- 8 hours ago
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00:00If you are here at Essence, I think it is fair to say that wellness is something that
00:12you value because this is a time to learn, but a time just to have fun and laugh, but
00:20is wellness something that you practice on a daily basis?
00:24I think we can all use some pointers on how to do that.
00:27So coming to the stage to give us some pointers and some ideas about how to incorporate wellness
00:34into our life is the author of Managing Anxiety and Taking Care of Your Emotional Wellness at
00:41Any Age, Ms. Carrie Champion.
00:43She is a journalist, a disruptor, founder of the nonprofit organization Brown Girls Dream,
00:49along with having co-hosted Carrie and Jamel Won't Stick to Sports.
00:53She served as an anchor on ESPN and the Tennis Channel, just to name a few things.
00:59Currently, she hosts the podcast Naked with Carrie Champion.
01:03She is not currently naked.
01:06She is my friend, and I'm honored to bring Carrie Champion to the stage.
01:09Aw.
01:12Hi.
01:13Hi.
01:14Oh, my God.
01:16I need you guys to make a lot of noise, a lot of noise, because, yeah.
01:22I know there's a lot going on.
01:23It's hard to engage everyone, but this is really exciting.
01:26So good afternoon, Essence.
01:28How are you?
01:31All right.
01:32I'm really excited to be here.
01:33I've been here before.
01:34I know a lot of you all have enjoyed this time, this festival.
01:38But today, we're figuring out how we enjoy it and relax and be our true selves.
01:43I think there is so much happening in society today.
01:46If we're not talking about mass shootings or if we're not talking about Roe versus Wade
01:51or what's happening in the world today, inflation, gas prices, you name it, we're stressed.
01:57And a lot of times, we just put our heads down and work through it.
02:00Today, I am bringing to the stage some amazing people to give you some serious tips.
02:05And you're hearing from them as they do it.
02:07They live the life day in and day out.
02:09And they make it a priority to take care of their emotional wellness.
02:12And they really, truly bask in their glory.
02:15If you physically look at them, they fine.
02:18They look real good.
02:19I need you to give me a big, huge round of applause for Angelica Ross.
02:24Come on out, Angelica.
02:27Grab a seat.
02:28You guys, listen, let me just give you by way of background.
02:31Anybody watch Pose?
02:33Candy on Pose?
02:35She's an actress.
02:36She's a writer.
02:37She's a director.
02:38She is everything.
02:40And she's truly an activist in so many ways.
02:42And so she can talk to us about that.
02:44Now, you may know this next young lady coming to the stage, Angela Yee from The Breakfast Club.
02:51Angela does it all.
02:52She is an entrepreneur.
02:53She has 15 jobs, owns 27 businesses.
02:56And she spent some time today with us to explain what is the best thing for all of us to do.
03:03So give us a round of applause as we get into it, guys.
03:05I feel like there are three, maybe four or 5,000 people out here.
03:14And we just can't see it because we're back here.
03:18And we can enjoy it.
03:20And I'll start with you first, Angelica.
03:22I think it's really interesting that we have an Angelica and an Angela on stage.
03:26And so I might be like, A1, A2, help me out.
03:32The conversation, ladies, is about health and wellness.
03:35And I know people say all the time, and it's a buzzword, what does self-care look like for you?
03:41And I need you to make it plain for the folks that are sitting here.
03:45What do you do for self-care?
03:46Well, thank you very much, first of all, for moderating this lovely conversation.
03:51I think that we need to have more conversations that are intersectional like this.
03:56I love this.
03:57But what I will say for me, what's number one when it comes to self-care is understanding that you need to prioritize yourself.
04:06And when I wake up in the morning, I realize that every day there are different things pulling at me and calling at me.
04:14Sometimes before I've even hopped in the shower or eat breakfast or sat in front of my altar to check in with my spirit.
04:24And nom, yo, ho, ring, yo, nom, yo, ho, ring, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
04:27You know what I do.
04:28You know me like Miss Tina Turner.
04:29I've seen the movie.
04:29But, yes.
04:30But so you have to at all costs create a space and prioritize that space before anything else, before the dogs, before the kids, before everything else.
04:43Just make sure that you, like they say, put your own mask on first.
04:46So self-care looks different, but the more you can indulge in not just an hour, but just really going about your day and constantly prioritizing how you feel throughout the day.
05:00That's number one for me.
05:02You guys, and Angela, maybe you can help me.
05:04When you wake up in the morning, because you pointed out something really important.
05:08If I grab my phone first, I'm stressed for the rest of the morning.
05:11And I know that's what we do because that's what we've been taught to do instead of taking a moment.
05:16When you wake up in the morning, Angela, those early hours to do your show, what's the first thing you do?
05:23Grab my phone.
05:25But part of that is because that's my alarm.
05:27So my phone goes off.
05:28I grab my phone.
05:29And I do look at it real fast just to make sure, like, there was nothing urgent on there.
05:33Usually people don't text me, like, in the middle of the night unless it's important.
05:37And so I do just take a quick look at that.
05:39And then, I'm not going to lie, I check my bank account.
05:43I do that.
05:43Bam!
05:44I do.
05:45I don't know what it is.
05:46I try to see, like, if something hit that I was expecting.
05:49And I have a lot of different businesses.
05:51So that, I promise you, is the first thing I do.
05:53And then I put it down.
05:55I turn on the news and get in the shower.
05:56And that's how my morning always starts.
05:58But if I'm not working, I definitely will lay up in my bed for, like, hours.
06:03Um, co-sign on, just check the bank account.
06:07Two, four, five times a day.
06:09Just.
06:11But you know what?
06:12I want to get to that place.
06:14But part of it is because you want to make sure that nothing happened that wasn't supposed to happen, too.
06:19Well, no, no, no.
06:20What I mean is, right now, I'm the same.
06:23I'm checking my bank account every morning.
06:25I want to get to that place.
06:27Where you don't?
06:29You ain't got to worry about it.
06:31How much that costs, I don't know.
06:35I want to get to that place.
06:36But you know what?
06:37I'm still cheap, no matter what.
06:39I promise you, when I go shopping, I go right to the sale rack first.
06:42It doesn't matter, like, what I just closed or what's going on.
06:46I still want to see what's on sale first.
06:49I appreciate that.
06:50That's why she got a lot of money.
06:51And I'm going to ask her to hold some after this.
06:54So, Angela, do you ever just put everything away?
07:00What's your maximum time on your phone?
07:02What's the maximum time you decide you're going to be on social media, on Instagram,
07:06before you say, enough's enough.
07:07I can't keep doing this.
07:08Because it does affect how we move throughout the day.
07:12Some of us, not me, investigating boys and stuff, seeing who, like, you be on,
07:16you ever just snoop so hard on Instagram, you end up on somebody's cousin's auntie's grandma page?
07:22You be like, how did I get here?
07:24So, what do you do so that is not the case?
07:28Well, I'm really good at turning off an Instagram because I use it for work.
07:32And I find when I'm not working, I'm not really on it so much.
07:35And so, I try to make sure I'm really present in what I'm doing.
07:39And so, sometimes, like, even watching a TV or a movie, you end up on your phone,
07:44and then you don't even know what just happened on what you were watching on television.
07:47I try to make sure that I put that down.
07:49The other day, I left my phone in the juice bar, and I thought I lost it.
07:53I swore someone stole it.
07:54But I didn't have my phone for hours, and I felt so crippled.
07:58Like, I don't know what I'm going to do.
08:00I don't have my phone.
08:01How am I going to reach anybody?
08:02All my information is in there.
08:04And at the same time, it was kind of nice for a moment to not have anybody, like, reaching out to me.
08:10So, I will put my phone on do not disturb at times.
08:14You know, I go for a run in the park, and whenever I do that, I don't use my phone at all.
08:18Like, I listen to music, and I don't answer my phone if anybody's calling me.
08:22And people know at night, if you call me after, like, 10 o'clock, I'm probably not going to answer the phone.
08:27By the way, that's a good thing.
08:28You put priorities in place.
08:30Do you turn your phone off after a certain time?
08:33I don't necessarily turn my phone off, but I really do ignore my phone a lot.
08:38But I know where I'm supposed to be, where I'm being paid to be.
08:46So, anything else after that is kind of like I'll get to it when I get to it.
08:51So, even with these, listen, let me tell you what health and wellness looks like also.
08:59It looks like for a lot of us ladies, a vibrator.
09:02I'm sorry.
09:04I just have to, the reason why I have to say it is because you really have to focus on yourself and your business
09:10and getting wrapped up in folks that try to put you in circles and playing games,
09:14try to text you at night, W-Y-D, sleeping.
09:18That's what the W-Y-D I'm doing.
09:21You know, so it's for, I don't have to turn it off because when it comes to, like, the notifications,
09:29Twitter, Instagram, all that, I took all the notifications off my phone.
09:34So, I don't get notifications.
09:36It's more so about me scheduling time to check in with those things.
09:42I work a lot, okay, and I love to work.
09:46So, I just encourage myself to play just as much as I work.
09:49So, some man is being paid to rub me down at the end of the day.
09:53Correct.
09:54You know, one that will give you the actual massage, not that one, you know, not that slip and twist.
10:00When you said vibrator earlier, I was like, wait a minute, this just took a turn.
10:04Angela's like, join the podcast.
10:07No, but I'm absolutely serious because I have to tell you the ways in which I saw Oprah.
10:15There was a show, you know, it always comes back to Oprah sometimes.
10:17Always.
10:18You know, Oprah was having a conversation, and I believe that there were so many people, like, appalled about them talking to young women about masturbation and taking care of their own bodies.
10:29But people don't really understand about the time.
10:33And when you're able to please yourself and choose to have quality time with all the things you're doing, sometimes we don't realize how much these people are wasting your time.
10:46Time that could be spent.
10:47Making money.
10:48Making money.
10:49This is the wealth and power stage, and so that's what we're talking about.
10:55She's talking about your wealth and your power, and that is in all of these things, learning to say no, because if you feel like you should say no, you should say no.
11:04I can't pick you up from the airport.
11:06I can't go with you out tonight.
11:07I got to do something else.
11:09And it might be just staying at home and doing nothing.
11:11That is the biggest form of self-care.
11:13Like, staying at home and doing nothing, to me, is the most relaxing form of self-care.
11:19And a lot of us have anxiety, especially since the pandemic, and you don't know what it looks like.
11:23So if I wake up and I look at my phone, I get anxiety thinking about all the things that I must do in the day.
11:28Or if I wake up to a text and I am beefing with somebody, I don't know, whatever it may be, or in some type of, you know, debate, I get anxiety.
11:40And so I learn not to address it.
11:41And I think that you guys need to find out what your triggers are.
11:45So, Angela, what's a trigger for you when it comes to anxiety?
11:49Oh, man, there's so many.
11:51But I think for myself, it's when people don't – you know how you do so much, and then people get mad the first time you tell them you can't do something?
12:01And so I know a lot of times I put myself out there, and I try to really look out for people.
12:06And sometimes you don't get that in return, and sometimes people don't respect it when you have to say, no, I'm not able to do that.
12:15So that's really hard for me because I feel like it's disrespectful.
12:20And so sometimes for myself, like you said, saying no is so important for me to know how to be able to be like, okay, I just can't do that.
12:29If I don't automatically think, yes, this is something I want to do, and my first instinct is no, then I have to go with that.
12:35You know, I would say when it comes to anxiety, I've learned from different spiritual teachers, people who know more than I know.
12:43You know, when it comes to anxiety, a lot of times my onset has to do with being anxious about something that has not happened yet.
12:52Or being, like, in the past about some stuff and ruminating about something that already happened that I have no control over.
13:01So a lot of times to pull myself out of my anxiety, I have to really become aware of my present environment where everything's okay.
13:12Like, like, right now, I live in a beautiful home in the Hollywood Hills.
13:18Talk about it.
13:19You know what I'm saying?
13:19Listen.
13:20Give it up for her because we work hard, guys.
13:22It's okay, right?
13:23Listen.
13:24I love you too, baby.
13:26But listen, let me tell you, I'm renting the home, but that's my, but that's my, listen.
13:32Are we telling the truth and shame and the devil or are we not?
13:37Speaking of, listen, we're going to have a talk today.
13:39Speaking of, when we talk about wealth and health, one part of, like, anxiety, emotional health, all this different thing is, like, being honest about your emotions and what you feel.
13:52The more you're in denial about what you're actually feeling in a moment, even if it is anxiety that you're feeling, don't try to be superwoman or superman and be like, I ain't feeling nothing.
14:02That's actually working against yourself.
14:05So, again, when it comes to the anxiety, not worrying about what's in the future, not being stuck on what's in the past, and really looking, is there a problem right now?
14:13Because the reality is there are some problems.
14:15We're ready.
14:15There are some things we have to go tackle.
14:17But if it's not in that current moment, then that moment might be to rest, me to feed yourself, me to do other things, and worry about the battle when it's time to worry about that battle.
14:26I really appreciate that, because she's keeping it a buck.
14:30Both ladies are.
14:31Carrie Champion, Angelica Ross, Angela Yee, still up here talking.
14:35So, Angelica, I have to ask you this.
14:38Growing up, and I don't even know, this self-care word just became really popular.
14:42I don't even know what that is or even what it looks like, but I know what it feels like.
14:47It feels like I don't have any cares.
14:48It feels like I'm sitting with my friends, and we're having a great dinner, maybe drinking wine, hanging out with who met my boo, eating well, talking shit, all the things.
14:59I don't know if we can curse.
15:00What does it look like?
15:01Like, it's not something that is common knowledge, and I don't know if we really can identify it for someone else.
15:09So, what is that inner feeling?
15:11I think sometimes you, for part of my self-care, sometimes you do have to just break down,
15:16because we try to be really strong all the time.
15:19I'm okay.
15:19Everything's great.
15:20I'm empowered through it.
15:21But it's okay for you to just have, like, an emotional breakdown because you feel so much better afterward.
15:28And I know for myself, like, things can get really overwhelming, and sometimes everything goes wrong at once.
15:35And instead of me just trying to act like I'm okay and keep going through my day,
15:39sometimes you do just have to say, everything's canceled.
15:42I'm having a breakdown.
15:43I just need a moment.
15:44And just cry.
15:46And let it go.
15:47And then you feel so much better.
15:48And I think that's okay to be able to do that.
15:50People will be like, it's all right.
15:52You don't have to cry.
15:53It's okay to say, it's not all right.
15:54And, yes, I do have to cry.
15:57I like the idea of crying.
15:59Is it an all-day cry?
16:01Because men may not understand it.
16:02Is it a five-minute cry?
16:03No, all day is too exhausting.
16:05I just need a moment.
16:06That sounds like a lot.
16:07So, is it a five-minute in the shower?
16:08Is it a ten-minute cry in the shower?
16:10What is it?
16:10I think maybe like a half an hour of like being upset and then it's like, okay.
16:17I'm a very solution-oriented person.
16:21So, when I need a moment to just break down, I also, after that, I'm like, okay, I did that.
16:26Now, how can I start working on some things and find some solutions?
16:30Because no matter what in life, things go wrong all the time.
16:33And a lot of it is how you look at it.
16:35Like, I have so many things that are not happening right, but I'm like, okay, what can I do to turn this around?
16:41And that's always the way I look at things because I know that things don't last.
16:44When things are going bad, I know that it's temporary.
16:48And I know that it's up to me to kind of – and it's hard to get to that space.
16:52But for myself, I'm really good at saying, okay, let's find some solutions.
16:55I like that because if you have that mindset, self-care and wellness, wealth and power, the theme, has a lot to do with how we think.
17:04How hard has it been for you in this business, in this pioneering role, living your truth in such glory and making it look so fabulous?
17:16But I know it takes work mentally, physically, emotionally.
17:20I think, you know, most of the work is a work – and when we talk about self-care, we also need to wrap in the words self-worth
17:30and understanding that a lot of the conversation and wealth and all these different things have to do with you knowing your own value
17:37and understanding spiritual – in a spiritual space, understanding intrinsic value
17:44and understanding that every single person, regardless of how their body's abilities are, a different thing, everyone has value.
17:52You have value.
17:52I have value.
17:53But you're going to get yourself into a situation when you align with things that devalue other people
18:01because it's going to come back to you like a boomerang at some point.
18:04So we have to understand as we are building systems, our own capitalistic structures and business and things like that,
18:12but we still want to be homophobic or transphobic.
18:17Speak on it.
18:18Especially towards black people in our own communities.
18:20Just know that we don't get free that way.
18:23That's not what liberation looks like.
18:26And you're participating in a system that picks and chooses and oppresses in that way.
18:32So just know that if you are participating on a level of devaluation and still trying to claim blessings,
18:38it don't work that way.
18:40So you have to set the tone of valuation because this world puts a valuation on black bodies
18:46and says this is what you're worth and this is where you belong.
18:50And then you got black people who turn around and do the same thing to black, queer, and trans people
18:54saying that you're only valuable in this space.
18:59So just know that in order for us all to get free, we got to fight together.
19:05Men, you're going to have to stand up with women and trans folks in this time of Roe versus Wade being Roe back
19:11because that's the way in which we're not valuing black people and other people in our community.
19:15We can't have collective wealth if we're seeing some people as disposable when they're really valuable.
19:23It will show up in your own life.
19:25Trust me.
19:27Trust me.
19:27Self-worth, ladies and gentlemen.
19:29That was beautiful.
19:29Yes.
19:30That really was.
19:31The simple message is that we're all in this together.
19:35We are not separate.
19:36We really aren't.
19:37The days of separate but equal have long been over.
19:40And if we want to win and if we want to make our place in society, we all have to work together as a collective.
19:48Angela Yee is doing that day in and day out.
19:50I know you guys listen to her on The Breakfast Club.
19:52She's an entrepreneur.
19:53She has her own podcast.
19:55She often has great topics where she's trending, which I love.
19:59And I salute you, sister, because it's not easy.
20:02And I've watched you fight to get to the point where you know your self-worth.
20:05And I've watched you, too.
20:07So congratulations.
20:09Angelica Ross gave us a message, y'all, and I need you to get behind it.
20:12I really do.
20:13No judgment, no time for putting people in different pockets.
20:17We've got to do this.
20:18We're living in crazy times.
20:21And so we're here today to help you make sure that you understand what it means to have self-worth,
20:26make sure you employ self-care so that we can have wealth and power.
20:30Angelica Ross, Angela Yee, thank you guys so much.
20:33Thank you very much.
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