- 6 hours ago
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00:16I'll go get us a table.
00:17Hey, you should go with him.
00:20Why?
00:20So you won't be near me.
00:23Sammy, you make such funny jokes.
00:27I'll go with him.
00:30Excuse me.
00:31Excuse me.
00:33Oh, what?
00:34Hi.
00:35Bots is closed.
00:37This is a private party for a little boy's birthday.
00:40We know.
00:41We're invited to the party.
00:42We babysit for little Otis.
00:43Yeah, you big bucket of nuts.
00:47I may be a machine, but I will live forever.
00:51Unlike you humans who will one day all be dead.
00:58Enjoy the party.
01:03Come on.
01:04I'm going to go put my present for Otis on the table with all the other ones.
01:07Ugh.
01:10I can't believe you didn't get Otis a present.
01:13I did.
01:14See?
01:15The card says right here.
01:17From Uncle George.
01:21And Sam.
01:24Come on.
01:30Kind of a boring birthday party.
01:32I'll say.
01:34Poor Otis.
01:35Well, wait till Otis sees us.
01:37He loves us.
01:39Oh, there's Otis.
01:40Oh, yeah.
01:42Otis, my man.
01:47What was that?
01:48What?
01:49I gave the kid a big friendly hay and all I get is...
01:54Oh, I don't even understand this birthday party.
01:57Why aren't the children talking to each other?
02:00Whoa, level 44.
02:02I want 44.
02:07Oh, they're playing Brain Crush.
02:10Oh, yeah.
02:11What's Brain Crush?
02:12You don't know much, do you?
02:15Dates.
02:16Brain Crush is this new game that every kid on Earth is playing.
02:19Not just kids.
02:20Well, how come I never heard of Brain Crush?
02:22Uh, probably because they don't write about it in an elderly magazine.
02:26Sam.
02:27You know, I don't appreciate your comments about how elderly people are not with it.
02:33I'm with it.
02:36Hey, you guys know that you can use your phone to take a picture?
02:40Jeez.
02:41I can't defend you anymore.
02:44Hey, hey, kids.
02:46It's me.
02:48Jugo.
02:51Yay, I love Jugo.
02:53He struggled for the vice president.
02:58Okay, kids.
02:59You see these three wigs on a stick?
03:02Well, check this out.
03:10Now, watch Jugo go.
03:16Oh, my stars.
03:18Look at those whirling wigs.
03:20Look at the kids.
03:21They're not even watching.
03:25Nope, because they're all obsessed with Brain Crush.
03:29Hey, hey, look at me.
03:30Hey, I'm juggling flaming wigs.
03:35See me?
03:37Kid?
03:39Not one kid is even watching him.
03:42This is sad.
03:43Hey, kids.
03:46Kid?
03:47Hey, there's a man right there juggling for your entertainment.
03:51He's worked his whole life for this.
03:54Yeah, give the guy a break.
03:56He probably still lives with his mother in her basement.
03:59He's probably never dated a woman.
04:02Uh, Jugo can hear you.
04:07All these kids care about is playing the dumb game.
04:10It's terrible.
04:12Oh, here comes the birthday cake.
04:14That'll get their attention.
04:16Happy, happy, happy, happy birthday.
04:19Happy, happy, happy, happy birthday.
04:22Everybody wants to wish you a happy birth.
04:28Happy birthday.
04:30Look, kids.
04:32Cake.
04:33Who wants cake?
04:35They don't even want cake.
04:37Oh, come on.
04:38Nobody wants cake?
04:40Hi.
04:41Let me help you out here.
04:50Yeah.
04:52I'm never that far.
04:55No matter where you are.
04:57Believe it.
04:58We can make it come true.
05:00We'll do it our way.
05:03No matter what they say.
05:05Cause no one's gonna do it for you.
05:08Yeah.
05:09But I, I, I, I, I'll never say never.
05:13As long as we keep it together.
05:18Oh, oh, oh, oh.
05:20If you live in a dream and you know what it means.
05:24And you can't let them change your mind.
05:28It's the life that we choose and we still break the rules.
05:32But it's all gonna be just fine.
05:35Yeah, we're all gonna be just fine.
05:40You and me, we're gonna be just fine.
05:49Uh, hey.
05:50Hey, Kat.
05:51Yeah?
05:52I'm trying to get a nail into this door frame here.
05:54Would you grab me a hammer out of that toolbox?
05:56Um.
05:58Hammer, hammer.
06:00No hammer in here.
06:02Well, how am I supposed to pound a nail to the...
06:05No.
06:07Oh!
06:09Sam!
06:11What?
06:13Don't use your head.
06:15Here, use this.
06:18I just asked you if we had one of those.
06:21You asked if we had a hammer.
06:23Well, what do you call that?
06:24A nail banger.
06:27Wait, what's wrong with our door?
06:29Well, I got home and I couldn't find my key.
06:32So I kicked the door in.
06:35What's that black coat for?
06:37Oh, it's a part of my costume for my play tomorrow night.
06:39What play?
06:40I told you, my one-girl show.
06:42Babe-raham Lincoln.
06:45Babe-raham?
06:46Yeah.
06:47All about the life of Abraham Lincoln.
06:49Were he a lady?
06:52Wow, that sounds so great.
06:54I'm not going.
06:56If you come to my play tomorrow night, I'll pop that thing on your back.
07:02Okay.
07:03Yay!
07:04And gross.
07:07All right, I'll see you in a little bit.
07:08Where are you going?
07:09Tell it to the acre so Nona can help me finish my costume and do my laundry.
07:13Won't take much soap to wash this.
07:16Put it back.
07:18Uh, hey, if I put my laundry in a bag and come with you, will Nona do mine too?
07:21Yeah.
07:22Even my stinkables?
07:24We don't use that word.
07:27Stinkables?
07:33Sam, what is all that?
07:35My dirty clothes.
07:37When was the last time you did laundry?
07:40Uh, when did I move in here?
07:43Oh, geez.
07:44Look, instead of judging me, why don't you come over here and pick up a bag?
07:51What's wrong with Dice?
07:52I don't know.
07:54Hey, man, what's up?
07:55Oh, yeah.
07:56Yeah, that's great, thanks.
07:59What are you doing?
08:00No, I'm not hungry.
08:03Hey, give me...
08:05Brain crush?
08:06Oh, my God.
08:09Give me my phone.
08:10I'm almost on level 21.
08:11When did you start playing this stupid game?
08:12Last night.
08:14You look like you haven't slept.
08:16Why would I sleep when I could play brain crush?
08:18Give me my phone.
08:20Yes.
08:21Oh, yeah.
08:22Oh, yeah, come on, crush the brains, crush them.
08:24Come on, Ted Moore, give me more brains to crush.
08:29He's moist.
08:31Why are you all wet?
08:32Uh, I think I might have walked through a car wash.
08:36This game's really fun.
08:37You guys should try it.
08:39I'll try it.
08:39No!
08:40Listen, people get addicted to that game, and it could happen to you.
08:45Then what?
08:46Then, then, your grades at school start to go downhill.
08:50And then you forget to bathe.
08:52And you lose all your friends.
08:54And then you can't even feel anything anymore.
08:58See this?
09:07See?
09:08This game makes you dead in the head.
09:11Poor Dice.
09:12Yeah.
09:14Now let's get to Elderly Acres so Nona can do my laundry.
09:18Wait, don't you have to finish fixing the door first?
09:20Ah, yeah.
09:20I'll just take a sec.
09:25Oh, hey, your phone's about to die.
09:27What?
09:28Stop, my battery!
09:29Give me your charger!
09:30It won't work.
09:31Why not?
09:31Because I have a slightly older phone, so my charger won't work with your phone.
09:35Yeah, why do they do that?
09:37To make us buy more cords.
09:39I gotta go by!
09:41No, no, don't!
09:43Ah!
09:44Oh, Sam!
09:45Your fingers!
09:46Uh-huh!
09:47They're smooshed in the door!
09:49Yes, that's right!
09:51Do you want me to open the door?
09:54Yes, I do!
09:56KK!
10:04KK!
10:09Hurry!
10:09Oh, but this card is so heavy!
10:13Oh, I don't see why you can't walk.
10:16Look at my hands.
10:17My fingers are crushed in these bandages you put me under the size of cabbages.
10:22Just help me out of this thing, would you?
10:23Hey.
10:24Just take my...
10:26That's...
10:26You're not...
10:27You're not helping me.
10:28Right?
10:29I'm trying to...
10:30No.
10:31Oh, my...
10:32Oh, my God.
10:33Oh, my God.
10:34Okay.
10:35Oh, my God.
10:36Ow!
10:42All right.
10:44Now let's find Nona.
10:46Don't make...
10:46So many brains to crush.
10:48Brain crush!
10:50We have to help Nona!
10:51It's too late for Nona!
10:53Well, we've got to try.
10:56Nona, put that game down!
10:58Do my laundry!
11:00So many brains to crush.
11:02So many brains to crush.
11:03She's lost her mind.
11:04Well, we've got to snap her out of it.
11:08This is a really fun game.
11:10You guys should try it.
11:11No!
11:12We need you to play a better game.
11:14It's called doing our laundry.
11:15I just hit level nine.
11:21Oh, my God.
11:22Oh, my God.
11:24We've got to get out of here.
11:25No.
11:25No.
11:25I need you to help me finish my paper handle and get pumped in flames, Nona.
11:28Please help me finish my paper handle.
11:30Is this happening?
11:31What's happening?
11:32What else are you going to do?
11:34Oh, my God.
11:35Oh, my God.
11:36Oh, my God.
11:38Oh, my God.
11:39Oh, my God.
11:40Oh, my God.
11:41Oh, my God.
11:43Oh, my God.
11:47It got insane.
11:48What did we do?
11:49Oh, good.
11:50Oh, cop.
11:51Sir.
11:52Officer, we need you to do something.
11:53My Nona and all these elderly are obsessed with this game called Brain Crush.
11:58Have you heard of it?
11:59Yes.
12:01It's a really fun game.
12:03You guys should try it.
12:06Wait.
12:06What?
12:07Get his utility belt.
12:08Why?
12:08He's got cool stuff on it.
12:09Just do it.
12:10No.
12:18Cat, come change the channel on the TV.
12:21I can't.
12:23I'm putting on my costume.
12:25Hey.
12:28Hey.
12:30Cat, will one of you brain-dead zombies get off your back, futz, and come change the channel?
12:35Gosh, the brains.
12:36Brain Crush.
12:38Purple brains.
12:38Want more?
12:40Ah!
12:41Ah!
12:44Ah!
12:47No!
12:48I wanted to change the channel and not switch from HDMI to composite video.
13:04Look, I'm President Lincoln.
13:08Had he been a lady.
13:11What do you think?
13:13You really want to know?
13:14No.
13:17No, no.
13:18Dice, let's go.
13:21Hey, look at my costume.
13:22I'm Abraham.
13:24Hey!
13:28How do I get them to leave?
13:30Grab their games and run away screaming.
13:33Okay.
13:36Hey, Cat!
13:37Cat, give me my phone!
13:39Give me my phone!
13:40Give me my phone!
13:41Give me that!
13:42Give me that!
13:42Give me that!
13:43Guys, I give her back!
13:45I hate everybody.
13:51That's right!
13:52I used to live in a log cabin, but since I'm a lady, I painted me log cabin pink and
14:00called
14:00it, Abraham's Cabin of Pink Logs!
14:08Hey.
14:10Hey!
14:10Why were you in the bathroom for so long?
14:12Because both my hands are bandaged.
14:14So?
14:15So?
14:22There was a monkey in the bathroom?
14:25Yes, Cat.
14:26I was delayed by a monkey in the bathroom.
14:29I hate it when that happens.
14:36What's all that racket?
14:37There's a karate studio next door for kids.
14:40Karate studio?
14:41Yeah.
14:42They call it a doo-joo.
14:44Dojo.
14:45No.
14:46My friend says they're called doo-joo's.
14:48What friend?
14:49Jojo.
14:50You met him.
14:50Oh, yeah.
14:51The DJ.
14:52Yeah.
14:52And you're sure that DJ Jojo said the dojo's are called doo-joo's?
14:57Cat?
14:58Oh, hi.
15:00Everyone's in their seats.
15:01You can start your show whenever you're ready.
15:03Ah!
15:03All right.
15:04Um, the hell's the audience?
15:05Are they excited?
15:05Why don't you just leave me alone?
15:10All right, kid.
15:11You ready to go out there and put on your dumb little play?
15:13Yeah.
15:16Oh, Sam.
15:17What?
15:18Their pants.
15:19The zipper.
15:21How am I going to work a zipper?
15:24Ask the bathroom monkey.
15:38Um.
15:41Well, tiddle me with.
15:44I'm Babe Graham Lincoln.
15:46Me goodness, it certainly is a lovely evening here tonight in the 1800s.
15:53Why is she doing a British accent?
15:55No idea.
15:57I live in this fine town called Springfield.
16:02And yes, I lived here long before the Simpsons did.
16:10Ha-ha!
16:15So, I built this here cabin out of logs meself, and I painted them pink, I did.
16:31And, uh, every night, I would read meself a book by the fireplace.
16:38Oh, God!
16:41Oh, God!
16:42Too much!
16:43You guys are missing a heck of a show here!
16:47So, one day, I will be president of this boring land, and...
16:55Hello, I'm acting up here!
16:58Uh, get to the point where you get shot in the head, though, like that!
17:02But nobody's even paying attention!
17:04Well, excuse me?
17:06What?
17:06We're playing Brain Crush.
17:08So?
17:09Could you shut up?
17:19All right.
17:20Are you guys happy now?
17:22You made Babe Graham Lincoln cry!
17:25I mean, you know, that's it.
17:27Come here.
17:28Come here.
17:28Come here.
17:29Stop it!
17:30This is not time to play Brain Crush!
17:35Stupid bandages!
17:39There will be a short intermission!
17:44I'm so sorry, Abe.
17:46I tried.
17:48I tried my best, but I failed.
17:50Well, I guess...
17:54I guess theaters are just bad luck for us.
17:59Hey, you okay?
18:02No.
18:04I worked really hard on this play.
18:08And all those stupid people care about us playing stupid Brain Crush.
18:14You're still gonna pop that thing on my back, right?
18:18I'm going home!
18:19No, you're not!
18:21You're gonna go back out there and finish a terrible play!
18:23And make them pay attention!
18:26How?
18:26I mean, normally I'd march right out there and force those jerks to quit playing their games,
18:30but Dice crushed my hands, so I can't exactly...
18:36Wait here.
18:37Fix your makeup.
18:39What?
18:40Why?
18:40What are you gonna do?
18:42You'll see.
18:46Oh, Abe.
18:48Why such a tall hat?
18:57Wait.
18:59All right, people.
19:01This is your last chance.
19:03Are you gonna put your games away and watch cats play or not?
19:06Double 56.
19:08Oh!
19:10Okay.
19:12Cut the motachi!
19:13Cocoa toy!
19:20Stop!
19:21So, go in the wall!
19:22Boco a se!
19:23Ha!
19:24Ha!
19:26Ha!
19:26Ha!
19:27Ha!
19:27Ha!
19:28Yes!
19:29Come on, come on!
19:29Get hers, get hers!
19:30Ha!
19:31Ha!
19:32Ha!
19:33Ha!
19:35Hooray!
19:44Quirk on what Apache!
19:50Chewbacca!
19:52Take hit!
19:53What the?
19:53Yeah, what's she doing?
19:55Get out!
20:00I'll do it!
20:01Yes!
20:03That hair pad.
20:10Goju dogui tanikamasu!
20:11Nani mo, nai yo, atsukare san!
20:17You used the kids from the doo-doo!
20:20Yep.
20:20Now I want you to pull yourself together
20:22and finish doing the worst play that anyone's ever seen!
20:25I'll do it!
20:28Pay attention!
20:32Well, tittle me wings!
20:42Sam, I can't get my beard off!
20:45Why can't you?
20:46Cause I used grizzly glue.
20:48What?!
20:49Grizzly glue is permanent, ya dip!
20:52Oh!
20:52Febbled pie!
20:54Come here, baby!
20:55No, no, what are you gonna...
20:56What?!
20:57Ah!
21:00Smothers Brothers!
21:03That hurts!
21:05I can't believe I got so addicted to Brain Crush!
21:08Me either, but holy mothballs, did I love it!
21:12Everybody loves it!
21:14Yeah, until people get bored with it, then get obsessed with the next dumb game!
21:17Ugh!
21:18I feel so sad for the world!
21:21Why?
21:22Because...
21:22It's so awful how people spend so much time staring at screens!
21:27Playing dumb games, tweeting, texting...
21:30Well, it's terrible!
21:32Yeah!
21:32People have gotten so obsessed with their electronics, they've forgotten to appreciate the real world
21:37that's all around them!
21:39Totally!
21:40That's true!
21:43So what do you guys wanna do?
21:46Watch TV?
21:47Yes!
21:48Yay!
21:49Boy!
21:50You gotta rush it if you wanna flush it!
21:53So drop those pants, cause it's time for...
21:56Toilet War!
21:57Sigh
21:59This week we have a vibrational show of 400 people at the express work where we've dialed-
22:04Is that my toothbrush?
22:06But I own a pink toothbrush that does this!
22:08Teeth.
22:09Teeth.
22:10Teeth.
22:11Teeth.
22:11Teeth.
22:11Teeth.
22:12Teeth.
22:12Teeth.
22:13Teeth.
22:14Teeth.
22:15Teeth.
22:16Teeth.
22:17Teeth.
22:17Teeth.
22:19Teeth.
22:20Teeth.
22:23Teeth.
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