- 13 hours ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Tonight, on the Duke's
00:02Walks through the tall corn
00:04Down by the river
00:05It's showtime and hazard
00:08You can get it
00:10Ow! Hey boss!
00:12My boss's vanishing act
00:14Disappear!
00:15Ain't no trick
00:16We have your husband. You'll have to come up with one million dollars
00:22Look!
00:25Ah!
00:26Ah!
00:27Don't do it!
00:34Just a good old boy
00:38Never meaning no harm
00:42Beats all you've never saw
00:44Been in trouble with the law since the day they was born
00:49Straightening the curves
00:52Flatening the hills
00:56Someday the mountain might get them
00:58But the law never will
01:02Making their way
01:04The only way they know how
01:09That's just a little bit more
01:11Than the law will allow
01:14Just a good old boy
01:17Wouldn't change if they could
01:21Wouldn't change if they could
01:22Fighting the system like a true modern day Robin Hood
01:25Woo-hoo!
01:28All corn down by the river
01:31Her hair shone like gold
01:33In the hot morning sun
01:35In the hot
01:37In the hot
01:38In the hot
01:55It's getting ready
01:56Even old Roscoe
01:58And now ladies and gentlemen
01:59Let me present
02:02Colchino
02:02The great old
02:04The great old
02:09Alright ladies and gentlemen
02:11I appreciate that kind of applause
02:12Now for my first trick
02:15For my first trick
02:18That idiot
02:19For my first trick
02:21Is a card trick
02:22With my able assistant
02:24Flasho
02:25Now then
02:26Flasho
02:27Will you pick a card
02:29Any card
02:30And don't let me see it
02:32Don't let me see it
02:34Don't let me see it
02:35Alright put it back in the deck darling
02:37Don't let me see it
02:38Don't
02:40Don't
02:41Now then
02:41I will tell you
02:43Coltrino the great
02:44Will tell you the card
02:45That you choked
02:47Ta-da
02:48Ta-da
02:50Three of clubs
02:52Look
02:54Queen of spades
02:55Now while all these doings
02:57Was going on
02:58Over at the state pen
02:59Floyd Malone
03:00Was being released
03:01From prison today
03:02Three years after
03:03Boss Hogg
03:03Had squealed on him
03:04And put him there
03:05Thanks for the card Bubba
03:06You got that double crossing
03:08Rats set up
03:09Just like I promised
03:10I caged him
03:11And that hick town
03:12He lives in
03:13That hazard
03:14I know every move
03:15Jefferson Davis
03:16Hogg makes
03:17Good
03:18I've been living for the day
03:20I meet up with the fat man again
03:22Let's get going
03:31What's going on in here Roscoe?
03:34Boss listen here
03:35The name is not Roscoe
03:37It's the great Coltrino
03:38And this is Flasho
03:40And you interrupted my prestidigitation here
03:42Yeah well your name will be Muddo
03:44If you don't explain all this nonsense
03:46And how you cut this room so full of junk
03:48Oh
03:48And first let's turn off this infernal racket
03:52Was it a red one?
03:54Roscoe?
03:54I said explain this all nonsense
03:56What is it?
03:56Boss this is not nonsense
03:58What I am doing
03:59I am practicing my magic for Lulu's talent show
04:03Oh for this?
04:04Oh for this?
04:04Yes of course
04:05Listen I tell you this cost me an arm and a leg all this stuff
04:07I had to send away at a special catalogue place and get this stuff
04:11It did huh?
04:12Expensive
04:12Yeah well you know something?
04:13What?
04:13You've been took
04:14I took?
04:15Yeah because you'll never make no magician
04:17Oh Tiddly Tiddly
04:18You of little faith
04:20I will show you how good Coltrino is
04:23Yeah?
04:23You see this gigantic box here?
04:26I surely do
04:27I spent tremendous amounts of money to get this
04:30Yes this this trick is so good and so magic that it can make a human being disappear
04:37Even you
04:38What?
04:39Yes
04:40Look at this
04:41Oh
04:42Isn't that pretty?
04:43Holy hammer
04:43Alright
04:45Alright boss
04:46Now I want you to step into that box and I'm gonna make you disappear
04:50Poof
04:51Oh no no no no no
04:52Uh uh uh uh uh
04:53I ain't stepping in a new box
04:55Let's see here
04:57Making a plump person disappear
05:00She fat
05:00And listen
05:01You ain't gonna practice no more magic on county time
05:04What?
05:04No sir revolving
05:05I want you to get out on patrol and bring in some moolong
05:09And take off this you stupid king
05:13How you doing over there?
05:14You got it?
05:15Yeah
05:15I think we're doing alright
05:16What I figured I'd do is when we got to the chorus part
05:18You know like a fox
05:19Is that uh
05:20That's where it's in C
05:21Show me where you mean
05:22It's uh
05:23Like a fox
05:24Nice
05:25Great
05:26I busted a dang string
05:27Oh gosh
05:28We were just getting it too
05:30I ain't got no more strings
05:31You?
05:31You put on my last set
05:33Why don't you go into town and get some?
05:35I need to breathe there anyway
05:36I think I'm getting overventilated
05:40How about if we have some hot apple pie and coffee Uncle Jesse?
05:42Ah
05:43Hey that sounds like a good idea
05:44Why don't I stay here with Uncle Jesse and Daisy
05:46You go into town and
05:47Get some
05:49Bye
05:49See ya
05:50Alright, alright
05:52You can drive into town
05:53How about that?
05:54During all this
05:55Them two mean looking brothers
05:56Were speeding closer and closer to Hazard
05:58And Boss Hogg
05:59Their target
06:00How some ever
06:01As fate and Bo's busted guitar string
06:03Were having
06:04They was coming to the same intersection as Bo and Luke
06:06Hey
06:07Hell
06:12What the heck was that all about?
06:18Did you get your license in a box of cereal or what?
06:21You trying to kill us all?
06:22Hey hold on a minute
06:23Uh friend
06:24My cousin here is talking to your pal
06:26Now you know you're supposed to come to complete stop when you come to main road
06:29We do have vehicular laws around here
06:32Well we do
06:34Yeah
06:34Why don't you two fellas just get back in your car
06:38While you can still walk that far
06:42And we'll forget the whole thing
06:45Boy it sure takes a big man to talk that way with his goon hanging around
06:59Yeah
06:59Yeah
07:00He is a big man
07:03Yeah
07:04Now why don't you boys just get back in your car
07:09Well we can still walk that far
07:11And we'll forget this whole thing
07:14Good idea
07:16Yeah
07:24Well you stick your foot in at that time
07:27Well fine you started it
07:29I did not
07:30Takes a big man
07:32Ha
07:34He was a big man wasn't he?
07:35They both are
07:36I don't know what they're doing here
07:38Well I don't know
07:39Don't worry about it
07:40It ain't got nothing to do with us
07:41Now anybody who's ever been around hazard knows better than that
07:49All I want to know is when do I put the hit on hogs?
07:52Well according to my schedule he leaves his office and crosses to the coffee shop at 10 a.m. sharp
07:58We got three minutes
07:59Boss was breaking for old faithful
08:01His stomach
08:02Which needs feeding about every two hours
08:09Well there's old boss hogs
08:11Well there's old boss hogs right on schedule
08:12Fatter than ever
08:14Black box, black box, black box
08:18Here we go
08:20Bye Mr. Hog
08:23Over there
08:24What the heck are they doing here?
08:25They're heading right for boss
08:27What the heck are they doing here?
08:31Well one thing's sure, old boss ain't hard to spot
08:40Hey boss!
08:49Hey, hey, hey, hey, no thanks to you dudes
08:52You're welcome
08:53Let's go, Mo
08:54Listen, how dare you
08:56Thank you man, you can't do nothing to that
09:12Hey?
09:13Yeah
09:14What are we gonna do if we catch it?
09:16Burn that ridge when we get to it
09:18Just get after it
09:19Alright, we'll cut cross country
09:27Well, hang on
09:32Yee-haw!
09:34Yee-haw!
09:36Oh, we're great
09:37I was wondering how many of those the suspension was gonna take
09:40Well, we sure ain't gonna catch them now
09:42Hey, you think maybe they just didn't see boss standing there in the street?
09:46A fat man in a white suit reading a financial page?
09:49Look, I got their license number
09:51We'll let Enos and Roscoe do their jobs
09:53We got guitar strings and shocks to worry about
09:55Try and miss a couple of these bumps, will ya?
10:00We're heading back
10:01I said no, Floyd
10:03Now they spotted this car
10:04We're gonna have to dump it and swipe another one
10:08But we'll be back
10:09And if those two farm boys butt in again
10:12They're gonna get the same thing Hog's gonna get
10:22The boys have picked up some guitar strings and some new shocks
10:26The shocks is for the car
10:27And the Duke family singers were back rehearsing
10:30We got it
10:30Now let's take it from the top
10:32Here we go
10:32All right
10:33Ready?
10:33One, two
10:37Oh, my
10:38I get it
10:38Great
10:39I gotta get that chorus down
10:40We ain't never gonna get through the dang song
10:42I know
10:44Hello
10:44Hello
10:45Enos
10:45Yeah
10:49You're kidding
10:51All right
10:51Much obliged
10:56Enos ran a make on those plates
10:57He says the car was stolen
10:58Oh, well, that figures
10:59That means them two big fellas are really up to no good, don't it?
11:02Sure does
11:03I wonder what they got against boss
11:06Well, it could be most anything
11:07Everybody's got something against him
11:09Now look, we got a show to do and a lot of rough spots to work out
11:12Got one adjustment to make
11:15Good idea
11:16Good idea
11:17Okay
11:18Here we go
11:19You ready now?
11:20Oh, one, two
11:25At the boar's nest, Lulu was getting ready for the charity show next day
11:29You know that we've got a lot of other things to do today, honey
11:31Oh, my, isn't that the prettiest thing?
11:34Oh, I love those colors
11:36Don't you?
11:37While boss was up to his round belly
11:39And closing a big real estate deal of unloading 200 acres of prime swamp
11:43Make it at 1 p.m.
11:45No, well, you couldn't try a little early or a little later then
11:48Because I...
11:50Only 1 p.m.
11:52Well, all right, all right
11:53I'll see you then
11:55Oh, for the sakes alive
11:57Well, he can keep all them alligators he can find too
12:08Oh, 250,000
12:10Mm-mm-mm
12:12Let's see
12:12I'll have a profit then
12:14Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
12:15Goodness sakes alive
12:17Oh
12:17Would you just stop sneaking up on me like that?
12:20And I tell you what
12:21Take off that stupid dunce cap
12:23But, boss, it's not a dunce cap
12:24No? Then how come the dunce is wearing it?
12:26No, no, listen
12:26I come in here
12:28To bestow a great honor upon you
12:31Oh, you're gonna learn how to drive?
12:32No, no, listen
12:33It's even better than that
12:34Oh yeah?
12:34Listen, I am going to make you my assistant in my magic act
12:38Your assistant?
12:40Uh-uh, uh-uh, no, no, no, no, not on your life.
12:42And would you stop with all that magic business?
12:44I mean, I only just now got them pigeon feathers of yours cleaned out of my underwear.
12:48Well, that's not going to happen again.
12:49Listen, I've been practicing.
12:51Listen, boss, I've got a finale that'll knock your socks in the dirt.
12:55What?
12:55Listen to this.
12:56What do you think of this?
12:57I am going to make every little fat carpuscle in your flabby little body disappear.
13:03No, no, you ain't.
13:04Not me.
13:05Oh, no, sirree, Bob.
13:06I got it.
13:07Why don't you use Lulu?
13:08Yeah, you make her disappear.
13:10That'd be a trick we could all applaud.
13:12I heard that, Jefferson.
13:14Oh, oh, oh, cream puff.
13:16Don't you cream puff me.
13:17Now, I warned you that you have got to be in this show.
13:20Now, you assist my baby brother or else.
13:22Yeah, but, Sponge Cake, I got a coach who made a big business deal tomorrow at 1 p.m.,
13:26that same time as the show, and I sure can't be in two places at 1 p.m.
13:29Well, that's right.
13:30So you're going to be here and forget the business deal.
13:33Well.
13:34Or I will disappear.
13:35Oh, you will?
13:36From your kitchen.
13:38Who?
13:38Permanently.
13:40I'll never cook you another morsel of food.
13:44Never?
13:46Never.
13:50Listen, boss.
13:51Listen.
13:51What?
13:52I got good news for you.
13:53Yes.
13:54See, I got this catalog from the magic department.
13:58Oh, you're back to that again?
13:59Yes.
13:59And you get to look at the costume that my assistant gets to wear.
14:03Take a look.
14:04Take a look.
14:05No!
14:05Oh, no, no, no.
14:08Oh, never, never, never.
14:10No, no, no.
14:11Absolutely.
14:13Positively.
14:13Definitely.
14:14No.
14:15J.D.
14:18No.
14:19J.D.
14:27Keep your tutu fluffed.
14:29You'll look beautiful.
14:30Take a look.
14:34Oh, no.
14:36No, no, no.
14:37Absolutely.
14:38Positively.
14:39Definitely.
14:40No.
14:41Listen, I'll see you.
14:42You're backblastin' assistant.
14:44But I sure am gonna do it in my own clothes.
14:46And.
14:47Hey!
14:48Hmm!
14:49Hmm!
14:49Hmm!
14:50What a good one.
14:51What?
14:51Now, old boss had to get out of the talent show to close his real estate scam.
14:55So, at the boar's nest that night.
14:59Yeah.
15:00There it is.
15:02It's tough here.
15:07Oh!
15:10Oh!
15:11Old boss opened up the trap door to the root cellar, which was the old escape route from
15:15boss's moonshine days.
15:16Yeah, a long way down, but good.
15:19All right.
15:30Yeah.
15:31All right, now, just move this magic bones across and goes back over that trap door.
15:39Yeah.
15:40You know, I figured that tomorrow's talent show was gonna have some surprises for everybody.
15:47Yeah.
16:04All right, now, I'm just in love.
16:12Yeah.
16:13Okay, let's do it.
16:14I'll see you now.
16:16Oh my goodness.
16:16We'll just find some place to hide until we can get a shot at old Bob's Hall.
16:22That haystack looks like a pretty good place. What do you think?
16:26We gone.
16:36Hey.
16:37I want to thank all you wonderful people for coming.
16:40And of course all the talented folks of Hazard who are donating their services to this very worthy cause.
16:45Now I won't keep you waiting any longer.
16:47Here to open the show are your friends and mine.
16:51The Duke Family Singers.
16:57She walks through the tall corn down by the river.
17:02Her hair shone like gold in the hot morning sun.
17:06In the hot.
17:08In the hot.
17:09In the hot morning sun.
17:15And she took all the love that a poor boy could give her.
17:19And left him to die like a fox on the run.
17:24Like a fox.
17:25Like a fox.
17:26Like a fox on the run.
17:29Oh, Mr. Terwilliger, that's you?
17:31What's wrong?
17:32Oh, nothing.
17:33You're just in my office.
17:34Well, didn't you get there a little bit early?
17:36I mean, oh, yeah, you are early.
17:39Well, all right.
17:40I'll be there.
17:41Just make yourself comfy.
17:43Oh, listen, you did bring the $250,000 with you, didn't you?
17:46Oh, good.
17:48You brought Mrs. Terwilliger too.
17:50Well, make yourselves at home.
17:51I'll be right there.
17:57Roscoe, hurry up.
17:58We're on next.
17:59Come on.
18:00You cannot rush perfection.
18:03Show business is my life.
18:06Please.
18:07Hurry, hurry.
18:08Like a fox.
18:09Like a fox.
18:11Like a fox.
18:13On the run.
18:15Like a fox.
18:16Like a fox.
18:17Like a fox.
18:19On the run.
18:29All right.
18:30Yeah.
18:35Isn't it marvelous?
18:40And now for our next magnificent act,
18:44I am proud to introduce one of my favorite people,
18:47my baby brother,
18:48otherwise known as Coltrano the Great.
18:51All right.
18:52All right.
18:53All right.
18:53All right.
18:55All right.
19:02All right.
19:03Thank you, all.
19:05Good evening and all.
19:05Thank you, Kybie.
19:06Yes, sir.
19:08My name is Coltrano the Great.
19:10And I would like now to introduce my able assistant,
19:14J.D. Hoggle the Round.
19:16All right.
19:18Bye.
19:18Bye.
19:18Bye.
19:19Bye.
19:20Bye.
19:21Step out, you'll hug old.
19:25Come on.
19:25Come on.
19:26Let's get it over with.
19:27Don't rush.
19:28Oh.
19:29What do I see here?
19:31Huh?
19:31Is this what?
19:32What is this?
19:33No, stop that.
19:34What is this?
19:34Don't tickle me.
19:35Is that your red underwear?
19:36Uh-oh.
19:36Oh, that's yellow.
19:37No, blue.
19:38Oh, yeah.
19:39Oh, yeah.
19:40Oh, yeah.
19:43Oh, yeah.
19:44Oh, yeah.
19:44Oh, yeah.
19:45Oh, yeah.
19:46Oh, yeah.
19:46Oh, yeah.
19:57That guy sure got the bottom of things in a hurry, didn't he?
19:59Now, for my next predigitation, I would like to make this live human being, this portly gentleman, disappear before your
20:08eyes.
20:09Wait a minute.
20:09Did you forget something?
20:10What?
20:10You know, you know, you know.
20:12Da-da-da-da.
20:13What do you mean?
20:13Oh, for goodness sake, these.
20:15Oh, for goodness sake, there's itching me under the armpit by now.
20:17Listen, I'm looking.
20:19Now, I will make him disappear.
20:20If you will open the curtain, please.
20:22All right.
20:23You'll notice the magic box.
20:26This is great.
20:27Okay, portly gentlemen, if you'll be so kind as to enter the magic box.
20:33Then I will.
20:34Here.
20:35Step right in there.
20:36You'll notice.
20:38Very good.
20:40All right.
20:41All right.
20:42Hog of the round has done his part.
20:44Time for me to go.
20:46Of course, what nobody knows is, boss really is going to disappear.
20:49Down the trap door to the root cellar.
20:51And off to his meeting in town.
20:53Leaving old Roscoe with grits on his face.
20:55It's a concentration for me to do this.
20:57Okay?
20:58I'm beginning to get the vibrations now.
21:00Listen, if this works, we ought to try to borrow that box when the mortgage comes due.
21:09Hey.
21:10I ain't got much time.
21:12All right.
21:14Here.
21:21Hello, Floyd.
21:23Hello, hog.
21:26Bubba.
21:28Hog.
21:29Sure is nice when old friends meet, ain't it?
21:38Abracadabra!
21:39Abracazoo!
21:42Abracazeer!
21:42Make my little chubby buddy disappear!
21:47Er, he did it!
21:59He did it.
22:01He's better than I thought he would.
22:03He did disappear, didn't he?
22:18Now, let's see.
22:19Mr. Terwilliger is waiting on boss.
22:21Roscoe and the audience is waiting on boss.
22:23And Floyd and Bubba, well, they're kind of waiting on boss, too.
22:26I tell you, boss hog has a talent for being the center of attention, don't he?
22:38Now, for the peace of the resistance, this is the best part.
22:42This is when I will make my little buddy reappear.
22:46Alakazam, alakazoo, alakazir, make my little chubby buddy reappear!
22:55And there he is!
23:04I think, see, I reversed the word, so you can't do that, you see.
23:08But I just did that for a joke.
23:11All right, alakazam, alakazir, alakazoo.
23:19Hey, boss, quit horsing around now.
23:28Listen, it's not funny anymore.
23:31You know, old Roscoe's sure as milk in this gag.
23:33Psst, Roscoe, get on with your act, buddy.
23:37I'm trying to.
23:39The little rascal won't come out of there.
23:41It's just part of the act, isn't it?
23:43Looks to me like Roscoe's a little shook up.
23:46Something ain't right, bud.
23:48He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he.
23:51Psst, close a curtain.
23:53I just just, one more.
23:54Gene, wake up and close a curtain.
24:00Oh, my goodness.
24:01Oh, let's hear from Greg Coltrano.
24:06Oh, my goodness.
24:07Greg Coltrano wasn't so great, was he?
24:10And now it is my pleasure to bring you Eugene Jackson
24:13playing Camptown Races.
24:15Yeah, all right.
24:16Yeah, yeah.
24:22Well, I think we ought to check it out.
24:25Would you hold this for a second?
24:26Yeah.
24:29Listen, you're making me mad now.
24:32You little sucker.
24:33Get out of here.
24:34Hey, no, listen, boss.
24:36Roscoe.
24:38What happened, boss?
24:39Give you the slip?
24:40Oh, are you kidding?
24:41He didn't give me the slip.
24:42Didn't you see it from out front?
24:43I said my alakazams, alakazoos, and alakazeers,
24:46and he disappeared and poof like that.
24:48Yeah, it worked great, too.
24:49How's this box work?
24:50Get your hand off that, Roscoe.
24:51Get your hand off of that.
24:52That's a magician's trick there.
24:53Sorry.
24:54All right.
24:55You know, I did something wrong, though.
24:56Must be in that book of instructions.
24:59I'll just check that sucker out.
25:02I don't know why boss gave him such a hard time.
25:04I don't know.
25:06How do you think this thing works?
25:07Boss, you in there?
25:09There you go.
25:10Okay.
25:10Here, help me slide this over.
25:12All right.
25:16There you go.
25:17Look at that.
25:19Huh.
25:20Where do you suppose it goes?
25:22Bye-bye!
25:23Any way to find out?
25:24After you.
25:26And now, it is my pleasure to bring you our very own Enos Strait,
25:30doing his favorite number.
25:37Hey, boss.
25:38Boss?
25:40Where are you?
25:41Roscoe's in the state.
25:46Well, his car's still here.
25:47He sure ain't nowhere to be seen, though.
25:50Hey.
25:51Take a look at this.
25:52What do you got?
25:54It's a white button,
25:55just like the one boss has got on his jacket.
25:56It looks like somebody's dragged off here.
25:59And there go car tracks.
26:01Luke, you think he's just kind of messing around with Roscoe?
26:05I don't think so, Bo.
26:07Remember them two big ones we ran into yesterday?
26:09Yeah.
26:10Makes you think of them.
26:11Who do you know around here
26:13that would leave a footprint like that?
26:17I think they really got it in for him.
26:19We better go talk to Roscoe.
26:24Let's look for a nice, quiet, high place.
26:31Where the old folks play.
26:37The boys told Roscoe what they had found
26:40and what they was thinking.
26:41But the great Coltrano wasn't listening.
26:44Uh-huh.
26:45See, I figured it out.
26:46You little rascal, he's in there and he won't come out.
26:49I'll go in and get him.
26:52He's finally slipped off to deep end, Bo, right?
26:54Hush up!
26:55There's a show going on in here.
26:56Now, what in the world is the matter?
26:58Miss Lulu, we got a problem.
27:00It looks like Boss really did disappear.
27:02We can't find him anywhere.
27:03Oh, he didn't disappear.
27:06He probably just drove into town to his office.
27:08He said he had a business appointment.
27:10Hey, I bet that's what he did.
27:11That must be exactly what he did.
27:13Well, his car's outside.
27:14Oh, yeah.
27:15Now, Lulu, I don't know how to tell you,
27:17but it looks like he's been kidnapped.
27:20Bad news, bad news.
27:21That little suck.
27:22What? Shut up.
27:23Now, what makes you think he's in trouble?
27:26Well, we followed this trap door outside, see,
27:28and there were some tracks that looked like a scuffle, and...
27:30We found this button, which came off of his jacket.
27:32And we seen some car tracks leading off.
27:35Oh.
27:38I've got to stop the show.
27:41Enos.
27:42Enos, honey, I'm sorry.
27:43We have to stop.
27:44Ladies and gentlemen, folks,
27:46I am terribly sorry, but the show is over.
27:49Something terrible has happened.
27:51Please forgive me.
27:52What happened?
27:53I don't know why they did it.
27:55I don't know why they did it.
27:56What's going on?
27:57Oh, chef, that was a real good trick you did, huh?
27:59Will you hush, you dipstick here?
28:01I'm in trouble here.
28:03You know what I'm going to do?
28:04I'm going to call that mail-order company that sold me this magic book,
28:08and I'm going to give them a piece of my mind.
28:10And you know they got a money-back guarantee.
28:12Maybe they got a buddy-back guarantee.
28:14Oh, yes.
28:15Oh, yes.
28:16Give them a small piece.
28:18He thinks he really did it.
28:19I guess he does.
28:21Well, we ain't got time to convince them otherwise.
28:22Listen to Enos here on Next Best Bet.
28:24Bo and Luke described them two fellers to Enos and Cooter
28:26and put them on the lookout,
28:27and they headed out to trace the tracks outside the boar's nest.
28:57This looks like as good a place as any.
28:59Yeah.
29:01Hold it there, brother.
29:03Let's hear what the fat man has to say, huh?
29:07Oh, don't shoot.
29:08Don't shoot.
29:09Don't shoot.
29:09Listen, Floyd.
29:10I never meant to testify against your honesty.
29:12They made me do it.
29:14See, they made me.
29:14That's a laugh, hog.
29:15You were just trying to save your own hide,
29:17and now you're going to pay for it.
29:18No, no, no, no.
29:19Listen, Enos.
29:19Don't do it.
29:20Don't do it.
29:20I'm a rich man.
29:21I'll give you money.
29:22That's right.
29:22Anything you want.
29:23You name it.
29:23I'll give it to you.
29:24Anything, anything, anything, anything.
29:26This rat just can't stop squealing.
29:28You ain't going to get away with it, hog.
29:29You double-crossing, low-down, no good time.
29:32Hold it, brother.
29:32Hold it.
29:33The man's got a point, little brother.
29:35Why not make him really pay for those years you spent in the slammer?
29:40And cold cash.
29:41Yeah, you're right.
29:42You're right.
29:42You're right, cash.
29:43That's it.
29:43He's right.
29:44He's right.
29:44Look, I got $300 in my wallet right now.
29:46We was thinking in terms of a million dollars.
29:49It's a million.
29:51Suddenly, I'm getting interested.
29:53Forget it.
29:54Oh, I ain't got a million dollars.
29:57Listen, I've had a bad year.
29:58Maybe I could squeeze out 750.
30:01Oh, maybe, maybe, maybe scrape up 800 or something.
30:05I ain't got a million.
30:05All we have to do is call his wife and demand $1 million ransom if she ever wants to see
30:10her little fat husband.
30:12My wife, my wife, but she, she won't be able to do it.
30:15She ain't got a million dollars either.
30:17She can't do it.
30:18She ever got a million.
30:22Oh, and Luke wasn't having much luck tracking them tire treads that they found out back.
30:31This is Deputy Enid Strait calling the Duke boys.
30:33Come here, hold on.
30:35Come in, boy and Luke.
30:37Enid Strait calling the Duke boys.
30:39Come in, boy and Luke.
30:40Yeah, we read you, Enid.
30:42I ran a make on them two fellas like you asked me to, and the description fits the Malone
30:46brothers.
30:47Mr. Hobb testified against a younger one, Floyd, in a hijacking trial three years ago, and he
30:53just got out of prison.
30:55Oh, yeah, he's got a brother named Bubba, and he's got a record, too.
30:59They're a couple of bad customers, y'all.
31:01Pay dirt.
31:01That's our lead.
31:03Listen, Enid, why don't you get together a search party and start checking out all the
31:07roads?
31:07Me and Bull drop by Boss's house, make sure Lulu's okay, and then we'll come find you.
31:1110-4, Luke.
31:12I'm gone now.
31:13Thanks a lot.
31:14All right.
31:26Oh, here come on, look.
31:28Oh, is J.D. with him?
31:30Daisy, is he?
31:31Oh, boys, did you find J.D.?
31:34Did you find him?
31:34Uh, well, no, Miss Lulu, we didn't, but we got a pretty good idea where to look next.
31:40Oh, see, that's him.
31:41It was just a prank.
31:42That's my pumpkin.
31:43Hello, Jefferson.
31:45This isn't Jefferson.
31:46Oh.
31:47If you want to see him again, listen carefully.
31:51You still there, Mrs. Hall?
31:53Yes.
31:54We have your husband, and if you want him back, you'll have to come up with one million dollars
31:59in cash.
32:00Well, I want him back.
32:01I'll do anything you ask.
32:03Now, that's a smart lady.
32:05First, you go to the bank and get that million dollars in unmarked bills.
32:09Then you bring it to the old River Road crossroads.
32:13You drop it out of the car and keep moving.
32:16No tricks and no tail.
32:18Otherwise, your husband's a goner.
32:22I'm too nervous to drive.
32:24Well, have someone drive you.
32:26But listen, if I see one cop, one tail, you're a widow.
32:32You got one hour.
32:34One hour ain't much, but in hazard, it ain't only not over till it's over.
32:39It ain't over till the Dukes has had their shot.
32:45An hour don't give us much time, that's for sure.
32:47No, and Roscoe ain't gonna be any help.
32:48I guess it's up to us.
32:49I don't want anything to happen to Jefferson.
32:52Now, I want to pay that ransom.
32:54I will get it from the bank.
32:55Just calm down, Lulu.
32:57Uncle Jesse and Daisy go with you.
32:59All right, I'll go get my things.
33:00Okay.
33:01Oh, I'll get you.
33:03I'll get you, pumpkin.
33:04I'll save you.
33:05I don't want anything to happen to J.D.
33:08Well, there's got to be some way we can go along on that money drop.
33:12Yeah, but how are you going to do it without them seeing you?
33:14That's what we've got to figure out.
33:17Daisy, Jesse, come on.
33:19Boys, we don't have any time to lose.
33:21Please hurry.
33:23Listen, you boys get a hold of Roscoe.
33:25Tell him what's going on.
33:27After all, he's still the ship.
33:28Yes, sir.
33:30You know, maybe after we tell him that boss has been kidnapped,
33:32he won't think he made him disappear no more.
33:34Well, I hope he's some good to us.
33:35I got a feeling he ain't going to get boss back.
33:45Now, old great spirits hear my plea
33:49and bring my little fat buddy back to me.
34:07Roscoe, excuse us.
34:09We just got to talk to you.
34:09What are you dukes doing here?
34:11You're interrupting the great Coltrino.
34:13Well, we're sorry about that, Coltrino,
34:16but it's real important.
34:17It's about boss.
34:18Will you hush?
34:19Listen, if you're interfering with me,
34:21you're going to break the spell.
34:22Now, I got him lost somewhere.
34:26Roscoe, what are you doing to yourself?
34:27You look terrible.
34:29Never mind.
34:31Never mind how I look.
34:33The great Coltrino,
34:34I bought a new incantation
34:36and they promised me that I'd get him back.
34:38And that's exactly what I'm going to do.
34:39Now, get out of here.
34:41All right.
34:42Okay.
34:55If you can't see it,
34:57you don't necessarily know that it's there, right?
35:01Yeah, what's that all about?
35:03Here, I'll explain it to you later.
35:04We're going to need to see this stuff here.
35:07Let's get out of here.
35:08Take control.
35:15Now, during all this,
35:16Floyd and Bubba had found an old shack
35:18to stash boss in
35:19while they was picking up the ransom money.
35:34Well, I better head on back out
35:36to the pickup spot.
35:39And Floyd,
35:41don't do anything to him, huh?
35:43Until I get back with the money.
35:46For a million bucks, I can wait.
35:48Okay.
35:50Shut up, honk.
35:51I heard enough out of you three years ago.
35:54Meanwhile, Lulu had come back
35:56with a million dollar ransom.
35:57Bo had done some special work on Boss's car
35:59and Luke had told everyone
36:01how his plan was going to work.
36:03But do you think it'll work?
36:05Lulu, I can't think of nothing better.
36:07I got the car all rigged.
36:08It's the only way we can make sure
36:09we get him back.
36:10Well, if it don't work,
36:11I know they're just going to kill
36:12my little pumpkin for sure.
36:14Miss Lulu,
36:15we got no way of knowing
36:17that they're not going to do that anyway.
36:19You willing to take that chance?
36:24Let's go.
36:25We don't have much time at least.
36:27All right.
36:29Everybody's set on what we're doing here.
36:31Daisy, you're going to be our backup?
36:32Yeah, I'll give you a two-minute head start.
36:34All right.
36:34Make sure nobody sees you.
36:36Let's go.
36:36Come on.
36:36All right.
37:12Now, this is as close as we can get
37:13without being seen.
37:15Let's get in position.
37:16All right.
37:17Now, you boys, be careful here.
37:19Yes, ma'am.
37:23Okay.
37:24We're all set, Uncle Jesse.
37:25Take it away.
37:25Hang on.
37:40We're approaching the crossroads, boys.
37:43Stay down.
37:54We're approaching the crossroads, boys.
38:17All right.
38:18Come on.
38:27Let's go.
39:03Well, so far, so good.
39:05Now, we'll leave a trail for Daisy to follow.
39:10More than things were for.
39:12Roscoe ain't been no help, but his tricks sure are.
39:25All right.
39:31I wonder which way they went.
39:34Ah.
39:48We did it, little brother.
39:50We did it.
39:51One million smackeroonies.
39:58You caught it?
39:59No, I didn't count it.
40:00I just did a quick look.
40:03Let's take a slow one.
40:04I ain't never seen a million bucks before.
40:16This ain't working.
40:18What am I going to do?
40:19They're going to tear you apart.
40:22Wait a minute.
40:23Just hold on a second.
40:27Come on.
40:27Come on.
40:27They may have friends.
40:28Wait.
40:28I ain't done what I came for.
40:40Come on.
40:46Uncle Jesse, I hear shooting.
40:48The boy's got to be in trouble, so I'm going to go on in.
40:57Boss, he's got balls.
40:59Boy, it blew him right off the porch.
41:03Boss?
41:03Boss, come on.
41:05You've got to be all right.
41:06There's a hole in his jacket.
41:07Where it got him.
41:10Boss, are you all right?
41:12All right.
41:14Come on.
41:14Sit up here.
41:15Boss, you got shot in your credit cards.
41:17You are one lucky man.
41:19Lucky boss didn't leave home without them.
41:21They ruined my credit cards.
41:24Oh, wait a minute.
41:25To heck with them cards.
41:27Them cutthroat's got my million dollars.
41:29Oh, look.
41:30That orange poker card.
41:31Come on.
41:32Come on.
41:32Come on.
41:33Let's go.
41:34Come on.
41:35Come on.
41:36All right.
41:37I swear, boss, you've got nine lives.
41:39Let's get to the go.
41:41Come on.
41:42Come on.
41:42All right.
41:43Come on.
41:43Get in here.
41:44Give me another snake.
41:46Careful.
41:46The apple plant's looking great, David.
41:49Come on.
41:49Hey, boss.
41:50Come on.
41:53Come on.
41:54Come on.
41:55Come on.
42:00Oh, they got a million bucks of mine.
42:03So catch them.
42:04Come on, answer them.
42:05Catch them.
42:05All right.
42:06We're driving this guy.
42:07You're getting in after.
42:07Yeah.
42:08All right.
42:08Just pay you a lot.
42:09Oh, you're going to have to take a shortcut.
42:11I know it.
42:12Don't we always?
42:13Yeah.
42:19Come on, brother.
42:20We got to get out of here.
42:21Don't worry about it.
42:21We got the money.
42:22We're getting away.
42:23Oh.
42:24Okay.
42:25Look.
42:26Look.
42:27Oh, no.
42:27Oh, no.
42:29Oh, no.
42:55Hey, where'd you get those handcuffs?
42:57I got a Roscoe's bag of tricks.
42:59Daisy, why don't you hold this thing for a second?
43:02Thank God for the great Coltrano, huh?
43:03Oh, the great Coltrano, my foot.
43:05Wait till I get my hands on him.
43:07I mean, everything that happened that day was his fault.
43:22And so, thanks to the Dukes, Boss's life and million dollars was saved.
43:26And them two bad brothers were sent back to jail.
43:30Boss and Lulu were leaving the night.
43:34But Roscoe was still blaming himself for losing Boss.
43:39Let me out of here.
43:40I'm going to get my Roscoe's feet off.
43:42Boss, you can't do it with this.
43:43I can't do it with this.
43:44I can't do it with this.
43:45I can't do it with this.
43:46I can't do it with this.
43:46I can't do it with this.
43:47I think I've lost you, little pet buddy.
43:49I think you're right.
43:50I can't do anything right.
43:51It just, uh...
43:58And you're the only one that ever understood me.
44:00I can't afford to lose yet.
44:01I'm the only one.
44:07I'm the only one.
44:11I'm the only one.
44:15I'm the only one.
44:16Come on.
44:16Come on, Miss Lulu.
44:24What?
44:27Oh, big green.
44:28Roscoe, we got bad news.
44:30I couldn't find him anywhere.
44:31Yeah, you must have really made him disappear.
44:34Of course I did.
44:35I'm the great Goldrino.
44:42Roscoe, why don't you give it one more try?
44:44Oh, what, so you? See, he's...
44:47Go on, give it a try. It'll work.
44:50Mugly-wugly, Mugly's ear, little fat buddy, reappear.
44:54See?
44:57It just won't work.
45:02Knock it off!
45:02You think it's funny? Just cause I can't make your...
45:10No!
45:13I'm so happy!
45:15Don't do it!
45:16I'm so happy!
45:18Well, just once.
45:29So, you see, that's the way it goes in Hatcher.
45:32Where the Dukes will even help out their animals when the chips are down.
45:35And that's plumb typical of the Dukes of Hatcher.
45:38Too bad it ain't the same everywhere else, huh?
45:40It's really weird.
45:43No!
45:52guitar solo
46:19guitar solo
Comments