On this episode of Unfiltered Stories, our guest is LaTrena Holden. LaTrena bravely opens up about her childhood experiences growing up with an older sibling who subjected her to mistreatment. She candidly discusses how this difficult upbringing left a lasting impact on her life's journey. LaTrena's powerful story highlights the resilience of the human spirit in overcoming adversity.
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Thank you for watching Unfiltered Stories! We offer a platform for our guests to speak openly about their life stories and journeys, shedding light on the challenges they faced and the resilience they've shown.
Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.
By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.
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#InspirationalStories #BreakingCycles #unfilteredstories
Thank you for watching Unfiltered Stories! We offer a platform for our guests to speak openly about their life stories and journeys, shedding light on the challenges they faced and the resilience they've shown.
Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.
By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.
🌅 FOLLOW US 🌅
Facebook âž® https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredFB
Tiktok âž® https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredTT
Snapchat âž® https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredSN
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NewsTranscript
00:00My name is Latrena Holden and my story is about surviving various types of abuse from sexual,
00:08physical, and mental abuse. My oldest sister, she was the one who initiated the sexual abuse.
00:15When I was around five or six years old, one of my oldest sisters, she started fundling on us
00:20and touching all the members of the family, including myself. It started with just like
00:24simple touching like of certain body parts with the breasts, the private parts. Between five and
00:31eight, it started to get worse and I didn't know what was going on. And she also, not only was
00:38she
00:38sexually abusive, she was physically abusive. When she started like hitting us, punching us in our
00:44head or if she think that we're going to tell our parents, she would threaten us like you better not
00:49tell, you better not say this or else, things like that. She became very, very abusive. She would
00:57take myself to various areas outside of the home, like behind schools, just anywhere, just behind
01:05dumpsters, just to touch because she couldn't do it in the house when my parents were there. But when
01:10my parents would leave, that's when it, you know, she would just go all in on touching and making us
01:17do different sexual acts, basically raping us and assaulting us, making us, like I said,
01:23like suck on her breasts, do oral sex and rub on her. And she'd do the same thing on us,
01:30like do oral sex and things like that on myself and some of my other siblings. And of course,
01:35she would do it one at a time. I wasn't sure if it was right or wrong. But as I
01:39got older,
01:40and she continued to do this, I'd say something's not right here. This is not norm. Eight or nine,
01:46I could have been around that age. And I went to tell my mom about the abuse. And I said,
01:50mom, she's raping us and touching on us. She's freaking on us, mom. And all my siblings,
01:56they were sitting around the tables too. It was like three other ones. We were considered the little
02:00kids. So myself on down, we considered the little kids and we were eating at the table. My mom just
02:06cooked it, everything. And she's like, what did you say? I was like, she's freaking on us. She's
02:11touching us. It's like, I was trying to get my other siblings to join in, but they were like frozen.
02:16And I'm like, say something, say something. And they did finally just like nodded a little bit
02:22more. And my mom told her, you know, she called her. She said, what are you doing to the kids
02:27and
02:28everything? And she's like, nothing. She said, well, Tina said, and that's my nickname, Tina. Tina said,
02:33you're freaking them and doing all kinds of stuff. She said, I'm not that. It'd be as lying. And she
02:39said, don't you touch them kids. Don't you do that anymore. My mom goes, don't you touch them.
02:44I don't know why you trying to touch, touch on the kids. You don't do that. That's not a,
02:49you know, appropriate. She said, I'm not doing that. And then I felt the sensor release
02:53because I told my mom about it. My sister goes upstairs for a second and she comes back down.
02:58Cause I'm looking in the doorway, like, Hey, we're finally free.
03:01She jumps down the stairs and just knocked me out, just flat on the floor. I'm on the floor,
03:07just boo-hoo crying then. And my mom trying to, you know, tell like, don't judge her.
03:11My mom gets upset. Like, get up. She said, you don't do that. And then she said,
03:15the kids are going to stay downstairs now. My dad, you know, was wondering like why we were downstairs
03:21and not upstairs. My mom says she's going to have her stay downstairs. So then my dad's like,
03:27no, they can't stay down here. They can't do that. I don't want, I don't want.
03:30The kids down there, they got, they got beds and everything upstairs. So they don't need to be
03:34down here. My mom never told my dad about the sexual abuse, unfortunately. So my dad
03:41sends us back upstairs without knowing. And my mom knew she could have stopped at any time.
03:46So we got to sit back upstairs to get abused more. So the next few years, the abuse continued,
03:55the physical abuse, the mental abuse, you call us name, hit us, take our food. I mean,
04:01it was just so much type of abuse. I can't even describe it. On top of that, my dad also
04:06was like
04:07very verbally abusive. We're not going to vouch anything. We're not going to do anything.
04:12We're not capable of anything. The sexual and the mental abuse really was the thing that got me the
04:18most. The physical, for some reason, didn't get me as bad. When I was around seven or eight,
04:23my brother started the sexual abuse. And while I was sleeping, he would crawl up underneath this,
04:29you know, put his hands under the sheets and start touching and fondling my private parts. And,
04:38it was just uncomfortable touching my butt. I just rub, hump on me, attempted to, uh,
04:44insert itself into me, but that did not work. I had enough strength to push him. I was like,
04:49you know, I knew that was not right. I just knew none of this was right. But I realized if
04:55I go tell
04:55my mom about the, the sexual abuse, I thought, wow, like I sat around, you know, I said, maybe I
05:02should
05:02tell her again. I had to be about nine to 10. Tell my mom again about the sexual abuse. I
05:08just felt
05:08like I was not supported. Like my sister used to have hot dogs and she used that as a penis
05:14and to
05:15make it to assimilate sex. And I couldn't eat hot dogs for a while. I know it sounds weird, but
05:21I just
05:21couldn't. I was just uncomfortable with them for a while. So she was just assimilating like I'm having
05:26sex with her or she would force us like with the oral sex. We were trying not to like do
05:31the act.
05:31I would just act like I'm doing it. She would force my head or just knock me in my head
05:36if I wouldn't do
05:36it a certain way. Other siblings start touching, but I don't blame the other siblings because I,
05:42they got touched. Do you get what I'm saying? But the older ones I do blame because they were old
05:47enough to know. As a young kid, I was very inherently shy, just very shy, very quiet. I didn't always
05:54open
05:54up my mouth. Just shy, you know, my shoulders up, low self-esteem, just uncomfortable all the time.
06:01We weren't allowed to go over to people's houses. So that was a plus. My father didn't allow us to
06:06go
06:06stay a night at people's houses. We would go visit friends, but we could go in their houses or anything
06:11like that. No sleepovers. So my father was pretty strict on that. And I understand why. Because of,
06:17you know, sexual abuse and stuff like that, but it was happening in our home. And my father
06:22was a pastor and he never told us he loved us, never gave us a hug. That just was not
06:28his character.
06:29The thing that I feel like affected me the most were my grades. I used to go to summer school
06:34almost
06:34every year, almost every year. And nobody asked me what was going on in my household. I was being
06:40abused. I go home, go to school. It was, it was a release in one sense. But at the same
06:45time,
06:45it was not because the bullying started. The bullying, the kids calling me names. So I had
06:51sexual abuse, victim abuse, the physical abuse, and then the bullying. The bullying
06:57just was almost constant from, I'm going to say from third grade on. It was just like really horrid.
07:05High school was just awful. That was the worst time for my bullying. And then I had siblings say like,
07:10oh, you too, you got to go to school. They call me like, oh, that's why you flunk. I did
07:16flunk.
07:17I did skip one grade. Well, put back one grade. But when I was in seventh grade, I got put
07:22back up.
07:23So it was a school that that's a seven and eighth. If you were able to do the school work,
07:27somehow I was able to do the school work because I wanted to get back to my grade.
07:31When I was around 12 years old, I finally decided to stand up for me. I said, no more,
07:37no more to my siblings, no more. My sister tried to force me to do some things that were just
07:43kind
07:44of horrid. She wanted me basically to eat some diamond lines. And I said, no, I will not. No,
07:50she was upset. She was trying to come after me. I went over to the ramp, kind of ran and
07:55hurried over
07:56to the living room where my dad was sitting or close to that area. And, and she was like,
08:02she was trying to get me, but I said, I said, you will not do this anymore. You be sick
08:08of you.
08:10I was crying. I said, you cannot, you will not touch me anymore. I said, you, I said,
08:15dad, she's been raping us. She's been freaking on us. I said, I had enough and I'm crying out that,
08:21but they're like, what's going on? What's going on? And I'm, I'm like, she's been raping us.
08:26She's freaking on us and I'm sick of it. I said, and Junior's doing the same thing too. He's doing
08:32the same thing. I said, he's touching on us. He's trying to rape me. He shouldn't rape the me,
08:38the siblings, everybody. I was like, I'm, I can't do it anymore. I'm sick, dad. I'm tired of this.
08:45You know, I said a couple of curse words and, and my dad stood up and said, no more. My
08:51dad said,
08:51enough. Don't y'all do that to them. Don't you touch them girls. Don't you touch them or the
08:57boys. Don't you touch anybody. We don't do that in this family. And, and I felt liberated.
09:05My brother tried to continue the abuse. He would try to offer me candy, money, anything. And I said,
09:11no, nope. I said, I'm going to tell dad. I'm telling dad. That was it. That was the end of
09:17the
09:17abuse. Like around 12, close to 13. I could have been 13. I'm not sure, but I just know
09:21it was like in that, that age range. I got in some bad relationships and things like that.
09:27And I think after having my daughter, I just, I think that woke me up to being just hyper-focused
09:33on my career. And I kind of like repressed those thoughts. I believe I just kind of repressed them.
09:39Not that I didn't think that they didn't happen. It has always been the back of my head. Why did
09:44it
09:44happen? Why did it happen to me? And how it affected like my social skills, my self-esteem,
09:51my prayer life made the difference in me. When I say praying, I was a praying woman. I used to
09:58pray
09:59like, God, what can we do? Like any glimmer of hope, anything he would give me. I was like,
10:03okay, God, I know that you're still here. You're still here. Or give me the strength to get through
10:09this. As long as you can give me the strength, I keep going. I felt good when I went to
10:15college.
10:15That made the difference. That environment changed. That environment catapulted me to another level.
10:22I got out. I got around like-minded people. I'm going to say that was one of the biggest
10:28turning points in my life, going to a junior college. When I was in high school, I was top of
10:37the game.
10:38I was one of the top in the States with track and field. That was an outlet for me. And
10:43I have to
10:44tell you, that was one of my bigger outlets while I was getting bullied and everything. That was one of
10:49my biggest outlets. And my coach used to say stuff like, you know, these are for dummies. You know,
10:57my grade still wasn't there. Like, these are for dummies and you're not going to be able to do
11:01anything and everything. But yet he let me still keep running track and everything. And on my senior
11:08year, my coach threw all my scholarships away. And most of them was top 10 schools. And I can't tell
11:14you what that feeling was like. I felt hopeless. I thought I was not going to be able to go
11:18anywhere.
11:19My plan was just to move out the house and find any type of job. That was my plan at
11:25college.
11:26But I was at a track meet. Somebody convinced me to go to a junior college and run track. I
11:33said,
11:33run a track at a junior college? I'm on top of the game. So I don't want to do it.
11:36But the person
11:37convinced me. It was a bad situation. It was a guy saying he's a coach. He's like, he do all
11:43this.
11:44But he was a scout and a coach. And that bad situation turned out to be one of the best
11:51situations. He was not really a coach or a scout like he said he was. But he did get me
11:57to go to a
11:58junior college. And when I went to that junior college, I met some of my best friends there,
12:04some good people there. It was Wright Junior College in Chicago, Illinois. That changed my life,
12:10going there, meeting people who wanted to succeed, who wanted to do better, who wanted to do creator.
12:17That changed my life. As of today, I'm an occupational therapist. I have a private practice.
12:23I had this private practice for over 15 years. It'd be 16 years and another month. Also,
12:30I have another business. I have a pie business and I make skincare products. So those are the businesses
12:37that I had. But my occupational therapy business is my pride and joy. Who would have thought somebody
12:45who was told that she couldn't, won't do anything, not capable, not smart enough. But there's a God.
12:54There's a God above who knew what I meant, who knew what I was meant to be before I knew.
13:01And I had to
13:01walk in faith in that. So that's why I am where I'm at today because of God, my prayer life,
13:08reading poems,
13:09reading inspirational. And here I am. My book is called A Successful Dummy. And it chronics like where
13:19where the abuse started, the physical, sexual, and mental abuse. But it also talks about my grades and
13:27why they were so low and why I was not able to do better. I didn't know how to do
13:33better. Nobody
13:34never pushed me to do better. So I had to learn to depend on God or poems or writers, writing.
13:41A few
13:42people came in my life that made a difference that they did that pushed me, you know, to get off
13:48that
13:48edge of wanting to just give up. I know that without a shadow of a doubt, I was letting him.
13:53I felt like
13:54nobody stood up for me. And I wish I had a hero to stand up for me. As I, as
14:01I got older, I did develop
14:03a better relationship with my dad. And he finally said, I'm proud. So that little piece, I would
14:11suggest that for anyone, if you had any trauma in your life, get the help. Any help, whether it's with
14:19your pastor. And I did talk to my pastor about it or counselor, there's something wrong with it.
14:24There is nothing wrong with help, because that's how you're going to get to your next level.
14:30Or talk to somebody, get a coach, counseling, coaching, talk to your pastor. We need it.
14:36We need it. And sometimes we just need an apology, sometimes from the people who hurt us. But most
14:42people don't get that. But when you get it, receive it and let yourself be free.
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