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00:27This call is from a person
00:29currently in prison in England.
00:31All calls are logged and recorded
00:33and may be listened to by a member of prison staff.
00:36If you do not wish to accept this call,
00:38please hang up now.
00:42Hey.
00:44How are you doing?
00:45I know I'm seeing you later,
00:47but I just needed to hear your voice.
00:51Is everything all right?
00:52Yeah, yeah.
00:54You?
00:56Yeah.
00:57Are you with the boys?
00:59No, I'm taking them to school in a bit.
01:02You still managing all right?
01:04Um, yeah.
01:07Fine.
01:07Not bad.
01:11Matt, I just wanted to tell you that I love you.
01:16I love you too.
01:18Cain.
01:19Thanks for keeping everything together.
01:22I don't know what I'd do if it wasn't for you.
01:41You questioning your life choices?
01:45Yeah.
01:47Wishing I'd done the other eye whilst I had the chance.
01:51Hmm.
01:52It's a good thing you've managed to keep your sense of humour.
01:56Just not your farm.
01:59If you think we're just going to sign it over to you,
02:02then you're thicker than you look.
02:04You practically handed it to me yesterday.
02:08What's he doing?
02:09Leave him.
02:10Hmm.
02:12Technically I own 50% of all...
02:14No, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. Grow up.
02:18Draw up the contracts or I will call the police.
02:25Sorry, police?
02:28Did you want something?
02:33These invoices still need sorting.
02:37So, are you going to tell me what that was about?
02:42He set me up.
02:43How do you mean?
02:45Caught me on camera, nicking his car.
02:50And then Dawn saw me giving him a hiding, so...
02:54He reckons he'll go to the police if we don't sign over Moira's share to him.
02:59He's got enough to put me away.
03:00Right, look, you need to talk to Moira.
03:02And tell her what?
03:03The truth.
03:04Look, I'm sick of having this conversation.
03:06Yes, and so am I, but...
03:08Look, I know you're trying to protect her, but what use are you to her if you're in prison?
03:13Seriously, Grumpy, we can't go on like this.
03:16This secret is getting harder and harder to keep for both of us.
03:23I've worked my fair share of nights in my day.
03:26Mate, you'd think a boutique B&B would attract a classier clientele.
03:32Look, if I spent one night, elbow deep, up a U-bend, I've spent a thousand.
03:37You won't believe what some people flush down the loo.
03:39This one lady, she tried to flush a full 16-inch.
03:45What?
03:47Sorry, was I boring you?
03:48Sorry, Bob. I was listening. I'm just knackered.
03:51Yeah. Maybe get more conversation over here.
03:55And again, maybe not.
04:00So, what time did you get home from your shift? I didn't hear you come in.
04:03About six.
04:05Same again tonight. My body clock's all over the place.
04:08I'm sure it'll be worth all the hard work in the end.
04:16Look, Jacob, I hate falling out with you.
04:18I'm not exactly enjoying myself.
04:21Hey, just a tea, please.
04:24Look, whatever it is Cain's got you involved in,
04:26you either tell me now or there's no point talking.
04:29It will make sense, I promise, but...
04:31but right now I can't.
04:35Right, well, you've made your choice.
04:38I'm not even gonna waste my breath anymore.
04:44Sarah, what's up?
04:46Hey.
04:47We're just having a few problems right now.
04:49Yeah, and I can guess who's causing that.
04:51Bob, can I get two teas, please?
04:54Of course, by the way.
04:55Right, you sit down, come on.
04:59Okay, just tell me everything.
05:13What?
05:28This is actually unbelievable. What an idiot.
05:31Are you happy with yourself?
05:33Trying to be?
05:34Yeah.
05:35Are you trying to throw your entire life away?
05:39I told you about Jo.
05:40That farm is Moira's life.
05:43You don't think I know that?
05:45And you're clearly not satisfied just causing trouble for Sarah and Jacob,
05:48so you thought, oh, let me blow up my own life.
05:50I just need to back off.
05:51No, Cain, you need to listen to me.
05:54Seriously, what is this? What is going on with you?
05:56Is it, is it you? Is it Moira? Is it something else?
06:00I can't do this now.
06:09Right, first off, it's good that you came here straight away. That is the right thing to do.
06:14Obviously, things like this can be very unnerving.
06:17So what is it? Is it getting worse?
06:19The tests show that the blood in your urine is from a urinary tract infection.
06:24So it's not the cancer?
06:26No.
06:28But having prostate cancer means you are going to be more susceptible to UTIs in the future.
06:34Okay, so this could be a regular thing?
06:36Maybe, maybe not. It's different for every person.
06:39But, good news is, it can easily be cleared up with a dose of antibiotics.
06:47Sergeant Ouellette, how are you doing?
06:53I'm pretty much making a mess of everything. It's not just affecting me. I mean, keeping this secret is just
07:01causing Sarah so much grief.
07:07Maybe it's time to start telling people. You can't keep the secret forever. Once it's out there, it might help
07:17people to understand how you've been recently.
07:21But once it's out there, people are going to look at me and all they're going to see is cancer.
07:27Well, I disagree.
07:29I think people are going to see a human being that's going through a really difficult time.
07:35You don't need to be afraid of sympathy.
07:37I'm not afraid.
07:38Good. Nothing's stopping you, then.
07:42You know, it's times like this when life is as real as it gets.
07:49That's when you realise how much you're really loved.
08:02Isaac's got a part in the school play.
08:05He's actually going to sit down and learn lines.
08:08And good luck with that.
08:10Teachers aren't daft.
08:12Playing the planet Mars.
08:13So, he's just going to stand there looking red by the way he's going on.
08:16You'd think he was Al Pacino.
08:18Yeah, I can imagine.
08:21Well, we've got to give it to him.
08:23It's a step up from the broccoli he played in that nativity.
08:29Gold, frankincense and broccoli.
08:30I mean, even Jesus didn't see that one coming.
08:33Oh, it was so funny.
08:36That school loved to shoehorn in a healthy eating message wherever they can.
08:42Just gutted I won't get to see him in his starry role.
08:46Well, you never know.
08:49Things aren't really going my way, Cain.
08:53Doesn't look like I'm going to get out of here any time soon.
09:01I need to tell you something.
09:05I'm really sorry.
09:08Why?
09:10Cain, what is it?
09:13Um...
09:15Do you know when I said the cancer wasn't anything to worry about?
09:18Yeah, and how it wasn't going to grow or you needed any treatment or anything.
09:23It wasn't exactly right.
09:27What do you mean?
09:29Are you okay?
09:32I can't say.
09:36Much worse than I said.
09:39Much worse.
09:59I don't understand.
10:02I thought they were monitoring it.
10:04They are.
10:06So how is it suddenly so serious?
10:09And what does grade group four even mean exactly?
10:15It means it's aggressive.
10:16And it'll spread if it's not treated soon.
10:21When did you find out?
10:24When I got my results.
10:26Cain, that was over a month ago.
10:29You've known all this time.
10:31I wanted to tell you, but you...
10:34You'd just been charged and you weren't dealing well with it in here.
10:39And I thought that I could fight it, that I could beat it,
10:42and that you wouldn't have to know until you got out, but...
10:46It just hasn't worked out like I thought it would.
10:50So you...
10:51You have proper, full-blown prostate cancer.
10:57Are you going to be okay?
11:01I don't know.
11:04Cain, I'm so sorry.
11:07Give me...
11:10I love you.
11:11I love you so much.
11:13But I can't be there for you.
11:15There's nothing that I can do.
11:16Hey.
11:17No hugging.
11:18Please.
11:19I won't tell you again.
11:20You both need to sit down.
11:22All right, but she's just had some bad news.
11:24Sit.
11:25Down.
11:31Do that again.
11:32He's out, understood.
11:42So what have they said?
11:44Do you have a treatment plan?
11:52They'll want to operate in about a month.
11:57What will that do?
11:59They'll remove my prostate and...
12:02Hopefully that will take a cancer with it.
12:06Will you need chemo?
12:07That may be radiotherapy.
12:10But they're hoping the surgery will be enough.
12:14After that, I mean...
12:16You're going to be all right, aren't you?
12:17I mean, it's grade group four,
12:19but you're still going to survive this, right?
12:20They reckon my chances are good.
12:22You're not just saying that so that I don't worry.
12:24No, no, I'm just sorry that I've had to tell you like this.
12:27Of course you've had to tell me.
12:28Yeah, but I know what it's like.
12:30Being in these places, feeling helpless as life just carries on without you.
12:34You never need to protect me from the truth.
12:37Not for something so important.
12:38Come on, do you hear me?
12:45So, who knows?
12:46And please tell me you haven't been going through all of this on your own.
12:51Liam and Sarah.
12:53Just them?
12:54Well, and now you.
12:57What about the boys?
13:04I know they need to know.
13:08I'm just not sure I can do this to them.
13:09Okay.
13:10Okay, there's no pressure.
13:13You know what Kyle was like after I got shot?
13:17I mean, he's just coming to terms with losing his mum.
13:23How can I tell him this?
13:25You used to have to be honest with him and reassure him that everything's going to be all right.
13:30Yeah.
13:31He thought that Amy was going to be all right. I just don't think he's going to buy it.
13:34But this is different.
13:36Because you will be all right.
13:37And we need to keep positive.
13:43Yeah.
13:46What if I'm not?
13:50What if I...
13:53What if this gets me?
13:55And you're still in the air when what happens to the boys then?
13:59We have the best family that we could ever ask for.
14:03No matter what happens.
14:05The boys, they will be looked after.
14:07And we need to hold on to that.
14:11You know, some people say cancer is a fight.
14:14And it is.
14:16And this is going to be the hardest fight of your life.
14:22And from my experience,
14:24the biggest battle is what's going on in here, you know.
14:28Trying to stop overthinking things, don't it?
14:31Stop the...
14:33waves of dread from completely overwhelming you.
14:37Yeah.
14:39That just was my brain mature.
14:40What?
14:44When I had my tumour.
14:47I was so terrified of all the things that might happen.
14:50Like, what is getting worse?
14:52And what if the treatment doesn't work?
14:54And what if it comes back?
15:01Mum seems a long time to wait for an upper rest.
15:03I just want it out.
15:05Well, the waiting is the worst part.
15:08You just have to try and focus on the things that you can do to help yourself.
15:12I like what?
15:14Keeping healthy.
15:15Eating and drinking all the right stuff.
15:18You've got Liam in the family, so use them.
15:20He's been doing his best to keep me distracted.
15:23Well, that's good.
15:25You know, there's only so much I can...
15:28hear about.
15:30The allotment and...
15:32sweet potatoes before I actually imagined what it would be like
15:35running and walking with a tractor.
15:44Well, no.
15:46Chance would have something to say about that.
15:48I know.
15:56What about the others?
16:00How do you feel about telling the family?
16:02They need to know at some point.
16:06but talking about it
16:10telling everyone just
16:12makes it more real
16:15there's one thing your family know painfully well
16:18it's cancer
16:22but you'd be surprised how much it helps to talk about it
16:26the last thing I want is pity
16:28I don't want anybody to be looking at me differently
16:30I'm not going to pity you, I don't want to help
16:32I don't want to keep going over the same conversation again and again
16:36yeah okay I get it
16:39obviously you need to tell the boys
16:43and then maybe after that
16:44you get Chas and Belle and Sam and Caleb together
16:49and ask them to spread the word
16:56I wish you could be there
16:57me too
17:03but Sarah will be
17:06and Zach
17:07and Faith
17:08and you remember how strong they were
17:11when they were in your shoes
17:12and they'll be right by your side
17:14the whole way
17:19I keep thinking about mum
17:26and how hard it was for her
17:30and how difficult I made it
17:33but you got there in the end
17:34that's what matters
17:36yeah but I
17:37I get why she decided to
17:39do things her own way now
17:41you know
17:43me too
17:46but Faith was terminal
17:49I mean your diagnosis isn't great
17:51but there's hope
17:54hard to see it sometimes
18:02just try this yeah
18:07imagine your dream future
18:11what does it look like
18:15looks like you
18:19and
18:20and the boys
18:22and what about them
18:24what are we doing
18:28they're grown up
18:31maybe they've got a few kids of their own
18:35and Sarah's there
18:38she's strong
18:39and healthy
18:41with her own
18:42that girl
18:43who no doubt's just as
18:45troublesome as she is
18:49and you will be great grumpy
18:52surrounded by your family
18:55and we're all together
18:58safe and happy
18:59on
19:00on the farm
19:03let's both hold up
19:04into that
19:06it's a powerful image
19:08and every day
19:08every step that we take
19:10it will get us there
19:24I'm not sure
19:25we will though
19:29there's something
19:29you need to know
19:34I
19:34I started thinking
19:36if the worst came to the worst
19:41what would happen
19:42if I needed to support
19:43you and the boys
19:45okay
19:47so I nicked a few cars
19:50and did you get caught
19:53Joe Tay set a trap for me
19:55and I kind of walked into it
19:56now he's got me over a barrel
19:58and what does he want
20:02the rest of the farm
20:06and if we don't sign it over to him
20:10he thinks he's going off
20:11to get me put away
20:13can he?
20:16maybe
20:17yeah
20:18God, Keane
20:19what about the boys?
20:21I know
20:21I know
20:22I will sort this
20:23right
20:24he's off his head
20:24if he thinks I'm just gonna
20:25end your share over
20:27mark my words
20:29he will not
20:30get anything from us
20:31right
20:32I will make sure of that
20:33don't start World War 3
20:35your health is way more important
20:37than the farm
20:38that's time
20:39ladies and gentlemen
20:40oh god already
20:43listen
20:44I know there's not much
20:44that I can do
20:45but I am here
20:46you keep going and seeing me
20:47okay
20:47we need to keep talking
20:48promise
20:49and to talk to the family
20:51that's what they're there for
20:51lean on them
20:52yeah I'm sorry
20:53I can't remember it
20:55asking for help
20:55doesn't make you weak
20:56in fact
20:58it takes an incredible
20:59amount of strength
21:03I don't care what they say
21:04I am hugging my husband
21:11Oi
21:12what have I told you?
21:15Tyrone get the farm
21:16trust me
21:16listen
21:17that's enough
21:18you will beat this
21:19I know you will
21:19I love you Keane
21:20you need to leave
21:21I love you too
21:22what have I told you?
21:22I don't know.
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