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  • 2 days ago
In this episode of “Common Courtesy,” the actress, singer, and comedian reflects on chronic name droppers, blocking people online, public FaceTiming, and why she will never sit in coach again. Sharp and unapologetic, Sandra reminds us that manners are as much about confidence as they are about courtesy.
Transcript
00:00Unacceptable.
00:01Rude.
00:02No.
00:04Have you ever done it?
00:05Mmm, maybe in a taxi.
00:08Hi, I'm Sandra Bernhardt,
00:10and this is Common Courtesy with Town & Country.
00:16Do I think I have good manners?
00:18I've learned them over the years.
00:21Do I like confrontation?
00:23Only when I know I'm gonna win.
00:26Chronic name droppers.
00:28Well, it's hard to like really call people out on that now
00:31because it's usually on social media.
00:33So I figure, why bother?
00:35You know, I just, everybody knows everybody these days.
00:39Do you like to name drop?
00:41No, I do not like to name drop.
00:44Me?
00:46Unsolicited fashion advice.
00:48I mean, I try not to give it,
00:50and I certainly don't like to get it.
00:53Occasionally, my daughter will tell me
00:54that she doesn't like something,
00:55and I'll listen to her, because why not?
00:58She's young and smart, and she's got good taste.
01:01She just might say,
01:03Mom, wear something tighter.
01:07Being called the wrong name by an A-lister.
01:11No, I don't bother to correct you. I don't care.
01:14Well, you know, I always get Sarah Bernhardt
01:17because of Sarah Bernhardt, who was, you know,
01:20the actress of the turn of the last century.
01:22Although I don't have a T on the end of my name,
01:24so I'm always like, I just let it ride. Who cares?
01:26And having the name Sandra,
01:28often people call me Saundra or Saundra,
01:30but now I just go by Sandy anyway,
01:32so I've alleviated all the potential unhappiness
01:37and discomfort.
01:39Asking a comedian to say something funny
01:43is akin to asking a surgeon to remove a spleen on the street.
01:49Strangers who overshare.
01:50Well, I get that all the time,
01:52because people know that I'm empathetic and open,
01:55and I don't mind it, because a lot of time,
01:57I think people just are right on the edge now more than ever.
02:00And if I can be a little, you know, helpful
02:03in smoothing their emotions,
02:05what's five minutes of my time?
02:08Worst-dressed lists.
02:10I've never been on a worst-dressed list,
02:12and that's, I'm really proud of that.
02:14Of course you talk about what people are wearing to award shows,
02:17but I do it in the comfort of my own home,
02:19and I'm certainly not going to be somebody to weigh in,
02:22you know, on social media. No. Mm-mm.
02:25But I don't think anybody cares anymore,
02:27because anything goes.
02:29Getting served the wrong meal.
02:31I mean, unless I'm on a plane
02:33and they don't bring me my kosher dinner,
02:35I won't say anything.
02:37How could somebody bring you the wrong meal?
02:39Do you send it back?
02:40Well, I mean, if I ordered, like, chicken piccata
02:43and they brought me a pork chop,
02:44I'd probably send it back, yeah.
02:47FaceTiming in public.
02:49Unacceptable.
02:50Rude.
02:51No.
02:52Have you ever done it?
02:55Mm, maybe in a taxi,
02:57but not, not like on the street as I'm walking.
03:00I try not to do that.
03:0199% of the time I'm not on my phone when I'm on the street,
03:05because you've really got to be on your game,
03:06especially in New York City.
03:08Blocking someone on social media.
03:10I do that occasionally when people start responding
03:13to what I believe politically,
03:15but I'm like, why are you following me?
03:17And why do you care?
03:17Why are you interacting with me?
03:19You can do whatever you want.
03:20I'm not going to interact with you,
03:22so occasionally I'll block.
03:24Usually I let it go,
03:25because then they just lose interest anyway.
03:27You never hear from them again.
03:30Getting a solo upgrade when traveling with someone,
03:33ooh, that's tough.
03:36It's happened a couple of times.
03:38You know, once in a while when you're traveling,
03:41you're exhausted and you want to lay in a flat,
03:43you know, chair, you're going to take it.
03:47I just pay for business class seats,
03:48because I can't.
03:49That was a promise I made to myself after COVID.
03:52I will never sit and coach again.
03:55It's the name of my next book.
03:57What's your biggest pet peeve on planes?
03:59Obviously when somebody's sitting next to you
04:00and they're obnoxious,
04:02or like watching a violent movie,
04:04and then of course you immediately start watching
04:06the movie with them,
04:07and you're like, why did you play this horrible movie?
04:11Spotting someone who clearly doesn't want to be seen.
04:14I mean, I don't think that happens very often for me,
04:17because usually if I see somebody,
04:19they want to see me and I want to see them.
04:21So I don't think that's applicable
04:22to anything I've experienced.
04:25Belated birthday messages.
04:27Sometimes it just happens.
04:28I mean, you know, I've had what I thought
04:31was the proper birthday date in my phone,
04:35and it turns out when I put it in,
04:37it was a day or two off,
04:38and it's like better a little belated than not at all.
04:41Is there somebody you always forget?
04:43Yeah, my friend Vicki Lowe over in the UK.
04:46I think I finally got her in the right date.
04:49It's in December.
04:51She's a Sagittarius and she's a doll,
04:53and I promise Vicki I'll never forget it again.
04:57Someone insisting they've met you before.
05:00That's a good one.
05:01Well, of course that happens with me a lot,
05:03because I might have met somebody and I don't remember,
05:07so I kind of go along with it.
05:08All the years I've been performing on the road,
05:10on a movie set, you know, on an airplane,
05:13I go, oh, God, yeah, it's so great to see you again.
05:15I just play along.
05:17I mean, what have I got to lose?
05:19Showing up in the same outfit as someone else.
05:22Well, that usually doesn't happen to me,
05:24but I've seen it for sure at a party or an award show,
05:29and you're like, oh, my God, that's so uncomfortable.
05:31But again, who cares?
05:33If you went to a store and you bought an outfit
05:35or somebody loaned it to you and then somebody else,
05:38that probably wouldn't happen at an award show
05:39because nobody would loan out the same thing.
05:42So it really hasn't happened to me,
05:44although I think when you're wearing jeans
05:46and, you know, a T-shirt,
05:48isn't that sort of a universal outfit that everybody wears?
05:51I mean, I guess we've all been in that situation at some point,
05:55but who really cares?
05:59You don't seem like you're afraid of confrontation.
06:01No, I'm not.
06:02You can't be a performer
06:04and been up in front of the various, you know,
06:08obnoxious people in the audience that I have
06:10and not be able to, like, hold your own.
06:14Nothing fazes me.
06:16Little does in the world we're living in.
06:19Thank you so much for watching
06:21and make sure you check out my fabulous cover
06:24of Town & Country.
06:36I'm not sure you're right.
06:38I'm a big fan the impression I have
06:39and I'm happy to check out my lovely connection.
06:39And I'll see you next time,
06:43Bye-bye.
06:44Bye-bye.
06:45Bye.
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