00:00My girlfriends are dating each other, but they are only officially in a relationship with me.
00:05These are my girlfriends. A lot of people wonder if I'm manipulating the situation.
00:12Usually when I pick out their clothes, I like to give them a couple options because
00:15they like to think they're in charge. So if you give them options,
00:18it makes them think that they are in charge. They think that she is
00:22ringleader. It's a cult, it's a cult, and this is getting out of hand.
00:26It's harder for me because I don't know what my polyamorous looks like.
00:30You know me personally. I can be a tad like controlling.
00:33A tad.
00:37People assume that this relationship is only for my benefit.
00:42Hi, I'm Kwasi.
00:43Hi, I'm Tavia.
00:44And hi, I'm Diamond.
00:46Me and Tavia met on TikTok.
00:48When we started dating, we did disclose with each other that we were poly.
00:55The way that Diamond joined our relationship, she seen her on, she was on a web series on YouTube.
01:02She was like, you have to see this girl. She looked amazing.
01:05I was like, all right now, this is given, this is given.
01:09And later, cocky, I get all the girls done. I don't know about that.
01:15And I do.
01:15And I really kind of like kept segwaying away from the idea. I got invited to a stream.
01:22And who did I just so happen to run into at the stream? Diamond.
01:26And who did I match with on the stream? Diamond.
01:29So that is how we ended up here.
01:31A month later, I got to meet Kwasi because she said her girlfriend thought I was cute too.
01:37And I was like, well, you know, I like girlfriends. Let's meet the girlfriend.
01:41And yeah, the rest is history.
01:43Baby, this is why I asked you to stack these up.
01:49Kwasi and I are dating. They were in a relationship first, but I met Tavia.
01:55And we had a lot of time to be with each other. So when I met, Kwasi was more so
02:02a confirmation that I could have the individual relationship with Tavia.
02:07But after meeting each other, we were like, you know, we also can date each other as well too.
02:12From day one, from the beginning, I was like, we're going to date.
02:14But I literally told Diamond, I said, don't ask me until you are ready.
02:18Like, I don't want it to feel like forced between us.
02:20So I was like, ask me when you're ready. We can date until then. I'm okay with it.
02:26I don't date anybody outside of our relationship.
02:28I don't want to date anybody outside of our relationship.
02:31So I'm going to pick me and Kwasi's options.
02:35When I first started picking out Kwasi's outfits, she just was like, hey, I like the way you dress.
02:41And I was like, hey, can I pick out your outfit? It just turned into like a love language.
02:44And then when we got with Diamond, I just asked her the same thing.
02:48I was like, can I pick out your outfit? Sometimes they protest, but most times they love it.
02:53So this is the outfit that I picked up for me.
02:55This is going to be Kwasi's more baggier option.
02:58And then I'm going to try to see if she wants a more girlier look.
03:03We are going to go with this for a tighter look.
03:08We're going to see which one she chooses.
03:12This one.
03:12This one, okay.
03:14So we have a more girlier look today.
03:16Oh, I messed up my nose in critical condition.
03:18Here, let me fix it.
03:21We understand that we don't have to do everything together.
03:24We don't try to force each other's like interest.
03:27Like me and her are really into like different things.
03:30We just...
03:30We do puzzles and or Legos.
03:34Legos is our thing.
03:36I'm going to go get lip liner.
03:38Oh, I'm messing up.
03:40Here we go, cut.
03:42You guys always have matching hair styles.
03:44Ah!
03:45She just went blonde and she really enjoyed it.
03:48I was blonde for a hot second, but then I seen a hairstyle online.
03:52She just really liked green.
03:53When I first came to LA, I had locks, but I was like, within the first two months,
03:57I want to cut it off.
03:58So I want everybody to know that was the me thing that I wanted to do, all right?
04:06The judgment that we faced from others was the type of polyamory that we practiced.
04:13There we go.
04:13A lot of people wonder if I'm manipulating the situation, if she's using the situation,
04:20and if she's just has no brain of her own, she's just here for the ride.
04:25They don't think that it will ever equal out.
04:28She found her way in this bed and now she's still.
04:32A lot of people online think that me and her relationship doesn't look at all romantic.
04:39They think that she is...
04:42Ringleader.
04:42Ringleader or forcing us to do everything.
04:45And then you don't leave out, just lean over.
04:49Sis sounds a little selfish or controlling.
04:51I think y'all are just open.
04:53These different type of relationships be killing me.
04:55It's just rules to the game.
04:57I ain't sharing if my babe truly find me.
04:58Why y'all keep forcing these weirdos on us?
05:02Some are just funny.
05:03It's a cult.
05:03It's a cult.
05:04And this is getting out of hand.
05:06I think that it is very questionable that any time people cannot see something past a certain
05:13dynamic they are used to, it has to be a cult.
05:16It's stupid to assume that anybody is being manipulated.
05:22It's just such a small way of thinking.
05:24It's like, if you know it's personally, cool.
05:26If not, it's just, it's really nothing to speak on.
05:30We practice hierarchy polyamory, which in summary means that there's one person in the relationship
05:35that ultimately makes certain final decisions.
05:38When you tell people that, they hear what I say goes and nothing else.
05:42And that's just not what it is.
05:46For two seconds, please.
05:48When we got into our dynamic, the deal between us was if she found someone interesting,
05:54she would let me know that they were interesting and I would be the one to vet them.
05:58The hierarchy was more based on how we went about in our dating life.
06:02Now at the place that we're at, it's an even playing field.
06:05I'm just the head of our household because I don't know where their heads go sometimes.
06:09She's like, ah, oh, Mella dead.
06:14Why do y'all act like this?
06:16We share a room, but we have a bed in the room that her clothes occupy that we segue for
06:23individual time or like one-on-one time with each other.
06:27And we also have a master bedroom, but all open to each other, both rooms at any time.
06:34It would be crazy to say no one's ever got jealous, but I can honestly, truly say
06:40we haven't really had a like talk about jealousy.
06:43It's just like natural stuff.
06:44Like, hey, like I would like some more time with you or you or both of you or whatever.
06:49And, but not, not jealousy.
06:51And I'm the big baby.
06:52So I'll be like, yeah, I swear to God.
06:59Jessica is my best friend.
07:03Jessica is going to come over and kind of shed the light,
07:07her concerns about our poly dynamic.
07:10And one thing about Jess, she can ruffle some feathers.
07:12So this should be very interesting.
07:21Jessica is going to struggle.
07:22Amy is going to be very interesting.
07:23You are just going to start seeing her that she can't really see.
07:29You are just going to think.
07:33You can't do it.
07:36You're going to be very interesting.
07:39You're just going to see her, she's going to talk to everyone about my favorite
07:39now, but there's two best friends that she knows.
07:41We're all going to be friends.
07:43And, let's get together.
07:43So, yeah.
07:45It's a cool, you guys.
07:46Hi guys. How are y'all doing? What y'all been up to?
07:51Navigating.
07:52Navigating what?
07:53Our relationship.
07:54Oh, y'all breaking up?
07:56No.
07:57Why did you start smiling?
08:00What's like the hurdle? Good or bad?
08:03I think that it's just been a lot of feels, a lot of emotions, even up to yesterday.
08:13We just are just trying to figure out what our dynamic looks like in a healthy way.
08:20It's harder for me because I don't know what my polyamorous looks like.
08:23What about you, long head?
08:26Hey, short head.
08:28But I feel like for me, I have been having a really good time.
08:32I feel like I've been learning a lot about myself and our dynamic.
08:35So you plan on doing this long term, like, so we can have fun?
08:42Girl, we can still have fun if I do this long term.
08:45I would love to do this long term, but you know me personally.
08:49I can be a tad, like, controlling and not even in the sense of, like, selfish ways.
08:55Like, I think that's what it is.
08:56I think what makes me face it each day is we genuinely do enjoy each other.
08:59And when we're good, we're, like, real good.
09:02But I think everyone just has an issue with consistency.
09:06Do you still feel concerns about her being new to poly?
09:10Yeah.
09:12Y'all haven't really been dating.
09:14It has been a year yet.
09:16April.
09:16Yeah.
09:17After April, then my concerns will leave.
09:19Okay.
09:21April is literally in a month.
09:23Well, I think you guys work really good together, of course, because you're a Gemini, you're a Leo, and you're
09:31a Sag, and I think that's a good combo.
09:33But it works because it's fun.
09:37I think people forget that a lot of times things have to be fun and a little light.
09:44Meeting each other has changed us because we challenge and yet give each other pieces that other people have taken
09:53away from us over the years.
09:55Our dynamic works because everybody is their own person individually.
09:59We all cater to ourselves first.
10:01Like, you have to love on you first, and then we pour into each other in the way that we
10:05need.
10:07Open up your mind enough to know that our life doesn't have to look like your life.
10:10Also, give everyone grace to just live.
10:13At the end of the day, we'll probably outlast y'all relationships anyway.
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