- 9 hours ago
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🛠️
LifestyleTranscript
00:00I cannot stress enough how much you are going to love this next guest.
00:13I have had the privilege of chatting with her backstage.
00:16I don't get to introduce her, but I get to introduce the person who's going to introduce her.
00:20So, without further ado, for our fireside chat is Essence Communications CEO, Caroline Wenga.
00:28First of all, I'm going to need some of y'all to move up like at church when they tell you, fill the front pew so you can be more blessed.
00:34Y'all don't care.
00:36So, I have the opportunity to introduce somebody and have a conversation with somebody that is completely aligned to my personal values.
00:45A black woman who recognized her talent and purpose in the world and chose to go into the world of country music whether she was accepted or not.
00:56So, if y'all will help me out, and even though all our cousins are out there, some of us are in here, we're also live streaming this and recording it for record.
01:04So, if you'll help me welcome, Sista, with an A-H, Mickey Guyton to have a conversation with me today.
01:10Come on, Mickey!
01:12Have a seat, but you know, one of the things that is true about what the Essence Festival of Culture does is that it gives us the fuel and ammunition we need to go back to where we're from, where we sometimes are an only.
01:34And what we get from this gives us the fuel to be maybe by ourselves, but not alone.
01:40Yes.
01:41You have been making me cry since I met you.
01:44You have no idea how much it means to be in this room full of people that look like me because I don't always get that.
01:51Yeah.
01:52And y'all, we're going to have a real, like, if she had had a hard day, I had had a hard day, and we had wine conversation.
01:58Yes.
01:59Okay?
02:00We're going to talk as black women in the way that we exist.
02:02Yes.
02:03So first of all, what is most important to me is for you to hear from me that as I did the press and all the things for this festival, I would get asked a question every time.
02:17Who are you looking forward to performing the most?
02:23And in every single one of those press moments, in whatever press venue it was, my answer was you.
02:32God damn it.
02:34Ugh.
02:35Let it get out.
02:36Your eyes got a leak so they can clean.
02:39But here's why I wanted you to know that.
02:42With other people on this stage that we may not think or people thought I was going to pick, let me tell you why it was you.
02:52Because I have lived a life where I spent so much time not doing the thing I knew I was born to do, because I didn't want to do it by myself.
03:04People backstage that help us do things, can you bring something that is cloth so my girl doesn't get her makeup on her dress.
03:10I feel so crying.
03:11With her leaking eyes.
03:12Her eyes are leaking.
03:14But here's my point.
03:16I spent a lot of time doing that and I know what it's like to live on the other side of having chosen that.
03:22But what I also know about that side of the journey, it is fearful, it is lonely, it is at times scary.
03:33Very.
03:34Sometimes regrettable.
03:35Is somebody bringing me something to put on my best right now?
03:38I am a best right now.
03:39I mean, who in the audience got some tissues?
03:41Somebody help us out.
03:42I'm going to do it with my hand in a minute.
03:45But I say that to you, love, and I know you're crying, but I'm okay with it.
03:52I can't stop crying.
03:53I'm okay with it because, and I'm going to ask you what's behind those tears first, but what I said when I said you were who I was looking forward to performing was because I know that all of the things I just said are true and yet you're still out there making music with your gift in spite of it all.
04:15Yes.
04:16And the resiliency, the perseverance, and the purpose it takes to do that is always going to be a favorite person of mine.
04:23Yes.
04:25So, sis, let's start with your reaction to that.
04:30What's behind that and what do you want this group to know about who you really are?
04:34Well, you know, I've been, um, when I started country music, I just, I had a love for it.
04:43And I, I didn't understand why there wasn't more of us in the genre.
04:47And when I first started, all I was focused on was making it.
04:52And I knew it was going to be hard, but I didn't realize it was going to be that hard.
04:56And as I was shifting and changing, I had asked my husband, I said, why do you think country music isn't working for me?
05:03And he said, because you're running away from everything that makes you different.
05:07And you're running away from your blackness.
05:09And it just gutted me when he said that, you know, as a woman that I studied black history in college, like, it's not like I wasn't aware of, of who I am.
05:21But I just got so caught up and just trying to fit in that I lost everything that I was.
05:27And in that moment, I stopped and I scrapped everything that I ever did.
05:33And like a week later, I wrote a song called Black Like Me.
05:37Yeah.
05:38That I was inspired by a book.
05:39Grammy-nominated, Grammy-nominated song called Black Like Me.
05:42Just had to add that to the front.
05:44Thank you all so much.
05:45And it was a song that was just personal for me.
05:50And what came from that song was so beautiful.
05:54But there was such a backlash that came from it that I still see to this day, that I see people, Karen, saying horrible things about me and have no idea who I am as a person.
06:09And that's hard.
06:10Do you want to share any of those horrible things?
06:13And here's why I'm asking you and you have the right to pass.
06:15You've been in this much longer than I have.
06:18But sometimes I don't even think that people who post those things understand that it's horrible things.
06:23It's horrible.
06:24I mean, where's my phone?
06:25Do you have some examples of things people posted that made you feel horrible?
06:28Yeah.
06:29Take your black ass out of country music.
06:31Don't you ghetto up country music.
06:33You effing N-word.
06:34You're ugly as fuck.
06:36I'm sorry.
06:37Am I allowed to say that?
06:38I don't know.
06:39Plus Christian.
06:40So I have no judgment over here.
06:41I am.
06:42Okay.
06:43Yeah.
06:44He's not done with you.
06:45I mean, today I had stuff.
06:47You loser.
06:48You couldn't make it in R&B, so you came over here.
06:51Wow.
06:52That kind of stuff.
06:54It's hard.
06:55And I got a lot of that right before I was about to give birth to my son.
07:01Oh, my goodness.
07:02There was a country artist that got caught saying the N-word on the ring camera.
07:07And for me, knowing that I was about to have a son, the last thing I want to do is my son grow up and know that his mother didn't say anything to protect him or stand up for other black people.
07:19And I called it out not knowing that it was going to cause this chain reaction.
07:24And the hate I got from that, I mean, I went into early labor because of that.
07:28Are you serious?
07:29Yeah.
07:30It was horrific.
07:31Your child's life was put in danger.
07:33Yeah.
07:34Yeah.
07:35Because of people posting.
07:36Yeah.
07:37Do y'all hear that?
07:38Do y'all hear that?
07:40One of the things when things like that are posted that I always wish but can't say is that those that love me will fight with those that hate me so that I can heal.
07:51Yeah.
07:52So you're in labor.
07:53Those are my tears, just hearing you and you saying those things to me.
07:57Yeah.
07:58I don't always get that.
07:59Yeah.
08:00Most of the time I don't.
08:01So I'm walking in with so much anxiety, not knowing what's going to come at me.
08:10I don't know.
08:11Most of the time it's love, but a lot of times it's not.
08:14And to be in a room like this, just to feel love, it's almost overwhelming for me.
08:21So we're going to get to the happy celebration stuff in a second.
08:25Yes.
08:26And I do think that part of why I wanted to start here is our celebration is often stunted because we haven't processed our stuff.
08:32Yes.
08:33Right.
08:34So you talked about living in this constant state of not knowing what's going to come at you while you're doing something you love.
08:40Yes.
08:41What do you put in your life to exist with that?
08:43Because I think there's people in the audience and people in other places that are living with something that's creating that for them that would love to hear how you manage that.
08:52Well, I managed it because, I mean, I'm still going through it every single day.
08:58Right, right, right, right.
08:59But I, the comfort comes from me knowing that I'm walking through this door and I, I really changed my way of thinking and I realized the only way to truly see change is that we all have to walk through this door together.
09:13Yeah.
09:14Yeah.
09:15And I'm right.
09:16You are.
09:17I'm seeing the change.
09:18I'm seeing several black country artists that are getting their opportunities.
09:22There's not, I'm no longer the only black female signed to a major record deal.
09:26There's two more.
09:27I love that.
09:28What are their names in case our family doesn't know them?
09:31Yes.
09:32There is Britney Spencer and a girl named Tiara Kennedy.
09:34Okay.
09:35Britney and Tara, we see you.
09:36Yes.
09:37And, and, and just to see the constant black presence in these spaces because country music did really come from black people like every other genre.
09:46Can you teach just each another, each another here need to hear, let's just teach each other what you mean by that statement.
09:52So when I first walked into the country music hall of fame in Nashville, you know, I walked through the whole, the country music hall of fame.
10:00And some of the first things you see in that building was black people on the porch picking and playing on their porch.
10:11Like when it was black and white.
10:13Yeah.
10:14So that was one of the first thing you see in the banjo came from Africa.
10:18So there wouldn't be country music without the banjo and some of the very first country artists studied under black musicians.
10:27Here's what I love about that.
10:29Right.
10:30You walk into a museum, you see the history, you know that black was at the foundation of the music.
10:36And at the same time, you're managing a hate about being black and the music we founded.
10:41Yes.
10:42But then you are here just using your good little voice, getting all these little awards of recognition, singing Star Spangled Banner.
10:49What I admire, sis, is what it means to carry that many bricks in your bag and still win the race.
10:57We are proud of you.
11:00Give her the fuel for the next hater that's coming.
11:02Thank you all so much.
11:03We are so proud of you.
11:06And from this day forward, somebody come at you on social, I'm going to show up like, hey, come over here.
11:14I really appreciate that.
11:16So let's talk about the celebratory side of this.
11:18Yes.
11:19Let's talk about the joy side of this.
11:21You get a phone call or a text or an Instagram message.
11:26I don't know how they communicate Grammys because I've never been nominated for one.
11:32But you get informed that the song Black Like Me, that came from a place that didn't have a ton of clarity as you were working through it, has been nominated for a Grammy.
11:46And I was pregnant.
11:48And you was pregnant.
11:51How do you feel in that moment?
11:56You know, it was really a surreal moment.
11:59It didn't feel real because we were still stuck in the four walls of our home.
12:03So I remember I was sitting there.
12:04It was in COVID.
12:05Yeah.
12:06So I was working and I was doing the announcements for the Grammy nominees.
12:11And I was sitting there and I was wondering why all these people are around me like, turn it up, turn it up.
12:16And I'm like pregnant, like trying to make sure I'm hot, I'm uncomfortable.
12:21You know, and then they said, Mickey Guyton, Black Like Me, best country performance.
12:26And it was just like, just so emotional because I dreamed of that as a little girl.
12:31And I never thought in a million years, even when I wrote Black Like Me, by the way, when I wrote that song and sent that to my publisher and sent that to people on my record label that were white, a lot of the times I didn't get a response back for like 48 hours.
12:46I'm not kidding.
12:47Wow.
12:48Sometimes not a response at all.
12:49Not because I don't think they appreciated the song, but I think they just didn't know how to process it.
12:56And it was a lot for everybody to hear.
12:58Yeah.
12:59Yeah.
13:00So on your social media bio, there is a sentence I want to read.
13:07I'm a four time Grammy nominated baby mama and wife who won't just shut up and sing.
13:19Period.
13:20Full stop.
13:21Not a comma.
13:23This is a season where black is under attack.
13:27Yes, it is.
13:28Societally.
13:29It's terrifying.
13:30So when you say you won't just shut up and sing.
13:34When you say you wrote Black Like Me because of your black experience and its connection to your gifting and desire to sing country music.
13:42What advice do you give to those of us that are living in the black world that is attacking us differently than you are getting attacked, but is an attack nonetheless?
13:51Because that is what we're all living in right now.
13:54What would be your guidance, your advice, your sharing about how to deal with the blacks, the black lash.
14:02Yes, that is the black lash.
14:03That's happening right now.
14:04The black lash.
14:05That's happening.
14:06You know, we all have jobs respectively.
14:10We're all in spaces where I'm assuming there's not a lot of us in each of these spaces.
14:16And what I've done in my personal profession was mentorship and doing everything that I can to see people of color and marginalized people and help them in every way that I can to give them the same opportunities.
14:33Because when we're all winning, that is change.
14:36And I think that that is where we can all, within our respective careers, find success.
14:43Like that other person that looks like you is not your enemy.
14:48That person, we all have the same experiences.
14:52We may be from different parts of life, but we have all had the same experiences of racism, of not being seen, not being heard, being in rooms where you're not even considered, where you're not even a thought, where they can't even say your name right.
15:07Yeah.
15:08And they don't try.
15:09How did they mess up your name?
15:10Because that's joyful.
15:11Please give me a couple.
15:13They haven't messed up mine.
15:14They haven't messed yours up yet?
15:15They haven't messed up mine, but I've heard it.
15:16They haven't messed up mine, but I've heard it.
15:17I'm often Carolyn Wang.
15:18Oh, my God.
15:19They're a little surprised when I show up.
15:21Go ahead.
15:22But that happens.
15:24It does.
15:25But I feel like that is a form of protest, is like really coming together and succeeding together.
15:32Yeah.
15:33And succeeding in these companies together, finding ways to lift each other up within your company and your profession.
15:40Yeah.
15:41See each other.
15:42Yeah.
15:43We can't rely on anybody else.
15:44And there are people, we do truly have allies.
15:47Yes.
15:48But we can't rely on anybody but ourselves.
15:51Truly.
15:52Yes.
15:53So I'm going to close this in a little bit of a different way than people normally do.
15:57We talked about how you're existing in a space where your purpose is drawing things that are very hurtful and horrible.
16:07In those darkest moments, in those toughest moments, what do you wish you would hear the black community say to you or for you?
16:18When you're sitting in that moment, you're like, I just wish somebody would say.
16:22What is that that you wish they would say?
16:25You know, just the support that you're showing.
16:32I see you.
16:33And I do get that.
16:34Yeah.
16:35I have had horrible things said to me.
16:38And people like Amanda Seals has come to my defense and brought so many people there loving and encouraging me.
16:46And just supporting streaming our music, showing up to our shows.
16:51That is, that's what you can do, which y'all have been doing.
16:55What you did for me back there and had me crying.
16:57Yeah.
16:58Like that's all, like that for me fuels me and gives me so much strength because sometimes I don't always feel like I've got it.
17:06With everything that's going on in this country, I do feel alone.
17:10I think we all feel alone at the time.
17:12Yeah.
17:13Yeah.
17:14So you just saying that just gave me such strength.
17:16And what words did I say to you?
17:18You said I see you.
17:20So audience, I need your help with something as we let our sister go and continue to be fabulous.
17:26I'm going to count to three.
17:28And when I count to three, with every part of your voice that's going to be screaming tonight on the stage when she takes it, I need you to say we see you and we love you.
17:37You hear me?
17:38All right.
17:39It's a full three, two, not the other kind of three.
17:44All right.
17:45We could do this.
17:46I believe in us.
17:47We're going to say we see you and we love you.
17:51All right.
17:52One, two, three.
17:54One, two, three.
17:55We see you and we love you.
17:58Ladies and gentlemen.
17:59Thank y'all so much.
18:00Mickey guidance.
18:01I love you guys.
18:02Thank y'all so much.
18:03Thank y'all.
18:04Thanks for coming, babe.
18:05Love you.
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