- 6 hours ago
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00:12Sam, could you give me a hand in the kitchen, please?
00:15Um, I could.
00:16Yay!
00:17But I won't.
00:19Pooch.
00:22Can we not watch this?
00:24Please?
00:26Why? You guys said you love this movie.
00:28We do.
00:30On a big screen.
00:32What do you mean? That's a 50-inch TV.
00:34We know.
00:36We've seen one that small before.
00:38At our maid's house.
00:42Ow!
00:45Sam.
00:47What was that?
00:48Our timers.
00:50I thought you had timers.
00:51Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
00:52Um, let's see.
00:547.30.
00:55Both Phillip and Kelly must take their protein pills and eat their nutritional yeast.
01:00Come on, kids.
01:01Come get your yeast.
01:05Ugh.
01:06Your parents seriously make you guys wear timers?
01:09That's right.
01:10We have a lot of stuff on our schedule.
01:12Oh, your schedule.
01:15Like, if you had a timer, it might help you remember when to wash.
01:20That's it.
01:21One more rude comment from you and you're losing a big toe.
01:24What?
01:24Or worse.
01:27Sam.
01:28What?
01:29Babysitting rules clearly state each child must leave with the same number of body parts
01:33they showed up with.
01:35There's no rule that says each child must leave with the same amount of...
01:39Oh, look.
01:40It's number four.
01:43All right, kids.
01:44Take your protein pills and your nutritional yeast.
01:52Where did this water come from?
01:54The sink.
01:55Ew.
01:56What's wrong now?
01:58We don't drink sink water.
02:01Get us some bottled water.
02:04We don't have bottled water.
02:08Whoa, whoa, whoa, Cat.
02:09These are special kids and they deserve special water.
02:13Which I'll go get.
02:15We keep it in the bathroom.
02:20Well, all right, dinner's almost done, you guys.
02:24Ding dong.
02:25We carry bags.
02:27From the supermarket.
02:30Why'd you guys come from the supermarket?
02:32The little kids gave us 20 bucks.
02:34Each to get us dinner.
02:37Well, I've been making you dinner for the past hour, see?
02:40Chicken tots and tater balls.
02:42We don't eat chicken tots.
02:44Or tater balls.
02:48All right, well, uh, here are your steaks.
02:52And your lobsters.
02:55Yeah, nice lob.
02:57Oh, um, and I got you this new butter spray.
02:59You just spray it right on the lobster before you eat it.
03:02Love that.
03:03Why, why, why, why, why?
03:06Why?
03:07You guys are seriously gonna eat the lobsters?
03:11Of course we're gonna eat them.
03:12That's what lobsters are for.
03:14But I thought you wanted them as pets.
03:18Dude, they paid for the lobsters.
03:21If they wanna eat them, they can eat them.
03:23Yeah.
03:25Yeah, right.
03:32I'll save you!
03:36I'm not supposed to get dairy in my eyes!
03:39Guys, go get Goomer and make him apologize.
03:42Uh, whatever.
03:44Goomer!
03:45Goomer!
03:45Okay, here we go.
03:48Special water for Philip and Kelly.
03:52What brand of water is this?
03:55Oh, it's from France.
03:56It's called Aqua Toilette.
03:59Ooh.
04:00France.
04:01Merci.
04:04Toilette.
04:05That kinda sounds like toilet.
04:09Oh, God.
04:14I'm never that far
04:16No matter where you are
04:18Believe it, we can make it come true
04:21We'll do it our way
04:24No matter what they say
04:26Cause no one's gonna do it for you
04:29Ooh, ooh, yeah
04:30But I, I, I, I
04:33I'll never say never
04:35As long as we keep it together
04:41If you live in a dream
04:43And you know what it means
04:45And you can't let them change your mind
04:48It's the life that we choose
04:51And we still break the rules
04:53But it's all gonna be just fine
04:56Yeah, we're all gonna be just fine
05:00You and me, we're gonna be just fine
05:08Oh, how's your steaks?
05:12Did I make them right?
05:13Mine's overcooked.
05:15Yeah, you didn't cook them right.
05:17Well, maybe you shouldn't have rejected
05:19My chicken tots and tater balls.
05:22Ding dong.
05:23I got it.
05:28Hello, I'm Cromsby.
05:31That's not a real name.
05:33But it is.
05:34I work for the Bombs.
05:36I'm here to pick up their children.
05:37Yay!
05:40Oh, I'm sorry.
05:41I didn't mean to sound rude or anything.
05:43You guys are just really annoying.
05:46Philip, Kelly, the car is out front.
05:49Please go wait in it.
05:51We don't want to wait in the car.
05:53I'm not waiting in the stupid car.
05:56Here's $100 each.
06:01You have five minutes.
06:06Five.
06:08Yes, of course, of course.
06:10Is it wrong to hate a child?
06:15Dude, if hating those kids is wrong, I don't want to be right.
06:20Indeed.
06:20Now, before I go...
06:21Guns!
06:22Sammy's got a gun!
06:23Oh, my God!
06:24Why would he have a gun?
06:27I don't have a gun.
06:30I have tickets.
06:32Doctor and Mrs. Baum are going to the Bahamas, and they'd like the two of you to escort their
06:36children there.
06:37Uh, wait.
06:38Why don't the Bombs just fly to the Bahamas with their kids?
06:41If you were those children's parents, then you could pay someone to fly with them, wouldn't
06:46you?
06:47Absolutely.
06:48Oh, yeah, yeah, really.
06:50Yes.
06:50Well, two free tickets to the Bahamas.
06:52Are you interested?
06:53No way.
06:53You can tell a doctor and Mrs. Baum that we don't want to go on a trip anywhere with their
06:56kids.
06:57You'd be flying first class.
06:59We don't care about...
06:59First class?
07:01Who cares if we're flying?
07:02Oh, yes, we'll do it!
07:03Oh, we won't.
07:03Sam, please!
07:04I've wanted to fly first class ever since I was a little girl!
07:07What's the big deal about it?
07:08Have you ever flown first class?
07:10I've never been on a nice bus.
07:12First class is magical!
07:16I have 30 seconds.
07:18The seats are real big and they go back all the way.
07:21But that doesn't...
07:21And they give you fancy food with real forts made of metal.
07:24Oh, food, you say?
07:26And at the end of the flight, they give you fresh baked cookies and hot rags!
07:30Well, I...
07:31Hot rags!
07:34The rags are quite hot.
07:38Okay, we'll do it!
07:40Hi, rags!
07:41I'll tell the ball.
07:45What was that?
07:49A rock that says, it's been five minutes.
08:09Yeah, okay.
08:12Here's my school ID and my first class ticket.
08:17I see it.
08:19We're gonna get fresh cookies and hot rags!
08:22Cats?
08:23These kids yours?
08:24We're babysitting them.
08:26Um, yes.
08:27This is Phillip Baum and that's his sister, Kelly Baum.
08:29Boarding passes?
08:32They're also riding in the first class section.
08:35With us.
08:37Go ahead.
08:39First class.
08:41Shut up!
08:43Well, our guys got a culture attitude.
08:46Come on.
08:49All right.
08:50You guys took your protein pills and your nutritional yeast, right?
08:54No, we didn't.
08:54Because you forgot to bring our timers.
08:56Quit whining.
08:57Listen, Goomer and Dice are on their way here with your dumb rich kid timers.
09:01Laptops out of your bags, empty your pockets, shoes off.
09:05Um, ma'am, ma'am, excuse me.
09:09I'm assuming we first class passengers don't have to remove our shoes?
09:15Yes, you do.
09:17But I'm not wearing any socks and the floor seems kind of sticky.
09:20Look, I don't care who you...
09:21Hey, I got this.
09:22You got what?
09:23Oh, my gosh, Sam, let me see.
09:25No, please, no.
09:26Eww, quit it, Sam.
09:27Eww.
09:28Don't be my feet alone.
09:31Oh, it's done.
09:32Oh.
09:34Okay, now come on, let's get through security so we can get to first class.
09:38Bye.
09:43Hey, where can we get hand sanitizer?
09:46Look, don't ask me questions.
09:47I barely made it through fourth grade.
09:51I'm just listening for beats.
09:54Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
09:56Did you guys hear a beep?
10:04Hey, Sam, cat!
10:05We made it!
10:07Over here!
10:08We brought the timers for the bombs!
10:11Oh, my God, it's got a bomb!
10:13Finally, our timers!
10:15What'd he say?
10:16I've got the timers for the bombs!
10:18He said he's got the timers for the bombs!
10:20Go blue, go blue, go blue, go blue, go blue, go blue, go blue.
10:24What's going on?
10:26Get him!
10:28Look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, what's happening to Dyson Filmer?
10:32Bad things.
10:33That wasn't very nice of you, too, okay?
10:36What do we do?
10:37Run that way!
10:38We can't just leave this.
10:40Heart raps!
10:41Come on, kids, let's go, get your things.
10:43Come on, come on.
10:51Billy Orgel, please pick up the white crazy bell.
10:54Billy Orgel, please pick up the white crazy bell.
10:57Oh, look at all the people.
11:00I don't like people.
11:03Now, now, now, no bad energy.
11:06Billy, my dream of flying first class is about to come true, and nothing shall spoil it.
11:16Oh, my God, that's disgusting.
11:17Move, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
11:20My shoes are pinching my toes.
11:23Can we sit down?
11:24Oh, who's a cranky puss?
11:27Yeah!
11:29Does anybody see four seats together?
11:32Uh, right here.
11:34Hey, anybody sitting in those seats?
11:36Yeah, me.
11:38That's all your stuff?
11:40Yeah, it's all my stuff, and I ain't moving it.
11:43Oh, that's cool.
11:44You don't have to move it.
11:47What the?
11:49That's right.
11:50What are you?
11:53Hey!
11:55Pick my stuff up and put it all back!
12:00These seats are open.
12:05You think Dice and Goomer are gonna be all right?
12:08Oh, yeah.
12:09They're big boys.
12:10They can handle themselves.
12:16Buddy!
12:18Buddy, come on!
12:22What'd you say to the big guy?
12:23I just asked him if he wanted some water.
12:25I don't want any water!
12:27I want chocolate milk!
12:30Could you get him some chocolate milk?
12:32I don't think we have any.
12:36All right, all right!
12:37Shut up!
12:40Now, big guy, explain this.
12:43Cat!
12:44We made it!
12:45Over here!
12:46We brought the timers for the bombs!
12:51Okay, I can explain what happened.
12:52Quiet, hair hat!
12:54Hair hat?
12:56It does look like a fuzzy hat.
12:59You'll get your chance to talk.
13:02But I just...
13:03But...
13:03I can't...
13:04Just...
13:06Okay, chocolate milk.
13:08Talk.
13:10Sure.
13:11See, our friends called us about two hours ago and said they were taking the bombs to the airport
13:15and putting them on the plane.
13:17Jude!
13:17You stay quiet!
13:23But the problem was they forgot the timers for the bombs.
13:31So, we got the timers and we brought them to the airport for the bombs.
13:39Can I get a lawyer?
13:42And a pony?
13:46Flight 1549 in the Bahamas will begin boarding in just a few minutes.
13:50Yeah!
13:50Hot rats!
13:54It's a first-class thing.
13:56You wouldn't get it.
13:59I want to get on the plane now.
14:02Wow, I care what you want.
14:05Don't worry.
14:06We're in first class, so we'll get to board the plane before everybody else.
14:10Grrr!
14:13That hurt my feelings.
14:18What do you mean to security?
14:21Hi.
14:21Is the seat taken?
14:22Uh...
14:23Nobody's sitting here, right?
14:24Well, I really don't think you should sit here, though.
14:25I'm sorry.
14:26Can I just...
14:27Please don't touch me.
14:29Oh, God.
14:30Kat, stand up.
14:32All right.
14:39And don't talk to that.
14:40Hello.
14:42My name is Coco.
14:44Oh, now there's going to be a conversation.
14:47So get this.
14:48My ex-husband, Carl?
14:49Yeah?
14:50He's getting married.
14:51Guess to who?
14:52Don't guess.
14:54The lady?
14:55My mother.
14:57How disgusting is that?
14:59Larry.
15:01Right?
15:02Where is my car battery?
15:04You know, I work at a fancy boarding school.
15:07I'm a dorm advisor.
15:08Those lucky kids.
15:11What school?
15:12Pacific Coast Academy.
15:14Honey, can you hold my car battery?
15:16Actually, I don't like to hold things.
15:20We're flying first class.
15:22Lucky.
15:23I flew first class on my honeymoon with Carl.
15:26They give you hot rags.
15:28Yes!
15:30Why am I holding a 17-pound car battery?
15:34Here is my can opener.
15:36Hold this.
15:37Well, yeah, yeah.
15:38I love small appliances.
15:41So you tell me.
15:42After Carl marries my mother, what do I call him?
15:45My ex-husband?
15:46My stepfather?
15:47Or the man I still love?
15:53So you're taking a vacation?
15:55No.
15:56I'm going to the wedding.
16:02Give me.
16:04What is that can?
16:07Ravioli.
16:08It's the one thing that never lets me down.
16:21All right, hair hat.
16:23Why were you two bringing timers for bombs to this airport?
16:27Okay, see, my friends are beating them.
16:28It was his fault!
16:29Boomer!
16:30I didn't want to bring the timers for the bombs to the airport.
16:34I wanted to go to a petting zoo.
16:38Just tell us about the bombs.
16:40I'm trying.
16:40There's these two kids.
16:41I just wanted to pet a baby.
16:43See?
16:43Yeah!
16:46I mean, do you have any idea how painful that's going to be for me?
16:50Watching my ex-husband get married to my own mother?
16:56Why would your ex-husband want to marry your mom?
16:59I don't know.
17:00Why don't you ask them?
17:01They're right over there.
17:07It's like 1549 to the Bahamas.
17:09We'll begin pre-boarding now.
17:11Yeah!
17:12Hot rags!
17:14Yeah, baby.
17:15See you later, ravioli lady.
17:17Oh, and by the way, you'll find another man.
17:22She won't.
17:24Come on, kids.
17:25Let's go.
17:25Come on.
17:26Excuse me, everybody.
17:27First class.
17:27Coming through.
17:28We're heading.
17:28Coming through.
17:30Yeah, first class.
17:31We get to board first.
17:32At this time, we'd like to board all passengers who need assistance.
17:35Yay!
17:36Wait, what?
17:38I thought first class passengers get to board the plane first.
17:41Don't worry about it.
17:42We're next.
17:43Okay, okay.
17:45Hurry up, please.
17:49Boarding next?
17:51Families with small children.
17:53What the?
17:54Well, they're small children.
17:56Not small enough.
17:59What about first class?
18:04I don't think you boys have any idea how much trouble you're in.
18:08A lot of trouble.
18:09I'm trying to explain.
18:11Will you let me explain?
18:13All you're doing is making this worse.
18:15Well, I can explain stuff just as good as you can.
18:18Well, it's my turn.
18:19No, it's not.
18:21Okay, the bombs aren't really bombs.
18:24Go, go, go, go, go.
18:27What are you doing?
18:29Nothing.
18:31Go ahead.
18:32Give the people your brilliant explanation.
18:37See, our friends brought these two kids to the airport.
18:40Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
18:42You don't quit doing that.
18:43Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go,
18:51go, go, go, go.
18:52Let's see.
18:53Boarding next?
18:54Here we go.
18:55Hot rides!
18:56Anyone in the military?
18:57What?
18:59This is ridiculous.
19:00Why should they get to board first?
19:02Just because they were in the military, thank you for your service.
19:05You're all heroes.
19:08Okay, next?
19:09Now it's first class.
19:11Finally.
19:11We welcome our Platinum Club members.
19:17Him? After you.
19:19Platinum Club.
19:20Platinum Club coming through.
19:23My husband is marrying my mother.
19:32All right, knock it off!
19:36Can I have some chocolate milk?
19:41Bring us a glass of chocolate milk.
19:44May I have two, please?
19:46No, you can't!
19:47Bring us two.
19:51Okay, next to aboard, anyone with a pet?
19:54Uh, does the pet have to be here?
19:58No.
19:59Woo!
20:03Oh, perfect.
20:06Oh.
20:08Sam, our hot rags.
20:12They'll be cold.
20:15Just...
20:16We have to be next.
20:24Okay, guy.
20:26Now drink your chocolate milk and tell us about the bombs!
20:30Okay.
20:32Well, you see.
20:36We gotta get out of here!
20:38What the hell are you doing?
20:40Lock down the airport!
20:41Lock down the airport!
20:43And we need paper towels!
20:45Paper towels!
20:46Now!
20:47Okay, now boarding.
20:49Let's see.
20:50First class!
20:51Come on!
20:52Come on!
20:53Boarding all first class passengers.
20:56Come on, baby!
20:57Here we go!
20:58We're out of time!
21:00Oh!
21:01What?
21:02Airport lock down.
21:03Airport lock down.
21:05Go red.
21:05Procedure 21B.
21:07Airport lock down.
21:09What?
21:09My flight is canceled?
21:12No, the flight can take off.
21:13Huh.
21:14But nobody else can board.
21:16What?
21:17What?
21:17You're saying that all the other people who already got on the plane, they get to go to the Bahamas,
21:21but not us?
21:22Seriously?
21:23Seriously.
21:26Why is this happening?
21:28Why?
21:29What are we doing?
21:30Hensel!
21:31There's the timers!
21:33Stop it!
21:43Time for your yeast.
21:45Time for your yeast.
22:15Hmm!
22:16Hmm...
22:17Hmm...
22:18Hmm...
22:18Hmm!
22:20Hmm...
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