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#fyp #foryou #viral #trending #entertainment #viralvideo #watchnow #foryoupage #bestoftheday #explore #sharable #popular #instagood #newvideo #dailycontent #comedy #mustwatch #instatrending #funnyvideo #topvideo #videooftheday #explorepage #amazing #wow #discover #epic #follow #viewnow #viralpost
Official Onision site: https://onision.com
Buy something directly for Onision on Amazon :)
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/21NHIISHUW7IR?ref_=wl_share
Follow Onision's X (aka Twitter): https://X.com/Onision
Check out Onision on Instagram: https://Instagram.com/OnisionPrime
Listen to Onision music on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/2yuPRowcA4l4IpOEzOphDh
Or check out Onision music on Amazon:
https://music.amazon.com/artists/B007EEMKY4/onision
You can hear Onision on Apple Music too:
https://music.apple.com/us/artist/onision/422119584
There's also YouTube Music for Onision?? (Subscribe There Too!)
https://music.youtube.com/channel/UCWlzSXczOYYKOHd4414E60A
Like Onision's Facebook?
https://www.facebook.com/people/Onision-Videos/61561038962118/
And the Onision YouTube channel: https://YouTube.com/@everyonecalmdown
Want to go back to the Onision Daily Motion? Here you go: https://dailymotion.com/onision
#fyp #foryou #viral #trending #entertainment #viralvideo #watchnow #foryoupage #bestoftheday #explore #sharable #popular #instagood #newvideo #dailycontent #comedy #mustwatch #instatrending #funnyvideo #topvideo #videooftheday #explorepage #amazing #wow #discover #epic #follow #viewnow #viralpost
Category
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FunTranscript
00:00It's not a comb-over. Okay, let's get that one thing straight. It's not a comb-over.
00:05Welcome to Onision Speak.
00:09Okay, first off, this video is happening because someone got me a gift on my wishlist.
00:13I got this and I got this. Every time I post the link to my Amazon wishlist and every time
00:18I promote the Onision forums or even just my cash app where you can literally just tell me,
00:23hey, here's a hundred bucks, make this video, which I will do to an extent. I'll put in as
00:27much effort as the money dictates, but every time I advertise that, I think no one's ever going to
00:33do it and this is the last time I'll ever make a video for the rest of my life. And
00:36it's not because,
00:36you know, a low self-esteem alone or anything like that, but I will say every single time I see
00:42a video
00:42funded, my reaction is somewhat like this. You guys funding my videos allows me to have an excuse
00:48not to do my normal job. And as some of you know, I'm a manager at McDonald's. I'm just kidding.
00:53I'm
00:53not a manager at McDonald's. Don't start spamming the McDonald's saying, fire this guy because he's
00:58Charlie Manson. I don't actually work at McDonald's. I do, however, have a job title and job activities
01:05and all that, which is horrible. And I blame all the appropriate people for that. Anyway,
01:09before we get to the main topic, here's a clip from one of my favorite videos that I've done.
01:12You can fast forward if you want to, or you can watch it up to you. I don't really care.
01:19Hey, Jose. Yo. What are you doing? Playing video games.
01:32Um, where's the TV? What? That controller's not even plugged in. You don't even have a Wii and
01:38that's only like $200. Yo, shut up, man. Oh, I forgot. You're a poor Mexican and you can't afford anything.
01:44What? Oh, no. I didn't mean that you're, it's not because you're Mexican. You racist. No,
01:51I mean, I guess, I guess so. Suck my d**k, man. Maybe you can't smoke so much pot,
01:57you can afford it to you. Do you think about that? Suck my d**k. You want me to suck your
02:03d**k?
02:03Suck my d**k, asshole. Like literally? Yeah, like literally suck my d**k. Are you being straight with me?
02:11Well, I'm not being gay with you. So you are straight. Suck my d**k already, man.
02:19Okay. What are you doing? I'm just trying to suck your d**k because you told me to suck your d**k.
02:25Ew, no. Oh, I'm sorry. You're a freak. No, I'm just confused. Stupid old punk.
02:33Yo, screw you, Home Depot stander arounder guy. Suck my d**k, bro. Fine.
02:40What are you doing? Quit playing games with my heart.
02:46Guys, sushi, f**k. Yo, suck my d**k, bro. Fine.
02:57You okay? Hurt my face a little. Anyway, today's video, a lot of the things you see on camera are
03:04more
03:04often than not under my control. A friend of Cool Guy Kai's and Cool Guy Kai were laughing about
03:10the old Onision being back when the bangs are down. Like for instance, here's a clip of me in the
03:15early
03:15ages of Onision. Hair adjustment. One of these days, I'm going to rake off my toupee and then it's going
03:19to be
03:19really embarrassing. I'm so glad we're finally going to kiss Billy. I'm a dude.
03:27It wasn't exactly relevant, but it was certainly fun to pretend.
03:32Ah, f**k. I am 40 years old now and I was in my 20s in that clip. So, how have
03:40I aged? Don't tell
03:41me. I don't want to know. Hey you guys, today I want to talk about something really fun. We're going
03:46to
03:46talk about dieting and exercise. Hey guys, we're going to talk about something that's not so fun
03:51today. Diet and exercise. I know a lot of people out there struggle with their weight and I want to
03:56say that you're beautiful the way you are no matter what. You should always look in the mirror with pride
04:01and respect because you exist on this earth as a strong powerful person. Um, literally f**k you fatty.
04:08I don't know what to tell you. Like, and all those people who blame you for like the things you
04:12eat,
04:13you are literally conditioned in most cases since you were a kid to eat the diet that you have. So,
04:18anybody who says like things like f**k you fatty, those are horrible sociopath people. Like,
04:24literally you could just stop eating if you want to. So, don't go around telling me that,
04:30oh, I can't control it. I'm big boned. It's bulls**t. But no, um, guys, in all seriousness,
04:35I just want to say, you know, I really appreciate you guys watching my videos. I really like that you're
04:40so
04:40supportive and funny in the comments. I love reading your comments and I just want to say
04:44thank you. F**k you, you p**sy-ass piece of s**t. F**k you. You're a little f**king b**ch. Stop
04:52pandering to these people. You little twink-ass. I'm going to bend you over this table and play with
04:57your butthole. Do you want that? Do you want me to play with your butthole? You pathetic twink. I'm
05:04kind of attracted to you. I kind of want to bend you over this table. You f**k. Oh god, I
05:09was about to
05:10spit on you, but we'll save that for your butthole. We'll save all this letter for your butthole,
05:14you f**king twink. Anyway, I'm just saying look at my videos and everyone's videos as performative
05:19because the internet is not real life. And you shouldn't be taking our advice and our opinions
05:24online as personal because guess what? You don't have to have a college degree to make a YouTube video.
05:30Anyway, first gift. Let's see what I get for making this video, huh?
05:35I got me a Fortnite game. Oh my god. I'm going to play Fortnite tomorrow with my friend.
05:39Sometimes she's in the comment section of my videos. And that is from Hannah.
05:44And the second gift I'm opening. What? What? Yo, The Shining. Here's Rebecca.
05:51I'm just kidding. It's really here's Jennifer. Nope. One more. Here's Jacob. Nope. Here's Chris Pratt.
06:01What? Here's Shane Dawes. Damn it. I'm such a dummy. Ah, and this one's from Hannah too. You guys would
06:06have
06:06almost no videos for me if it weren't for Hannah. So to all 10 of you watching, go thank Hannah.
06:10And Hannah also got me a coat. Look at my new coat. My new coat's so cool. It's cool that
06:16I'm also
06:17jacking off to people. Horse dick people. Am I right? Horse dick people? Don't leave me hanging,
06:24horse dick people. Horse dick people. Horse dick peep. Come on. Horse dick people. Fuck. Can't get a high
06:34five of your life to pimp. Horse dick people. Okay, anyway. Ah. Uh, that's what Nisian speaks.
06:39Ha ha ha, you're dead, you're dead. Glad you shot yourself in the head. Ha ha ha, you're dead, you're
06:47dead.
06:47You guys know how to get more videos from me? Money, money, money, and money. Or Blu-rays
06:51and Fortnite bucks. Boob squeeze. Boob squeeze. Boob squeeze. Boob squeeze.
06:55Boob squeeze.
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