- il y a 11 heures
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00:00:00Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:00:30Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:01:01So, Jillian, Will tells us that you are going to start working at Johnson & Johnson. That's fantastic.
00:01:06Thank you. Yeah, I'm excited to start.
00:01:09Sales analyst sounds so impressive.
00:01:11Junior sales analyst. But the junior's going to be gone by Christmas.
00:01:15Oh, and Will's finally being paid at LA Weekly. Way to go, you two.
00:01:19I know. I told you guys we're a power couple.
00:01:23Will, there's a little something to get you started.
00:01:30Wow. Thanks, Dad. Thanks, Mom.
00:01:34Will, did I ever tell you what my first job was?
00:01:37Was it by any chance stacking crates of tomatoes in a warehouse, Dad?
00:01:40Correct. Must have been 100 degrees in that warehouse.
00:01:44You know what got me through?
00:01:45I'm gonna go with air conditioning.
00:01:46Air conditioning.
00:01:48There was one office that was air conditioned high above the floor.
00:01:53It was for the warehouse supervisor.
00:01:55And I told myself right then and there,
00:01:58I don't know how I'm gonna do it, but I'm going to get to that office.
00:02:02Didn't that guy have a heart attack, Dad?
00:02:04It was an aneurysm.
00:02:06The point is, I worked my way up until I was in charge of the entire North American supply chain.
00:02:11I am proof there's nothing you can't achieve.
00:02:15Exactly.
00:02:16And that's why I'm saying this LA Weekly thing is really just a springboard for me.
00:02:19Because, I mean, I'm gonna dominate their web edition.
00:02:21I've got videos, live blogging, interactive content.
00:02:24I'm building my brand.
00:02:26Brand.
00:02:35You spent the money on a TV?
00:02:37Yeah, Jillian, that's one of the largest televisions available on the market today.
00:02:40It's 70 inches.
00:02:42What?
00:02:43You want to know why we're not living together?
00:02:45Exhibit A.
00:02:46Boo!
00:02:47Hey, Jayla, was that your sister at graduation?
00:02:50No.
00:02:51Are you sure?
00:02:52I saw her, like, hugging your parents and giving your dad a little...
00:02:55I mean, can I get her phone numbers?
00:02:57Is this the I stalk you?
00:02:59Uh, it's the I search you.
00:03:00If you could just mind your business.
00:03:01What is I stalk you?
00:03:03The I search you?
00:03:05It's just an app that I'm developing.
00:03:07Say there's a person that you want to find, but they don't want to be found, right?
00:03:10Okay?
00:03:10Like, there's this girl, and you've called her a million times, and she just won't return
00:03:13your messages.
00:03:14My app allows you to send them a text message and, woo, receive back their exact location.
00:03:21So there's nowhere to hide, Jillian's sister.
00:03:24Nowhere.
00:03:25No, you cannot have her number.
00:03:27I'll find your sister.
00:03:29You're going to end up in iJail getting iRaped.
00:03:31And now I'm going to handle the iStock IPO.
00:03:34Oh.
00:03:35Oh.
00:03:36Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:03:38You don't even have a job.
00:03:39I got a business degree.
00:03:40Unlike Brokenuts over here, I have marketable skills.
00:03:43Unlike you, Brokenuts has a job.
00:03:45I have nine interviews this week.
00:03:46like, today is Morgan Stanley's, a Great Pacific.
00:03:56I love y'all.
00:03:57Get your lives together.
00:03:59Good luck.
00:04:00Good luck.
00:04:01Um, excuse me, ma'am?
00:04:03Uh, would you like to be my guest?
00:04:05Hi.
00:04:06Have we met?
00:04:07I'm Jillian.
00:04:08Boo!
00:04:09Stop booing me, Charlie!
00:04:11Just one time.
00:04:12Just smoke with me.
00:04:13Make an exception.
00:04:14We're celebrating.
00:04:15Charlie got a job today.
00:04:17Oh, McDonald's or Taco Bell.
00:04:19Ooh.
00:04:22Middle school chemistry teacher.
00:04:25Why?
00:04:27I weep for our future.
00:04:45Fuck me in the ass.
00:04:47Fuck me!
00:04:53Hey, Brian.
00:04:56Hey, Will.
00:04:57Looking good, buddy.
00:05:00We don't have a job for you.
00:05:03What do you mean?
00:05:04I mean, we don't have a job for you.
00:05:06We've downsized.
00:05:09Yeah, but I'm perfect for this job.
00:05:11I'm sorry, Will.
00:05:13Thank you very much.
00:05:15Look, Brian, I got three webisodes already to upload.
00:05:17Uh, where to find the best beef machaca,
00:05:19how to bike the L.A. River,
00:05:20and why Ultimate Frisbee is more complex than chess.
00:05:22You're not alone.
00:05:23I had to let eight people go last week.
00:05:27Why didn't you tell me?
00:05:30Honestly, with everything going on around here,
00:05:31I just, I forgot.
00:05:33Good.
00:05:37You forgot.
00:05:39I spent two summers interning here for free
00:05:41so that I could have a job waiting for me after graduation,
00:05:43and you forgot.
00:05:45Look, I've already told everybody about this job.
00:05:46I told my friends and my family and my parents about this job,
00:05:49and you forgot.
00:05:50Well, guess what, Brian?
00:05:51You can't do this kind of shit, man.
00:05:53I deserve to be treated a little better than this.
00:05:55And I think you owe me a little more than I forgot.
00:06:02Well, uh, I don't owe you shit.
00:06:13Systems administrator?
00:06:15Well, nuclear pipe technician.
00:06:18Well, you haven't laid that much pipe, so...
00:06:21I've laid a lot of pipe, Charles.
00:06:22Ask your mother.
00:06:23Burn.
00:06:24Sick burn.
00:06:26Unemployment benefits administrator.
00:06:27Yeah, dude, that one won't be ironic.
00:06:31It's not ironic if it's all the time.
00:06:33You know, it's all the time.
00:06:34Ball taps and kills.
00:06:37Don't play dirty, man.
00:06:38Don't play dirty.
00:06:39Oh, shit.
00:06:41Dude, I honestly have no idea what any of this shit means.
00:06:44Well, you better figure it out soon.
00:06:45The rent is due Friday.
00:06:47I know.
00:06:47I just need something to keep the lights on
00:06:49until I find my dream job.
00:06:51I don't think you can monetize masturbation.
00:06:55That's too good.
00:06:57Oh, here's something in the hospitality industry.
00:07:00You don't have any sort of medical degree.
00:07:13Okay, there's a gun in the drawer,
00:07:15but you probably won't need it.
00:07:17All right.
00:07:18Good night, kid.
00:07:23There are Negroes on this boat.
00:07:27I'm sorry to hear that.
00:07:31You the new guy?
00:07:33Uh, yeah, I am new.
00:07:35Ski-Z-D.
00:07:37Will.
00:07:40Three rooms.
00:07:42Keep the change.
00:07:44Girl, you better treat this man right.
00:07:46He was in Vietnam.
00:07:49Korea.
00:07:50Get in there and bust a nut, Hawkeye Piers.
00:07:53Damn.
00:07:55Cheryl's one of my best girls.
00:07:58Hard worker?
00:07:59That pussy comes correct.
00:08:02Where'd you meet her?
00:08:03Met her at my last gig.
00:08:05Which, where was I?
00:08:07Borders.
00:08:10Hmm.
00:08:11Like Borders, Borders bookstore.
00:08:13Listen, man,
00:08:14ain't shit went sideways, okay?
00:08:16Everybody was out of work.
00:08:17I had to get out of there real quick.
00:08:18So why, uh, Ski-Z-D?
00:08:24Men who hire prostitutes
00:08:26aren't paying them for sex, Will.
00:08:28They're paying for danger.
00:08:32They're paying to feel alive.
00:08:36Hey, motherfucker,
00:08:37you better pay my bitch what you owe.
00:08:43They're paying for a certain
00:08:46joie de vivre.
00:08:48Joie de vivre.
00:08:50That's French.
00:09:12I'm not resisting arrest, okay?
00:09:13I'm not resisting arrest, okay?
00:09:15I'm not resisting arrest.
00:09:16I'm not.
00:09:17I'm not.
00:09:18I'm not.
00:09:19Hey, bitch,
00:09:20we had a deal.
00:09:21You were renting out rooms
00:09:22to hookers?
00:09:23Ski-Z said they were here
00:09:24every night.
00:09:24No, no,
00:09:25that's not the kind of establishment
00:09:26I'm running here.
00:09:27Read the sign there, kid.
00:09:28It says no prostitution.
00:09:29That clearly includes hookers.
00:09:32You're fired.
00:09:35I'm sorry, officer.
00:09:36I just gotta be a little more careful
00:09:37about who I hire.
00:09:38You do that?
00:09:39Yeah.
00:09:39We'll do.
00:09:40We'll do.
00:09:40Thanks for everything you do, officer.
00:09:45Yeah, sorry, kid.
00:09:46This shit rolls downhill,
00:09:47you know what I'm saying?
00:09:48You get it.
00:09:49You get it.
00:09:50You'll be all right.
00:09:53Son of a bitch.
00:09:59Hey, uh, dad?
00:10:01Hmm?
00:10:02I gotta ask you for money.
00:10:05Will, you're a grown-up now.
00:10:07I'm not gonna give you any more money.
00:10:09Dad, I mean, what am I supposed to do?
00:10:11You want me to go sell my body on the street?
00:10:12Oh, enough of the life lessons here, man.
00:10:15I am broke.
00:10:16I literally have no money for anything else.
00:10:18I lost my job.
00:10:23Are you serious?
00:10:25Right so.
00:10:29Well, what happened?
00:10:32Apparently, I was so successful
00:10:34at streamlining the beverage supply chain
00:10:37that I made my own job obsolete.
00:10:40Hmm.
00:10:42So, what are you gonna do?
00:10:44I'm going to get a job.
00:10:46I'm going to follow my ABCs,
00:10:48stay positive.
00:10:49and in the interim, look,
00:10:52I can tackle all the chores
00:10:53I've never had time for.
00:11:08You guys gotta get your lives together.
00:11:11Top 1%.
00:11:12Here I come, baby.
00:11:15Hey, this guy got a job.
00:11:17Let's go on top-deck securities.
00:11:19I start clerking next month.
00:11:21If I kick ass,
00:11:22I'll be making trades by December.
00:11:24From this point on,
00:11:25it's gonna be coffee and cocaine for me, baby.
00:11:28Will you take change for dollars?
00:11:30You know, I'm gonna keep it.
00:11:31You worked hard.
00:11:32You've got an incredible amount of torque.
00:11:37You deserve so much more money than this,
00:11:40but I'm on a teacher's salary.
00:11:42Hey.
00:11:44Hey.
00:11:46If you want to see the show,
00:11:47you've got to pay for it.
00:11:48Oh, no, I'm just here for the free buffet.
00:11:51The buffet is free
00:11:52because you're supposed to be spending money on me.
00:11:55Yeah.
00:11:56Kimmy, are you helping him out
00:11:57with his Twitter feed, too?
00:11:59Oh, Raj doesn't need any help.
00:12:00Yeah, I think Raj needs a little bit of help.
00:12:03My friend Jim lost his mother yesterday.
00:12:06LOL, Jim.
00:12:08Why?
00:12:08Lots of love.
00:12:10It's okay.
00:12:11You want another one, Raj?
00:12:13Keep them coming.
00:12:13Oh, one for a wheel, too, please?
00:12:15Oh, yeah.
00:12:15I'm okay, wherever you are.
00:12:17So, what's up?
00:12:19Well, my supervisor's back from leave,
00:12:21and she is a total ball buster.
00:12:22I mean, she was on my ass about my emails
00:12:24and my Facebook page
00:12:25and how I dress in front of everybody.
00:12:26It was humiliating.
00:12:28Wait, this isn't how you dress at work, is it?
00:12:31Dad, I'm the video guy.
00:12:32Who cares what I look like?
00:12:33Look, just stop, okay?
00:12:36Stop for a second.
00:12:37Your clients pay $30,000 for your services.
00:12:42They care what you look like.
00:12:44You need to conform to their standards,
00:12:45not the other way around.
00:12:46And the fact that you can't grasp that
00:12:49is mind-boggling.
00:12:52What is up with you?
00:12:53What is up with me is
00:12:55I've sent out hundreds of resumes
00:12:57and I've gotten only three interviews.
00:12:59What is up with me is
00:13:00I don't want to hear you bitch and moan
00:13:02that your employer makes you act
00:13:04in a professional manner.
00:13:06That is what's up with me.
00:13:07Okay, Dad, well, look,
00:13:08I'm sorry for telling you how I feel.
00:13:09I didn't know just because I have a job
00:13:11and you don't that you wouldn't listen to me.
00:13:12Oh, I'm listening, all right,
00:13:14but all I hear is a spoiled little brat.
00:13:18Okay.
00:13:22You look like Billy Mays.
00:13:26I look like Willie Mays.
00:13:28Go, Mimi.
00:13:29Wait, did you pull that for me?
00:13:32Go to Papa.
00:13:45Yo, hey, hurry up.
00:13:46Get in the car.
00:13:46He's at Millennium Plaza.
00:13:49How do you know?
00:13:52I stalk you, motherfucker.
00:14:03You can't wait here, sir.
00:14:05Why don't you find a Starbucks?
00:14:07And why don't you find a...
00:14:08My cock box.
00:14:09Hmm?
00:14:11Sorry.
00:14:12I don't want to go for it.
00:14:15Where are we going?
00:14:16Where are we going?
00:14:16Uh, it's Shane.
00:14:17He's, like, around?
00:14:20Go, go, go, go.
00:14:20This is not fun.
00:14:26Hey, hey, that's my dad.
00:14:31Will.
00:14:32Whatever he did,
00:14:32if you just let him go,
00:14:33I promise I'll get him home safely.
00:14:36Look, please, sir,
00:14:37don't embarrass him anymore.
00:14:40Please.
00:14:46Go on, Mr. Davis.
00:14:48Thank you.
00:14:54Damn it.
00:14:55That's...
00:14:56That's gentry.
00:14:58That's him.
00:14:59That's the...
00:15:00decision.
00:15:01I'll hook you up with some rockin' Moroccan.
00:15:02It's like legal hash.
00:15:04Oh.
00:15:05I'm Cammie.
00:15:06What's your name?
00:15:07Roger.
00:15:08Roger that.
00:15:10Oh, uh, to go, please.
00:15:14Hello?
00:15:16Oh, hey.
00:15:17Hi, honey.
00:15:18How are you?
00:15:20I'm at the office.
00:15:23Oh, that music.
00:15:24Yeah, well, I...
00:15:25That's...
00:15:25That's, uh...
00:15:27You know, Jerry,
00:15:28he's just trying to jazz up his...
00:15:30I should get back to that meeting.
00:15:32I'll see you in a few hours, okay?
00:15:34I love you, too.
00:15:35Bye.
00:15:39Uh...
00:15:40Where's my wife?
00:15:43Well, look, we have, uh,
00:15:45free Wi-Fi and three-prong outlets
00:15:47out the wazoo.
00:15:49So...
00:15:52And, uh,
00:15:53don't worry, Reg.
00:15:55No one here has a job.
00:16:03Thank you.
00:16:04Thank you.
00:16:23You children may begin.
00:16:25Now,
00:16:26the goal of this experiment
00:16:28is to create an even coating,
00:16:30no excess charring,
00:16:32and no cold spots.
00:16:34I mean it, Dajon.
00:16:36And remember,
00:16:37don't stare in the flame for too long
00:16:38because it will...
00:16:40steal your soul.
00:16:43Let me see that.
00:16:45Yeah.
00:16:51Mmm.
00:16:55That is...
00:16:56close to perfection.
00:16:58Mr. Baxter?
00:16:59Stop calling me that.
00:17:01It's Charlie, okay?
00:17:03Okay, uh,
00:17:05Charlie?
00:17:06Why do all our experiments
00:17:08involve making food?
00:17:10I get the munchies
00:17:11after free period.
00:17:13Any more questions,
00:17:15Sergeant Buzzkill?
00:17:18Mr. Baxter?
00:17:19It's Charlie!
00:17:20My sixth grade basketball coach
00:17:22just quit.
00:17:23You interested in a position?
00:17:24I'm sorry,
00:17:25do I look like someone
00:17:25with free time
00:17:26on his hands?
00:17:27It's an extra hundred a week.
00:17:31They will prosper
00:17:32under my tutelage!
00:17:34Ah!
00:17:39Tanya Sellers,
00:17:40Human Resources.
00:17:41Sorry it took me so long
00:17:42to get back to you.
00:17:43We received close to
00:17:43a thousand resumes
00:17:44for the videographer position.
00:17:46I was just glad
00:17:46that you called.
00:17:48Catherine Dunn oversees
00:17:49our video services,
00:17:50but she's in China
00:17:51on a leadership conference,
00:17:52so you get a nonstop flight
00:17:54to the decision-maker himself,
00:17:56Lawrence Wilheimer.
00:17:57He's a legend
00:17:58in executive placement.
00:17:59He revolutionized the game.
00:18:00Make sure you check out
00:18:01his package.
00:18:02His retirement package?
00:18:03His package package.
00:18:05He's home like a fucking minotaur.
00:18:12William Davis.
00:18:14Yes, sir?
00:18:15Best experience
00:18:16in all aspects
00:18:18of video production.
00:18:20Could you elaborate on that?
00:18:22Well, sir,
00:18:23for the past seven years,
00:18:24I've been producing
00:18:24original video content
00:18:25for YouTube.
00:18:27YouTube?
00:18:28Yes, sir.
00:18:30I think that YouTube
00:18:30is the perfect training ground
00:18:32for producing video resumes
00:18:33that really stand out
00:18:34from the crowd.
00:18:35And clients of
00:18:36Southern California's
00:18:37premier executive placement firm
00:18:39deserve those kind of resumes.
00:18:40Ones that grab
00:18:41the employer's attention
00:18:41don't let go,
00:18:42even if they say uncle.
00:18:44So, hire William Davis
00:18:46and your clients will
00:18:50hire William Davis
00:18:51and your clients
00:18:53will rise above
00:18:53the rest of the...
00:18:55I'm so sorry about that.
00:18:56Hire William Davis
00:18:57and your clients
00:18:58will rise above
00:18:59and that's what you want, right?
00:19:03My girlfriend and I
00:19:04are having a fight.
00:19:04Do you mind if I...
00:19:07What could be more important?
00:19:10Thank you, sir.
00:19:11That's what I was saying.
00:19:15And so,
00:19:16oh, where were we?
00:19:18I was showing you the door,
00:19:20Mr. Davis.
00:19:21That's it over there.
00:19:26Okay.
00:19:27Uh, thank you.
00:19:32Uh, look, sir,
00:19:33I mean, I don't think...
00:19:34I don't know if this is
00:19:35the exact subject matter
00:19:36that you're looking for,
00:19:37but I think that this really
00:19:38showcases my abilities
00:19:39to recognize what's unique
00:19:40about an individual
00:19:41and how to foreground that
00:19:43for the marketplace.
00:19:46What is your business philosophy?
00:19:50It is all about
00:19:51customer satisfaction.
00:19:53We are basically
00:19:54the Burlington Coat factory
00:19:56of bitches.
00:19:57I got bitches on layaway,
00:19:59you know what I'm saying,
00:20:00for $5.99.
00:20:02You can mark down a bitch.
00:20:03All right, hey, just,
00:20:05you know, be careful with it, man.
00:20:07I really don't like these guys.
00:20:09I don't trust them with this TV.
00:20:10Watch your fingerprints?
00:20:11Are you serious?
00:20:12That's a big boy TV.
00:20:13Come on, man.
00:20:14Use an HDMI cord.
00:20:15Don't use...
00:20:16Thanks, bro.
00:20:17Take care of my TV, bro.
00:20:21Yeah, this is Will.
00:20:22Will.
00:20:23Tanya from Wilheimer.
00:20:25Are you calling
00:20:25about my interview?
00:20:26Sure am.
00:20:28Mr. Wilheimer
00:20:29are pressing charges.
00:20:30You're in.
00:20:31Tanya?
00:20:31What?
00:20:32You're in.
00:20:33Starting salary is $26,000.
00:20:35Partial health says
00:20:36it's taken after 90 days.
00:20:38Wait, are you saying
00:20:39that I have a job?
00:20:40That's what I'm saying.
00:20:40Oh, yo!
00:20:41Wait, wait, wait!
00:20:45Hello?
00:20:46You've got good news.
00:20:49How will he get the job
00:20:50as soon as he passes
00:20:51a drug test?
00:20:52Drug test?
00:20:53Multiple choice?
00:20:56Woo.
00:20:56Hey, what's up, guy?
00:21:01What's going on?
00:21:02I got a job.
00:21:04Hey!
00:21:05That's great!
00:21:07I know.
00:21:08It's at this place
00:21:08called Wilheimer.
00:21:09They do job placement.
00:21:10Oh, yeah.
00:21:11I've heard good things.
00:21:13I just need one thing
00:21:16and I'm good to go.
00:21:19You're smoking pot.
00:21:20I'm an occasional user.
00:21:21I never smoke and drown.
00:21:22You want me to urinate
00:21:24into this bottle
00:21:25so that you can pass
00:21:26a drug test?
00:21:27God damn it.
00:21:28Dad, look,
00:21:28there's no one else
00:21:29I can ask.
00:21:30I'm hanging by a thread
00:21:31with Jillian,
00:21:31plus they might be able
00:21:32to screen for gender.
00:21:33Ethan is tainted,
00:21:34Luke is unclean,
00:21:35and Charlie is radioactive.
00:21:37What am I supposed to do?
00:21:38Get new friends.
00:21:39I have a job.
00:21:41I have a real job
00:21:42for a real company,
00:21:42the kind of job
00:21:43that you've been bugging me
00:21:44to get for years.
00:21:44And if I don't produce
00:21:45an immaculate cup of urine,
00:21:47it's back to the
00:21:48unemployment line.
00:21:49Is that what you want?
00:21:49No, it's not what I want,
00:21:51you know that.
00:21:52I just,
00:21:53I just don't feel
00:21:54comfortable doing this.
00:21:55Okay.
00:21:57Air conditioning,
00:21:58so.
00:21:59No.
00:22:00It was 100 degrees
00:22:00in that warehouse,
00:22:01and you did whatever it took
00:22:02to get off the floor,
00:22:03and that's what I'm doing.
00:22:04That's what I'm doing.
00:22:05I'm doing what you told me.
00:22:35What happened to you?
00:22:36Hey, I just pulled a hammy.
00:22:39Pound a box.
00:22:40What?
00:22:41Pound a box.
00:22:42Putting in that pussy.
00:22:43Giving it to her.
00:22:44Yeah.
00:22:45Nah, I was just,
00:22:46hitting the gym.
00:22:48Hitting those weights.
00:22:50Hey.
00:22:51Ready to make it rain?
00:22:52Ready as I'll ever be.
00:22:57Oh, what are you doing?
00:22:59I'm required to be in here
00:23:00in case you try
00:23:01some monkey business.
00:23:03Uh, okay.
00:23:04You gotta come
00:23:05in the stall with me, too?
00:23:06Oof.
00:23:07No stall, baby doll.
00:23:08You gotta rock out
00:23:08with that cock out.
00:23:09Let's be right behind here.
00:23:10Listening post.
00:23:11Okay, um,
00:23:12I kind of have a shy bladder.
00:23:15Oh, that's too bad,
00:23:17because you have
00:23:1830 seconds starting now.
00:23:23If you're having trouble,
00:23:25water falls.
00:23:29Like, fire hoses
00:23:30just blasting water out.
00:23:45I'm a squirter,
00:23:46but only if I'm, like,
00:23:47comfortable in the person.
00:23:49Oh.
00:23:5010,
00:23:5110,
00:23:529,
00:23:538,
00:23:557,
00:23:576,
00:23:585.
00:23:59All right,
00:23:59that's enough.
00:24:00I'm coming in.
00:24:01Got it!
00:24:04Oh, silver.
00:24:08Oh, silver.
00:24:09Oh, wow.
00:24:11Whew.
00:24:17Oh, my God.
00:24:19Oh, shit.
00:24:20Whew.
00:24:21Man, I should get a job
00:24:23more often.
00:24:24Fuck yeah.
00:24:25Fuck yeah.
00:24:25That was awesome.
00:24:28I have something else for you.
00:24:29Back door?
00:24:30Huh.
00:24:31Yeah, I'll go get my strap on.
00:24:32Okay.
00:24:33You love it?
00:24:37What is this?
00:24:43Oh.
00:24:44Can I see it?
00:24:46Yeah.
00:24:46Yeah, of course.
00:24:49Oh, baby.
00:24:53My unique skill set
00:24:55allows me
00:24:55to seamlessly integrate
00:24:57into a range
00:24:57of management structures
00:24:59which makes me
00:25:00highly employable
00:25:01in today's marketplace.
00:25:04Mainly,
00:25:05I found that
00:25:05dealing with people
00:25:06was my best skill.
00:25:08I have
00:25:09a lot of charisma.
00:25:13An ordinary man
00:25:15takes everything
00:25:16as a blessing
00:25:16or a curse.
00:25:17A warrior
00:25:18takes it
00:25:20as a challenge.
00:25:21Um,
00:25:23who are you?
00:25:34Exciting stuff.
00:25:36Yeah,
00:25:36it's riveting.
00:25:38Just follow
00:25:39the boilerplate
00:25:40and you'll be fine.
00:25:41Clients choose
00:25:42from three backgrounds.
00:25:44Skyline.
00:25:45There's also
00:25:46corner office
00:25:47and bookshelf.
00:25:50corner office
00:25:51and bookshelf.
00:25:51Got it.
00:25:56I made a video
00:25:57in here once.
00:26:00I'm not the only one.
00:26:02Okay.
00:26:03Thank you.
00:26:04Thank you.
00:26:05Oh, Mr. Wilheimer.
00:26:06I wanted to thank you
00:26:07for this opportune moment.
00:26:08Oh, well,
00:26:08always on the lookout
00:26:09for fresh talent.
00:26:10Well,
00:26:11just one thing.
00:26:12Could you put me
00:26:13in touch with that fellow
00:26:14from your video?
00:26:16The...
00:26:20Yes, sir,
00:26:21in six months
00:26:21to a year.
00:26:24Depending on
00:26:25good behavior.
00:26:40What the fuck?
00:26:42What the fuck?
00:26:45How is it possible
00:26:47to be this bad?
00:26:48Ball.
00:26:51Okay.
00:26:53Quan,
00:26:54let's review
00:26:54the basics.
00:26:56Give and go.
00:27:00Jesus Christ.
00:27:06Big stuff.
00:27:07Anyone ever show
00:27:08you how to set a pick?
00:27:09No.
00:27:15Get ready
00:27:15to bring some pain.
00:27:25Hamilton.
00:27:27Come on.
00:27:29This
00:27:31is deer scent.
00:27:33I use it out
00:27:33in the wild
00:27:34when I hunt.
00:27:35I use it in here
00:27:38when I think
00:27:39a clerk
00:27:39is ready
00:27:40for his very own
00:27:41desk.
00:27:43Drink it.
00:27:44Five hundred bucks
00:27:45in real quick.
00:27:49Hold it.
00:27:52I'm gonna go ahead
00:27:53and let him
00:27:53make up his own mind.
00:27:56Do you want
00:27:56your own desk?
00:27:58Or do you want
00:27:59to be a fucking
00:27:59clerk the rest
00:28:00of your life?
00:28:03Your call.
00:28:17two to one
00:28:17he drinks
00:28:18the deer cum.
00:28:21Deer cum?
00:28:23Drink it.
00:28:24Drink the deer cum.
00:28:26Deer cum.
00:28:27Deer cum.
00:28:28Deer cum!
00:28:29Deer cum!
00:28:31Deer cum!
00:28:32Deer cum!
00:28:33Deer cum!
00:28:33Deer cum!
00:28:34Deer cum!
00:28:35Deer cum!
00:28:36Deer cum!
00:28:37Deer cum!
00:28:38Deer cum!
00:28:46Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa!
00:28:48Uh-oh!
00:28:49I think it's coming back.
00:28:51Five hundred buck,
00:28:52this is gonna hurl.
00:28:53Oh, yeah.
00:28:55C'est bon, c'est bon, c'est bon.
00:29:23C'est bon, c'est bon.
00:29:53C'est bon, c'est bon.
00:29:56C'est bon.
00:29:58Oh my god.
00:29:59Dude, I found some extra tubing in my chem class.
00:30:02I put my little boys and girls to work.
00:30:03Nice.
00:30:04What's the special occasion?
00:30:05Yeah, we celebrate me getting a desk.
00:30:07Oh, that's right.
00:30:08And me buying an island.
00:30:10You're not buying an island.
00:30:11No?
00:30:11No.
00:30:11Because I met someone who knows Warren Buffett's bridge partner.
00:30:14I'm gonna offer him some stock for my company in exchange for Warren Buffett's cell phone number.
00:30:18I'm gonna I search you, Warren Buffett, pitch you my app, gain access to billions of dollars
00:30:23in venture capital, buy my island, and populate it with porn stars.
00:30:28I'm sorry, I doubted you.
00:30:29No, you didn't know the plan.
00:30:30I didn't know.
00:30:31I didn't know the plan.
00:30:31Oh, no, no.
00:30:34Rick.
00:30:34What's up, man?
00:30:39Oh, Will, this is Katherine Dunn, vice president of our client services.
00:30:44It's good to have you back.
00:30:46Get ready to have your mind blown, because I'm taking video resumes to the next level.
00:30:50Okay?
00:30:51Ready for this?
00:30:57People think accountants are a bunch of number-crunching nerds, but I'm a jazz buff.
00:31:02I like to think of the tax code as my instrument.
00:31:33I'm Tom Wilson at TomWilsonAccountant.com.
00:31:42That was quite impactful.
00:31:44So, what do we think?
00:31:46I think it makes him seem youthful.
00:31:48Yeah, until now, I always thought of Tom as a total dud.
00:31:53This is an executive placement firm, Mr. Davis, not MTV.
00:31:58Yeah, nobody's gonna hire this guy because of his personality.
00:32:02Uh, he needs to look professional.
00:32:04Everyone's always loved the old resumes, so...
00:32:08You seem to have mistaken this video as an opportunity to express yourself, Mr. Davis.
00:32:14From now on, you're...
00:32:31Expectative Top of the day.
00:32:32Da, da, da, da...
00:32:35Aaaaaa...
00:32:35Speaker 1, 2, 2, 1...
00:32:39Speaker 2, 2, 2...
00:32:39Speaker 2, two, 1...
00:32:40Cap port games is a professor, very quiet and distant.
00:32:42Agh...
00:32:43They're a mówi facel koll was quelque.
00:32:44He was interesting with occupancy per the gentleman.
00:32:45It can't stop them.
00:32:46You've realized I didn't.
00:32:46Why did he get involved?
00:32:46Oh! Oh!
00:32:48C'est parti!
00:32:56Go!
00:33:02Je suis la capitaine de l'Ultimate Frisbee.
00:33:04C'est parti!
00:33:06Hold it! Hold it!
00:33:09Hold it! Hold it!
00:33:10Oh, merci!
00:33:11Oh! Hold it!
00:33:23Mr. Gentry, my name is Roger Davis.
00:33:25Stay away from me.
00:33:26I'll call security.
00:33:28They know I'm here.
00:33:29Now, sir, I know you must think that I'm psychotic.
00:33:32I'm not psychotic.
00:33:34I'm just a man driven to desperation.
00:33:39Wilheimer has an 85% placement rate, Mr. Davis.
00:33:43Yeah. How do you think we make that number?
00:33:45Well, I...
00:33:46That's a rhetorical question.
00:33:47While everyone else is out there wasting their time meeting mid-level HR hacks,
00:33:54Wilheimer will be putting you in front of the person who can pull the trigger and actually hire you.
00:34:04The decision maker.
00:34:05The decision maker.
00:34:09That's right.
00:34:09I like it.
00:34:11Well...
00:34:11Bottom line...
00:34:13Mm-hmm.
00:34:13How much are we talking?
00:34:14No.
00:34:15The platinum package is a one-time fee of $30,000.
00:34:23Sorry.
00:34:25No, seriously.
00:34:26How much are we talking?
00:34:38No, seriously.
00:34:40How much are we talking?
00:34:41For who are you at the time that could win?
00:34:41Yeah.
00:34:41I love you and get them from được.
00:34:56Hey there.
00:34:58Tough day.
00:34:59What?
00:35:01No, no no no.
00:35:04A tough day is just an unrealized great day.
00:35:09Well, then I am going to
00:35:11I was there for the buffet
00:35:16You are an employee of this company, Mr. Davis
00:35:22Your behavior must conform to the exacting standards of the Wilheimer Executive Placement Firm
00:35:29Is that understood?
00:35:31Understood
00:35:32Understood?
00:35:33Understood
00:35:39Hi, Pearl, Roger Davis
00:35:41Is Mr. Gentry in?
00:35:43He's not
00:35:44Okay, um, do you know if he's had a chance to look at my resume yet?
00:35:50Regional Distribution Manager Scanner and Disk Duplicator Division?
00:35:55No
00:35:57Okay
00:35:59Um, do you know if he received the package of Rockin' Moroccan coffee
00:36:04That, oh, hello
00:36:06Okay, why don't you hang up first?
00:36:12Hey!
00:36:13Hey
00:36:14Hi, buddy
00:36:16Come on in to my office here, huh?
00:36:19Cammie, Cammie, come on over
00:36:21This is Will
00:36:22Will, this is my friend Cammie
00:36:24Hey, Will
00:36:25How's the job working out?
00:36:26Uh, it's good
00:36:27Good
00:36:29Dad, what'd you do to your beard?
00:36:31Well, I lost two jobs in a week to people in their 30s
00:36:34So Cammie volunteered to make me look 10 years younger
00:36:39Gothic Raven, what do you think?
00:36:41I don't know
00:36:44I guess I found a loophole
00:36:46Your friend's got an attitude
00:36:49He's out of work
00:36:50So buy him a lap band to cheer him up
00:37:02Oh, hey, look, uh, I have a girlfriend
00:37:05We've got a wheel
00:37:09So, are you looking for a job?
00:37:11Yeah
00:37:12What would you do if you won the lottery and never had to work again?
00:37:17Uh, I don't know
00:37:18What's your passion?
00:37:20What do you love to do?
00:37:22Um, I like to make funny YouTube videos
00:37:25Oh, if you like making YouTube videos, why aren't you looking for corporate video work?
00:37:30Corporate?
00:37:31Yeah, I don't do corporate
00:37:33Listen, babe
00:37:35When you're first starting out
00:37:37You gotta stay flexible
00:37:48Do you know what we do here, Hamilton?
00:37:50Face Docs
00:37:50Wrong, we make money
00:37:53This is Hamilton
00:37:55He is clerking for us
00:37:57I had to shit can that other douchebag
00:37:59Because, well, I couldn't stand looking at his face anymore
00:38:02Put all your orders in through him
00:38:04Wait, I get to put in orders?
00:38:06More than you can imagine
00:38:07Hell yeah
00:38:10Go across the street, give me three triple espressos
00:38:12Put three sugars in each one
00:38:13Now that's splendid shit, I want the real thing
00:38:15Go to Fatburger, get me 12 XXLs with extra cheese
00:38:18Use 12 chili cheese fat fries
00:38:19Nine milkshakes
00:38:20Hey, go to 7-Eleven
00:38:21You can get 25 black cherry lottery tickets, right?
00:38:2315 grand top prize
00:38:25You scratch them all
00:38:26Start from the bottom
00:38:27Odd numbers first
00:38:28Go, go, go, go
00:38:30Go, go, go
00:38:33And I better fucking win
00:38:38What are you doing?
00:38:39I need a sexy video for you
00:38:41Yeah, I don't think so
00:38:43I made an appointment to donate sperm
00:38:45What?
00:38:47Your best idea
00:38:48Mays?
00:38:48You look like Billy Mays
00:38:49Who's Billy Mays?
00:38:52If you're gonna tell someone off, make it clear!
00:39:07What do you think?
00:39:10Hot
00:39:11Very, very hot
00:39:15They're Prada
00:39:17They were $779
00:39:21I know
00:39:22I just
00:39:25I just want them to take me seriously at work
00:39:27Everybody takes you seriously
00:39:31They do
00:39:31Yes, they do
00:39:34Sophomore year
00:39:35We're running Ultimate Frisbee drills down in the lounge
00:39:40Ethan comes in and says that there's a situation that I need to handle downstairs
00:39:44So I go downstairs
00:39:46And I see this tiny little person
00:39:49In pajamas
00:39:50And slippers
00:39:52And she is so, so angry
00:39:56Um, I was trying to study
00:39:59The moment that I saw you, I knew that you were someone to take seriously
00:40:07What are you gonna do about work, Will?
00:40:26Up early in the morning just to get a hold of that bread
00:40:29It must be a reason why they call you Hustler
00:40:31With all that game with the junior head
00:40:33Work all day, hustle all night
00:40:35At the end of the month that money's spent though
00:40:37Work it out, overtime
00:40:39Hold down the house on the soldier grind
00:40:41Making sure that check is signed
00:40:42Putting my stacks up next to line
00:40:44Yeah, do that work
00:40:45Then you out throw a day and then job
00:40:47Which I ain't about though
00:40:48But that cash, you can't do it out though
00:40:51I get all better for you
00:40:53But I'm going to cry
00:40:55Work a stack, drive just to stay alive
00:40:58Have a nice day, boys!
00:41:00I get all better for you
00:41:01But I'm going to cry
00:41:05Hey, ooh, it's coming down
00:41:09Look at you
00:41:10Yeah, right?
00:41:12Look at you
00:41:14Oh, yeah
00:41:16Yeah
00:41:17Well
00:41:17That looks good
00:41:18Thanks
00:41:20So is anything good here?
00:41:23Oh, everything's good
00:41:23Really?
00:41:24Yeah
00:41:24I get two pork and beef burritos
00:41:27Four beef machacas
00:41:28And two beers
00:41:32Hey, what are you doing?
00:41:33I'm paying for it
00:41:34No, you're not
00:41:35Tonight's on me
00:41:42Mmm
00:41:44Oh, man
00:41:44This is my first machaca
00:41:46It's great
00:41:50Hey, Dad
00:41:52I'm sorry about last week
00:41:56Yeah, me too
00:42:00Can we get some beer?
00:42:02Please?
00:42:03Two tequila shots
00:42:06Let's get hammered
00:42:08Cheers
00:42:10Drink up
00:42:14Fuck
00:42:14See?
00:42:15Yeah, it's alright
00:42:15Alright, Dad
00:42:16You know why we're doing this
00:42:17Why?
00:42:18We're doing this so that
00:42:19What's his name?
00:42:20You're
00:42:21Oh, my guy?
00:42:22James Gentry
00:42:23The decision maker
00:42:25Right, so James Gentry
00:42:26Can find out who you are
00:42:27Yeah
00:42:29Who am I?
00:42:31You're a great man
00:42:36You've supported me my whole life, Dad
00:42:38Let me repay the favor
00:42:39Please
00:42:42Okay
00:42:43Okay
00:42:44Okay
00:42:44Ready?
00:42:45Do this again
00:42:46And that makes me know
00:42:47Yeah, okay
00:42:48Let's press record
00:42:51Go
00:42:52My name is Roger Davis
00:42:54I'm very punctual
00:42:57Faithful
00:42:58God, God
00:43:00I'm so terrible at this
00:43:01God
00:43:04I need to
00:43:05Do something
00:43:08Productive
00:43:11Something worthwhile
00:43:15That's really all it's about
00:43:19You know, work has always been more important to me than anyone else I know
00:43:24It just has
00:43:25I love it
00:43:26I love it
00:43:32I just need to get into the employer and see them
00:43:35Do you know?
00:43:36One on one
00:43:37And if they can just somehow get to know me, just even a little bit, then they would know why
00:43:44they should hire me
00:43:46That is the goal
00:43:48That's the goal
00:43:53So anyway, I'm sorry, I'm blabbering on
00:43:56All right, we need to do this
00:43:58All right
00:44:00No, we're good
00:44:01No, I'll try, I'll try
00:44:02Dad
00:44:03Another time
00:44:05All right
00:44:06If I drink any more of this
00:44:07This is not going to go well
00:44:09Well, we got six more to go
00:44:11Yeah
00:44:14You did that on purpose, didn't you?
00:44:16Woo!
00:44:16Absolutely
00:44:17You did
00:44:18You did too
00:44:36Good afternoon, Mr. Buffett
00:44:38Oh, jeez
00:44:40I'm sure you're wondering how I knew that you were in town
00:44:43Because you read it in the L.A. Times?
00:44:47Actually, through the use of GPS triangulation, my app, the I Search You, allowed me to send you a text
00:44:54message and receive back your exact location right down to this stall. It's incredible
00:44:59You know, Foursquare does that already, right?
00:45:02No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you don't get it. Foursquare lets you tell other people where you
00:45:06are. My app tells me where you are, even if you don't want me to know. It's a game changer,
00:45:11sir, okay? I'm telling you, if you say yes right now, I can promise you 50-50 in my company.
00:45:2160-40
00:45:23Do you have a hard bargain, sir? 65-35. Last offer?
00:45:29You know, I like it.
00:45:34You do?
00:45:35Let me text my people.
00:45:37Wow. Oh my God, I knew that you would like it. You're the Oracle of Omaha. You are a visionary
00:45:42like me, sir. This is incredible.
00:45:45What the fuck is this? What the fuck? Hey! Oh! Hey! Who has security guards when they take shit? The
00:45:52fuck is wrong with you, Buffet? You can't hide from the ice. Fuck you!
00:45:57Buffet!
00:45:59Double shot white chocolate mocha with extra cream. Where are we? On the Fredericks video? On schedule for tomorrow afternoon.
00:46:07Hmm. I was hoping for some personal time tomorrow afternoon. Say no more. I will stay late tonight and get
00:46:15it to you first thing in the morning.
00:46:18Uh, Will? Mm-hmm? There are going to be some changes around here.
00:46:25Changes? Mm-hmm. I'm taking Wilheimer into the 21st century. There will be a new position created Vice President of
00:46:34Corporate Communications. You keep up the good work. That Vice President is you.
00:46:42Hey, Fernando. Fernando. Sorry? Fernando. Fernando. Right. Uh, Tanya said that I should talk to you. About what? Uh, I
00:46:50have some extra work that I'm doing tonight and I just need a little help. You want me to do
00:46:55your work for you? No. No, no, no. I'm s- what I'm saying is that she said that I
00:46:59should talk to you about, you know...
00:47:04I have ADD. You know there's two Fernandos in this office. Fernando Little, Director of Client Services, Division Sales Leader,
00:47:16three years running. And Fernando, the janitor.
00:47:22Mi madre, she's a psychiatrist. So I can hook you up with whatever you need. Those are drugs.
00:47:31Saw you last night. With tu papa.
00:47:37You're not gonna tell anyone, are you? Wasn't close to me, papa. Your words? They moved me.
00:47:53I will take you to the grave. Now, someone with extra work. May I recommend? Dexadrine. Sexy Dexy.
00:48:08I work in New York City. Uh, in New York City. Uh, mainly I found that dealing with people was
00:48:19my best. So he would have me deliver, he started out delivering packages. Uh, and then ultimately, and then ultimately
00:48:30because I have a lot of charisma. A lot of charisma. A lot of charisma.
00:48:38I don't know. Highly informant space working.
00:48:43I'm produced.
00:48:44I'm lost real common and I'm old. I don't understand technology because I'm so old.
00:48:48Some will clean a thousand history every day.
00:48:50C'est beau, c'est juste un nom.
00:48:53C'est quoi le décision?
00:48:54Tu es...
00:48:55Tu es...
00:48:56...
00:48:59Will Davis ?
00:49:00Tu es virale.
00:49:02дерuille.
00:49:03Temps de vidéo de faire accès à 114,000 hits sur YouTube.
00:49:07YouTube ?
00:49:08Oui, YouTube.
00:49:09YouTube ?
00:49:10C'est fucking YouTube.
00:49:11C'est what I'm saying.ığQui
00:49:12-quié-quié-quié-quié-quié-quié-quié-quié-quié-quié-quié-quié-quié-quié-quié-quié-quié-quié-quié-quié
00:49:13-quié-quié-quié. C'est
00:49:15YouTube, Will.
00:49:20Will, I structure my business around the same eco-friendly model as Ben & Jerry.
00:49:26You know what I'm saying?
00:49:27Bitches gon' go for the pimp with the best work environment, alright?
00:49:30That's why we got free STD testing, free collins,
00:49:33FIRE!
00:49:34Shit!
00:49:36And even a dental plan.
00:49:37You can't be having no toothless bitches!
00:49:41How much do you know about us as a company, Will?
00:49:43Uh, absolutely nothing.
00:49:45Uh, join the club, brother.
00:49:47We will fix that.
00:49:49Sweat body spray?
00:49:51Yeah.
00:49:51When kids put that on, I want them to know they're sending a message.
00:49:55Guess what the message is?
00:49:56I'm cool.
00:49:57No, the message is, I'm down to fuck!
00:50:00Oh, okay.
00:50:01Or be fucked.
00:50:04Uh, hey Lon, I still don't know why I'm here exactly.
00:50:08Why you're here?
00:50:09I'll tell you why you're here.
00:50:10You're here because I want you to head up our internet and viral marketing.
00:50:15Oh!
00:50:17You're offering me a job.
00:50:18I saw the skeezy D video, and it blew my fucking mind inside out.
00:50:22I'm up all night.
00:50:23I can't sleep because I'm watching this video over and over and over again,
00:50:27screaming at the TV,
00:50:28just tell me what you want me to buy!
00:50:31Yeah.
00:50:31Ooh, ooh.
00:50:32Spank.
00:50:32That monkey.
00:50:33Spank, spank.
00:50:34That monkey.
00:50:35Yeah.
00:50:36That's my niece.
00:50:38All right.
00:50:39So what kind of salary are we talking?
00:50:41Hmm, okay.
00:50:43I'll offer you 22.
00:50:44Ooh, it's not a lot.
00:50:48Will, we're marketing to kids that were doing triple irony in kindergarten.
00:50:52And you, you are so fucking ironic, you've gone all the way around the track, back to authentic.
00:51:00You're ironic, man.
00:51:03You're ironic.
00:51:04Ironic.
00:51:06Ding dong.
00:51:07Going down.
00:51:08What are you doing?
00:51:09Will, if you told me to take our entire marketing budget and blow it on a billboard with nothing but
00:51:15pictures of fat Vanny Cox, I'd do it.
00:51:17I'll do whatever you say.
00:51:19Tell me what to do, man.
00:51:20Tell me what to do.
00:51:22Guess who's awesome?
00:51:24I am.
00:51:25Will is awesome.
00:51:26I did it.
00:51:26I stepped up, babe.
00:51:27I did exactly.
00:51:28There you are.
00:51:29I did exactly what you told me to do.
00:51:30I stepped up big time.
00:51:32I got great news for us.
00:51:33I got fired.
00:51:34What?
00:51:37I got fired today.
00:51:38They called me into human resources and I thought I was getting promoted.
00:51:42That's how stupid I am.
00:51:44You're not.
00:51:44You're not stupid.
00:51:47Yeah, I am.
00:51:49I'm $90,000 in debt and I spent $779 on a pair of shoes.
00:51:55It's going to be okay.
00:51:57It's going to be okay.
00:51:58No, it's not.
00:51:58I was just going to be okay.
00:52:00Because you're going to get another job.
00:52:08I'm sorry, Will.
00:52:12What are we celebrating?
00:52:20Catherine is going to put me up for a promotion.
00:52:27That's great.
00:52:28That's great.
00:52:31At least one of us has a career, right?
00:52:33Come here.
00:52:36That's great.
00:52:39What am I going to do for a friend?
00:52:41Oh.
00:52:53Hey, roomies.
00:52:58FYI, we leave porn laying around, so just, like, embrace it.
00:53:02You know, the week started out bad.
00:53:05My severance ran out.
00:53:06The mortgage was due.
00:53:07I pillaged my 401k.
00:53:09I was spiraling.
00:53:11And then on Tuesday, I finally get an interview with Xerox.
00:53:15And I went in there.
00:53:17And I killed.
00:53:19I mean, it was the kind of interview that you dream about.
00:53:24I mean, it was so good that I remember tearing up in the elevator.
00:53:29And I knew.
00:53:30I knew they were going to send me on to gentry.
00:53:32I knew I was finally going to meet the decision maker.
00:53:39And ever since then, nothing.
00:53:46Bubkis.
00:53:48I just need the bathroom key.
00:53:52Sorry.
00:53:56No.
00:53:58Cammy.
00:53:59How do I get to James Gentry?
00:54:01I've emailed.
00:54:02I've texted.
00:54:03I've twittered.
00:54:04I've called his home.
00:54:05I spoke to his wife.
00:54:07You called his house?
00:54:08Well, the conversation was brief.
00:54:10It was dinner time.
00:54:11She had company.
00:54:11But I think I made an impression.
00:54:13Maybe you should focus on more than one job listing.
00:54:15I am so perfect for this job.
00:54:17I just have to get myself in front of the guy
00:54:19who can actually pull the trigger and hire me.
00:54:22It is ABC time.
00:54:24I just, one way or another,
00:54:26I've got to get to the decision maker.
00:54:28Yes.
00:54:29Woo.
00:54:33James Gentry, prepare to meet Roger Davis.
00:54:41Yo.
00:54:43Hey, man.
00:54:43Listen to my dad's latest tweet.
00:54:45It ends today.
00:54:47ABC equals sign.
00:54:48Annihilation brings closure.
00:54:50Roger Davis symbol for greater than James.
00:54:52You will follow the guidebook to the letter.
00:54:55Yeah, I found the guidebook to be kind of limiting.
00:55:01I wrote the guidebook, Mr. Davis.
00:55:04And while I have you here,
00:55:06there are some issues of comportment
00:55:08that apparently need clarification.
00:55:10you will maintain a professional appearance.
00:55:13That means a suit and a tie.
00:55:17It does not mean sneakers.
00:55:20It does not mean khakis.
00:55:23It does not mean that unwashed rag you call a t-shirt.
00:55:28Got it.
00:55:30Got it.
00:55:32Understood.
00:55:37And while I was away,
00:55:39I was a recipient of several of your reply-all emails.
00:55:44They were inappropriate,
00:55:46offensive,
00:55:48most of all,
00:55:49not funny.
00:55:52Nobody wants a birthday spanking from you, Mr. Davis.
00:56:00And finally,
00:56:03I took a look at your Facebook page
00:56:05and was confronted with this sordid image.
00:56:08For making Ren is masturbating into a cop?
00:56:10I'm an accomplished masturbator.
00:56:13Will, I don't know what's going on with you.
00:56:15At school,
00:56:16you always had a million different things going on.
00:56:18Your energy was contagious.
00:56:19It's what I loved about you.
00:56:21And right now,
00:56:21it feels like you're just flailing around
00:56:24and making it up as you go.
00:56:25I saw a job counselor last week.
00:56:29Really?
00:56:29A job counselor?
00:56:30And she was all over me
00:56:32about forming a strategy.
00:56:34And really,
00:56:35she rode me to stay flexible.
00:56:37And so we decided to focus on corporate video work.
00:56:40I sent out my resume.
00:56:41I should start interviewing next week.
00:56:43Come here.
00:56:45Do you remember Ultimate Frisbee?
00:56:48Not the districts,
00:56:49the regionals.
00:56:49I made that 50-yard huck to Sullivan.
00:56:51It was an awesome pass.
00:56:52Everybody was like,
00:56:52Baby, I don't know what we're talking about.
00:56:54Baby,
00:56:54what I'm saying is don't worry.
00:56:56I'm at my best
00:56:57when my back is against the wall.
00:56:59This isn't college, Will.
00:57:02Please,
00:57:02I need you to step up.
00:57:0630 years.
00:57:08One
00:57:09company.
00:57:09Wow.
00:57:11An employer sees this
00:57:11and they see
00:57:12a dinosaur.
00:57:15Well, I can't say that I agree with you there.
00:57:19Fernando.
00:57:20Fernando.
00:57:20Fernando?
00:57:21Fernando.
00:57:22You should do whatever you can to look younger.
00:57:25For starters, lose the beard.
00:57:26An image consult is included with the platinum package.
00:57:29We'll give you a workstation someplace to go every morning.
00:57:32We will produce a video resume
00:57:34that will set you above the rabble.
00:57:37but all of that
00:57:38is just preparation for the main event.
00:57:41James Gentry.
00:57:42What the hell does that mean?
00:57:43I don't know, man,
00:57:43but it sounds ominous.
00:57:45Yeah, it definitely doesn't sound good.
00:57:47Yeah, this is bad.
00:57:48Look, Luke,
00:57:49we got to go find my dad.
00:57:50All right, here I come.
00:57:53Yeah, it's 5th and Spring,
00:57:54right off the 101,
00:57:55big gray building.
00:58:04Excuse me, sir.
00:58:05Check in with the front desk, please.
00:58:07Oh, right.
00:58:10All right.
00:58:11I'll take care of that this afternoon.
00:58:13All right.
00:58:15All right.
00:58:15Bye-bye.
00:58:17Good afternoon.
00:58:18Good afternoon.
00:58:21Roger Davis here to see James Gentry.
00:58:23Oh, you could sign up.
00:58:27Uh, sir?
00:58:31I'm going to need you to exit the building.
00:58:37Okay.
00:58:44Or, how about this?
00:58:47How about I'm not going anywhere
00:58:49until after I see the decision maker?
00:59:02Catherine?
00:59:04Catherine?
00:59:05Mr. Wilhunter?
00:59:05All right.
00:59:06Yeah, right now.
00:59:06Look, uh, family emergency.
00:59:08I need to leave early.
00:59:09We're starting the Fredericks meeting.
00:59:11Okay, well, how important is it that I'm there?
00:59:12How important is keeping your job?
00:59:16Catherine, I'm sorry.
00:59:16My dad needs you.
00:59:17Are you kidding me?
00:59:18That's fine.
00:59:18My dad needs you.
00:59:19Nearest exit, everybody!
00:59:25By months and months of rejection and indifference,
00:59:30I'm a human being
00:59:32asking for an opportunity to tell you face-to-face
00:59:35why I think I would be great for your company.
00:59:42This is my resume.
00:59:44My son made this.
00:59:47Why me?
00:59:50Because you, sir, are the decision maker.
01:00:04What happened?
01:00:08I got an interview.
01:00:11Yeah!
01:00:12Nice!
01:00:14All right!
01:00:15All right!
01:00:45Yeah!
01:00:55Merci.
01:01:23Merci.
01:01:47There can be only one.
01:01:49Hey.
01:01:50Hey.
01:01:55Catherine wants to see you in her office.
01:02:01Goodbye, head.
01:02:03What? No.
01:02:05What is wrong with you?
01:02:08I'm really bored.
01:02:23Isn't it a glorious day?
01:02:26What's glorious about it?
01:02:28I've rid this company of the dead wood.
01:02:31We are leaner and meaner.
01:02:35This is a contract.
01:02:39It's a what?
01:02:41You're now Vice President of Corporate Communications.
01:02:44Your salary is $52.
01:02:46$52,000.
01:02:50$52,000?
01:02:51You'll be doing the work of three people.
01:02:53Get used to eating dinner at your desk.
01:02:57Now that I've turned you around,
01:02:59it was easier to kick you upstairs
01:03:00than to train someone new.
01:03:04Just don't forget who did the kicking.
01:03:08Come here.
01:03:15I own you, Mr. Davis.
01:03:24Get to work.
01:03:26VP.
01:03:52Yes.
01:03:58Why are you massaging my girlfriend?
01:04:00Don't break her concentration.
01:04:02She's about to get to the living legend achievement.
01:04:04This is fucking crazy, man. She's on a killing spree.
01:04:06Killing frenzy.
01:04:07Your girlfriend is a fucking prodigy, bro.
01:04:10Bong me.
01:04:12I let it.
01:04:13Light it for her.
01:04:14Bong me.
01:04:14Dude, what's up with you, man?
01:04:17I lost a half a million dollars today.
01:04:21I am fucked.
01:04:23I let everybody down, dude.
01:04:24I let Tyler Perry down.
01:04:27Oprah.
01:04:28Barack Obama.
01:04:29I let Barack Obama die.
01:04:30I am fucked, man.
01:04:32Stay with it, stay with it.
01:04:33I'm on it.
01:04:34You guys don't understand, man.
01:04:36You guys don't understand.
01:04:37I.
01:04:38Drank.
01:04:39There come.
01:04:40Oh, shit.
01:04:42Hey, Jillian, can I talk to you for a second?
01:04:44No.
01:04:46Okay.
01:04:46All right.
01:04:49Game over, bitches!
01:04:50Wow, what are you doing?
01:04:52You can't do that.
01:04:52You can't pull the cord out.
01:04:53Why are you doing that?
01:04:54Boo!
01:04:54Don't boo me.
01:04:55You don't...
01:04:56Don't boo...
01:04:57Stop booing me!
01:04:58I'm surprised that you will.
01:05:02Get out of here.
01:05:04Sudden trauma can hurt the LED.
01:05:07Oh!
01:05:08Wait, come here.
01:05:09Save me, save me, save me!
01:05:10I don't...
01:05:11Bong me.
01:05:12We're still coming.
01:05:13Bong coming in.
01:05:14All right, Jillian, I need you to step up.
01:05:18Oh, my God.
01:05:32I need you to step up.
01:05:32Bring on the bacon, baby!
01:05:34Oh, fuck.
01:05:35Let's eat some bacon right now.
01:05:49Mr. Diller?
01:05:52I just want to say I'm sorry I screwed up.
01:05:57And...
01:05:57Thank you for the opportunity, and...
01:06:02I'm sorry I let you down.
01:06:10Where in the fuck do you think you're going?
01:06:13Sit the fuck down.
01:06:16What kind of fucking pussy generation do you come from, anyway?
01:06:21You never apologize.
01:06:23Never, ever.
01:06:24You burn the fucking house down, you roll up your fucking sleeves, and you build another one.
01:06:28And get the fuck back out there and make the money back.
01:06:30You got it?
01:06:33Go.
01:06:39Yo, this will never happen again.
01:06:42Thank you so much.
01:06:47God damn it.
01:06:49Send the fucking custodian in.
01:07:12Bring it in.
01:07:13Okay, circle up.
01:07:15All right.
01:07:16Now, I know we haven't won a game yet, but we have been losing by less and less.
01:07:21And I know for a fact that their two best players have head lice.
01:07:25I'm saying we have a chance today.
01:07:28A chance for victory.
01:07:31A chance for redemption.
01:07:36Hands in.
01:07:37Victory on three.
01:07:39One.
01:07:40Two.
01:07:41Three.
01:07:42Victory!
01:07:47Great season, you guys.
01:07:48Played your hearts out.
01:07:50You did it.
01:07:55Everybody is a winner.
01:07:58We are so proud of you.
01:08:02Next year, no scoreboard.
01:08:04Right?
01:08:04All right.
01:08:04Here you go, honey.
01:08:06No.
01:08:07No.
01:08:07No.
01:08:07No.
01:08:07No trophies.
01:08:08No trophies this year.
01:08:10We always get trophies.
01:08:12Trophies don't mean anything unless you earn them.
01:08:15They're just plastic junk.
01:08:17Look.
01:08:21No!
01:08:22My childhood bedroom is filled to the brim with trophies and I haven't won a thing in my life.
01:08:28You would have to be born already in a coma to do as little with your life as I have.
01:08:34Excuse me.
01:08:34Listen. Stop it. Stop.
01:08:35Listen to me.
01:08:36Listen, guys.
01:08:38Listen to me.
01:08:40Now, I have spent the last five years of my life practically living on a cum-stained couch.
01:08:48I smoke $200 of weed a week.
01:08:54I've been wearing the same pair of socks for so long that the fabric of the sock has literally become
01:08:58one with the skin of my little toe.
01:09:00And why?
01:09:02Why?
01:09:05Because when I was growing up, they gave me trophies for losing.
01:09:09Do you understand what I'm saying?
01:09:12No trophies, Sam.
01:09:18Juan, no trophies!
01:09:21No trophies!
01:09:22No trophies!
01:09:23No trophies!
01:09:24No trophies!
01:09:25Sous-titres par Juanfrance
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