- 2 days ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:13you know you're irresponsible all week you've been looking for a job you still haven't found
00:19one and you go out and spend a fortune on new earrings oh they were on sale and besides my
00:24morale needed a big boost which one do you like better i like the drop don't you think
00:29they make my face look a little long so wear one of each i'm not going to worry the pair
00:39hi donald you got today's paper hi judy hi don yeah it's on the coffee table i'll get my coat
00:46okay
00:47what do you want to see a hunger in the sky the battle of the worm people or the horrible
00:53mr baby
00:54i want to see a love story good then it's the battle of the worm people
01:00are you and leon going with us no he's delivering don't you know there's a population explosion
01:06yeah i sure do today it hit my office my secretary is going to have a baby oh great yeah
01:11great for
01:12her but not for me she quit she's not going to have that kid for seven and a half months
01:16and she quit
01:17today well some women get queasy right from the beginning they really can't work what's the big
01:22problem you just hire another girl well man you get used to a secretary i mean she learns to understand
01:27your work habits she learns to wait a minute i got an idea it's so simple all you have to
01:34do is
01:35replace your secretary with another girl i know that judy but who that girl
01:42yeah
01:56so
01:59so
02:36But I'd like just one good reason why you shouldn't hire me.
02:41Well, you have no experience as a secretary.
02:44Right. Give me one more.
02:48Anne, look, the job requires an expert typist.
02:51Oh, I got A's in high school typing.
02:58Look, Anne, you said you weren't going to pressure me, but that's what you're doing.
03:02Oh, sorry. I thought we were merely discussing it.
03:05Hey, hey, look, this looks good. A hot fudge banana split with cashew nuts.
03:09It's a great idea.
03:11Fine, I'll order two.
03:12No, I mean Judy's idea about hiring me.
03:14Anne, look, don't you ever give up.
03:17You're right. What am I making such a big fuss about?
03:20I mean, it's just a job, just a way of earning money to pay the rent and to buy food
03:26and clothing and medical supplies.
03:29Look, Anne, let me explain something to you.
03:31First of all, it is not my decision alone.
03:33Jerry Bauman and I share one secretary, so he has a voice in this, too.
03:37Oh, I'm sure Jerry wouldn't object to me.
03:39Yeah, probably not, because Jerry is not dating you.
03:41Oh, Donald, don't worry.
03:44In the office, our relationship will be purely business, and outside the office, purely personal.
03:49Anne, Anne, can I be perfectly frank with you without you getting mad?
03:53Of course.
03:55Okay.
03:56Well, I just don't think I'd like to have you working in the same office with me.
04:02Okay. Forget it.
04:04I mean, you don't want me as your secretary, and that's final.
04:08That's your decision, and I accept it.
04:10Okay.
04:12Okay, can we order now?
04:14No, I'd like to go home.
04:16What?
04:18Well, Donald, I've got a big day ahead of me tomorrow.
04:21Job hunting.
04:25Okay.
04:26Okay, Anne.
04:27Okay.
04:28If Jerry approves, you've got the job.
04:32Oh, Donald.
04:41So, when I got home, I realized it would be too much of an imposition.
04:45On who?
04:46Well, on you, of course.
04:47I mean, she's my girlfriend, and I certainly have no right to inflict her on you.
04:51So, now, look, Jerry.
04:52I want you to know, I understand.
04:54I don't.
04:55Well, you know what I mean.
04:56No.
04:57Well, I just don't think it's fair to mix you up in my personal life, right?
05:01Well, what's that got to do with Anne's working here?
05:03It's perfectly all right with me.
05:04She can start tomorrow.
05:07I always thought we were friends.
05:09We are.
05:10Yeah, but when I really need you, where are you?
05:36Good morning, Anne.
05:37Good morning.
05:38Welcome to our news factory.
05:40Oh, I hope Donald didn't give you too much pressure about hiring me.
05:43Too much?
05:44Uh, no.
05:45I wouldn't say it was too much.
05:46Good.
05:54Good morning, Anne.
05:55Good morning.
05:56Mr. Baumann is in his office, and there are no messages.
06:00Very good.
06:03Oh, you know, I've never seen you this early in the morning.
06:05You look wonderful.
06:06Most girls, they look terrible first thing in the morning.
06:09Do they?
06:10Oh, well, I mean, that's only hearsay, of course.
06:13I don't know firsthand.
06:14I mean, I just hear them talking.
06:16I mean, I just thought it was General Hollinger.
06:18Anyway, you look gorgeous.
06:20Mr. Hollinger, that is a very personal comment.
06:23And as we agreed, during business hours, we should keep everything businesslike.
06:29Yes, yes, yes, you're right.
06:31Oh, I usually get here much earlier than this.
06:34My alarm clock didn't go off this morning.
06:36No, no, really.
06:37Really, I know that sounds silly, but that's really what happened.
06:41Anne, was it?
06:42Hi, Don.
06:43Isn't this a little early for you?
06:45No.
06:46No, it's not.
06:52Anne, I'd like you to type this for me.
06:54An original and two carbons.
06:56No rush.
06:56All right.
07:02It's no good, Jerry.
07:03It's no good.
07:04Give her a chance.
07:05She's only been here five minutes.
07:07I knew it wouldn't work before she ever got here.
07:09I found myself apologizing to her for being late.
07:11That's not her fault.
07:14Shh.
07:18Shh.
07:22Uh-oh.
07:23She lied to me.
07:24She can't even type.
07:25I told her it wasn't a rush.
07:33Hi.
07:34I'm just cleaning the keys.
07:35It'll make the copy a lot cleaner.
07:46Don, relax.
07:47Everything will be all right.
07:49Yeah, because she cleans the keys?
07:50What does that prove?
07:51Why did it have to happen this week?
07:53This week?
07:54Yeah, my Otto Bergman article.
07:55It's not going fast enough,
07:56and Hamelin's beginning to turn the heat on.
08:07Well,
08:10we don't have to worry about her typing.
08:14That's about the best job of typing I've ever seen.
08:17Not a single mistake.
08:19Thank you, Mr. Bergman.
08:21We're not quite that formal around here.
08:23Nobody gets paid very much,
08:24and we all use first names.
08:26I'll remember that.
08:45Excuse me.
08:47Oh, it's okay.
08:47I was just thinking.
08:49Oh, well, excuse me for disturbing your thinking.
08:52No, no, no.
08:52I mean it.
08:53I really was thinking.
08:54Uh, uh, sometimes I'm sharper when I'm lying down.
08:57I, I don't know.
08:58Maybe it's the blood rushing to your head,
09:00or, or, uh, maybe it's, uh...
09:03Why don't we let some of this lovely sunshine in?
09:10You know, you really shouldn't cut yourself off
09:12from that gorgeous view.
09:14Uh, what do you want?
09:16Oh, well, uh, I was just wondering if you wanted anything.
09:20Uh, no, no, nothing.
09:21Well, if you do, I'm right out there.
09:23Yes, I know.
09:38Oh, hello.
09:40This is for Mr. Hollinger.
09:41Oh, thank you.
09:43Sure, Melanie, honey.
09:44Love of my life.
09:46Listen, Melanie, you gorgeous thing.
09:48Why don't you leave that broken-down husband of yours
09:50and come away with me to Tahiti,
09:52and I'll send in a new voucher filled out properly.
09:55Right.
09:56Good, goodbye.
09:59Well, it's, it's one call after another.
10:02Busy, busy, busy.
10:06Oh, well, that's one of the girls in the accounting department.
10:09She okays a lot of the expense account stuff.
10:11Oh, I like her name.
10:13Melanie, honey.
10:14That's very nice.
10:17Look, Ann, guys talk like that on the phone all the time.
10:20I mean, it, it doesn't mean anything.
10:22It's, uh...
10:24Do you have something for me?
10:25Oh, yes.
10:26This just came.
10:27Thanks.
10:28Why don't we make this place cheery?
10:41These are your reports,
10:43and I've typed out your expense account.
10:44Thanks, Ann.
10:45You get an A on your first date.
10:47Good night, Ann.
10:48Good night.
10:48Oh, would you mind saying good night to Donald for me?
10:50His door is locked.
10:52Locked?
10:52Yes.
10:53Yeah, I'll say good night.
10:54Okay, thanks.
11:03Is she gone?
11:04Yeah, I just left.
11:05Boy, she put on a good date.
11:07Yeah, well, I didn't.
11:08I didn't write one usable word.
11:09What were you doing?
11:11Mostly I was jumping up off the couch, feeling guilty, closing the drapes, explaining myself,
11:16and apologizing.
11:17Jerry, I just feel strange with her around.
11:19Tomorrow everything will fall into place.
11:22Go home, unwind, get a good night's sleep.
11:26I can't.
11:27Why?
11:28I've got a date with her tonight.
11:31You want to call off your date with Don and get a good night's sleep.
11:35I can't.
11:36Why not?
11:37Because admitting I'm tired is like admitting working for him is a big strain and that he was
11:41right in the first place.
11:42But he was right, wasn't he?
11:46So?
11:47Well, so, so as long as I've got one drop of energy left, I won't admit it.
11:55Somebody like him any day of my life.
12:13Hello, uh, Mr. Hollinger's office.
12:16Yes.
12:17Well, no, he's not in yet.
12:19May I take a message?
12:21Yes.
12:23All right.
12:24Yes, I'll tell him.
12:26Thank you very much, Mr. Hamlin.
12:29Goodbye.
12:33Morning, Anne.
12:34Morning.
12:35Happy second day.
12:36Oh, thank you.
12:42Good morning.
12:43Good morning.
12:44I, uh, I hope I didn't keep you out too late last night.
12:47No, not at all.
12:48I had the feeling I was keeping you.
12:50Oh, no, no.
12:52Oh, there was a phone call for you.
12:54He said there's no rush.
12:56And if you weren't going to the baseball game this afternoon to please give him a ring.
13:00The baseball game?
13:01Who was it?
13:01Uh, a Mr. Hamlin.
13:04A Mr. Hamlin?
13:06That's hot shit man Hamlin.
13:07He's the managing editor of this magazine.
13:09What did you tell him, ma'am?
13:10Well, I just told him you weren't in yet.
13:12Well, why did you tell him that?
13:13Well, you weren't in yet.
13:15Well, look, now he knows I'm late.
13:17What happened?
13:18Hamlin is blowing his top.
13:19It must be because I haven't sent in that Otto Bergman article yet.
13:21Oh, it didn't sound like he was blowing his top.
13:23He was very soft-spoken.
13:25Yeah, well, yeah.
13:25Well, his normal conversational tone is a scream.
13:27The madder he gets, the softer he spokes.
13:29Speaks.
13:30Speaks.
13:31Damn, that boy Hamlin's really on my back.
13:34Look.
13:35Look at that.
13:41If you ever want to get that article finished, you better dictate it to Anne.
13:45Okay, okay, now, take this.
13:50Bergman is a director to who fame has never...
13:55Whom?
13:56What?
13:57That should be whom.
13:58A director to whom fame has never...
14:03Okay, okay, uh, whom?
14:06Where was I?
14:07Fame has never...
14:09Fame has never what?
14:11I don't know.
14:13Oh, didn't you get it?
14:13Well, you didn't say what fame has never.
14:16You just said fame has never...
14:22Uh...
14:23Uh, uh, fame...
14:25Uh, fame has never...
14:28Uh, brought complacency.
14:30Uh, paragraph.
14:31Paragraph.
14:33Uh, there is no director...
14:37Whom...
14:38It is believed...
14:40Well, that'd be who.
14:41All right.
14:42All right.
14:44Who?
14:45Uh, now, where was I?
14:48It is believed.
14:51Uh, draw so deeply from his personal life for the content of his films.
14:58Um, he...
15:00He is enormously respected, even by those he has fought with.
15:05Uh, this is significant because...
15:07Uh, with is a preposition.
15:10I know that's so.
15:11Well, you really shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition.
15:16You've made up your mind to get me fired, right?
15:18Well, no, Donald.
15:19I just wouldn't want...
15:19Every time my ideas start rolling out, you get them off the track.
15:22Leave my grammar alone.
15:23Who, whom, with.
15:24It's part of the job.
15:25It's one of the things you have to put up.
15:28It's one of the things up with which you have to put.
15:30Well, yes, sir.
15:32I'll remember that.
15:33Yeah, well, type that out, and, uh...
15:35I'll rough out the rest on the typewriter.
15:37Well, yes, sir.
15:53Uh, when you're finished typing what you're working on, continue with this.
15:56Is this the whole thing?
15:57The whole thing.
15:58Type it all up clean and pretty.
15:59Right.
16:00Who do I give it to?
16:01Whom.
16:02What?
16:03Whom.
16:05Right.
16:06Whom do I give it to?
16:07And, uh, two is a preposition.
16:09You don't want to end a sentence with a preposition.
16:11To whom do I give it?
16:14Just put it on my desk.
16:20You read my article already, sir?
16:22What did you think of it?
16:24Translated?
16:25That's great.
16:25Into Swedish?
16:28English?
16:31Yeah, yes, sir.
16:32Yes, sir.
16:32I understand, sir.
16:35No, no, no, sir.
16:36No, sir.
16:37It won't happen again, sir.
16:37No.
16:39Oh, yes, sir.
16:40Yes, sir.
16:41Yes, sir.
16:43Yes, sir.
16:45Yes, sir.
16:45Goodbye, sir.
16:47Uh, Don, I have a message for you.
16:49Wait.
16:51Wait one miserable minute.
16:53Anne!
16:55The message is, Anne says good night.
16:58When she left, you were on the phone.
17:00Yeah.
17:01Yeah, with the hatchet man.
17:02I just came that close to getting fired because of her.
17:05What'd she do?
17:06It's what she didn't do.
17:07Shirley always used to clean up my grammar before she sent an article in.
17:10Anne let it go the way I gave it to her, making me look like some kind of illiterate dope.
17:15Well, why would she do that?
17:16Well, I sort of told her to leave my grammar alone, but I didn't mean on a finished copy.
17:19You mean she just sent it up to Hamlin?
17:22No.
17:23No, I sent it up.
17:24She typed it, and it looked so neat I didn't bother to check it.
17:27Well, that's not really her fault.
17:29Now, don't defend her.
17:31Don't defend her.
17:32She's got to go.
17:33She has got to be fired.
17:34I agree.
17:35Look, I don't care what...
17:39I mean, Rudy, I thought you liked her.
17:41She's fine.
17:42I can't stand you.
17:44You've been acting like a maniac since she's been here, so let's fire her.
17:50Okay.
17:51I think you ought to do it right away, first thing in the morning.
17:53Me.
17:53You.
17:54You.
17:54Me.
17:55Not me.
17:56Well, I wouldn't know what to say to her.
17:58I mean, what would I say to her?
17:59Are you going to see her tonight?
18:00Yeah.
18:01Perfect.
18:01When you pick her up, ask her what she'd like to do.
18:04And?
18:05Give her a choice.
18:06Would she like to go to dinner, see a show, or look for a new job?
18:20Oh, it all looks so delicious.
18:21I've never had any of these things before.
18:23Well, I wanted you to have something more interesting than the usual sukiyaki.
18:27Nothing is duller than the same thing day after day.
18:31You're so right.
18:33I was just wondering whether you're beginning to find your job a bit of a drag.
18:37No, not a bit.
18:38Why do you ask?
18:39Oh, well, I just wondered.
18:41I mean, golly, it's the same nine to five routine day after day after day.
18:45So far, it's only been day after day.
18:48Tomorrow will be my third day.
18:52Donald, are you trying to tell me something?
18:54What?
18:55I mean, do you have some criticism of my work?
19:00Well, um...
19:01Well, yeah.
19:03Yeah, and I do have one slight criticism.
19:05You almost got me fired today.
19:07Well, how did I do that?
19:08You typed up my Bergman article and you sent it in without bothering to correct the grammar.
19:12Well, you told me not to.
19:14You ordered me not to.
19:15I told you not to correct me in the middle of a sentence.
19:17That didn't mean never.
19:18How was I supposed to know that?
19:20By exercising a little intelligence.
19:23That's not a very nice thing to say.
19:25You're blaming me for your mistake.
19:28I am not blaming you for my mistake, and it was your mistake.
19:33Donald Hollinger, you are unfair, unjust, and unchivalrous,
19:37and I'm certainly glad I found out before getting more involved with you.
19:40Look, Ann, you can hate me all you want, but I...
19:42I don't hate you, Donald.
19:43I think that our relationship has been seriously jeopardized,
19:46and I don't think I ever want to see you again.
19:48But I certainly don't hate you.
19:53What is this?
19:54Raw fish.
20:10You must have been pretty brutal.
20:14Look, I never had a chance.
20:16She fired me.
20:17We had a fight, and I lost.
20:19I lost the fight, lost my girl,
20:22lost everything.
20:23All right.
20:40What's she doing here?
20:41Looks like she's working.
20:42I thought you fired her.
20:43So did I.
20:44Apparently, she doesn't have that impression.
20:46What should I do?
20:47Fire her.
20:48Are you out of your mind?
20:49I have to straighten out the personal relationship first.
20:51The longer you put it off, the worse it'll be.
20:53Jerry, I just can't go out there and say good morning.
20:55You're fired.
20:55Well, I guess I'll have to do it myself.
20:57Now, what?
21:00Okay, I'll do it.
21:02But my own way.
21:04You buzzed?
21:06Yes.
21:07Yes, I did, Ann.
21:08Yes, Mr. Hollinger.
21:10Oh, so now it's Mr. Hollinger.
21:12Yes, Mr. Hollinger.
21:14Well, uh, Miss Marie, um, about last night.
21:21I beg your pardon, but last night was between Ann and Donald.
21:25I really don't think Miss Marie and Mr. Hollinger should be discussing it.
21:30Right.
21:32Absolutely right.
21:36Take a letter, please.
21:40To who it may concern.
21:42Uh, that should be whom.
21:44I made it whom.
21:45Right, right.
21:45I was just testing.
21:50When someone is as crazy about another person as I am about you.
21:56These are business hours and I...
21:58Miss Marie, it is your job to take dictation from me.
22:01The content of that dictation is my responsibility, not yours.
22:05Yes, sir.
22:07Uh, read that back to me, please.
22:09When someone is as crazy about another person as I am about you.
22:16Uh, would you read that back to me, please, Miss Marie?
22:25When someone is as crazy about another person as I am about you.
22:31Very good.
22:35It is impossible to have a business-like relationship.
22:40My feelings towards you are intensely personal.
22:45And the strain of pretending to be impersonal has shortened my temper, impaired my judgment, jeopardized my career.
22:55And most important of all, has estranged me from the person I care for the most.
23:01Namely, the aforesaid you.
23:07Will you read that back to me, please?
23:15The strain of these past few days has been unbearable for me, too.
23:19And for the same reasons you mentioned.
23:21My temper and, and disposition have been even worse than yours.
23:38P.S.
23:40You're fired.
23:47Say, shouldn't you two be leaving soon?
23:49In a minute or two.
23:50Terry Doby's dropping by to meet Donald.
23:52Terry's the secretary I told you about that's going to replace me.
23:55Great typist, fantastic shorthand, and very, very bright.
23:59Yeah, there's probably a catch.
24:00An advanced state of ugliness, right?
24:02Yeah, that's the way I pick them for Leon.
24:05No.
24:06Terry happens to be extremely attractive.
24:09Fine.
24:10Just don't let any of this subversive talk reach Leon's ears, please.
24:16You know, I'm sure glad you don't feel the way Judy does on that subject.
24:20I mean, somehow it just seems so petty.
24:23It really is.
24:24I mean, I always assumed that men hired their secretaries for their ability, not for their appearance.
24:29Oh, this man does.
24:30Typing, shorthand, and intelligence.
24:33That's what comes with me.
24:34I knew that's the way you'd feel.
24:37Oh, I'll get that.
24:43Hi, Terry.
24:45Terry, I want you to meet Donald Hollinger.
24:48Oh, I'll get that.
25:18Oh, I'll get that.
25:23Oh, I'll get that.
25:36Oh, I'll get that.
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