How To Survive A Cult - India's NXIVM Escape Story - video Dailymotion

Unfiltered Stories

In today's episode of Unfiltered Stories, we are speaking with India Oxenberg. She survived the NXIVM cult for over 7 years and is speaking with us today about her experience and how she managed to stay strong and escape after years of treatment to break her.   #UnfilteredStories #NXIVM #Cult   Thank you for watching Unfiltered Stories! We offer a platform for our guests to speak openly about their life stories and journeys, shedding light on the challenges they faced and the resilience they've shown.   Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.  By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.   🌅 FOLLOW US 🌅  Facebook ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredFB  Tiktok ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredTT  Snapchat ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredSN

Transcript

00:00Hi, my name is India Oxenberg. I survived the NXIVM cult for seven years and I am a victim of

00:05sexual

00:06violence. So NXIVM was started by Keith Ranieri who is a self-proclaimed genius and entrepreneur

00:14who has a track record of many failed businesses and also disgruntled employees and rape victims.

00:21He is now in prison for 120 years on you know a number of charges. I was very close with

00:29my

00:29mother because it was just her and I for the first seven years of my life. I grew up in

00:34Beverly

00:34Hills, Malibu. I went to high school. I was graduating when I was 18 and I ended up going

00:39to school in Boston. I didn't know what the hell I wanted to do but I gave college a shot

00:44and I

00:45decided I didn't like it at the time and I ended up going back to LA but I didn't have

00:50any direction

00:51and so I ended up actually at an intro presentation for NXIVM and my mom and I ended up going

00:58together

00:59and that was when I was 19 and I had just come back from this year in college. And so

01:04I was

01:04looking for direction and I was looking for instruction. I was looking for something to kind

01:09of like guide me to my next step and it was just kind of like right place right time in

01:16my mind

01:17because everything that they were saying in the intro presentation was things that I thought that I

01:22needed. So at that point in the presentation they instructed us to put down deposits to hold our

01:29places. I mean another red flag like any kind of hard sales pitch you should really just like take

01:34a step back. After the intro presentation I was really taken by the pitch that they had and my mom

01:41who had come to the intro with me was a little less enthralled but I turned to her during that

01:49time

01:49and I was like mom I want to do this and I want to do this with you this is

01:54for me I literally said

01:55that this is for me. And my mom being in utter shock because I was so indecisive at the time

02:02my 19

02:03year old self was jumping all over the place she was like okay like if you're this decisive like maybe

02:09we should do this I was like well it could be a bonding experience for us like I literally was

02:14looking

02:14at it from that perspective I was going to go in take five days like a five-day retreat with

02:19my mom

02:19you know get in get out little did I know that that was going to be like the beginning to

02:24the

02:24biggest decision of my whole freaking life. At the time we're putting down a deposit like it just like

02:31didn't it just seemed so innocent like we just could not see that the red flags were really right in

02:36front of us and we ended up taking a five-day course together in Venice. The truth is I freaking

02:42love to learn and I love to talk and I love to you know explore and get curious about different

02:49topics and that was the entire five days were just us exploring different topics on the surface but what

02:55I didn't realize was what they were doing underneath which was the indoctrination and the coercive aspect

03:01which is you know the first steps to brainwashing which is changing somebody's definitions about words

03:09that they feel about certain things which at the time also seemed very innocent because it was just

03:15like oh we're just exploring ideas my mom wasn't having it. After the five-day class I didn't think

03:21about doing more until they started to push that there were there was more that was the the sales

03:27approach was get them on this big high so that they're like loving life and that they're feeling good

03:34and then throw them the rest of the programs and see what sticks and see what we can pressure people

03:39into buying. I think what I think what really was sticking for me was I was feeling like I was

03:44a part

03:44of something bigger than me like I was feeling like the group of people that I had just met and

03:50just done

03:51this like kind of intense five-day experience with were peers almost and it was this closeness that they had

04:00facilitated that made my guard drop and also just made me think like well maybe this is right for me

04:08like these people all seem to like me they're encouraging me to do more they see something in me

04:14I mean like all of this now is a red flag to me because people who you know are super

04:21charismatic

04:22and you know all over you and just like praising you can often be manipulative people so then I

04:30ended up signing up for more courses because I thought that was going to be my way to acquire the

04:36skills that they were saying I was going to acquire and even at the time they were selling it as

04:40like

04:40this is a practical MBA and I was like well I mean I need executive skills so if that's what

04:47you're

04:47saying this is then I'll keep going and then they started to put a lot of pressure on me to

04:52become

04:53a coach the last effing thing I want to do is be a coach I was like no but they

05:00kept telling me like

05:01no you don't understand the coaching path is the way that you're going to build the skills and the tools

05:06that you need to be an entrepreneur you must be a good follower in order to be a good leader

05:11and they

05:11had all of these like you know taglines which actually are logical of course you have to be a

05:17good follower to be a good leader but I didn't know that I was being led to be a follower

05:22of a sociopath

05:23manipulative people are not original they are predictable and they're very good at identifying

05:31other people's vulnerabilities during during that time distance was building between me and my family

05:38and all my friends to be honest like the the only friends that I had at that time were people

05:44within

05:44nexium and so I was drifting away from my family and and I was becoming noticeably different to them

05:51like I was less myself the day-to-day that I had while living in California was really focused on

05:58me

05:58doing work for nexium for free like indentured servitude and then that was the first like five years

06:07of nexium where I was kind of living two different lives where I was involved in all things related

06:14to nexium they were trying to have me recruit all the time which was really a lot of pressure on

06:19me

06:20and then when I was recruited into DOS by Alison Mack which was the cult within the cult that was

06:28much

06:28more nefarious Alison Mack started recruiting me into DOS around 2015 and what she pitched me was like

06:40executive customized coaching for women with women and she also said that it was gonna push me past my

06:50comfort zone and that it was gonna give me the extra push that I needed for my growth and at

06:57the time I was

06:58in a very vulnerable place so you know I had been in nexium for about five years I hadn't grown

07:03and I

07:04was thinking that that was entirely my fault not that they were keeping me there for a reason so when

07:10she approached me I was really open to her suggestions and she said you know I've joined this group it's

07:17really secret it's just women coaching women I think it would really help you DOS itself was different

07:25for everyone my specific group of women that I was with were particularly targeted by Keith because

07:32we were on the younger side and we also were like we looked the way that he was attracted to

07:39women and

07:40we didn't know that he was involved in this group whatsoever we thought that this was an exclusively

07:46female oriented group so when we started to get assignments that required us to for instance me I was

07:54required to seduce Keith and you know the series seduced really goes deep into just like the

08:01psychology of what that was like for me at the time and what I was being told versus what was

08:06actually

08:06happening behind the scenes which was that Keith was orchestrating all of this and instructing Alison to do

08:14pretty aggressive things with us like including penances calorie restriction extensive dieting

08:23and also sleep deprivation physical challenges like you know having to take cold showers walk in the snow

08:31you name it like whatever they thought that you needed in order to break you down they would

08:37give to you as an assignment so it's really a process of dehumanizing and also creating a broken person who

08:46is

08:47very obedient so I had definitely met Keith prior to being enrolled into dos and I was always really

08:55intimidated by him because they had built him up on this pedestal of like being the smartest man in the

09:00world and like people would wait around to ask him questions and I thought it was weird even then

09:07because I didn't come to ESP or NXIVM for Keith like I came for myself it just happened to be

09:13that they

09:14were obsessed with this guy and my mind actually started to change over the years and my feelings

09:21about him started to change because of the group think so I had met him a couple times I didn't

09:26like

09:26him that much I didn't feel very comfortable around him but I thought that that was my own problem

09:31so when I did eventually start to actively have to reach out to him because of the assignment that

09:37I was given from Allison I felt really weird and I was like oh I don't want this guy to

09:42think that

09:42I'm interested in him because it also he was like the superior and so it was a forced unorganic intimacy

09:50that also led into you know repeated sexual assaults that I was being told at the time were not sexual

10:00that's like the beginning of a lot of gaslighting around you know sexual violence and and rape and like

10:07how we were not allowed to even communicate with anybody what happened when we were with Keith at

10:13the time when I was in DOS I felt like I was living a double life even within NXIVM because

10:18nobody within

10:18NXIVM even knew DOS existed so we had to operate in a whole world of secrecy and lies and it

10:26was so hard

10:27the inner circle of DOS was really tight it was it started with seven women and then from that seven

10:34it expanded to about a hundred very quickly and yes it was all women because that's who Keith

10:41preyed upon and this was really for his own satisfaction and greed DOS got progressively worse

10:47as they started to build a curriculum around us so it was kind of like a human science experiment where

10:54they were practicing different protocols and practices on the individuals who are within it specifically my

11:01group of women whether it was food deprivation or sleep deprivation and also just kind of like

11:08restriction restrictions of all pleasure and then I guess the apex of when it really got bad was when

11:15they started branding women and the branding was something that was also something we had no choice to

11:22do basically we were instructed to get branded at Allison Mack's house and it was incredibly scary and

11:30we didn't have a choice to say no so I was like I was laying down on a massage table

11:36and then we had

11:38the other women who are in my group in the room and that took about like a little over 30

11:44minutes

11:44it was it took a long time because they had to go over and over and over on the skin

11:50it was done with a

11:51cauterizing pen there no numbing cream no anesthesia no nothing like we literally just had to grin and bear it

11:58and and like that scar took months to heal and it was done on our hip which is a very

12:04like sensitive

12:04kind of nerve ending area of the body and we were told at the time that the symbol that we

12:11were getting

12:11branded with was the symbol of the elements when in reality what we learned much later was that it was

12:18actually keith ranieri's initials this is a particular strategy that a lot of groups or even

12:25pimps do with prostitutes where it's like you brand them you mark them it's it's a process of ownership

12:33it's dehumanizing it's incredibly painful it gets you into a dissociated state it's all strategy it's all

12:40thought about it's all manipulation and it's all in order to take you to the next level and that

12:47is when my mom actually entered the picture and she heard from nexium people who had left the group

12:56that something bad was going on in nexium and it was because of the branding that people started to

13:02leave the information about dos and the branding leaked into the community and then started to

13:07leak into the mainstream media and that's when my mom really started to push all of the news about

13:14nexium and the horrible things that the cult was doing i was so under their influence and i was so

13:20brainwashed i wanted to believe so badly that what we were doing was good that they convinced me and i

13:26convinced myself and so it took extensive amounts of deprogramming and all sorts of different therapies in

13:35order to get my mind back to my own mind again it was so hard to even question because questioning

13:43was

13:43not an option if you questioned you would get punished so how many times do you have to learn

13:48that before you just stop questioning what i didn't know at the time was i didn't know about grooming i

13:53didn't know about indoctrination and how palpable it is and how it can affect your brain i didn't know about

14:00trauma i didn't know about predatory alienation all these things that like once you know this

14:08information you're so much more well equipped because you're able to identify things even when

14:14the negative press was coming out about nexium and the cult i was still defending the cult i was still

14:22feeling very loyal to the cult because they had turned me against my own mom and they had made my

14:28mother

14:28like enemy number one so they were putting me up against my own mother which felt horrible there

14:34was periods of time where i didn't even talk to my mom for like nine months that is not the

14:39type of

14:39relationship that i have with my mother but i wasn't ready to leave and i like i i dug my

14:44heels in and

14:45i've talked to my mom about this a lot obviously since then and she was like it was like we

14:50were

14:50speaking two different languages i ended up leaving albany and going to new york city when everyone

14:57started leaving albany and dispersing and i was still there and i was like what am i still doing

15:02here i was like i think i'm gonna go look for work in new york to see if i can

15:06get hired but even at

15:07that point media stuff was still coming out about me like calling me a sex slave calling me a branded

15:12sex slave and so when i went to go and apply to jobs i didn't get a lot of responses

15:18one because i

15:19had been in a cult for seven years and my resume was jack at that time and two because every

15:24time they

15:25would google me they would be like uh no and i remember thinking i wonder if i'm gonna have to

15:31like run away to the mountains and change my name and like completely you know start a new life because

15:36i just didn't see how i was gonna recover from it at the time it was humiliating it was like

15:41having

15:41everyone in your underwear drawer looking at like the biggest mistake of your life and they all

15:47have opinions about it and they all think they know the real truth about it so i was feeling a

15:53lot of

15:53despair and then finally i got a job managing a cafe in the east village i just didn't want to

16:02think about the show that was my life at that time because everything that i had ever known including

16:07my family life and my public image was just imploding after nine months of not speaking to my mom

16:14i started to slowly crawl out of you know this iceberg that was around me and start to communicate with

16:23my mom with a mediator at first it took me months of therapy and deprogramming and also nine months of

16:31working with the fbi to really like unpack the fullness of this trauma that i had experienced for

16:40the past seven years i'm so lucky that i had the support system that i had in order to build

16:45the strength

16:46that i needed to even confront my perpetrator and i i read my victim impact statement at his sentencing

16:53where he got 120 years my life now is actually like really spectacular i mean i oftentimes i i stop

17:03and

17:03i'm like i can't believe that this is my life with all of the beauty that i have in my

17:07life that doesn't

17:07eradicate the dark challenging days either and like i don't like to sugarcoat it for people because like i

17:14said healing is non-linear so there are days and there are times where i'll get triggered by something

17:20but i'm so lucky that i have the tools and the support system in order to ride that wave rather

17:28than be consumed by that pain my former self it's almost like i'm looking at a whole different person

17:33back in nexium if you're in a cult now and you're feeling like controlled or muted or like you don't

17:42have a

17:42choice try and find someone outside of the group who you trust and be brave enough to share

17:48because that's just the first step our foundation it's called the katherine oxenberg foundation and

17:54what we do is we raise money to offer therapy to people who are victims of sexual violence and ptsc

18:04trauma we also offer psychedelic assisted therapy the reason i talk about this stuff is not to instill fear

18:12in people it's not to make your life scarier or more intimidating but really just to use my story

18:20as a cautionary tale like have it help you to not make the mistakes that i've made in my life

18:27and i hope

18:28that anyone who watches this takes a little nugget with them and you know helps someone they love avoid

18:34a situation like this thank you so much for hearing my story my name is india oxenberg and if there

18:41are any

18:41other resources that you're looking for you can find me on instagram i am also on the national

18:48advisory board for rain which is the premier anonymous hotline for anyone who's experiencing

18:54sexual violence so please check them out if you need it if you are triggered by anything in our

19:00sexual violence so please check them out if you are triggered by anything in our conversation they're a great resource

19:02you

How To Survive A Cult - India's NXIVM Escape Story

Category

Transcript

Comments

Recommended