls you would let a comedian open for you when you get
12:15to
12:16new york and he called i still have the voicemail by the way i'm sure do you ever save messages
12:20from
12:20people oh yeah yeah yeah i got a short message on my voicemail boop hey man this is lars oh
12:26yeah i
12:27just talked to james and kirk and some of the other guys and yeah come down do a couple 15
12:3420 minutes
12:35whatever it is you do and let's have some fun huh and uh and i go down to the venue
12:41and then it hits
12:42me when i get there everyone here's on coke what am i doing like why am i trying to do
12:47stand-up and i got
12:48really scared and instead of doing a stand-up set i walked out on stage and said good evening my
12:53name
12:53is craig and i am metallica's tour manager and the instantaneous respect and attention that i got from
13:00that allowed me to tell jokes and i've repeated it and kind of like molded it every show every time
13:08i
13:08got asked to do it and allison chains brought me out for a full tour to do that so yeah
13:12man that's how
13:13that whole thing started so that's awesome with the allison chains too and it's funny because when we
13:16were walking in here you just said you kind of said to me man can you believe that we get
13:21to like
13:21do this every day i've been doing this for 36 years living in this rock and roll world it is
13:27kind of
13:27insane yeah like like this weird moment happens the other day when you go i go yeah man i'm coming
13:32down to the sebastian you go dude i'll be at the show well you know let me know let's meet
13:35up there
13:36and um i'm on my way there and you go i got an all access for you and i was
13:40like no shit and then
13:41the tour manager's like yeah i got an all access but i go like oh man i got one you
13:44got one like right
13:45and i was like how cool is it that we've gotten to a place where we're allowed in like you
13:52know
13:52because for so long you love this music yeah and you want to get close to it and for so
13:58long it's
13:59like how do i how do i like i wanted to be in the music business but i have no
14:03talent yeah that damn
14:05next two of us right like i can't play any right i didn't but uh and i ended up like
14:10i started out
14:11managing bands when i was a kid when i was like 15 i used to book and promote concerts from
14:14the time i
14:15was 15 till i was 23 i started doing stand-up at 23 and that's when i realized oh this
14:19is what i
14:20want to do i really want to be on stage i don't have any talent but i'd like to be
14:23on stage and try
14:24to be funny and then being funny led to my relationships with all my favorite bands because
14:30every band is loaded with goofballs yeah they're all they're all goofy and silly someone told me i'm
14:38trying to remember who it was uh someone told me that sean kinney's a really funny dude and um
14:43yeah and i was i was just i was just about to say the one band yeah that has some
14:47of the most
14:48serious moodiest music but is loaded with the four goofiest fucking people i've ever met in my life
14:55is alice and chains sean kinney is a total cornball we're actually doing a show together in about two
15:02weeks i'm hosting a charity event with some of the guys in alice and chains and nancy wilson from
15:06cards can perform at it's up in seattle at the moore theater yeah and two of the guys from uh
15:11shinedown are gonna perform there too um yeah i was i was talking to somebody and i said that this
15:16was a couple years back and i said i'm gonna go see elsa chains there and whoever i was talking
15:19to
15:19said make sure you tell sean kinney i said hello he is the funniest dude that's i think the only
15:24time
15:24i've ever met him and i walked up and i said hey so-and-so said hello and oh man
15:28i love that
15:28whoever it was i can't remember yeah he's a totally uh totally goofy guy uh jerry uh who's
15:34a quiet guy yeah has a secret like comedian inside of him where his outgoing voicemail messages he will
15:40work for hours at a time creating sound effects and saying you've reached bob's big barn uh junkyard
15:49leave a mess and you hear all these weird sounds in the background it's like we got lots we got
15:53uh
15:54uh cars we got metal parts we got you know whatever whatever you need we got your stuff at
15:59at the junkyard and and uh and then mike inez is like um i remember hanging out with mike and
16:05his wife
16:05sydney and uh the beginning of the conversation was uh him mentioning you know uh sydney's having a
16:12bad day she's on her period and i was like oh i'm sorry to hear that and i said uh
16:15hey next week uh
16:17uh do you guys want to get together and go to that new movie that's coming out and he goes
16:21well i do but uh i can catch up pants over here and i went what
16:27it's like and she just kind of yeah and i was like catch up what the yeah yeah that's a
16:34that's
16:34a new one i've never heard you know it's funny uh you know it's funny i don't think i could
16:39change
16:40my outgoing voicemail if i tried i don't even know what it says to be honest i've never i haven't
16:44changed it in years really well who's on your outgoing vest is it just you saying just me saying
16:47ain't leaving a message i don't nobody calls anybody anymore i will um i've done a bunch of
16:52voicemails for people i'll do them at my shows like hey if you want me to do the voicemail message
16:56i'll i'll do it for a fee and and then sometimes i'll call people up and i'll forget and i'll
17:02be
17:02like holy shit how'd you get morgan freeman to do this and i'll be like oh shit is that me
17:06doing
17:06morgan freeman no way like dude there was one time i got a i got it was like nine o
17:12'clock in the
17:13morning i just woken up my phone's vibrating i look it's paul stanley i haven't talked to paul
17:19stanley in years and i'm assuming he's got to be mad about something why is he calling me at nine
17:25o'clock in the morning i don't pick up 9 10 paul stanley starts calling i go oh shit and
17:33i start
17:34pacing and i just start rehearsing paul that was a long time ago i've changed a lot like i'm going
17:42through this like how am i gonna you know calls a third time and i'm like holy fuck and then
17:47he
17:47sends me a text hey i'm trying to call you it's paul stanley oh my god and within 20 minutes
17:53the
17:54phone rings for a fourth time and i pick up and i go hello and he goes hey craig it's
17:58paul stanley
17:59and i go hey man what's going on and he goes not much how are you and i go doing
18:06good doing good
18:07doing good what's what's going on what's going on and he goes you know i was hanging out with a
18:12friend of mine and he has morgan freeman got to do his voicemail and it's so funny and i just
18:20started
18:20thinking you know you do so many great impressions i just wanted to know if maybe you could do like
18:25an al pacino something on my voicemail and i go okay and he's like we would you do that and
18:31i go
18:33paul that's how i spend all my free time yeah like what do you want me to do and he
18:37goes you
18:37know just something like scent of a woman or something i was like yeah all right cool and i
18:41was like fuck that's so i i very quickly i do a quick thing where i just said hi this
18:50is al pacino
18:52you've reached the star child's voicemail leave a message and don't ramble on and on because i know
19:00where you live i'm coming to your house and i'm taking a flamethrower to that motherfucker
19:07and i i sent it and i with a little note and i said let me know if you have
19:11any notes
19:12and he texted me right back and goes yeah i have some notes and i was like what and he
19:16goes why are
19:17you cursing and i said oh is that and he goes yeah don't curse what do you and i go
19:20all right
19:21so i redid it without cursing and he goes that was perfect thank you and i go thank you and
19:28he goes
19:28do you want to perform with kiss on the kiss cruise and i was like i would love to perform
19:31and then i got an offer from the promoter and then boom boom boom how many kiss cruises have you
19:37done
19:37uh this is a funny story it's a sensitive question it's a sensitive question because i've done four
19:45i think but i upset the kiss fans on one of them really you don't know about that dude on
19:52one of the
19:52kiss cruises i think it was the first first or second one i get on and i i'm on the
19:59kiss cruise
20:00and i'm i can't believe as i entered the ship i'm like holy shit and i'm sure you have this
20:06feeling
20:06too when you go to a show it's like i'm friends with these people i'm friends with the management
20:11i'm fairly friendly with the band i'm definitely friendly with the road crew this is incredible
20:18like i'm i'm part of the family on some level here right and then i did something on that cruise
20:25that
20:25oh my god those kiss fans they're called the kiss army i did something that pissed off those kiss fans
20:30they hate me more than gene simmons ever did because uh i um i met a girl who was the
20:36cruise director
20:38um she's really upbeat and pep she's the she's like the julie mccoy right i was gonna say julie
20:43right julie mccoy of the of the kiss cruise and when she meets me she goes oh my god are
20:48you craig
20:49and i said yeah she goes you're craig yeah you're the comedian you're the guy who does all the voices
20:52with like the family guy and the do you want to do a funny announcement on the kiss cruise tomorrow
20:57morning and i went oh fuck yes like well let me ask you a question if i make an announcement
21:05who's gonna hear the announcement and she goes well if you want we can flip a switch and it'll get
21:10piped into every cabin and i went flip that switch i know exactly what i want everyone to wake up
21:18to
21:18tomorrow morning the next morning 3 000 of the biggest kiss fans in the world at sea woke up to
21:25bing bong hey everybody this is paul stanley and this is gene simmons from kiss and we have a very
21:35important announcement do not panic but we have a very important announcement about the kiss cruise
21:41at that moment my friends on the ship said that all the fans on the boat just stopped in their
21:47tracks
21:47and they're looking at the speakers and smiling until the next words that came out of my mouth
21:52we've just hit an iceberg which keep in mind when i said we hit an iceberg we're in the middle
21:59of the
21:59fucking bahamas there's no reason for you as an intelligent person go the ship's going down
22:05the ship's going down we're in the bahamas but do not panic because kiss is going to take care of
22:12everybody we actually have three packages to get you off the ship first we have the platinum package
22:21it's five thousand dollars we'll put you in a life raft and you have your own private photo and
22:27medical care from kiss then we have the diamond package isn't that right paul that's right the
22:34diamond package for ten thousand dollars where we throw you in the ocean with tommy and eric
22:42and then kiss floats by on a rack everything i said was just stupid right and several members of the
22:51kiss army ran to the employees and said so kiss is going to charge us to get off the boat
22:56is that
22:56what's going on they genuinely believe that kiss was capable of charging people to get out of an
23:02emergency which was amazing and really that is so funny says a lot about the fandom you know what i
23:09mean
23:09man hit an iceberg wow in the middle of the caribbean i mean dude these moments you know again
23:16i can't believe it it's like you know right now on this date that we're recording this it just so
23:20happens that gene simmons is on his way here to detroit the same week that i'm here well i think
23:25he's
23:25coming in like three weeks oh is he coming in three weeks yeah like april 9th oh i heard i'm
23:29i'm hearing
23:30from people at rock and brews that he's going to be at the rock and brews thing tomorrow no april
23:369th is
23:37when he's supposed to be he might be there tomorrow i don't know maybe you okay i haven't heard that
23:40yeah but you know uh so that that's what i'm that's what i'm that's what i've heard all right
23:45well we'll see what happens tomorrow yeah and um uh you know which will be interesting there was one
23:50time when like i've never been alone with gene simmons and that's that's intentional yeah i'm scared
23:57like i was in las vegas a few years ago before i got my own place in las vegas
24:02and i tweeted out i'm at the rio hotel joke joke joke looking for an apartment or something to live
24:10at but i'm at the rio hotel someone who works for kiss texted me and said dude are you at
24:16the rio hotel
24:16right now and i said i am what's up buddy and he said i'm downstairs at the kiss mini golf
24:22there's a
24:23very famous kiss miniature golf place inside the rio hotel and he said i'm downstairs with gene
24:30he wants to talk to you and i went and i i didn't respond i was like and then a
24:37comedian friend of
24:38mine from providence calls me up he goes hey bro what are you doing and i go i'm avoiding gene
24:42simmons right now he goes what do you mean you're avoiding gene simmons i go dude i'm in the rio
24:47hotel
24:47i tweeted that i'm at the rio hotel someone who works for gene just texted me and said hey man
24:51come downstairs because there's a famous kiss mini golf place downstairs in the same hotel that i'm at
24:57and he said gene simmons is here he wants to talk to you and i'm afraid to talk to him
25:02and my friend
25:02goes why and i go i've never been alone with him and i'm afraid that he's waiting to be alone
25:08before
25:09he lets me know how he really feels about me and like he's going to kick my ass and my
25:13buddy goes dude
25:14are you kidding me if gene simmons beat the shit out of you at a kiss mini golf do you
25:21know how great
25:22that story would be best story ever right so you get your ass kicked at a kiss mini right and
25:26i was like
25:27you know what you're right i put on my flip-flops i went downstairs and i was ready for my
25:31beating
25:31and instead i just see a smiling gene simmons he's he's hanging out with two guys from another country
25:39who have each paid something like five thousand dollars to just hang out with him for for an
25:43afternoon and i come downstairs and he sees me and he goes oh here we go go ahead and i
25:52went what what
25:53am i and he goes go ahead come on and i go oh you want me to some jokes and
25:57he goes no impressions
25:58come on go go let's go and i go oh hey i'm craig i'm a comedian i do an impression
26:05of him and i start
26:06doing impressions for them and at one point his friends say um how long does it take you to do
26:12like how do you learn how to do that do you practice and i said no it's actually kind of
26:16a
26:16weird story i've always had an ability to do voices because i grew up in a family that's deaf and
26:20they were like is that true and i go in it and before i can finish gene goes it's true
26:25his family's
26:27deaf and he's dumb and i went what you asked me to come down here like what do you like
26:33yeah so
26:34we're in detroit do you do do you ever do the nuge uh i've never tried you know what not
26:39only have i
26:39never tried to do the nuge i could swear does somebody do a nugent impression that i'm i'm not
26:44no i'm not no i'm not really familiar but he has a distinct voice so i thought that maybe okay
26:48tell me a famous sentence that ted nugent says and i will try a ted nugent impression right now
26:54all right it's the wango tango all right okay remember that all right it's the wango tango okay
27:00all right it's the wango tango all right here's my first attempt all right let's see at ted
27:04nugent that dude let's see and keep in mind my ted nugent impression sounds a lot like tracy
27:09morgan here we go okay all right it's the wango okay now that's not even close that's not even
27:15close or maybe it's the onstage paul stanley all right people did they ever tell you about the
27:22the rap that i saw him doing las vegas paul stanley on stage in las vegas goes all right people
27:28now
27:28listen you know i know this town las vegas nevada it's known for its buffets
27:39and i can tell you right now i see a lot of people in the front row that i really
27:43want to eat
27:44and he started fixing his hair and i went the fuck i see the same tour like two months later
27:51in new
27:51york city i bring a bunch of comedians backstage with me steve burn jim norton jeff ross i bring
27:58them all backstage and i'm introducing them to everybody with kiss and anytime an employee of
28:03kiss walks by i go hey did you hear paul in vegas say he was going to eat the front
28:08row
28:09three different guys who work for kiss said yeah did you hear what he said in omaha and i went
28:14what and he goes ask about what happened in omaha just just ask what his stage rap and
28:19and apparently on stage in omaha he goes all right people now listen
28:24you know i know this town omaha nebraska is known for its angus beef and i can tell you right
28:34now
28:34after this show i see a lot of people in the front row that i really want to eat oh
28:39no no he said no i
28:40want to sink my teeth into some meat and the crowd went what and he goes now wait a minute
28:45hold on hold
28:46on you know what i'm talking about i'm talking about a thigh or a rump roast and the crowd went
28:54what and apparently the guitar techs behind the stage were going what's he doing like everybody
28:58was confused i want to eat some meat and i want to sink my teeth into a rump roast yeah
29:03he was trying
29:04to try to get the whole kiss thing going i'm sure yeah hey tell everybody about your show i gotta
29:08i gotta
29:08get out of here man i could stay here all day and talk to you ladies and gentlemen my name
29:12is craig gas
29:13i am a comedian and i am usually funny and i am performing in waterford this weekend thursday
29:20friday saturday at uh what is that one night stand uh 19th to the 21st okay yeah at one night
29:27stands
29:27march 19th to the 21st at one night stands stand is the name of the owner of the club it's
29:33like stand
29:34like like eminem stand right you know yeah so do you eminem what i like i love eminem no do
29:39you do
29:39impersonation oh do an impersonation eminem yes my uh eminem does it sound like tracy morgan it
29:44sounds like that i'm saying i'm the realest im shady that was terrible i'm sorry but uh yeah
29:52one night stands this this weekend so thursday and i i know christina and joe are gonna try to come
29:57down thursday oh yeah yeah oh right on man yeah it's gonna be um uh it's it's always a lot
30:02of fun and
30:03i'm inviting uh detroit people that i've met here over the years i'm inviting um and i feel like an
30:09asshole for saying this i know he's a he's a very famous hockey player but darren mccarty never heard
30:13of him and uh darren mccarty the one thing i always feel like with people in detroit is everyone
30:19everyone that i've met seems to think that darren mccarty would back them all up in a fight like
30:24darren mccarty apparently is that guy you want in a fight yeah of course well he's a legend here yeah
30:30and uh so um there's been some wonderful detroit people i've met over the years so you met dmacc
30:35before uh yes i met him before i do a charity event here in um detroit every year and he's
30:41always uh uh twice now he's he's been a part of it and um we kind of bonded over recovery
30:47because
30:47we're both in recovery and but every time i've talked to him i walk away and people go you know
30:52who that is right you know who that is and i go like dude he's one of the greatest fighters
30:55man
30:56he dude that guy's a legendary red wing and and and so i've heard these stories about him but i
31:00was
31:00never a hockey fan until maybe a few years ago living in vegas and and the vegas golden knights
31:06really kind of uh yeah that's how that's how me and vinnie paul bonded he would text me about a
31:11week
31:11before he died he texted me for like an hour after the uh after the golden knights lost the stanley
31:16cup really yeah because he would just go crazy over he'd text me about hockey i'd say hey man let's
31:20do
31:20an interview about the new record nothing hey did you see a goal last time oh my god could you
31:24believe
31:26wow that's hilarious yeah i'll tell you the longer story but i i i kind of you know i kind
31:32of felt
31:33like i overstepped my bounds at one point in an interview and it's kind of a long story but
31:36i got a at the time i was playing with some of the nhl guys and nick lindstrom was a
31:40legendary player
31:41yeah signed a picture for him to vinnie and blah blah blah blah i had a frame gave it to
31:45him and that
31:45was like that sealed the deal on our friendship no shit yeah so have you ever had a moment where
31:50you
31:50had a phone call and it's blocked and you go hmm hello and it's a famous person uh not a
31:57famous
31:57person but i have had some blocked phone calls and i usually don't answer them so who did you have
32:02um well for me it's it's i don't pick them up anymore because it's either a famous person that
32:07i'm not prepared to talk to or an old coke dealer i used to hang out with and i but
32:12there was one time
32:13i was sitting at a long john silvers of all places and it's a it's a private number and
32:19and i pick up and i go hello and i just worked with this guy on the tv show i
32:23hear hi craig
32:25it's alec baldwin i'm sitting here with andy garcia and we want to hear your al pacino impression
32:31and i was like oh uh uh yeah let me uh get some hush puppies all right yeah yeah what
32:37do you need
32:38and i walked outside and i just i felt so put on the spot that i was like man i
32:42don't you know i
32:43don't want to talk to that person right now and like i got to be in a mindset where i
32:47can handle
32:48talking to somebody and being put on the spot to do impressions and stuff so i i don't like being
32:53put
32:53on the spot so well i'll tell you what um i will definitely get a hold of dmack and we'll
32:57see if
32:58uh he's got a pretty busy schedule but uh i'll get a hold of him and see if we can't
33:02make it to
33:02a show friday or saturday night yeah man yeah man i was gonna hit him up and uh and invite
33:06him out
33:06there's a bunch of really wonderful people i've met in detroit that i was gonna invite out
33:09and um uh let's even get bob to come out to his show yes that's gonna happen too i'm gonna
33:14text him
33:14right now all right i think he'll get a kick out of it because uh i do have you have
33:19a funny story
33:20about a prank call that i made that made its way back to to bob and you're talking about seager
33:24or kid rock
33:25uh kid rock yeah who uh he had a funny reaction to um uh i made a prank call to
33:31um i was at a radio
33:33station in grand rapids michigan and they said hey let's make some prank calls with your impressions
33:38and we called a bunch of people as different celebrities we called uh michael moore the
33:44director who's from michigan and i and we got his voicemail every no one picked up so i ended up
33:50leaving voicemails and for michael moore i said i said hi uh michael it's al pacino i am hoping
34:00that uh uh you can get a hold of a phone number for me for the greatest actor of all
34:08time uh steve
34:09gutenberg police academy one two and four forget about it give me a call and leave me steve's number
34:18who uh beep you know and then uh and then i called i called a bunch of famous michigan people
34:24and then
34:26and then we called uh the bass player for pop evil who's from uh yeah my yeah my friend matt
34:32uh matt uh what's matt's last name oh god now you're putting me on the spot yeah matt my friend
34:38i haven't
34:38seen him in a couple years he's not the bass he's not the band he's not playing bass player anymore
34:41really nice guy really great guy and so i call up matt and i go uh uh boop i'm at
34:49this gene simmons
34:51from kiss i'm looking at my records right now at the kiss army fan club and it seems you haven't
34:58paid your dues for over six years the band owes me 78 and 22 cents you either pay me now
35:06or i'm gonna
35:07make you suck paul stanley's dick and then uh matt dorito matt dorito yeah and years later i am at
35:16a
35:16i'm in minneapolis to do press for some shows and the night i get in much like when i saw
35:21you i i find
35:22out there's a concert it's steel panther i know the guys in steel panther hey man and they always ask
35:27me to go on stage and do something and i find out the opening act is pop evil and uh
35:33i i i knock on
35:34the door for pop evil and someone goes yeah just go in and i go uh okay i open the
35:39door and i go hey
35:40guys uh weird story but my name's craig gas i'm a stand-up comedian and i prank called one of
35:47you
35:48guys a few years ago and matt looks at me and goes are you gene simmons and i go yeah
35:53he goes dude holy
35:55shit and he goes we played the download festival in england he goes we use that as our intro tape
36:05and
36:05i said shut the fuck up and he goes no he goes you said something about suck paul stanley's dick
36:09but
36:09you did it like really loud he goes it's like you leave you pay us or we'll make you suck
36:15paul stanley's
36:17dick and he's like and i go you're fucking kidding me and he said he played it for kid rock
36:25and that
36:25kid rock was like fuck this guy let's call him right now i'm like you know that's funny yeah i'll
36:30see him
36:30soon enough maybe we'll call you yeah all right you will have a great time at the show this this
36:35weekend i'm gonna try to get d-mac out there and i'll see you friday or saturday whenever yeah dude
36:38i'm excited about it fuck yeah to the riff
36:41you
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