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03:02Çak tome, where are you going?
03:04Bowling
03:04Best friends Danielle and Daniella
03:08Nice
03:08Because apparently my personality doesn't come out over a coffee
03:12But my personality might come out in a positive way over bowling
03:15I'm going to be honest
03:16I'm really competitive
03:17You're competitive and you're an arsehole
03:19I know but I'm going to pretend I'm not tomorrow
03:22I'm going to wait until we're married
03:26On Saturday night, famous faces in fancy dress were having a sing-song on ITV
03:32Nothing says episode finale like a glass of Prosecco
03:37The only good thing about this programme, Charles, is it's the final
03:41Which will allow us time for our brain cells to regenerate
03:44Regenerate
03:45Having been turned to mush by watching it
03:47Who are you? Who are you?
03:50Who's there behind the mask?
03:52Woo!
03:54Who's behind the mask?
03:55That's an older version
03:57Who's behind the mask like?
03:59First up tonight, they came, they saw
04:01Or will they conquer?
04:03It's conquer!
04:05Oh!
04:06Let's see what he did there
04:07Who chose to dress up as a conquer?
04:09I love a conquer
04:12Look out for clues, Daniella
04:14There's clues in here
04:15Every jest has been in the future
04:18But now, reality
04:19Reality?
04:21Is that in a reality show?
04:22See, when they talk in this silly voice
04:25You don't know who's what, where, when
04:27They sound the same, don't they?
04:28I'm having kittens just thinking about it
04:31Kittens?
04:32Or pussycat dolls
04:52Kittens?
04:52I woke up today with this feeling
04:54The better things are coming my way
04:58It's not a...
04:59It's not a pussycat doll
05:01It's not a pussycat doll
05:02Why?
05:02Cos it's a bloke
05:03And if the sunshine hasn't mean it
05:06It's telling me not to let things get in the way
05:09I know that voice
05:10Yeah, that's definitely not a singer of that
05:12Yeah, they're singing it
05:14Yeah, they're singing it
05:14Yeah, they're singing it
05:16When you're down, baby
05:17Take a good look around
05:20This is a terrible force, George, isn't it?
05:23Oh, who the bloody hell could it be?
05:25Susie Dent, baby
05:26She's not cocky
05:28Matt
05:29Get on up
05:30Yeah!
05:34Who do you think is behind the mask?
05:37Absolutely no idea
05:38What about him off this morning?
05:41Who?
05:43McDermott
05:46Oh, it's Moth
05:47Oh, she's brilliant
05:49You'll usually find me singing uptown with the girls
05:52Uptown with the girls
05:54Flare East
05:55Cos she sang uptown funk
05:57I'm running rings around those other mask singers
06:01Hoops, rings, Olympics
06:03Right, Kelly Holmes
06:04Oh, I've not got a clue with all this
06:08I wanna take a bit of time
06:11Oh, a little time
06:14A little time to think things over
06:17Let me listen to the voice
06:20Better read between the lines
06:23Whoever the fuck this is can sing anyway, jeez
06:26With a voice like that, that's got to be a professional
06:29I don't know
06:30If I could face it again
06:33Oh, I love her voice
06:35This is Janet Jackson this, Soph
06:37I'm telling you now
06:38Is it shite?
06:40I wanna know I love it
06:44I wanna know I love it
06:46I do think it's Flare East
06:49And I can't even remember now
06:50I want you to show me
06:53I want you to show me
06:54I want you to show me
06:55I want you to show me
06:56I want you to love it
06:57I want you to love it
06:58You're right into it, haven't you?
06:59I want you to love it
07:01I want you to love it
07:01It's gotta be someone from a UK girl band, innit?
07:04Like Mystique, Sugar Babes
07:06What about Mucha Bueno?
07:10She gotta win it, Liv
07:12Moth gotta win it
07:13Without a shadow of a doubt
07:15After revealing the champion
07:17It's Mum!
07:20Yes!
07:21Yes!
07:22Deserved and all
07:22We got to see who was who
07:25Take it off, take it off
07:30Take it off, take it off
07:30Take it off
07:30You're too fast, Mum
07:32Too fast
07:33Take it off
07:33Take it off
07:35Oh, my God
07:36What the fuck?
07:37No!
07:39Ben Shepard?
07:40I guessed it was Cat Dealey, Natty
07:44But I'd forgotten that it was a man singing
07:47I think he was doing something else
07:48Was he climbing them out or something?
07:50Yeah
07:50Ben Shepard's a multi-talented man
07:52He does sky sports as well
07:54Mark is our 2026 champion
07:57And it is time
07:58Oh, here we go
07:59Come on
08:00Let's see what it is then
08:01Come on, Mark
08:02Everybody
08:02Take it off
08:04Take it off
08:05Take it off
08:06So once again, park your brain at the reception
08:09And join them in saying
08:11Take it off
08:12Take it off
08:14Take it off
08:17Take it off
08:18Take it off
08:20Take it off
08:21Take it off
08:21Take it off
08:22Take it off
08:23It's Peter!
08:27It's Peter!
08:28Oh, it's her at a sugar babes.
08:31GELRIK
08:32LIEF
08:32You were close with one of the sugar babes, you just got the wrong babe.
08:36Put it this way. When I was trying to describe me image,
08:40it was Ben Shepard here but McDermott here.
08:45It's not McDermott.
08:49What's his first name?
08:51McDermott.
08:53What is his second name?
08:54McDermott or Levy.
08:55Why am I calling him McDermott?
08:58Has anyone ever called him that before?
09:04Why is it that as soon as something happens in this house
09:08everyone screams my name?
09:10Dad!
09:11The power went off yesterday, we had a power cut.
09:14Sarah, her husband Andre and their daughter Shay.
09:18All the light's gone off and Aidan turns around to me like,
09:20Dad, what's happened? I was like, we got a power cut.
09:23Two seconds later, who is it shouting down the stairs?
09:27Shay, Dad! Dad! There's no power!
09:30I'm like, yes, Shay, it's called a power cut.
09:33Fix it!
09:33Everything is, Dad! Dad!
09:36Yes, Shay! Yes, Aidan! Yes, Sarah!
09:40What do you want me to do?
09:41No, no, because Shay came into the room when I was watching TV.
09:44Yeah!
09:45Did you do it?
09:47I said, yeah.
09:48And I said, God, ask your dad.
09:50Oh, is that your fault then?
09:52Dad!
09:53On Tuesday night, we got some cost-cutting tips
09:56for our holidays on Channel 4.
09:58This is right up your Strava, isn't it, Padders?
10:01Oh, yeah.
10:01Surprised you haven't got a little notebook out.
10:03It's all going in, don't you worry.
10:05I'll tell you what, if you watch this
10:07and you book a holiday and it's a good price,
10:10I'll be amazed.
10:12Yeah.
10:12Cos you can't even check in online.
10:16Is there anything more satisfying and exciting
10:21than being on holiday?
10:24No!
10:25No, it depends where you are and who you're with.
10:28What are you looking at me like that?
10:30Because every time we've gone on holiday together,
10:32there's always been a fucking disaster.
10:33Yes, a bargain holiday, of course.
10:37OK.
10:38OK, chat to me.
10:39Everybody loves a bargain, don't they?
10:41Yes.
10:41This time, I'm going all in on that oh-so-indulgent,
10:47all-singing, all-dancing holiday, the all-inclusive.
10:51I love an all-inclusive.
10:53I never, ever go all-inclusive.
10:55That is criminal.
10:57Can-can.
10:58Let's go to Can-can.
10:59Let's go to Can-can, Mary.
11:01Well, Philip said we should go there, actually.
11:03Philip?
11:04Wetton.
11:05Oh, yeah.
11:08When you go to all-inclusive,
11:11as soon as you open your eyes,
11:13the trick is to start drinking.
11:15Like, me and Ben love an 8am gin on the balcony.
11:18But this is the problem.
11:20It's Scroats like you.
11:23Let's take the piss and ruin it for everybody else.
11:29Secrets of...
11:30No.
11:31I like a bit of mystery.
11:33You love a buffet.
11:34I will tell you what the secret is.
11:35You actually love a buffet.
11:36You've got to stop going for the carbs.
11:38You need to fill up on the meat and the seafood.
11:41That is how you get your buck's worth.
11:45With so much choice, all free,
11:48it's hard not to go overboard.
11:50At the buffet, it'd be so easy to overindulge.
11:53Yes, you can pile your plate with anything you want.
11:56And then go back for seconds.
11:57Well, you see, you can't on the manjaro.
12:00It'd be no good.
12:01But there is a good reason to plate your food thoughtfully.
12:04Plate it thoughtfully?
12:06Yeah.
12:06It's called your waistline, isn't it?
12:09I don't know.
12:10I'm meeting Professor Barry Smith,
12:12an expert in the psychology behind our food choices.
12:16Of course a Barry Smith would suck the fun out of an all-inclusive.
12:20What else was Barry Smith put on this world for?
12:22Seriously, it's not...
12:23I mean, you eat with your eyes, Professor Barry Smith.
12:26Is that what he's going to say?
12:27He's going to tell me how to get maximum pleasure
12:30from my all-inclusive smash and grabs.
12:32Is he going to tell us how to eat at a buffet?
12:35You know what, I need this.
12:36I need this.
12:36I'm disgusted.
12:37No, I need this.
12:38I think they're eating too much into this.
12:40You just get your plate of food and say, I'll need it.
12:42We eat first with our eyes.
12:44You say, that looks delicious.
12:46Oh, I tell you what, he's on the ball, eh?
12:47He is.
12:48Oh!
12:49I could be Professor Jane Minty, really.
12:52And even in the buffet, it's spread out in a way that's attractive.
12:55So don't undo all that work by piling everything on the same plate
12:59in a haphazard way.
13:00Oh, Jay!
13:03Don't like that.
13:04You know when you see it piled up like that, I don't like that.
13:07I think that looks horrible.
13:09I'd rather go up ten times.
13:11Well, you do.
13:12I have to say, I have been guilty of piling far too many things
13:18on my plate at a buffet.
13:19Yeah, yeah, it's you.
13:20I'm with you, darling.
13:21That is you.
13:22100% hundy-pundy.
13:23Get there and that's, fuck, there's pasta.
13:25Let's put a bit of that on.
13:27It's still there.
13:28You just go and eat.
13:28Does it matter that carbonara doesn't really go with berf bourguignon?
13:32No.
13:33Wrang.
13:34We have to be our own chefs, as it were,
13:37and think, what's the right menu here?
13:39Oh, where's the fun in that?
13:41No, I like it.
13:42I like the orderliness of it all.
13:44No, I don't like that this guy's trying to tell me I'll sweep my dinner.
13:47Arrange it in such a way as it would be attractive
13:50if you were offering that plate to someone else.
13:52To someone else.
13:52Now, I'd be naffed, wouldn't I, trying to build a plate for you?
13:55Huh?
13:56Yeah.
13:57Well, it start off with a bit of dry bread.
14:00Yeah.
14:01Chips.
14:02Chips.
14:02Chips, yeah.
14:03Chicken.
14:04Just chicken and dry bread.
14:06Bit of dry bread.
14:08Shirley's happy.
14:09And that's it.
14:09I mean, we can arrange stuff so that it doesn't,
14:11things don't cross-contaminate.
14:13Like, I wouldn't want me Indian touching my Chinese
14:15and my Chinese touching me British, do you know what I mean?
14:19Sounds like the farm.
14:32In Manchester...
14:32Sean, seeing what your dad did.
14:34Give me this for Valentine's Day, I saw it.
14:37The diamond straw.
14:38Bought me something jewellery-ish.
14:41Got it out of the bag.
14:42Box of chocolates.
14:43The Malones.
14:45It's the fart that counts, isn't it?
14:46Valentine's Day.
14:48Why would you put it in a diamond bag?
14:51A diamond straw bag.
14:53Why would you do that?
14:55It's pleasing on the eye.
14:57You know, it's...
14:58Ta-da!
15:00Chocolates.
15:01What do you give chocolates to Sean for, anyway?
15:06On Saturday night, we were back in Sheffield
15:09with the fittest people on telly.
15:12Ugh.
15:15That went in my mouth.
15:16You know, when you used to go to the gym for that one time?
15:19Yeah.
15:20What was the best apparatus you used to use?
15:22Did you use one?
15:23The toilet.
15:24I used to go sit on it for a sit-down.
15:26You're a gladiator!
15:30Do you know what somebody was saying to me the other day?
15:33That they exercise for the mental health.
15:34And I actually think that exercise makes my mental health worse.
15:38Like, I'm being serious.
15:39I hate it that much.
15:41In the programme, contenders Helena and Nicky
15:44were ready to face off in the final game.
15:50Oh, this is the cutscene.
15:52This is my favourite.
15:53Never been to a gym in my life.
15:55I would rather stick pins in my eyes than go to a gym.
15:58Contenders, ready!
16:01Come on, girls.
16:02Three, two, one.
16:05Oh!
16:07Here goes Nicky with the first hurdle.
16:09Oh, awkward landing.
16:11That might have jarred.
16:12Oh, Nicky!
16:13Oh, that'll cost her.
16:15The second hurdle was a little bit awkward for Nicky, too.
16:18Let's see what her upper body strength's like.
16:20Oh, she's just a wee girl.
16:21Look at her.
16:21I just could not do that.
16:23It's a real struggle.
16:25Nicky can't get her feet on the platform.
16:27Use your legs.
16:28Use your legs up the rope.
16:29Nicky really struggling as Helena gets onto the overhead.
16:33Nicky's not getting up that rope at all, Jane.
16:36Finally, Nicky is up there.
16:38Oh, she's on.
16:38Oh!
16:39And jumps for the first rug at the ladder, but she's gone.
16:42She missed it.
16:43Oh, no.
16:44She must have had slippy hands.
16:46Slippy neck.
16:47Don't laugh.
16:48Don't laugh at our Nicky, bless her.
16:50Well, it's wide open now for Helena to go.
16:53Through and win this eliminator.
16:55Helena's won this.
16:55She's just got to take her time now, hasn't it?
16:58Nicky takes on the rope once more.
17:00Oh, she could hardly get up it.
17:02The first time she's got no fucking chance this time, hasn't she?
17:04She needs someone to bellow in her ear.
17:07You've got this.
17:10Here we go.
17:11It does the same thing.
17:13Nicky's up there.
17:14Another jump and another fall.
17:16Again!
17:16Oh, fucking.
17:18I think I'd give up at that stage.
17:20Well, I would, yes.
17:20I'd get to have a gin and tonic.
17:21Oh, I hope in hell.
17:22A mistake pre-finish.
17:24Oh, they'd give her a ladder.
17:26Ladder?
17:27What, they'd give her a ladder?
17:28What's that about?
17:29Reasonable adjustments.
17:31Yeah.
17:32That's what that is.
17:33You know what?
17:33Now I've seen that ladder, I might enter this.
17:35All Nicky can do is keep going.
17:38If I ever got on gladiators, I want to go against Nicky.
17:40I can't wait to see her on the zip line.
17:43Straight on the deck.
17:45Straight deck.
17:46Now for the travelator.
17:48As she takes a moment to look around.
17:50Here we go.
17:51The humble eater.
17:52Helena's going insultingly slow, isn't she?
17:54No, no.
17:55Here goes Helena.
17:57Come on, Helena!
17:59Go on, Helena!
18:00First run of the travelator.
18:02Game.
18:02Simon.
18:03She's not making any progress, Mary.
18:05And she's going to run out of steam here.
18:07Oh, no, she's collapsed!
18:09Well, that's not very good, is it?
18:11She's still got ages, though.
18:13And all of a sudden, there's a confident stride about Nicky in blue.
18:17Helena, get up there.
18:18She's behind you.
18:20She'll be able to sense that Nicky is now close behind.
18:23Oh, no!
18:24Oh, she's got a game!
18:26Let's go!
18:27She might be even closer in a moment.
18:30Oh!
18:30Oh!
18:31I've had so much strength before this show.
18:34Ah!
18:34Not even on a piece of apparatus and she's falling over.
18:37Nicky's falling over a flat floor.
18:39I've never seen an eliminator like this.
18:42Wait, is Nicky going to do it?
18:43Surely Nicky can't win because she's still had that.
18:46Can Nicky achieve the impossible?
18:47This one!
18:49Come on, Nicky!
18:50Is it worth it, ladies?
18:52Yet another ball means she has to start again.
18:55Wait, this has gone down to the wire, hasn't it?
18:58And they go together.
18:59Come on!
19:00Come on!
19:01Oh, my God!
19:02Oh, my goodness!
19:03Who's got it left in them?
19:05Go on!
19:06Go on!
19:06Go on!
19:07Come on, Helena!
19:08Come on!
19:09Run, run, run, run!
19:10It's a powerful run here!
19:12Helena's made it!
19:13Oh, wow!
19:14She's up!
19:15Helena's up!
19:16And she holds on!
19:18Well done!
19:19What a fight!
19:20She's been so, so determined to finish!
19:24Finally!
19:25But do you know what?
19:25You've got to give it to Nicky for just catching up.
19:28Yeah.
19:28Fair play.
19:29She gave it her best.
19:31If at first you don't succeed, try and try and then get a set of steps.
19:40in Leeds.
19:41Well, Margaret's back from her holiday and I haven't heard a peep from her.
19:46Well, I've heard off her this morning and I thought, no, I'm too happy to see you today.
20:20I thought, I'm busy for the next 11 days.
20:21You don't need a town crier with relatives like her.
20:24No!
20:25This week, we were back in the box looking for love on Netflix.
20:29Love can be quite blind, can't it?
20:31If you think about it, because you see some people together and you just go, that isn't really right.
20:40You have to see somebody.
20:42Yeah, but you're lookest.
20:43I'm totally lookest, 100%.
20:46I'm judgy.
20:47I judge you.
20:54Kevin is talking to two girls and he's leading them both on.
20:59Not picked between the two of them yet, but he's letting each one think they're the only one.
21:05I'm just going to say it because I just can't with this whole fucking secret of shit.
21:08Like, it's me and Kia.
21:10Oh, wow.
21:10Tyler's going to make Kevin choose here.
21:12Me or her, let's go.
21:13You and Kia have been phenomenal.
21:17I don't want to fucking let anybody down.
21:20Oh.
21:21Oh, you got to.
21:22I don't know what your journey is with Kia, but what I would need, like, today is for you to...
21:30Choose me.
21:31Exactly.
21:32Only be dating me.
21:33I've been put on the spot like that a few times, bro.
21:38I guarantee he's going to deflect this and not make a choice.
21:42You've been just so fucking steady rock fighting for it.
21:48So fucking steady rock.
21:51Like, wow.
21:52Then pick her.
21:54What are you waiting for?
21:56That's true love right there.
21:57That's fucking true love.
22:00Why do you have to swear all the time, Kevin?
22:02He does have a potty mouth, doesn't he?
22:04So what are you going to do, Kevin?
22:07She's done with the bullshit there, Kevin.
22:09What are you going to do?
22:10She's putting an end down.
22:11Make a choice.
22:11I am.
22:11I am choosing...
22:13Yes.
22:14Fucking Tyler.
22:16Oh, I don't like the F word being used.
22:18Fucking Tyler.
22:19This is truly...
22:20You didn't say that.
22:21You didn't.
22:22Are we, like, official?
22:26You are currently my girl.
22:29Currently.
22:29Don't know what's going to happen later on in your date, but right now, we're good.
22:34I mean, if you think about it, you know, Paige is currently my wife.
22:36That's your current wife.
22:37Yeah, that's the current wife.
22:39Sounds like bloody Henry VIII.
22:41Tyler still had a few questions about Kevin's other love interest.
22:46Is there any parts of you that feel like you have, like, feelings of love for her?
22:51Oh, hang on.
22:52The answer here is no.
22:55No, none.
22:56She's dead to me.
22:57Is he going to know that?
23:00Love is a very strong word.
23:05I'm thinking, well...
23:07But I will say, you know, definitely, you know, bonded, exchanged gifts.
23:13It's relating to a lot of...
23:16A lot of stuff.
23:17What?
23:18Spit it out, Kevod.
23:19He's kindest not saying anything.
23:22How are you going to tell me that?
23:23You literally asked me to be your girlfriend.
23:26I don't know if he asked you.
23:27I think you asked him to ask you.
23:29Yeah.
23:30I'm going to go.
23:31There we go.
23:32Oh, she's going.
23:33Well, she's laid it on the table.
23:35Kevin, what are you going to do?
23:36Well, he's going to use that as an excuse to go with the other girl now.
23:39You reckon?
23:39She's too feisty.
23:40She's too much.
23:41I think it might draw him closer.
23:43Tyler, don't go.
23:45This man has no conviction to his words like this.
23:49Don't go.
23:50Don't go.
23:51Please, you're the love of my life.
23:53I fucking love you.
23:54I mean...
23:58Tyler makes me feel like she may be the one.
24:00Oh, he's choosing Tyler.
24:03So I'm ready to see if she's available and she's ready to see me.
24:07Okay.
24:08The next day.
24:10Yeah.
24:14Tyler?
24:15Is she there?
24:16I bet she hasn't turned up.
24:19Hello, hello.
24:22Go away.
24:23She's not there.
24:24She's gone.
24:25She's pushed off.
24:29Oh!
24:31Oh, no!
24:33Nobody's on the other side.
24:35Now, that's the way Capco, isn't it?
24:38Yeah.
24:38Well, plan B now.
24:40Plan B.
24:41Er, Kaya!
24:42Hey!
24:43Hi!
24:44Oh, you'll be cool.
24:45Jesus Christ.
24:46God knows where this is going to go.
24:48How are we feeling?
24:50We are feeling good.
24:52I'm like, Kaya, listen.
24:53I know I didn't choose you, but I choose you now.
24:55That's all that matters.
24:56All I know is that Kaya is one of one.
25:00Kaya is here.
25:03Unlike Tyler.
25:04My heart has always been loving and caring for you.
25:10I think he's listened to one too many R&B albums, son.
25:13What a load of bloody cock and bull.
25:16Jeepers, has he heard himself?
25:18Kevin, oh, my God.
25:20Oh, she's buying it.
25:21Oh, no, she's bought it.
25:22She's bought it.
25:23Kaya, don't listen to his crap.
25:25I'll be honest.
25:26Like, I asked Tyler if you want to try to make something happen.
25:30And then Tyler went home.
25:32I didn't want to see her go either, you know?
25:35Stop!
25:36Kevin, I have love for you.
25:37And you've said so many, so many kind words to me.
25:40Here we go.
25:41I feel a butt.
25:42She ain't no fool.
25:43Do you reckon?
25:44I think she's falling for it.
25:45However.
25:47Yes, conjunction is clart.
25:49It's not even a butt, it's a however.
25:51Love it.
25:51Formal.
25:52I have to stand on business when I say that you are not the one.
25:55for me.
25:56Well played.
25:58Clock here.
25:59Yes, know your worth.
26:00Run, Mark.
26:01Yeah, Kevin.
26:02Move on, go ahead.
26:06Get your shit together, you know?
26:08Yeah.
26:09And be great.
26:11Can you remind me of the names of the other girls that's in the room?
26:14I bet he goes back in there and goes, yeah, what's your fucking all?
26:18Jeez.
26:19Fucking hard work.
26:20I can tell you.
26:21Tapped.
26:22Somebody else's problem now.
26:32In Wiltshire...
26:33In Wiltshire...
26:33Come on up here, Merlin.
26:35Where's his arm holes?
26:37Wait a minute, that's his head hole, isn't it?
26:40No.
26:40Where's the other hole, Giles?
26:41Giles and his wife, Mary.
26:44Can you be more cooperative, Merlin?
26:46Yeah.
26:47And then, oh, and then that'll help him get through the cold spell, Notty.
26:52That's it.
26:52The cold snap.
26:54This is another cold snap, Mary.
26:56Look at him.
26:57Isn't he divine?
26:58Yes.
26:59Now pull it back down again, otherwise he's going to look like...
27:01You see, he likes it with a hood.
27:03Yes.
27:04Oh, that's much better with a hood, isn't it?
27:06And he looks like...
27:06Oh, look at his beard now, he looks like Santa Claus.
27:09Now I'll give him a treat.
27:10Now he looks like Noddy Holder.
27:12On Friday, ITV News was celebrating Downing Street's most popular resident.
27:18Come here.
27:19Hello.
27:19Come here.
27:20Come here, what's this?
27:21Come on.
27:24Oh.
27:24Straight upstairs.
27:25OK, bye then.
27:27Have you ever had that ball of cheese starter?
27:31I forget what it's called, but it's just a ball of cheese.
27:35That hot cheese.
27:38I don't know if it's hot, but it's nice.
27:41Can't remember it that much, but it was very nice.
27:44Just a ball of cheese.
27:45And finally, there have been many comings and goings in Downing Street
27:48over the past 15 years.
27:50Telling me.
27:51And how.
27:52And how.
27:53A revolving door.
27:54But throughout it all, there's one resident who successfully kept his nose
27:57out of the dirty business of politics.
28:00The cat.
28:00The cat.
28:01The cat.
28:01Yeah, Larry.
28:03Has he died?
28:04No.
28:04Larry the cat was first brought in to clean out the rats in 2011.
28:08He's since gone on to worldwide fame.
28:11I reckon that explains why the comings and goings at Downing Street have been so much.
28:14He's been kicking the rats out.
28:16Oh, yeah.
28:16Oy.
28:17Thank you very much.
28:20He's served six prime ministers.
28:23I'll tell you what, if that cat could speak.
28:25Oh.
28:26Forming close friendships with some.
28:28I like how he's got his ass all up in Boris's face.
28:30I wouldn't do that as well.
28:31Less so with others.
28:34Yeah, Larry ain't feeling you.
28:35No one wants to get stroked by Liz Truss.
28:38It was these repeated appearances.
28:40Oh, the rat flying across, look.
28:42Ew.
28:43That convinced Downing Street staff it was better to have headlines about cats than rats.
28:48They do say you're never too far from a rat in London, though, don't they?
28:51They do, though, yeah.
28:52Yeah, more so in Downing Street.
28:54It led them to Battersea Dogs and Cats Home, where Larry was described as a bit of a bruiser.
29:00Quite a big van for him to be delivered in.
29:02Yeah, I don't know if that's necessary.
29:03He could have gone on an Uber.
29:04In 2011, he was adopted by then Prime Minister David Cameron.
29:09Oh, so Cameron got him.
29:11Oh, yeah.
29:11He fucked off and then left the cat as well.
29:14Well, he left us.
29:15He left a sinking ship and a muggy.
29:17Early on, Larry seemed a little overwhelmed by his new surroundings.
29:23Look at that hair tag round his neck from rags to riches.
29:27I wonder if he goes back to Basso City like give tugs.
29:31Yeah.
29:33Ted Tuck.
29:33I was once in your cages.
29:35Listen here, you lot.
29:36There's chance out there for you.
29:41In Kent.
29:42So I was in Wetherspoons, OK?
29:44And I was talking to this girl.
29:46I was really, you know, putting on the really good smooth talk.
29:49And I was like, I'll get you a pint.
29:51Michael, Sally and their sons, Jake and Harry.
29:54The pint in Wetherspoons are £1.99, OK, yeah?
29:58So I went off and I was like, yeah, nah, I got you.
30:00And I went up, yeah, pulled it, went to pay.
30:02And then my card declined.
30:03Oh, my God.
30:04It was the most embarrassing thing.
30:06It's a £1.99 drink.
30:08And I was like, yo, I was like, yo, Nathan, Nathan, come here.
30:11I need you to go, I need you to go pay.
30:12He goes, what?
30:13You need me to pay for it?
30:15You haven't got two pounds.
30:16I'm like, shut the fuck up.
30:17He's like, oh, don't worry.
30:18I've got you, bing.
30:20It was just like the most, the worst.
30:24So did she come home with you last night?
30:25No.
30:26How much money did you have?
30:27£1.90.
30:30On Sunday night, there were more contestants standing about
30:34ready to show off their specialist knowledge on ITV.
30:38Talking about floors, I got fresh floor in the kitchen
30:42in the extension.
30:45And I don't know what kind of floor it is,
30:47but it's the best floor ever.
30:49I think it's wood.
30:54I might do types of colour or something like that.
30:57Shades of colour?
30:58Yeah, shades of colour.
30:59OK.
31:00I think it's quite difficult, though.
31:03So Rob Brydon would show you a colour and you would say,
31:06I know what that is?
31:07Yeah.
31:08I'd like to see that.
31:10OK, let's light up the floor.
31:14I'm not a fan of this show.
31:15Do you know what it is?
31:16I don't feel like you find it intellectually stimulating enough.
31:19However, for me, perfect level.
31:22Oh!
31:23Oh!
31:24Oh.
31:24It's finally happened.
31:26Maybe it is quite exciting when someone lights up your box.
31:30You ought.
31:30Let's see what the choices are, Gemma.
31:33They are Mackenzie with sports teams,
31:36birds,
31:37and we've got anatomy.
31:39What the fuck's anatomy?
31:41Oh, that's your private part.
31:42Hugh was telling his teachers about the anatomies the other day.
31:45I'm going to try and spread my wings, I think.
31:47Yeah.
31:48Oh, that'll be birds.
31:50I like birds, but I wouldn't know them.
31:52I'd know a robin.
31:57Owl.
31:57Barn owl.
31:58Tawny owl.
31:59Tawny.
32:00That's a flamingo.
32:01Flamingo.
32:01I really want to see a flamingo once in my life.
32:04You've never seen a flamingo?
32:05No.
32:06Fucking hell, I have bigger dreams, mate.
32:10Ibis.
32:11Ibis.
32:11Oh.
32:12Er, crane.
32:13Stork.
32:13Stork.
32:14Ooh, good shout, darling.
32:16Oh, no!
32:17I got it!
32:18Yes!
32:19Blue tit.
32:20I wonder why they call it a blue tit.
32:22It's blue, innit?
32:23It's titsy yellow.
32:25Yeah.
32:27Cock.
32:30I got woken up by a cock this morning.
32:32Not the sort of cock I might like,
32:33but the cock in the garden.
32:34You do, haven't you?
32:37Woodpecker, woodpecker, woodpecker.
32:39Woodpecker, woodpecker.
32:40Hummingbird!
32:42That's the Jamaican national bird.
32:43Do you remember the hummingbird we had in the garden here?
32:45It wasn't a hummingbird, darling.
32:46It turned out to be a moth.
32:47It was a moth.
32:47Oh, them hummingbirds are beautiful.
32:49Pigeon!
32:52Cuckoo!
32:53It's a fancy pigeon.
32:54A mirror.
32:56Pass.
32:57It wore a cuckoo out of bloody hell.
32:59Did you know that were a cuckoo?
33:01My birds, that's right.
33:05Um...
33:05Goose.
33:06Barahawk.
33:07Sparrow!
33:08It's a fucking goose.
33:09Goose, goose, goose.
33:11Goose?
33:12Stork.
33:13Goose.
33:14Goose.
33:15Er, herring.
33:17Is this woman blind?
33:18It's a fucking goose.
33:20She's never beat the park before.
33:22Turkey.
33:23Look at that gizzard.
33:25I know, I'm just looking at it, Jen.
33:26What?
33:26What are you saying?
33:28It's funny to see a turkey in real life
33:30other than just as a white corpse on Christmas Day.
33:33Yes.
33:34What the fuck's that?
33:36Kiwi.
33:37Kiwi?
33:37Oh, that's a kiwi.
33:38We don't see many of these around, do we?
33:41What?
33:42Birds.
33:43Like these.
33:44Well, you won't see kiwis.
33:45They're native to bloody New Zealand.
33:48Aye, well, half of them.
33:49I don't know half of them.
33:50I've never seen them flying round.
33:52Well, you won't see bloody chukans and parakeets
33:55flying round Kaffili.
33:58Well done, honey.
34:00Well done.
34:02You did so well.
34:03Michelle, it's a good job you had Gemma on your team,
34:06to be honest.
34:07She's not on our team.
34:08At all.
34:09That's what we're having to eat tonight, Natty.
34:12Partridge.
34:12Are we?
34:13They've been frozen, unfrozen.
34:17They've had three hours in the car
34:19and we're eating them tonight, Mary.
34:21What's the chance of us not getting food poisoning?
34:24Well, it won't matter.
34:25It'll be good for us to be ill.
34:34In the Cotswolds.
34:36Oh, my God.
34:37The tanning shop just wished me happy Valentine's Day.
34:40Well, I bet they did, darling,
34:41because you probably kept them going for the last five years.
34:43You know, I don't go in there that much.
34:45Andrew and his husband Alfie.
34:47Well, I went in yesterday.
34:49Last time I'd been in was 2013.
34:51I think they were steam-driven then.
34:54Well, you're positively glowing.
34:56I know.
34:57Absolutely.
34:58Honey-bronzed and very desirable.
35:00LAUGHTER
35:01This week, it was a tense thriller set in the finance department
35:05that had us gripped on Prime Video.
35:08It's so nice for us to be able, in 2026, to sit down and watch a drama
35:14during these awful weeks of weather.
35:17Just think, 100 years ago, there would have been nothing to watch, and we would have been...
35:24Well, we'd have been handling on the ground with livestock, Mary.
35:29Animals.
35:31Which is what I'm still doing.
35:34Hmm.
35:35Stop going for my hula hoops.
35:37No.
35:38Those are yours.
35:40No, they're not.
35:41Those are joint.
35:42That's me.
35:45Oh, yeah, this is steel.
35:47Sophie Turner, isn't this?
35:48From Game of Thrones.
35:49Ooh, Sansa.
35:52Are we in London?
35:53We're going to London, aren't we, in April?
35:55Yeah, we are.
35:58Myrtle.
35:59Oh, I'm so sorry.
36:01Is this Myrtle's first date?
36:02Were you on Game of Thrones?
36:09Are these inspectors, do you think?
36:11Look at their faces on them.
36:13They're all storming into the office because Prat-a-Manger has run out of overnight oats.
36:21I don't like that ginger one.
36:23He's scary.
36:24They all look scary, don't they?
36:26It's like a crackhead McCookle.
36:27Have they all got prosthetics on?
36:29Because they all just look a little bit funky, don't they?
36:34Oh, what's that all about?
36:39Oh, wow.
36:40Guns, yeah?
36:41What are they doing?
36:42You're not allowed guns in a workplace.
36:44Everybody's listening here right fucking now!
36:47Oh, my fucking God.
36:48This is my worst nightmare, this.
36:50Up you heads!
36:52Ladies and gentlemen, if you do exactly what I say, when I say it, you won't get hurt.
36:56Right, well, what do we need to do? Tell me.
36:57I think if it were me, I'd pretend to be dead already.
37:00I'd just lie on the ground.
37:02If you don't hear what I say, when I say it, you will be shot.
37:05Sometimes I struggle to listen, so what if I heard it wrong? I'd be dead.
37:09I'd just follow what everyone else is doing.
37:11It wasn't long before it became clear what the baddies were after.
37:15This.
37:16It's got the details of six trades on it.
37:18Source accounts, destination accounts, sizes.
37:20What, so he's going to force him to make trades?
37:22Yeah.
37:23I want you to load them all up into the trading system.
37:27So, no, that won't work.
37:29It won't work? Why won't it work?
37:30I don't know.
37:31Just load up the trade.
37:33Oh, don't be clever about it.
37:34He knows what he's on about.
37:35This is over four billion pounds.
37:38Over four billion pounds?
37:40Okay.
37:40This is not a small heist.
37:43No.
37:44These are people's pensions.
37:45This is social workers, police, doctors.
37:48They're not bothered.
37:50Just do it.
37:51The guy's stood there with a gun.
37:52You horrible man.
37:54I'd like to punch you in the face and take your stupid mask off.
37:58Okay.
38:01That's all done.
38:02He's in!
38:03Okay, that should be with you in 24 to 48 hours.
38:06Trains have been sent to the custodian bank.
38:09Yeah, but they'll know that we'd never send money to those accounts before,
38:12so they're going to call and ask what's going on.
38:14Yeah, you'll be here to tell them.
38:15Yeah, I mean, somebody's going to flag this smell of rat in this.
38:25Oh, my dear.
38:26Someone answer it, please.
38:28Luke, answer it, please.
38:32What's he doing?
38:33Um, Lockmill Capital.
38:35How can I help?
38:36Good girl.
38:37Sorry, Zara?
38:38Zara, speaking.
38:40He knows her.
38:41Um, I just got the trade you guys sent through.
38:44I've never seen these accounts before.
38:46What's she going to say by the end, though?
38:48If they don't go through ASAP, I'm going to be in some serious shit,
38:52so if you could please just put them through
38:54as soon as you put the phone down, please.
38:57Yeah, Luke's going to have a bullet in his temple.
38:59I'll put them through today.
39:01Oh, my deez, wow.
39:02But will she live, or will she be shot dead now by that horrid man?
39:13Oh, my deez, what is he reaching for?
39:15What are you doing?
39:15Don't be a hero.
39:17Hey.
39:19Hey.
39:20Hey!
39:21Don't call me.
39:22Yeah.
39:23We can signal.
39:25Oh, my God.
39:26I'd ignore him, mate.
39:28I want a tissue.
39:29I'd say, shut up.
39:30Fuck off, fucking Superman.
39:40Who will see him?
39:41Who's going to see you?
39:48You call...
39:49Fingers.
39:51999.
39:52Oh, yeah, that's clever.
39:54Telephone.
39:5410-10-10.
39:56No, fucking 9-9-9, you silly bastard.
39:58Oh, I thought it was...
40:03I don't want him to be shot dead.
40:05He's quite good-looking.
40:09Oh!
40:10Oh, my God, a light.
40:13Oh, Jesus Christ.
40:15Nobody move!
40:18Who's going to pay for this mac?
40:21Oh!
40:22Get back to the window.
40:24And an ambulance.
40:26Ambulance.
40:29Money's been transferred.
40:30Block and leave now.
40:31Money's in.
40:32Oh, let's go.
40:37They've got away with it.
40:39The car, though.
40:41Oh, no, please don't kill anybody.
40:46I hate they got out.
40:48Just what I said.
40:49They want my home phones to leave.
40:51The man when the woman spoke to the head car.
40:53Oh, the relief.
40:55Someone must have told them.
40:56So you think it's one of us?
40:57Makes sense, right?
40:58I mean, how else could they do it?
41:00They did know it all, though, didn't they?
41:01Yeah, to be fair, yeah, they did.
41:02An inside job, but who is it?
41:04You need to figure out who the inside man was.
41:06Yeah, whoever turns up tomorrow in a Ferrari.
41:08Whoever turns up in a Ferrari tomorrow.
41:16Oh, no, surely not.
41:23Sarah.
41:25Oh.
41:26God, I've heard about nicking a pencil or a rubber from work,
41:29but fucking hell, not four billion.
41:30No.
41:31That is crazy.
41:31They've just got away with four billion pounds.
41:34I know, they'll be able to go for a five, guys.
41:36Well, they won't get any bloody checks.
41:42You know...
41:42Hey, Jenny, you know, with the weather,
41:44I mean, have you seen this bronc?
41:46Lee, please don't put that up in here.
41:47I'm not going to...
41:48Why?
41:48It's unlucky.
41:49It's unlucky, don't you?
41:50It changes colour.
41:52What, when it's raining?
41:53Yeah.
41:53Best friends Jenny and Lee.
41:56Oh, hang on a minute.
41:59Oh, hang on a minute.
42:02What are you doing?
42:03I'm getting wet.
42:03You just said, don't put it up in the house.
42:05Get off.
42:06Oh.
42:07Where is it going?
42:09Look at the colour.
42:11Hang on.
42:12How can I look at the colour?
42:13I'm getting pissing wet through.
42:15Ha, ha, ha.
42:17On Friday, ITV had something for the weekend for us.
42:22Ooh.
42:23Good day.
42:25That's monsoon-like, innit?
42:26I've been running around like an hobbit this morning.
42:28I've been to go and pick Ben's birthday cake up
42:31that I've had made,
42:32and then I've gone to get my eyelashes done.
42:34It's all gap.
42:35When are they finishing them off?
42:41Hello.
42:41Love is in the air.
42:42Oh, yeah.
42:43Yes, it is.
42:44Nice.
42:45Love is in the air.
42:46Hey, it's Valentine's Day tomorrow.
42:48I don't know what's got into that lately.
42:50Bottle of perfume for Valentine's Day.
42:52wants to take me out for a meal.
42:54Said I deserve a treat.
42:56What's he after?
42:57Baby number two.
42:58You wish.
42:59If you're planning a Valentine's night in tomorrow...
43:02Then you're sensible.
43:03Ha, ha, ha.
43:04Not being ripped off by a restaurant.
43:06Yeah, sat in a room full of balloons and roses.
43:08Then John Turow's back to help you cook a restaurant-quality meal at home.
43:12John Turow.
43:13I'm glad to see he's washed up on this morning, Nutty.
43:15Oh, he looks so pleased to be there, John T.
43:18Oh, it's got to be steak.
43:20I can just smell it.
43:21Oh, it's steak.
43:22Oh, yeah.
43:23Oh, yeah.
43:23Oh, yeah.
43:24So I'm just going to do this and then we'll talk about the steak
43:26and what we've done with it and how it works.
43:27So a nice hot pan.
43:29Yep.
43:29Always a hot pan.
43:30What we've got here is we've got a thick-cut sirloin
43:32which is now available in supermarkets.
43:34Yes.
43:34Oh, he's got a second steak here for dessert.
43:37For me, this is enough for two, actually three, maybe even four people.
43:41Four people?
43:42You're having a left!
43:44John has no right to be in a kitchen
43:45if he's going to be talking filthy like that.
43:47Like, that's going to do four people.
43:49So what we want to do is just take that steak
43:51and just cut into that there
43:53and you cut all the way in.
43:54How do you do that?
43:55I do that.
43:55That is news to me.
43:57This is what it was worth getting up for this morning.
43:59And what that does is that the fat that's there
44:01and that little bit of connective tissue shrinks
44:03but it means the meat doesn't shrink.
44:05Oh, you wouldn't want your meat shrinking, what?
44:07No.
44:09Oil the meat, never the pan.
44:11God, I'll have to take tool statins when I've eaten that.
44:14You want enough oil just for it to cook
44:17but you don't want too much oil
44:19that it's going to sort of braise in that.
44:21Yeah, oh, no.
44:23I like my meat oiled.
44:28Now, I sometimes put pepper on it.
44:30Pepper burns.
44:31Some people say the pepper burns.
44:33Look at you, Gordon Ramsay.
44:36I'm not just a pretty face.
44:37So you know what?
44:38I'm going to put a little pepper on it.
44:39Yeah, bring it on.
44:40And here we go, guys.
44:41Do your best at cracking me down.
44:43Shut the pepper on.
44:45John's up more animated these days, isn't it?
44:48I think Greg was holding him back.
44:50Turn it over and look at the colour of that already.
44:52Oh, my goodness.
44:53Oh, look at that.
44:55Look, it burns.
44:56Look, we've got to make Valentine's Day as easy as possible.
44:59Yeah, you want an easy life.
45:00You know what?
45:00That's so true.
45:01Yeah.
45:01We've got lovin' to do here.
45:03Do you know what I mean?
45:04Yeah.
45:04It's Valentine's Day.
45:05Into the oven we go.
45:06Going to give that...
45:06Too much lovin' after that.
45:08All right, damn it.
45:09You cook me a steak like that, you have all the lovin' you want.
45:11Oh, gosh.
45:12I like lovin' before the steak.
45:13Oh, he likes to shack before a meal.
45:15I must admit, I don't mean shack.
45:18Oh, I don't want to know.
45:19No.
45:19Oh, la, la.
45:20Fucking hell.
45:20I don't want to know what you're going to do.
45:22I just said, once I've eaten, all I want to do is sit and chill.
45:25We're going to add to that little bit of butter.
45:27Smells incredible.
45:28A little bit of rosemary.
45:29No, I ain't got time for putting the plants in it.
45:31No, not rosemary in it.
45:33I'm just going to pick that steak up and let it go underneath there.
45:35Oh, I like that.
45:37Yes.
45:38What are you doing there, John?
45:39Medium rare sort of thing?
45:40Medium rare, yeah.
45:41And it'll continue to cook.
45:42Yeah, it looks a bit crispy.
45:44Gosh.
45:45I think that steak...
45:46That steak is going to be like land of leather, isn't it, Mary?
45:49Yes.
45:50We've got chips.
45:51We've got dessert.
45:53Oh, it's good.
45:54In you go.
45:55Bit overdone for me, then.
45:57Yeah, I reckon that's cooked to buggery.
45:59Well overdone.
46:00I didn't realise I didn't know how to cook a steak, you know,
46:02put it in a frying pan with some butter.
46:04Flip it over.
46:05Flip it over.
46:06Flip it over.
46:07Your chips, right, just toss a load of cheese and, like, chillies in them
46:10and then just slap them in the oven.
46:12You know?
46:13Every day's a school day.
46:15Thanks, John.
46:16That is why you're not the host of Astroship.
46:19And neither is he anymore.
46:22Ha ha ha ha.