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00:00Hey it's your girl Lori Mack here from 105 when the bounce and I am here with a very special
00:04guest
00:05okay he has turned trauma into testimony prison into purpose and pain into power Detroit welcome
00:12Dr. Lardell to the show thank you thank you very much thank you very much I'm gonna call you coach
00:19I'm about to call you Lardell coach D whichever one makes you I'm the same one and only oh thank
00:25you so much for coming yes ma'am so I know you're I know you're busy I know you're busy
00:29you're doing
00:29great things a lot and you got a new book yes that you just dropped yes so up from ashes
00:36the streets
00:37prison and redemption is definitely a story of redemption survival it speaks to intergenerational
00:46trauma and abuse I was a victim child victim of abuse by my mother a single parent because of
00:55the abuse she suffered in Mississippi in the 40s and it just tells how unfortunate unfortunately
01:02especially within melanated households that that ugliness just continued and then it speaks to
01:08uh the next level the the maltreatment of children and the criminal justice system because once you
01:16begin to abuse your child the first thing they would want to do is go out and seek some type
01:22of
01:22friendship of family but oftentimes that's gangs or the bad element and next thing you know the
01:28criminality and that's exactly what happened uh but my story has a pretty good ending I think
01:35well and it's still going that's good so when you first so when you first started writing this book
01:40you took it all the way back from the beginning from where it started I had to because I was
01:45broken
01:45I did not write I deliberately did not start writing in prison okay I wanted to get out and live
01:53first
01:53I didn't want it to be a prison book I was very bitter towards prison but it wasn't until after
01:59getting out I realized I can't be mad at the warden or the officers that beat me and put me
02:03in a hole or
02:04the building that they built to hold me they were created to feed those corrections officers families
02:11right as a job their purpose their their goal is not to keep me out that's on me uh so
02:17so I I got
02:18over that uh but I realized I had to live a little bit I had to experience life to truly
02:24be able to
02:25write a book so I I held off for a long time and I'm glad I did so and I
02:31and I got a lot of experience
02:32uh by doing that oh I know that's right so after you came out you lived a little at what
02:38moment did
02:38you feel like okay it's time I think uh shoot that was like I've been I came home 2006 I
02:47didn't finish
02:48what the 2023 22 yeah so you let it ponder for a little while no doubt about it because uh
02:54you know
02:54I'm so I'm in a minute so the 14th of this month will be 20 years I've been home because
02:59I came home
03:006 14 yep uh 2 14 2006 so this valentine's day I'll celebrate the 20 years and then the 18th
03:08I
03:08celebrate 19 years of marriage yes there we go oh yeah so it was it's just um I took on
03:14a lot of
03:14other roles I you know I already had a son but then I had now I have an additional daughter
03:19that my wife
03:20had already who she's an adult now then my granddaughter by my daughter and so it was a lot
03:24different responsibilities I jumped into social work uh and so I started living life and expanding
03:30my little world because I come from a micro and to come out here in this macro um was very
03:37scary
03:37and that fear oftentimes came out as aggression uh it was at one point my wife said um I'm
03:45uncomfortable being in public with you because you so aggressive that when I tell you that was gut
03:52wrenching I can only imagine I went in the room closed the door and uh I said I got to
03:58do something
03:58else so that's when I was went and sought uh psychological help um and I suggest that every
04:04individual uh even if you're coming from the military anything you experience that's traumatic
04:09uh that can create that post-traumatic stress disorder and all those mental health issues you need
04:15to seek professional help absolutely because a lot of times people don't think about it when you know
04:19you come out you think you're gonna be fine you're gonna adapt but it actually turns out harder than
04:24what you could even imagine right I'm gonna tell you Lori uh I was just at the prison Lapeer prison
04:30just before I got here shout out to all my boys up at uh Lapeer thumb prison uh you guys
04:36will receive me
04:38uh we had a great conversation and I appreciate that uh that was some of the things I was kind
04:43of uh
04:43sharing with them the miss you have to you have to break the misnomers uh one of the hardest things
04:49to do for a man or woman but especially a man is to realize your foundation is based on sand
04:55and you have to tear it down and rebuild on a solid foundation uh especially coming from prison
05:01oh yeah like I told 99% of the stuff you learn here to survive irrelevant out here in the
05:09world
05:09don't bring that with you because you won't make it so they were they were all ears oh I love
05:15that
05:15because last time they feel like they got to have that same mentality when they go out yeah I didn't
05:19I wouldn't think that you feel like they want to change you want to change your life when you go
05:22past those doors man it's so but it's different man it is it's so it's so it was a long
05:27time before
05:28my wife could uh touch my face or kiss me if I was asleep if I was unconscious she couldn't
05:34uh because I
05:34jumped up in defense mode because so it's that part of the thing you know uh I hear keys jiggling
05:40because that's what the corrections officers used to do they will come by in the middle of the night
05:44and jiggle the keys real loud so affecting your sleep right so that noise would trigger me um I'm
05:52still to this day hyper sensitive like if I if I'm deep sleep but I hear something drop in the
05:58kitchen
05:58I'm up so now I have to sleep with a noise like a soft soft noise like uh rain or
06:04wind blowing on
06:05my on my phone to so I can stay asleep uh it's it's it's uh it can be some built
06:11-in trauma out
06:11there a little while it make you emotional too I'm so sorry you have to deal with all that but
06:15it's
06:15you know but here I am and then that helped you build your book that you can present to us
06:20today
06:20yes yes which is up from ashes yes but you came from it I'm telling you that's that is an
06:26incredible
06:27story and I I'm really excited to dive a little deeper into the book because like you said it took
06:33a little while yeah you let it brew you let it stir in there for a little bit yes ma
06:37'am so my next
06:38question is what's what what's one myth that people believe about returning citizens that you wish would
06:45just disappear hmm I think I think a lot of pressures are put on uh a lot of people returning
06:54families feel like oh I'll be okay since he or she is out now right and they don't have a
07:01clue
07:01they need support so I think the biggest myth is thinking that these individuals are returning with a
07:10with a plan that everything will be fine and once they touch down everybody lives that they touch are
07:17going to be fine that pressure along with mental health issues that was not probably never treated
07:25before during the after substance abuse issues that they never brought up before during the after
07:30right so they kept that secret uh disabilities physical disabilities cancer or something like that
07:36that they never had resolved the prison system never resolved it so they coming out with that
07:41that's a lot of pressure and then for people to be looking towards them especially as a melanated man
07:46you don't want to seem like you don't have the answers right that is so uh I wish it wasn't
07:51like
07:52that and I know society makes us feel that way but it's okay not to have the answers it's okay
07:57to be to realize I'm broken but that's the I think that's the biggest myth and I hope that the
08:03support
08:03for individuals that are returning changes more to a kind of nurturing thing absolutely I feel like
08:09we definitely need more of that yeah unless so so much force you know probably wouldn't make so much
08:15aggression out of men you know I I agree with that 100% I do yes ma'am and um
08:20what what are practical
08:22first steps for someone uh that can help them realize they're operating from unsolved pain like
08:30what's some steps they can do to help them get through that trauma I think first and foremost
08:35you have to be honest with yourself and you have to seek help that's that's you know especially in
08:42melanated again that because that's all I know because a lot of men doesn't don't well don't feel
08:47that they need therapy well well and I'm gonna take uh they so I'm gonna I'm gonna go a step
08:52further
08:53they realize it but it's it to them that appears weak oh I always felt like it was a pride
09:00thing but
09:00yeah it's a weakness to them or if I get therapy it's weak I it's like I don't know the
09:06answers
09:06it seems like especially melanated men if I don't have the answer to everything and if I can't save
09:12everybody then I'm not being doing my part and so it's a they pile a lot on themselves but no
09:18I think
09:19first and foremost mental health and what I like I told the guys earlier not just mental fine so figure
09:26out who you like to talk to for me I had it had to be an older gentleman I've always
09:31clicked with
09:31older dudes uh those my age are younger I'll I can counsel them and talk with them but you know
09:39yeah I need I need to be around a dude older than me yeah and then definitely melanated and
09:45understanding where I come from I grew up on the west side Detroit number streets really rough really
09:50tough uh so you have to be able to identify with that not just because you got the paper on
09:54the wall
09:54so because trust in a relationship in therapy is important so first and foremost I would say that
10:01next I would say which comes into a uh close close with hand in hand with the first establishing
10:09start listening to your spiritual self your your higher conscience uh I think that's very important
10:18yes uh my my level is connection with a higher power spiritual I don't care what you call that entity
10:26but higher power
10:28connection with yourself connection with your family then your community oh I love that you
10:36you you gotta have levels yeah you got levels to it and uh without doing that um if you skip
10:42any of those
10:43you're missing out a lot so it's it's a lot of fears man uh coming out of there and you
10:48understand
10:48the first hand yeah and that's why you've been working on other things you even worked on a children's
10:55book yes I did which is loosely based on my life so when the boy who never won wins it
11:00all
11:00man that is like one of my jewels I've actually been in uh Ypsilanti school system
11:06Macomb uh school system Detroit you've been all over yeah you read you read this book to the kids
11:12I do I've read it to the I should have forward uh forwarded you a uh uh next time please
11:17do because
11:18my son I have I have my son here he would have he gonna love that oh he would love
11:21a book I got
11:22one for you and I'm gonna sign it oh please yes right so so he so this book is just
11:28in just to sum it
11:30up Malachi is 10 years old grew up without a father he's in in the inner city uh his mother
11:37poor you know she had her own issues I didn't go deep into that because it's a children book
11:41um so he every day he'll see children playing with shiny things or new clothes he always had hand-me
11:47-downs
11:48and he just felt kind of bad because he never had what other children had or could afford that
11:52and so every day he's walking kind of with his head down kicking a can and I'm almost 60 so
11:59when I
11:59was growing up uh matriarchs used to sit on the porch you know you have auntie and grandma sitting
12:04on the porch watching the community yeah well the this the sister was sitting on the porch she seen
12:09him and uh she said hey you know come over here young man let me talk to you so he
12:14went over there
12:14they introduced themselves and she said he explained his issue and she said well what if I showed you
12:20how what riches truly are he was like okay so she began to explain to him loving yourself loving your
12:28family loving your community doing the best you can even if you don't have the best it's not about
12:33the material so she went deep with him and he accepted that and next you know he was smiling and
12:39then the children that had the things wanted to play with him because he had a shinier disposition
12:43the the moral of it is that um your conditions might not immediately change right your your where you live
12:51the fact that you don't have things might not change today or tomorrow but what can change
12:57is your mindset because once you get into a mindset of positivity as you grow you're gonna go to school
13:04you go to college or get a tray you're going to create the life you always wanted and then the
13:09material things ain't gonna matter because you're gonna so be so deeply spiritual but you'll still get
13:14some things you like exactly oh that's that's important that's deep i love that you get that
13:18from a children's book see listen it resonates deep thank you so i would love i would love a copy
13:24i got you
13:24and you know before we get out i have to ask what kind of legacy are you intentionally building
13:30i uh funny you say that my grandchildren i love them uh they respect me um i i want my
13:41being a child
13:43addict being a child delinquent being a victim of abuse being an ex-offender uh justice impacted i want
13:53that to be the footnote yes i want my life to resonate i help someone
14:00uh i cared for people yes i brought my best self forward i'm gonna tell you i always say this
14:09three ways people get you know their success through business or whatever they're doing
14:13the first is you're a good looking person good looking people men and women normally get doors
14:18open for them that's yes is what it next is people with money because money brings influence so they get
14:23doors open for them right then you have people like myself i'm not particularly good looking and i don't
14:29have money but i'm authentic yes authenticity will get you in rooms that money can't oh and so as
14:36long as you stay the course of doing what the great spirit has directed you to do and you're treating
14:44people how you would want to be treated and not treating people how you wouldn't want to be treated
14:48eventually things go up and up so that's my i want to show that that's my life i i was
14:54geared
14:54towards making humanity a little bit better oh i love it i love it i love it and of course
14:59where
15:00can we go to get your book up from ashes well you can go to my website up from ashes
15:06dot b-i-z dot biz
15:08or simply just go to amazon up from ashes uh the streets prison redemption is there as well as the
15:15children's book when the boy who when the boy who never won wins at all both are there and i've
15:20got
15:20a few more things coming in the very near future okay so we're gonna be looking out for you thank
15:26you very much i appreciate that thank you so much mr dr lardale for stopping by salute your girl
15:31lorry mack for 105 when the bounce
15:33you
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