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Mortimer and Whitehouse Gone Fishing Season 8 Episode 100 Christmas Special 2025
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00:00So, Paul, we're on a steam train.
00:04What does that mean?
00:06I think it means it's Christmas.
00:08It's the Christmas show, yeah.
00:10Yeah.
00:11But it's not very Christmassy out there, Bob.
00:12Yeah, well, it isn't, but it's the Christmas show.
00:15Right.
00:18Do you know where we're heading?
00:20Um...
00:21I'll tell you where we're heading.
00:22We're heading to the centre of Christmas this year.
00:25Oh, right, and who decides where it's centred?
00:28Me, of course.
00:30Silly of you.
00:31Of course, it's you, isn't it?
00:32Do you know where it might be?
00:34Give us a clue.
00:35Ted's got a little hint.
00:36Oh, right, OK.
00:40It's a Cornish pasty.
00:41We're going to Cornwall.
00:43Wow, nice.
00:47We're going to actually, on our way to Cornwall,
00:49we'll fish on a beautiful river called the River Lid in Devon.
00:53Then we'll be fishing in Cornwall.
00:54Really?
00:54Yeah.
00:55We've got the award ceremony, special Christmas dinner,
00:58some beautiful accommodation.
01:01Right.
01:01For our Cornish Christmas adventure.
01:04Oh, lovely.
01:06This carriage is called a Pullman carriage, fancy.
01:09It was the personal carriage of Winston Churchill.
01:12And it was in this carriage
01:13that he had a meeting with General Eisenhower
01:16to discuss the D-Day landings.
01:18We might be in their seats.
01:19We might be in their seats.
01:21Harvey Churchill, because facing forward.
01:22I've got to, am I, you silly egg?
01:24Did you call me a silly egg?
01:25No, no, no, no, no.
01:26No, no, no, no, no.
01:30Come, Ted.
01:57Good boy.
01:58I don't want to come with David.
02:00You told me we was going to Cornwall.
02:02We're on our way to Cornwall, Ted.
02:04Drag me down some muggy old river.
02:06What's the matter with you, Long River?
02:08And the other one, I forgot his name, to be honest.
02:13So this is it, Paul?
02:14Yeah. The river Laid.
02:15Yeah, beautiful, isn't it, Bob?
02:17I'll start down there, you get in there, yeah?
02:20Righty-o.
02:21What are we fishing for, though?
02:22Well, trout and sea trout as well.
02:26Look, we've got one of those views, Paul, through there.
02:28Oh, we have.
02:29It's a portal, isn't it?
02:30It's a portal to the Magic Kingdom.
02:32Who knows what?
02:33Yeah.
02:34Right.
02:35Let's do it.
02:36Do you have roast potatoes and mashed potatoes with your Christmas dinner, Paul?
02:37I would, if I was offered it.
02:38Do you have roast potatoes and mashed potatoes with your Christmas dinner, Paul?
02:39I would, if I was offered it.
02:40You know in Cornwall?
02:41Yeah.
02:42They like to have a bit of fish.
02:43Really?
02:44What are they French?
02:45Turbot or halibut.
02:46That sort of thing.
02:47Oh, yeah.
02:48Nice.
02:49Oh, yeah.
02:50Nice.
02:51Oh, yeah.
02:52Oh, yeah.
02:53Oh, yeah.
02:54Oh, yeah.
02:55Oh, yeah.
02:56Oh, yeah.
02:57Oh, yeah.
02:58Oh, yeah.
02:59Oh, yeah.
03:00Oh, yeah.
03:01Do you have roast potatoes and mashed potatoes with your Christmas dinner, Paul?
03:05I would, if I was offered it.
03:07You know in Cornwall?
03:08Yeah.
03:09They like to have a bit of fish.
03:11Really?
03:12What are they?
03:13French?
03:14Turbot or halibut, that sort of thing.
03:15Oh, yeah.
03:16Nice.
03:26Are you caught again?
03:28Oh, thank God.
03:29You get it?
03:30Yeah.
03:35Would you describe me as fat?
03:37No.
03:39I'm overweight, but you say there's a fat bloke over there.
03:42Well, not really, Bob.
03:44You've got a sort of big round head, haven't you?
03:47But you're not fat, no.
03:49Oh, he's in.
03:51Oh.
03:52Oh.
03:53Oh.
03:54Oh.
03:55Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:57Oh, Bob, you all right, mate?
04:01I'm absolutely fine, bro.
04:02Are you?
04:03I'm wet.
04:04It was a bit cold as well, wasn't it?
04:06Fat and wet.
04:08Lucky you had that layer of blubber there for buoyancy.
04:11Bloody hell, Bob, you all right?
04:13Yeah, no, I'm fine.
04:15Come on, go and suck yourself out.
04:23Did you hurt yourself, Guy, any?
04:24I took a bit of a bang on the...
04:26On the rump.
04:28On the rump?
04:29On the rump.
04:30On the rump.
04:31I've got one rump and one butter.
04:32Have you?
04:33Unusual, isn't it?
04:34It is very unusual.
04:35Oh, man.
04:36I'll tell you what, with Christmas this year, Bob, here's a little thing for you.
04:43Oh, yeah, go on.
04:44I don't think my Christmases will ever be the same.
04:47Yeah.
04:48Last Christmas, on Christmas Day, Grandad, me father-in-law, was in hospital.
04:55Yeah.
04:56And so on Christmas Day, me and my son took him his present.
04:59It was a nice little steam train calendar.
05:01Oh, yeah.
05:02But when we got there, he was fast asleep.
05:04Ah, right.
05:05And he couldn't be roused, so we just said, Happy Christmas to him.
05:08And took the present back?
05:09No, we gave him the present for when he woke up and that.
05:12Yeah.
05:13And then when we got home, there was a phone call from the ward, and he died by the time we got home.
05:21We sort of thought to ourselves, me and Tom, my son, that maybe, just maybe, he heard us say Happy Christmas.
05:30Yeah.
05:31And then say goodbye.
05:32Yeah.
05:33And he thought, all right, I'll turn off now then.
05:35That was nice.
05:36Well, it's possible, isn't it?
05:37It's possible.
05:38You know, maybe.
05:39On Christmas Day.
05:40On Christmas Day.
05:45He liked steam engines and he liked beer.
05:48There's plenty of them about, isn't there?
05:49That's a man, isn't it?
05:50Yeah.
05:51Rod Stewart, he likes steam engines and beer, doesn't he?
05:54Yeah.
05:55Apparently.
05:56It's a type, isn't it?
05:57It is a type.
05:58Yeah, yeah.
05:59It is.
06:03Oh.
06:05That's too close in, I think.
06:19I'm in Bob you're in you're in yep what were you thinking little trout not it's not so little
06:34and I don't know what it is yet well done man first Christmas catch I think it's a grayling
06:40yes it's a good I think it's a grayling yeah it is a grayling it's a nice one as well
06:48oh Bob look at him go on get him yes oh Paul it's a whopper that is the biggest one we've ever caught
06:56it is isn't it look at that see this pin oh that's so beautiful right let's get him back
07:03beautiful creature beautiful creature there you go and away well done Paul god it's cold that water
07:13isn't it lovely are we having a cup of tea darling yes I'd love a cup of tea I've got some special
07:18treats having them Christmas treats for you oh nice so this is me Christmas spread wow look at that
07:30your log gingerbread man that one's me that one's you okay obviously yeah look what I've got here Paul
07:39oh mince pies heating by the camping stove oh come on Teddy it's nothing to do with you Ted
07:49yeah but it is yeah but it is no it's nothing to do with you yeah but it is
07:56nicely judged Mr mince pie as they call you it's really heated for a while isn't it
08:02there you go Teddy I have got some cream
08:06so well Ted do you want a bit of squirty cream I wonder if he squirted it into his mouth he'd just
08:12keep going and he'd grow up and then
08:15exactly
08:19I'll never go fish with the nymph right where there's one grayling there's more there's more
08:31yeah just mind that those berries right whoa that's beautiful you're lucky so keep that line off the
08:39water track it down give that little line of mend that's it like that's good
08:46another calf oh boom boom oh nice that's good fish Bob it's a good fish I know it's a good fish I
08:57can see it is I think you might have a seat right there or a big gray it's a good fish go on and try
09:03and get it on the reel but mainly keep contact okay so now don't wind that's good fish Bob I'm on the
09:09right you can wind a little bit go on have you got the net yeah
09:18I haven't even seen it yet Bob have you no it's too big to see
09:24it's a massive trout all right please don't go come on come on come on we've got to get this fish
09:34come on come on yes wow that's a lovely sea trout Bob look at it you can I think when we're talking
09:50records here Paul I'm gonna get onto the mare oh we'll get him back yeah what a magnificent fish
09:56wow well done Bob hold him till he's ready I think he'll be gone soon but not gonna get better than
10:08that Paul no it ain't Bob let's go to the accommodation okay first thank you for that
10:13sir well done mate I don't fucking move really but oh there's a big lump here and I don't mean me
10:18hey all right oh that sea trout well yeah I'm gonna haunt you for years he tugged you didn't
10:29you lying you're never gonna let it lie are you never no I thought for Christmas I'd bring you
10:44somewhere yeah so special it would rip your heart out of your body cleanse it and return it
10:51oh let's hope so it knows needs a bit of an upgrade Bob really because this place is gorgeous
10:56whoa is that the sea and to your right here oh camel quarry house oh look at that well thank you Bob
11:07our best yet it's a beauty could be Cornish beauty come on
11:12whoa telly tick come off see the bedrooms go on it up you go you sprite the old fella I'm gonna take
11:26a chance on a left oh this one is very me Paul I've chosen but I'll join you on your quest come on
11:35yes oh I've made a terrible mistake you are Bob feel free to enjoy the view for about eight seconds
11:45eight seconds is not enough
11:47come on Bob you've seen enough
11:51upstairs
11:53boom yeah boom banger bang boom isn't that something wow I feel like we've arrived because
12:08that is Cornwall that's the camel estuary yeah and it's most beautiful writ large in it got a special
12:16guest coming soon any minute now in fact so behave yourself can you get rid of your windy pops now
12:22do you like the look of this Paul char coot tree is what they call it char coot tree
12:42I'm talking tree that's Ted's dog biscuits and a bit of cheese all right did he do that absolutely yeah
12:52I just want to be in a sandwich oh that's lovely a couple
13:22you want to see what this is going in my husband has made you this it's a cake yes it's a fruit
13:28get sultana and cherries lovely with icing on the top because what he knows about you too I mean he
13:36he likes you but I like you more he knows that both of you are on my I'm allowed to list no you are kidding
13:44yeah let's get to it come on but it is only if he's conked oh right and if you were both single which you're not yeah so it's not gonna happen no it's not is it no but you know so we've got a cake in lieu have we yeah you have
13:59no I'll bring this over right come on you come in turn
14:06so this is cornwall this is your your parish yeah well it's it's a tricky one for me this because half of my family are from Devon
14:14and half are from Cornwall so so I'm sort of jewel heritage it's a bit war of the roses kind of you're quite synonymous with Christmas well I suppose so the free Christmas dinners yeah yeah yeah you actually really
14:33did you actually really you know how they make telly I ate one brussels sprang you're joking mate
14:40that whole thing you've broken his heart
14:42oh boy I will
14:44Don will you ever do another dibley do you think no there's there's only one person left but there's only James left out of the whole cast imagine that that's what happens when you start a sitcom with older people
14:56yeah Bob gone fishing on his own yeah laughing at my demo not necessarily on your own Bob I'm here
15:03I'm not great at Christmas you know it's not that I don't like it I think as I've got older and I've lost people in my family I find Christmas when you're supposed to be jolly
15:14too much so I get a bit melancholy just before Christmas but then I every single Christmas there is a proper Christmas miracle
15:23well and it might just be that I you know to get myself out of a grump because it's not fair on everybody else but I actually do cheer up by Christmas day Christmas
15:32but the week before I can have a bit of a slump I think the weird thing for me is that Christmas takes you back to childhood and until I miss my mum and dad
15:40at Christmas yeah
15:42can I offer you anything yeah you can I'll have a bit of salami do you know what I'll move it over Dawn then you're not
15:52Ted Ted here look look what I've got try this Ted look there we go oh the enderbite is working hard on that
16:03Cornwall the most beautiful county
16:12oh yes no question and can I just say jam first always no exceptions just leave it at that
16:20well I do agree I don't think you can consider cream of butter
16:24correct you can't Bob I'm not getting drawn in on this cream is the crown
16:29do you fancy staying for a game of mousetrap
16:33um no come on Dawn it's gonna be great
16:36do you fancy coming in a hot tub with us
16:38um I'd rather put my eyes out if that's all right with you
16:43fair enough
16:45I sense where you come from
16:47I've seen that nicely I said don't ask Bob didn't I
16:51and you were right you were right
17:10did you have a nice sleep
17:11not bad yeah
17:12we've got to get going
17:13I know we ever got fish
17:14oh I forgot Paul what I should say is I didn't forget but I've got the last three windows
17:19of the advent calendar to open
17:21do you want to do one you do today I'll do tomorrow
17:24that's nice isn't it Bob I like that
17:26it's a good one isn't it
17:27yeah good things isn't it
17:29great things mainly chocolates
17:31right but little bits of fun jewellery
17:33oh trinkets
17:34trinkets
17:35okay
17:37what'd you get
17:39a little bit of breadstick
17:41oh that's a bit unlucky isn't it
17:43this is a trick isn't it
17:44no it's not
17:45you've enjoyed it haven't you little breadstick boy
17:47I do I do like breadstick yeah
17:49we've got to get go
17:50that is the estuary of the river we're fishing today the river camel
17:53yeah we're fishing upstream
17:55mmm
17:56I'll be able to go all day after this breadstick won't I
17:59after this breadstick
18:00don't worry I've got some stuff to take
18:02how we lad
18:08it's a treat seeing dawn last night wasn't it
18:10it was lovely
18:11she's a very positive presence isn't she
18:13yes yes she is yeah
18:15big big day though Paul innit
18:17awards ceremony
18:18oh
18:19big big day
18:20who's hosting this year do you know
18:22I think I'll host it this year
18:24what a surprise
18:25it means we couldn't get anyone did it
18:36here we are
18:37lovely innit
18:38this is the camel valley Bob the river camel
18:40right
18:41in Tresarap we are
18:42and on the menu today
18:44yeah
18:45trout
18:46trout
18:47sea trout
18:48sea trout as well
18:49yeah possibly salmon
18:50lovely
18:59it's coming on Christmas
19:01they're cutting down trees
19:03they're putting up rain
19:05they're singing songs of joy and peace
19:08I wish I had a river
19:11I could skate away on
19:16I wish I had a river so long
19:39oh I've got missed him
19:41Oh, God, I missed him.
19:43Oh, man.
19:45Teach my feet to fly.
19:52Yes.
19:54Hey, well done, Bob.
19:57Little brownie.
19:59Very nice.
20:02And away.
20:04Hey.
20:05Oh, it was an incredible bit of fishing, Paul.
20:07Yeah, I'm sure it was, Bob.
20:09If you did it, I'm sure it was superlative.
20:13Good stuff.
20:27I would say, Paul, that was maybe my most enjoyable bit
20:30of fishing I've ever done.
20:31Really?
20:32It was fantastic, yeah.
20:33Oh, brilliant.
20:34I don't know, just something about the flow of the river
20:37and the light.
20:38Yeah.
20:39The light is incredible here, isn't it?
20:41Yeah.
20:44You look so sexy in those glasses, Paul.
20:47Honestly, you look nothing like Ant-Man.
20:50Shut up.
20:51Or some sort of insect.
20:52I do look like a wasp or something, don't I?
20:54Yeah, you're a very waspy character, actually.
20:56Oh, blimey, Ted.
20:58What are we going to do with him?
21:00Ted isn't in great nature.
21:01No, all right, Bob.
21:02He's quite as in here shortly.
21:04Mind you, he's quite deaf now.
21:05Yeah.
21:06But he doesn't look very well, does he?
21:08But he does seem happy.
21:10He does, actually, doesn't he?
21:12He does seem happy.
21:13Well, I'd say content.
21:14Content.
21:15When my son went to see Grandad in hospital, afterwards, he said to me he was glad he had,
21:25because he said, I've got to get used to loss, you know?
21:29Oh, wow.
21:30When he was a really young boy, suddenly, one day I walked up the stairs and there was a window
21:36there and he put, he put, stuck little letters up saying, Tina, see you, see you in the future.
21:43And it was our little cat, Tina, had died.
21:45Oh, wow.
21:46And I know he was really affected by it.
21:48Right.
21:49And it's tough when you, it's tough when a pet dies, it's really tough.
21:53Hmm.
21:54Because as your friendships come and go, you know, or you've got to, you've failed to maintain them or you do.
21:59Yeah.
22:00You know, but your friendship with your pet is so pure, do you know what I mean?
22:03And no, that's a very valid point.
22:05It's the devotion that they show you don't get from any other living creature, really, do you?
22:11Heartbreaking.
22:12Hmm.
22:18It is brilliant to have a friend like you, you know, Paul.
22:21Don't have a go at me for saying it.
22:23It's amazing.
22:24Ant man, wasp face, wizened little walnut.
22:28Yeah, but...
22:29Yeah?
22:30That's because you like me.
22:32That you allow me to do it.
22:33I can take it, Bob.
22:34Really.
22:35I really can take it.
22:36Don't worry, mate.
22:37Imagine a world without friendship, because a lot of people live in that world, Paul.
22:40Well, yeah, that's true, Bobby.
22:42I'm just hanging onto it with you.
22:44You are fingernails, innit?
22:45But, well, thanks for that, Bob.
22:46And I feel the same.
22:47You know that.
22:48Don't you?
22:49You do know that, don't you, Bob?
22:50I don't.
22:51We only come out to see each other, I know it really.
22:53Yeah.
22:54Hey, Teddy.
23:07Dr Anand's coming today.
23:09Oh, right, he's here, is he?
23:10Yeah.
23:11Oh, okay.
23:12Don't you tell Anand I've been having salami.
23:13Oh, he won't like that, will he?
23:14Well, I've just had a chocolate biscuit.
23:15That's probably not much good, either.
23:16You're going to mention it, aren't you?
23:17No, I'm not.
23:18We'll see.
23:19Let's see how it all plays out, Bob.
23:20I know what you're like, so...
23:21You think the first thing I'm going to say to Anand is, Paul's just had a chocolate biscuit?
23:24Then it's not.
23:25The first thing I'll say is, you know what Paul's done?
23:27He's only gone and had a chocolate biscuit, haven't he?
23:28Anandos, and I should say, oh, that's fine.
23:29Anandos?
23:30I really haven't had Anandos, Anandos.
23:31I'm not.
23:32I'm not.
23:33I'm not.
23:34I'm not.
23:35I'm not.
23:36I'm not.
23:37I'm not.
23:38I'm not.
23:39I'm not.
23:40I'm not.
23:41I'm not.
23:42I'm not.
23:43I'm not.
23:44I'm not.
23:45I'm not.
23:46I'm not.
23:47I'm not.
23:48I'm not.
23:49I'm not.
23:50I'm not.
23:51I'm not.
23:52We'll see.
23:53Let's see how it all plays out, Bob.
23:54I know what you're like, so...
23:55Anandos.
23:56Anand.
23:57Chickens and prescriptions.
24:04Anand!
24:05There he is.
24:06I'm following Ted in.
24:07Look, Ted's leading the way.
24:08Oh, easy.
24:09I know.
24:10Easy.
24:11I've got trainers on.
24:12How are we?
24:13Lovely to see you.
24:14Lovely to be seen.
24:15I don't want to trip over Ted.
24:16I don't want to trip over Ted.
24:19You look like one of the prettiest gnomes I've ever seen.
24:22Don't you think?
24:23Look.
24:24Oh, thanks.
24:25I've wooden him.
24:26I'll take that in whatever spirit you're going to.
24:28All day long, yeah.
24:29Yeah, yeah.
24:30Fine.
24:31So Anand, the first thing I wanted to ask genuinely is...
24:33Sure.
24:34...is just earlier today, Paul had two chocolate biscuits and some cake.
24:41Right, first of all, it was one chocolate biscuit.
24:44Was it?
24:45Sure.
24:46And I just had a little cherry out of the cake.
24:47That's all I nibbled, right?
24:49We had cake and salami.
24:51I'm not here to police you.
24:53Well, we wish you would.
24:55People don't like being nagged.
24:57Yeah.
24:58So what I'm here to do is I'm here to steer you hopefully in a direction.
25:01And if you want to take my advice, take my advice.
25:02If you don't worry, that's absolutely fine.
25:04But equally, you know, we've all got to make our choices and deal with the consequences.
25:08It is a bit of compromise, isn't it?
25:09I was always told if 80% of your diet is good, you're allowed 20% to do, you know, indulge yourself with salami.
25:15See, I tell myself 70-30, so I give myself a little bit more leeway.
25:18Well, there we are. I'm coming over to your way.
25:21Just some general things that have interested me recently, Anand, was a lot of people around me are taking vitamin supplements.
25:28Yes.
25:29All sorts of supplements.
25:30Somehow I don't believe that that pill or liquid is the same as a leaf of spinach.
25:35I don't think it is. I don't think it is, Bob.
25:37So you're absolutely right. Supplements are brilliant if you've got a deficient diet.
25:41The supplements you need need to be tailored to your age range, and they need to be tailored to whatever disease is going on.
25:47Or your diet, for example. If you're vegetarian or vegan, you might lack protein, you might lack calcium if you don't eat dairy.
25:54So it's kind of like, well, what do we need?
25:56And if you're a 70-kilo, 65-year-old, you need to be taking 70 to 80 grams of protein per day.
26:02You should be getting some of that, if you eat meat, from meat, a bit of oily fish, lentils, pulses, eggs, cheese.
26:09You know, all those sources are good sources of protein.
26:11And why particularly for older people?
26:13So as you get older, your ability to hold on to muscle gets less.
26:17So you get something, what's called sarcopenia, where literally your muscles start to dissolve away as you get older.
26:22And having poorer muscle strength, which we're going to test in a bit, is linked to living longer.
26:27So actually, if your muscle strength is poorer, you actually become frail.
26:30And frailty is basically a condition where any small change to your health could knock you over into losing independent living.
26:36And that could be like, you know, you can't live in your own home anymore.
26:39You can't do stairs.
26:40So I've got a little testing thing here.
26:42Right.
26:43We're just going to use your grip strength.
26:44And they did a study of 150,000 people, and they found that your grip strength is a better marker of your long-term health than your blood pressure.
26:52Really?
26:53So that's why I brought it today, just to see, because it's such an easy thing to do.
26:56Yeah, yeah.
26:57You can get these online so easily.
26:58I'm excited.
26:59Do you want to have a go?
27:00Yeah.
27:01Okay.
27:02The idea is that you hold it like that at right angles.
27:04Right.
27:05Okay.
27:06And what you're doing is squeezing as hard as you can when I say now.
27:09Ready?
27:10And on three.
27:11One, two, three, go.
27:13Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.
27:16Good man.
27:1728.2.
27:18Yeah.
27:19That's the bad one.
27:20Obviously, this is not necessarily the perfect test if you've got hand arthritis.
27:23Yeah, yeah.
27:24But 28.2, what that means is that you have a level of sort of hand strength and fitness
27:29that is above the minimum level, which is really important.
27:32The minimum level for men is kind of about 25 kilograms, and it's 18 for women.
27:37Right.
27:38If yours is below that, you're actually really at high risk of having low muscle mass.
27:42You're more likely to fall over, more likely to break your hip, more likely to lose your mobility,
27:46and more likely to end up in a home.
27:48So, it's really important.
27:49I'm worried now.
27:50You're going to smash me to pieces on this.
27:52Right.
27:53So, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.
27:56Done.
27:5743.
27:5843!
27:59Jeez, I'll never hear the end of it.
28:01I knew it.
28:02Can I just say, that is the sign of a healthy level of muscle at your age.
28:06What?
28:07That's fantastic.
28:08Oh, please.
28:0943.9.
28:10That's amazing.
28:1115 seconds ago, I thought I'm heading to a care home.
28:14No, mate.
28:15No.
28:16Now I'm striding past it saying, hello, Paul.
28:18Yeah.
28:19Hey, Lan, would you have a bit of mulled wine?
28:22I'd love a bit of mulled wine.
28:25I made this myself on my farm.
28:27No, you didn't.
28:28Correct.
28:32Well, thank you so much for coming.
28:34Yeah.
28:35Merry Christmas.
28:36For our bag side consultations.
28:37They're a joy.
28:38Mm.
28:39Look how pleased you are.
28:42Yeah.
28:56There's a kind of musty smell around.
28:59I can only imagine it's you, Bob.
29:02Be slightly more...
29:04What do you mean?
29:05Is it biscuity?
29:06Oxo-cubin old man?
29:09Yeah.
29:10Well, I had an oxo-cubin with biscuits and I'm an old man.
29:12And you're an old man.
29:13Well, there we are.
29:14Got it spot on, then.
29:17Let's have a smell of you.
29:19Go on, then.
29:21What do you reckon?
29:22Don't know.
29:23Have you been eating eggs?
29:25Oh, no.
29:26That's probably trapped wind in me waders, isn't it?
29:28Oh, great.
29:29Yeah.
29:31I'm gonna have to go off and get the awards ceremony ready.
29:35Oh, okay.
29:36Be smart though, Paul.
29:38Yeah?
29:39What, for the awards?
29:40Yeah, and be respectful of the occasion.
29:41I've arranged transport for you.
29:43Don't you worry.
29:44Well, will the occasion respect me?
29:46Of course it will.
29:48Ish.
29:49Yeah.
29:50See you at the awards, Paul.
29:52I cannot wait.
29:53We should have an award for wrist strength.
29:56The hopes we had were much too high
30:02We're out of reach but we have to try
30:08The game will never be over
30:12Because we're keeping the dream alive
30:17How are you?
30:22How are you?
30:23Lovely to see you.
30:24You're okay.
30:25Lovely to see you.
30:26I'm fine.
30:27Welcome.
30:28Thanks for having us, Paul.
30:29Yeah.
30:30I was actually looking for Rick Steyer's place.
30:31Yeah, just down there.
30:33But listen, I am absolutely honoured that you've chosen us
30:36for these prestigious awards.
30:37Biggious awards.
30:38And aren't they?
30:39Yeah.
30:40They are.
30:41So come on in.
30:47A Cornish Christmas dinner.
30:50That's what we're looking for.
30:51Yeah.
30:52Well this is a Cornish Christmas dinner.
30:53Right.
30:54With a difference because we're going to replace
30:56What people would ordinarily probably have
30:58Yeah.
30:59Turkey, hams, beef.
31:00Yep.
31:01We're going to do a whole baked turbot
31:03But with all the trimmings.
31:04Yeah.
31:05And a lovely sort of turbot chicken gravy.
31:07Wow.
31:08Which you're going to help me to do.
31:09Yes please.
31:14I mean I've got five BAFTAs.
31:16Five.
31:17But nothing beats a gone fishing lifetime achievement.
31:21Just like to thank my family but most of all Ted for being such a stalwart companion.
31:30Grab that will ya.
31:32With cooking it always starts at the beginning building up those layers of flavour.
31:36Yeah.
31:37So in here we've got some rosemary and thyme.
31:38Right.
31:39So what we do is we just take some of that rosemary and thyme.
31:42Yep.
31:43Put it in between our hands because what all herbs they contain essential oils.
31:47So if you just have a smell of that now.
31:48Lovely.
31:49Right.
31:50Just get that into our garlic, our shallots.
31:51Beginning to smell like Christmas.
31:53How much does a kitchen like this cost?
31:56Half a million pounds.
31:58Ooh.
31:59Yeah.
32:00Oops.
32:01Sell some food then.
32:02Yeah.
32:03Yeah.
32:04Come on Ted.
32:07Come on.
32:08I can hardly contain myself.
32:10I don't know about you.
32:11I've come in my own time shall.
32:12Afternoon sir.
32:13Can I come aboard?
32:14Yeah.
32:15Whoa look at that fella.
32:16Look at that.
32:17It's a beauty.
32:18Yes it is.
32:19So that's what a turbot looks like.
32:20Yeah that's a turbot.
32:21We regard this as king of the sea.
32:22Right.
32:23It's just superior in flavour.
32:24With it being Christmas I've got a lovely Cornish sparkling wine in with the onions.
32:28All right.
32:29Lay the turbot on top and bake in the oven.
32:30Right.
32:31Let's do this.
32:32That lovely Ted.
32:33Look at the panstow over there.
32:35Yeah.
32:36Yeah.
32:37Yeah.
32:38Yeah.
32:39Yeah.
32:40Yeah.
32:41Yeah.
32:42Yeah.
32:43Yeah.
32:44Yeah.
32:45Yeah.
32:46Yeah.
32:47Yeah.
32:48Yeah.
32:49Yeah.
32:50Yeah.
32:51Yeah.
32:52Yeah.
32:53Yeah.
32:54Yeah.
32:55Yeah.
32:56Hey Ted look there's panstow over there.
32:58That's where we're going.
32:59The panit, that's where the big ceremony is.
33:09You know I'm up for the next James Bond, don't you?
33:12Do me a favour.
33:22Cut a dash, don't I, mate, eh?
33:24You said you were deaf as opposed, didn't you?
33:26Hold on.
33:31Right, let's get these cabbages on.
33:33So we're just going to brush them with a little bit of butter.
33:35And then I want you to put them that side down on the barbecue.
33:39Perfect. And we've just lightly steamed these cabbages...
33:43Right. ..so that they're nice and cooked
33:44and we just get flavour from the barbecue.
33:47That's beautiful. Yes, now we're cooking.
33:52Come, Ted. Come on.
33:54Walk, there he is. This is the place, little old mum.
33:57I'll tell you what, you know, dogs aren't normally allowed in here. Come on.
34:01I'm allowed anywhere I want, mate.
34:02I'll go anywhere I like, South London, East London,
34:05South of France, Choraiso, Willis-Wayne, like...
34:08Sigh, ladybird, hmm.
34:23Good evening, sir. Hello. Hi. What do you want?
34:26Well, could I look at the menu or see the wine list?
34:29Would you like to see the wine list? Yeah, I would, thank you.
34:31There you go.
34:34Actually, we don't serve wine to the over-80s.
34:38It can put them into shock.
34:41Are you a half-wit or something?
34:43Some people say so.
34:45I'm not surprised.
34:46Will you be requiring the entertainment tonight, sir?
34:50Oh, well, er...
34:51I see you've got a hound with you, no hounds.
34:53Yeah, no, er, he's got a special dispensation.
34:56He's not any old hound.
34:57Who is he, then?
34:58It's, er, it's Ted.
34:59Ted the dog?
35:00Yeah.
35:01He's actually a sort of guest of Bob Mortimer's.
35:07Who did you say?
35:09You're so easy, aren't you?
35:11Bob Mortimer! It's you, isn't it?
35:12Yeah! It's you!
35:14Aw!
35:15You can see a wine list.
35:16Yeah, thank you, sir.
35:17There you go. Thank you very much.
35:19I've been preparing...
35:20I'm going to call it a Cornish Christmas dinner.
35:23Not what you might expect.
35:25Really?
35:26Have you been helping in the kitchen?
35:27I've been helping, yeah.
35:28Have you?
35:28Cos I heard the fire alarm go off.
35:30Yeah?
35:30What did you do?
35:31I was burning cabbage.
35:33Oh, it really?
35:34Yeah.
35:35Well, that will do it, then.
35:39What do I need? Looking forward to this.
35:41It's on its way. It looks amazing.
35:45Cheers.
35:47Oh, it didn't clink.
35:48That's fancy glasses.
35:49Isn't it? Wow.
35:52Gah!
35:53Look at that!
35:54Oh, thank you so much.
35:55Roast turbot with all the trimmings.
35:57Roast turbot!
35:59And there you have it.
36:01Enjoy.
36:02And thanks for your help, Bob.
36:03Thank you. No worries.
36:04Thank you, Paul.
36:06I'm going in. Come on.
36:07Oh.
36:08Turbot is amazing.
36:11You really do spoil me, Bob.
36:13Well, work stews come along once a year.
36:16We might as well make the most of it, Paul.
36:19How many categories are there this year?
36:20Two.
36:22So, that'd be quick, yeah?
36:28There will be laughter and prizes galore.
36:33Who's going to miss and who's going to score?
36:36It's the Gone Fishin' Annual Awards!
36:44Who loves you, baby?
36:47First up, Paul.
36:49Employee of the Year.
36:50This is the trophy you won last year.
36:53So, it has to be returned, I'm afraid.
36:56Oh, no.
36:57I don't really want to give it back, Bob.
36:59It's become such a part of my life, but...
37:01Here we go.
37:02Nominations are...
37:04Let's see.
37:06Yeah!
37:07Let's fish.
37:10Yeah, you got me. First cast, you got me, Bob.
37:11Well, why were you still there?
37:13Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob.
37:14Yes, I know.
37:15You're in, then, without knowing.
37:16That's angling, Paul.
37:18Do you like watching me fish?
37:19Yeah, you can learn, can't you?
37:24Yes, he's in!
37:25Do not whine, do not!
37:27Wind, Bob!
37:28I'm not winding, I'm just charging up the reel!
37:32There's my dancing, that's specialist stuff, that.
37:34Wallop!
37:36Wow, he's fresh.
37:37Look at the colours in there.
37:38Whoa!
37:40Ted's arriving in style, isn't he?
37:42Yeah, well, he's at...
37:42No, he's going to be Ted, isn't he?
37:44Of course he's going to need to.
37:47You look so heroic.
37:48Oh, look at that guy.
37:49Oh, jeez!
37:52Oh, there's a fall.
37:54Oh, there's another.
37:56What's that salmon, is it?
37:58It's not for you, Ted.
37:59Yeah, but it is!
38:00Oh, please yourselves!
38:03Cool, haven't we?
38:04We had some laughs.
38:04Haven't we had some laughs?
38:06We had some laughs.
38:07Oh, this is the moment, yeah?
38:10Go on.
38:11And the winner is...
38:15Bob Mortimer.
38:18Oh!
38:19Yes, please!
38:21Wow!
38:22It's a revelation!
38:24Oh, come on, Paul.
38:25It's well-deserved.
38:26I'm so pleased for you, Bob.
38:27And there's a trophy as well.
38:29Oh, for God's sake.
38:29It's actually a crown.
38:35Oh, that feels good.
38:36Hey, there we are.
38:37Did one of the jewels just fall off?
38:39Yeah, it did.
38:40Heavy is the head that wears a crown in your case, isn't it?
38:43The size of it.
38:44The way of the...
38:45Put your head on me.
38:46Well, there we are.
38:47There's one category down.
38:49Let's not prolong the agony.
38:50Let's crack on.
38:51I'll take this off out of respect for the award, OK?
38:53OK, thank you.
38:55Because the next award is...
38:57That's...
38:57This is a biggie.
38:58Lifetime achievement.
39:00If you've given it to yourself,
39:02I'm walking out of this restaurant.
39:03I'm never looking back.
39:04Don't walk out, Paul.
39:06I'm going to, Bob.
39:06If you've given it to yourself...
39:08Let's have a look.
39:09Oh, let's have a look at this.
39:10Let's have a look.
39:12Ted.
39:12Cute little Billy.
39:14Billy, I dropped that nine years ago, sir.
39:17You coming fishing with us, Ted?
39:19Teddy.
39:20Man, the rod!
39:21Well, this is worse than me, isn't he?
39:24Can you shift over a bit, Ted?
39:25What's he actually achieved?
39:27Well, he's had a lifetime, hasn't he?
39:29Oh, yeah, I suppose.
39:30Teddy, fetch!
39:31Go on!
39:32Nah!
39:34Is Ted a dog?
39:35He's a species all of his own, ain't you, Ted?
39:38You all right, Ted?
39:40It's like we've super-glued him there, isn't it?
39:43Look, you can move, Ted!
39:45Yeah, it's Ted, isn't it?
39:46You're not going to come sort of...
39:48Blindside and winner, are you?
39:50Well, I don't think so.
39:51I haven't only unbroke yet.
39:52Look at the state of him!
39:55And that's when he went insane.
39:58Remember, you have always got us two.
40:01That's right, Ted.
40:02Yeah.
40:02You've got us.
40:03Well, let's just confirm it, Paul.
40:05The winner is Ted!
40:07Well deserved, Ted.
40:09Well done, Ted.
40:10Absolutely.
40:10If ever there was a winner there was, then Ted's the winner there was.
40:13There was?
40:14Yeah.
40:14Teddy, you've got a crown.
40:16Wow.
40:18Let's present ourselves to the camera, Ted.
40:24Kings of the show.
40:25We are the champions.
40:27There is someone else on the show, isn't there, Ted?
40:29Yeah, I don't know.
40:30He's just sort of a shadow.
40:34Oh, don't go, Paul.
40:36You might win next year.
40:38Come on, Ted.
40:59That's one of Paul's.
41:00Leave it alone.
41:01Come on.
41:08Breakfast, Paul.
41:27I'll put a little bit of holly on yours, cheer you up.
41:29After last night.
41:31You're not bitter, are you, Paul?
41:33Forgotten all that.
41:34I'm an adult, Bob, so no, I'm not bitter.
41:36It just reflects badly on you, you know.
41:38We've got a long drive today.
41:40We're going west, west, west, west, west.
41:41Where are we going?
41:42Mousehole.
41:43But do you know what they call it, the Cornish people?
41:46It'll be Muzzle or something like that, is it?
41:47Not far off, actually.
41:48Mousel.
41:50Mousel.
41:50Mousel.
41:51But for you and me, it will forever be...
41:53Mousehole.
41:56Oh, you pet.
41:57Right, come on.
42:06If I had a deep voice, I would sing a ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-doo-boo.
42:14All day long I'd sing a ling-a-ling, if I had a very deep voice.
42:20If I had a high voice, I would yodel, yodel, yodel, yodel, yodel, yodel, yodel, yodel.
42:25We're going to pass by a place called St. Michael's Mount.
42:33You know, one of them islands off the sea.
42:36Shall we stop and give Ted a walk?
42:38I mean, I'm seizing up here, aren't you?
42:40I wouldn't mind a leg stretch, Bob.
42:51Come on, Teddy, go!
42:52Come on, let's go!
42:53Come on, Ted!
42:56Come on, Ted!
43:02Bah humbug, well that's too strong
43:04Cause it is my favourite holiday
43:06But all this year's been a busy blur
43:08Don't think I have the energy
43:10To add to my already mad rush
43:12Just cause it's tis the season
43:14The perfect gift for me
43:16Would be completions and connections
43:18Left from last year
43:20Ski shop and come
43:21There's your first little look at Mousel
43:23Oh, look!
43:24Quintessentially Cornish
43:30It wasn't designed for the car, was it, Bob?
43:32Getting on everyone's nerves
43:34We're trying to enjoy this peaceful town
43:36I know!
43:38Oh, look at those boats as well
43:39Aren't they lovely?
43:40I love a painted boat, don't you, Bob?
43:41Yeah, sweet
43:42See that light blue?
43:43That's a nice one
43:44You know in...
43:45Oh, that's a nice one
43:46Look, the black and yellow
43:50Don't like that one
43:51Taking me out on the boat, aren't you?
43:53I am
43:54Last chance to catch a fish
43:57Come on, Teddy
43:59Wow!
44:00What a morning, Oval
44:01What a morning
44:02Now, the guy we're going out with today on the boat, Neil
44:05He's got a very special relationship with Mousel
44:07He's a Mousel boy
44:08Yeah
44:09But his dad
44:10Was on the boat that went out, 1991, Penley disaster
44:15Where all the lifeboatmen were lost at sea
44:18I mean, I have heard of that, yeah
44:20And the boat they went to rescue as well went down
44:22So, proper tragedy
44:24He'll have a tale to tell then
44:25He certainly will, mate
44:33Neil!
44:34Hello, Neil
44:35Morning, gentlemen
44:36Thank you so much, Neil, for having us on board
44:39Hello, Paul
44:40I can't remember his name
44:43What's our chances today, Neil?
44:45It's fishing, guys
44:46You know that
44:47Yeah
44:48It's not called catch, it's fishing
44:49But we've got a good chance of catching a mack or two
44:50And maybe a paddock or two
44:51We'll see what we can do
44:53You've got an involvement with the Penley disaster, haven't you?
44:56Yeah, my father was lost on the Penley lifeboat
44:58And I was turned away that night
45:00I was a lifeboat man
45:01I was only 17
45:03But like everyone, every man
45:04When I was 17, I knew everything
45:06Yeah
45:07You've got to remember, I've been playing rain in boats since I was four or five year old
45:09Yeah
45:10That's all I've ever done
45:11Yeah
45:12Trevelly in the coxswain
45:13Refused to take me
45:14They refused to take two from one family
45:15So I was turned away
45:16Wow
45:17And your dad was lost?
45:18My dad was lost, yeah
45:19I mean, never forget them
45:20I'm fiercely proud of what they did that night
45:21Oh, yeah, of course
45:22The weather conditions was the worst in living memory
45:24I've never seen weather like it
45:25Wow
45:26How old was your dad, Neil?
45:27My dad was 42
45:28Ah, dear
45:29Fine
45:30Of course, all of them, they're all family, friends, all...
45:32Yeah, of course, it's such a small community and tight obviously has to be, doesn't it?
45:36It completely changed Mousel forever
45:38Mousel never recovered from that
45:39Oh
45:41Do you do anything to sort of celebrate the memory of those people?
45:44On the 19th we have the famous Christmas lights and they're dimmed and we have our own memories and all you have your own like little, you know
45:50Yeah
45:51Let's fish today in memory of your dad
45:53Yeah, we'll do that
45:54See if we can get something for it
45:55Over there, Bob, look
46:15You see that cross and I think that's a...
46:17Oh, yeah
46:18That's a memorial light to the Penley victims
46:20Oh, right
46:25What we're doing, we're trying for a pallet and we've got some silver shrimp on
46:37I've hit the bottom so I'll put that over now, sorry
46:39Yeah, come on over there
46:40Just wind up a little bit
46:42And the idea is to wind up nice and slowly to keep that lure moving all the time
46:46I keep winding all the way
46:47Yeah
46:52Couldn't have picked a better day for it
46:54Oh, we're lucky, aren't we?
46:55We're lucky, lads
46:58Ted's loving it
46:59Isn't he, mate? Loving this?
47:01He's having a good time, isn't he?
47:02I'm searching for the bottom, Paul
47:03I'm hitting the bottom there
47:04And I'm going to fish down there for a bit
47:05Yeah
47:06Yeah
47:07I'm going to fish down there for a bit
47:08Yeah
47:09I'm searching for the bottom, Paul
47:10I'm hitting the bottom there
47:11And I'm going to fish down there for a bit
47:12Yeah
47:13Yeah
47:14Yeah
47:15Yeah
47:16It will be funny Christmas this year without Grandad there
47:17Yeah, yeah
47:18It's strange
47:19You know, you hear that some older people who kind of know they're on their last legs
47:22want to get a last Christmas in and a lot of people...
47:23Well, that's exactly...
47:24Yeah
47:25Yeah
47:26I'm pretty sure that's what happened, we might...
47:27their parents, they both died...
47:28Yeah
47:29On the same date, I mean, they'd maybe not get to know in the bottom there
47:30I'm hitting the bottom there
47:31Yeah, I'm going to fish down there for a bit
47:32Yeah
47:37It will be funny Christmas this year without Grandad there
47:38Yeah, yeah
47:39I'm gonna...
47:40Bit strange
47:41Yeah, yeah
47:42You know, you hear that some older people, who kind of know they're on their last legs,
47:48when they get a last Christmas in and a lot of people...
47:50Yeah, a lot of people...
47:51Yeah
47:52I'm pretty sure that's what happened with my parents, they both died
47:55Yeah
47:56same date, I mean, years apart, but January the 5th, thanks.
48:00Yeah.
48:01I mean, I don't know how sentient my mum was about or conscious of Christmas, but it's
48:07an extraordinary coincidence that, cos that's supposed to be, isn't it, that time of year
48:15is...
48:16Yeah.
48:17And I wonder if people have just managed to hold on.
48:18Hold on after Christmas.
48:21See the familiar faces one last time.
48:23Yeah.
48:24Well, we never know, really, Bob, will we?
48:28My dear old dad always said to me, and I've always tried to live my life like it, just
48:32be nice, that's all you've got to do.
48:33Yeah.
48:34Treat people as you want to be treated, you can't go far wrong, I don't think.
48:37Yeah.
48:38True, mate.
48:39Paul treats me pretty bad.
48:41Does he?
48:42Yeah.
48:43I've seen that, yeah.
48:45He's for his own good, though, Neil.
48:48Keep him on his toes.
48:49Yeah.
48:50Come on, you're not fishing very well, sort yourself out.
48:58Come on, Bob, the people of Mousel depend on you.
49:02This could be our last chance, you know.
49:03I know.
49:04Neil wants to get to the bookies.
49:07Is there a bookies in Mousel?
49:12No.
49:13And we had three grocery shops, a shoe shop, two butchers when I grew up.
49:18There's none anymore.
49:19No shoes?
49:20They're all gone.
49:21Should we launch an appeal?
49:23Send shoes to Mousel?
49:24Yeah.
49:37Oh!
49:38Oh.
49:39He's in.
49:40That might be the bottom, actually.
49:43Come on.
49:44I don't know what it is.
49:45Shall I wind in or keep going?
49:46Maybe.
49:47Couple of mackerel here, look.
49:49Have you got mackerel?
49:50Yeah.
49:51Well done, Paul.
49:52All right, let's get that hand twisted.
49:53Look!
49:54Woo-hoo-hoo!
49:55Mackerel!
49:56Two mackerel!
49:57Look at that!
49:58Fresh as pain.
49:59Look at them.
50:00Oh, you mind your fingers.
50:01Wow!
50:02It's a very pretty fish, you know, Paul.
50:04It really is.
50:05Yeah, you grab that.
50:06Wow, look at it.
50:07Electric fish, isn't it?
50:09What a creature.
50:11Amazing.
50:12Wow!
50:13That's what we come for, and that is our first ever mackerel.
50:16First ever mackerel.
50:17Wow!
50:18Look at the sheen on it.
50:19Wow!
50:20Took us seven or eight years.
50:24It's been brilliant, Neil.
50:25It's been lovely.
50:26What a glorious day.
50:27But we've got our Christmas night to compile.
50:30Oh-ho-ho!
50:31What have you got lined up for me, Bob?
50:33You'll have to wait and see.
50:34Oh, well, alright, well.
50:35Excited.
50:36Maybe this Christmas will mean something more.
50:41Maybe this year, love will appear.
50:46Deeper than ever before.
50:51And maybe...
50:53Wind yourself down here, Paul.
50:56Halt.
50:57Halt.
50:58Because we are staying here.
51:01Lovely.
51:02Do you know what it is?
51:03No.
51:04Quaint.
51:05Quaint's a good description.
51:06Yeah, it is, isn't it?
51:07Quaint works.
51:08Come on in.
51:09Maybe this Christmas...
51:11Whoo!
51:12Whoa!
51:15Christmas is here, Bob.
51:17Oh, how lovely.
51:18That is just what I ordered.
51:20Christmas vibe.
51:21Hello, Christmas.
51:22Lovely.
51:23Ooh.
51:24You manage those stairs, old-timer?
51:25Yeah, not too bad.
51:26Oh, this is lovely.
51:27Look at this.
51:28Oh, a little living room.
51:29Nice.
51:30Twin beds.
51:31Have you brought your twins?
51:32Yeah, this is a nice one.
51:33Harbour view.
51:34Bob!
51:35Look at this, look.
51:36All the way up.
51:37Oh, yeah.
51:38Wow.
51:39I look after you.
51:40I really look after you, don't I?
51:41I do, don't you, mate?
51:42Happy Christmas.
51:43Where's my Christmas?
51:44Oh, yeah.
51:45Wow.
51:46I look after you.
51:47I really look after you, don't I?
51:48I do, don't you, mate?
51:49Happy Christmas.
51:50Where's my proof case?
51:51I'll give you a clue, Ted.
51:52It's right there.
51:53Ha, ha, ha.
51:54Here we go.
51:55It's Laurel and Hardy, isn't it?
51:56Ha, ha, ha.
51:57What's your ears, Ted?
52:01Nice.
52:02Few more of these.
52:03Come on, old-timer.
52:04Ha, ha, ha!
52:16Watch your ears, Ted.
52:25Nice. A few more of these.
52:28Come on, old-timer!
52:30Ooh! Look at this.
52:33Cool. Who have you had in?
52:35Laurence Llewellyn Bowen?
52:36No. It's amazing, look at that.
52:38Cheers for a lovely Christmas trip.
52:40Yeah. Is this cornish champagne?
52:42Mm.
52:44I've got your present, Paul.
52:46Have you? Yeah.
52:47Is that OK?
52:49I think it is, because I've got one for you.
52:51Would you like it?
52:53Do you think you deserve it? Yes, please.
52:55Yes, I do.
52:56Even after all your gloating with your crowns
52:58and your self-aggrandisation,
53:00you still think you deserve a present?
53:01If you don't want to give it to us, don't.
53:03Of course I do, Bob, because I am give, give, give.
53:06Ooh. Ooh!
53:08Go on, then.
53:11Yep.
53:13There it is.
53:14Oh, it's a clonker. It is, hasn't it?
53:16It suits me. It's gentleman-y.
53:18And if you get annoyed with me,
53:20yeah?
53:22You can just go...
53:23Like that.
53:24And if I've made a mistake in the bath,
53:26we can just quickly...
53:27You can just scoop it up.
53:29Thank you very much.
53:31I can tell this is actually rather beautiful, Bob.
53:33It is a cracker, isn't it?
53:34Walnut?
53:35Yeah.
53:36Oh!
53:37It's just there on the plate.
53:39Thank you very much.
53:41I know, it's a beauty, isn't it?
53:42That makes me so happy.
53:43I mean, it is lovely.
53:44Mm.
53:45But mine's a bad present.
53:46Happy Christmas to you.
53:47Competitive, Bob.
53:48Thank you, Bob.
53:49I wonder what this is.
53:50You like it, hope you like it.
53:51Is it a picture of Bob in a crown?
53:53It's a gunfishing calendar.
53:57It's nice.
54:00Do you see?
54:01I thought I'd make you look nice.
54:02I see.
54:03Well, I look pretty good like that, don't I?
54:05I look like Laurence Llewellyn Bowie, don't I?
54:06You do, yeah.
54:07Just relaxing in front of some books.
54:11There's a nice one of you, isn't it?
54:13Isn't that nice, you and Ted?
54:19Oh, you look quite short there, don't you?
54:21A little tiny head.
54:23Look at that.
54:27Boom!
54:28That's a bit rude boy mode, though, wasn't it?
54:32Yeah, I thought you'd like that one.
54:34I tell you what, Bob, it's not far off, is it?
54:37Well, thank you.
54:40What a treat.
54:41I should probably go and get our little meal.
54:44Go on, then.
54:45We're going to have turkey and some cake.
54:47Oh.
54:48It's a beauty, isn't it?
54:50My favourite meal of the Christmas period.
54:52Ah!
54:53Go on, slice me off some breast.
54:55Beautiful.
54:56It's nicely cooked.
54:57Oh, it is, isn't it?
54:58Look at that.
54:59Lovely, yeah.
55:00Ah, you cheeky fella.
55:01It's actually a turkey cake.
55:02It's a turkey cake.
55:03It's a turkey cake.
55:04It's a turkey cake.
55:05Oh, lovely.
55:06Isn't that sensational?
55:07I'm going in.
55:08Well done, Bob.
55:09A lovely bit of trickery there.
55:10Christmas trickery.
55:11Lovely, mate.
55:12Very good.
55:13Because you know Christmas is a time when you can be a little bit naughty.
55:15Turn for a wake.
55:16Do you want a carrot?
55:17Go on.
55:18Hold on a minute.
55:19Hold on.
55:20Wait a minute.
55:21You two tricksters.
55:22What are you doing to me?
55:23Bloody hell, that's the nicest carrot I've ever had.
55:25from the back of the week.
55:26It's a great time when you come back home, you're ready for a week.
55:27You want a carrot?
55:28Go on.
55:29Hold on a minute.
55:30Hold on.
55:31Wait a minute.
55:32Hold on.
55:33Wait a minute, you two tricksters.
55:35What are you doing to me?
55:37Bloody hell, that's the nicest carrot I've ever had.
55:40LAUGHTER
55:41Pretty by the end of our Cornish Christmas trip, Bob?
55:52It is.
55:53How are you feeling about going home?
55:55Because it's going to be your first Christmas without your granddad.
55:58It will be different and we'll all miss him.
56:01Yeah. And it will never be the same again.
56:03No. But we'll pull a cracker on his anniversary.
56:07He liked a cracker.
56:08Well, it's actually good to have very fond, positive memories of people, you know.
56:13I do with my parents.
56:15Those...my parents, your granddad, they had a long life, so...
56:19Did have a long life. Yeah.
56:21And here's a nice thing, is round our Christmas table
56:24when the boys were young and granddad was sat there,
56:28the little boys and granddad would always wear their paper hat.
56:31Right. We were all too vain and full of ourselves.
56:35Yeah. But old granddad and the kids... And the boys.
56:38That's what granddad's for, really. Granddads are for wearing paper hats.
56:41Sit there, be quiet, put the hat on, granddad.
56:43HE LAUGHS
56:45And carry them home, home, home from the sea
56:50Angel of mercy, answer our plea
56:54Can you hear that?
56:55I can, yeah. Yeah.
56:57Still singing?
56:58Yeah, well, yeah. Come with me to the window.
57:02Ooh.
57:03For a final Christmas spectacular.
57:05Come on, mate.
57:07Joy, joy, joy, joy, joy
57:16Joy to the world
57:19Male voice choir
57:22Let earth receive a kiss
57:26Oh, I love a male voice choir.
57:28I know you do. I know you do.
57:30God prepare him room
57:34Joy to the world
57:36The Saviour reigns
57:39Let all their songs enloe
57:44Happy Christmas, Paul.
57:45Merry Christmas, Paul, mate.
57:46Merry Christmas.
57:47Thanks, mate. What an amazing treat.
57:49Joy! Joy! Joy! Joy!
58:00Thank you! And Merry Christmas to you all!
58:04Thank you very much. And the way!
58:06Cheers and go on! Cheers and go on!
58:19Daylight, I better want to close. And all our cards for Christmas are written to us both.
58:30Come on, who's got the most?
58:35Said we'd be close. Said we'd work perfectly. Said that we'd do beautiful company.
58:48Closer than a sister to her baby brother. Closer than a cat to the child that she'll smother.
58:59It's too close for a lover. It's too close for a lover. We are each other.
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