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Gogglebox Season 27 Episode 1
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00:00It's on the blink Mary. Literally. It's not igniting. It's not igniting Mary. Turn it off. Turn it on again. Turn the machine off. At the wall. Wait a few seconds. Turn it back on again. What a time to run for the boiler to get on the blink Mary. The middle of winter. With snow forecast.
00:25Oh, here we go. What is that? Oh, shut up. This doesn't look real. I don't think it is. A flamboisier. What's a flamboisier? Oh, I knew it. No. This looks dodgy, doesn't it? It does. Why is it dodgy? This is going to go down so badly. None of us learned, do we?
00:55Oh, I hate you. Must remember that bellend. This is what everyone came for. The lamp bells were ringing with me, Mary. At least the nipples are covered. Yeah. It's half the battle.
01:08In the week we said a fond farewell to snooker legend John Virgo, we enjoyed lots of great telly. They were wheeling out the big brains on Channel 4. Please welcome Susie Dent.
01:21Susie. Lovely to see you. Of course the woman from Countdown's in this. She is really smart to be fair. Yeah, she is. But although, at the same time, doesn't she just look up dictionary like...
01:36That's right. All she does is flip through the digital. Yeah. And she goes, right, yeah, that is a real word.
01:46We can do that. I can do that, yeah.
01:49Will Smith found himself in a hole on Disney+.
01:52The goal of the expedition is to find new species, not just for the sake of finding new species. You know, we're not collecting stamps here.
02:01His name's Prof.
02:03That means he's a professor.
02:06There's a joke at my work that I'm a professor.
02:09Because one time I filled out a form and I put Prof instead of Miss.
02:13And Olivia Atwood was showing us how to get filthy rich on ITV2.
02:23It's in the millions.
02:24Wow.
02:25I don't know why you don't do any of this.
02:27You'd make a fortune.
02:29You've always said that.
02:30You could do a chat line.
02:32I'd be good at it.
02:33I know, you said...
02:34Hey, Lee, look, I've already got...
02:35I'll show you.
02:36Ready?
02:37What?
02:40You're taking your clothes off.
02:41What?
02:42Hello, sir.
02:44Yes.
02:45What would you like to do?
02:47Oh, you'd like me to take my dress off?
02:50Yes, OK.
02:53Oh, the zip's got a bit stuck.
02:56Hold on a moment.
02:59Right, the dress is coming off now, sir.
03:04Isn't it good?
03:06Oh, I've got my finger stuck.
03:07LAUGHTER
03:09In Leeds.
03:19Where did it all go wrong for you on Saturday night?
03:21Cos you seemed all right at the brunch.
03:22I think it was when I had them two spicy margaritas back to back.
03:25One spicy margarita after the other.
03:27I just love a spicy margs.
03:29Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
03:31Well, you went absolutely mad with me.
03:33I bought you a pink gin and tonic and you were going,
03:35no, you know I wanted spicy margarita.
03:37I wanted spicy margarita.
03:38Why have you bought me pink gin?
03:40Yeah.
03:41And so I necked that gin that you bought me
03:42and then trotted off to the bar and bought myself two spicy margaritas.
03:46Not one, but two spicy margaritas.
03:48Yeah.
03:49Just to spite me.
03:50Yeah.
03:50And then I drunk one spicy margarita after the other.
03:54Nectum.
03:56And I actually think that after that point of necking those spicy margaritas,
04:01that's when the night becomes blurry.
04:02That's when it spiralled.
04:04That's when it spiralled, yeah.
04:05You rang me at two in the morning and I thought, piss off.
04:09On Thursday night, the latest bunch of business hopefuls
04:13were suited and booted and back in the firing line on BBC One.
04:17I tell you what, I watched episode one last week, shit show.
04:20I wish I was actually clever enough or had the brain to invent something
04:25that they would love, but that would just never happen.
04:29You're fine.
04:32We had to do a business plan when we took the pub.
04:35Oh, did you?
04:35Yeah.
04:36Yeah, well, I never did it.
04:38I didn't.
04:39I wouldn't know how to start a business plan.
04:40Where would you start?
04:41How would you start a business plan?
04:42You write it down.
04:44Oh, I know that, you silly bastard.
04:45In the programme, Large Sugar had a playful way of introducing the next task.
04:53Are you sitting comfortably?
04:55We should begin.
04:58Oh, it's Tony.
04:59Not a Large Sugar Tony.
05:01For your next task, I want you to create a story for four to six-year-olds.
05:07Oh, that is such a fun task.
05:10You'll need to produce a book and an audio version to go with it.
05:14OK, an audio version, I think, would be tricky, because there's no visual aid there.
05:18No, no, that's the audio bit.
05:21This is a good one.
05:22Surely you can't go far wrong with this, writing a kid's book and recording it.
05:26Exactly.
05:26I've got a story idea, I think.
05:28Next for the boys.
05:30So, mine is Geno Giraffe.
05:31He's on a spaceship, and his whole end goal is basically to have a poo.
05:34Oh, great.
05:36To have a poo?
05:37Correct.
05:37No, get him out.
05:39Nobody wants to talk about excrement.
05:40This boy called Astro, five years old, goes into space, and essentially, he's trying to find the perfect toilet.
05:45Why is he all based around toilets?
05:48He's trying to find the perfect toilet in space.
05:51Which mum and dad's going to enjoy reading that story today, child?
05:55One, two, three, poo.
05:56Oh, my God.
06:01This is only going to go one way.
06:03Down the toilet.
06:04Yeah.
06:05Next chapter for Marcus's boys.
06:07Please, Rue, can I do a poo in your loo?
06:10Oh, my days.
06:11Do you want to do for Doodoo Land?
06:13Dun, dun.
06:15No.
06:16Do you guys like it?
06:17Don't do that.
06:18You're taking the mix.
06:20Is this for real?
06:21Yeah.
06:21Let's go.
06:21Pack and stuff.
06:22Okay.
06:24Dun, dun.
06:25Is this seriously what The Apprentice has come to?
06:33Central London.
06:35Are we excited?
06:36Yeah!
06:38No.
06:38Oh, my God.
06:39What are the kids going to say?
06:40Oh, dearie me.
06:41Right, this is your audience, isn't it?
06:42If the kids like it, you've got some testimonials.
06:45He is not scared of any planet in the universe, except for one.
06:51Oh, Jane.
06:52Look at the faces.
06:53Oh, the bard.
06:54Not a one is laughing.
07:05But what did people think of the adventure that Astro went on?
07:07Shut it, isn't that funny.
07:12It isn't that funny.
07:14Do you know what?
07:15Kids are brutal.
07:16They are.
07:16Do you want to hear it one more time?
07:19No.
07:19No.
07:20No?
07:22Once was enough.
07:24I can't like a single cigarette.
07:25I prefer the humour of a PG Woodhouse.
07:275 p.m.
07:32Arriving some of Britain's biggest booksellers.
07:35Oh, no.
07:36Oh, God.
07:37This will be so cringy.
07:38Oh, can't wait.
07:39We are here to present to you Astro and the Three Aliens.
07:44What the fuck?
07:45He's trying to shit on his head.
07:48Do-do land.
07:50Dun-dun.
07:52Oh, my God.
07:55That's exactly how it's gone now.
07:59They've actually narrated how their book's gone now.
08:05In Hull.
08:06Are you glad to be back?
08:07Does it look as though I'm glad to be back?
08:09Did you enjoy it?
08:10Yes, I did.
08:11Oh, good.
08:11I enjoyed my break.
08:13Where did I go?
08:14Best friends Jenny and Lee.
08:17Candy.
08:18No, not candy.
08:19What is it?
08:21Er, India.
08:24Ah!
08:24Yeah.
08:27Go.
08:28Oh, go away.
08:29Oh, yeah, go away.
08:31Yeah.
08:32Go away.
08:34I'm surprised.
08:34I'm surprised you won't ask me where did I get it from.
08:37Where did you get it from?
08:37Fucking India.
08:38Where do you think?
08:39Manchester.
08:40Oh, yeah.
08:40On Sunday night, we settled in for a light-hearted game of tactics and trivia on ITV.
08:48The floor.
08:49We can't have an alcoholic drink on a Sunday.
08:53It's only one.
08:56You better drink it.
08:57Famous last word.
08:59I'm Rob Brydon and this is the floor.
09:02Hello, Rob.
09:03He looks like a koala.
09:04Let's bring it up, players.
09:07Oh, they're all happy to be there.
09:09Oh, my Lord.
09:12Oh, I think I quite like this already.
09:14Have they all got a box?
09:15They've all got their own box.
09:16So, you choose your subject depending on your specialism.
09:21So, like, you might choose, I don't know, Aston Villa.
09:23OK.
09:24Or pop music.
09:25Yes.
09:26And what would your specialist subject be?
09:28Food.
09:28Absolutely.
09:30Hello, everybody.
09:3249 of you remain.
09:3549.
09:36And you're all still in with a chance of winning that huge jackpot of £50,000.
09:44Ooh.
09:44It's not fun for a Sunday afternoon, Mark.
09:46No.
09:47Let's light up the floor.
09:50What a strapline.
09:52Here we go.
09:53Any second.
09:54Now.
09:55Oh.
09:56Slay.
09:56Hello.
09:58Slay.
09:59Clacky.
10:00What does that mean?
10:02Slay bells?
10:03It must mean S-L-A-Y.
10:06He's going to kill the contestants, his rivals.
10:09Slay them.
10:10Now, then, George, your category is US states.
10:13Ooh.
10:14Ooh.
10:15I've been in a few states, but not in many US states.
10:19So there's four.
10:20Four states.
10:22I think there's at least 60.
10:23America.
10:24America.
10:24New York.
10:25You're going to be duelling on a category belonging to one of your neighbours.
10:29America, New York, and then there's another two.
10:31What is on the...
10:32You're lying to me.
10:33I'm not.
10:34But George wasn't playing his own category.
10:36He was about to play Aisha's category.
10:39The category is famous hair.
10:42I don't think Dad would get very far with this one.
10:44No.
10:45No.
10:46No.
10:50Claudia Winkleman.
10:52Claudia Winkleman.
10:52Long, black, and shiny.
10:54No dandruff.
10:57Mr. T.
10:58BA Barakas.
10:59I ain't get no playing fool.
11:00Mr. T.
11:01I've woke up like Mr. T and all the hair shrinks.
11:04We've all woken up like Mr. T.
11:06Well, not all of us, but us people of colour.
11:09Harry Winkleman.
11:11No.
11:11No.
11:12Harry Winkleman.
11:15Prince Harry.
11:16Prince Harry.
11:18I mean, they've done him wonders there because they've clearly used an old picture.
11:22Yeah.
11:23It's like orange smoke on top now.
11:27Oh, no.
11:28Bob Rob.
11:28Get out of my...
11:29Get out of my pub.
11:30EastEnders.
11:31Dolly Parton.
11:33Oh, Dolly Parton!
11:35I thought it was Peggy from EastEnders.
11:40Oh, I know.
11:41What's her name?
11:42What's her name?
11:43Have you seen the beard?
11:45Oh, no.
11:46Jason Momoa.
11:48No, I didn't know that one.
11:49I was going to be like, Jesus?
11:51No, I was going to say the one that's the best.
11:56Posh Spice.
11:58No, that's not Posh Spice.
11:59It's Baby Spice.
12:01Mel B?
12:02Nope.
12:03Diana Ross.
12:04Mel B.
12:06Mel B!
12:07Oh!
12:08Oh!
12:08I told you, Bob.
12:10I'm sorry.
12:11They're exaggerating her hair a little bit there.
12:12Come on.
12:13No, she doesn't look like that.
12:16Prince.
12:17Prince?
12:18That's a woman.
12:20I was going to say Prince William's woman.
12:25Prince William's woman.
12:27In this day and age, Amani.
12:30In this day and age, she's only his woman.
12:34No, I forgot her name.
12:35She's only his woman.
12:37This is what I like to call an ironing show.
12:39You know, if you're doing a bit of ironing, you bang this on, don't you?
12:42Yeah, it used to be the EastEnders omnibus.
12:44Yeah.
12:45But now you can just bang the floor on.
12:47Yeah.
12:47Get the kids' uniforms washed out.
12:49Yeah.
12:49Done.
12:51It's not going to put you off.
12:52No.
12:52But it's nice to have one in the background.
13:02In Manchester.
13:04Me mate's getting married on Friday and I'm really looking forward to it.
13:07But me mate's a vegetarian.
13:09So that means vegetarian food at the wedding.
13:12No, surely he'll do some normal options.
13:15It's veggie food.
13:17The Malones.
13:18The thing is, I like vegetables and that.
13:20I've got no issue with vegetables.
13:23But I do like a good, like, bit of chicken or something.
13:28Eh, Sean?
13:29You never know.
13:30You might go.
13:31The food might be that good.
13:32You might become a vegetarian.
13:35Ah, lad.
13:36I can't see that.
13:37Well, yeah, sure.
13:37You can be the one that turns up.
13:38Who's the guest that's turned up with a wedding present at a packet of pork pies and sausage
13:42rolls?
13:43They're all going to be around it, aren't they?
13:45Don't give him ideas.
13:46This week, Disney Plus was pushing a Hollywood A-lister to the limit on an epic new adventure
13:53series.
13:54Hold a pole with Will Smith-Shirl.
13:56He's going from the North Pole right down to the South Pole.
13:59He's walking, is he?
14:01Walking?
14:02Where is the North Pole?
14:05I don't think you can live there.
14:07You can.
14:08I can't.
14:08Santa lives there.
14:10Yeah, just Santa.
14:11No one else.
14:15I don't think I'd want to go pole to pole with Will Smith or toe to toe.
14:19You know, Chris Rock found that out, didn't he?
14:21Did you ever have one of those friends?
14:23Why is he that close to the camera like that?
14:26That, like, gets you in trouble all the time?
14:29Well, I was that friend.
14:30Yeah.
14:33How does he know?
14:34I remember my very first snake bite.
14:37You never forget your first.
14:38What do you mean?
14:38How many snake bites have you had in your life?
14:41Has he been in the shop?
14:42No, darling.
14:44Over the last 25 years, I've had 27 snake bites.
14:4727?
14:4724 broken bones, 400 stitches.
14:50Oh, my God.
14:51Two stingray stings and one near fatal scorpion sting in the Amazon.
14:55Bloody hell, that's like mouse and roll it is.
14:58Have a doll, then.
14:59I hope you've got good health insurance.
15:02Brian has us in the middle of the Amazon.
15:06And you want to go there?
15:08Yeah, not necessarily with Brian, though.
15:10No.
15:11Now, Brian thinks there are creatures here that could hold the secret to saving millions of lives.
15:18That's worth looking for.
15:19Oh, wow.
15:20Okay, let them stay there.
15:21No, stay there with your secret.
15:23We are arriving.
15:24The main goal of our installation is just there.
15:27Oh, what's the main?
15:28But today we are not going up.
15:30We are going down.
15:31We're going up.
15:32No, I couldn't be going down.
15:33I'm terrible.
15:34When I got stuck behind that woman in the Great Pyramid that year, I'll never forget it.
15:38Forever the Lost Tires, aka where people don't come back out.
15:50You know what that means in Spanish?
15:52What?
15:53The ball.
15:53We are going down about 20-storey building.
15:5820-storey building?
16:00Isn't there a lift?
16:01See you in the bottom.
16:02You go first.
16:04Set some lights up and a little fire.
16:07Imagine if down there there's a cure for cancer.
16:10He's shooting for the stars.
16:12Fair play to him.
16:12Oh, I'd go.
16:13I'd go.
16:14There's a cure for cancer.
16:15Oh, please let there be.
16:16I'll call my help.
16:17It wasn't long before Brian and Will's poking about would unearth some creepy crawlies.
16:23Oh, hey.
16:24Oh, that's a nice one.
16:26Oh, wow.
16:28Oh, my God.
16:30What the fuck?
16:32Sorry, Vin.
16:33Oh, my God.
16:34I'm not looking.
16:37I'm not looking.
16:38We're going to need a bigger jug.
16:39Here we go.
16:41Oh, my God.
16:43It's the size of a hand.
16:44That's yowd.
16:45I'll tell you what, that's got airier legs than me.
16:48Yeah, that thing is insane looking.
16:50Oh, my gosh.
16:51Could you imagine that in your bedroom?
16:54So what do they do now?
16:55They've got the animals.
16:57So how do they extract the venom?
16:59Because them animals aren't going to give it freely, are they?
17:02So we're going to milk the biggest of the tarantulas.
17:05Milking tarantulas.
17:07Come on.
17:09How long does the spider stay knocked out?
17:11I try to do as minimal as possible.
17:13So it's usually out for about five minutes, ten minutes at most.
17:16So you should hurry up.
17:17Spider sedation?
17:19Well, I never.
17:20It takes three of us just to wrangle the animal.
17:24Uh-oh.
17:24Gah!
17:25Ay-yi-yi-yi!
17:26What's this?
17:27Oh, it's just so big.
17:29All right, so first Amalia is going to pop open one of the fangs.
17:33Oh, my God.
17:34Hey!
17:35Whoa.
17:36Fucking hell!
17:38Stay to that!
17:39Oh, Jesus!
17:41Getting any venom?
17:43Oh, nice big drop.
17:44Look at that.
17:44Oh, there it comes!
17:45Look at that!
17:46Ah!
17:46It's milking.
17:48There we go.
17:49Oh, that was a good amount.
17:50Oh, my God.
17:51Look at that.
17:52The spider's waking up rapidly.
17:54Oh.
17:54Oh, it's waking up now, Lee.
17:56Oh, shit.
17:57Rapidly?
17:58Fucking hell.
17:58Knock him out, man.
18:00Get some gas on him.
18:01Your first venom extraction.
18:03Look at all that.
18:05Wild drink, sir.
18:07We're going to do some shots down here, I know what.
18:11In the room.
18:13When I go food shopping, because I go food shopping now.
18:16Only done it twice.
18:17You must be starving.
18:18In the whole six months I've lived there.
18:21Best friends, Abby and Georgia.
18:23Well, that's when I done that week of Hello Fresh, didn't I?
18:26Ah.
18:27Never do that again.
18:29Hated it.
18:30It was the worst week of my life.
18:33There was tomato puree up me walls.
18:36I hated every second.
18:39I'm being devious.
18:40I put a complaint in.
18:42Didra, please send a chef with this next time.
18:47On Sunday night, ITV2 was showing us new ways to make a living.
18:52Right, get your notepad out.
18:53What?
18:54Olivia Atwood.
18:55How to get filthy rich.
18:56Oh, I'd love to be filthy rich, wouldn't you?
18:58It's all right, I would.
19:00Oh.
19:03This gives you an insight into how people are making money in questionable ways.
19:07Yeah.
19:08It's people that make money out of, like, OnlyFans and stuff.
19:12Oh.
19:12Ooh.
19:13Hey, I don't want Nat watching this getting ideas.
19:16Seeing what else there is available on the internet for money.
19:20Yeah, well, do you know what?
19:21I actually did once buy some saucy underwear and he got annoyed with me and says, what have you bought that for?
19:26Oh, my God.
19:27Oh, my God.
19:28Visibility on social media of the foot fetish has spiked in recent years.
19:32Oh, foot fetish.
19:35I don't want to look at my own, let alone someone else's dusty, crusty feet.
19:38Does that turn you on?
19:39No, not really.
19:41Is it so parcel?
19:43With Pornhub reporting a 58% increase of interest from the under 35s.
19:49Don't include me in that.
19:51Yep.
19:51It's your generation.
19:52Look, it's your splat bang in the middle.
19:54My generation, we need to be doing better.
19:56I think everyone's got a foot fetish on a sleigh.
19:59No, no, no.
20:01One guy I found online stumbled upon the earning power of his feet while serving in the armed forces.
20:07What?
20:08You're joking.
20:09Surely you can't do that in the armed forces.
20:11Why are you so attractive about this size 11 stinky foot?
20:14Oh, Lord, move that foot away.
20:17He has been the only person thus far to be kicked out of the Navy for creating adult content.
20:23Why can't he do that and serve the nation?
20:26I like many in uniform, though, Lee.
20:31Oh.
20:31I do, honestly.
20:33Is that why you used to see the lollipop man?
20:36Yeah.
20:37What he's told me, which I don't really understand, but he's doing a sock drop.
20:43A what?
20:43Sock drop.
20:45Now, this isn't the first time I've heard about this.
20:47There's a post that says, Millennium Bridge, 10.30am today.
20:51I am leaving a pair of dirty socks to come and get them.
20:54This is insane.
20:57I've missed my calling.
20:58The world has gone mad.
20:59I mean, my sock drawer needs a good sorting out.
21:03To be fair, if I could make a bit of money from selling my old socks, I've been my holy socks.
21:08Maybe I should be selling them.
21:09We're in central London today, and as requested, so many of you want me to leave a sock on Millennium Bridge.
21:16Guys, you might see me on this bridge, because I was in London the other day.
21:19If I turn up, it's just coincidence, okay?
21:21Yeah, right, London.
21:22So I've actually got this pair that I've been wearing for four days straight.
21:25Oh, four days?
21:27Christ, they'll be walking around on their own.
21:29He suffers for his art, doesn't he?
21:31Clearly.
21:33He's tying them on.
21:34Right, there you go.
21:36Aren't we supposed to get a pair?
21:38Posted.
21:40Well, he's learned something in the Navy Nuts.
21:42He's learned how to tie a knot.
21:44So what do the people that have picked up the socks in the past look like?
21:48I want to see who's getting those socks.
21:49Yeah, I want to see.
21:50That's what I want to know.
21:51Name and shame.
21:53As we're leaving the bridge, Zach spots someone he recognises.
21:57No!
21:59He recognises somebody.
22:00I smile at my face.
22:02Where?
22:02Where?
22:03Running for the sock now.
22:07That's one of his fans, Mary.
22:09How long's that been?
22:09What, 30 seconds?
22:11Minute?
22:12Crocey's on his street, are we?
22:13Shall we meet him?
22:14Well, I mean, I would, obviously, but he's your fan, not mine.
22:17This is crazy.
22:19This is actually crazy.
22:21Where have they gone?
22:23Someone got him before him.
22:24Somebody's already got him!
22:30Oh, look, it's gutted.
22:32So, where's the socks?
22:34Is he coming?
22:35Where are they?
22:36Now we're actually meeting a foot fetishist, aren't we?
22:39I think I've gone into a sort of nightmare or something.
22:42Well, better luck next time.
22:45Nice to meet you.
22:47Thanks for talking to me.
22:48I'll let you say your goodbyes.
22:50I'll give you a hug.
22:51Wait, really?
22:51I'll be nice.
22:52Oh, are they hugging?
22:53They're hugging Daniella.
22:55Right.
22:55Oh!
22:57That'll be better than the socks.
22:59Yeah.
23:00What could I show people?
23:01What's the matter?
23:05Well, I don't want to play, because I'm thinking, it's going to be a stinky underwear.
23:10That's what they want, Jane.
23:12Well, I could do a bra, couldn't I?
23:14Yeah, way too much already.
23:15I am so in to sell socks.
23:21It's not happening, darling.
23:24And I'm going and checking every sock in the drawer upstairs before we go to bed tonight.
23:30There's going to be a sock register.
23:30And there's going to be a sock register upstairs.
23:33And if any socks have gone next week, I'll know where they are.
23:45In the Cotswolds.
23:47I almost did dry January.
23:49What do you mean you almost did?
23:50Well, I did.
23:50I did that week.
23:52The week where you did three days.
23:54I did four.
23:55Andrew and his husband, Alfie.
23:57I quite liked it for my ten days.
24:00There's probably 30 non-alcoholic beers still left in the fridge.
24:03Yeah, I drank four.
24:05Okay, so it wasn't that.
24:05It was more of a damn January.
24:07It was a total damn January.
24:08Okay.
24:09On Monday night, there were more police in pursuit on Channel 5.
24:13Can I just chill?
24:14Oh, I couldn't possibly.
24:16Thank you so much.
24:18Come on, off you come.
24:19Good girl.
24:20Yay!
24:20What's this for me?
24:22Right, we're going to watch this so that you know what not to do on the motorway now that you're learning to drive.
24:27It's fine, Jay goes so slowly.
24:30Cheers, Captain Obvious.
24:32When it comes to bad driving, dash camp never lies.
24:37There are some shite drivers out there, aren't there?
24:39Shite.
24:40Down!
24:40Locking up the most dangerous people on our roads are the motorway cops.
24:46I'd love to see them catch a few.
24:48I haven't been on the motorway for ages.
24:50Since my mother died, there's no reason to go anywhere.
24:52Mum would make a good motorway cop.
24:54She can make a one-point-full turbo mocker.
24:57Do things that the Stig could only dream of.
25:00Yeah.
25:00I like driving on the motorway, but I hate the lane hoggers, man.
25:06Move out the way!
25:08Shae doesn't like the lane hoggers, Andre.
25:10She is a lane hogger.
25:11She's the number one lane hogger.
25:14Oh, my days, Shae.
25:15That's worse than me.
25:17That is worse than me.
25:18Try, Shae.
25:18Your dad goes all over the place.
25:20You're like, Andre, just stay in one lane, man.
25:22Shae sits there, and his little mini.
25:28Umbusad Police, what's the emergency?
25:30Umbusad, that's us.
25:31It's the refinery service station.
25:33I've got a theft of fuel just literally left the site now.
25:36A theft of fuel, you know what that means, don't you, Shae?
25:38They've nicked some fuel.
25:39That's right.
25:40I've done that.
25:40Have you driven away?
25:41Yeah.
25:41Without paying?
25:42Yeah.
25:43Accidentally, mind-
25:44Of course!
25:44All right, sir.
25:45Mark, stop it!
25:46He looks stoned, if he's safe.
25:48Oh, he's stoned on the drugs.
25:50He's on drugs, is he, love?
25:52Oh, that's even worse than it.
25:53Mills made off with fuel.
25:55The Bentley Continental in black.
25:58A Bentley Continental!
26:00Oh, what?
26:01What's that?
26:02The Bentley?
26:02You can't pay for your fuel?
26:04The last reliable site was at Immingham Dock.
26:07Tango November 1-1.
26:08We're blue lighting across there now.
26:10We're blue lighting.
26:10We're blue lighting.
26:13He's had hallucinations.
26:14He believes he's the second coming of Jesus.
26:16He believes he's the second coming of Jesus.
26:19Oh, Jesus.
26:20He's off his trolley then.
26:22To be fair, I would imagine that the second coming of Jesus would drive round in a Bentley Continental.
26:27Yeah.
26:29Two more options in the vehicle.
26:30He's got a couple of pals in car and all.
26:33So it's Jesus and the disciples.
26:36It is failing to stop.
26:37Well, in excess of 7-0 in a 3-0.
26:42Oh, he's in 17 or 30.
26:44Yeah, that's way worse than I was.
26:46This is marvellous, this programme.
26:48Yeah.
26:51There's the car.
26:52The wagons have got him.
26:53Eight CVs have got him.
26:54Box him in.
26:55Box him in.
26:55Box him in.
26:55Stop.
27:00Stop.
27:00Yeah, stop, you silly bastards.
27:03Contact made with subject vehicle.
27:04Contact made.
27:06Vehicle is continuing.
27:08No, he's gone away.
27:10The lorries.
27:11Oh, my days.
27:12You stupid wagons.
27:14Fucking wagon drivers.
27:18He's going to go straight through.
27:19It just went through the barrier.
27:24It's going right, right, right.
27:26Right, right, right.
27:28Oh, my God.
27:30This is absolutely wild.
27:31This is crazy.
27:32It's like a James Bond film.
27:34Isn't it?
27:35Hang on November 1-1.
27:36Other units are now on site.
27:38You've got back up.
27:40OK, good, good.
27:40Finally.
27:41Where's the helicopter man?
27:46Get a break.
27:48This is fast.
27:48This is so cool.
27:51It's free for all the wrong reasons.
27:53This must be the best car chaser.
27:55They're fantastic, isn't it?
27:59They got him.
27:59They got him.
28:00That's it.
28:00They got him.
28:01Hotel Zulu 1-0.
28:03Subjectly chained.
28:04He's been dogged.
28:05He's been dogged.
28:06He's been dogged.
28:08He's been dogged.
28:09He's been dogged.
28:10Get him dogged.
28:11Lay on your front.
28:12Lay on your front.
28:13Do me now.
28:14Do not move.
28:15I don't think he can move, can he?
28:17There's not Joss.
28:17He's been moving.
28:18Where's he off to?
28:20Right, mate.
28:21You're under arrest on suspicion of failing to stop for police, dangerous driving and abduct slash
28:26kidnap.
28:26A suspicion of failing to stop for the police.
28:29There's no suspicion in that.
28:30Yeah, man.
28:30He's gone for 40 miles at 100 miles an hour.
28:33Charge him for that one now.
28:35Do you understand?
28:36I was scared.
28:37Sorry?
28:37I was scared.
28:38I do nothing to know what.
28:40Oh, I can't.
28:41Fucking hell.
28:43He's wrecked that car.
28:44I mean, your mama's come back with some dents and scratches, but never like that.
28:48In Leeds.
28:55Izzy, is that my jaw or have I got jowls?
28:58Jowls, definitely.
29:00Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
29:02I'm getting jowls.
29:03Yeah.
29:04Seriously?
29:06Like, you're being mean or you're being honest?
29:09Let me feel.
29:12It's jowls.
29:14Fuck's sake.
29:19Gobble, gobble.
29:20On Friday, an exciting expose was making the headlines on the BBC.
29:26Since we put the news on, any chance we could watch it?
29:28Because it would be nice.
29:29I know I do love looking at doggies.
29:31Well, thanks for the kiss.
29:35Do you have to keep fucking slapping?
29:44Well, get me some bread, then.
29:45Complaints about rogue locksmiths have risen by two-thirds over the last four years.
29:51Good heavens.
29:52Good grief.
29:52I had no idea that was a thing.
29:54No one needs to die.
29:55Oh, dear.
29:56What are they doing?
29:57Using a tactic known as bait and switch, where companies offer an affordable call-out fee,
30:03but hike up the price when they get there.
30:05Oh, that's when you're the...
30:06Oh, that's a Mortis five-leaver.
30:11Yeah, five-leaver.
30:13Basically, every plumber and locksmith and builder and roofer in London is a crook.
30:19No.
30:20No, not all crooks.
30:22Emergency call-out fee, £45.
30:23Finn and Maria were locked inside when they called 24-7 Locksmiths UK.
30:29How do you lock inside?
30:30You got locked between two doors one time.
30:32I did.
30:32I got locked in the book.
30:34You were there all day until I got back from work.
30:36They say they were quoted £45 over the phone.
30:40Well, that's where they get you.
30:41Cheap call-out fee.
30:42Expensive repair bills.
30:44Yes.
30:44Just make in store fault.
30:46We'll have to replace the door here, Lord.
30:47Yeah, really, we're going to have to knock down this house, really, to get you in.
30:51I stopped my head out the window and said, do not break the lock.
30:53We can, you know, we can definitely fix this without doing that.
30:56We're not going to have to replace it.
30:57She don't need to do that.
30:58And he said, no, I need to do it.
30:59Snap.
31:00Lock was broken.
31:00He was in.
31:01I love how she's laughing at the situation.
31:03Yeah, because she's thinking that's definitely not how it panned there.
31:05Yeah, that's not how it panned there at all.
31:07You've said to me it doesn't need doing, he said it needs doing, and I've said let's do it.
31:13£1,250 altogether.
31:15What?
31:17How much?
31:18How'd you get to that much?
31:19The call-out fee was 45.
31:22Thieving, robbing, bastards.
31:24We wanted to investigate.
31:26Yeah.
31:27Come on, let's set him up.
31:28So we secured a property and rigged it with secret cameras.
31:32Oh, I love this.
31:33A sting.
31:34Is this the news?
31:35Yes.
31:36It's quite a long news, isn't it?
31:38Yeah.
31:38But first, we wanted to prove that this lock didn't need to be drilled.
31:43We should be able to bypass this lock in seconds.
31:46No damage.
31:47By bypass, he means break in.
31:49Yeah.
31:49And they're not going to show us how to do that, because that would be a bad idea.
31:55Is that how quick it is?
31:57Then we made the call.
31:59We charge £40 for a simple door opening.
32:01Well, and you'd snap their hand off at that, wouldn't you?
32:03£40.
32:04Sounds quite reasonable.
32:05Yeah.
32:05So to open it, I'm going to have to drill the lock.
32:07Oh.
32:09Here we go.
32:10You barely even examined it, mate.
32:11The price of drilling is £125 plus VAT.
32:16No, that's naughty.
32:17But at this point, when he's there going, price of this, £125, I'd say, put your tool back in your van tiger and fuck off.
32:25Butchery at its finest.
32:26So there you go.
32:30That's the lock ruined now.
32:31314 plus VAT.
32:33376.
32:34376.
32:35Oh, my God.
32:36£376.
32:37Where's Dominic Littlewood when you need him?
32:40You know, he needs to be out there on the beat.
32:42Yeah.
32:42Do we go now?
32:43Yeah.
32:44Yeah.
32:44I love wrongans being caught.
32:50Hello.
32:50We're the BBC.
32:52Why are you charging so much for this job?
32:54Why is it costing so much?
32:55Because I'm a con, man.
32:57I know.
32:58Next question.
33:00We email the company for further comment.
33:02They've yet to respond and their website has been taken down.
33:05Oh, there's a surprise.
33:07Yeah, but it's probably been set up under another name.
33:09Yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:10You know, at least Dominic Littlewood would get stuck in.
33:12Oh, he'd have booted, he'd have fucking kicked the wing wearer off or something.
33:15At least.
33:25In Blackpool.
33:26Hey, Soph.
33:27Treating myself to a new suit.
33:29Oh, very nice.
33:30Oh, yeah.
33:31It was awkward, actually, because we were just chatting to the lads that were there,
33:36you know, whose shop it is, Chris's shop.
33:38Pete and his little sister, Sophie.
33:41Because we were chatting and that, I didn't want to get changed in the dressing room because
33:44I thought it were rude.
33:46So, I just got changed in the shop.
33:49And next thing, this dude's walked in and all I've got on is my undies and a smile.
33:54I don't think that's right.
33:56Well, nobody seemed to mind.
33:57That was the thing.
33:58But it just felt a bit awkward.
34:00Are you sure those men even work there?
34:03Well, I would hope so.
34:04You know, isn't it a curtain as well?
34:09So, even if you were chatting, you could just chat through the curtain.
34:12I know, but I like to make eye contact when I'm speaking to people.
34:15I bet the people that worked in the shop, when you dropped your trousers, they were thinking...
34:20What a lad.
34:21What is happening?
34:23What?
34:24This week, it was the return of the raciest Regency drama on Netflix.
34:29Oh, I'm buzzing Bridgerton's back on.
34:32I've been listening to mucky books lately.
34:34Haven't you, you dirty bitch?
34:39See if I can get some naughty bits.
34:42Is that what you're watching it for?
34:43No, it's educational.
34:44Is everything well, Mum?
34:49Oh, everything is perfect.
34:51It shouldn't be perfect.
34:52It would be perfect if...
34:53Where is Benedict?
34:54Who's Benedict?
34:55That's her other son.
34:57Before you guess where he is, probably shag him.
34:59Liar.
35:00Yeah.
35:03Oh.
35:04That butler knows exactly where Benedict is.
35:07Exactly.
35:08Yeah.
35:11Please, fetch my carriage.
35:12Uh-oh.
35:13Is she going to go and find him?
35:19That is a mother with purpose.
35:21Ooh, she's on a mission there, isn't she?
35:22I've seen that walk before.
35:24From your mother?
35:25Yeah.
35:26Move!
35:28Here we go!
35:29What's she going to find?
35:32Oh, my gosh!
35:34What she walked in on?
35:36I don't know.
35:36It's a shittle!
35:40Benedict Bridgerton!
35:42Oh, my word!
35:42Woo!
35:43Oh-ho!
35:45It was best she just stayed out of the room.
35:47Yeah, what was she expecting?
35:48Draw back the curtains.
35:49It is time for my son to wake up.
35:50No, no, no, please, please do not.
35:52Oh.
35:53Oh, that's...
35:54Oh, there's another one.
35:58He's had an orgy in there, she'll.
35:59Fancy being caught by your mother like that?
36:01There's always a black sheep in the family, isn't there?
36:10Who's that, Jane?
36:11I don't know.
36:12I've not seen this one before.
36:13Who is she?
36:13What are you asking me for, like I don't know?
36:16I can do this.
36:17I can do this.
36:18She looks as if she's nervous to go in there.
36:20I don't think she's used to this sort of thing.
36:22She's not giving swanky Bridgerton, do you, is she?
36:24There is a large group arriving.
36:27Just conceal yourself behind her.
36:29You'll just be out by midnight.
36:31Oh, Cinderella!
36:32Look at Cinderella!
36:34Oh, God!
36:35Out by midnight.
36:36Was she going to leave her gloss slip off?
36:39Good evening, ladies.
36:42Here he is.
36:43Benedict.
36:44The man of the hour, old Benedict.
36:45Oh, he's such a ladies' man.
36:47Mr. Bridgerton, Mr. Bridgerton, over here.
36:53Hello.
36:54Oh, look who he's spotted.
36:56The unknown.
36:57That glance across a crowded room, Michelle.
37:00I know.
37:01Pardon me, young lady.
37:02Could I trouble you for the next dance?
37:05Oh, no, Mr. Chance, Benedict.
37:07Oh, that is unlucky.
37:10Oh, he's in like Flynn.
37:12Never seen him move so quick in my life.
37:14Forgive me for interrupting.
37:15I have just found this young lady's dance card.
37:17But, unfortunately, my name is next.
37:20No!
37:21Oh, no!
37:23Bingo.
37:24Smooth movie.
37:25Oh, I'm not looking for a husband.
37:28You are not.
37:29Oh, no, she's talking his language.
37:31That's going to change his world.
37:34Yeah.
37:34He's like, she's the woman for me.
37:37Excuse me, I meant to be somewhere.
37:40Where's she going?
37:41Is it midnight already?
37:42I can't, she just got there.
37:44Have you lost your chakra?
37:45No.
37:45Is it that we've met?
37:46No, I cannot dance.
37:48Oh, she cannot dance.
37:49Because she's not a lady.
37:50Oh, she's common as muck, Jenny.
37:52She's common as muck.
37:53A lady who cannot dance?
37:58Huh.
37:58He's mind-blown.
38:00Yeah.
38:00He's like, tick!
38:02She's unladylike.
38:04Tick!
38:05She's not going on marriage.
38:06Tick!
38:08Later in the garden, we saw Benedict showing the mystery woman a few moves.
38:13Two, three, one, two.
38:16How gorgeous.
38:17It's being really sweet and romantic with her.
38:24What's he doing?
38:27He was taking her glove off.
38:29What for?
38:34What's happening?
38:35Why's he smelling her?
38:36He's infatuated.
38:40My guy said, I want to get a good smell of this.
38:47Oh, she's got to go.
38:49Is it 12 o'clock yet?
38:50Oh, the charms.
38:54Oh, here we go.
38:55Oh, that's very forward, isn't it, Natty?
39:01Wait.
39:03She said, you ain't going to forget me, boy.
39:05Who is this mystery woman?
39:07I'm dying to know.
39:13Oh, come on, take it off.
39:14Tell us who you are.
39:15We're going to get to see her face now.
39:21She's one of the maids.
39:22She's a freaking maid.
39:28Oh, Jane.
39:30This is forbidden love.
39:32That were quite tame for Bridgerton.
39:33That's just getting us warmed up, that.
39:36It's not even started yet.
39:37Just getting the juices flowing, yeah?
39:39In home.
39:42Hey, do you know, the listening, you know, on these phones?
39:46I know, do you know.
39:47Do you know something?
39:47Yesterday, I was talking about potato waffles.
39:51Oh, yeah.
39:52And then I went on, and potato waffles started coming on me phone.
39:55You're joking.
39:56No, I swear.
39:58Best friends Jenny and Lee.
40:00I did that with the barbecue.
40:02What?
40:02Because we were talking about getting a barbecue, and then the next minute, I was sat, it come
40:08up on me phone, so they hear what you're saying.
40:12The next time I was sat there, I said, I want a six-foot man.
40:15Unk, like that.
40:17Send me some of them.
40:18And it's the lad arrived.
40:21No, I'm still waiting for it.
40:26I need to talk to him more often, don't I?
40:28Six-foot-two, six-foot-two.
40:30Yeah, six-foot-two, dark hair.
40:32Don't want blonde, dark hair.
40:35See what pops up.
40:37It'll be race done on his chair.
40:39On Monday night, Alan Carr was on the hunt for closet clever clogs on Channel 4.
40:48I've done like you, Jess.
40:49Yeah.
40:50I did pretty well.
40:51I got like 120 or something.
40:53I got 121, I think.
40:55You're a liar.
40:56No, I'm not a liar.
40:57You just picked one higher than me.
40:58No, I didn't pick one higher than me.
41:01I swear, I'm sure it was 121.
41:04Across the UK, there are estimated to be a million undiscovered geniuses.
41:10Oh, I wonder if I'm one of them.
41:12You could be a genius and not realise.
41:15Yeah.
41:16That's probably me.
41:18That's me all over.
41:21When I was a kid, I used to know everybody's reg plate on a state where I lived.
41:25Oh, Michelle knows that.
41:27She's a copper.
41:27Each week, 12 people from different corners of the UK.
41:32Completely number sequence.
41:33Have been invited to Genius HQ.
41:38Okay.
41:39Oh.
41:39Genius HQ.
41:41I'd love to go to Genius HQ.
41:42Yeah, we're going to send you in, darling.
41:44We're going to sign you up for this.
41:45Get me in there.
41:46Here, they'll compete in a series of mind-stretching games.
41:50Where do we begin?
41:51Designed with Mensa.
41:53Oh, God.
41:54I've heard of Mensa.
41:56The Society for the World's Smartest People.
41:58I was told I wouldn't go far in life.
42:00That's nasty.
42:01Who are these horrible people that taught you, please?
42:05Honestly.
42:05Horrible bastards.
42:06Fuck is all.
42:07This is what I was told.
42:10And you know what?
42:10Actually, I wish I could say to them now, hello, I work in the cheese factory.
42:14I'm proper smart, mate.
42:19Oh, jeez.
42:21I would be intrigued to know what my IQ was, but would I?
42:26Because if it's really low...
42:28I don't want to know.
42:29Better off not knowing.
42:30Better off not knowing.
42:31Better off burying your head in the sand.
42:3227-year-old Jess is the first player to face the final round.
42:38Come on, Jess.
42:39Oh, Jess, she's a real smart cookie.
42:41Yeah.
42:41Let's see how she does with this one.
42:43Okay.
42:44Right.
42:44Memorise the details of this stack of Turkish Delight.
42:49Oh, I love Turkish Delight.
42:51Turkish dish, yeah, it's more like...
42:52I want to eat that.
42:53When you are ready, you must move on to the next room.
42:56Your first question can be found on the jar.
42:58I think I'll be looking at the colours, you know, how they run, the sequence.
43:05I just want to eat the Turkish Delight.
43:06It's like the jar that displays the number of cubes in the Turkish Delight Tower.
43:10How would you know that?
43:11How would you count them all then?
43:12This is about spatial reasoning.
43:14Right, no, lost me.
43:15How the bloody hell would you know that?
43:17I'll tell you what, it's quite half this shelf.
43:19It is.
43:20I got a general vibe that it was definitely over 100.
43:25What?
43:25Yeah.
43:25I'm going to go 162.
43:28Yeah, but there's no reasoning behind it.
43:31Well, I've got so far and I'm thinking, yeah, there's a lot of Turkish Delight there.
43:38LAUGHTER
43:38Correct.
43:43No way.
43:44Bloody hell.
43:45Damn, she's quick.
43:47Well, I won far out.
43:49162.
43:50So that's not bad.
43:52Contestries of jam elderflower.
43:54Right, let's try the next one.
43:56Jelly.
43:57Ooh, jelly.
43:58Very good.
43:59We're looking for a verbal sequence.
44:01Jelly what?
44:02Jelly beans.
44:03Jelly.
44:04Jelly.
44:04What?
44:05Jelly.
44:06Jelly.
44:06Jelly.
44:06Jelly.
44:07Warm.
44:10Warm.
44:10Jelly.
44:11Jelly.
44:11Jelly whims!
44:13A seven.
44:15What's that?
44:15Seven becomes an L?
44:18Oh, that's L.
44:19It's like an L.
44:24Oh, L.
44:26Oh, lemon.
44:26Lemon.
44:27Lemon plop.
44:30It is lemon plop.
44:32Is it?
44:33Lemon drop, isn't it?
44:34Drop.
44:35Lemon drop.
44:36Lemon drop.
44:37I like that.
44:38Huh?
44:39Lemon drop.
44:40Not lemon plop.
44:41It's lemon drop.
44:42What am I?
44:44What am I?
44:46Squirrel.
44:47Squirrel minus question.
44:49Okay.
44:50Have you got it?
44:51No.
44:52Is it word, word, and then you have to add the OIC to make a new word?
44:56That is the trickiest question.
44:59Oh, look, it's sweet.
45:00How can there be an answer out of this?
45:02Is it licorice?
45:07It's not licorice.
45:08There's no H.
45:11There's no H in licorice, you dickhead.
45:13Yeah, licorice.
45:17Licorice.
45:18Yes.
45:19Wow.
45:20Licorice?
45:21Well, what's licorice got to do with Squirrel?
45:24Well done.
45:25That was amazing, that whole reasoning.
45:27Well done, Jess.
45:28She was amazing.
45:30I can't believe it.
45:31I actually can't believe I've done it.
45:34That's, I'm impressed there.
45:35I'll give you that.
45:36I'm smart.
45:38I'm not.
45:39Listen, remember the paddling pool?
45:45Do you remember the paddling pool?
45:46Yeah.
45:47And it said, fill it with water.
45:51Yeah?
45:52You filled the bit you brought with air, with water.
45:55And then we couldn't get it up because the other inflatable bit was full of water.
46:02Do you remember that, Sean?
46:04Yeah.
46:06And you're telling me you're a fucking secret genius.
46:08Yes.
46:08Yes.
46:08Yes.
46:08Yes.
46:08Yes.
46:08Yes.
46:08Yes.
46:08Yes.
46:08Yes.
46:09Yes.
46:09Yes.
46:09Yes.
46:09Yes.
46:09Yes.
46:09Yes.
46:09Yes.
46:09Yes.
46:09Yes.
46:09Yes.
46:09Yes.
46:09Yes.
46:10Yes.
46:10Yes.
46:10Yes.
46:10Yes.
46:10Yes.
46:11Yes.
46:11Yes.
46:12Yes.
46:12Yes.
46:12Yes.
46:13Yes.
46:13Yes.
46:14Yes.
46:14Yes.
46:15Yes.
46:16Yes.
46:17Yes.
46:18Yes.
46:19Yes.
46:20Yes.
46:21Yes.
46:22Yes.
46:23Yes.
46:24Yes.
46:25Yes.
46:26Yes.
46:27Yes.
46:28Yes.
46:29Yes.
46:30Yes.
46:31Yes.
46:32Yes.
46:33Yes.
46:34Yes.
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