- 19 hours ago
Coronation Street 9th March 2026
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Music
00:24Dog, do you really have to stop and sniff at every flaming lamppost?
00:27It's only another dog's wee, what's the big deal?
00:31Come on
00:32So what do you reckon?
00:34Yeah, I reckon you two will be very happy together
00:37How much did it cost you?
00:39Do you really want to know?
00:40Actually no, I don't
00:41Morning
00:42Good morning
00:44Hope you're going to clean up after him today if he does anything again
00:47You don't have to worry about that, I put a cork in it
00:49I'm being serious
00:50Come on, why are you the turd please?
00:53Well it's just not very nice, is it? Dog muck everywhere
00:56Yeah, okay, I get it
00:57I'll clean up after him, of course I will
00:59Glad she hit it
01:00Have a nice day
01:01Bye
01:04Yeah, never posted through your letterbox, you muppets
01:15You alright?
01:17Not really, no
01:18What's up?
01:20Not sure
01:21I don't feel too well
01:22Describe your symptoms
01:23I'll hook it up, see if it's anything fatal
01:26I feel really nauseous
01:28Stomach pain
01:30That sort of thing
01:31Yes
01:32You won't bore yourself
01:33It'll probably show itself up
01:35No
01:37Oh
01:38Then again
01:39Oh Sam
01:41Are you alright?
01:45Happy birthday to you
01:48Happy birthday to you
01:50Oh come on
01:51Happy birthday dear Theo
01:54Happy birthday to you
01:57Happy birthday to you
01:57Wow, crikey, you sound like a pair of cats being strangled
02:02Sorry, Adele was busy
02:03Oh no, I'm only joking, I'm really grateful to both of you, thanks ever so much
02:08She didn't need to go to all this trouble
02:09Yes we did
02:10Well and anyway, it's nice to have something to celebrate for once
02:13So go on then, open your presents, this one's from me
02:16Oh, sorry, you didn't have to, thanks ever so much
02:20Oh, hey-oh
02:21Look at this, Tarrington, eh?
02:23I'll be the belle of the ball
02:25Oh, my champion, hmm?
02:27Well, I got the wrong size, didn't I?
02:29Even for him
02:30No, no, it's fine, I love it
02:32No, it's too small
02:34No, no, no, it's perfect
02:36Anyway, listen, it'll show off my muscles, won't it, eh?
02:38They're all guns
02:39Right
02:40I know it's not much, but it's just a way to say thank you
02:43Honestly, I...
02:44I don't know what I would have done recently
02:46without you and Todd
02:48Oh, sorry
02:53Thank you
02:54And then this one is from me
02:56Hey, oh, the start of the show
02:59Right
02:59I hope it's okay
03:05Ah, look at that, it's a...
03:07It's a food blender
03:09Yeah, that's, er...
03:11That's really thoughtful of you
03:12I just thought it'd come in handy, you know, especially for doing this whole fitness thing
03:16Yeah, yeah
03:17Do you like it then?
03:19Of course I like it
03:21Of course I do
03:22Because it's from you, eh?
03:24Oh, thank you
03:30Well, looks like that's the lot then
03:33Yeah, I'm sorry you didn't get anything from Miles and Millie
03:36Yeah, me too
03:38That didn't get an hour at Christmas, did I? So
03:41Can't say I'm surprised
03:43Card would have been nice, but...
03:46Anyway
03:47I must get to work
03:48What do you mean? You're not going to work today
03:51No, I'm not
03:52I'm going to fix that cupboard door in the kitchen, aren't I?
03:55And we both know you're not going to do it
03:57Well, don't get mad anyway
03:59I'll see you in the bistro later
04:00Yeah, oh, er...
04:02Yeah, look forward to my birth meal, Todd
04:03Todd, Todd, Todd
04:04Don't forget to bring your wallet
04:10Got a toastie, I'm making David one before he goes to the hospital
04:13Nah, you're okay, thanks
04:14Suit yourself
04:16Well, where did you last see it?
04:17Well, I don't know, do I?
04:19I'm not a mess
04:20Yeah, the will to live
04:21This one's lost the PE kit
04:23I walked in my drawer and it's not there
04:25Oh
04:26You haven't washed it, have you?
04:27Again
04:28Oh, I do not believe this
04:30Look, look, I'm so sorry, love, okay?
04:31Just with everything that's been going on with Harp
04:33And me has been all over the place
04:34Listen, it's in the washing basket
04:35Wait there, I'll go and get it for you
04:39They're not doing it on purpose, you know?
04:42Neglecting you
04:42But it feels like it
04:44No, things are just a bit mad at the minute, aren't they?
04:47But they'll get easier
04:49And meanwhile, you and me, we'll stick together, won't we?
04:53Because we're a team
04:54Yeah
04:55Right, if you read about that box
04:57Okay, I'm not gonna tell anyone
05:00You can trust me
05:02I always did
05:07Yeah, he'll be there in five minutes
05:09I know I said that ten minutes ago, but he's definitely on his way
05:13Yeah, I promise, I promise
05:14Okay, bye
05:15You having problems with that fella again?
05:18Unbelievable
05:18How can you get lost with a sat-nav in the place where you've lived all your life?
05:22Can you have a word with him when he gets back, please?
05:24Why me?
05:25Well, because you're more intimidating than I am
05:27Am I?
05:28Yeah, yeah, you are
05:29Do that face you do
05:31See? Really scary
05:33Well, it's a shame it doesn't work on, you know
05:35Oh, hello, love
05:36Hiya
05:37You all right?
05:37I was just passing by and I thought I'd bring you a little treat
05:40Ooh, donuts, look at that
05:42Get in
05:43Oh, no, thanks
05:43Oh, are you on a diet, Steve?
05:46Well, that's good
05:46Probably not before time
05:48No, I'm not on a diet
05:50If you must know, I don't eat food with holes in
05:53Why not?
05:54Well, I had a friend who worked in a doughnut factory
05:57He said he'd never eat one ever again
05:59I think you can draw your own conclusions
06:02Oh, thanks for that
06:03Oh, do you know what? I don't know why I bother
06:05Right, I'm going to the shops, I'll see you later
06:07Yeah, anyway, thanks, love
06:12You gonna answer that?
06:14Cathy
06:14Are you avoiding her?
06:17Yeah, a bit
06:18Is that cos she's not decided what you're gonna say when she finally gets round to popping the question?
06:23I love it, you know? It's just...
06:25I don't think now's the right time
06:27What, is that because of your dad popping his clogs?
06:30Will you stop saying popping?
06:31Oh, sorry
06:33Yes
06:34Um, because you know my track record
06:36Well, she's persistent, that's for sure
06:38Oh
06:41Nice big dad's ex
06:45Hi
06:47Yeah, speaking
06:51Thursday
06:52Right, okay, well, thanks for letting me know
06:58A eulogy?
06:59A eulogy?
06:59So I've got you down for an appointment at 2pm next Tuesday
07:02Pardon?
07:04Wednesday
07:04You're absolutely right
07:05My mistake
07:06Yeah, we'll see you then
07:07And, erm, we're very sorry for your loss
07:11Bye-bye
07:14Is that a booking?
07:15Yeah, but first one today, it's been quiet all morning
07:19No prizes for guessing why
07:23Hey
07:24Still
07:26Better than nothing, I suppose
07:29Look, don't take this the wrong way, but
07:33You look awful
07:34Yeah
07:35I know I do
07:37Oh
07:38Can't remember the last time I had an hangover like this
07:41Feels like a donkey's kicked me in the head and my tongue's wearing a sock
07:46Do you know what, I'm just gonna nip out and get some painkillers
07:48I think that might help
07:49Alright, can you hurry up though?
07:51I'm supposed to be meeting Theo and I'm late already
07:53Yeah, it's alright, it won't be a tick
08:08Hey
08:09Hey
08:09Er, do you want a taste for a pour?
08:11Oh, no, no, no, I'm sure it's fine
08:12That is the most expensive one though, eh?
08:14Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is
08:16Special occasion?
08:17Well, it's my birthday, so I thought I'd push the boat out a little bit
08:20Oh, well, happy birthday
08:22Oh, thanks, Todd
08:23Er, you kept that quiet, didn't you?
08:26Well, you know, when you get to my edge, cock
08:28You don't want to be shouting it from the rooftops, do you?
08:30Speak for yourself
08:30Yeah, you're hardly ready for a mobility scooter, are you?
08:33Well, no, although Todd did get me a food blender
08:36Well, that is nothing
08:37I mean, this one got me an iron for Christmas
08:39Yeah, and I got you some other stuff as well, babe, come on
08:41Yeah, but still an iron?
08:43Are you sat here on your own?
08:44Oh, no, no, no, I'm waiting for Todd, although he's a...
08:47He's a bit late
08:49I'll tell you what
08:50Why don't you join me while I wait for him?
08:52Oh, I wouldn't want to intrude
08:53Nah, don't be daft, come on, the more the merrier, take a seat
08:56Have some of my chateau ners de poche
08:59Not only have red, but...
09:00Yeah?
09:01Well, maybe you're the one here
09:02Yeah?
09:02Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
09:08Alright, there's a bucket there if you need to be sick again
09:10Are you sure you're going to be alright on your own?
09:12What about Miss Walsh?
09:14Isn't she going to be back soon?
09:15Well, no, she'll be at school all day
09:16And then I think she said she was going to meet Daniel later
09:19but if you're worried, I can always phone your dad.
09:21No, it's fine. I'll be all right.
09:23I'm feeling better already.
09:25Right, OK, well, just drink plenty of water
09:27and call me if you need anything, OK?
09:28See you later.
09:29See you.
09:45Hey, ready to order?
09:46Ooh.
09:47Actually, I'm still waiting on me date.
09:49Yeah, can we get, like, two minutes, please?
09:50Sorry, I can't make up my mind.
09:52No, no problem.
09:53Not like you, babe.
09:55Well, I like to put a bit of thought into what I'm getting,
09:57unlike some people.
09:59Is this still about the iron, by any chance?
10:02If you'll excuse me, I'll, er...
10:03I'll be back in a sec.
10:05Can't you give me some stuff in, you little bit of guys?
10:10Yeah.
10:14Millie!
10:15No, no, no, no, don't hang up, darling.
10:18It's me, I just, er, I just want to talk.
10:22About what?
10:24Well, look, I know me and your mum aren't together anymore.
10:28Well, you know, you're still me daughter and still me best day and...
10:33Yeah.
10:34Yeah, he is, he is today.
10:35I know you and Miles must have forgot, but...
10:38Darling, I'm...
10:39Hang on.
10:40I'm not having a go.
10:41I'm just...
10:43Sweetheart, please.
10:44No, I'm not...
10:45Darling.
10:46Millie.
10:47Millie.
10:48Sorry I'm late.
10:50George popped out for five minutes and ended up being half an hour.
10:52I don't want your excuses, Todd.
10:55All right, luckily for you, Gary and Maria have been keeping me company.
10:58I'm really sorry.
11:00So you should be.
11:01It's my birthday.
11:14It's this civil court thing, it's really got to him.
11:17I mean, he's always liked to drink, or three, but...
11:19I mean, you got completely battered and then this morning, he was in a right state.
11:23Yeah, it's a shame, isn't it?
11:25He's a good bloke, is George.
11:26What do you think's going to happen?
11:28I've got a clue.
11:29I know he's innocent, but it's not up to me, is it?
11:32Hey, can I get you anything else?
11:33Coffee, dessert, wine?
11:34No, mate, I'm good.
11:35I'll end up dozing off on the sofa.
11:37Yeah, and I've got a load of ironing to get back to.
11:39Can we drop it now?
11:42Um, do you know what?
11:43Actually, er...
11:44Yeah, I shall have a coffee.
11:45Help and get over.
11:47Anyway, you haven't said how your food was.
11:49How was it?
11:50All right?
11:50I'm trying to get a job here and all.
11:53Yeah, it was...
11:54It was fine.
11:55Everything was fine.
12:00Hey.
12:01You doing all right?
12:03No, not really.
12:04I've been with Sam most of the morning.
12:06All right, what's wrong?
12:07Well, don't panic, but he threw up on his way to school.
12:10Something you hate?
12:11Er, I don't know, maybe.
12:13I mean, he seems fine now, but I thought it'd be best to keep him off, you know, just to
12:16be on the safe side.
12:17Yeah, well, thanks for that.
12:18Truth is, I wanted to speak to you anyway.
12:21Something's not right.
12:22He's not been himself lately.
12:23Yeah, I know.
12:24I was thinking the same.
12:26Come on, Lizzie, won't tell me what it is.
12:30All right.
12:31There you go, mate.
12:32On the house.
12:33Oh, you'd have to do that.
12:34Ah, don't be daft.
12:35It's only a pint.
12:36I know you're going through a hard time at the minute.
12:38Oh, yeah.
12:39I've had better weeks, to be honest with you.
12:41So are you going to go to the funeral, then?
12:43Only.
12:44I know you and your dad weren't close, especially towards the end.
12:48Yeah, well, that's putting it mildly.
12:50I wasn't going to go, but yeah, I'll be there.
12:52They want me to do a eulogy, which I'm not looking forward to, but you only get one dead, right?
12:56Yeah, that's true.
13:03Who died?
13:04Oh.
13:06What?
13:07If only you had a mute button.
13:11Grab a drink.
13:11I won't be a minute.
13:12May not be?
13:15Hiya.
13:17You look very, um, makey-upy.
13:21Thanks, I think.
13:24Going into town, I thought I'd make a bit of an effort.
13:26Ah.
13:27With Ollie?
13:28Yeah.
13:30Let's see.
13:32Here we go.
13:34Okay, so we're going on our first proper date, and we're just going to see how things go,
13:39and take it easy.
13:40Happy now?
13:41Well, I won't go that far.
13:44I'm only joking.
13:45I think you'll make a lovely couple.
13:46Have fun.
13:47Just not too much.
13:54I says, why have you no yellow left?
13:55He says, we've not.
13:56So I've got a pink one.
13:57I'm going up in the service elevator.
13:59I'm telling you, HQ Manchester, I went straight up.
14:02I get that.
14:02Oh, hey, just in time.
14:04Well, what have I missed?
14:05Oh, the bill.
14:07I hope you don't mind.
14:09I said we'd take care of Gary and Maria as well, you know, with it being my birthday.
14:12Yeah, of course.
14:13I mean, I'm happy to split it, you know.
14:16We didn't come for a free meal.
14:17Oh, no, mate, come on.
14:19Don't be daft.
14:20Put your money away.
14:20It's on us.
14:22Are you sure?
14:23That is so kind.
14:24Don't mention it.
14:25I'll go and settle up now.
14:27Aw, thanks, Todd.
14:28Yeah, cheers, mate.
14:28Really appreciate it, yeah?
14:32Hi, Nick.
14:32I was just wondering if I could ask a favour.
14:34Uh, yeah, sure.
14:35What is it?
14:36I'm supposed to be paying for the whole table, but, um, I've got a bit of a problem with
14:41my card, long story, and, um, cash-wise, I've only got 80 quid on me.
14:44Right, uh, I mean, you're quite a bit short, aren't you?
14:47I know.
14:48I was thinking maybe I could pay the rest in a day or two.
14:50Oh, right.
14:51Like an IOU.
14:52Kind of, yeah.
14:53Oh, I'll tell you what.
14:54Just give me a second.
14:55Hey!
14:56Nick, everything all right?
14:58I, um, haven't got enough to pay the bill.
15:01Oh.
15:02Well, why don't you stick it on your card?
15:04Bit of a problem there, too.
15:07Oh.
15:08All right.
15:09No problem.
15:10Just, uh, whack it on that, Nick.
15:13All right.
15:13Sure.
15:14Ha!
15:15What's that?
15:16Who would he be without me, eh?
15:18Take me out for me birthday dinner, he says.
15:20Treat you, he says.
15:21Oh, dear.
15:22Blame him useless, he is.
15:23Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
15:27Thanks for meeting us, anyway.
15:29I'm sorry about that donut thing with Steve.
15:31Oh, I'd rather not talk about it, please, for various reasons.
15:34All right, fair enough.
15:35Is he all right, though, Steve?
15:37Was he a little bit fed up when I came in?
15:39Well, his dad's ex called with a date for the funeral.
15:42Well, I suppose he was his father.
15:44Oh, yeah.
15:44I don't think there'll be many people shedding tears over Jim MacDonald.
15:48Uh-huh.
15:49This means Steve drew the short straw when he comes to dance, didn't we?
15:53Ben, this barrel needs changing.
15:55Do you know why I spend more time down in that cellar than I do behind this bar?
15:58I should tape a torch to my head and be done with it.
16:01Ooh.
16:02I sent in the email, so it's all fine.
16:04Oh, great.
16:06What are you having?
16:07I'll get it, since you're not having one, anyway.
16:09Well, since you've just bought a new car, I think I'll let you.
16:12I'll have a pint of lager, please.
16:14Yeah, no worries.
16:15I'll bring it over for you.
16:17She didn't waste much time moving in on him, though.
16:20I'll give her that.
16:21No flies on our Amy.
16:27For real?
16:29What are you doing?
16:31Oh, my God, Amy, I'm so sorry.
16:33I didn't mean it.
16:34Let me get your cloth.
16:34Don't even bother.
16:36I've got to go home and get changed.
16:37I'll be as quick as I can.
16:39All right, chill out.
16:41Just an accident.
16:41Are you sure about that?
16:43What are you on about?
16:44You don't like the fact I'm seeing her, do you?
16:46Just admit it.
16:47Oh, God.
16:48Don't flatter yourself, yeah?
16:50I don't care who you see.
16:51So what's your problem?
16:54Crude but effective.
16:56A word of advice, though.
16:58You're going to have to box a bit more clever if you want to win them back.
17:02I told you it was a bike accident.
17:04Besides, I didn't think you'd like me hanging around with them anyway.
17:06Whatever gave you that idea?
17:17Some birthday this has turned out to be.
17:19I've said I'm sorry.
17:20I didn't mean to...
17:21To what?
17:22What, Todd?
17:23What?
17:24Turn up late?
17:24Leave me to sort out the bill?
17:26Huh?
17:27Sort out your mess because you couldn't even manage to take me for a birthday meal without
17:30screwing it up, you pathetic, useless waste of space.
17:33Look, that's not fair, all right?
17:35I didn't know he was going to have to pay for Gary and Maria as well.
17:38So that's my fault now, is it?
17:39No, I didn't mean it.
17:40How did you mean it?
17:42Look, I don't want to fight, all right?
17:44I'm tired.
17:45You're tired.
17:47Well, so am I.
17:49So am I, Todd.
17:50I'm tired of this.
17:51I'm tired of you.
18:00Hey, honey.
18:01Hello.
18:03Oh, you got it working, then?
18:05Yeah, I think so.
18:07And I sorted that breathing monitor out, you know, for a room.
18:10I know it's going to be a while before she's home and everything, but I just wanted to
18:13get things sorted, you know?
18:14Oh, I think that's dead sweet.
18:16Hmm.
18:21Am I losing pot or can I hear a baby crying?
18:24Oh, no, no, it's Carla's.
18:26Carla?
18:27When did she have a sprog?
18:28I don't know.
18:29Well, I was talking to her earlier, I think she's, like, borrowing it or something for
18:32a bit.
18:33Borrowing it?
18:34Whose is it?
18:34You know what it bor...
18:35No, I don't know whose it is.
18:37Um, why don't you ask her if you're that bothered?
18:39Well, I'm not.
18:40It's just a bit weird, isn't it?
18:41Borrowing a kid.
18:44Well, you'd better get used to it, because when Harper's home, it's going to be baby
18:47central around here.
18:48Oh, no.
18:49It's going to be an house full.
18:50Mm.
18:51You know, I was thinking the other day, there's going to be seven of us living here, including
18:53Mutt.
18:54Yeah, well, Jodie ain't going to be here forever, is she?
18:56I mean, she's only here until she gets back on her feet.
18:58Yeah, I suppose.
18:59Not that I'm complaining.
19:00You know, she's been a big help, actually.
19:03It's just, it would be nice to have the place to ourselves again.
19:06Mm, yeah, you know what, that could not come soon enough.
19:10So, this is not interrupting, am I?
19:12No, no, not at all.
19:13Just checking.
19:18No, no, no, not at all.
19:39Fine.
19:43Pop to the shop and get me some.
19:46Come on, I haven't got any money.
19:50And please, don't drink any more.
19:53All right, you're obviously in a really bad mood, and when you drink when you're like
19:57this, it doesn't agree with you.
20:01Are you all right?
20:02Yeah.
20:03I am in a really bad mood.
20:09Well, can you blame me?
20:11After having such a rubbish birthday?
20:14I mean, you've got me a lousy present.
20:19Kept me waiting.
20:21Humiliated me in front of our friends.
20:23I used to pay the bill.
20:25And even my own kids didn't know it was my birthday.
20:28They forgot.
20:29How do you know that?
20:29Because I phoned Millie, and she told me right before she hung up at me.
20:34I'm sorry.
20:36And I want a drink.
20:38Why don't I make us a coffee?
20:41You make coffee?
20:43Probably screw that up as well.
20:44Why are you being like this?
20:46Sorry.
20:46Or is it hurting your feelings?
20:49Oh, look, I'm sorry.
20:51All right.
20:52All right.
20:53Fine.
20:53Let's have the coffee.
20:55Tell you what.
20:56Here, I'll help you.
20:58What are you doing?
20:59Uh, you're going to need some coffee as well.
21:01Neil, what am I stopping?
21:02How about some sugar?
21:03You always need sugar, don't you?
21:05Oh.
21:05We'll need some mugs.
21:06There you go.
21:07Mug.
21:10What are you going to need some spoons, aren't we, Tony?
21:13Enough.
21:14Get off.
21:16Get off.
21:17Get off.
21:17Get off!
21:22And what are you going to do with that?
21:25Don't push me.
21:26Why?
21:26Are you going to stab me?
21:27Are you?
21:28Yeah, well, go on then.
21:29Do it, all right?
21:30Do you think I care anymore?
21:31Do you think I want to carry on like this?
21:33Go on.
21:34Do it.
21:34Do it.
21:35Just put me out of my misery.
21:36Do it.
21:58And if you've been affected by issues raised in tonight's programme,
22:03you can visit itv.com slash advice for support information.
22:08Coming up next, our new thriller about a headmaster whose wife vanishes continues.
22:13It's now gone.
22:16It's now gone.
22:19It's now gone.
22:22It's now gone.
22:23It's now gone.
22:24It's now gone.
22:25It's now gone.
22:25You
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