In this video, I'm talking about my evolving diet philosophy — from hardcore vegetarianism to pescatarianism, and why I recently encouraged my spouse to start eating chicken and turkey after being diagnosed with celiac disease.
I break down why I think red meat is genuinely dangerous (and comparable to smoking), why white meats like chicken, turkey, and fish are a different story, and how eliminating added sugars has become a big part of how I eat now.
I also run a little interactive test at the start — fans, you've been warned, don't take it — and everyone else, drop your results in the comments.
Whether you're vegan, vegetarian, or somewhere in between, this is a look at how real-life health challenges can shift even the most committed dietary choices.
Thanks to Hannah for funding this video.
Thank you for watching and supporting Onision videos. If you'd like to be a bigger support to Onision comedy, music and vlogs check the following links out!
Official Onision site: https://onision.com
Buy something directly for Onision on Amazon :)
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Listen to Onision music on Spotify:
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Or check out Onision music on Amazon:
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You can hear Onision on Apple Music too:
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#fyp #foryou #viral #trending #entertainment #viralvideo #watchnow #foryoupage #bestoftheday #explore #sharable #popular #instagood #newvideo #dailycontent #comedy #mustwatch #instatrending #funnyvideo #topvideo #videooftheday #explorepage #amazing #wow #discover #epic #follow #viewnow #viralpost
I break down why I think red meat is genuinely dangerous (and comparable to smoking), why white meats like chicken, turkey, and fish are a different story, and how eliminating added sugars has become a big part of how I eat now.
I also run a little interactive test at the start — fans, you've been warned, don't take it — and everyone else, drop your results in the comments.
Whether you're vegan, vegetarian, or somewhere in between, this is a look at how real-life health challenges can shift even the most committed dietary choices.
Thanks to Hannah for funding this video.
Thank you for watching and supporting Onision videos. If you'd like to be a bigger support to Onision comedy, music and vlogs check the following links out!
Official Onision site: https://onision.com
Buy something directly for Onision on Amazon :)
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/21NHIISHUW7IR?ref_=wl_share
Follow Onision's X (aka Twitter): https://X.com/Onision
Check out Onision on Instagram: https://Instagram.com/OnisionPrime
Listen to Onision music on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/2yuPRowcA4l4IpOEzOphDh
Or check out Onision music on Amazon:
https://music.amazon.com/artists/B007EEMKY4/onision
You can hear Onision on Apple Music too:
https://music.apple.com/us/artist/onision/422119584
There's also YouTube Music for Onision?? (Subscribe There Too!)
https://music.youtube.com/channel/UCWlzSXczOYYKOHd4414E60A
Like Onision's Facebook?
https://www.facebook.com/people/Onision-Videos/61561038962118/
And the Onision YouTube channel: https://YouTube.com/@everyonecalmdown
Want to go back to the Onision Daily Motion? Here you go: https://dailymotion.com/onision
#fyp #foryou #viral #trending #entertainment #viralvideo #watchnow #foryoupage #bestoftheday #explore #sharable #popular #instagood #newvideo #dailycontent #comedy #mustwatch #instatrending #funnyvideo #topvideo #videooftheday #explorepage #amazing #wow #discover #epic #follow #viewnow #viralpost
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FunTranscript
00:00Guys, the rumors that I look like Steve Harrington after two years on testosterone, they need to stop.
00:05It's offensive and it's true.
00:14Alright, before we get to today's topic, I want to talk to you about the Rake Shambuzi test.
00:18Again, Rake Shambuzi.
00:20Although I do want to preface this test, all fans of mine, like if you like me whatsoever,
00:25you're not allowed to take this test, so just don't even take it.
00:27But everyone else, you can post your results in the comments below.
00:30So if you don't love me, just take the test, pause the video, get out a notepad or whatever,
00:35or start filling in the comments section of this video, itemizing your answers for every single one,
00:40and post them in the comments below.
00:41For my fans, you can discuss this test on anision.forum.
00:44Also, a special thanks to Hannah for funding this video.
00:47Now, with that being said, there's a gun to your head and you have to pick which person you have
00:50to marry.
00:50Which person do you choose, red or blue?
00:52You have to pick which person you're going to send a flirtatious text message to, red or blue.
00:56Now you have to decide which person you want to cuddle all night with, red or blue.
01:01Now again, gun to your head, you have to decide which individual you're going to have babies with, red or
01:06blue.
01:07Gun to your head, you have to decide which person you want to kissy.
01:10You want to kissy on their whips.
01:11You want to kissy them.
01:12All right, you still taking the test?
01:13Doing okay?
01:14Great.
01:14All right, next one, red or blue.
01:16Which one do you want to nibble on your ear, red or blue?
01:19Okay, you doing good?
01:20All right, we're almost there.
01:20This is almost it.
01:21All right, red or blue, gun to your head.
01:23Which one do you run away with and date, fall in love with, gun to your head?
01:27Okay, now the Rokshan Boozy test or whatever I called it is over.
01:31And you can post your results in the comments below.
01:33Unless you're a super fan, in which case you could go to nissan.forum and we'll discuss it there.
01:37Now, with that out of the way, I want to talk about diet.
01:39So way back in the day, I had clips like this.
01:43Just kidding.
01:44They're back up.
01:45Now they're down for good.
01:46How about that?
01:47Look at that.
01:47Vegetarian legs.
01:50Sometimes I like doing push-ups.
01:55That was one.
01:56Some people could, uh, maybe possibly, I don't know, appreciate a little twerky while flexing
02:01my muscle.
02:01White people can do it too.
02:03My right sleeve?
02:05Magic.
02:06Can't get that from a meat eater.
02:07No, you can't.
02:08No, you can't do that.
02:10And of course, the old rig scream.
02:12This is my vegetarian, Spotty!
02:16And this.
02:17I'm sorry, random g****** voice.
02:20It's just too hard to be a vegetarian.
02:22I just still don't get it.
02:24Just don't eat meat!
02:26Yeah, I don't get that.
02:27I don't care what you say, f***ing being vegetarian.
02:30I'm not giving up my horse juice for you.
02:33That's not meat!
02:35What?
02:36And this.
02:37I got tired of eating eggs and beans.
02:40Eggs and beans?
02:41Because that's the only vegetarian food in the world.
02:42Yeah, I'm allergic to nuts.
02:44Are you allergic to potatoes?
02:46I got tired of f***ing eating eggs.
02:47Are you allergic to noodles?
02:49Dude, there's only some of these f***ing eggs.
02:52Yeah, okay, so I ate rice, potatoes, beans.
02:54Are you allergic to fruits and vegetables?
02:56Okay, so then...
02:57Are you allergic to boba patties?
02:58No, but I actually love...
02:59I love fresh...
03:00Are you allergic to Morningstar?
03:02Morningstar is f***ing disgusting.
03:04And that cheese that you eat is f***ing disgusting.
03:07And all the fake processed bulls*** is disgusting.
03:10You don't think it was processed?
03:11Yeah, after it was dead, they cured it.
03:13Do you prefer to eat cow dick over Morningstar?
03:16Absolutely.
03:16Weren't those clips fun?
03:17That's what happens when you have a YouTube audience and you get rewarded for being ridiculous.
03:21Like, literally, I would make more money the more ridiculous I am.
03:25But now I'm paid to make videos by awesome people like Hannah.
03:28So all I really have to do is worry about satisfying them.
03:30But I used to be a hardcore vegetarian.
03:32And in at least a couple videos I said that pescatarianism was actually a superior diet to my own
03:37due to the longevity of people's lives who have the pescatarian diet.
03:41But I want to share a little bit with you guys about my own life.
03:43The fact of the matter is, when I lived in Gig Harbor, I was jumping on the trampoline once
03:46and I felt my brain bouncing around my skull.
03:49And you know what?
03:49It probably wasn't actually my literal brain bouncing around my skull.
03:52Either way, I did a little bit of research and realized that eating fish could help nurture
03:56and improve my brain.
03:57As you guys are aware, our brains are pretty much our most essential tool.
04:01So if we don't consume things that help our brain, we're basically screwing ourselves over.
04:05On Franklin and Bash, the television show, I saw someone make a reference to vegans saying
04:09that they're naive.
04:10And you might wonder, why would anyone say that?
04:12Well, the number one reason why they'd say vegans are naive, it's because they're assholes.
04:15And they think having compassion for living creatures is somehow a weakness, which is just,
04:19of course, ridiculous.
04:20If an alien species invaded our planet and turned us all into meat products, we wouldn't be like,
04:24oh, those aliens would be so naive not to turn us all into meat products, we would be like,
04:29oh my god, these are monsters, okay?
04:30That's the perspective, right?
04:31So to call vegans naive is just, well, naive.
04:34But with that being said, not everyone can survive on a vegan diet, at least not without
04:38wanting to kill themselves.
04:40So recently, there's been a significant development on top of eating salmon and tuna.
04:43My spouse has decided to do a little bit more.
04:46And there's a reason for that.
04:47My spouse was diagnosed, not just PTSD due to a certain douche nozzle, but diagnosed with
04:52celiac disease, which means basically if my spouse eats anything that has gluten in it,
04:58well, shit hits the fan pretty quick.
05:00So being a pescatarian at the time, diagnosed with this awful condition, the seeds were planted
05:05to begin considering ulterior options.
05:08Now, I do want to note, red meat, if you eat red meat, you're basically really super duper
05:12illogical based on all of my research.
05:15Red meat is like one of the leading causes of you having ass cancer, stomach cancer, heart
05:20disease, etc. You're basically just smoking cigarettes at this point.
05:23So when you talk about how badly you want beef or pork or whatever, I can't help but feel
05:27sorry for your lack of cognitive awareness due to the fact that, guess what, not only is
05:31it needlessly killing the cows and pigs, but it's also killing you.
05:35How goddamn stupid can you be?
05:37With that being said, the same does not apply to turkey and chicken.
05:40There are turkeys and chickens who have slaughtered and prepared in a way that doesn't add a bunch
05:46of oils or cholesterols or whatever can actually be really healthy for you because they're
05:49white meat.
05:50Fish is also white meat.
05:52So seeing my spouse suffer as much as he has been trying to find decent food and knowing
05:57that the vegetarian meats almost all have gluten in them, like Jesus Christ, what the fuck
06:02is that?
06:02I, yes me, Onision, specifically told my spouse, you know what, I think you should start eating
06:08chicken and turkey.
06:09And you know what my spouse did?
06:10Well, nearly shit himself initially because he couldn't believe that I told him to do that.
06:14Me being this guy, roll clip.
06:16Their pins, a lot of times, are so small they can't even turn around.
06:20So they're one of the smartest animals in the world and they're put in this little cage.
06:26That's insane that we would do that.
06:28All for the sake of what?
06:29Flavor?
06:29Because we know red meat is bad for us.
06:31But the thing is, is that I've always been reasonable in the sense that I would never tell
06:35someone to kill themselves or make themselves suffer extremely, all to avoid eating something
06:40that is actually really good for them to eat in the proper context.
06:43The people who argue about protein literally just don't understand vegetables.
06:47They don't understand nutrients or anything like that.
06:49Like, have you ever eaten a bean?
06:50Like, don't be a fucking dumbass talking about protein as if you know what you're talking
06:53about.
06:54But if you were to say you have celiac disease and you can't consume anything with gluten,
06:57I would say there goes 80% of your vegetarian options that are, you know, typically in a grocery
07:02store.
07:02And with that, in order to avoid putting a gun in your own mouth, you might have to open
07:06up your diet options so every time you go to a restaurant, you don't look for the nearest
07:09bridge or building to leap from.
07:11Anyway, so what I'm saying is I'm a pescatarian.
07:14I didn't just go, oh, I'm going to start eating chicken and turkey because my spouse is, because
07:18that's not really a valid excuse and I don't have a desire to eat chicken and turkey.
07:22What I do have a desire to eat is beef jerky.
07:24I really loved when I ate beef jerky.
07:26I really miss when I ate beef jerky, but you know what I don't love?
07:30Heart disease, ass cancer, and stomach cancer.
07:33So I think I'll pass on the beef jerky.
07:35It's kind of like people who miss smoking cigarettes or miss doing black tar heroin.
07:39You can miss it all you want.
07:41That doesn't mean you should do it.
07:42I mean, there's a reason when people keep having heart attacks and shit, they say you
07:45should be a vegetarian, but red meat is like heart suicide.
07:48I would love to die, but I don't want to die in a horrible, painfully slow way.
07:52Like, if you told me I could just die in my sleep tonight and everyone would just be happy,
07:56including the people I care about, they would all just dance around and celebrate, and I'd
07:59be like, you know what?
08:00I'm out.
08:01But unfortunately, my loved ones actually love me back, so you gotta not let the people
08:05who care about you down.
08:06Regardless, I don't think anyone wants to go out in a slow, painful way, like James
08:09Van Der Beek did with his ass cancer, where he allegedly consumed too much sugar every
08:13single day, and therefore allegedly fast forwarded his ass cancer progression.
08:18And that's another thing I pretty much almost entirely eliminated from my diet is added
08:22sugars.
08:22But that's the gist of my diet, so feel free to post to the Onision forums about what
08:26your diet is, and... boob squeeze.
08:34All right, now, for the test results.
08:36I'm not gonna tell you them here, if you really wanna see the test results, go to onision.forum,
08:41and all my fans will realize very quickly why I told them not to take the test.
08:46So yeah, check out the site if you want to, otherwise I guess just, you know, fuck off or
08:50something.
08:51Thanks to Hannah for funding this video.
08:52We have an uh-oh bro that's supposed to be coming, thanks to McFly.
08:55And after that, I mean, I guess we'll see.
08:57If you guys never fund me again, then okay.
08:59Either way.
08:59Mwah!
08:59Mwah!
09:00Mwah!
09:00Mwah!
09:00Mwah!
09:00Mwah!
09:00I don't know.
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