- 1 week ago
- #realityinsighthub
#
#RealityInsightHub
🎞 Please subscribe to our official channel to watch the full movie for free, as soon as possible. ❤️Reality Insight Hub❤️
👉 Official Channel: />👉 THANK YOU ⭐❤️❤️❤️⭐
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00I'll be locking four celebrities inside this box and forcing them to compete in games for our entertainment.
00:06Think of them as sweatshop workers, but instead of making trainers, they're making poor life choices.
00:11I'm Jimmy Carr. Welcome to Battle in the Box.
00:17This is the box, 16 metres long, 3 metres wide, and with less privacy than your mum's OnlyFans account.
00:25Two teams will spend a day and a night cut off entirely from the outside world.
00:30I snore really loud.
00:36Whilst competing in a series of games designed to test them to their very limits.
00:43You're a disgrace. Absolute disgrace.
00:46Win, and they can fill their side of the box with an array of luxury items.
00:50Here comes some stuff. I'm having pancakes.
00:53Xylophone. Take away at a train set.
00:57Choo-choo.
00:58And more importantly, they get to move the dividing wall deeper into their opponent's side.
01:03You might want to step back a couple of times now.
01:05The way you two are pushing it makes you look like you're actually enjoying it.
01:08In the final challenge, one team will find the keys and escape with whatever they can carry,
01:12whilst the losers will be locked in the box forever, or until we can find someone to buy their kidneys.
01:20Let's get on with the show.
01:23Throughout their stay, I'll be keeping an eye on our guests from here, my personal lair.
01:30Sort of like Alan Sugar's office, except instead of firing people, I'm making them poop in a bucket.
01:35Let's meet the teams.
01:37First to enter the box, it's the orange team.
01:39Sean Walsh and Joe Swash.
01:41Try saying that in a hurry.
01:42I'm not going to have to do a nappy for 20 hours.
01:45Well...
01:45I'm not going to have to do a bottle.
01:46Let's see how nervous I get.
01:48Well, if you do, I will get you done in about two minutes flat.
01:52What an image that is.
01:54Let's get in.
01:54Oh, my God.
01:55Right.
01:55After you.
01:56Thank you, my darling.
01:59Oh, very nice.
02:00OK.
02:01It's a fixer-upper.
02:02Next to enter the box, it's the blue team, made up of comedians Harriet Kemsley and Lara
02:06Rakote.
02:07I get thirsty a lot.
02:09Like, I need at least three drinks on the go at the same time.
02:11Is there a bar?
02:12Like, I have a lot of questions.
02:15It's actually much more futuristic.
02:18I really thought there was going to be furniture.
02:20Yeah, no, that's what we have to win.
02:23I feel like I'm in a zoo.
02:24I...
02:25Chucking poo at everyone.
02:29Give it time, Jo.
02:29You'll get there.
02:31We are going to make this box a home.
02:33Oh, no.
02:36Oh, no.
02:37Oh, I don't like that.
02:38I think I've got something in my box that might help with this.
02:41Remarkably, that's not a euphemism.
02:43Inside Jo's and everyone else's box are luxury items from home.
02:47Would you like...
02:48Yeah.
02:49..an onion?
02:50I find peeling an onion very relaxing.
02:54Even a noise makes my back go up.
02:56Oh, I love the noise.
02:58Yeah.
02:58Yeah.
02:59It's like you're unwrapping a present, but you know what it is.
03:01It's an onion.
03:02I brought deodorant.
03:05That's really smart.
03:06It's like the kindest thing you could do if you're sharing a box with somebody,
03:08I think, is to bring deodorant.
03:10I didn't do that.
03:11Right, now, they've been in the box for roughly half an hour,
03:14with only their cellmate, sorry, teammate, for company.
03:17Let's drop in and show them who's on the other side of the wall.
03:20Oh.
03:21Oh, my God.
03:21So, who are you up against?
03:25Well, in addition to your own personal demons...
03:27..and claustrophobia, get ready to find out.
03:31No!
03:33Because I was worried we might have, like, some geniuses or something,
03:37and we've just got a bunch of idiots we're up against.
03:39Well, this is awkward.
03:40I don't think they've realised they can see and hear each other.
03:43Are you looking at us or are we looking at?
03:45Hello?
03:46Hello?
03:47Hello?
03:48Oh, hello!
03:49Can you see us?
03:50Sorry, can you do that right now?
03:51Oh, God, hello!
03:52I thought they were so disappointed when they see us, I was like, oh!
03:54Yeah.
03:55Are you looking at...
03:56You're looking at the screen instead of the cameras?
03:58Yeah.
03:59Oh, OK, we can do this.
04:00No.
04:00Oh, we're meant to look at their camera.
04:02Just to be clear, this isn't one of the challenges.
04:04This is a simple task I'd expect everyone to find easy.
04:07I mean, they work in telly.
04:08Well, time for a quick orientation.
04:10The sink is behind you.
04:11The toilet's in the corner.
04:12Or vice versa, if you prefer.
04:14Makes no difference to me.
04:15I'll be back in a bit.
04:16Bye-bye.
04:18So we just have to fill this time, like, with our thoughts?
04:25Oh, you're very busy.
04:26I don't think they'll know.
04:27Oh, thank you.
04:28No problem.
04:29Do the camera.
04:30Erm...
04:33I'm embarrassed already.
04:35I'm leaving this box.
04:39That's very funny.
04:45Now, listen.
04:46Don't get jealous if they're getting on better than us.
04:49They aren't getting on better than us.
04:51Do you think?
04:52I don't think they're getting on better than us.
04:53I don't know how many changes.
04:54Do you?
04:55No.
04:56It's weird.
05:00Orange team, blue team, stand by for your first game.
05:05First game happening soon.
05:09Attention!
05:10For this game, I put on some drinks.
05:12But that fizzing sound isn't the bubbly.
05:14It's the bars of our high-voltage wire.
05:16So stand up straight, slouch, and I'll put the pain into champagne.
05:20Bottoms up.
05:21Bottoms up.
05:22Now stand back and prepare to play welcome drinks.
05:26Both teams must decant as much margarita as they can from one side of the box to the other.
05:31They must carry it one glass at a time, and after two minutes, whoever fills their jug the highest, wins.
05:37Oh, and they'll be doing so whilst their heads are rigged to an electric buzzwire.
05:41There is that.
05:42Be careful not to touch the buzzwire or you'll get a shot.
05:45Where is the buzzwire?
05:49That whole thing is the buzzwire.
05:51And if either of them make contact with the wire, they both get electrocuted.
05:55I'll leave Harriet to explain.
05:56Oh, but because we've got these things, if they touch it then you get buzzed because the electricity goes into your head and we'll get brain buzzed.
06:05That's right, Professor Kemsley, the electricity goes into your head and you get brain buzzed.
06:12Stand up straight and just think like a deer.
06:16It's all about posture and balance.
06:20Three, two, one, begin.
06:22Go, go, go, go.
06:24Get down.
06:27Ah!
06:29No!
06:31Fun fact, this is how I train my butlers.
06:33That get you good.
06:34I'm alright.
06:35That was you.
06:36Oh my God.
06:37I've got dizzy, my eyes are looking in different ways.
06:41Oh no!
06:43Come on.
06:48Oh my God.
06:49Oh my God.
06:51Ah!
06:52Ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok.
06:54Ah!
06:55Ok, ok, ok, ok, ok.
06:56Ah!
06:57They've each got the first round in and the blue team are marginally ahead.
07:01No more half-measures, boys.
07:03Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
07:06Oh!
07:07You got away with one.
07:08Oh!
07:09Ah!
07:10You f**k!
07:11Oh, don't it hurt.
07:12Keep going, my partner!
07:13I'm getting electrocuted.
07:15Do you mind?
07:17Oh!
07:19I'd like to say no comedians were harmed in the making of this.
07:21making of this I'd like to say that but it wouldn't be true would it I should
07:33say please don't try there's a home it's our format our lawyers will destroy you
07:37oh okay I've got so used to walking in a circle you'll never be able to get out
07:46okay composure composure oh my god 30 seconds remaining
07:54okay I'm still going I'm still going
08:0710 seconds remaining
08:13good job on that that was really good that's it all finished both the game and their careers
08:29you felt that quite a lot didn't you I think it's the anxiety of it and where'd you get how can you
08:48help me please these are the results blue team you successfully collected 2.1 liters
08:55orange team you managed 2.8 liters which means you are the winners
09:01I wonder what we get please let me say good
09:12as they won the game the boys now get to push the wall into Harriet and Lara's half of the box
09:20orange team when you're ready tap the button and let's see how far this wall moves
09:28depending on where the wheel lands this could be anything from two to five spaces in layman's terms
09:39that's the difference between feeling a little bit cozy and sitting on each other's laps in the toilet
09:44what fate awaits Harry and Lara we'll find out after the break
09:49welcome back to battle in the box the closest a human can feel to being buried alive without all
10:06the hassle of betraying the Mafia both teams have been trapped in the box for over three hours Sean and
10:12Joe have won the first game and they're about to find out how far the wall will move into the blue team's side of the box
10:18how much is that do you know what I think is cruel is I'm enjoying the fact not that we have more space but that they have less yes
10:36it's all right spoken like a true psychopath Sean game recognized game
10:51over there over there
10:53all right one oh that is sorry guys oh we got a bit here mate oh what's your joke oh sorry
11:03keep going mate yeah we might want to step back a couple of times now oh my god
11:10step back oh my god
11:15wow look how much room we've got look at this
11:18wow we could race oh we could really get fit in here
11:24so much reflectivities dude we're just gonna have a game of cricket
11:28it's their joy it's their joy that's making me so unhappy because I can hear their joy
11:33through the wall okay just enjoy it while you have it yeah make the most of it guys because it's
11:40going away as well as all the extra space orange team also get virtual box going to spend on a bunch of
11:46stuff all they have to do is pick one of three boxes each one containing anything up to 5,000 box
11:52coin
11:53C for Charlie
11:55that's a lot isn't it what's the other two what are the other two
11:59what are the other two
12:06okay let's go yeah that's all right
12:08but they didn't win 4,000
12:10tablets in hand it's up to Sean and Joe to decide how to spend their box coin
12:15there's hundreds of items to buy
12:18bed bed bed bed
12:20got to go bed
12:21will they top and tail in a single for 500 or splash out on a double for 950
12:26bunk beds
12:27so we go bunk beds
12:28like stepbrothers
12:30and it's not just furniture
12:32oh oh there's more
12:33no that can't be for us can it
12:35yes Joe it's all for you and your 3,000 box coin
12:38no
12:39oh look at this
12:40now will they save money on a meal kit for 250 or splash out on a takeaway for a cool grand
12:45well we can get a takeaway
12:47what oh we gotta get a curry
12:50sorry
12:51bangers are matched with gravy and veg
12:53bless their excitement but those are meal kits not a takeaway
12:57come on
12:58why are you yelling
12:59this is sorry I apologise
13:01this is a fantastic
13:04fantastic box
13:05we're gonna get a bunk bed with double duvet and pillar each
13:09we're gonna both get some pajamas
13:11we're gonna get a rug
13:13we're gonna get
13:14a squash
13:15some squash and crisps
13:16a toasting machine with bread and bread and cheese
13:19and a train set
13:21choo choo
13:22and then we might push the boat out and have a takeaway
13:24we might get a takeaway
13:26we're not even hungry
13:27choo choo choo
13:28just to reiterate the curry is not in the takeaway section
13:33so there's that
13:34shut up
13:35shut up that you're not even hungry
13:37then pass it
13:38pass it through underneath the box please
13:41pass a grain of
13:42each grain of rice under the wall it must fit
13:45while they wait for their items to arrive
13:47joe regales sean with a romantic tale of how he met his wife
13:51yeah we met in the jungle
13:53oh you met in the jungle
13:54yeah
13:55met in the jungle mate
13:56the first time I actually see Stacey
13:58I get
13:59I used to get to get to meet the celebrities as they come over the bridge
14:02so I'll be the first person that they meet
14:04so they haven't had a bath
14:06haven't had a wash
14:07so like you know
14:08everyone stinks
14:09but when you're in the jungle
14:11your smell just mixes in with everyone else's
14:13yeah
14:14you don't really notice
14:15what we do on the outside like
14:17and Stacey come over
14:18and without a doubt
14:20ten years I've done that show
14:22she was the smelliest camp mate
14:24to come out
14:25I remember giving her a cuddle
14:26remember coming across the bridge
14:27and her hair was blowing in the wind
14:29the sun was behind
14:30I thought
14:31oh she's amazing
14:32and then she come towards me
14:33and the smell hit me like a rock
14:35so it wasn't love at first sight
14:36it was haste at first smell
14:38yeah
14:39and then
14:40it was just like
14:41she looked so beautiful coming over the bridge
14:42I was like
14:43oh my god look how amazing this moment is
14:45and then a whiff of B.O. I was like
14:47what
14:53everything the boys ordered is now hand-delivered by my minions
14:57stop
14:58don't feel bad for them by the way
14:59it's either carrying bunk beds
15:01or clearing out my sex dungeon
15:03they've actually got a good deal
15:05look at this
15:08oh my god
15:14oh so comfortable
15:17yes
15:18oh my god
15:19it'd be better if this box was soundproof
15:20because
15:21that was so loud
15:22that was insane
15:24it felt like
15:25it felt like a hate crime
15:26guys
15:27yeah
15:28yeah
15:29this bed is great
15:30great
15:31no that's great
15:32good for you actually
15:33it's gonna get really squished soon
15:34so just enjoy it where you can
15:36they've been in the box for just over four hours
15:42to give you an idea of how disorientating that can be
15:45it's 2pm in the afternoon and Sean and Joe have already got changed for bed
15:49oh my god
15:51oh my god
15:52you look brilliant
15:54shoes off
15:55pyjamas on
15:57bed
15:58no idea what the time is
16:00I feel good
16:02I feel good
16:032pm in the afternoon
16:05it's amazing
16:06meanwhile in the blue box
16:07Harriet is doing her bit to keep her spirits up
16:10it feels a little bit like we're dead
16:12the lights are so bright in here as well
16:14it's like being in a pret-a-manger like constantly
16:16it's like
16:17it's like nobody wants that you know
16:19nobody wants that
16:21if you think that's bad wait till you see what Joe's going through
16:24oh we got a fucking
16:26when did we order them
16:28that's your meal kit
16:30I don't know
16:31and potatoes
16:32it's your meal kit Joe
16:33are they gonna make us make our sausage and mash
16:35yes
16:36like a meal kit
16:37so hungry
16:40I'm so hungry too
16:42Jimmy Carr
16:43if you can hear me
16:45can you let us know
16:46whether this is my takeaway bangers and mash
16:49I can hear him by the way
16:50I just don't care enough to reply
16:52they've got to make it themselves
16:53that's a good thing though
16:55when we order food
16:56we need to order stuff that's easy to make
16:59you need to
17:00you need to relax
17:04tell you what
17:05here we go
17:06why don't you just make us both for a cheese sandwich
17:08we can learn from their mistake
17:11well right now
17:12it looks like there could be trouble in paradise
17:14and by paradise
17:15I mean a box with a bunk bed in it
17:17let's see if that's going to affect them going into our next game
17:23attention
17:24it's game time
17:25stand by for this important message
17:26yes
17:27well I'm knackered
17:29we're ready for bed
17:31Harry of course we're going to win this one
17:33like of course we're going to win it
17:34I'm preparing I'm preparing
17:35it's one thing living in the box under my rules
17:37well now
17:38time to start living under yours
17:40each person will choose a rule that both sides of the box must live by
17:44when I come back whichever team has committed the fewest infringements wins
17:48try not to go too power mad with this one
17:50this show is only big enough for one megalomaniac
17:53shotgun me
17:54this is house rules
17:58hey Jimmy
18:00what rule could we give them that make it really difficult for them
18:06oh my god
18:09how can we hurt them
18:11let's get my thinking chair
18:12right
18:13you have to have a hand in your hair at all times
18:16and that sucks for them because their hair is up here
18:18we can just be like this
18:19like we could literally like tie our head to our finger
18:22oh
18:23no sitting on the floor
18:26oh my god
18:30that is genius
18:34no sitting on the floor
18:37rule accepted
18:38rule one is that you can't walk anywhere
18:41you can only crawl
18:43rule accepted
18:44one is a bit of an own goal
18:46but I wanted to do it to control volume
18:48the volume coming from the other side
18:50mine has no laughing
18:51rule accepted
18:53your hand has to be touching your hair at all times
18:58rule accepted
18:59no it's genius
19:01because we've got a week in fact
19:02it's genius
19:03ok all four rules have been submitted
19:08let's find out what you've come up with
19:09no laughing
19:10no laughing
19:11no laughing
19:12no laughing
19:13no sitting on the floor
19:16fuck
19:17because they have a fucking bed
19:21you can't walk anywhere
19:22you have to crawl
19:23that's alright
19:24you have to touch your hair at all times
19:28I'm touching my head
19:29I've got a hairy chest
19:30what don't you don't want to put your arm in that position
19:31I don't know if I can move it because I've got a beard
19:32see how it moves around
19:33see what I mean
19:34I bet you're quite hairy all over
19:35so should we step this down here
19:36yeah
19:37I stepped
19:38Harriet there breaking her own rule in the first 10 seconds of the game
19:53then laughs at it for good measure
19:55who's a bunch of idiots now Harriet
19:57we can crawl
19:58but you can't sit
19:59you can't sit
20:00yeah
20:01and we'll just get up here
20:02and
20:03if you lift yourself up that's not walking
20:04no
20:05we're laughing
20:07oh my god
20:083-0 and it looks like Sean's rule of no laughing could be a stroke of genius
20:12how are we going to cook our dinner with one hand?
20:13or maybe not
20:14that's no laughing
20:15what?
20:16I laughed
20:18oh I've just understood what's going on
20:19I've just understood what's going on
20:20you can't wait
20:21oh you can't wait
20:22just get up here
20:23just get up here
20:24and
20:25if you lift yourself up that's not walking
20:26no
20:27we're laughing
20:28oh my god
20:313-0 and it looks like Sean's rule of no laughing could be a stroke of genius
20:36how are we going to cook our dinner with one hand?
20:39or maybe not
20:40Oh, I've just understood what's going on.
20:52OK, no, Harriet, we really need to win this.
20:55Of course they do.
20:56No-one wants to be outsmarted by Joe Swash two games in a row.
21:00So, are blue team going to be laughing their way to another defeat?
21:03Find out after the break.
21:10Welcome back to Battle in the Box.
21:17It's been five hours since they went into the box,
21:20and both teams are currently competing in a game of house rules.
21:23Each of them has come up with a rule for all of them to live by.
21:26No sitting on the floor.
21:28Your hand has to be touching your hair at all times.
21:33No laughing.
21:34You can't walk anywhere. You can only crawl.
21:38With only one infringement so far, the boys are well ahead,
21:41and turning their attention to dinner.
21:43We've got to cook with one hand.
21:45Why don't you just have a sausage and mash with me?
21:47Put a sausage in the oven, stir instant mash.
21:51Um...
21:53You've got to crawl.
21:55Stop walking.
21:57Did not remember that.
21:58You didn't remember that either.
22:00Forbidden from sitting on the floor,
22:01blue team have spent the whole game on the kitchen counter,
22:04and now Harriet is looking to branch out.
22:06We can sit on our...
22:08If we were to move in a bit, we can get down,
22:09and then we can crawl to our boxes,
22:11and then we can sit on our boxes.
22:13I'm not going to eat it.
22:14I'm not laughing, by the way.
22:15I'm nearly crying.
22:16It's a different thing.
22:17No, quick.
22:18I might cook some sausages,
22:19have cheese toasties with sausages in the middle.
22:21They're only little sausages.
22:23That's disgusting.
22:24No, what?
22:25Cheese and sausage?
22:26Cheese toast.
22:27If you call it suddenly,
22:28if you call it a sausage melt sandwich,
22:30it suddenly becomes...
22:31Call it sausage cheese.
22:32Just laugh.
22:34What is wrong with you?
22:36Great, great, great, great.
22:37I've just got another one.
22:38What are you doing?
22:39Your rule.
22:40Your stupid rule.
22:42That keeps tripping me up.
22:43This is chaos.
22:45You'd really want to curry, didn't you?
22:47I always want to curry.
22:48There is no point in the day where I don't want to curry.
22:50I hope you make it.
22:51100% I hope you make it.
22:52I will make it.
22:53I will help you.
22:54Oh, sorry.
22:55What are you doing, you bitch?
23:01Your rule is going to really stitch us up.
23:06That's great.
23:07That's great.
23:08I'm not happy about the...
23:10touching the hair at all times.
23:12You used to fart them, didn't you?
23:13And you tried to...
23:17No!
23:18That's not...
23:20You're allowed to smile.
23:22Yeah, he said nothing about smiling.
23:24And our nose sneezed.
23:26I do apologise for that.
23:28Want to swap hands?
23:29Bottom burp.
23:30And thanks to one innocent bottom burp,
23:32the girls have taken the lead.
23:34They got fucked by that one.
23:35And that's what's so fun about this.
23:38It's going to be a real cheerful show this month.
23:40No laughing rule.
23:42Okay, you need to stop.
23:44Just give me a minute to calm down.
23:46What?
23:48What is that?
23:49Who?
23:50They've got to give us a buffer in between it.
23:55Let's have five seconds to get a laugh out and start again.
23:59One, two, three, four, five.
24:01Now we go again.
24:06Oh dear, the orange team seem to be lolling their way to a loss.
24:10Shit, stop.
24:13Fuck yeah, all we have to do is just...
24:15All we have to do is just...
24:16We just have to sit here and be very serious.
24:18So, the girls have got their game plan.
24:20Meanwhile, orange team are about to face their toughest challenge yet.
24:24I'm going to go to Twitter.
24:29Oh no, I can't watch that.
24:30I'll laugh.
24:31Like an injured animal.
24:32Like an injured animal, innit?
24:33Joe, we are behind here, mate.
24:34You know why we're behind?
24:35One rule's fucked us up.
24:36Don't say it.
24:37Don't say it.
24:38Don't say it.
24:39Don't say it.
24:40Don't say it.
24:41Don't say it.
24:42Don't say it.
24:43Don't say it.
24:44Don't say it.
24:45Oh, that was close.
24:47That nearly said, be off, don't say it.
24:48Show!
24:49Stop it!
24:50Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it, don't say it, don't say it, oh, that was close, that nearly said, be off, don't say it.
25:00Shut up! Stop it!
25:08Fuck.
25:10OK, we just have to, we have to stay strong.
25:12This is the best.
25:13Remember your hand.
25:15Yes.
25:19They're not laughing.
25:20Listen, don't look at me coming out the toilet, alright? Just let me get to my bunk.
25:38Fucking hell, Joe!
25:40Is that you?
25:42Fucking hell, Sean.
25:43Oh!
25:45The game's over!
25:46The game's over?
25:47And it's your rule that done us!
25:49Your rule absolutely fucked us up!
25:52Well, that's a win for the blue team.
25:53Yeah!
25:56No laughing!
25:58Yeah, we can do it!
25:59Yeah, we can do it!
26:01No laughing!
26:03It's cos of you, that is.
26:04I know, that was a dumb...
26:05Stupid, man.
26:06It was a dumb-dumb.
26:07Don't worry about that.
26:08It was a real big...
26:09Especially if you get the giggles.
26:10...big dumb-dumb.
26:11I know, I got the giggles.
26:12That wasn't great.
26:13Blue team, when you're ready, press the button.
26:15And let's see how far this wall moves.
26:22Come on, get a two, get a two.
26:23Three, two, four, three, four, five, four.
26:26No, no, no, no, no, no.
26:28Three, three.
26:29Two, five.
26:30Four.
26:31Three.
26:32That's okay.
26:33That's okay.
26:34That's okay.
26:35You get some of our space back.
26:36We get some of our space back.
26:37Oh.
26:39Sorry, guys.
26:40You might need to move your bunk bed up a little bit.
26:42Yeah, probably, cos we need...
26:43We need space for all our stuff that's coming.
26:45Yeah, go on, guys.
26:46You all right.
26:47Three.
26:52Push the wall.
26:53Let's do this.
26:55Yes.
26:56Yes, this feels so good.
26:58One.
26:59I hope you're not getting squished in there.
27:02Two.
27:06Look at that!
27:07A full window.
27:09Yes!
27:11Wow.
27:12We didn't even know what we were missing, but this is so good.
27:14I think it makes it more cosy.
27:15I'm sure you want to know how much money you've got to spend in the shop.
27:18Well, pick a box.
27:19Please, could we have B?
27:24Yes!
27:25That's great.
27:26That's great.
27:27That's all we need.
27:28That's a lot.
27:29It's like a lot, isn't it?
27:30Yeah, it's a lot.
27:31So now we can get stuff.
27:32Okay.
27:34Thank you, Jimmy.
27:35Thank you, Jimmy.
27:36Okay.
27:37While Blue Team decide how to spend their 3,000 box coin,
27:40Joe is looking to build some bridges with Sean.
27:43Okay, you get in bed, mate, and I'll bring you a toasty up.
27:46Superb.
27:47Bless you.
27:48You'll turn it to a really lovely evening with you.
27:51What would come about if it would become, like,
27:54a really lovely bonding experience?
27:56In bed, cheese toasty in a film.
27:58Fucking hell.
27:59We're basically having a sleep on.
28:00I don't think I'd ever...
28:01I don't think I'd want to go home to Stacey.
28:03I'd be happy here forever.
28:05Please, will we get a double bed, a takeaway,
28:08coffee machine, pyjamas, a sofa, bowling,
28:13an adult body casting kit, and eggs.
28:17That felt so good.
28:18I just haven't shopped in so long since we've been in here.
28:20Like, it's felt really good to, like, purchase something.
28:24Should have got some chocolate.
28:27Should have got some chocolate.
28:29No laughing rule, Danas.
28:32I'm sorry.
28:34Oh.
28:36Whilst the boys get some, well, not deserved rest,
28:38Harriet continues to work on her small talk.
28:41I've got a cast of my vagina,
28:43but that's the only cast that I have.
28:45I had to do it for a TV show.
28:46But, like, I was so worried that, like,
28:48it was going to...
28:49You know, sometimes it was going to hang weird?
28:51And I was, like, so worried that it was going to capture it,
28:53or, like...
28:55You know what I mean?
28:56Yeah, of course.
28:57I mean, I've seen it for, like, art inflations that, like,
28:59celebrate the vulva.
29:00Of course.
29:01And then you're like, that's great for everybody,
29:02but I don't want to be stood there with my vagina,
29:04and it's, like, really letting me down,
29:05and it's all like...
29:10Both teams have now been stuck inside the box
29:12for six and a half hours.
29:14The boys are sleeping off the tension from their recent defeat,
29:17and Harriet and Lara are about to receive a welcome visit
29:20from my minions.
29:21Oh, it's so good.
29:42It's so good.
29:44Thank you, Jimmy.
29:45You're a malevolent...
29:46Really nice to her.
29:47...evil captor.
29:48But also, I love you.
29:50In addition to the food, furniture, and full-body casting kit,
29:53Blue Team also ordered an unspecified luxury experience.
29:59Oh, my goodness.
30:01Shut up.
30:03And it's about to begin now.
30:06Hi, ladies.
30:07Hi.
30:09I've come to give you a sound bath.
30:11Oh, my God.
30:13Can we put on our pyjamas?
30:14You can.
30:15If you're wondering, a sound bath uses waves of soothing echoes
30:18to ease stress and fatigue.
30:20No-one needs this more than the boys,
30:22and luckily for them, they can't escape it.
30:24If you've just tuned in, don't worry, you're not having a breakdown.
30:31This is happening.
30:32If you've just tuned in, don't worry, you're not having a breakdown.
30:48If you've just tuned in, don't worry.
30:49This is happening.
30:50This is happening.
30:52This is happening.
30:53I felt like a spa retreat.
31:02What's that, Liz?
31:18I felt like a spa retreat.
31:25Just taking a beautiful aroma.
31:30She had lavender spray.
31:32I love lavender spray.
31:33I could have been nothing worse.
31:35He's kidding me.
31:36I could well do without spa days.
31:38I'll go fishing.
31:39Get a flappy fish for.
31:41Oh, that's relaxing.
31:46I'm not sure what hitting an upside-down wine glass actually does,
31:49but the blue team seem to be enjoying it.
31:55This is what I do.
31:56This is how I treat myself.
31:58We've got to win the next, whatever the next thing is.
32:02Next Door's experience is clearly getting Sean down,
32:06but Joe is attempting to cheer him up with his very own sound and aromatherapy.
32:10Wait, listen, listen, listen.
32:11Huh?
32:12Oh, my God.
32:15What was that?
32:16That sounded like someone ran over a frog.
32:20Someone ran over a frog.
32:22Oh, my Lord.
32:23I've never heard it explained like that,
32:25but it really does sound like that.
32:27Well, I'm going to take a quick break now, but don't worry.
32:31They won't even realise I've gone.
32:33HE SINGS
32:38HE SINGS
32:40Welcome back to Battle in the Box,
32:42the show that takes four celebrities and locks them up in a box.
32:45Finally, I get to make money out of my hobby.
32:47During the break, blue team's sound bath came to an end.
32:52I was, like, on a journey through, like, sound and time.
33:05And now, eight and a half hours into the battle,
33:08they've moved on to one of their other prizes.
33:10Whoa, right from the back.
33:13Pretty good.
33:14What are they doing?
33:15They've got bowls, haven't they?
33:17What's...
33:18They're bowling.
33:19Oh, my God.
33:20What a racket.
33:22HE LAUGHS
33:23That's infuriating.
33:25Too right, Sean.
33:26What sort of a person would rub their prizes
33:28in the other team's face like that?
33:30We might get a takeaway.
33:31We're not even hungry.
33:32At a train set.
33:34Choo-choo!
33:35But they needn't worry,
33:36because here comes another opportunity to taste success.
33:39PHONE RINGS
33:40Here we go.
33:41Oh.
33:43Stand by for your next game.
33:45I repeat, stand by for your next game.
33:48Now, if there's one thing I can't stand, it's noisy eaters.
33:51Well, them and HMRC.
33:53To win this one, you have to eat your food as quietly as possible,
33:56and in keeping with the overall theme of the show,
33:58you'll be doing it uncomfortably close to one another.
34:01Get ready to play Delish.
34:04One person has to feed their team-mates two entire poppadoms
34:09in the quickest time possible.
34:11However, they'll be sat in front of an ultra-sensitive microphone
34:14and whenever they make too much sound,
34:16a five-second penalty will be added to their time.
34:19What?
34:20We have to eat, but, like...
34:21Super quiet?
34:22But, like, do you think we're going to be fed?
34:24I really would like to be fed.
34:26This is actually your perfect challenge.
34:29That's...
34:30Do you know my...
34:31Do you know what my biggest hatred is?
34:32People...
34:33Ladd eaters.
34:34Yeah.
34:35You know who's the big laddus eater?
34:36Stacey Solomon.
34:37I'd never known someone to enhance the sound...
34:40My missus is the sound.
34:42I'm like, how do you make it louder?
34:44What are you doing?
34:45It's like...
34:46Joe Swash there, the master of silence.
34:49And whilst Blue Team get in some practice,
34:52he's teaching Sean a fool-proof technique.
34:55Suck it.
34:57Suck.
34:59What the fuck are you talking about?
35:02You can't suck crisp, you knobhead!
35:05Look.
35:06Put the crisp in your mouth, look.
35:08Put the crisp on your tongue, and then...
35:11Suck your tongue to the roof of your mouth.
35:13Make the crisp like a little roof of the sandwich.
35:15You can't suck a crisp!
35:17You can't, I understand it!
35:18No, you haven't!
35:19Whatever I'm doing, you do.
35:21Ready, look.
35:22Ready, look.
35:23Goes in.
35:29How was your day?
35:30Yeah, yeah, I just watched Joe Swash.
35:32Suck up a crisp.
35:34Orange Team.
35:35Blue Team.
35:36When you're ready, assume the position.
35:38Are you OK?
35:39Am I squishing you?
35:40No, not at all.
35:41You're sort of straddling one leg,
35:42so I can feel like arse and gooch.
35:46Do you know what I mean?
35:48I can feel the heat of the arse.
35:49And the smoothness of your gooch all on one leg.
35:53The smoothness of your gooch.
35:55The poet, isn't he, Joe Swash?
35:57Just put both bones.
35:58Don't spread the bum cheek over one leg.
36:00Do it in the middle, because otherwise I feel...
36:03The sensation, I can feel things.
36:05Ready?
36:06Three, two, one, eat.
36:17Oh, that was close.
36:21Another close one.
36:22I'm going to break it behind you.
36:24Great use of the onesie there from Joe.
36:36Bad luck, girls.
36:39Good luck, girls.
36:40Don't fucking fuck!
37:10Stop flirting boys blue team are already on to their second poppadom
37:40shhh shhh
37:42shhh
37:44shhh
37:46shhh
37:48shhh
37:52shhh
37:54oh f-
37:58oh
38:00oh
38:02That's it, they're pop-a-don.
38:25Look at that, that was brilliant.
38:27I regret saying that instantly.
38:29I think we're in for a shot, that one.
38:33You fucking fired!
38:35You laughed and fired, you dirty bastard.
38:39Stand by, the winners will be revealed shortly.
38:42That was really hard.
38:45I think we've done good. I think we've done really well.
38:47What are you on about?
38:52That was an absolute disaster.
38:55Remember, it's not just about speed.
38:57Both teams got a five-second penalty every time they trigger the alarm.
39:01Orange team, you made 43 penalties, finishing with a total of 10 minutes 39 seconds.
39:07Blue team, you made 24 penalties, a total time of 5 minutes 40 seconds.
39:13What?
39:14Which means it's a win for the blue team.
39:16Yeah!
39:17By loads!
39:18By loads!
39:19By loads!
39:20I'm sorry.
39:21Who?
39:22Well, Sean fucked it up.
39:23No, I didn't.
39:24He kept on shushing in my ear.
39:25Yeah, it seemed like there was chaos happening.
39:26Well done.
39:27Well done.
39:28That was good.
39:29That was actually great.
39:30That was actually great.
39:31Ten minutes, sweet.
39:32Two pop-downs.
39:33You're a disgrace.
39:34Absolute disgrace.
39:35It's another win for the girls, and with it comes another wall move.
39:38Blue team, when you're ready, press the button and let's see how far this wall moves.
39:43Let's do it.
39:44Okay, when are we ready?
39:45They're all fine.
39:46They'll get so crushed, they'll actually feel really sad to me if they are fine.
40:04Oh, my God.
40:07I don't believe this.
40:08I'm fucking out.
40:09I love this one.
40:10Oh, my God.
40:11Oh fucking hell.
40:13Guys, I actually do feel really bad because you're going to get really squished.
40:17We are sorry about that.
40:19Yes.
40:20Get ready, boys.
40:22We're ready.
40:28Push the ball.
40:30Here it comes.
40:34One.
40:37That's it, isn't it? That's five.
40:40No, it's still going to go, it's all right.
40:44I'll give it a break.
40:46Yes.
40:47So the wall has moved a maximum five spaces.
40:51And now, as we reach the halfway point of the battle, the boys are definitely not laughing.
40:56The laughing, you said let's not laugh as a rule and then you had a giggling.
40:59That was bad.
41:00That was your fault.
41:01Honestly, I feel like you're fucking, like a lead weight weighing me down.
41:06Coming up on the next episode.
41:08What's going on?
41:09Headaches.
41:10I think he's losing his mind.
41:13Heartaches.
41:14Did you go in there looking for the parcel?
41:16I did, yeah.
41:17And you didn't see a big fucking present on the floor.
41:19But I'm telling you how I feel.
41:21And bum aches.
41:22How does he feel a bit sick from them sausages?
41:24We're up against some real morons.
41:27But only one team can hold it together.
41:29Oh my God, you've got it.
41:30Reverse.
41:31No, you haven't got it.
41:32You haven't got it.
41:33And escape the box.
41:35Well, that's the end of the show, but not the end of the battle.
41:45And if you want to make money out of people trapped inside a box, then maybe continue collecting your nana's pension after she's died.
41:52See you next time.
41:53We'll do it.
41:54Oftentimes we'll bring it back on the floor.
41:55The next day.
41:56Just see you next time.
41:58Bye.
42:00Let's see you next time.
42:01Give us a round of applause.
Be the first to comment