- 2 days ago
Gutfeld Show 2/12/26 Full End Show | Fox Breaking News Trump, February 12, 2026
Category
🗞
NewsTranscript
00:00I expected that.
00:25Good evening, everyone.
00:27So, organizers at the Winter Olympics have given out 10,000 condoms to the athletes.
00:33And no surprise, most of them were grabbed by the bottom guy in the two-man luge.
00:44It's a great picture.
00:46Speaking of the Olympics, a Norwegian medalist tearfully admitted on camera to cheating on his girlfriend of just six months.
00:54Well, say goodbye to being on the Wheaties box.
00:59But hello, Tampax.
01:03Yeah.
01:03The French government is sending letters to 29-year-old women encouraging them to have babies.
01:11They're also sending letters to 39-year-olds encouraging them to have cats.
01:15Because they're 39.
01:21All right, you don't have to love every one of them.
01:24Don Lemon has hired a former federal prosecutor to defend him in court over charges stemming from the Minnesota church invasion.
01:31While Don can't afford to actually pay the lawyer, he'll hope that he takes the case pro boner.
01:37You like that one, but not the other one.
01:44I like both.
01:46Ozzy in Oklahoma Mastiff Mix broke the Guinness World Record for longest dog tongue at 7.83 inches.
01:57Great news, Ozzy has now been adopted by this man.
02:04Fits right under the desk.
02:06Today is Abe Lincoln's birthday.
02:11Don't clap, he can't hear.
02:14But if Abe were alive today, he'd say,
02:17So you're telling me you can watch porn on this thing?
02:22Slow.
02:25OnlyFans model, Bonnie Blue, had unprotected sex with 400 men hoping to get pregnant.
02:33But I can relate.
02:35I had sex with 400 women hoping they wouldn't get pregnant.
02:42It's not true.
02:43A 46-foot whale washed ashore dead on Sunset Beach in Oregon.
02:48In lieu of flowers, Bobby Kennedy is asking that you send wasabi and chopsticks.
02:53And finally, New York cops are getting a new weapon that can stun suspects from 45 feet away.
03:05Now, when criminals approach the police, they just show them this.
03:09All right, monologue.
03:16So you've heard, probably only here on Fox, that the murder rate has fallen to its lowest level in 125 years.
03:23The largest single year drop in history.
03:32The biggest drop in murder since Hillary went on her honeymoon.
03:38Violent crime also down across every category in cities across the country.
03:43Now, that's neutral, raw data.
03:46Which should make for an objective headline, you'd think.
03:48Well, here's how Axios framed it.
03:51Quote, crime plunges in major cities despite Trump's crackdown rhetoric.
03:56Despite.
03:58That one word tells you everything.
03:59They're basically arguing that crime is down despite the crime crackdown.
04:04Which is like saying the Titanic sinked despite the iceberg.
04:08It makes no sense.
04:10But this is what you do when you cannot deny numbers that make someone you hate, like Trump, look good.
04:15So instead, you manipulate or deliberately misinterpret data to protect the narrative.
04:20Which is another reason we should always thank Elon for fixing X.
04:24Because when Axios tweeted that nonsense, people called it out and they deleted it faster than a nude photo from Geraldo.
04:34And yet, here's another idiot trying to deceive you when faced with numbers.
04:38All this talk about ridding the country of violent criminals, a massive overstatement.
04:46If less than 14 percent, again, of the 400,000 immigrants being arrested had charges or convictions for violent criminal offenses.
04:57What about the 14 percent?
04:59Such a low percentage of 400,000 people.
05:03If your daughter gets raped by the guy that gets back out and he's one of the 14 percent, I don't think you're going to quibble about whether it's 14 or 64.
05:15Mm-hmm.
05:16It is amazing that Duckface was once considered a reputable journalist.
05:23Given that now she's saying that like 50,000 plus perverts and felons is nothing to worry about.
05:29But I guess that's what happens when you work with Matt Lauer for so long.
05:39She also didn't mention that the remaining criminals considered nonviolent had been busted for like drunk driving, drug trafficking, and fraud.
05:48Or as Spirit Airlines calls it, their customers.
05:51But if that's nonviolent, then it's no wonder they call a gun-wielding madman in a dress a girl, which brings us to the mass shooter in Canada.
06:03The killer was an 18-year-old dude claiming to be a woman.
06:07The New York Times said her motive was unclear.
06:10AP noted that police had previously visited her home.
06:14People identified a woman as the shooter, and the French paper Le Mans called him a local woman.
06:22So why do they deceive us to protect murderous autogynephiliacs?
06:26Perhaps because they realize they're complicit in enabling this madness.
06:31The media led that pro-trans bandwagon for years, so if a male teen is unstable, you'd be a damn hero to feed him hormones and send him to Sephora.
06:39It's a fact that the shooter is trans, and it's a fact in a number of recent similar grisly acts.
06:47Meanwhile, data from the U.S. federal prison system indicates that 48% of biological male inmates identifying as women were in custody for sex-related offenses,
06:58which is way higher than the 11% rate for real men and 4.7% for real women.
07:04It makes me wonder how Axios would write a headline about that.
07:07Violence increases among women, despite penises.
07:16Of course, those are just numbers, and when you hear numbers like that, the media screams, don't rush to conclusions.
07:28Well, fine, we won't rush to conclusions if you don't bury the facts.
07:33Again, the stats don't lie, the media does.
07:35Whether it's billions spent on the homeless as the transient population continues to explode,
07:41or that a guy with severe head trauma from a motorcycle crash is said to have died from COVID.
07:47The media sees data as the destroyer of their absurd narratives, so they shift to stuff that defies reason.
07:54Bottom line, real stats measure outcomes.
07:57If your policy works, the numbers improve.
08:00If it doesn't, they don't.
08:01It's the same reason we keep score in sports.
08:05Unless we're watching girls play soccer, then we don't.
08:07Let's welcome tonight's guest.
08:13In high school, she was voted most likely to nail a Keebler-Elf, co-host of America's Newsroom in the 5, Dana Barino.
08:23He looks like he might have modeled men's underwear at JCPenney, comedian Jeff Dodd.
08:28She went from UB-40 to UB-80.
08:34Host of the Kennedy Saves the World podcast, Kennedy.
08:38He's like a Werther's original.
08:41Brown and sweet, and old ladies love the way he tastes.
08:44Former NWA World Champion and hopes of the final time of the podcast.
08:47Dana, you've run in circles with Katie Couric.
08:58Was she always this mind-numbingly stupid?
09:02No.
09:03No?
09:04Well, I think something happens when you have an editor, right?
09:07So even though you could say that the liberal media has been terrible for years.
09:10But when everybody went on Substack and got their own podcast, that means there's no checks.
09:15Yes. So the editors are actually your friends, and the people that are on your Twitter feed,
09:21and the people who maybe you had dinner with, or the people you walk your dog with, right?
09:25So that becomes your circle, and you're like, well, I heard, and did you know?
09:30And then they're repeating things.
09:31So I think that for everybody that's now on Substack, some of them are great, of course.
09:35Yes, you can pick and choose, but that means that either the pieces are going to be too long,
09:39or they're going to be wrong.
09:40The other thing is that with things like the Axios piece, things happen fast.
09:45And you have young people who are editing, and they don't know the difference between the words in spite and because.
09:51You think they didn't know?
09:53I don't know.
09:53Well, I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt, but I will also add this.
09:58No matter what, you know, the phrase, don't believe your own press,
10:01the Democrats end up over and over again believing what they are reading about themselves,
10:07and that's why they continue to run into a brick wall when it comes to the electorate.
10:11Yeah, these kids are going to be so confused about pronouns in 10 years.
10:15It's like, they're going to think they is singular.
10:18This is wrong.
10:19Are there any other examples I've left out, Jeff?
10:22You look great, by the way.
10:23Thank you very much.
10:24New jacket.
10:25It looks good.
10:25Yeah.
10:25I just don't, when I read these things or I look into these things, I just don't know what,
10:32I don't know what the goal is of places like, I don't even know what that thing is,
10:36or like CNN or any of these other things.
10:39Yeah, what's the point?
10:40I just don't know what their goal is.
10:41Yeah.
10:41It's very strange.
10:42You know, they'll say, oh, ICE is deporting all these lovely, innocent people, you know,
10:47people like your grandmother.
10:48And they go, well, they're getting rid of criminals.
10:51And they go, oh, yeah, but it's only violent, they're nice criminals, they're not violent
10:56criminals.
10:56Only 14% are violent.
10:58You're like, but they're criminals.
11:00Also, like theft, all these other things, those are criminals.
11:02So now the argument turns to like, well, they're not getting rid of enough criminals or whatever.
11:07And then you go, well, we should get rid of them.
11:09And then someone will do something terrible, like rape someone or hurt someone or kill someone.
11:13And they go, well, that was just one.
11:14It's like, I don't really know what their argument is.
11:16So that makes it really hard to argue because it's so vague and so weird and strange.
11:21Yeah.
11:21I quoted Walter Kern today on The Five that like, assuming that these people know what
11:26they're talking about, it's like assuming actors in movies control the movie.
11:30Right.
11:30It's like, there's what, why are they doing this?
11:33Like, we don't know.
11:34I don't know what her point was.
11:35When she was arguing with him, she's like, well, it's less than 14.
11:38You're like, that's a lot.
11:39Yeah.
11:4014's a lot.
11:41And she's just mulling over it like, no, oh my gosh, it's not that big of a deal.
11:45It's like, I don't understand what their argument is.
11:47You know what, Kennedy?
11:48Imagine you're an adult film actress.
11:51Don't have to imagine hard, Greg.
11:53Yeah.
11:56And the male actor disrobes and you go, oh my God.
12:00And you go, no, only 14% of my genitals are covered with warts.
12:04That was an analogy, that was an analogy given to me by a priest.
12:15Why do we have to put Kennedy in there?
12:18That's what I said on the set.
12:20I'm like, why do we got to put the priest in here with the warning?
12:22What's going on?
12:24But you see my point.
12:25I love how they were disgusted by that.
12:28Don't you watch this show?
12:29Oh, that seems so much fun.
12:33Yes, I don't know exactly what she's doing because if the very worst people in society
12:40still make up a good chunk of society, then you should still want them out of society.
12:46And I think she just assumed that Rand Paul was because on some issues he disagrees with
12:53the president.
12:53So she assumed she knew Rand Paul.
12:56She didn't do any research.
12:58So she asked him this question where he happens to be really passionate about it and has an
13:03impassioned defense for what he believes.
13:06And that's why people like Rand Paul are very frustrating to both sides because they happen
13:11to be principled people who also do a lot of research, which is something that Katie Couric
13:17and her overly inflated lips are a bit allergic to.
13:19Yeah, they're amazing.
13:21All right, Tyrus, I'm going to try it again.
13:23Imagine you go to get a massage and the woman comes out and you go, oh, my God.
13:32And she goes, oh, I only have warts on 14% of the surface of my hands.
13:41Rub away, lady.
13:45Rub away.
13:46Let's gamble.
13:47Let's go for it.
13:50It's better than coming home with rickets.
13:52You know what I'm saying?
13:53Or lockjaw.
13:56What?
13:57Or trench mouth.
14:00We're going through the old timey.
14:01What kind of masseuses do you go to?
14:04I go to the ye olde pirate masseuse.
14:07Yeah.
14:07Yeah, ye olde creepy masseuse, maybe.
14:10But creepy is a good word for this.
14:13It is.
14:14These.
14:16It's.
14:17We use the term derange.
14:18It's not.
14:19It's just a it's a concentrated effort to just undermine.
14:23They're just so pissed you lost.
14:25Yeah.
14:25Because they were they were the virtue signaling martyrs that were supposed to save us from
14:29the orange dragon and didn't quite work out.
14:32And now they're left to doing podcasts out the comfort of apparently they all live in
14:36the same basement.
14:38Yeah.
14:39And they all have the camera way too close to their face.
14:44I think they get so close in their mind.
14:46They can see if anyone's going to turn it off and people would be just to like you go
14:50to turn it off.
14:51But her face is too close.
14:52I don't want to do it.
14:53But they just they go on there and they get in there.
14:55They're in their little bubbles and they talk about how evil the president is or how
14:59bad this is.
15:00And that is 14 percent of anything is a lot.
15:02Yeah.
15:03It is a lot.
15:04And but that's not even really the point that it doesn't matter.
15:08We have the murder rate down.
15:10We have all these things that are down because the borders closed.
15:13Right.
15:14Because the criminals are on roller skates right now, because even in their their sanctuary
15:18cities where they have been safe and been able to do whatever voodoo they want to
15:22do, they're not able to do that anymore because ICE is coming to get their ass now.
15:26But the thing is this, the stats that is that is the the progressive.
15:32That's their tool.
15:33That's their fool's tool.
15:34They try to hit you with a dumb poll number as if that will back up their and their polls
15:41are like it doesn't even have to make any sense at all.
15:42Well, only 14 percent of people are raping.
15:46Well, let them in.
15:48You know, I mean, it's like how many do they?
15:52They usually think what those numbers aren't even close to what's the acceptable rate because
15:57their primary targets are other illegals who are not going to report or call the police.
16:02So they practice their trade.
16:04They get overly confident and bold after they terrorize the groups that they're hiding with.
16:08And then they take that savings out on American citizens when they run out of when everyone
16:13in their their peer groups know who they are.
16:15They run from them.
16:16So they go out and search.
16:17So their numbers mean nothing.
16:19Just one person coming into this country illegally and killing someone or raping someone is
16:25way too much.
16:26Yeah.
16:26All right.
16:27Up next.
16:29Swalwell's Tall Tales.
16:30When your gut is out of balance, your body gives you a fake story with one simple twist.
16:40The facts don't exist.
16:43This never happened.
16:47Tonight on This Never Happened, Eric Swalwell tells a BS story while speaking to Todd Lyons,
16:53the acting ice director.
16:54A couple nights ago I met with a woman who works as a cashier at a grocery store and I
17:02told her I was coming to see you, Mr. Lyons.
17:05And she said, will you ask him?
17:07And she didn't want to give her name.
17:08She was terrified to give her name.
17:10She said, when I get off my shift around midnight and I walk through the parking lot to my car,
17:16she said, if somebody rolls up in an unidentified van and gets out wearing all black and their
17:23face is covered and they don't have any identification and they asked me to get into the van, how do
17:30I know who they are?
17:35How does she know, Mr. Lyons?
17:36How does she know if they're an ice agent or bad guys?
17:39Of course, the director then pointed out how stupid that story is.
17:51Sir, ice agents have identifiable placards on their uniforms as well as their badges representative,
17:58but you won't see ice agents rolling through the parking lots and just snatching someone up.
18:02Ice does intelligence driven targeted enforcement operations.
18:07So obviously the story's bogus.
18:09If that cashier was actually real, the only question she would have asked was, dude,
18:12aren't you the guy who farted on live TV?
18:15Didn't use taxpayer dollars to ask the Ukrainians to help him cheat an election.
18:26I want to run this quick tape and you can talk about either one.
18:30Here's Nadler falling asleep during the Pam Bondi.
18:33Look at this.
18:34Isn't this great?
18:36You know, this is probably when he does his best work.
18:39When he's unconscious and then finally somebody comes over and like, hey, fat guy, wake up.
18:46You're drooling.
18:47You're drooling.
18:49Come on.
18:49Wait.
18:50When's the person coming?
18:52Somebody's got to come.
18:52Maybe they know what they did.
18:54They don't care anymore.
18:55Right.
18:55They just don't care.
18:56They just left him there.
18:58All right.
18:59Jeff, that happens in a lot of your shows, doesn't it?
19:02No, it doesn't.
19:02Why is it that they always come up with these stupid sob stories?
19:09I think it's, well, the Nadler thing, I'm going to give him a pass.
19:11This guy's 78 years old.
19:13You know, these things are long.
19:14I give him a little bit of grace.
19:16You know, it's like when Ken Griffey Jr. was at the end of his career.
19:19They found him like sleeping in the dugout.
19:20He's like, I'm not going to play.
19:21You know, he's not working anymore, you know?
19:24Yeah.
19:25The story before that is so funny to me just because he, as he was saying it, do you think
19:30he was like, ah, I think they're onto my b****?
19:33Like, as he was going, he's like, uh, she didn't want to say her name because she's terrified.
19:39And then she asked me, are they the bad guys?
19:42Or are they, like, unless the cashier's five years old or like, it's just complete nonsense.
19:47He should have said she was only six years old.
19:50Yeah.
19:50That would have made it perfect.
19:52Kennedy, I love the fact that, like, her question is layered with exactly the same kind of concerned
19:57details you would find in a Democrat talking point.
20:00Like, you know, mask wearing, anonymous, you know, just this, it's all, it's like perfectly
20:06scripted.
20:07Yeah.
20:07As though he's just a man of the people and he's out there at food king, you know, just
20:13jaw jacking with the hardworking men and women answering their questions day in and day
20:19out.
20:20And his question, I mean, that's Swalwell in a nutshell.
20:22It was so dumb.
20:23It's like, well, how can she tell if it's a Ice Ageing or a bad guy?
20:28And then it's like, are you, is that the question you're asking me?
20:31Also, why is he telling her that he's going to see you?
20:35He's like, I told her I'm coming to see you.
20:37I'm not going to, I'm not going to tell you her name.
20:40It's insane.
20:41It's Esmeralda Garcia Gonzalez.
20:43I'm not going to tell you that.
20:44But Todd Lyons should have said, like, is it Fang Fang?
20:49Because we're coming for her.
20:51We're doing it.
20:52Yeah.
20:52It is.
20:53It's a, Tyrus.
20:54The joke here is that, A, he's lying because no one would recognize him.
20:58What are you talking about, all of you?
21:00How do you know he's lying?
21:02I'm so, how dare you?
21:04Yeah.
21:04He is the, he is the victim here.
21:07I would be furious if I went into a grocery store to get some food and the checker lays
21:14that on me.
21:15That, that had to be, I've got my coupons out, the money's in my hands.
21:21Yeah.
21:21And you want to lay a 45 minute story about what your ass does after work?
21:26Lady, just check me out.
21:28Box of tampons, Similac, and I'll be on my way.
21:30I mean, that is, how upsetting is that?
21:35You know, like, and then of course she probably, after all that, he had to buy the bag.
21:39Yeah.
21:39Now he had to get the bag.
21:41He got worked.
21:43Yeah.
21:43And he did know the name.
21:44It was just embarrassing because of similarities.
21:47Yes.
21:48Everyone knows the young lady that, in question, her name was Erica Swallowbad.
21:53Dana, uh, it is, uh, Jeff makes a good point that like what he actually told this woman
22:04where he was going.
22:05Oh yeah.
22:05He's, he's putting the milk up there.
22:08He's putting the cookies and he goes, yes, I'm just heading over to a hearing now with
22:12the acting director of ice.
22:13You know, like, like he goes to the cashier being like, do you know who I am?
22:17Yes, exactly.
22:19And also remember, this is a guy who missed more votes in the last year than a guy who
22:25died last March.
22:26Yeah.
22:27Okay.
22:27So it's not like he really cares about what's going on, but it also reminded me of those
22:33Instagram posts where you have, or sometimes on X, you'll have people say this morning,
22:39my little boy.
22:40Oh yeah.
22:40Oh yeah.
22:41He said, and you're like, wow, that absolutely never happened.
22:44Unless it's Jesse Jr.
22:45And then it always happens.
22:46Yeah.
22:46It's like, how long's the checkout too?
22:48I guess I don't grocery shop where they grocery shop.
22:51It was a long antidote.
22:52I imagine the people behind him like, let's keep this moving.
22:55Yes.
22:55I've got groceries.
22:57You know, he pissed everybody off because he had 12 items in the 10 items.
23:00Yeah.
23:00He probably had.
23:01And he also paid my check.
23:02Yeah.
23:04All right.
23:05It's so long.
23:06I love him.
23:06All right.
23:07Up next, an Olympic cheater.
23:08A story in five words.
23:15By athletes gets gold, an embarrassment.
23:19So Kennedy, after winning a bronze medal in the Winter Olympics, Norwegian Sturla Leingrid,
23:25who cares?
23:26He broke down in tears and admitted to cheating on his girlfriend.
23:30Roll it.
23:32For a half years ago, I met my life's love.
23:36I'm the most beautiful person in the world.
23:38And for three months since, I got my biggest tabby and was out of the room for her.
23:44Oh, I've told you that I've got a few weeks since.
23:47This is so bad.
23:48Oh, I've told you that I've got a few weeks since I've got a gold medal in my life.
23:58I've told you that I've got a few weeks since I've got a few weeks since I've got a few months.
24:03But I've only seen my eyes for her.
24:05alright Kennedy
24:08she dumped him
24:12they were dating for like six months
24:15dude what are you doing
24:16if you were the woman
24:18would you have found this to be
24:20redemptive
24:22no I would have been like
24:24oh I was your gold medal
24:25yet you developed Norwegian wood
24:27for another woman
24:29three months into our relationship
24:31why don't you take that
24:34biathlon rival and shove it up
24:36your ass
24:37I guess it was the
24:41relationship that was
24:43going downhill
24:44we'll be right
24:47back with
24:48Tyrus alright
24:50what have you ever
24:52done anything that like
24:54yes you have
24:55yes you have
24:58I'm a monster
25:01man you don't think I f***ed up in my life
25:03go back home and try to get back in
25:05you do that
25:06you just don't do it in front of a damn camera
25:07yeah
25:08and you do it for someone who wants you back
25:11six months in
25:13yeah
25:13that's an audition
25:14there's no
25:16that breakup isn't even a call
25:18yeah
25:19you just stop seeing each other
25:21you just
25:21there's not
25:22he obviously
25:23doesn't have
25:25a wingman down there
25:27right
25:27he didn't have someone to say
25:29this isn't the time
25:30yeah
25:31nor the place
25:32plus
25:32you gotta win to do that speech
25:34he has to have the gold medal
25:37and then do that
25:38and then everyone around him is like
25:39he's a hero
25:40right
25:41now they're like
25:42oh you're a loser
25:43and a loser
25:45like that's a double
25:46you can't
25:47you can't have two L's
25:49you gotta win the whole thing
25:52and then when you're sitting there with the gold
25:54and be like
25:55and I
25:55no
25:57that I'm a gold medalist
25:58huh
25:59you know
26:00but like
26:01it's just
26:01that's the sad part
26:02I think his
26:03this is gonna be one of those things
26:06many many years from now
26:07is still gonna hurt his face
26:09when his buddies go
26:10hey did you see that new video
26:11yeah
26:12for sure
26:14you know
26:20would you have taken him back Dana
26:22I feel like he watched one too many romantic comedies
26:26and believed that at the end of this
26:27she was going to come out of like some like sauna hut
26:31and say
26:32you were right all along
26:35and I forgive you
26:36yes
26:37and you know what
26:37he could have done it like with little signs
26:40like they did
26:40yes
26:40and love actually
26:41and then I am sorry
26:44Greg hates that movie
26:45I hate that
26:46well she knows
26:46which is why I brought it up
26:47yeah
26:48well played
26:49well it's the only movie that's happened to
26:50anytime they do that
26:53they do that in videos too
26:55it bothers me
26:56you know
26:57Jeff
26:57he says
26:59he regrets it now
27:01he regrets doing it
27:03I've seen some terrible things on the internet
27:05you know
27:06we've all gone down some dark
27:07you know
27:08spirals
27:09or
27:09they'll sometimes show terrible things
27:11even on this
27:12you know
27:12on the news
27:12this was the hardest thing to watch
27:14as a man
27:15it like physically hurt me
27:18because I think I've been there
27:20we've all been there
27:21where we do like a pithy
27:22kind of like
27:22we try to be rum
27:23but it just gives the girl
27:24more of the ick
27:25you know
27:26she sees it
27:27she's like
27:27ugh
27:27now he's
27:28like
27:28it doesn't ever work
27:30it might work in some bull crap
27:32like scripted rom-com
27:33like Dana was saying
27:34but it doesn't really ever work
27:35this was your moment to be like
27:37I'm cool
27:37I'm confident
27:39you wait a few weeks
27:39hey did you see me win the bronze medal
27:41did you already know
27:42huh
27:43did she find out then
27:44do we know
27:44did she find out then
27:45no I think she already knew
27:47they'd broken up
27:47yeah yeah yeah
27:47I feel terrible
27:48like why is he even bringing it up
27:50I think
27:51I think that
27:51it was worse than that
27:52they asked him about her
27:54because what they're interviewing him for
27:56he didn't win
27:56no they're interviewing him
27:58yeah no that's not true
27:59he brought it up
27:59she won the gold
28:00and it came up
28:02he went and found a camera guy
28:03hey quick quick
28:04I want to say no
28:05some dudes do
28:06yes he did it
28:07no he won the bronze though
28:08yeah he won bronze
28:08another guy from Goldway
28:10his teammate won the gold
28:11like if you win
28:12I don't agree with Tyrus
28:13if you win the bronze
28:14that's not good enough
28:16thank you Dana
28:17but Kennedy makes the
28:18Kennedy makes
28:20the best point
28:22that his teammate won the gold
28:24and no one knows that
28:25right
28:26well we don't
28:27so he's a triple loser
28:28in Norway
28:29just cause we're not covering it
28:31doesn't mean they
28:32Jeff Jeff Jeff
28:33there's no such thing as Norway
28:35whatever it is
28:36okay alright
28:36it's a thing that we do
28:38the whole Olympics thing
28:39is made up
28:40it's done in a sound stage
28:41hilarious
28:41coming up
28:42Gab's wife
28:43loses it
28:44it's coming
28:48your way
28:49hey hey
28:51it's video
28:52of the day
28:53hey hey
28:55Gavin wishes
29:00he could abort
29:01his crazy wife's
29:02retort
29:03Newsom's affluent
29:04white female
29:05lib wife
29:06an awful
29:07Jennifer wagged
29:08her proverbial finger
29:09at reporters
29:10for not asking
29:10the right questions
29:11at a Planned Parenthood
29:13press conference
29:14in Sacta Timento
29:15roll it Norm
29:17we just find it
29:19incredulous
29:20that
29:20we have Planned Parenthood
29:22here
29:22and women are 51%
29:24of the population
29:25and the majority
29:26of the questions
29:27all of these questions
29:27have really been
29:28about other issues
29:29so it's just fascinating
29:31you have this incredible
29:31women's caucus
29:32and all these allies
29:33and you're not asking
29:34about it
29:35and this happens
29:35over and over
29:36and over
29:37and over again
29:38you wonder
29:38why we have
29:39such a horrific
29:41war on women
29:41in this country
29:42and that these guys
29:43are getting away
29:44with it
29:44because you don't
29:45seem to care
29:45so I just offer
29:47that with love
29:48these are
29:52you have incredible
29:53women in this room
29:54and you have
29:54these allies
29:55ask about
29:56what we're here
29:57for today
29:58don't you think
29:59wow she's a bit
30:00angry and aggro
30:02well we know
30:04she wasn't there
30:05because she missed
30:05her period
30:06all sexists
30:08would say
30:08Iris
30:10she's gonna be
30:12an awesome
30:13first lady
30:14in what
30:15don't say it
30:16don't put that
30:18out there
30:18oh
30:19don't worry
30:20I'll edit that out
30:22Greg messed up
30:23this is the night
30:24where I get to
30:25take over
30:26it's person Greg
30:28it's first person
30:30partner
30:30partner
30:31oh excuse me
30:33when you have
30:35to tell everyone
30:35the people on stage
30:36are heroes
30:37that means they're
30:38not
30:38because no one's
30:39like oh man
30:40that's such and such
30:41I mean literally
30:43Swalwell walks
30:44into a supermarket
30:45and they're like
30:46hey aren't you
30:46going to the head
30:47of the ice guy
30:47to talk with him
30:48so obviously
30:49you have to be
30:50known but
30:50I love the fact
30:52that like that
30:52passive aggressive
30:53stuff like
30:54hi guys
30:54and then she
30:55learned a new
30:55word
30:56incredulous
30:57which isn't even
30:59the right
30:59no no no
31:00I don't
31:00I feel like
31:01it's the
31:01princess bride
31:02I don't think
31:03that means
31:04word means
31:05what you think
31:05it means
31:05sort of
31:06but not really
31:07anybody want
31:08a peanut
31:08absolutely terrible
31:12she says
31:12there's a war
31:13on women
31:14and she's at
31:15Planned Parenthood
31:15where they abort
31:16a lot of chicks
31:17that's right
31:17and also
31:19a couple of
31:20things
31:20she's chastising
31:21the reporters
31:22in the room
31:23they were all
31:24women
31:25yeah
31:25okay
31:26so the women
31:26are there
31:27because they
31:27are journalists
31:28and they are
31:29going to ask
31:30the guy
31:30who's trying
31:30to run
31:31for president
31:31of the United
31:32States
31:32for information
31:33the other thing
31:34is
31:34I'm pointing
31:35out on the
31:35five
31:36president
31:36trump
31:37last week
31:37announced
31:37trump
31:38rx
31:38one of the
31:3925 messages
31:40he did
31:40in one day
31:41but didn't
31:42get enough
31:42coverage
31:42what did he
31:43do there
31:43he said
31:44during the
31:44campaign
31:45he said
31:45I promise
31:45to help
31:46bring down
31:46medicines
31:47to cover
31:48fertility
31:48drugs
31:49for IVF
31:50and he
31:50did it
31:51and none
31:53of these
31:53women
31:53yeah
31:54nobody's
31:55praising him
31:56for that
31:56because they
31:56actually want
31:57to have
31:57their children
31:58yeah
31:58well
31:59these
31:59they're
32:00sad sad
32:01people
32:02they're heroes
32:02Greg
32:03they're heroes
32:04they're allies
32:05here's the thing
32:06this is my
32:07number one
32:09pet peeve
32:09about the left
32:10even when I
32:11was more
32:11liberal
32:11like this
32:12is my
32:12being super
32:13vague
32:14to look
32:15virtuous
32:15and to look
32:16like you're
32:17a good
32:17person
32:17the war
32:18that's on
32:19women in
32:19this country
32:20what does
32:21that even
32:21there's a war
32:23on little
32:23babies in
32:24tummies
32:25that's what
32:25the war is
32:26on
32:26they're not
32:27in tummies
32:30they're not
32:31in stomachs
32:32I learned
32:32that a year
32:33ago
32:33oh interesting
32:33I meant
32:34uterus
32:34it's like
32:36a baby pocket
32:37it's a baby
32:38pocket
32:39behind the
32:40tummy
32:41where does it
32:43go when they're
32:44not having
32:44the baby
32:45it goes
32:45I'm just
32:46a guy
32:47I'm just
32:47a dumb
32:48guy
32:48warring
32:49on women
32:49also the
32:50other part
32:51that's frustrating
32:51about this
32:52whole topic
32:53or this
32:53whole subject
32:53is they
32:54love to
32:55make it
32:55like they'll
32:55make their
32:56big glitter
32:56signs when
32:57they're protesting
32:57like these
32:58men putting
32:59laws on
33:00our bodies
33:01f*** you
33:01it is people
33:02like my mom
33:03and people
33:04like my
33:04grandma
33:05those are the
33:06ones who are
33:06saying hey
33:07you know you're
33:08really gonna
33:08regret this
33:09and that's a
33:10human life
33:10this is a
33:11woman on woman
33:12issue if we're
33:13really gonna get
33:13into it
33:14most guys stay
33:15out of this
33:15stuff
33:15most guys are
33:16like get rid
33:16of it
33:17yeah
33:17I'm pro-life
33:19but I'm not
33:20out there
33:21talking about
33:21it
33:21I'm sorry
33:24I gotta jump
33:25in here fellas
33:25men never say
33:26that
33:26what we say
33:27is what you
33:28want to do
33:29yeah
33:30but I'm saying
33:31these politicians
33:32you want to do
33:32that
33:33all these evil
33:34white men
33:35they talk about
33:36those guys
33:36are the ones
33:37who are saying
33:37yes you should
33:39take care of
33:39this
33:40yes
33:40it's not
33:41those aren't
33:41the ones
33:41saying keep
33:42your babies
33:43and have a
33:43family and
33:44all that
33:44like those
33:44kind of
33:45things
33:45Kennedy
33:45what did
33:46you make
33:46of this
33:47whole event
33:47well if
33:48she's really
33:49going to talk
33:49about the war
33:50on women
33:50why don't you
33:51talk about
33:51the war
33:52on women
33:53in sports
33:54yeah
33:54having to
33:55fight to
33:57maintain their
33:58sports
33:58from men
34:00that her
34:01husband can't
34:02grow a pair
34:02of balls
34:03and say
34:03which side
34:04of that issue
34:05he's really
34:06on because
34:07he wants
34:07to have
34:08it both
34:08ways
34:09you know
34:10like
34:10when he
34:11was banging
34:11his best
34:12friend's
34:12wife
34:13and his
34:13own
34:14wife
34:14at the
34:14same
34:15time
34:15he was
34:17very
34:17incredulous
34:18yeah but
34:18you know
34:19what's funny
34:19I'm incredulous
34:21the incredulation
34:22is shocking
34:23yeah
34:23that she
34:24actually
34:25you want
34:25to warn
34:26on women
34:26she
34:26she pretty
34:27much
34:27threw dirt
34:28at that
34:29woman
34:29that he
34:30had an
34:30affair
34:31with
34:31do you
34:31know
34:31that
34:31when that
34:32story
34:32came out
34:33she said
34:34this chick
34:35defended her
34:36husband
34:36by trashing
34:37that girl
34:38just
34:38she pulled
34:39a hillary
34:39except no
34:40one died
34:40in the
34:40event
34:41up next
34:44a gassy
34:46story
34:47should we
34:51be concerned
34:52with the
34:57help of
34:58high-tech
34:58underwear
34:59that measures
35:00and tracks
35:00hydrogen
35:01gas
35:02and flatulence
35:02scientists
35:03have discovered
35:04that we're
35:04letting it
35:04rip more
35:05than previously
35:05thought
35:06old research
35:07showed we
35:07pass gas
35:08only 14
35:08times a day
35:09on average
35:09but new
35:10studies suggest
35:11it's more
35:12like 32
35:13times daily
35:14dana
35:16yeah
35:17thanks for
35:19coming on
35:19dana
35:20we got to
35:20start with
35:21dana
35:21yeah
35:21i'm under
35:22the impression
35:23that you
35:23have never
35:24broken wind
35:25in your
35:25life
35:26it's actually
35:28impossible
35:28yeah that
35:29would be
35:30because you
35:30don't even
35:30have the
35:31thing that
35:31you can
35:32blow
35:32well the
35:32baby pocket
35:33gets in
35:33the way
35:34i would
35:36love to
35:36know who
35:37funded it
35:37right
35:37yes
35:38i don't
35:38know if
35:38we know
35:39that
35:39but we
35:43know how
35:43like when
35:44they go
35:44through the
35:45budget and
35:45they find
35:45out like you
35:46were funding
35:47trans concerts
35:48in columbia or
35:49something like
35:50that i wonder
35:50if it's something
35:51like that or
35:51if it is some
35:53sort of
35:53pharmaceutical
35:54company but
35:55you know also
35:56when all this
35:57stuff that
35:58tracks your
35:58sleep or
35:59whatever
36:00whatever else
36:01you were
36:02tracking your
36:03health your
36:03blood pressure
36:04everything so
36:04we have this
36:05mattress though
36:05that tracks
36:06everything like
36:07how long i
36:07snored or
36:08not because
36:09guess what i
36:09snored less
36:10than a minute
36:10that's my
36:11record but
36:12there's all
36:13these other
36:13things that it
36:13measures and
36:14i'm pretty
36:14comfortable with
36:15all of that
36:15being out there
36:16in the world
36:16i don't want
36:17this measured
36:18yeah although
36:19jeff what if
36:23it turns out
36:24that flatulence
36:25is like an
36:26energy that you
36:28could harness
36:29i'd love
36:30that man i'd
36:31be rich
36:31i also want
36:35to say i'm
36:35offended by
36:36this graphic i
36:37don't know what
36:37this graphic is
36:39it's strange and
36:41it's weird it's
36:42making me uncomfortable
36:43also i think
36:44technology has
36:45finally jumped the
36:46shark yeah i
36:47mean like what
36:48what are we
36:49doing like this
36:50is in what
36:51will ai do with
36:52this information
36:52yeah and also
36:53it's going to be
36:54like oh greg
36:55your age your
36:56biological age is
36:57is 43 or
36:59whatever but
36:59your fart age
37:00is 84
37:01yes you have
37:0276 000 farts
37:04this year you're
37:05like i don't
37:05need any of
37:06this information
37:07you got french
37:09bulldogs kennedy
37:10i got one oh
37:12you know but it
37:13smells like i have
37:1450 yes don't you
37:16find it interesting
37:17do you have you
37:18gotten used to his
37:18farts no he was
37:20sitting on the
37:20couch last night
37:21like he's got
37:22great food just
37:23taking him for a
37:24walk he took a
37:25turd the size of
37:26his own head
37:26i'm like he's
37:28cleaned out and
37:29then he's on the
37:30couch i'm like what
37:31could you possibly
37:32have gotten into
37:33yeah it's amazing
37:34if you were a
37:34family member i
37:35would have called
37:36tom homan and
37:37had him deported
37:38there are he's
37:40french some
37:41there are dog
37:43farts that are so
37:44horrible they're
37:45almost so funny
37:46like you can't
37:46believe this exists
37:47it's like what
37:49just happened
37:49every once in a
37:50while they do it
37:51it's loud it
37:53smells horrific
37:54like it clears
37:55the room they
37:56look up at you
37:56like all right
37:57yeah they turn
38:00around and go
38:01you're here i'm
38:02not going anywhere
38:03cyrus uh i know
38:05you hate studies
38:05but uh what do
38:07you make of this
38:08one you were
38:08excited about
38:09no it wasn't
38:10that's that's
38:10fake news i'm
38:12more concerned
38:13about this bed
38:14dana's talking
38:14about so like it
38:16tells you everything
38:16that's going on
38:17everything could
38:17you imagine
38:18though like oh
38:19you're alone again
38:20for 32 days
38:21right side of the
38:23bed's a little
38:23empty there bro
38:24well what do you
38:26vigorously wake up
38:27for every 15 minutes
38:28like it's a lot
38:29i highly recommend
38:30this thing though
38:31because it regulates
38:32your body temperature
38:32yeah yeah yeah
38:33also what if ai
38:35gets consciousness
38:36and then we're
38:37held responsible
38:37for these kind of
38:38things yeah
38:39you know like our
38:40war crimes of our
38:41farts you know we
38:42have to go we have
38:43to go to senate like
38:44he ate taco bell
38:45every day like i
38:47don't want to have
38:48to be held
38:48is it going to be
38:50like steps where
38:51you get like an
38:51an award alert like
38:53hey you hit your
38:54quota yeah
38:56break wind master
38:58like i mean it's
38:59going to be like
38:59we got to move on
39:00but that's an
39:01interesting point
39:01do you burn calories
39:03when you break wind
39:04i don't think so
39:06well you it's
39:06definitely there's
39:07only one way for
39:08this to work
39:08you have to wear
39:10the underwear for
39:11a week this was
39:12all and we'll see
39:13we'll get back a
39:14strategy to get
39:15the picture i know
39:17the the the the cut
39:18of the underwear
39:19isn't the problem
39:20what is the device
39:21that's what i said
39:22is that the measuring
39:22device what is that
39:24we must move on
39:25we'll i will sniff it
39:26out thermometer
39:27we'll be right back
39:28you
39:30you
39:42you
39:42you
39:42you
39:43Let's go.
Comments