My Ex Husband Sliced My Face Open

Unfiltered Stories

Today on Unfiltered Stories, our guest Marietta Kirkendoll shares her story. Marietta married a violent man and endured his abuse for years. Then, one day things escalated and her husband sliced her face open, leaving her with a lot of wounds on her body.    #domesticviolence #abusiverelationships #survivorstories   Thank you for watching Unfiltered Stories! We offer a platform for our guests to speak openly about their life stories and journeys, shedding light on the challenges they faced and the resilience they've shown.   Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.  By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.   🌅 FOLLOW US 🌅  Facebook ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredFB  Tiktok ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredTT  Snapchat ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredSN

Transcript

00:00My name is Marietta Kirkendall. I will be describing my story, how I survived domestic violence.

00:05I met my ex-husband when I was 34. I met him at a wedding. Everything was almost perfect. He

00:12was

00:12a nice gentleman. He said the right words. What great way to meet a person at a church. I thought

00:17it was heaven sent or God sent to meet someone. He felt like he found the right person. At the

00:23time I was single, so I was excited. I was 34. He was actually 19 years older. We met in

00:29June

00:29and we got married and off. Why wait? Some of my family members was telling me to take my time

00:34and

00:35I was like, no, I think I can handle it. We got married and back. That night, a mask just

00:40came

00:40off. He turned into a whole different person that night. He was really angry and I couldn't

00:44understand why that was like one of the red flags that I noticed of aggression. I noticed a lot of

00:50drinking, a lot of cursing, cursing me out like, what you do that for? Why you dance like that?

00:55It was more of aggressiveness, like on special days for me. Birthday, Mother's Day, around

01:01the holidays. As soon as he started drinking, it's almost as if totally different. It was

01:07either hitting me, choking me. It was just out the blue. He'd start an argument and then

01:11just get angry as if he was mad at someone else, but took the anger and aggression out.

01:17He was for our first year anniversary. We went out to eat. My ex-husband, he wanted to gamble. When

01:22he went to gamble,

01:23I left out my room and I was just walking around a cruise. This was my first cruise, so I

01:27was excited.

01:28But when I came back to the room from walking around, just touring the boat, he accused me

01:32of being with someone else. I knew I couldn't trust you. You were a cheater and just started

01:37yelling and cussing at me. He got in my face. He was cussing at me even more. He said, you

01:42ain't

01:42nothing. You know, but you're around here cheating with other men. He hit me again. I blanked out and when

01:48I

01:48woke up, it was crew members at the door. I asked him, is everything okay? And right away,

01:53he pointed to me, to the crew members. Oh, it's her fault. She's around here acting like a hole,

01:58trying to cheat on me while we're here on our anniversary. It was like, it immediately was

02:01blamed on pointing fingers at me like I was a bad person. And the crew members asked me that I

02:07want

02:07to press charges. We were in a whole nother country. And I'm like, like, well, if I press charges,

02:11what happens? They're like, oh, well, he has to stay here and get arrested. I didn't want that.

02:15I didn't want him to be left in another country. They separated us on a cruise. Eventually,

02:20he came back to my room apologizing. I accepted the apology. I dropped all the charges. When we

02:25were exiting the cruise, one of the crew members, I said, make sure you take good care of her.

02:29He should get saved. Don't worry. I will. Every time abuse happened, it was a big apology

02:35with a gift. It was always something expensive to say, hey, sweep that under the rug. I get we're

02:41married. I want this to work out. And that's what I wanted. You know, I said, hey, I want my

02:45family.

02:45I want to leave this cruise. I had already had my daughter to have a kid together. I came home

02:50from

02:50work one day. I had a brand new wedding ring upgraded on the bed, a bottle of champagne and

02:55a I'm sorry card. Moving forward, we went on a trip to Florida to visit my sister. I had my

03:03oldest

03:03daughter in the back seat. He was drinking. It was always a drinking moment. Whenever he got drunk,

03:08he was drinking. We were on the expressway. He started talking crazy to me and he ended up

03:12hitting me while he was driving. My daughter in the back seat, screaming, crying. Don't hit my mom.

03:17He was swerving on the expressway. He said, I'll kill us all. If you don't shut up, I'll kill us

03:22all.

03:22Swerving on the expressway. I finally convinced him to go in the gas station. I asked someone in the gas

03:28station, just call the police. He ended up jumping out the car and running and hiding. Police talked to

03:33both of us. He was a good manipulator. He always made things sound like it was either my fault

03:37or I'm the crazy one. A lot of times he could get people to believe his side of the story.

03:45So the officer said, Hey, you know, you guys are good. I'm like, I guess so. Nothing's going to

03:49happen. Got back in the car. We were at the house. A lot of times, a lot of things happened

03:52at the

03:52house. He choked me. I called the police. I always, you know, I got in the habit of calling the

03:56police.

03:57The police used to come to my house so, so much. They already knew what it was, but it was

04:01always male

04:02cops. I noticed there was always male cops and they always talked to him separately. I don't know

04:07what he would tell these cops, but he's always was let off with a slap on the wrist. And I'll

04:13even

04:13show them videos. Hey, this has happened. This is what he said. Cause I started recording. You know,

04:18you can't really afford to be here by yourself. He told me he's the breadwinner. So are you sure

04:22you want to take him to jail? Then what you and the kids are going to do with it? I'm

04:25like, you know

04:25what? I don't want to be homeless. I don't want to be put out. So you're right. Another incident.

04:29I was taken to jail for defending myself. He punched me. I hit him over the head with the

04:33first object that I could find him over here with a bottle. He was bleeding. The paramedics seen that

04:38have not out of all the police reports I had. They seen him bleeding and they were like, sorry,

04:42Ms. Brown. We have to take you. I'm like me worst day of my life. Cause I also did corrections.

04:48So I

04:48know what jail is like. So it was, it was terrible for me, the innocent person who's been enduring so

04:53much pain to get taken to jail. I was in there for a whole weekend. They banned me from coming

04:58back home.

04:59So I had nowhere to go. They didn't want us to have any contact. I went to go stay with

05:03my mother

05:04who at the time was in a senior citizen building. My ex-husband called the senior citizen building and

05:09put an alert out that I was staying with my mom. Mind you, she couldn't have anybody else staying

05:13with her. She was afraid to be evicted. Luckily, me and my daughter went to a shelter and this month

05:19was the month of December. So, you know, to see so many families get together, it was, you know,

05:24around the holidays and we were there just trying to make it. I kept going back. I didn't make a

05:30lot

05:30of money. I was like, how, how would I survive here? My mother was already here. I just felt like

05:35I had no escape go. I felt like I had to go back up. I was 38 years old. It

05:42was literally three days

05:44after celebrating my 38th birthday. I had just came back in from Texas. I flew to see a best friend,

05:49my ex-husband, said, hey, you spent your 38th birthday with your friend. I want you to spend

05:53your, you know, the rest. Let's celebrate together. I sent the kids away to mama. The whole day was

05:58fine, but I did notice he was doing excessive drinking. I did tell him because I said, you're

06:02on new medications. I said, you need to slow down. You know, you need to not drink so much. Oh,

06:06I didn't

06:06take my medications today, so I'm fine. Went by my neighbor's house. He loved to play cards. He was

06:10playing cards with them and I was talking to the neighbor's wife at the time and he was asking where

06:16I was.

06:16They said, oh, she's in there talking to my wife and like, oh, well, can I go in your house?

06:20No,

06:21they fine. Let the ladies hang out in there. And he was like, okay, would you call my wife and

06:25ask

06:25her to come here? I said, hey, what's going on? Oh, I think we need to leave. We left and

06:29went back

06:29home and he started pacing and he's like, were you in there cheating with a man? And why they didn't

06:34want me to come in there and see you? I'm like, absolutely not. I was like, calm down. I said,

06:39we were

06:39just talking, you know, me and the ladies. Well, I don't think they're good friends for you. That's another thing.

06:43He didn't like me having friends or talking to other people. I don't think they're good friends

06:47for you. And I was like, cool, we can just sit, sit at the house. So, um, got, got changed.

06:53I took a

06:53shower, got in a bed and he started pacing. He started pacing going back and forth and he's just

06:58like, um, I'm just tired of this. I'm like, what are you tired of? Tired of you treating me any

07:02type

07:03of way? I said, listen, all right, it's time for you to leave. I said, cause I don't want to

07:07go through

07:08this again. Five minutes later, I heard the door open back again. Came back in the room,

07:14in my room. I'm laying in the bed. He said, you're jealous of me. I said, I'm not jealous of

07:18you.

07:18I said, I asked you to leave. He said, I should just kill you. I started crying. I said, you

07:22know

07:22what? I said, I'm so sick and tired of you threatening me. I said, do what you need to do.

07:25He choked me while I was laying on the bed. He put his knees, pinned me down while I was

07:31in the bed

07:31and he choked me and he punched me so hard in both sides of my cheek. I wore contact lists.

07:38Both of my contacts lists came out in my mind. I remember seeing him dig in his pocket, pulling

07:44out a blade. So I immediately put my hand up, which still the scar here, my tendon was cut,

07:49which I can barely still bend my right finger. My tendon was cut and then I felt the knife here

07:55on my throat. So I raised out of my bed and that's how it caught me from here all the

08:01way over

08:02to here. I had about 38 stitches in my face. I just stopped trying to fight. I rolled over to

08:07the floor.

08:08I heard him stand over me and said, yeah, that's a lot of blood. You're going to die. I heard

08:12him walk

08:12out the front door. I heard the door close. I immediately got up, ran, had my gun in my

08:18linen closet in my bathroom. I really got my gun and I ran outside and I just started shooting.

08:25I ended up catching him in his left knee and I hid after that. I heard him say, you shot.

08:30Immediately I want to say, hey, are you okay? But my instinct said, no. I ran, I ran around

08:35a neighbor's house. I went to their back door and knocked on their door. They let me in.

08:39They were in shock. They couldn't believe they gave me a towel. Mary, what happened? I'm like,

08:44and they called the ambulance right away and they came. If it wasn't for me having protection,

08:51I probably would have not survived at all. So for me to think fast and to try to protect

08:57myself, that is one of the reasons why. I was transported to Grady Hospital and so was

09:02he. Ditched up, interviewed by the cops. They came in. I had to stay overnight for monitoring.

09:08He was already released. I did later find out that the detective was like, he was behind

09:13that door waiting for you. If you would have came in here, you would have been out of here.

09:16That's not your blood. He had came back to the house and actually broke in the house

09:22through the garage, came back in. I guess took a few things, which didn't matter here. But

09:30eventually they arrested him when he did come back to my house to get, to get whatever he

09:36did. The cops caught him there that night and actually has been in prison since March 18th.

09:43I remember it like it was yesterday. I had literally an angel at the hospital that night.

09:50This doctor particularly, she said she doesn't even work often. She stood by my side the whole

09:55time. She made sure I was fine. She just made sure I was comfortable. She gave me encouraging

09:59words and she was just like, something is telling me not to leave your side. I'm like, oh my gosh.

10:05I don't even remember her name, but the kindness that she showed me. It was almost like waking

10:11up from a nightmare. I really tried to take my life for me. So I just, I don't take life

10:18for granted. So my medical treatment from the hospital, I had hernia stitches in my face.

10:25I had surgery on my tending, my ring finger. I had to go to therapy once a week to just

10:33even

10:33get the motion back in my hand. I had to go to therapy for emotional support, physical

10:39and of course physical for my hand. And I also ended up with a really bad keloid on my face

10:49from the week. So I did get plastic surgery to flatten it out, to flatten it down because

10:57it did bother me a lot. But now it's like my world. I see my scar and I just look

11:02and say,

11:03you survived. A lot of people are read about and they don't. So that did make me the strong

11:09person I am today. By that, my ex-husband did receive 20 years in prison and five years

11:15supervision. So when he does finish up that, that 20 years, he still has supervision after

11:20that. And I was, I was satisfied. And I'm like, I'm still here. Therapy has been tremendous.

11:28I recommend therapy for anyone who's been in any traumatic situation. Don't be embarrassed.

11:36It's okay to cry. It's okay to smile. It's okay to move on because it's not the end of the

11:42story.

11:43The story continues on. So never be afraid to ask for help because that's what help is for.

11:47And I find myself telling my story to, you know, to wherever I'm led to tell it to. And it's

11:53a lot

11:53of people who deal with things in secret and in private because it is embarrassing. And I was that

11:59person. I kept a lot in and it is embarrassing, but don't be embarrassed. Get help. As of now,

12:06I'm 40 years old. I bought my second home. I am a business owner of two great successful businesses.

12:13I am now helping take care of my mom. I'm a mentor and I just have a bright light that

12:20shines

12:20open. We just will continue to spread my positive energy. Whoever is looking for advice, my advice

12:28will be to leave to a safe place immediately. Even if it's a shelter, I was there. I wasn't comfortable,

12:33but I was safe. So to be safe and then sorry is the best advice that I can give you.

12:39Don't forget

12:40about what you're leaving material things. You can revive them. You have one life and it's important

12:45to survive. Focus on surviving. I am grateful to be able to still be here and to share my story

12:52with the world and to know you're not alone because there's some people, a lot of people live in silence.

13:00You're not alone. Speak up, speak out, and it's okay to move on. It may hurt for a little bit

13:07at

13:07the beginning, but when I promise you, once you move on and you heal, you feel incredible. You feel

13:13unstoppable. That is when you break out of your shell and you get to see all the potential that you

13:20actually have. So much, we have so much potential. I'm telling you, like my CPR business is doing

13:25great. Home health is doing great. Like this is like structure.

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