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00:00You
00:12You know people mistake their needs being satisfied for freedom, but when it drinks this well, who are we to argue?
00:19Did you know I was a lagavulin man?
00:21Just wish you'd sent a revolver instead. Oh, well, you're gonna get that next week. You can quote Stern Tau's view.
00:27The shares are trading above fair value and stand to correct me.
00:29I have more valuable sources than a barely nascent fund to quote.
00:32Especially as you're yet to give me anything more material on tender, other than what I already have.
00:37Look, I think they're processing pawn and gambling payments in jurisdictions where it's illegal and using third-party acquisitions to wash them.
00:44Even though Halperstrom is moved, they may wind up those income sources.
00:47Well, shit. I will give you a quote.
00:49Stern Tower actively pursuing tender as a potential short among other positions.
00:54Yeah, my article isn't a cotillion for your new venture.
00:57Are you calling tender fraudulent or not?
00:59I mean, I don't think I'll get the F word past my editor.
01:01Is there a not insignificant chance that your piece gets gutted or squashed by legal?
01:06No. The worst case scenario is the moral armist language is sanded down.
01:09I view it as the first in a potential series.
01:11I'm trying to get financial sign-off from my editor for under-ground reconnaissance further afield.
01:16Can I be blunt? Are you short tender in a personal account?
01:19Excuse me?
01:20Do you stand to gain financially by speaking negatively about them?
01:23I saw your piece about getting fleeced with FTX.
01:25I'd understand if you were looking for shortcuts to rebuild your life.
01:29You know what? I am rebuilding my life through my honest work.
01:31All right? Certainly not by being naive enough to go back to the thing that burned me.
01:35I don't even have an active trading account anymore.
01:37Doesn't sound like you're on your way to our new investor breakfast.
01:40Eric, I would have been excited to have come and listened to you and Harper.
01:47Unforgettably forgettable memories from the Pierpoint killing floor.
01:50Well, we're calling ourselves Stern Cow.
01:53Between you and me.
01:54A short only funds a little high risk for us at the railway pension scheme.
01:58Well, if there's any more protein on the illegal payments laundering thesis, I want it.
02:02Yeah, you know, this isn't how this relationship works.
02:04Hello?
02:04I hope your son gets your money's worth at Yale, and don't worry.
02:07He'll come back to you eventually.
02:09Do you really believe that?
02:10For a loan, yeah.
02:12Just trying to find common ground with the guy.
02:14What is this, the Deadbeat Dad's Club?
02:17I think this might be too intimate a space to be working together.
02:20Who are you on the phone to?
02:22I don't know.
02:23I don't know.
02:24I don't know.
02:25I don't know.
02:26I don't know.
02:27I don't know.
02:28I don't know.
02:29I don't know.
02:30I don't know.
02:31The railway pension scheme was long odds anyway.
02:36They don't have that kind of appetite for risk.
02:39The, uh, composition of our audience who've confirmed for breakfast, family offices,
02:44high net worth individuals.
02:46Dumb money.
02:48You lead us off.
02:50I'll fill in the gaps.
02:52Okay.
02:54Oh, why don't you fuck my mouth with your tongue like that?
03:04I know I pull you back.
03:06Sorry.
03:07I just wanted to tell you that Jennifer Bevan's here.
03:11You're 9am.
03:12Great.
03:13Thanks, Heidi.
03:14Yeah.
03:15You can't talk like that in here.
03:21I can.
03:22And I will.
03:23Uh, now, you need to focus on the societal benefit angle of the app.
03:28Financial well-being, but I also think that we should really use this time with Bevan
03:32to highlight the muck renaissance.
03:34You know?
03:35Just as much as you feel comfortable with.
03:37Men shouldn't feel the stigma when talking about their mental health.
03:40That kind of thing.
03:41Once you see through me, I don't know.
03:43Weaponizing my trauma.
03:44But, Henry, narrative is important.
03:47I mean, people are gonna narrativize this for you, so you might as well control it.
03:52She saw you at your worst.
03:55She's gonna be feeding back to government, so we just need to build her trust in you.
03:59Yeah, Whitney and the tender board trust me, and that's what matters.
04:02I mean, they made me CEO for fuck's sake, but this isn't about me.
04:05This is about the details of the company, and in the immediacy, it's about getting the
04:10IBM-Bauer merger over the line with the regulator.
04:12No, no, look, if I make it too personal, I'll just put my fucking foot in my mouth.
04:17Darling, you are the company.
04:22You're the head and the heart.
04:24It's all about you.
04:26I'd be dead without you.
04:29You know that?
04:30I'd be dead without you.
04:31You know that?
04:33You know that?
04:33I'm not.
04:34I'm not.
04:35I'm not.
04:36You know that.
04:37I'm not.
04:38You know that.
04:39Tender's ambitions predate me.
04:41You know, I never made any attempt to cover up my failure at Lumi, nor have I oversold
04:52my successful, if short-lived, political career.
04:57These are the vicissitudes of life in the arena as I see it.
05:00Jennifer, you and Henry are on the same page.
05:03I mean, you surely know what it's like to live in the firing line
05:06simply because you care enough to be engaged.
05:09You know what?
05:12If you want to talk about me, let's talk about me.
05:16I could talk about my profound struggles with mental health,
05:20my family's barbaric history.
05:23I could talk about the fact I most likely wouldn't be sat here
05:26if my wife hadn't have pulled me out of a pretty dark hole after the election.
05:31But your party consistently voted to underfund access to mental health on the NHS.
05:36Yeah, and if you check my record,
05:38you'll see that I defied a three-line whip to oppose that legislation.
05:43Jenny, you saw the worst of it.
05:46Yeah, look, I'm...
05:48I had to be told how appalling I was to you,
05:53and I have never felt such...
05:55Henry, your letter said it all.
05:59I know the cycles.
06:00My brother also had issues with alcohol.
06:02It's day by day.
06:04Yeah.
06:06Anyway, I want to make your voters' lives a little easier,
06:10and a banking licence will allow tenders to do just that.
06:14First, you need to let us buy this bank.
06:15The business secretary is going to reason that tender's merger with a European bank,
06:22like IBM Bauer, is anti-competitive.
06:25Consolidation of the banking and fintech sectors across Europe.
06:29Yeah, well, we don't sell it to Lisa like that.
06:31We sell it to her and the regulator as the consumer being given a fresh choice,
06:36away from fossilised institutions,
06:38and maybe even an opportunity for a post-Brexit relationship with the European banking sector.
06:44Wait, let's talk about Brexit.
06:45Yeah, look, nobody believes we can be the next Silicon Valley.
06:49Nobody believes that we can attract that kind of direct foreign investment
06:54because of your government's over-regulation.
06:57Every day for the past month, I've walked these floors,
07:00and working with our team, I have never felt more strongly
07:04that this is our chance to be a genuine leader in a new frontier.
07:08Yeah. You guys can own it.
07:12Let tender help you help the government push through the merger.
07:18We're 100% net short.
07:21Fads, secular losers, five to ten poor shorts,
07:24with smaller satellite positions in sector overlay.
07:27Running that concentrated, you could get taken out by one position.
07:31The market's way too volatile to be taking the large short directional bet.
07:34Bonkers.
07:35Short only. You've essentially given up before you've even started.
07:37You want differentiation.
07:41You see a market that only goes up.
07:43We see a target-rich environment.
07:46The family offices that you invest for,
07:48the clients that you represent,
07:50demand an uncorrelated return profile.
07:53High risk, high reward.
07:56I've worked with Harper for many years.
07:58That's a bone-deep moneymaker.
08:02I know her as the woman who petulantly gated her fund.
08:07Or the woman who orchestrated her freedom so she could be stood in front of you today.
08:12Tell me Stern Tau isn't just two people.
08:15Where's the team?
08:16Who's your trader?
08:18In truth, I feel a little disappointed.
08:21I was very excited to meet you both, but...
08:26You've either got a shot that puts the cat inside the pigeon, or you don't.
08:33Who says I don't have that idea?
08:35Eric didn't misspeak about secular losers.
08:41Broken business models, okay.
08:44Slightly sketchy management teams, fine.
08:48But my real passion lies with finding dead men walking.
08:54Where the base case is a total re-evaluation and re-rating of the equity story.
08:59We have our eyes on tender.
09:14The market is treating that as a growth stock.
09:17What exactly is your thesis?
09:19We have fundamental misgivings about their core offering.
09:23Too high risk for such a generalized, detail-poor take.
09:28Pierre, anyone who wants to place money with us will have full access to our researched view
09:34above and beyond cursory remarks at an introductory breakfast.
09:42On our IBM Bauer merger, the Prudential Regulation Authority dragging their heels
09:47has allowed a quiet noise in Vienna to develop into a bit of a din.
09:51Given the family voted in favor of the merger,
09:53I thought this was a non-issue I could handle personally without it reaching you.
09:57But the Bauer family still represents two board seats.
10:00Moritz and his mother have been audibly relitigating the concerns they raised when we were negotiating.
10:06They've now asked for a sit-down with your executive team.
10:08His opposition is immaterial.
10:10There was a majority vote.
10:11Moritz and his mother voted to sell their family bank.
10:14It's a legacy board seat.
10:15They're paid to have no issues.
10:16They're paid to shut the fuck up.
10:17Yeah, we can't strike such a hostile tone.
10:20Look, look, we have to act quickly here.
10:21The meeting with the regulator is tomorrow, and we need that banking license.
10:24Bevan's in hand, but Dern will be a harder nut to crack.
10:27But this is all for the fucking birds, unless IBM Bauer follow through and sell.
10:31Who's the agitator, the son or the mother?
10:33The son.
10:34Moritz's issue is security.
10:35Says he fears the data of IBM banking clients being targeted, harvested, what have you, post-merger.
10:41Ah, it's ludicrous.
10:42Our anti-fraud systems are state-of-the-art, and they're an antiquated Austrian bank.
10:46Didn't the Bowers finance the Reich?
10:48It's a bit late to be growing our conscience in GDPR issues in 2026.
10:52They've given huge financial support to show our survivors tens of millions.
10:57No varnish.
10:58Am I reading this guy's an alpine fuckboy of an outside sense of his own relevance and recourse?
11:03Sorry to add my voice here, but in my experience, testy family members respond well to a bit of FaceTime.
11:10An ego massage.
11:12Exactly.
11:13Support scaffold for delusions of his own grandeur.
11:16Working title for my biographer.
11:19In all seriousness, we can't risk postponement or, God forbid, pay the termination fees if this thing falls apart.
11:26I think if they've asked, we should all go.
11:29You know?
11:29Multiple faces will make them feel important and heard.
11:33End in my ears, pretend we're listening.
11:35Come back, deal with the regulator.
11:37Henry.
11:38No, no, no, no.
11:39No.
11:39It's his executive decision.
11:42Sorry, I don't mean to be too direct, but what capacity are you in this room exactly?
11:47Oh, um, she's a paid consultant.
11:50And, uh, and we need her here.
11:52That tender idea, was that just contrarianism, or do you think there's a there there?
12:10I read that they're in the process of acquiring an Austrian bank.
12:16I got a tip that there might be more going on underneath the hood.
12:20What do you mean, a fucking tip?
12:22A journalist shared an unpublished hypothesis.
12:25Does he or his employer have enough cachet that the market will care?
12:29Or is he just a self-published scribbler?
12:32No, he works for Fin Digest.
12:33Why the fuck is he leaking this stuff piecemeal to you?
12:37Well, the ethical blowback for him could be huge.
12:41He's sending pre-publication questions to tender, but I don't know when he's publishing.
12:45How much does a stock re-rate when a market darling's been proven to be overvalued?
12:49Well, the operative word there is proven.
12:58You can't kill a blue chip with a thousand cuts from some reporter.
13:01Look at Herbalife.
13:04Looks like a pyramid scheme, smells like a pyramid scheme.
13:07Ackman intellectually lays out how it functions as one.
13:13Maybe that's the truth, but what good is the truth?
13:16If you got timing, you got Herbalife's PR machine, you got Carl Icahn talking up the
13:22other side of the trade.
13:25How good a storyteller are you?
13:28And how long can you sustain the story?
13:33Without a smoking gun, you will lose.
13:37Ackman closed out Herbalife, he lost.
13:45So can we prove it, and then can we be loud enough?
13:51Short only work is ugly.
13:53Hard, investigative, it's anti-status quo, anti-establishment, anti-power.
14:01Which part of that is meant to be a problem for us?
14:10No, no, no, hold on a sec.
14:16We have just sent pre-publication questions.
14:18Who the fuck is this duiker guy?
14:19Where's he getting it from?
14:20I asked his conjecture.
14:21Yeah, well, he says, with these figures in mind, it cannot be ruled out that Tender continues
14:26to process illicit transactions, including gambling and pornography payments through
14:32African jurisdictions where such services are legal for non-residents.
14:36I mean, is he saying we're being willfully blind to money laundering, or is it intentional?
14:40Which is it?
14:41What he demonstrates is his incompetence in reading a balance sheet with as many moving
14:44parts as ours.
14:45They're not giving this guy oxygen.
14:46You know why?
14:47More than likely, he's had some rogue, trumped-up reports slipped in by some amateur short seller
14:51looking to make a quick buck day trading our shares when this grubby little piece gets
14:54airtime.
14:55How...
14:56How can you be so sure?
14:58I guarantee he's talking to someone in the hedge fund community.
15:00It happens all the time in the retail space of celebrated stories.
15:04Is market manipulation pure and simple?
15:05There's no large institutional short base for good reason.
15:08Okay, well, what's our response?
15:10Robust legal action, if needs be.
15:12Regardless of their accusation, I'll draft up an airtight response.
15:16Their in-house legal will be pushing back on a lot of this pre-publication.
15:20I think we don't engage.
15:21A story like this could threaten the merger.
15:23Moritz doesn't need another rock to throw.
15:25Jasmine, what do you think?
15:26Well, you know, I don't have the qualifications, but, um, yeah, I'd say to Whitney's point,
15:35a blanket statement, if they publish, the allegations are spurious, etc.
15:39Yeah, leave it there.
15:40It even sees daylight.
15:42The story ends where we say it ends.
15:44Can I talk to you privately?
15:47Yeah.
15:48Okay, thank you.
15:49Uh, I'll catch up with you.
15:51Meet us at Farnburg, darling.
15:52The plane sets off in two hours.
15:54Um, um, I have a confession to make.
16:06Mm-hmm.
16:07Well, yeah.
16:08Anything you say stays with me.
16:11I nearly slept with the journalist asking those questions.
16:16He, like, followed me, like, into a club, and I think I fell asleep, and I don't really
16:28remember the play-by-play.
16:29Wait, what, so what, he forced himself on you?
16:32No.
16:33No, not, not really at all.
16:35I mean, I was pretty fucked up.
16:42Did you fuck him?
16:46Did you answer any of his questions?
16:47No.
16:48I hate when men try and take something that isn't theirs.
16:59Um, well, thanks for telling me.
17:11I like this transparency, and of course I, um, I won't tell anyone.
17:17Yeah.
17:18Well, when we get there, feel free to explore Vienna tonight.
17:22Have the night off.
17:23Oh, well, I'm Whitney and Henry's EA, so I need to hear it from either of them.
17:29Mm.
17:30Great.
17:31Okay.
17:32Eric, I got us lunch.
17:37Eric?
17:40Are you her?
17:43Who?
17:44You.
17:45Lara?
17:46Lily.
17:47Damn.
17:48You're, like, so grown compared to what was in my head.
17:53You shouldn't really be thinking about me.
17:56Tell, tell mom you, uh, enjoyed yourself.
18:07I will.
18:08I did.
18:09Mostly.
18:10Okay.
18:21Bye.
18:22Bye.
18:26Chase.
18:27Where is the operation normal guy going?
18:30Because having a twin was better at stuff, like sports and socializing fosters a bloody
18:37resentment of the world.
18:38Who knew?
18:40You have siblings?
18:43I got somewhere with brokers and trading lines.
18:49I spoke with Kenny.
18:50Goldman still?
18:52I'm not sure how he'd feel about covering me
18:56since I fired him on a hangover.
18:58Deutsche Bank.
19:00Fuck, ouch.
19:02Hope he didn't fall off the wagon.
19:04The 3 p.m. is here.
19:07So this is your set-up?
19:09Yeah, it's a little lo-fi.
19:11Eric handles the overhead.
19:13It's mostly club sandwiches and fries.
19:16How was Marston's?
19:18Ooh.
19:20Hmm.
19:21Misogyny swings between patronizing and lecherous.
19:26God.
19:27I don't know.
19:28Sometimes I feel like, um,
19:31cherry pie left on the windowsill.
19:34It's a bunch of men running around
19:35hitting themselves over the head with a hammer
19:37like fucking cartoon wolves.
19:40Yeah.
19:42Well, it's my own fault, so...
19:45Hey.
19:47No, it's not.
19:49No, it's not.
19:51That siren leak was not your fault.
19:53You did something for you,
19:54and some asshole made it not for you,
19:57and I hope he fucking suffers for it.
20:02When you sent me that email about Tender,
20:04you piqued my interest,
20:05and you know what I'm like.
20:06I couldn't stop looking.
20:07Must-in would never.
20:08Tender's IPO deck from two years ago compare it to their annual report.
20:13What am I looking at?
20:14They use euphemisms about the kind of payments they're processing.
20:17Emotional content is porn.
20:18Gaming is gambling.
20:20Clearly that is a key source of their revenue back then,
20:23but since the IPO and over the next five years,
20:25the EMEA region is maturing into a key driver of their growth.
20:29And that's not possible?
20:30No, I'm not saying it's not possible for EMEA acquisitions to drive growth.
20:34I'm saying that this constant erratic evolution of their strategy
20:39isn't even slightly reflected in their projections.
20:43So much risk isn't baked into the share price.
20:46Hi, Ken Sweepy!
20:48Hi!
20:49Hi, Eric!
20:50So, if your thesis is correct,
20:54they're still continuing to process illegal payments,
20:57even though they've made overtures that they're stepping away from this
21:00as their core business.
21:02I mean, in any case,
21:03it's primed for a mega correction and re-rating.
21:06Analysts are recommending 25 buys to sells.
21:10Mmm.
21:11Incentive and groupthink.
21:12The star fintech analyst at MS, he's just upgraded.
21:14A couple of smaller places followed.
21:16The market's reading Muck's appointment as a positive catalyst.
21:19Not sure why.
21:20Even a basket case could win,
21:22if enough influence wanted it to.
21:24Yeah.
21:25Well, nobody wants to stand in front of a moving train.
21:27Nobody wants to get off it when it's full of cash.
21:33My pleasure.
21:34We would love you to come on full-time.
21:36Hm.
21:37I don't know if you can make head or tell of it, but it's what you asked for.
21:44Anywhere is fine.
21:45What the...
21:46Sorry, what the fuck is he doing here?
21:48No, genuinely stay the fuck away from me.
21:53Honestly.
21:54I am not staying.
21:55You're working with this piece of shit.
21:57We're helping him out a little.
21:58You're...
22:00Um...
22:02This guy is a fucking psychotic liar.
22:05A fucking pathological degenerate.
22:08I've read every horrible detail.
22:10Sweet Pea, relax.
22:11Don't tell me to fucking relax.
22:12He's a fucking murderer.
22:13Well, I'm not, okay?
22:14I'm not a murderer.
22:15Please.
22:16Please just stay the fuck away from me.
22:18I'm not a murderer!
22:22If you put me in a room with this cunt again,
22:24you will never hear from me again.
22:25Okay?
22:26Yeah.
22:27Yeah.
22:36Looks good.
22:38Hello.
22:39Welcome.
22:40Please come with me.
22:41Let's...
22:42I'll give you sex.
22:43I'll get you off.
22:44I'll just go fucking you.
23:03Moritz.
23:04Good morning.
23:05Good morning.
23:06Good morning.
23:07And his new CEO, Henry Muck.
23:08I...
23:09Moritz Santebauer.
23:10I think we had mutual friends at Winchester.
23:13I was unlucky enough to spend five years at Harrow.
23:16I tell you, for every genuine homosexual,
23:19nine are created by British boarding schools.
23:22And his wife, Yasmin?
23:24I also do some comms consulting for Henry's office.
23:27A pleasure.
23:28It's a pleasure.
23:29My mother, Princess Johanna.
23:33Welcome.
23:36It's a pleasure.
23:37Well, look, um...
23:39Moritz, we're here to assure you that we will be dutiful custodians of your family's baggage...
23:44Part of the depredations of neoliberal late capitalism is there is no central authority to appeal to.
23:52Just a patchwork of economic zones to facilitate capital flight.
23:56We'll be subsumed unhappily and say,
23:59Ah, it's the free market.
24:01This is supposed to happen.
24:03Well, Tender doesn't want you to be unhappy.
24:07Happiness is a full stomach, Mr. Albestram.
24:09So, let's save this conversation for dinner, yeah?
24:12What a splendid idea of yours.
24:14Allow me to show you to your rooms.
24:16Please, after you.
24:17Oh, fantastic.
24:18Hello, you've reached Tender.
24:21Your call is important to us.
24:23Please continue to hold while we find the next available operator.
24:27What are you looking for?
24:28Uh, I don't know, actually.
24:30Patterns and Tender's payment transaction history routed through their EMEA acquisitions.
24:36Didn't you tell me you had plans tonight?
24:38This shit ain't going anywhere.
24:40Yeah, I'm not sure that I should.
24:43Not sure you should.
24:45Is it a dude?
24:46Go.
24:48Operation Normal Girl.
24:50Go.
24:51I've tried calling four of the payment processors they acquired in Africa.
24:55Every time I was put on this eternal fucking hold through Tender's Dublin call center.
25:01Ugh.
25:02It's endless.
25:03Fuck you.
25:04Shut up.
25:05I genuinely feel like I'm losing my grip on reality.
25:11Pierre called.
25:14Good news is he thinks Tender, at the very least, feels toppy.
25:21Bad news is he wants quite specific terms and structure.
25:26How aggressive?
25:27He wants a first loss arrangement.
25:31Pierre acts as guarantor.
25:33I put up $10 million.
25:35He puts up $90.
25:36But the first $10 million the fund loses is my $10 million.
25:42Depending on how our main position performed, I might have to liquidate my family office.
25:51My girl's inheritance.
25:54I would literally never ask you to do that.
25:58Don't really see where that leaves the health of our little venture here then.
26:03Unless we find our short-raced capital and put a team together, we're gonna be stalled on the launch pad.
26:09We don't even have a trader for fuck's sake.
26:11Maybe get the fuck out of here for a bit.
26:13I want to work.
26:15Hey, I've lived a life where everything is work.
26:19I've lived a life where everything is leisure.
26:21I'm telling you.
26:22For a few hours on Tuesday evening, there's a middle ground.
26:26There's a middle ground.
26:28This is all gonna be here when you get back.
26:43I just came to settle you in.
26:46I hope you feel comfortable.
26:48I put you in my favorite room.
26:50It's full of our Habseeligkeiten.
26:53Do you know this word?
26:55Well, you know, literally translated it means possessions closest to your soul.
27:10It's beautiful.
27:13Well, if you need anything, just let me know.
27:22I admire the UK system.
27:27The pendulum swings, of course, but at least you don't muzzle insurgents.
27:34Well, your mother tells me that you are a bit of a historian.
27:37Most of our political quagmire can be answered by the early modern period.
27:41That's why my political hero is Louis Quatorze.
27:45All answers lie with the Sun King.
27:47I don't think I've ever heard anyone say that.
27:52Anyone with eyes can see Western liberalism has failed.
27:58Decades of political gridlock.
28:01Partisan divisions accelerated by social media.
28:05A short-term policy driven by a need to win elections.
28:09The most successful central government in the world today functions as an absolute monarchy,
28:14and for that calls itself communism.
28:16Okay, Moritz, this isn't very riveting dinner conversation.
28:21Oh, Ioana, please, sit down. We can't have you wait on us.
28:25Oh, please, it's an absolute privilege.
28:28Oh, I read your sub stack.
28:31I'm flattered.
28:33Uh, fragmentation and the acceleration of atomization.
28:36It is killing us as a species.
28:38Uh, take any successful corporation in America.
28:41They're not a collectivist enterprise.
28:43They're dictatorships.
28:44And why do Foxconn and many industrial parks need worker suicide nets?
28:49All I'm saying is that they are not democracies.
28:53Sad.
28:55That we must always wash up on the reef of politics.
28:58Oh, I couldn't agree more.
29:00So, bon appetit.
29:04Although, for me, my, uh, politics and my business, to the extent to which it still is mine,
29:14are one and the same.
29:16What some see as protectionism, isolationism, I see as respect for tradition.
29:25Ibn Bauer is a 300-year-old institution.
29:28I'm concerned this merger represents a threat to our customers' privacy.
29:35I do know how fast and loose modern fintech companies play with their customers' data.
29:41Moritz, um, this merger represents growth for both parties.
29:51We respect the past, um, but we will drag Ibn Bauer into the future.
29:57I'm speaking to Julian Wurschläger and others on the board to ensure that this merger receives the full scrutiny it deserves,
30:07even if that means re-engaging the Austrian regulator around data protection.
30:11Train has left the station.
30:14You thought because I am a small individual voice the weight of your capital would bury me?
30:19You voted for this and you'll be compensated incredibly well.
30:21Uh, it's always money, Mr. Halberstram.
30:26Moritz, it's enough said.
30:28Tell me your mommy.
30:30I never mean to embarrass you.
30:31I know, Shatzi.
30:32You just have to be practical and just humor him.
30:35There's practicality and then there's acquiescing to some tin-pot type.
30:39Fine, he's a bit of an intellectual suit.
30:41No, no, no. He's a fucking fascist.
30:43Make his guests.
30:44You want me to fucking call him out in front of his mouth?
30:46What about that thinly-veiled anti-Semitism, hmm?
30:48That's not what that was. Come on.
30:50Whitney.
30:51I saw one whose last name's Nani.
30:52He seemed pretty relaxed.
30:53I need to fly out as early as possible.
30:55But this is now a life issue.
30:57I don't think it's a very bright idea
30:58to just abandon the problem and hope for the best.
31:00Yeah, well, we can't no-show with the regulator.
31:02We have to fly out first thing.
31:04Okay, I'm staying. I insist.
31:06You're lucky why I'm such a brave insist.
31:08Hm.
31:09Hm.
31:24Hey.
31:25Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
31:26Sitting here for 15 fucking minutes.
31:28Bro.
31:29Hold up.
31:30All civilizations have risen and fallen in 15 minutes.
31:36Hey, hey.
31:37I was joking.
31:38What the fuck?
31:39I'm trying to build a business.
31:40I don't have 15 minutes.
31:42So for the two I plan to stand right here,
31:44I might as well tell you that I fucked somebody else.
31:48Okay.
31:51Okay, you don't care?
31:53What, in the last 15 minutes?
31:55Remind me never to be late again.
32:00Were you gonna say that before I was late?
32:04Is it even true?
32:05Are you not sleeping with other people?
32:08No.
32:11Not as far as I'm aware.
32:16Okay.
32:17Do you wanna put a pin in this then?
32:20I just thought we were hanging out.
32:23Yeah.
32:24Yeah.
32:25Yeah.
32:26But you like me.
32:28You make it pretty fucking hard.
32:30But yeah.
32:32If you'll let me.
32:34I mean...
32:36You're a tiny bit too punctual though.
32:38It's my...
32:39It's my only note.
32:42Beyond time.
32:44I have a job that I love to be with you.
32:47Yeah, so leave it there.
32:49God, we both came here for biodynamic sake
32:51and maybe some mutual fellatio.
32:54Try separating church and state sometimes.
32:56It's easy.
32:58Yeah, fuck this.
32:59I actually came to offer you a job.
33:01Really?
33:02Maybe this relationship has done better over email.
33:04Harper.
33:05What's prompted this enormous sense of humor failure?
33:08Harper.
33:12How was it?
33:15I hope that means good.
33:18You mind me being this casually dressed?
33:21Don't be so fucking weird.
33:23Hard-coded, I'm afraid.
33:25You good on presents?
33:27What are 14-year-old girls into?
33:29How the fuck should I know?
33:31You should know what your daughter's like and dislike.
33:36I followed up with the rest of the family offices.
33:39In truth, I had to chase.
33:41A few eyes were on stalks at you suggesting tender
33:44was anything but a blue chip safe haven.
33:47I dropped tender to be spiky and controversial
33:49in a meeting that I thought was headed south.
33:51It's gonna take labor and sweat and turning stones
33:55and fucking time.
33:58I have plenty of time.
34:00If that's all you've got to offer me,
34:01I think we should reevaluate what's going on here.
34:03Why are you being so sharp with me?
34:05Because this is not some recreational fucking game
34:09or some lame extension of your retirement
34:11while you're floating around trying to rehab your life
34:14or, I don't know, cosplaying the roles
34:16that you have spent your life ignoring.
34:19When the fuck did I ever say I wanted it to be recreational?
34:23If you don't want my daughter in our workspace...
34:26When the fuck did I say that?
34:29You seem a little triggered is all.
34:30Tri... sorry. Triggered?
34:33Who the fuck uses that word seriously?
34:36Are you kidding me?
34:38Shit that people fucking say,
34:39oh, my trauma made me stronger.
34:41No, no.
34:43My trauma traumatized me.
34:45And it made me fucking weak.
34:47And I have had to deal with consequences that were not my fault.
34:51And it has nothing to do with what I am doing right now.
34:56Do you know why I do this?
34:58Because I enjoy it.
35:00And I'm fucking good at it.
35:02It starts and ends with work.
35:06And being proven fucking right.
35:18This is life or death for me.
35:22You used to act like it too.
35:27Sounds like you're a little triggered.
35:28Okay.
35:34I can act like it.
35:36And you...
35:39You come to meetings I spend days wrangling with ideas that aren't half-baked.
35:55Do you know I'm a twin?
35:57No.
35:59Because you've never mentioned it?
36:05Uh, I did a cursory Google.
36:08A good percentage of the addresses and contact numbers of these acquisitions are listed to the same place.
36:15Guess.
36:17Too tired.
36:18The Dublin call center.
36:20That name passed then.
36:22I thought so too.
36:24Plus, I'm not sure it's altogether incriminating, but I did notice something in the documents.
36:29It's printed small, but on every hundredth or so page, there's a care of address.
36:35See?
36:36Google Street View, it looks like...
36:39Well, it doesn't look like much.
36:41I sort of want to use the term shithole.
36:43Show me.
36:47That can't be right, right?
36:49Does it look like a satellite office of an enterprise with a nine billion market cap?
36:53Ooh, what or where is Sunderland?
36:56Sounds cold.
37:06Hello?
37:07Sweet Pea.
37:08Sweet Pea.
37:09Um, I'm really, really sorry about today.
37:10No shit.
37:11And I know that you said that you were gonna take a beat, but, um, swing time for a field trip?
37:17I think this may satisfy your curiosity, and I need your expertise.
37:20Hi, um, Whitney wanted me to share three different versions of prospective rebuttals to the Fin Digest article.
37:35You're gonna be about them?
37:38Yeah.
37:39Right.
37:40Sorry.
37:41Sorry, I didn't, um...
37:43Can I smell martinis on your breath?
37:47Raya must see a pretty lean scene in Vienna.
37:51Hi, Hayley.
37:53Hi.
37:54Sorry.
37:55It's okay.
37:56Calabasas here just tried and failed to get laid.
38:00Well, Yasmin, I'm sure she doesn't want us speculating about her youthful misadventure.
38:05Why I'm not speculating?
38:08Tell him.
38:10She's right.
38:11But more like he tried and failed.
38:15Classic.
38:17I mean...
38:20You're too good for most.
38:25She's very frustrated.
38:29Aren't you, Hayley?
38:31I don't... I don't know if I'd say that.
38:35A little.
38:38Sure.
38:40Yasmin, what the fuck are you doing?
38:41Hayley.
38:42Hey.
38:46Come here.
38:48Do you, um...
38:52Do you like him?
38:55Do you...
38:58Like this?
39:04Do you want to kiss him?
39:05Listen.
39:08I want this for you.
39:18Um...
39:20Do you, uh...
39:21Do you want this?
39:22Mm-hmm.
39:23If you let me stay...
39:26Please don't think...
39:29That I'm begging you for love...
39:32Baby, let me stay...
39:34When the world is gone...
39:37Promise I'll behave...
39:38Never right to wrong...
39:39Is that what you want...
39:41Is that what you want...
40:01Like the other boys...
40:02Good, now spit on it.
40:32Calabasas look at me.
40:59Get off her Henry.
41:05Now turn around on the bed, open your legs and show me your cunt.
41:29Now I believe you have something that belongs to my husband.
41:37And therefore to me.
41:40Well it seems mine have been scattered by the wind.
41:54They've abandoned you with me.
41:58Help me take the dogs out.
42:01Moritz's name on the bank is no more than an honorific really.
42:05And he knows that the tender deal is a good deal, he just craves attention.
42:09How so?
42:11Well he simply doesn't want to be defined by his family name only.
42:15Well, I mean I could speak to one of Alexander's editors.
42:21Yeah, even if it's a one-off column it will make Moritz feel like the world's actually listening to him for once.
42:28This is such a wonderful idea.
42:30You know, I think seeing his thinking valorised by Norton must have, I think this would give him meaning.
42:36You know, even if it's just for an instant to see his name, his view printed black or white.
42:42Yeah, I mean, legacy media so has weight.
42:46Yes, the weight of history.
42:48Yeah, he has a way for not couching his views for polite company.
42:52But the general direction of travel of his thinking is undergirded by common sense.
42:58Wouldn't you say?
43:00Oh, sorry.
43:05Yeah, yeah, I would.
43:12Oh, sorry.
43:25Oh, sorry.
43:30Oh, sorry.
43:33Oh, sorry.
43:41Sono sempre qui e marcialo con noi, avanti in marcia, arranghi ben serrati.
43:55Di bello ariano impaurito dal beccaio, tu vai così a farti macella.
44:11James!
44:14You asked for the right to reply.
44:27Yeah, yeah, just nothing back as a yet.
44:30Cons.
44:31No, why were it to publish?
44:33I mean, we know they're just gonna say the allegations are best.
44:36Let's just pull up a drawbridge.
44:41Well, the tenure investigator, the high growth fintech companies results like transparency and spook investors.
44:46Oh, fucking hell.
44:47Can't we be blunt then?
44:48I mean, ex-porn payments company still illegally processing porn payments.
44:52James, you fail to have noticed.
44:54The night lawyer wants to take out a large chunk of your copy.
44:58How much?
44:59Oh, fuck off.
45:02Mm.
45:03See, you can't imply Sir Cupid is accounting without evidence.
45:06We don't have the luxury of speculating without an insider.
45:09Why are you so desperate to get this out of here half-cooked?
45:11Oh, cause Paddy Radden-Keefe or someone will get the scent and a serious outlet with budget will beat us to it.
45:16Look, mate, all I'm saying is the faster we publish, the safer my man will feel going on record.
45:22Now, you know I have someone who may, they may play ball in corroborating this.
45:26You know he's too intimidated to do it electronically.
45:28Well, these guys, they're fucking litigious.
45:30So it either goes out with the changes or it doesn't go out at all.
45:34Sorry.
45:35Oh, you know, yeah, fuck it, print it.
45:43It's a start.
45:44But if you want a long budget for me to go to Accra, I guess I'll book my own fucking ticket, yeah?
45:48Yeah.
45:51You prat.
45:55It took fucking long to get here.
45:57It's a bit sketchy.
45:58I grew up on a street like this.
46:01So are we gonna tell him in finance or what?
46:04Just let me handle it.
46:07Hiya.
46:08Um, we're actually from the Office of National Statistics.
46:11We might have rung your bell by mistake, so forgive me.
46:14No worries.
46:15No, sorry, we were under the impression that this was an office.
46:17Is there anyone who works here?
46:19Well, me, me son works from home.
46:22You girls okay?
46:23Fine.
46:24So I get a ton of emails from various payment sites in Africa.
46:28That's the graph, really.
46:29The amount.
46:30Lots of attachments.
46:31Can you show me one attachment?
46:32Sure.
46:33It's transactions?
46:34Yeah.
46:35How do you know?
46:36What do you do with them?
46:37Well, it's loads of transactions at different price points.
46:38I collate them and bucket them.
46:39It's not all I tax and like.
46:40Don't put yourself down.
46:41Work is work.
46:42So anywhere between zero pound and twelve pound gets labelled PZ 202, whereas between
46:46twelve and eighty gets PZ 303.
46:47Eighty and two hundred, two hundred and five hundred it goes on.
46:50And those buckets populate a new spreadsheet.
46:51Here.
46:52I've got a lot of transactions.
46:53I've got a lot of transactions.
46:54Yeah.
46:55How do you know?
46:56How do you know?
46:57How do you know?
46:58What do you do with them?
46:59Well, it's a load of transactions at different price points.
47:00I collate them and bucket them.
47:01It's not all I tax and like.
47:02Don't put yourself down.
47:03Work is work.
47:04So anywhere between zero pound and twelve pound gets labelled PZ 202.
47:07Whereas between twelve and eighty gets PZ 303.
47:10Here.
47:11I'm just popping up, Jeffrey.
47:13Oh!
47:14He's not building the charts in Tender's earnings report.
47:18Um, Jeffrey, do you mind if I just note some of those codes down?
47:21So, every one of Tender's available transactions is coded by hand by gorgeous Jeffrey.
47:27Yeah.
47:28They must have a dozen Jeffreys coding by price, not by origination or service.
47:32And that is how they're hiding the porn and the gambling.
47:34Right.
47:35So they're recording it then?
47:36Yeah.
47:37I mean, if you're doing physical porn or flowers for Yannan or you piss away your money at roulette, it is all categorized the same.
47:42Ah.
47:43I mean, as long as it roughly costs the same, it's just like one big bucket of slop called consumables.
47:47Right.
47:48Well, we have to see this through.
47:49Yeah, I agree!
47:50Okay.
47:52Fuck me!
47:53Fuck us!
47:54That is such a fucking mental buzz!
47:56Sweetie.
47:58Come work with me.
47:59Please.
48:00Harper, you left Petra and you left Mostyn.
48:05I need your word that you will actually see this through.
48:08No distractions.
48:10Understood.
48:12If you come, you have my word.
48:21Okay.
48:23Okay.
48:24Get Eric on your phone.
48:30James, it's Harper.
48:31What if I told you you were 100% correct on your tender payments laundry thesis?
48:35Well, as you'll no doubt remember, earlier this year, Lisa, your government promised to rip up the bureaucracy that blocks investment and urge the regulator, this you, Colin, to take growth seriously.
48:52Blocking this deal would, um, break both those promises.
48:56Global innovators, large and small, would take note that despite the Labour Party's often, um, lofty rhetoric, the UK is closed for business.
49:07It would represent a major blow to UK citizens who, currently at least, remain largely in the dark about how parlous their economic circumstances really are.
49:16Noblesse oblige, aristocracy knows best type stuff.
49:20It's hard to stomach from you.
49:23People have short memories.
49:24I see my role in politics as maintaining a very long one.
49:28And that includes seeing through a charlatan's rebranding.
49:32And I haven't forgotten making you squirm during the Lummi inquiry.
49:36It would be an act of narcissism bordering on self-harm to allow personal history to deliver a fatal blow to what we're on the verge of achieving here.
49:48This merger will give us a banking license, meaning more choice, lower prices, a wave of innovation to follow on a slipstream.
49:54Bold statements, but they're hardly backed up in any of the literature that you've...
49:57Ricky Martin, with a Y.
49:59Chief of Staff to the Prime Minister.
50:03So the floor's all yours, I'm all ears.
50:05Oi, did you know about this?
50:09Ricky, thanks for stepping in.
50:11Uh, you interrupted my next...
50:15You interrupted my next question, which was to Colin.
50:19Uh, how does anything we've heard have any bearing on whether a merger with an Austrian bank represents an antitrust issue?
50:26The banking system is...
50:27Colin, the complaints you've heard from our rivals are obfuscating their real fear.
50:30They're not scared of a reduction in competition, they're scared of an increase of it.
50:35This is an objectively pro-competitive deal.
50:39Colin, Ricky, Jennifer, Lisa.
50:42It's not just a question of whether Labour's Britain is pro-business, it's about whether Labour is pro-reducing financial fraud, pro-teaching financial hygiene to its electorates, pro-the consumer's agency in his own financial life.
50:54Your last government isolated you from Europe.
50:57I urge you to see this as a first of many necessary steps towards reintegration.
51:04Don't you think?
51:07Perry.
51:11Sorry.
51:13Yeah, of course.
51:14As I understand it, your securing of an Austrian banking licence to trade in the EU will be followed by an application for a UK licence.
51:22We're a UK company.
51:23That's not...
51:25Colin, the PM wants it stated in here how much he admires Tender's vision for making Britain the fintech capital of Europe, if not the world.
51:35Uh, and we respect the PRA's independence and honour their decisions.
51:47Lisa, we could sidebar with Colin about this later, I'm sure.
51:51Thank you, Ricky.
52:08Whitney was right.
52:09The VIN Digest piece reads like sensationalist nonsense to manipulate the share price.
52:13Louise is drafting a response.
52:21I guess this is why Moritz backed out.
52:24Yeah, Alexander put me in touch with Percy in the opinion pages.
52:27So, you went behind my back to my uncle to give this guy a platform?
52:35Alexander agreed with me, Henry. It's soft-skill negotiation.
52:38This isn't some crank writing in the Spectator in defence of the Wehrmacht. This is a national newspaper with responsibility.
52:46It's a kook running his mouth. It's, you know...
52:49It is what? It's tomorrow's fucking chip paper. Don't be so fucking naive.
52:53Don't you think you should be thanking me? I mean, the deal wouldn't have gone through without me giving Moritz this opportunity.
53:04What you did with Hayley...
53:07...didn't feel right.
53:10You know I'm an addict. It felt very like...
53:13...enabler behavior.
53:14You wanted her, Henry.
53:17So you fucked her.
53:20I was just bold enough to know what to give you.
53:23Hi.
53:26Big weekend. Calabasas.
53:29I'm too young for hangovers.
53:31Uh, your morning is pretty stacked, and I booked your car for 7 tonight for your dinner at Arlington.
53:36Did I book that?
53:38Uh, she did.
53:40Do you want to join us for a nightcap, Hayley?
53:44I mean, there are some introductions that we can make for you.
53:47Will you?
53:48Yeah, I have plans, but I could cancel.
53:51Easily.
53:52No, no, no.
53:53Keep your plans, Hayley.
53:54Who the fuck did I marry?
53:55Shouldn't you know that, darling?
53:59The presentation is set up.
54:00Welcome to the presentation.
54:01Welcome to the presentation.
54:02Welcome to the presentation.
54:03Welcome to the presentation.
54:04I'm going to talk to you for a minute.
54:05What the fuck did you marry?
54:06I'm going to talk to you for a minute.
54:07I'm going to talk to you for a minute.
54:08What the fuck did you marry?
54:09Who the fuck did I marry?
54:13Shouldn't you know that, darling?
54:14Fin Digest's article hasn't been as stock negative as I'd hoped.
54:27The market eventually will be forced to price Tender's deception and they will punish them
54:30for it.
54:31No guarantee.
54:34The Sunderland Discovery puzzle piece is useless to the market without the full image.
54:38It's as good as a hunch without a groundswell of investor sentiment behind it.
54:43I thought the traitor you hired was supposed to show to this.
54:47I agreed to Pierre's terms by the way.
54:53I told you I didn't want that from you.
54:55Well you have it.
54:57I gave it to you.
55:00And all I ask is that we widen the perimeter what we consider to be acceptable discourse
55:09between us.
55:10I won't hurt you just by knowing you.
55:15I really appreciate your financial backing.
55:18It is more than I deserve.
55:21And I will break my back to ensure that your faith is rewarded.
55:24But it is already a miracle that we are in any position to be working together again.
55:29And you and I both know that nothing good comes from us being any more intimate than that.
55:38Ah.
55:39Deutsche.
55:40Go on and spit you out.
55:42Well the universe has quiet designs to keep us humble.
55:45Huh.
55:46Just come this way.
55:47Okay.
55:48So we would like to place a short with you.
55:51Liesides full of tyrants who deny their tyranny.
55:54Salesides full of slaves who deny their servitude.
55:57Somewhere in the middle.
55:58All of human life.
55:59Okay.
56:00How does it feel to finally have the power?
56:03a constant nerve-jangling desire to enshrine it.
56:07Pop.
56:08I'm sorry I'm late.
56:12Well, I'm...
56:13Is this your man?
56:14Yes.
56:15Eric.
56:17Kenny, I wanted...
56:19I'm just glad I got a chance to say sorry.
56:24I am.
56:25I am sorry.
56:27Well...
56:28It's not the worst thing anyone's ever done.
56:30Don't try.
56:32Oh.
56:33Oh.
56:34Oh.
56:35Oh.
56:36Oh.
56:37Oh.
56:38Oh.
56:39Oh.
56:40Oh.
56:41Oh.
56:42Oh.
56:43Oh.
56:44Oh.
56:45Oh.
56:46Oh.
56:47Oh.
56:48Oh.
56:49Oh.
56:50Oh.
56:51Oh.
56:52Oh.
56:53Oh.
56:54Oh.
56:55Oh.
56:56Oh.
56:57Oh.
56:58Oh.
56:59Oh.
57:00Oh.
57:01Oh.
57:02Oh.
57:03Oh.
57:04Oh.
57:05Oh.
57:06Oh.
57:07Oh.
57:08Oh.
57:09Oh.
57:10Oh.
57:11Oh.
57:12Oh.
57:13Oh.
57:14Oh.
57:15Oh.
57:16Oh.
57:17Oh.
57:18What we can say, what we can say, what we can say, what we can say.
57:22Say no way, say no way, say no way.
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