- 2 days ago
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00:00Did you see the light, the police light going, Mary?
00:03Do you know where the binoculars are?
00:05I'm going to get in the car and take a closer look.
00:07Oh, you're such an awful ghoul.
00:08Sorry, Mary.
00:09You're like an onlooker at a motorway crash.
00:12Sorry, it's not every day you've got police rummaging through ex-politician's drawers.
00:20No!
00:22What an entrance.
00:24I'm living for this.
00:25Taser in.
00:26We had a lot of chocolate, it's all.
00:28I don't think so.
00:30Oh, here we go.
00:31What is that?
00:32Oh, shut up.
00:34This doesn't look real.
00:35I don't think it is.
00:36A flamborsier?
00:37What's a flamborsier?
00:39Oh, I knew it.
00:40No!
00:41This looks so badly.
00:43None of us learn do it.
00:46I hate you.
00:48Must remember that, Bella.
00:49This is what everybody came for.
00:52The alarm bells are ringing with me, Mary.
00:55Least and apples are covered.
00:56Yeah.
00:57It's half a bottle.
00:57In the week, we bid a farm farewell.
00:59Well, to Darsen's Creek legend, James Van Der Beek, we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:06The flirting in fancy dress continued on Netflix.
01:10Hey, we need assistance.
01:11It is a slippery little thing and I cannot find my wallet.
01:14May I?
01:14You chased me pretty hard.
01:28Let's face it, darling, you flew the whole way to Mexico.
01:31You didn't really know me that well.
01:34That was...
01:34I was your Cinderella, wasn't I?
01:36I mean...
01:37I mean, I'm not the best example of Cinderella.
01:41Slightly bigger shoe.
01:43There is an argument that maybe that is the case.
01:46There is a...
01:47Oh, look, you're flashing, darling.
01:49Guy Martin had all his tools out on Channel 4.
01:55Revealing where the leaks are requires a smoke gun.
01:59And you can see the smoke on the outside, look.
02:03Look at that.
02:05That's mad to look, yeah.
02:06There's some middle-aged men out there watching this and absolutely loving it.
02:12They've ordered a smoke gun off Amazon.
02:15They're going round every single window.
02:17They've got a smart meter in hand and they're in their element.
02:21It is a very middle-aged man programme, this, isn't it?
02:24Yeah, getting aggy about the heating bill.
02:26That's what happens when you're a man over 35.
02:29And it was touch and go for the PM on BBC News.
02:33The Prime Minister has just arrived in Parliament
02:36to address his backbench MPs after a febrile day
02:40which saw the leader of the Scottish Labour Party call for him to resign.
02:44Do you know what the Prime Ministership reminds me of?
02:48Like the Manchester United manager, you know,
02:50you have a streak of that game, you get canned.
02:53Yeah.
02:54That's how it goes.
02:55We're searching for our Alex Ferguson.
02:57Yeah.
03:05In North London...
03:06Amira, what the hell are you doing right now?
03:09Huh?
03:10Are you being serious?
03:11What are you doing?
03:12Sisters Amira and Armani.
03:14I'm growing out hairs, man.
03:16I need to take care of it.
03:17I'm in between appointments right now.
03:20So, I have to do something about it.
03:23I can actually see your hair from over here.
03:26No, don't, Amira, please.
03:28I'm already self-conscious about it.
03:30I can see the shadow of your...
03:31On Tuesday night, a bunch of strangers
03:35began a big climb up a mountain on ITV1.
03:38I'm going to sneeze.
03:39I've climbed something before.
03:50I can't even remember what it's called,
03:52but I wasn't prepared for that.
03:54All I had in the backpack for myself was the Galaxy Ribble.
03:56Fourteen ordinary Brits...
03:59Hey, don't ask that.
04:00Let's go.
04:01...who have never climbed a mountain before.
04:03Oh, never done it.
04:05So they're not even experienced that?
04:07No.
04:07Who's got what it takes...
04:09Oh, I've got to move.
04:11Come on.
04:12...to reach the summit.
04:14How did Toril?
04:16Where's Toril?
04:17It's Somerset.
04:18What mountains have you climbed?
04:19I mean, I've done no...
04:20I haven't admittedly climbed any mountains.
04:22I did trek a very long way in Peru at a high altitude.
04:26You went on the train with your mother.
04:31The summit.
04:33There must be summits wrong with you if you bloody go on this.
04:36How high is Toril Hill?
04:40Troy Hill is 5 feet 10 inches.
04:42What?
04:42That's the wrong hill.
04:45That's the wrong hill.
04:48Welcome, everyone.
04:50Your goal is to reach the summit of that mountain behind me.
04:55Woo!
04:56Right, hang on.
04:57Are they going to make them climb that?
04:59You've got a deadline of just 14 days to reach the top.
05:04No, count me out.
05:05And as it gets higher up, you get poolier and poolier
05:08because you can't breathe because you're closer to the sun.
05:11Morning, everyone.
05:13How can we all sleep?
05:15After camping out, the group were preparing for another day of hiking.
05:19Is there a glove out here anywhere?
05:21One of my gloves has randomly gone missing.
05:23One of my gloves has randomly gone missing.
05:25Aki, you've lost it.
05:26Dockers.
05:26Oh, no.
05:27Dockers, is that yours?
05:30Oh, God.
05:30Where was that?
05:32Literally on the fire.
05:33What?
05:34Who's put the glove on the fire?
05:35There's no worse when your glove gets put on the fire.
05:38I didn't have any gloves out here last night.
05:40Yeah, you did.
05:41You had both pairs of gloves out.
05:42Oh, here we go.
05:43Here we go.
05:44It's started.
05:45Tension is rising in the camp area.
05:47Oh, when people are tired and hungry and probably haven't been able to go to the loo.
05:51Oh.
05:51And their clothes are chafing.
05:53I didn't have any gloves out here last night.
05:56Pretty sure you did.
05:57You're calling me a liar now, yeah?
05:59Straight away, he gets confrontational.
06:01Are you calling me a liar?
06:03The gloves are off now, Julie.
06:05I'm not saying you're a liar.
06:07I think Dockers seems to be a bit of a hothead.
06:09You've got to watch out for him.
06:10Put the sucking in, Dockers.
06:12His game plan is try and be the alpha, be the big dog.
06:16I don't need that.
06:17No, you're right.
06:18No one does need that.
06:19Thomas is very good at reading people.
06:21Oh, yeah.
06:21Well, if I was Dockers, I'd be curving that attitude.
06:25Right then, guys.
06:26So I think what we should do is kind of head towards the mountain.
06:30That's good strategy, that is.
06:32What we should do is just kind of head towards the top of the mountain.
06:35Who's with me?
06:37Every time Tom speaks, it goes through my veins.
06:40It makes me cringe.
06:41He is the most annoying creature I've ever met.
06:44Oh, creature?
06:46Dockers, wow.
06:47This is going to be a long 14 days.
06:49Goodness me.
06:50I tell you, look, they're struggling already.
06:52A bit later, with the team making their way across a rickety old bridge.
06:57Nice and steady.
07:00Oh, bloody hell, it's wonky as hell.
07:03Oh, no.
07:03That's the thing of your nightmares, right, innit?
07:05Yeah, that's what my nightmares are made of.
07:07There was a twist in the tale.
07:09Your first decision as a group has come sooner than you think.
07:12What could this be?
07:14You must choose someone to be the last to cross.
07:16No.
07:17When that person's on the bridge, you must take the axe and cut the rope.
07:21They've got to eliminate somebody.
07:22Guys, I think there's any one person.
07:25No.
07:25Oh, he's going to say Tom.
07:27Tom.
07:29Tom.
07:29Oh.
07:31He hates Tom, doesn't he?
07:32This morning, he called me a liar.
07:34He's got to go.
07:35This morning, he called me a liar.
07:37He called me a liar.
07:38And I think he burnt my glove.
07:40Go on, Tom.
07:41You've got this.
07:46This is awful.
07:48It's not nice.
07:49It's not nice, is it?
07:51Right down, down.
07:54Oh, my God.
07:55Oh, the axe is coming out.
07:58Ah!
07:59Oh, no!
08:05You're joking!
08:07That's fucking ruthless.
08:09Tom kept trying to be an alpha male.
08:11He kept challenging me.
08:13And he had to go.
08:14And I'm the one that's made that happen.
08:17Jeez.
08:18Demersion, we bugger, didn't he?
08:19That's one good thing about being in a gay relationship.
08:22There's not much toxic masculinity here.
08:24Zero toxic masculinity going on in this house.
08:31Elite.
08:32Is it?
08:33I've done something today that I've been meaning to do for six months.
08:37What?
08:38I've washed my mucky shoes.
08:40What?
08:41Them ones under the caravan?
08:42Them ones that were under the caravan, yeah?
08:44No.
08:45And do you know all I did?
08:46What?
08:46I just put them in a washing machine.
08:49Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
08:51I thought, I'll break my washing machine rather than wash some by hand.
08:57That is literally you.
08:58That gets fuming with me over what I put in washing machine.
09:02Well, yeah, you were telling me about them chicken mats that you actually really nearly did break your washing machine.
09:06Is he still going on about that?
09:08Piece of stones and straw ridden mats and you put them in washing machine?
09:14I've opened your dishwasher and found a pair of sliders before.
09:19Work smarter, not harder, is he?
09:21On Tuesday night, problematic pooches were being put right on Channel 5.
09:28Who's a clever sausage?
09:29Oh, did you hear that?
09:35I'm scared that it's going to come for me.
09:37No!
09:37I don't believe in wrapping up dogs in clothes.
09:43Mind you, I saw some dogs the other day walking along the street and they had full baby grows down all their arms.
09:49And I thought, actually, that was quite clever because sops are getting muddy.
09:52Oh, bollocks.
09:53Dad and Joe, I want to go on this with Dudley and Frank, don't they?
10:00They do, they're poor little bastards.
10:03Graham's next job takes him north to Derby.
10:06Oh, God, annoying dogs in Derby.
10:07They're not coming to my house, are they?
10:09To meet a labradoodle who's quite the handful.
10:12We love a labradoodle.
10:14Oh, such nice dogs.
10:15Well, obviously, because we have a doodle.
10:17Well, apparently, one of the most common accidents in Scotland is labradors knocking small children off bridges.
10:24Oh, for heaven's sake.
10:25I promise you, if you look it up, it is a problem.
10:28Bridges?
10:29Hmm.
10:30Little foot bridges.
10:31Oh.
10:33What, into rivers?
10:34Yes.
10:35Oh, hello.
10:36Hello, you're great.
10:36Nice to meet you.
10:37You all right?
10:37Come on in.
10:38Hello, you're Rupert, are you?
10:39You're lively.
10:40Come on, in you go.
10:41Oh, jumping up.
10:42Right, that's what I was doing.
10:43Oh, gosh, very friendly.
10:45He's a lovely lad compared to some other dogs I see.
10:47He's amazing.
10:48He's the best family dog that you could wish for.
10:51What's up with him, then?
10:53What is the problem, then, if he's so perfect?
10:56The problem, apparently, is when I leave the house.
10:59Oh, really?
11:00It turns into a completely different dog.
11:02What does he do?
11:03What does he do, like?
11:03I wonder if the dog thinks I'm the man of the house now.
11:07Yeah.
11:07From the moment his master's back is turned...
11:11See you later, kids.
11:12See you later, Bob.
11:13Bye.
11:14What is he going to do?
11:15Oh, God, I'm scared.
11:17Can't wait to see this.
11:18Rupert has one thing on his mind.
11:21A leg over with the lady of the house.
11:25Oh, my God.
11:27Oh, God!
11:28Oh, my God!
11:29He fancies his owner's wife.
11:32A pickle still does that on my foot.
11:35This loved-up Labradoodle wants time alone with Bobby.
11:39Get down!
11:41Fuck yeah.
11:41In the kitchen...
11:43Rupert!
11:45Rupert, man!
11:46Get down, Rupert!
11:47Ha!
11:49In the bedroom...
11:51Oh, no.
11:52No.
11:53No.
11:54Pas devant les enfants.
11:55Pas devant les enfants.
11:58On the couch.
11:59Oh, my God.
12:01He does not stop.
12:02But what would happen if she let him carry on?
12:05I mean, do you know what I mean?
12:06Would he eventually...
12:07No, don't go there, Mary.
12:09I'm going to have to ask you to leave your own house, Alice, so I can see the problem.
12:12But is he going to do it if Graham's there?
12:15Bye.
12:17Get down.
12:19Blimey, aren't I?
12:20Get down.
12:20Not even a second!
12:21Straight away!
12:22The kids just don't even notice anymore.
12:24They don't even care anymore.
12:25Mum's being humped by the dog.
12:27That's normal.
12:27So, as soon as Rupert starts to jump up, we're going to lead him outside.
12:33And we're going to throw a command in there as well.
12:35Right?
12:36Game over.
12:36Game over.
12:37I'm going to remember that with you.
12:39Game over.
12:40But how will Rupert react to some tough love?
12:45Oh.
12:46OK.
12:46Right.
12:47Put him outside.
12:47Go on.
12:48Ray, get out!
12:49Why are you sure?
12:50It's like you were a dog.
12:51Well, no, you get on my tits.
12:54Game over.
12:54That's it.
12:55Lead him out.
12:56Best you can.
12:56Come on.
12:57Drag him out.
12:59Lead him out whilst he's humping you.
13:01Yeah.
13:02Out.
13:03That's it.
13:05I'm sure they are.
13:07There you go.
13:09Won't how many times they have to do that before he gets the message?
13:12Go on.
13:13Try again.
13:15Straight at him.
13:16Game over.
13:17Straight back.
13:19It's like, oh, baby, I missed you.
13:23There you are, darling.
13:25I'm sorry.
13:28He's processing right now.
13:30Yeah.
13:31Something has changed.
13:32He is thinking about it.
13:34The dog getting C.
13:35Come on, young man.
13:36Try again.
13:39Oh, good boy.
13:40Yeah, hello.
13:40Oh, look, see, see, see, see.
13:44Oh, he stopped.
13:46Oh, that's worth a treat.
13:47Good boy.
13:48Good boy.
13:50Well, that did take very long, did it?
13:52He hadn't done it.
13:53All that time it's been...
13:54It's been fucking twice outside.
13:56Perhaps I'll stop putting you out into the garden when you're annoying.
13:59But I like going into the garden, Mary.
14:01Yeah, the backfire.
14:02Your best punishment would be to stop me going into the garden, saying, do this paperwork.
14:07What am I expecting for Valentine's Day?
14:20It's a bunch of flowers, a card, and some chocolates, and you're good, isn't it?
14:23And maybe breakfast in bed, two fried dumplings and an egg.
14:27Sarah, her husband, Andre, and their daughter, Shay.
14:31Two fried dumplings and an egg.
14:33How romantic.
14:34I'm surprised we didn't say I had some sausage.
14:37I'm surprised we didn't say that.
14:39No, that's for dinner, bud.
14:40That's it.
14:41You can't be having that for breakfast.
14:44Oh, where are you going?
14:44Where are you going?
14:46I meant sausages, like square sausages.
14:50Just behave.
14:51Both of you, just behave.
14:53All right?
14:54On Saturday night, there was more sweaty spandex on BBC One.
15:00With this drink, I'm in Hawaii.
15:03If I was a gladiator, my name would be Chafe.
15:06Chafe?
15:07Yeah.
15:07Because wearing that Lycra, man, they've got to chafe, isn't it?
15:10They've got to.
15:10You're a gladiator.
15:14I always think I'm not competitive.
15:19But sometimes I get very interested in gladiators.
15:22You do, aren't you?
15:23They're more competitive than you think.
15:26Well, there was that time when I won a whole lot of table tennis matches.
15:29Yes.
15:29And I became really unpleasant, gloating.
15:32Yes.
15:32Please welcome Sean and Henry.
15:41It's a bit of a mismatch, isn't it?
15:42They compete against each other.
15:44He's got an head start.
15:45Well, he's got an head and shoulders start, hasn't he?
15:49A brand new event featuring the highest free fall ever on gladiator.
15:54Doing that.
15:54I do that.
15:55Nobody's going to push me off a ledge.
15:57Contender and gladiator must push a 220 kilogram sliding wall.
16:02Imagine someone like Hindley against Diane pushing that wall.
16:06Well, the smaller one will definitely lose, isn't he?
16:09This is where size and weight matter.
16:13When the siren sounds, the platform tilts.
16:15Oh, it tilts.
16:16Oh, my God.
16:18First giving the contender the advantage before shifting in favour of the gladiator.
16:23Yeah, so you get a tilt on your side first.
16:26Yeah.
16:27If you miss that opportunity, you're done.
16:29100%.
16:30Three, two, one.
16:34It's warm.
16:35Okay, now it's run straight into it.
16:37Turn into the screen and look at Hammer already driving.
16:40Come on, Sean, push back.
16:42Push back, Sean.
16:43We need a tilt.
16:44Tilt it.
16:45We need a tilt.
16:46We need a tilt.
16:47Hammer is trying his best to shove him off the end before that happens, but here we go.
16:52Here we go.
16:53Come on.
16:53Yeah, it's tilts.
16:54Come on, there's a tilt.
16:55And this is where Sean might be able to gain some ground and push that screen back.
17:00Can you hear Sean?
17:04Because here we go.
17:05The tilt goes the other way.
17:07Hammer is tilting.
17:08Oh, it's tilting.
17:09Yeah, he's done.
17:09Bye, Sean.
17:11And it will be time for Hammer to finish the job.
17:16Oh, Sean.
17:18Hammer absolutely hammered him.
17:20Yeah.
17:22It's Hindley.
17:22No way Hindley's going to make any progress up there.
17:28So, do you think being shorter, he might have a lower sense of gravity, he could be good at this?
17:32It sounds good, Simon, but I doubt it.
17:35Rawr!
17:36Pfeiffer gives it the raw.
17:39Oh, bloody hell.
17:41They're a bit aggressive.
17:42Ezra headbutted me this morning.
17:44I know.
17:45Oh, he's up against that nasty bugger.
17:47He's a nasty one he is, Pfeiffer.
17:49Two, one!
17:50Two, one!
17:51Here comes the tilt!
17:52Here comes the tilt!
17:53Oh!
17:54Hold your ground, O'Shawns.
17:55Come on, Pat, you've got in.
17:56Hindley straight away using his lower centre of gravity.
17:59Lower centre of gravity.
18:00Lower centre of gravity.
18:01Oh, I'll get a bit of momentum going.
18:03Here comes the tilt!
18:05And look at Mifer going!
18:06Oh, come on, yes!
18:07Oh, my God!
18:08Get him off!
18:09Come on, Hindley!
18:10He's moving him!
18:11He's moving him!
18:12Yeah, man!
18:13He's sliding towards oblivion here!
18:14Yes, Hindley!
18:15Yes, Hindley!
18:16Yeah!
18:17There we go.
18:18Come on, Hindley!
18:19Hell, all right.
18:20It's gonna be a win for Hindley!
18:23No way!
18:24Bye-bye, bye-bye!
18:25Come on!
18:26Bye-bye, bye-bye, you're gone!
18:28Yes, Hindley!
18:29I think we've learnt something, haven't we, today.
18:30Who won then?
18:31Because I think I know where you're coming from.
18:32Yes, Hindley!
18:33I think we've learnt something, haven't we, today.
18:34Who won then?
18:35Because I think I know where you're coming from.
18:37Yeah!
18:38Yeah, man!
18:39I'm ready for some press-ups now, some burpees, some star jumps.
18:43Dad, you're chatting a load of nonsense.
18:45What do you mean I'm chatting a load of nonsense?
18:47Listen, before you were born, you know, I was in the gym every day.
18:49So what happened to now?
18:50When you came along, that was it.
18:52My life turned upside down.
18:54Well, I'm 26 now, so what's your excuse?
18:56Well, 26 years!
18:58It's taken me 26 years to get over this initial shock of when you were born.
19:03Oh, my God!
19:04In the Cotswolds...
19:07Perkins!
19:08Perkins!
19:09Where's my baby?
19:10Come here!
19:11They've got your present.
19:13You chose this.
19:14Show him his present.
19:15Andrew and his husband Alfie.
19:17What did you choose?
19:19Look, it's called Donald Grump.
19:21Do you think he's a Trump-liker?
19:23Well, I don't know...
19:24No, please!
19:25I don't know if he likes it or...
19:26Hopefully, he'll...
19:27He'll eat it!
19:29He chose it in the shop.
19:30I turned around, it was in his mouth.
19:32So I had to buy it.
19:33Perkins, do you have no taste?
19:35He's obsessed.
19:36Or maybe it's because he wants to attack it.
19:38I think so.
19:39Well done, Perkins.
19:40You can have a little treat as well.
19:42It looks a bit like you, actually.
19:44It does not look like me.
19:45Ridiculous.
19:46This week, Benedict was still on the hunt for his missing Cinderella on Netflix.
19:52Do you know what?
19:53I'm not into oldy-worldy shite, but I do like a bit of Bridgerton now.
19:56Well, it's oldy-worldy shite with a twist of new, isn't it?
19:59Bit of muck.
20:00Yeah.
20:01I think that is why I like it, because it has got that nice, tingey muck running through it.
20:04Yeah.
20:05Remove my britches.
20:06Expose your loins.
20:07I like that.
20:12Ooh, Bridgerton.
20:16At the minute, Benedict is actually falling in love with Sophie, the maid.
20:20But he's still not realised that she was actually the woman in silver when there was the ball.
20:25Quite dashing, brother.
20:27Oh.
20:28Good evening, Sophie.
20:29Mr Bridgerton.
20:30That's her.
20:31Well, there she is.
20:32This is her.
20:33Now, won't you think?
20:34Ooh.
20:35You look better in silver, love.
20:36Yeah.
20:37No, you see, he's not taking much notice, I don't think.
20:39No, no.
20:40No.
20:41How are you finding your position?
20:44My sisters are not wearing you out, are they?
20:46You'd like to wear her out, wouldn't they?
20:47Oh.
20:48Theresa.
20:49Oh.
20:50I find them to be intellectually, er, surprising.
20:52Even her voice.
20:53He spoke to her.
20:54Yeah.
20:55He spoke to her.
20:56You think?
20:57I even need her assistance.
21:01Oh, I beg your pardon.
21:02It is a slippery little thing and I cannot find my wallet.
21:05May I?
21:06May I?
21:07May I?
21:08May you?
21:09That's a great print, isn't it?
21:12Look, look at her gazing up at him.
21:14I'd laugh if someone was looking at me like that.
21:17I actually would just say, what are you looking at?
21:19You fucking creep.
21:21There you are.
21:25Thank you, Sophie.
21:26Oh, shit.
21:27I thought they were gonna kiss then.
21:29Oh, he is absolutely smitten with that girl.
21:33A bit later, Benedict's mum thought she'd found the mystery lady
21:37and arranged the tea party.
21:39And did you go up on the countryside?
21:41We lived between the two.
21:43I lived from here.
21:44I lived from here.
21:47He's looking at the mouth.
21:48The mouth will give it away because they had a little...
21:52Alright.
21:53I think you...
21:54you...
21:55could tell someone for your mouth.
21:57It's quite a fun idea a mouth-grade portal.
21:59I mean, you could tell me by my mouth.
22:01I've got mean little lips.
22:04He says it is wonderful.
22:06Here she comes!
22:07Here she is!
22:08Here she is!
22:09It's the only time I've ever seen a Sophie making a tea.
22:15Oh, she's clopped the bird.
22:17And who's this fucker?
22:18She's not happy.
22:19His face is dropped.
22:20He now feels awkward.
22:21We're all bloody awkward.
22:22It's such a beautiful home.
22:23It has always been the dream of my visit, Bridgeton House.
22:26No, but surely you were here for the masquerade ball.
22:28Oh, yes, I was planning to attend,
22:30but sadly I fell ill and could not.
22:32Oh, lordy me.
22:34Oh!
22:35She weren't there!
22:36It's not her from the masquerade ball!
22:39Confirmation, it's not her!
22:41Perhaps with all the disguises I was thought to have been there.
22:44You said a lot of time if you asked that question at the beginning.
22:46Absolutely.
22:47Did you come to the board?
22:48No, bye.
22:49Oh, no, it's all the staff going out for a drink.
22:55Staff myself.
22:56Oh, I have left my coin pass in my room.
22:59Aye.
23:00I know somebody else all forgets the coin pairs when they go out.
23:02Yeah, I don't, you.
23:06Oh, here we go.
23:07Oof, like that.
23:08They're going to come face to face.
23:15Oh, there you go.
23:17I thought you...
23:20Is this a lunge-worthy moment, Mary?
23:22Yes, it is.
23:24Oh, here we go.
23:26Scandalous, Mary.
23:27What?
23:28Oh, my God, where is he going?
23:29I mean, I'm sorry.
23:30Oh.
23:31Oh, don't be silly.
23:32Not up against the wall in the house.
23:34She can't get her bloopers down quick enough.
23:35I know.
23:36Oh.
23:37What a chance.
23:38Oh!
23:39Oh!
23:40Oh!
23:41Oh!
23:42Oh!
23:43Oh!
23:44Oh!
23:45Oh!
23:46Oh!
23:47Oh!
23:48Oh!
23:49Oh!
23:50Oh!
23:51Oh!
23:52Oh!
23:53Oh!
23:54Oh!
23:55Oh!
23:56Oh!
23:57Oh!
23:58Oh, my Lord!
23:59Oh, my Lord!
24:03Oh!
24:04Oh!
24:05Oh!
24:06Oh!
24:07Oh!
24:08Oh!
24:09Oh!
24:10Oh, my Lord!
24:11Oh, my Lord!
24:12Oh!
24:13Oh!
24:14Oh!
24:15Oh...
24:16Oh!
24:17Oh!
24:18Oh!
24:19She's there for vicking.
24:20No one's gonna fucking believe this in the morning.
24:23I got a finger off Mr Bridges
24:25When I search for you and everyone I enter, my heart beats when you're near.
24:30This is everything Sophie wants to hear. Look at her face.
24:32This is leading up to the L word, isn't it?
24:35You get the feeling it is.
24:37Sophie.
24:38Will you marry me?
24:44Be my mistress.
24:48I beg your pardon.
24:50What?
24:52Sophie, be my mistress.
24:55Fuck off.
24:56Why? What's the problem?
24:57Mistress.
24:58What's the problem with that?
24:59Just someone that you have sex with.
25:01Mistress?
25:02Yeah.
25:03Be as mistress.
25:04When you fill in a form, that's an option.
25:06Miss.
25:07No, and mistress.
25:08Are you coming, Sophie?
25:10We waited for you.
25:18Ah, not gone damn well.
25:20Surprise.
25:20That'll be a no from me.
25:22Good girl.
25:23Good girl doesn't even give him an answer.
25:26If he'd have asked me to be his mistress in that scenario, I'd have need him in the bollocks, grabbed me coin purse, gone straight to tavern and snogged somebody else to make him jealous.
25:37God, I'd have gave him mistress.
25:47In Leeds.
25:49God, I've got a tickly cough and you gave me this cough.
25:53Best friends Danielle and Daniella.
25:55I need you to stop blaming me for everything today.
25:58That's what I need you to do.
26:00Because I, it's that time of the month for me, I will bite your head off.
26:03Oh, we've not synced, have we?
26:05Uh-huh.
26:07Yeah.
26:07All right, let's go.
26:08Do you know what?
26:09There's only one way we can sort it out.
26:11Come on.
26:11What on what screen?
26:13Listen.
26:14On Saturday night, BBC One was going big again.
26:22What the bloody hell is this?
26:24Juice?
26:25Yeah.
26:26Where's wine?
26:26It's Saturday night.
26:28I'm not opening one of my nice bottles just for you.
26:30Charming.
26:33Evening, ladies and gentlemen.
26:36And welcome to my big show.
26:41He's funny just to look at, isn't he?
26:45Do you know what?
26:46When I was a kid, pranks would be like pulling somebody's trousers down.
26:49Yeah.
26:49Something like that.
26:50Can't get away with it these days.
26:51You can't do me now.
26:52You know, gone are the days.
26:54Gone are the days you can keg someone.
26:56Tonight we are surprising the amazing Westlife.
27:02Wee!
27:03I see them down the O2.
27:05You raise me up.
27:07I knew you were going to sing that song.
27:09So I can stand my.
27:11Is there anybody who's never heard of Westlife?
27:16Is there?
27:16Woo!
27:18Of course I've heard of.
27:20Have you heard of them?
27:21I know Westlife, Boyzone, take that.
27:23Genuinely not heard of Westlife?
27:25Okay.
27:26How old are you?
27:2916.
27:29Well, I wouldn't have heard of him how long ago, was it?
27:32Oh, hiya, boys.
27:34In on the joke was Alex Jones, who was hosting a fake chat show backstage.
27:39Every week, okay, we give one lucky viewer a chance to meet their heroes.
27:43And my next guest might just be Westlife's number one fan.
27:47Oh, it's that 16 year old lad.
27:50He's never even heard of him.
27:51Please welcome Roman.
27:53Oh, my God!
27:57Not the t-shirt.
28:01I love the t-shirt.
28:03Isn't it great?
28:04That's great.
28:05The people thinking, nah, he's way too young to be our fan.
28:08I mean, I'm a bit nervous because I'm a big fan of Westlife.
28:11Do you feel the same?
28:12Yeah, I love them.
28:12Yeah.
28:13All right, Roman.
28:14Get him up after immediately.
28:16Did your parents introduce you to Westlife?
28:19My dad used to listen to them, like, a lot.
28:21Yeah.
28:21Who was your dad's favourite?
28:23Which one of the boys here?
28:24The Irish one.
28:25Yeah.
28:26I remember, I don't know, I think it was you.
28:29I think it was you.
28:31I think it was you.
28:33I don't know his name.
28:35It was you.
28:36It's Brian McFarland.
28:38I tell you what, is there anything?
28:39The floor is yours.
28:41What do you want to ask the boys?
28:42What's he going to ask them?
28:44Okay.
28:45If you shave your chest here.
28:51It's hard, isn't it?
28:52What age is it?
28:52Can I have a hug?
28:53Oh, I'm 16.
28:54He's embracing it now.
28:55He is.
28:56Because he's getting right into character.
28:58You're 16.
28:59Have a hug.
29:01Oh, he's not much taller than them.
29:06I bet they've gone through that door and gone like that to each other.
29:10What the hell just happened to them?
29:11I know.
29:11Huh?
29:12What are we doing here?
29:13I'll be in two seconds.
29:16A wall is going to collapse.
29:17Is that right, Mary?
29:18Yes.
29:19Yeah, come and cheer.
29:20Oh.
29:22Oh, there it goes.
29:24Look at the faces.
29:33Michael McIntyre is getting bats and bats down.
29:35Yeah.
29:38You fucking...
29:39Uptown girl.
29:45Everyone knows this is an absolute bop.
29:47Oh, he's loving it.
29:52There's one here.
29:53There's one here.
29:54Uptown girl.
29:57She's been living in a...
29:58Uptown world.
30:00I bet she never had a bad freak guy.
30:04I bet her mother never told her why.
30:08You have to do it in time.
30:09Yeah, I am in time.
30:11You're out of time.
30:14Uptown girl.
30:16Sing the bitch, you know.
30:17You must be in Uptown girl.
30:21You live in the white bed world.
30:23You have to be a bit of wops.
30:25There is a number one fan.
30:31Just not a best line.
30:32Go on, Roman, sing.
30:33Uptown girl.
30:35Oh, they've still got it.
30:46Oh, they have.
30:47Nobody's ever surprised me.
30:48I don't know why.
30:49No, because I don't like you.
30:54In Blackpool.
30:56Oh, Ace.
30:57What?
30:57Jimmy's got star of the day.
30:59Aww.
31:01Always listening in phonics.
31:03That's sad, that, innit?
31:05Aww.
31:05Pete and his little sister, Sophie.
31:08He'll be made up with that.
31:10Oh, aye.
31:10Well, I know what'll end up happening.
31:12He's like Paige with stuff like this.
31:14Star of the day now.
31:15He'll be star of the day for the next three months.
31:17Yeah.
31:18Really wring the arse out of it.
31:20Oh, can I have McDonald's and my tea now?
31:22No.
31:23On Friday, it was fallout from the sickening scandal across the pond that made the headlines
31:29on home soil.
31:30That's poor, I've had.
31:39Oh, get us a fork.
31:41I can't eat this.
31:42Isn't it extraordinary how we are in the eye of the hurricane of domestic and world views?
31:48Mm.
31:49Mm.
31:49Hello, good evening.
31:50The Metropolitan Police are searching two properties linked to Lord Mandelson.
31:54Stripping off his title.
31:56Let's start there.
31:57He's a right bloody dirty game, isn't he, that Lord Mandelson?
32:00Slipperier than soap he is.
32:02The force is investigating the peer after emails released by the US government appear to show
32:07him sharing sensitive information with the convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.
32:12Oh, God.
32:12This is such a bloody mess, Simon.
32:14How the mighty have fallen.
32:16Peter Mandelson hasn't publicly commented on the allegations, but has previously denied
32:21any wrongdoing and said he regrets his past friendship with Epstein.
32:26If he has even had a whiff of a connection with Epstein, that should have been enough.
32:31His political career or whatever.
32:33That's it, curtains.
32:34I feel like we should bring back shaming people.
32:36Yeah, 100%.
32:37That's shame, shame.
32:40It is a striking end to a week of jaw-dropping revelations about the politician and his paedophile
32:46friend.
32:47Say it how it is.
32:48They don't pull the punches, do they, nowadays?
32:50Good.
32:50They say it outright, this paedophile friend.
32:52Yeah, and I'm glad they do that, because...
32:54Yeah, I'm glad they do that, you know.
32:55We don't know which emails the police are investigating, but among those released by
32:59the US government, is one where it appears Peter Mandelson gave Jeffrey Epstein advance
33:04notice of an enormous EU bailout.
33:07No!
33:11Epstein emailed Lord Mandelson, sources tell me €500 billion bailout almost complete.
33:17This is shocking, Simon.
33:18What they've had to do there is unpick the code.
33:21Yeah.
33:21What's compelter?
33:22Yeah.
33:23That's what way you want to know.
33:24We're going to have to get CSI on me.
33:27Yeah.
33:27Because he said it's almost compel time.
33:29We're going to have to unscramble this somehow.
33:32A reply, seemingly from Mandelson said, should be announced tonight.
33:36Wow.
33:37That's the inside of information, that.
33:38Yeah.
33:39Hours later, EU finance ministers did indeed approve the bailout.
33:43You can't be a politician and be pinging off emails so that your paedophile mate can make
33:51a quick buck.
33:52The thing that I can't get over is, these people that it's naming in the files, why aren't
33:58they being taken to court?
34:00Why aren't they being questioned?
34:02So there's a lot of people that are getting away with it.
34:04The BBC understands Peter Mandelson's position is that he has not acted in any way criminally
34:09and that he was not motivated by financial gain.
34:11Oh, you're having a bloody laugh at you.
34:14He didn't get financial gain from it, but your friend did.
34:17And your friend provides you with certain things.
34:21Keir Starmer has claimed Lord Mandelson lied to him.
34:24I don't believe this either.
34:26What, you don't believe Starmer has told this?
34:28No.
34:29He portrayed Epstein as someone he barely knew.
34:33This is absolutely absurd.
34:35You knew he knew Epstein.
34:37Sorry, he did know.
34:38Of course he did.
34:39Mandelson is obviously a master, the one who's acted deceitful and pulled the wool over everyone's
34:45eyes.
34:46And when that became clear, and it was not true, I sacked him.
34:54Even when he's emotional, he sounds like a bloody Dalek.
34:57What's wrong with a man?
34:59He's trying to save his neck here, this guy, because he knows.
35:03He's on the bloody way out, Starmer.
35:06But the Prime Minister's problem is he knew the pair were friends after Epstein's conviction
35:10for abusing girls as young as 14.
35:13Oh, John, it makes my back go beautiful.
35:18I mean, it's just so shady.
35:21Depraved, isn't it?
35:22Yeah.
35:22And a handful of Labour MPs now want Starmer to go.
35:26I want Starmer to go.
35:28We all want Starmer to go.
35:30I actually think Starmer is a decent man.
35:34I don't think he's done a very good job.
35:36See, I'm not a Starmer fan, but I don't know if the Prime Minister should go on the back
35:40of this.
35:41I agree with you, but with all the other stuff that's gone on?
35:45Yeah.
35:45But I think you should go for appointing Rachel Reeves as Chancellor, but not for this.
35:51I think he'll go, Lee.
35:53Do you?
35:53I think once he's talked to his backbenchers.
35:56Oh, I bet you a vanilla slice is still here next month.
35:59All right, then.
36:00I'll bet you so.
36:01All right.
36:01In Haul.
36:09Rake up to joint last night, pork joint, with all the crackle oil, holly.
36:13I went to my air fryer and looked in the air fryer and they had some dripping.
36:18I had the lovely bread and dripping.
36:20Best friends Jenny and Lee.
36:22Oh, that's dripping nowadays.
36:24Me?
36:25I don't waste an hour.
36:27So you scoop the bottom of your air fryer and put it on a piece of bread?
36:30Oh, Jenny, that is disgusting.
36:32Only on pork.
36:33Oh, no, it doesn't really matter.
36:36Oh, it does.
36:36That's why it's in the bottom.
36:38You don't touch it.
36:39Yeah, you do.
36:40And I spoon it out.
36:41Oh, my God.
36:42You're making me feel sick.
36:44On Friday, there was some nostalgic news for us to feast on on the BBC.
36:50Would you believe I've had to open another jar of pickles?
36:54Somebody keeps going into the fridge and just eating pickles.
36:57Mm-hmm.
37:00I love this pattern.
37:02I can never get enough of it.
37:04I need to get a tattoo next, don't you?
37:07Oh, no, that would be going too far.
37:09Now, if you're still thinking about what to eat this lunchtime...
37:12I'm always thinking about what to eat.
37:14That's all I think about.
37:15Yeah, I am, because I've got a friend who doesn't fucking feed us.
37:18How about a classic prawn cocktail?
37:20Prawn cocktail.
37:21You love a prawn cocktail.
37:22I do.
37:23I had one yesterday.
37:23Followed by a jam roly-poly, maybe.
37:26Whoa.
37:27Now, you like that sort of thing with custard, don't you?
37:30Oh, I love that.
37:30Yeah, sauce on clay.
37:32Ugh.
37:32Well, research follows shows that more of us are turning to our childhood favourites for
37:37a taste of nostalgia.
37:39Childhood nostalgia?
37:40I think I'd collapse if my mum tried to feed us a prawn at five.
37:44Fair enough, the jam roly-poly, but not the prawns.
37:47Do you know what?
37:47My kids whinge about school dinners, and little do they know, these are the best days of their
37:52lives.
37:52Yeah?
37:53To make sure your evening goes of the sweet, you'll need Cabra Smash.
37:57Oh, this was one of my favourites.
38:00Smash, smash, smash, smash.
38:01They peel potatoes, then they smash them all too big.
38:05Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
38:06The other children would be getting crunchies or Kit Kats, and I'd buy a packet of Smash.
38:11Yes.
38:11I used to live off of that, yeah, the mashed potatoes, yeah.
38:14I told you.
38:14And you whip it up with a bit of water, and I used to put a bit of milk and butter in that
38:18as well.
38:18Yeah, oh, that.
38:19Yeah.
38:20From supermarkets to social media, comfort classics are back, and new businesses are cashing in.
38:25Crispy Pancake!
38:26Oh, my God, remember them!
38:28God, they used to burn my mouth off, because I was so impatient.
38:31Mum would literally say, give it five, they've just come out the oven, and I'd be like,
38:36I ain't got five.
38:37Oh, there's nothing wrong with bringing these back.
38:39Good scran, I reckon.
38:45Sweet times in Grimsby.
38:47You can keep your creme brulees and panna-cottas.
38:50I don't like creme brulee or panna-cotta anyway.
38:52I'm a thingy.
38:53I just like sponge and custard.
38:55People are going back to old-school British values, aren't they?
38:58Like old treats and low-level racism.
39:01The girls that we have working behind us in the bakery are the, you know, ex-dinner ladies,
39:05some of them that actually cooked in the primary school.
39:08We couldn't be trusted to work there.
39:09No!
39:10Good then!
39:11If a lady isn't having a hot flush while she's making my jam roly-poly, it's not going
39:15to be up to scratch.
39:16Well, it won't taste the same, will it?
39:17It's likely that the current trend stems from people's need to have a bit of comfort in
39:24their life.
39:25I'll tell you what.
39:25I'm going to study a degree in consumer psychology, and then I'm going to get wheeled on television
39:34decades later to comment on food items.
39:41Consumer psychologist, Mary.
39:43As for the future, the proof of the pudding will be in the eating, but a classic never
39:48goes out of style.
39:49I still love the food now that I liked as a kid.
39:52To be honest, I haven't really ventured out much, apart from I eat mushrooms now when
39:57I never used to.
39:58Ooh, I love a ginger sponge.
39:59Yeah, any sponge, basically.
40:01Any sponge with custard.
40:05Stun.
40:06Go on, there's some doughnuts in the fridge.
40:07Go and fetch us one.
40:09We'll share one.
40:09We won't be too greedy.
40:10Look at me, you've never seen me move so quick.
40:15In Glasgow.
40:16So I was into my brother the other day to try and buy a new car.
40:19And he's, like, hit me with, you need to trade this heap of shite in.
40:24Uh-huh.
40:24He sold me last year.
40:27Best mates Jake and Callum.
40:29But it was just funny, because when I went in, I was like, oh, he's going to sort me out
40:32big time.
40:33Instantly insults the car he sold me last year.
40:35Yeah, right.
40:36Convincing me to buy a new one.
40:38What's not to say next year I go back and he says, that is now shit.
40:40Absolute pile, yeah.
40:41That is shit now.
40:42Yeah.
40:42In the motor industry, that's shit.
40:44Yeah, you can't be driving around in that.
40:45Yeah.
40:45You can't be my brother and be, you know.
40:47Can you trust a car salesman, full stop?
40:48Can you trust a brother, full stop?
40:50You can't.
40:51I don't have a brother.
40:51I'm not a car salesman, brother.
40:54On Monday night, our favourite daredevil was trying to save us a few quid on Channel 4.
41:00It's a bit warmer, nearly.
41:04Oh, this will be interesting.
41:06We like Guy Martin, don't we?
41:08I can't remember which one he is.
41:09Oh, he's terrific.
41:10We all know it, heating your home has got bloody expensive.
41:15Bloody right.
41:17When you're in London, I put both the thermostats on to like 35 degrees.
41:22Yeah, that's just such a waste.
41:25I walk around my pants.
41:27Yeah, well, darling, that's not good for the environment.
41:30Over the past five or six years, energy bills have gone up 70%.
41:35Tell me about it.
41:37I'll come home from work, there's lights on.
41:40There's no one home.
41:41Lights have been on all day.
41:42Twins are worse for that.
41:43Guy Martin's finding out how to make our homes cheaper to heat.
41:47Ellie, when is Nat going to come round and finish my radio?
41:51I don't know.
41:52I'm not his keeper.
41:54Yes, you are.
41:55Yes, you are.
41:57I don't decide what he does.
41:59Yes, you do.
42:01What I really want to find out is, can we get rid of energy bills altogether?
42:05No.
42:07A house for folk bills.
42:10Oh, I mean, that's everyone's dream, isn't it?
42:12Do you know why I think Guy Martin will be good at this?
42:14Because he's a bit of an engineer boffin.
42:15Yeah.
42:16You know, he's into his motorbikes, into cars, lorries, all that lot.
42:19You can show us how to get wired up to the lamppost.
42:23I am about performance and efficiency.
42:26I like a bit of performance and efficiency as well.
42:29See, Guy Martin's got the right idea, hasn't he?
42:30He's got massive sideburns, so his face is always warm.
42:34Yeah, he's got energy efficient face, hasn't he?
42:36Hmm.
42:37So I spend days with my thermal image here, just looking at stuff, where heat's running about.
42:42That's you.
42:44Anorak, girlfriend.
42:45Anorak.
42:46Strikes me as the kind of guy who eats a lot of bean casseroles.
42:52Air source heat pump, and this is the second one we've added.
42:54So what do they do, then?
42:56Take the air and heat it and put it in your house?
42:58I don't know, Jane.
42:59Oh, OK.
43:00My parents had one on our pool.
43:03Very early one, years ago.
43:05Of course it did, darling.
43:05It was a heat pump.
43:06It must be so hard growing up for you.
43:09Guy Martin's investigations into reducing energy bills
43:12are about to tackle the thing responsible
43:15for up to 20% of an older home's heat loss.
43:20Drafts.
43:22Drafts.
43:22We've got a draft problem at the front door there, hasn't it?
43:24Yes, we need it fixed, please.
43:27So let's...
43:27Let's try and figure out how to do it.
43:30We're going to do a draft test on my house.
43:33Oh, God, just don't come to ours, please.
43:36Who thinks up these programmes with boring men doing boring things?
43:41Guy has called in the expertise of air tester, Gervais Manguana.
43:46Oh, Gervais Manguana.
43:48He sounds posh.
43:50It's the unseen thing, air tightness.
43:52Everybody's got a bit of a head around insulation.
43:54And, in fact, the regs for new builds have systematically got better over the last 20 years.
43:59The air tightness has pretty much stayed the same.
44:00What is air tightness?
44:02Um, it is quite complex to explain in a sentence.
44:06Oh.
44:06You watch it, you'll understand.
44:08OK.
44:09The process starts by closing all the windows.
44:11Closing the windows.
44:12Closing the windows.
44:13It's always a good starting point.
44:14What is that?
44:15And then installing a fan into the front door.
44:18A fan?
44:19Perfectly sealed, so that when it's turned on, it will pressurise the inside of the house.
44:25Right, see how quick it loses the pressure, I suppose.
44:29Oh.
44:30All this to save a couple of quid.
44:32The faster the fan has to spin, the leakier the house must be.
44:37Told ya.
44:38Have you ever seen this done?
44:39Yes.
44:41Well, I suppose you were in the business, weren't you?
44:42Well, not the draft ceiling business, but I was in property.
44:45You're in the new build business.
44:47The result is known as the air permeability value.
44:50Oh.
44:51Permeability.
44:51Revealing where the leaks are requires a smoke gun.
44:56No, it doesn't.
44:58No, it doesn't.
44:59I got a diffuser like that from B&M for about four quid.
45:02There you go.
45:03Then you can see the smoke on the outside.
45:05Look at that.
45:06The smoke's going out.
45:07Rather than heating his home, Guy is heating Lincolnshire.
45:12Oh, really?
45:13He's heating his garden.
45:14Yeah.
45:15Guy's cheap remedy for the back door is a good old-fashioned draft excluder.
45:20Yeah, there you go.
45:21Who'd have thought you've got a draft at the back door?
45:23Get a draft excluder.
45:25Go on.
45:25Shall we put that on?
45:26What are we calling him?
45:28Tony.
45:29Tony.
45:29Yeah.
45:30Tony the draft excluding dog.
45:33Oh, I wouldn't have thought of putting him like that.
45:36Would you?
45:38I would not have.
45:39Yeah.
45:39Fair play, Tony.
45:40You can stay there.
45:41Saving me a few pennies.
45:42As simple as that.
45:45I could have told you that for free without having to watch this shite for an hour.
45:49I would not regard it as entertainment.
45:51No.
45:52I'd regard it as a public information broadcast.
45:54Yeah, same.
45:56So, you know, whether it's drafts or STDs, it's not something you'd dwell on, is it?
46:04So, let's look at it.
46:04It's not something you'd dwell on.
46:06I don't know.
46:06I don't know.
46:07I don't know.
46:07I don't know.
46:07I don't know.
46:08I don't know.
46:08I don't know.
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