- 2 days ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:24Have you ever heard of anybody contesting a traffic fine and actually winning?
00:29No, but you came pretty close.
00:32Illegal parking fire hydrant.
00:34That's what it says, but it's not true.
00:36It never is.
00:37It's just great the way a person is pushed around on this...
00:42Legal assembly line?
00:43Thank you. This legal assembly line.
00:46I happen to be a victim of injustice.
00:48So am I, lady. I ain't had my coffee yet.
00:50It's just not fair. That car was a good...
00:54How far should you be from a hydrant?
00:56Twelve feet.
00:57A good twelve feet from that hydrant when some sneak just crowded in and pushed me.
01:02That's a crime.
01:03Lady, while I can still fight back the tears, will you pay the fine? It's twenty dollars.
01:08Twenty dollars?
01:10Boy, oh, boy.
01:12This is really an injustice. Do you know that?
01:14Why can't they just pay their fine nice and quiet?
01:17Don't look at me. I'm with that girl.
01:22To the dead.
01:26We're out.
01:27Ah!
02:27It's going to sound like a pickup.
02:28That's what it'll be.
02:29And you did, and it does, so it is.
02:31Bye.
02:31Wait, you really think I'm trying to pick you up, do you?
02:35Well, aren't you?
02:36Yes, but not the way you mean.
02:39How about the way my father means?
02:41Look, I heard you say you didn't have a car.
02:42Well, I do.
02:43A pure case of a have and a have not.
02:46It could only lead to bitterness.
02:48No, you don't understand.
02:49My license was suspended for 30 days.
02:51I can't get my car home.
02:53And you want me to drive it for you.
02:55Right.
02:56That's the new one.
02:57No, honor's suspended, see?
02:59And I was wondering if you live near 46th Street.
03:02Well, no, but I am having lunch near there.
03:04Good.
03:04We'll have a bite to eat, and then we'll go...
03:06Uh-huh.
03:06Bye.
03:07Oh, forget lunch.
03:08Be a good Samaritan.
03:09I'm stuck.
03:09I'm really stuck.
03:14Well, okay.
03:15Now, wait a minute.
03:16Is it automatic, because that's all I know how to drive?
03:18Totally automatic.
03:19Even the built-in bar.
03:21Bar?
03:22What kind of a car do you have?
03:24Rolls.
03:26Royce?
03:28You want me to drive a Rolls Royce?
03:30I mean, a Rolls Royce.
03:33I'd be afraid.
03:34It's just a car.
03:36Buckingham Palace is just a house.
03:38What if I scratch it?
03:40I'll buy a new one.
03:51Oh, I made it.
03:53Without a bit of damage.
03:54Are you kidding?
03:56I was so nervous, my knees are blackened a little from knocking together.
03:59Will you be more comfortable next time?
04:01No next time.
04:02Look, I really have to go.
04:03Thanks a lot for a nerve-wracking experience.
04:06Anne, it's only 11.30.
04:08You've got time for a drink.
04:09Uh-huh.
04:10And all we have to do is go up to your place.
04:11Is that it?
04:12Not even that far.
04:18I have heard of co-op apartments before, but not quite this cooperative.
04:23Edward spotted us from the terrace.
04:26Hello.
04:27Hello.
04:29How do you get away with using the elevator like this?
04:31We own the building.
04:33That'll do it.
04:35What?
04:36No cocktail music?
04:40Stereo.
04:40Now, what can I do to repay your kindness?
04:44Would you like a free apartment for a year or two?
04:46Look, if you really want to help, would you get me a cab?
04:50Edward, where's the best place to buy a cab in a hurry?
04:52Any special color?
04:54Oh, just anything with a meter.
04:56Yes.
04:58I am going to see you again.
05:00What for?
05:01You can afford a chauffeur.
05:03You're not as cute as you.
05:04No, I'm sorry.
05:05I don't think it'll work out.
05:07Why?
05:07I can't change a tiger.
05:22A taxi.
05:24Some economy.
05:29Hi, Don.
05:30Hi.
05:31I thought you were going to try and save money.
05:33I am.
05:34I didn't pay for the cab.
05:36Oh, you won a contest.
05:37You won't believe it.
05:38Try me.
05:39The rich boy paid for it.
05:41The rich boy?
05:41The rich boy who couldn't drive his rolls home.
05:45His license was suspended and I drove it for him.
05:48You drove it for him?
05:49Uh-huh.
05:50And then we had a drink in his elevator and he offered to buy me a taxi.
05:54Buy you a taxi?
05:56You don't believe it.
05:57It's entirely logical.
05:58Yes, I do.
05:58I do.
05:59You do?
06:00Yeah.
06:01Donald, how could you believe such a crazy story?
06:03Because you're not the kind of girl who would make up a story like that just to make a fellow
06:06jealous.
06:07Oh.
06:10Are you jealous?
06:12You think you'll see him again?
06:14No.
06:15Then I'm not jealous.
06:17Just hungry.
06:19Oh, hey, about dinner tonight.
06:21We haven't had lunch.
06:22No, no.
06:22No, I may be working late.
06:24Oh, that's no problem.
06:25Pick me up at the theater.
06:26You can watch from backstage.
06:27Oh, good.
06:28Good.
06:29Then I get to see that dumb play again.
06:31Dumb?
06:32Dumb.
06:32They should change the title from Too Many Artichokes to Too Many Nuts.
06:36It's a preponderance of artichokes.
06:39Oh, sorry.
06:40A preponderance of nuts.
06:42It's experimental theater.
06:44The author is striking out in new directions.
06:46Striking out?
06:47Well, I think he was hit by a pitch ball.
06:49I think he was hit by a pitch ball.
07:17Roses are red.
07:18Violets are blue.
07:19Surprise, surprise, I found you.
07:23How did you find me?
07:25Very simple.
07:26I called the traffic court.
07:28They had no right to give you information.
07:30When I told them I had only two days to live, they couldn't refuse.
07:34You lied.
07:36Brilliant.
07:37Now, are you ready for dinner?
07:39Well, you don't waste any time, do you?
07:41Oh, there's so little of it left.
07:42Will you stop that?
07:44Look, you've just got to go.
07:45I have to get ready.
07:46Oh, yes, the play tonight.
07:47How do you know about that?
07:49Some fellow called.
07:51Don, I think.
07:53You talked to Don?
07:54Mm-hmm.
07:55He said he'd be late for the show tonight,
07:57and I said that was all right because you'd probably be with me.
08:00You didn't.
08:01No, I didn't.
08:03I told him I was fixing the phone and I'd deliver the message.
08:06Now, am I going to see you tonight?
08:08Sure, if you buy a ticket.
08:11See you tonight.
08:12You'll see me, but I won't see you.
08:13Oh, we'll see who sees who.
08:16Anne?
08:17What?
08:18In my finger.
08:23Anne, would you believe it?
08:24We've got a sold-out house for this dog.
08:26Really?
08:28Well, gee, it's awfully quiet for a full house.
08:30Yes, the lull before the lull.
08:32Now, come on, Gus.
08:32This is a fine play.
08:34Rotten, but fine.
08:35Huh?
08:36Well, I mean, it's rotten, but it's fine because at least it's an attempt at something different.
08:40Yeah, mass theatrical suicide.
08:42A preponderance of artichokes.
08:45Now, stand by.
08:46Curtain.
08:51The artichokes are in bloom again.
08:53Oh, artichokes.
08:55What secrets lie hidden neath your leafy folds?
09:03I'll carry them with me now, as I'll carry them with me on my wedding day.
09:08Yes, I'll carry them in memory of my divorce.
09:15Hey, what's going on here?
09:17A play.
09:18Where's the audience?
09:20What happened to our sold-out house?
09:22It was sold out to me.
09:28To my favorite artichoke.
09:31What's going on here?
09:32He bought out the house.
09:34Are you some sort of a nut friend?
09:36No.
09:37I just wanted a nice, intimate evening with a young lady.
09:40Oh, well, then you wouldn't mind if we split.
09:42No, not at all.
09:43That's it, kids.
09:44Everybody go home.
09:48Alone at last.
09:50Mm-hmm.
09:51You, me, and a preponderance of artichokes.
09:54Why?
09:54Speak not.
09:56Speak not of who is an artichoke.
09:59You're not.
10:00Wrong.
10:01I am.
10:01All the parts.
10:02You paid for a performance, and you're going to get one.
10:06And as the demented husband walks off, the wife shouts out.
10:13Go, demented husband.
10:15Seek out the fertile fields and bring back the answer.
10:19It is harvest time.
10:21The wife bows her head and weeps into her artichoke.
10:26The curtain falls.
10:29I have a tune.
10:31Oh.
10:32The mother is in the kitchen.
10:34Hey, Ma.
10:36Ma.
10:37Hey, Ma, what's for breakfast?
10:40Artichokes.
10:44Artichokes, darling.
10:46We better save some for dinner, for tonight we may have our gentleman caller.
10:51Hurry off to the loft and bring your tired ma mess of fresh artichokes.
10:59Donald.
11:01Oh.
11:03Hi, Don.
11:05Ann, what's going on?
11:06Well, haven't you ever seen a one-woman performance before?
11:09Not for a one-man audience.
11:11Who's he?
11:11Well, he brought out the house tonight.
11:13You must be done.
11:13I'm Roddy Waxman.
11:15Nice to meet you.
11:15The fellow with the elevator.
11:17We sort of met on the phone.
11:19Now, I was the telephone repairman in Ann's apartment.
11:23Ann's apartment?
11:25Well, Donald, I wasn't there when he got there.
11:27And when I got there, he left right away.
11:29You see, Roddy's kind of a practical joker.
11:31Wait a minute.
11:32Wait a minute.
11:33Roddy Waxman of the Waxmans?
11:35Yep.
11:36Ann, you didn't tell me you met one of the Waxmans.
11:38I didn't know he was a the Waxman.
11:41Anyway, what's a Waxman?
11:43Much, nothing much.
11:44I mean, they just invest in about a half a dozen Broadway shows every season, that's all.
11:47That's not bad, Ann.
11:50Exactly what does that mean?
11:52I think it's fairly obvious.
11:54You think that I'd go out with him because his family's influential in the theater?
11:58Well, what's wrong with that?
12:01Oh, what a terrible thing to say.
12:04Yeah, he said it.
12:06I didn't.
12:06But he's only accusing me of it.
12:08You're expecting me to.
12:10I think you're both awful.
12:12Ann, look, could we settle this alone, please?
12:13Donald, that is the first sensible thing you've said.
12:16You and Mr. Waxman settle it.
12:18I'm going home.
12:20Alone.
12:24What do we do now?
12:26Oh, I don't know.
12:27Why don't you buy the theater?
12:38Miss Marie, compliments of Mr. Waxman.
12:46Judy!
12:47Judy, will you come get here?
12:51Well, thank you, thank you.
12:55Not an artichoke in sight.
12:56Bon Appetit, Bon Appetit, Bon Appetit.
12:58Wow.
12:59Lobster, oysters, pheasant, shrimp, stuffed cabbage.
13:03The stuffed grape leaves.
13:04No.
13:05No, I don't think we should keep it.
13:07Keep it.
13:07It's an international food festival.
13:10Oh, thank goodness.
13:11Liana's working tonight.
13:12My egg.
13:13My egg is burnt.
13:14Who needs an egg?
13:16Lobster, moon, pheasant, shrimp.
13:19Oh, everything.
13:21Beautiful.
13:22Beautiful.
13:26Hi.
13:27Oh, hi.
13:28We did have a dinner date, remember?
13:32Will these do?
13:34Oh, Donald.
13:35You are so sweet.
13:37You didn't have to do that.
13:38You didn't have to do that.
13:39We're loaded.
13:40Come here and look at all the stuff we got.
13:42Isn't that absolutely beautiful?
13:44Here, have a pheasant leg.
13:45Where did all that come from?
13:47Oh, Donald, I can explain it.
13:48I mean, it won't be easy, but I really can.
13:51I'm again.
13:54Hello?
13:56Oh, uh, hello.
13:57I'll bet that's him.
13:59Who?
14:00How should I know?
14:01Yes, it most certainly did arrive.
14:04It's really very generous of you.
14:06Well, I really don't know.
14:08Listen, could you call me another time?
14:11Okay, and thank you.
14:14Bye.
14:17Guess who that was?
14:19Roddy Waxman.
14:20Right.
14:21Yeah, and, uh, he provided all the goodies?
14:24Are you mad?
14:26Well, I don't like it.
14:27Try the rice.
14:28It's great.
14:38Anne.
14:39Anne, a nice girl does not accept expensive food from someone she hardly knows.
14:43Donald, he was just trying to be nice.
14:45It's no more than you did with your hamburgers.
14:46It's about $50 more.
14:49Now, look, I know when I'm outclassed.
14:52Me and my measly little hamburgers.
14:55Oh, Donald.
14:58I'm sure your little hamburgers are just as delicious as any of his stuff.
15:03Anne, he asked you for a date, didn't he?
15:05Yes.
15:06You gonna see him?
15:06Well, Donald, I don't know.
15:08Well, if you don't know, then you may as well see him.
15:10What does that mean?
15:11It means you'd know if you didn't want to see him.
15:13And since I don't, I do?
15:14Do what?
15:15Want to see him.
15:16Well, if you feel that way, then see him.
15:18I didn't say that.
15:19Well, you didn't say you didn't.
15:20Well, maybe I should.
15:24Maybe you should.
15:26I think I'd better just take my measly little hamburgers and go.
15:32They're not measly.
15:39Rotten, yes.
15:41Not measly.
15:44Do you have a nice time?
15:46Oh, yes.
15:46It was marvelous.
15:48The food was the best yet.
15:50What would you like to try tomorrow night?
15:51A producing salon.
15:54Look, Anne, I have tickets for the theater tomorrow night.
15:57Suppose we try a late supper at the Purple Peacock.
15:59Oh, Roddy, I really don't think so.
16:01Not tomorrow night.
16:02I'm a little tired.
16:03Oh, sure.
16:04We'll skip a night.
16:05It's been a hectic week.
16:06I could get to bed early myself.
16:08Oh, it's a shame to waste the tickets.
16:10I'll buy some more for the next night.
16:13Roddy, did you ever think of what you'd do if you didn't have a lot of money?
16:16What a ridiculous idea.
16:18Yeah, I guess it is.
16:21Well, good night, Roddy.
16:23Thank you for a really lovely evening.
16:25One of many.
16:27Good night, Roddy.
16:31Good night.
16:33Anne?
16:34Yes.
16:49Hi, you're home early tonight.
16:52Do you stand by the door waiting for me to come in?
16:56I'm just doing what your father told me, to keep an eye on you.
17:00Where did you eat?
17:01The Purple Peacock.
17:03Wow.
17:04How was the food?
17:06Oh, it was nice.
17:08Real nice.
17:09You know, for a girl who's supposed to be having the time of her life, you don't seem to be
17:13having much fun.
17:15Judy, do you know it's been five whole days since Don left you with his hamburger?
17:18Gee, maybe he got to main.
17:20I mean, he called and he said he'd been working overtime every night, but I don't believe that.
17:25Well, if he's the kind that gives up that easily, it's a good thing to know.
17:29You're full of philosophy.
17:30Well, you know what they say.
17:32Easy come, easy go.
17:34Is that what they say?
17:35That's what they say.
17:37Well, whoever they are, they don't know Donald.
17:41It's not so terribly late.
17:43Don could still.
17:44Yeah, come on, phone.
17:46Ring.
17:51Hello?
17:53Oh, Donald.
17:55I was just talking about you.
17:57To who?
17:58Oh, to me.
18:00I mean, I was just wondering why it's such a coincidence.
18:06Well, isn't it rather late to be calling?
18:08Well, I tried phoning a couple of times, but there wasn't any answer.
18:11I guess you were out with Son of Daddy Warbucks again.
18:14Why the call, Don?
18:16Well, I just wanted to let you know that Operation Overtime is finished and I'm ready.
18:22For what?
18:23What's the best restaurant you can think of?
18:26What?
18:27The best restaurant.
18:28What is it?
18:29Uh, the Purple Peacock.
18:30Good.
18:32What are you talking about?
18:33I'll tell you tomorrow night at the Purple Peacock over the richest food you ever ate.
18:40Now, is this or is this not class?
18:42Oh, it's class.
18:43It wasn't easy getting reservations.
18:45This is a very, very exclusive place.
18:47It looks it.
18:48François, mademoiselle Marie.
18:49Oh, good evening, Andre.
18:51You've been here before.
18:53Oh, well, most head waiters are called Andre.
18:55Yeah, and most customers are called mademoiselle Marie.
18:58You've been here plenty.
18:59Oh, Donald, I've never been here with you.
19:01I wanted this to be special.
19:02It is special.
19:04Uh, this way, please.
19:14Why didn't you tell me you've been here before?
19:16You didn't ask me that.
19:18You asked me what was the best restaurant I could think of.
19:20This is it.
19:22Well, I had a feeling this is the kind of place he's been taking you to.
19:26You now have a good basis for comparison.
19:28Donald, food is hardly a basis for comparison.
19:32Would you like to try cars?
19:33No.
19:35I just want you to see what I look like in the wonderful world of richness.
19:40Oh, Donald, you are you, and Roddy is...
19:44Roddy.
19:49Uh, what's he doing here?
19:51He practically lives here.
19:52Don, you can't afford a place like this.
19:55And, and on a one-shot basis, I can.
19:58I'm investing 35 bucks to play just one game in his ballpark.
20:02Compliments of Monsieur Waxman.
20:06Uh, well, uh, well, you, uh, you just tell Monsieur Waxman thank you very much,
20:10but I can pay for everything I order.
20:11So then I shall return the wine, Monsieur?
20:14Uh, oh, no, no, no, no, go ahead and open it.
20:16Looks like good wine, but I'm paying for it.
20:18Oh, it is, Monsieur.
20:20Marcel Lauberge, 1955.
20:23The year or the price?
20:25A boat.
20:27Good price for that year.
20:30I, uh, I think we'd better have a look at the menu.
20:45Why aren't your prices listed?
20:47Monsieur, our regular customers have never questioned our prices.
20:51Well, I just don't like to buy a pig and a poke.
20:54It is just as well.
20:55We do not serve it.
21:07How's the wine?
21:09Good.
21:10Very good.
21:11And, Donald, why don't we let Roddy pay for it?
21:13After all, he sent it over.
21:14And?
21:15And I don't want to hear about that.
21:17But 1955, a bottle.
21:19I don't want to hear about that either.
21:36Anne?
21:38Anne, there's something you should know.
21:40The prices on this menu in no way coincide with the money in this pocket.
21:44Don, that's all I meant to please.
21:45Is something wrong, Monsieur?
21:46Yes, yes, your prices.
21:48One gets what one pays for.
21:52Yeah, and one may get what one is asking for.
21:55May I please have the bill for the wine?
21:59And I said I wanted to play in his ballpark.
22:01I can't even make that boy.
22:05Let's go.
22:17Anne, what are you doing?
22:18Donald, it's 1955 a bottle.
22:27Donald, why don't we go someplace more suitable?
22:29You know any place that serves hot dogs at this hour?
22:31No, but we can find one.
22:33Anne, look, I should have known I couldn't compete with the boy millionaire.
22:36Donald, there's no competition.
22:38Oh, are you telling me?
22:39The only thing he doesn't have is dander.
22:41Does he?
22:43I don't know.
22:44See?
22:45Come on, I'll take you home.
22:47Wait a minute.
22:48Wait a minute, I forgot to leave a tip.
22:49It was rotten service.
22:51Yeah, it'll be a rotten tip.
22:52Wait a minute.
22:56Oh, thank you.
23:03Hello, Roddy.
23:04Something tells me Don has money problems.
23:06Oh, no, no.
23:07We just came in for a drink.
23:09Don loves to come in here for a drink.
23:11Not staying for dinner?
23:11No, he's got other plans for dinner.
23:14You see, he has a physical first thing in the morning and he can't have any rich foods after 9
23:20.20.
23:21Anne, tell me the truth.
23:24Wasn't there a contest between him and me tonight?
23:25Oh, no, no, no.
23:28Anne?
23:31Well, yeah, I guess it was.
23:34Sort of.
23:35How'd I make out?
23:37Oh, look, Roddy.
23:38You're awfully sweet, but you're not real.
23:41Yes, I am honest.
23:43It's really been nice dating you, but...
23:45Well, let me put it this way.
23:48You're at Disneyland.
23:50I mean, it's an awfully nice place to visit, but...
23:53I don't think I want to live there.
23:55You're sure?
23:58Positive.
24:03So long.
24:04Bye.
24:06What was that all about?
24:08Well, I guess you could say I just told Roddy I like root beer better than I like champagne.
24:15Oh.
24:16And, uh, you want to know something else?
24:19What?
24:21Dandruff.
24:32Would you please pass the, uh, Tomatoes Concentré?
24:36The what?
24:37The ketchup.
24:40You know, they can rave all they want about their fancy French food,
24:43but when it comes to plain good eating, there's just nothing in the world like a hot dog.
24:47Anne, you've made an excellent choice.
24:49And with me, you may live on it.
24:51Jack is a classic.
25:08So you could have a little bit of a hat, but...
25:09The ketchup, I'm gonna change your name.
25:09Whoa.
25:09You could have a little bit of a hat here.
25:09Oh, boy.
25:09Can't choose a little bit of a hat.
25:09What?
25:09Oh, boy.
25:09I can lose a little bit of an hat.
25:12So I think it's a little bit of a hat in my life.
25:12Yeah, I can do.
25:12And you're right.
25:13Oh, boy.
25:16Oh, boy.
25:19I'm so happy.
25:19You're right.
25:19You're right.
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