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Mortimer and Whitehouse Gone Fishing S08E03
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00:00This is the Manchester Iron Open.
00:04Right, so you take me back to your old holts, are you?
00:07Oh, you said you're not interested in the past?
00:09No, I'm not really interested.
00:11But really interested.
00:14So this is Withenshaw.
00:16I like the way you said the with there.
00:18Withenshaw?
00:19This is Withenshaw.
00:21I'm sure I administered law round here somewhere.
00:25There it is!
00:27What?
00:28Talk me through it. Withenshaw Law Centre.
00:31Yeah, so people would come along and would check their benefits.
00:34Yeah.
00:35Help them with housing repairs, damp accommodation, that sort of thing.
00:38And I was half expecting at that point, Paul,
00:41that I might get a round of applause for my contribution
00:44to the social welfare of Manchester.
00:46Yeah, no, fair play. You deserve one. Here you go, look.
00:48Oh, here we go. Thank you.
00:50There you are, for your social conscience and good works, you know.
00:5330 or 40 years ago. You haven't got a social conscience now, have you?
00:56All right, there's a little barb at the end, yeah.
00:58You're always a sting in the tail.
00:59So as I remember, Paul, I think I was in that office at the right there.
01:04There was three of us, three solicitors.
01:10Oi.
01:11I was talking then, Paul.
01:13Yeah.
01:14I was telling you about the Law Centre.
01:16Yeah, you've talked till morning.
01:18Less talk, more fishing, all right?
01:20OK.
01:21So, Paul, this is urban fishing.
01:30Yeah.
01:31This is a canal.
01:32I really like it.
01:33Nice, isn't it?
01:34Fantastic.
01:35The Rochdale Canal.
01:36Right.
01:37It's very important to me, this place, where I spent many a happy year.
01:42I was working, grafting, dancing.
01:46Really, I spent a lot of time there at the end there.
01:47Did you?
01:48Shaking your booty.
01:49Oh, morning.
01:50Morning.
01:51Shaking your booty, yeah?
01:53Look.
01:54Yes, you've got new boots, Paul.
01:55Well done.
01:56Where did you get them from?
01:57They're clearly a big one.
01:58Yeah.
01:59Yeah.
02:00about a point of view.
02:01I've got more boots, but it's very, very big.
02:02I've got some saddle too, too.
02:03It's a bit of light.
02:04Yeah, it's a big one.
02:05Yeah.
02:06That's a big one of my other boots.
02:07Really, I spent a lot of time there at the end there.
02:08Did you?
02:09Shaking your booty?
02:10Oh, morning, morning.
02:11Shaking your booty, yeah?
02:13Look.
02:14Yes, you've got new boots, Paul, well done.
02:15Where did you get them from?
02:16They're clearly a pensioner boot.
02:17They're certainly not a pensioner boot.
02:18Yes, they are, they've got that white sole.
02:20You look like.
02:21Yeah, they're for a rugged, outdoors tight.
02:23But, look at these, they're so much more subtle.
02:26They suit my longer leg as well.
02:30here is for yes gentleman's boot ladies ladies but that really looks like a
02:35ladies orthopedic shoe little wiggling boot minds like get up that mountain
02:49so what about the catch name maybe some little roach gudgeon bleak perch basically
02:58the staple of my fishing when i was a kid because i used to fish canals like this when i was a kid
03:02bob and you caught a fish got one already little perch look check out white house as i said wow
03:08i tell you what though you knock the little perch at your peril bob because they save you
03:14an angler on many a day so first cast paul yep bye-bye little perchy hello ted i'll tell you
03:23what this place is a muppet's town isn't it get me back to london it's not a real city
03:28hello teddy you all right too yeah so i lived in manchester for two three years i loved it here
03:36really loved it what were you doing here bob i don't see you as manchester really i was a student
03:41doing the floor finals and it was my one and only happy experience as a student
03:47what was being in manchester being manchester i was a student where were you where else were you a
03:51student were you like somewhere like leicester i was at leicester and i was at um the university
03:57sussex near brighton why do you do the rounds at all these places bob because i didn't want to face
04:03real life you know so i came to manchester yeah and fell in love with the place and it was because
04:12of one young lab at the time called paddy goal because three years at sussex two years at leicester
04:20never met anyone i can't i couldn't meet people paul and i turned up in the first day here and a
04:28little scouse lad all right i wore a middlesbrough football top to try and say look i'm this type of
04:34person you've tried that for you tried it at brighton didn't work and uh little paddy came up to you said
04:40all right lad i was thinking we start a football team and that was the most amazing gift really
04:48oh wow yeah and i had a really fabulous year here with paddy bendy the walrus bendy yeah bendy chris
04:57the walrus the walrus big tash obviously jonah getting a lot of bites here bob and paul this is
05:07absolutely true this is the thing yeah two weeks ago i got a letter yeah from paddy did you yeah just
05:15telling me what had happened to bendy and all our mates that we all happened to bendy he's right now
05:21so hence yes that's kind of the reason we're right in the middle here i've asked paddy to come along
05:29say hello i haven't seen him for i reckon 30 years you're joking 30 years but he was um so important
05:37in my life you know
05:54bob bob bob yes i know you're in then without knowing that's angling paul you're fishing i'm
06:01angling oh oh i like it i like the distinction look he saw your boots and he went wow and when he saw
06:13that the person who'd caught him was wearing your boots he thought i'm off
06:18you're lying it's a bit grim in it bob
06:34i didn't even put suitable wet weather clothing on look at it should we seek shelter under the bridge
06:42i think we should don't you eminent good they're building aren't they they don't know why but
07:02they're building they can't stop how do they get them cranes up there i don't know bob
07:12paddy's on his way bob i'm gonna go and do some jigging really yeah do you remember this oh your
07:21little sort of debonair yeah debonair you mean debonums there we are go with your booty you look
07:30good man okay bye chance marie thank you old lady walking god them boots paul
07:42good man
07:51buddy how are you doing mate oh man how long is it since i've seen you you're taller than me now
07:57incredible how are you 30 years or something it's not this century you haven't seen it
08:03this century yeah it's true isn't it yeah yeah it's great to see you
08:06my best student year was here in manchester it was great we had a good time didn't we we were out
08:16nearly every night weren't we yep and uh we used to drink five pints and then we'd uh we'd go
08:22home and we get a mongolian cheeseburger yeah yeah from a little place on oxford road i mean this
08:28was a great place wasn't it for a young person it was cheap everywhere was cheap 50p to get in the
08:33hacienda and 50p for a pint incredible wasn't it was my best year as well because it was authentic
08:39wasn't it was a really authentic student experience yeah you're part of a great city and there was
08:44loads going on he's fun hello paddy i'll see you yeah nice to meet you have you caught anything no no
08:51he's got a fishing head on paddy i've seen a bit she is
09:01the other big thing about the year was the footy wasn't it football yeah because you were a good
09:05player weren't you i was on the quiet a decent do you do you do you remember me specialist tackle me
09:10peter basley yeah yeah do you remember your back header i don't you scored a winner with the back
09:16header did i mean to no yeah no it was great year and we had this little group me you bendy jonah
09:24the walrus and we had a lovely time we did it's all that matters in life isn't it those connections
09:29it's all that matters
09:36so when did you pack in the law god i don't know what yeah i was 29 30 right so and you're going back
09:43to it presumably one day one day yeah they won't be back yeah no we did talk about having our own
09:50fair one time did we really yeah it wouldn't last a very long would it god no no we did just had bacon
09:56bombs and talked about 40 wouldn't we you know yeah it's been brilliant seeing you after all these
10:03years yeah paddy thank you for popping down so the next time we'll be about a hundred won't we
10:07you'll be about hundreds yeah
10:19hello chet yeah i'm coming one minute
10:26here you're a good boy
10:26paddy you seem like a very nice guy very calm yeah no sweet sweet god it's it's bittersweet in
10:40some ways because we we had such a lovely time me and paddy here yeah but it also you know we're
10:45talking about seeing the smiths at the hacienda and yeah drinking and all the things we did
10:50and you can't help remembering we was quite young and vibrant yeah big old group of mates playing
10:58football and that and that's all good so there's like a bit of sweet in that sense yeah but you had
11:03it didn't you bob you had it you know yeah still there on it and the the thing is is i think there's
11:09a lesson to be learned because i was a shy lad i know you don't believe me and there's shy lads all
11:14over the place and so that little gift of just letting them into all right yeah how are you what
11:20are you up to because i think a lot of the shy ones are worth having a chat to you know some won't be
11:27yeah but you might be right there bob actually but what a great gift to give so no it was brilliant
11:33i think that's what i think that's what i think that's what i think that's what i think that's
11:48more or less it's used to changing me something in my liberty on my mind
11:56well paul we've done the urban fishing yeah i think it's time that i took you to the accommodation
12:08it may be the highest accommodation i've ever put you in it might even be the most luxurious
12:17because what we're lacking in luxury here yeah i'm gonna make up oh now you're talking
12:26this is a bit flashbulb yeah i think you know this is gonna be good don't you
12:48nice man yeah come on teddy come on ted nice nice room yeah the bedroom's identical paul whoa
12:56oh look at this 15 stories well highest i've ever stayed is it um footballer style
13:05but yeah this actual building point you know it's manchester yeah and when the players from abroad
13:10come this day here luxury life isn't it it is yeah oh hello ted and this is my room teddy
13:18nice room bob you'll like yours what's who here
13:25oh oh you beauty
13:28paul yeah come through here welcome there was a third undocumented bedroom that they're now
13:43calling bob's bedroom oh aren't they who's they everyone from the mayor downwards hey paul
13:49there's more come through here have a look at this oh you look paul it's got a sink for your left
14:02hand sink for your right hand right bath overlooked by many other high dwellers oh yeah yeah do you like
14:10it do you wish it was yours uh i'm not going to give you the benefit of envy bob on my part you're not
14:17getting it all right yeah you do it with your boots though don't you
14:25are we gonna get takeaway get something delivered yeah what do you fancy paul mexican
14:33thai i like thai well you're not having it because i'm getting fish and chips oh are we
14:39fish and chips yeah i'm fishing chips oh okay oh i'll tell you what you're having you're having
14:43gravy you know it's a new thing graze now is to have a gravy gravy's not new bob it's not no but
14:49to have it with your fish all right i'll try it it says it will be that ain't bad go on 20 minutes
14:57that's all right that's tolerable that is because i'm i've got a 20 minute hole there okay yeah i'll
15:03come and join you have you ever lived up north no i haven't actually furthest north you've been
15:14somewhere like harrow or something like that no i've been to john of groats how limited you you
15:19are i've been to many places yeah but yeah perhaps i'm not as adventurous as some men now they all go
15:24off backtracking don't they round the world they're amazing aren't they do you remember in our time there
15:28was the when that rail car came in yeah and that was wow you can go to europe yeah yeah i went on a
15:34my first flight was um propellers so oh you've hit me i went to um italy propellers
15:45italy in the propellers yeah did you have pizza while you were there no but i had a massive tomato
15:50that lasted for six days like that we all just sliced a bit yeah yeah but on your shoulder and off you
15:58went yeah around florence oh there he is what is that fish chip yeah hi there thank you very much
16:10there you go thank you very much northerners are very protective of the fish and chips we reckon our
16:17fish and chips are great i know you're ready for your gravy i'm not sure i am thank you let me try
16:25all that yeah yeah it's all right gravy and chip ted look nah what do you think i am get out of it
16:39coming in there we go night of football thank you fantastic
16:55morning paul ah morning bob thank you uh reprising your role as um tea boy that's a lot of fun your
17:07first job yeah yeah i wasn't a tea boy yes you were nice looking city in it beautiful what a lovely
17:12morning yeah um so where we're fishing today then the river dane the smallish river about 40 minutes away
17:20it's going to be your classics your roach grayling i mean it's a it's a freshwater river pole yeah
17:27they say it's got fresh water fishing in it well should we go and catch them then yep yep
17:4145 minutes out of manchester and here we are in this uh little rural haven eh yeah
17:56so this river dane that i've chosen yes do you know anything of it i know it looks beautiful i don't
18:01know anything about it really bob but i've seen some pictures and it does look very pretty doesn't it
18:07what are you gonna go for i'll go for a grayling i'll trot i'm just gonna trot for and see what
18:12see what you get yeah nice
18:21so here we are paul yeah the river dane oh it looks great doesn't it yeah fantastic little river
18:29well done thank you yeah it's pretty isn't it yeah a bit grim weather will there be any fish in here
18:35yeah of course there will ted get off the bait ted get off ted what's he like he's had a banana
18:43already yeah will you pick a spot oh come on teddy come on ted i'm hoping we get a little bit of sun
18:55peeps through every now and then bob that's all we need oh we need a little peep
19:11the river's rising but the rain's easing off so it's something at least
19:14oh oh i think something's just hit the line i genuinely do no fair enough but you know what i mean
19:25yeah let's see it's a bit further out the back go on swing it up i'll get rid of all that for you
19:33robert there's your valet what's your silly fingers
19:40do you mean thank you no i mean watch your silly fingers things i've put up with from you bob
19:49right here we go pass part two
19:56okay that's good right lock it in lock it down
20:02oh what no i said i think that's just it's it has drifted around still you can keep your hand on
20:11the road why so the wood doesn't fall off and the wind doesn't blow it off and you ruin your presentation
20:19have you ever been in a room with an elephant so you could actually say
20:23hey there's an elephant in the room i mean it'd be the first thing you'd say
20:27yeah obviously yeah have you no i saw a giraffe in the wild once there's no relevance between
20:35those two statements well they're both big animals aren't they yeah but one was outside
20:38where you'd expect it to be like an elephant big fish under right under that tree over there
20:43giraffe in the room you haven't seen a giraffe in a room have you no i'll tell you what i saw in the
20:49wild a giraffe and only 100 yards from it was a rhinoceros okay and rhinoceroses are big things you
20:57know paul really honestly really i always imagine they were sort of really small
21:05no honestly they're really big are they bloody hell that's all you know yeah
21:19can i say something bob i think if there was any hope of us catching a fish and there was some chub
21:27in there they would have taken that meat by now will you have a nickname keith downey
21:34of the disappointment honestly you're so odious odious maximus
21:40up pompeii remember that yeah i sat behind frankie howard once and he was leaning forward yeah and
21:47honestly you could have fitted a little mouse under his wig it all stuck really well not a mouse you
21:56could probably got a liquorice also yes no yes who's that in the back there is that a mouse
22:03oh please yourselves
22:13right let's try a different spot bob come on
22:22the weather's on the turn again but they ain't gonna stop us
22:34hey ted
22:35you're my angling hero paul no you are can you imagine you're somebody's hero yeah it's nice to be
22:44your hero bob you're my comedy hero oh that's nice yeah
23:00yeah i'm in something good get the net bob it's right there wind yours in because this
23:07quite a nice fish it's not massive but it's a grayling you've got a net get a net you're killing
23:13me i'm not look that's why you're my hero paul do you understand get a net and get a net and get a
23:21net wallop yes a granny wow bob what a treat to get a granny
23:31honey wow he's fresh a beautiful grayling what a beautiful surprise that wasn't that amazing i mean
23:38i know we said we might but oh you can see the lilac off you go and away well done there she goes
23:46okay okay get out of it how about that nice eh oh my god
23:54oh my god should we go go in the car have a cup of tea or something to see if this passes yeah this
24:06is crazy isn't it
24:15blimey bob i'm glad to be out of that it's getting worse isn't it i didn't think it could get any worse
24:21i don't think we're going to be catching much else after this that river's going to go it was
24:25oh yes i know it's like december or something isn't it nice cup of tea
24:34oh it's nice and hot i can feel it oh that is hot isn't it all right teddy it's okay mate
24:39he's got cold hasn't he good boy yeah hasn't he it's funny when ted's in the car and he's wet
24:43it takes on the smell of a yeast factory oh he's in my lap that he's on not yours mate
24:51i quite enjoyed this ball it's okay about yeah wait till it passes it's a little haven
25:06someone really famous thought was sting it's always sting the other day he was on the tally
25:13yeah and he said oh it's great to be back in england and you know what said when the sun is shining
25:20there is no nowhere more beautiful in the whole world do you know what that's what he said
25:26i saw that concert and he went when you are coming back to hangland and the sun is shining it's the best
25:32place place ever to be right rocks on hey stopping now bob's fine there's sun over this way
25:48i bought some new taps the other day to celebrate um a new day national tap though
26:07oh yes what yeah anyway yeah your new taps yeah bath taps for national tap day yeah and they're so
26:18bright really that i have to wear sp50 wow they're that when i'm in the bath so that bright i got it
26:24wrong and i bought some tap shoes i've got international tap day well i know it's yeah people do
26:30what color are your taps like the sun it's a brighter silver it's like beyond chrome
26:37is that what it's called it's that's a great color isn't it beyond chrome
26:45oh that is my beautiful
26:48hey paul isn't it lovely to finish this trip in the sunshine it's glorious ain't it i can't
27:04you can't comprehend it it was this is the same day as earlier yeah amazing this is it this is when
27:10it makes sense in it yeah this is when two old codgers with their fragile bones yeah weak minds
27:18can actually have a nice little time yeah i enjoyed staying in that luxury accommodation paul and
27:23living the high life like a football the footballers we weren't yeah for a few days
27:29i'll tell you what though bob we've got so much more than footballers haven't we you reckon
27:34we've got this and i've got you yeah we've got each other imagine that yeah fish on bob fish on i mean
27:46not fish on but let us fish on
27:51nobody can tell you there's only one song worth singing they may try and sell you
28:01because it hangs them up to see someone like you
28:07but you've gotta make your own kind of music
28:14sing your own special song make your own kind of music
28:22even if nobody else sings along
28:25you're gonna be
28:30you're gonna be nowhere
28:33you're gonna be nowhere
28:35the loneliest kind of lonely
28:37it may be rough going
28:40just to do your thing
28:43the hardest thing to do
28:47but you've gotta make your own kind of music
28:54sing your own special song
28:57make your own
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