- 19 minutes ago
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00:00I'll put you in the jalousy, don't gotta hurry in the middle, love
00:08Let you out on me, don't gotta worry when tomorrow comes
00:15I'll put you in the jalousy, don't gotta hurry, no
00:22Yes, we say you're in control, in the middle, love
00:26I'll put you in the jalousy, don't gotta hurry, no
00:56Where you out on me, don't gotta worry when tomorrow comes
01:02I'll put you in the jalousy, don't gotta hurry, no
01:09Yes, we say you're in control, in the middle, love
01:13We say we're in the jalousy, don't gotta hurry, no
01:20You think this was my idea?
01:34No, there's nothing I can do
01:36No, don't shoot the messenger, man
01:38I just told you, there's nothing we can do, it's done
01:42You were serious about that tracksuit, eh?
01:46Stop yelling, bro
01:47Shut the fuck up, Sanguinette
01:50Is that Sanguinette?
01:53No, on Solo
01:54Where is he?
01:55The Millennium Falcon
01:56What?
01:57At home
01:58Why is Sanguinette at home?
02:00He's not coming
02:01Zeke smells like a chicken coop, but he'll get used to it just like everybody else
02:04Fuck you, Shorzy
02:05Don't worry, Zeke, new smells just mean you're becoming a woman
02:07Fuck you, Shorzy
02:08Why isn't Sanguinette here?
02:10Because the no-show folded
02:11Huh?
02:17The no-show folded
02:18The entire league folded?
02:20There were only five teams, we've been hanging on by a thread for a while
02:23Can't hear away from a full-on collapse
02:24The Sioux Hunt folded
02:27They're the only ones that didn't, leaving them and us
02:29What about Timmins?
02:30Not enough players
02:30In North Bay?
02:31Not enough ice
02:32And the other Sioux?
02:33Bankrupt
02:33And there's nothing you can do?
02:35You would have done it
02:36I'm sorry, Shorzy, I tried
02:39Look, there was a lot of build-up to get you to coach
02:43We can figure something out
02:45Don't be a liar
02:45The transition of life after hockey is tough
02:47We'll continue to be here
02:48Don't be a pussy
02:49Then stop standing there like you had a miscarriage, bitch
02:51Could you not fuckin' beat it today?
02:53Oh, buck up and go get your dick sucked
02:55Just get some fuckin' crumbled-up treats and a baggie in your desk
02:58No one's more disappointed than I am, Shorzy
03:00I grew up in this league, I'm devastated it's gone
03:03It's not that
03:04Senior hockey's not dead, far from it
03:06It's not that either
03:07Then what is it, slut?
03:08You pooped yourself?
03:09He's probably sad he won't get to wear that tracksuit again
03:11Oh my god, he is
03:15It's iconic
03:15What?
03:16This blue, it's iconic
03:17It's a Care Bear color
03:19Don't you think I look like a celebrity?
03:20You don't look like a celebrity
03:21Huh?
03:22He looks like gay-run DMC
03:23Well, not like a celebrity, but like a personality
03:26You look like a fuckin' popsicle
03:27Bro, more baby blue?
03:28I think this is more of a Robin's egg blue
03:31It's a hibiscus blue
03:32It's an Easter color
03:33You're a fashion guy now, eh?
03:34I read in Men's Health that your clothes are supposed to make you feel good
03:37So?
03:38So I never thought of that before
03:39Ten seconds out of hockey and he's Coco Chanel
03:41He's Lady Gaga
03:42He's Zendaya
03:43Hey, Nick Archambault
03:49The no-show's folding?
03:50Yeah, you're gonna say sorry to hear?
03:52Come to Toronto
03:53No, then, eh?
03:54Toronto
03:54Now
03:55Why?
03:57We're gonna make you an offer you can't refuse
03:58Have a go?
03:59New panel, new personalities
04:00Refused
04:01Stay with us
04:02Hey, Shorzi
04:03Good to see you again
04:04Hey, Mike
04:05You tried that Malaysian spot I was telling you about?
04:07Yeah, the satay was unreal
04:09Hey, try the beef rendang
04:10One topic
04:11One-time thing
04:12Where the game was, where the game is, where the game's going
04:14That's three topics, all boring
04:16Welcome back, Shorzi
04:17Hey, Erin, you still got your kid and dance?
04:20She's the worst one there
04:21I told you, put her in hockey
04:22You paying for it?
04:24Your old teammates have missed you
04:25How do you remember everyone's name?
04:27I'm so bad at it
04:28Here's the trick
04:29Get good at it
04:29That's the ticket, eh?
04:30It's how you build a winning culture
04:32Mike, what is that shirt?
04:34Birthday present from my girlfriend
04:35Put it in the garbage
04:36Fuck you, Shorzi
04:37Come on, Shorzi
04:39It's clear you had some fun around here
04:40One more, for old times' sake
04:42Well, then make me an offer I actually can't refuse
04:44Gretzky
04:47Wayne Gretzky
04:52Wayne Gretzky
04:59Are we just saying words
05:00Or am I going to get some actual information?
05:01You're going on TV here today with Wayne Gretzky
05:04Are you going to sneeze?
05:08I think a buck flew in his mouth
05:10Just give me a second
05:10Are you crying?
05:12Just give me a second
05:13Is he crying?
05:14Are you crying?
05:16He's crying
05:17Can I go sit in someone's car for a minute?
05:19Why are you crying?
05:20My whole life just flashed before my eyes
05:22It's emotional
05:23What are you talking about?
05:24Just all those years I was sure I was going to be a fucking loser
05:26You're not out of the weeds yet
05:27I wish I could go back and tell that kid he's going on TV with Wayne Gretzky
05:31The great one himself
05:32I wish I could go back and tell that kid everything's going to be all right
05:3499 arrives in one hour
05:36Oh fuck
05:37Just give me a fucking Kleenex
05:39Use your tampon
05:40Oh shut the fuck up Mike you tit fucker
05:43Dad
05:45Hey how are you now?
05:46What are you doing?
05:46I'm at a
05:47Actually it doesn't matter
05:48I'm going on TV with Wayne Gretzky
05:50What?
05:52Yeah I'm going on TV with Wayne Gretzky
05:54What are you talking about?
05:56Where are you?
05:56I'm in Toronto
05:57I'm at Bro Dude
05:58And Wayne Gretzky is on his way here
06:00We're going on TV
06:01Together?
06:01Yes just the greatest hockey player of this generation or any other and me
06:05Sure is he
06:06I know
06:06Sure is he in all these years you were pretty sure you were going to be a fucking loser
06:11I know
06:11Ah boy
06:13It's crazy
06:13I love you now
06:14It's crazy
06:15I'm so proud of you
06:16Does your brother know?
06:18No I'm going to call him next
06:19You better call him
06:20Yeah I'm going to give him a call
06:21Well give him a call
06:22Well dad I got to get ready for the fucking great one
06:24Give him a call then call me back
06:26Yeah I'll give you a call
06:27Love you
06:27Ah fuck
06:28Yep love you bye
06:28Yo
06:34Hey mole
06:35What's up I'm working
06:37Remember all those years you were pretty sure I was going to be a fucking loser
06:40A loser?
06:41A dead yeah
06:42What are you doing right now?
06:44Baking some 10 bits and I'm on the drive through window till end of shift
06:46Why?
06:47I'm about to go on TV with Wayne Gretzky
06:49What?
06:50Yeah who's the loser now bitch?
06:53Are you kidding?
06:54Don't shoot the messenger
06:55Do you know how many times I've said that today?
06:57I'm sorry Nat
06:57Ice is harder and harder to come by
06:59We've got too many players
07:01Too many teams
07:01Kids and sports stay off the streets
07:03If the bulldogs are folding
07:04We have to give your weekly ice times to someone else
07:07What a pun to the cunt
07:08And once the ice is gone
07:09It's going to be really hard to get back
07:11Just like that
07:11There's no grace period?
07:13To what?
07:13To get our shit together
07:14The body's still fucking warm woman
07:15See
07:16What?
07:17This is our barn
07:18Our banners in the rafters
07:19Our name on the marquee
07:20Bulldog hockey baby
07:21Don't shoot the messenger
07:22We can take the dog out of the fight
07:23We just won the country here
07:25How long do we have?
07:28I'm worried the dog will bite
07:29I'm sorry
07:30I'm just
07:30A bit pent up
07:32Needs to get laid
07:33How long?
07:36The basketball team needs the bulldog's dressing room ASAP
07:38What?
07:39Calm down
07:40The basketball team also needs this office
07:42What?
07:44Want to talk about that slippery church league
07:45That got banned from their rink?
07:47Those guys play like psychos
07:48Anique
07:49Don't smile like that
07:57I can't help it
07:58You'll freak him out
07:58I can't help it
07:59I know
08:00I'm excited too
08:01Say something so I can check your levels
08:03I was sure I was going to be a fucking loser
08:05Me too
08:05You're good
08:06Thanks Erin
08:07Your one eyelid droops a little bit though eh?
08:08I don't fucking care
08:09I'm going on TV with Wayne
08:10Gretzky
08:11What?
08:14Wayne Gretzky
08:15Are we just saying words again
08:17Or am I going to get some actual info?
08:19He's not coming
08:19He cancelled
08:22For what?
08:25Because he's a fucking asshole
08:26Em
08:27No
08:28He's a fucking asshole
08:29He said he'd be here
08:30He said he'd do this
08:31So where is he?
08:32Not here, not doing this
08:33I told my bosses
08:34I got Wayne Gretzky
08:36I told my husband
08:36I told my friends
08:37It's the first time
08:38My kids have thought I was cool
08:40Ever
08:41It's not his fault
08:42Aren't you angry?
08:44Disappointed?
08:45We brought you in
08:46All the way from Sudbury
08:47Told you
08:48You were going on TV
08:49With your hero
08:49Now it's off
08:50None of it's happening
08:51I think that warrants
08:52A little bit of irritability
08:53What do you think?
09:00I think
09:01Gretzky to Lemieux
09:05For the win
09:05Sorry
09:08I think
09:0950 goals
09:10In 39 games
09:11163 assists
09:13In a single season
09:14Are we just saying words
09:15Or am I going to get
09:16Some real information here?
09:17I think Wayne Gretzky
09:18Even planning on
09:19Coming here today
09:20Is still the greatest thing
09:21That's ever happened to me
09:22You're fucking with me, right?
09:24Like the guy's been
09:25Carrying the sport of hockey
09:26On his back
09:27For 50 years
09:28Give him a break
09:28He's fucking with me
09:29You've got to think
09:30A sports icon
09:31Global celebrity
09:32And hockey god
09:33Is a pretty full card
09:34He's not fucking with you
09:35Wayne Gretzky
09:36Has been a superstar
09:37Since he was 10
09:38Scored 400 goals
09:40As a grade schooler
09:41And became a media sensation
09:42Look what other child stars
09:44Are doing right now
09:45Lucky he doesn't have
09:46A needle in his arm
09:46Yeah, being called
09:47The great one
09:48Since fourth grade
09:48Might have produced
09:49A slightly different reality
09:50For him than our own
09:51Now what's he been doing instead?
09:53Serving up legendary moments
09:54For our country
09:55On a regular basis
09:56While remaining quiet
09:57Humble and thankful
09:59The most Canadian things
10:00Four Canada Cups
10:02A World Cup
10:03An Olympic hockey gold
10:04He's an executive
10:05For the gold medal
10:05Not a player
10:06Not to mention
10:07Four Stanley Cups
10:08And a Canadian city
10:09I haven't seen one of those
10:10Up here in a few decades
10:11Have we?
10:11See a playoff game
10:12In Edmonton
10:13Before you die
10:13Trust me
10:14That's a city
10:15With an identity
10:16The city of champions
10:17Because of 99
10:18Honorable mention
10:19To Messier
10:19Copy
10:20Mike
10:21Oh my god
10:22Shut the fuck up, Mike
10:24Are you done, Shorzy?
10:25Not even close
10:25Sports bring this country together
10:28Think about all the times
10:30We packed the bars
10:31And then packed the streets
10:32Because Gretzky had a goal
10:33And three assists
10:34Gretzky to Lemieux
10:35Gretzky to Messier
10:36Gretzky with the hat trick
10:38Gretzky does it again
10:39Yeah, we're standing here
10:40With our dicks in our hand
10:41Because this guy doesn't show up
10:42And you're not even
10:43A little bit pissed off
10:44Why?
10:45Because the hockey world
10:46Looks out for each other
10:47You think we're just saying it?
10:55What do you want to do
10:56With the segment?
10:58Shorzy's got all the answers
10:59I've never been more ready
11:01In my life
11:01Oh, come on
11:03They just found out
11:03The league is folding
11:04And that they won't be
11:05Playing hockey this year
11:06Thank god the strip club's opening
11:07And now you want us
11:08To tell them to go
11:08Get their shit out too?
11:09Why prolong it?
11:10All on a Sudbury
11:11Saturday night
11:12Not that's cunty
11:13Even by my standards
11:14I'll do it
11:15We got you
11:15I need a drink
11:17She needs a dink
11:18I said drink
11:19Although
11:21She'll figure something out
11:26Always does
11:27Go easy on her in the meantime
11:28I'm sorry
11:29This is her fucking wheelbarrow right now
11:32Really?
11:33You think NHL Twitter accounts
11:34Are the biggest problem
11:35With today's game?
11:36You asked for an example
11:37So I gave you one
11:37Well in fairness
11:38Twitter may be the biggest problem
11:40With the world today
11:40And I didn't say it was
11:41The biggest problem
11:42I just said it was annoying
11:43Okay
11:44But what's the biggest problem?
11:45And don't say they're
11:46Cracked down on fighting
11:47Cracked down on fighting
11:48That's old news
11:49It's a crack down on hitting
11:50On hitting?
11:51Yeah next you won't be able
11:51To take slap shots
11:53You heard it here first
11:54And a big big problem
11:55Is diving
11:57How are they cracking down
11:58On hitting?
11:58Well look at junior hockey
12:00In Canada today
12:01Actually look at the
12:01World Junior tournament
12:02Every hit is a penalty now
12:04It's a new strategy
12:05To get hitting out of the game
12:06Who's they?
12:07If you hit you take a penalty
12:08If you take a penalty
12:09You hurt your team
12:10You don't want to hurt your team
12:11So you don't hit
12:12Got us playing the European game now
12:14Careful
12:15No no no no
12:16There's lots of tough euros
12:18There's lots of euros that hit
12:20Chara
12:20It's just the European game
12:22Was always about speed and finesse
12:24The North American game
12:25Was about size and grit
12:27Traditionally sure
12:28Like a massive part of the success
12:29Of Canada and US hockey
12:31And the international stage
12:32Has been the hitting
12:33The physicality
12:34The guarantee that if you play us
12:36We will hurt you
12:37Okay take it easy
12:38With the new rule changes
12:39And the crackdown on hitting
12:41They got us playing
12:41The European game now
12:43And how do we stack up
12:44Against the Europeans
12:45At the European game?
12:46Well surprise surprise
12:47They're better at it than we are
12:49But what do you expect?
12:50They took away our tools
12:51I see
12:51Keith Primo
12:52Keith Kachuk
12:53Billy Guerin
12:54Brendan Shanahan
12:56Darian Hatcher
12:57Scott Steven
12:57Yes Captain Crunch
12:59These guys are world class
13:00Hockey players
13:01And these guys will
13:01Fuck you up
13:02Eric Lendros
13:03The new rules cut the nuts
13:05Off players like that now
13:06And that's the biggest problem
13:08With hockey today
13:09The North American game
13:12Is dying
13:13Anyone doing a dump run
13:16This weekend?
13:17Why?
13:18Throw Mike's shirt in there
13:19Fuck you Shorzy
13:20Shorzy
13:21Shorzy
13:25I'm glad I caught you
13:26Before you left
13:27Better say something
13:29Hey
13:31I'm so sorry
13:32I had some family stuff
13:34Come up
13:34We had our seventh grandchild
13:35I really had planned
13:37On coming up there
13:38I hope that's alright
13:39Sir you could
13:41Close an elevator door
13:42Repeatedly on my nuts
13:44And it'd be alright
13:45Honestly
13:45I was really looking forward
13:47To working with you
13:48Me?
13:49You're not going to believe this
13:50But my sons and I
13:51We watched the Burberry Bulldogs
13:52In the National Senior Tournament
13:54You watched the Bulldogs?
13:56It was really good
13:57Competitive hockey
13:57I really enjoyed the game
13:59You guys are going to
14:01Give me something
14:01To watch again this year
14:02Right?
14:05You bet
14:05Hey I heard what you said
14:07About the needle in the arm?
14:09Because I was just
14:10About the death
14:11Of the North American game
14:13Sure the style of play
14:14Might be going
14:15But that style of player
14:16Ain't going anywhere
14:17You know some guys
14:18You put a hockey stick
14:19In their hand
14:19And they become
14:20A completely different person
14:22They can't help it
14:22They're just born that way
14:24The Canadian game
14:25Is not dead
14:26Oh and Janet
14:28Wanted me to tell you
14:29If you want a future
14:30In television
14:30You should think
14:32About a trip to Turkey
14:33I will
14:34See you later
14:35And good luck
14:36Shall I get you booked
14:43On Turkish Air?
14:45See if they can do
14:45Something about your face too
14:47Mike
14:47Shut the fuck up
14:49Don't leave me this way
15:12I can't survive
15:16I can't stay alive
15:19Without your love
15:22Oh baby
15:23Don't leave me this way
15:27I can't exist
15:30I'll surely miss
15:33Your tender kiss
15:36Don't leave me this way
15:39Baby
15:42My heart is full of love
15:45And desire for you
15:47Now come on down
15:48And do what you gotta do
15:50You started this fire
15:53Down in my soul
15:55Now can't you see
15:56It's burning
15:57Out of control
15:59Come on
16:00Satisfy
16:01The need in me
16:03Cause only your good loving
16:05Can set me free
16:07Guys
16:12This is my friend Lloyd
16:13What's up buddy
16:14What's going on?
16:15He plays for the Sudbury 5
16:16Who?
16:17Basketball team
16:18Just wanted to say
16:19I'm sorry to hear
16:20About you guys folding
16:20We didn't fold
16:21You look devastated
16:22Pardon?
16:23Nothing
16:23And thanks for giving us
16:24Your room
16:25We'll take good care of it
16:26We didn't give it to you
16:26I'm sorry
16:27It's loud in here
16:28Can you say that again?
16:29I said we didn't give it to you
16:30But
16:30Didn't you say bye?
16:32Making fun of you Hitch
16:33Vinyl
16:33You talk like an idiot
16:35How's what I tell expect?
16:36We usually just make fun of you
16:37Behind your back
16:38But Big Nuts here
16:39Bringing it right to your door
16:40Again thank you
16:41And sorry
16:42That Canadian contest
16:43You win
16:43Where can I learn to talk
16:45As good as what you does?
16:46Settle down
16:46Doesn't matter how you talk
16:48You're still gonna look like an idiot
16:49Who's team you on old man?
16:51No team
16:51We don't have a team
16:52That's why Big Nuts and his boys here
16:54Get our room
16:55Have a good night man
16:56Hey how big are your feet?
16:58What?
16:58How big are they?
16:59Shut up Jersey
17:00They'll never fill our shoes
17:01No
17:02Let's go
17:02You wouldn't take our room
17:04If we weren't playing?
17:04Yes sir
17:05We take what we want
17:06If it was your room
17:07I'd walk up and ask
17:08Wouldn't you show up to the bar
17:09Saying thanks
17:10Sorry
17:10No respect
17:11Desk earned
17:12What have you won?
17:14And hey
17:15I left some championship pedigree
17:16For you in the toilet far right
17:18Yeah whatever bro
17:19Outstanding North American run
17:24By this team of European all stars
17:26Known as simply
17:27The EU
17:29They're undefeated through seven contests
17:32Against NHL farm teams no less
17:34With one game remaining against Edmonton
17:36I mean I'm just gonna come right out and say it
17:38These guys are beating the crap out of every
17:42Good
17:50Got the right house
17:52What's your name
17:53Sean
17:54He said come on
17:56Where's he go
17:56You can go in alone
17:58But time can tell
17:59Broke me
17:59You will never be free
18:01I'm going to
18:02You'll never be free
18:02I'm going to
18:03You'll never be free
18:03Don't tell me I'm wrong
18:18Cause I've been watching every move that you make
18:25Hearts you steal
18:29When you make up in heels
18:32Trouble for the man that you take
18:36Every time you walk in the room
18:42What are you doing over here by yourself?
18:43Huh?
18:43You feel like you're over here by yourself
18:45Like
18:45You're not
18:46Yes you are
18:47You're over here
18:47Wait for everybody else
18:48Oh shut the fuck up you idiot
18:49What's your problem?
18:51What?
18:51What?
18:52You
18:52Oh I know that look
18:54What look?
18:55I'm looking to scissor
18:56I do know that look
18:57Yep you're looking to scissor
18:58This is our barstool right now
19:00Oh it's crazy
19:01What are you gonna do?
19:11I just told you it's our fucking malt tree right now
19:13No
19:13Like without hockey
19:16I don't know
19:19I don't know
19:20No way
19:24Oh if this is it
19:32You better dance
19:33No
19:34Yep you better dance
19:35You're gonna ruin my odds with one of these bras
19:37Oh your face is gonna do that
19:39Come on we're dancing let's go
19:41No we're not dancing
19:42Come on we're gonna dance get up
19:44My crotch goes nowhere near your crotch
19:45Well then fucking jump on my back
19:47No
19:48Come on get your fucking gear down
19:49Get on my back
19:50Oh it's great
19:52Hey hey
19:56analysis on the EU all-star team's reign of terror against pro North American squads will bring in
20:17TSN's director of scouting Craig Button, but first we take you to this juicy post-game statement
20:22from EU coach Tempo Maki.
20:26We are all aware of the narrative here surrounding European hockey players, too soft, no grit, too pretty, maybe at one point, sure.
20:35But North American players are not at the level they once were. Our record here proves that players here are overvalued.
20:44Those are strong words, Pepo. That's what you're going with? Overvalued?
20:49Overrated.
20:51We're now joined by Craig Button. Craig, what do we even say about this?
20:56Thank God it's almost over. Thank God it's almost over.
20:59Heyo, this is so. Jay, there's a brand of hockey we used to play over here that's gone by the wayside for one reason or another.
21:05The Dion Phaneufs and the Jordan Tutus used to give you two options. Run your head through the end boards or take it off in the middle of the open ice.
21:12Yes, very true. For whatever reason, that brand of hockey has fallen by the wayside.
21:17What do you have, Buzz? Well, guess what? This team of European all-stars picked it up again. And frankly, they're playing it better than we ever played it over here. I really can't believe what I'm watching. I mean, the average height of this team is six foot five. You're six foot five. Yes, six foot five. That is the average height of this team.
21:23They're unstoppable. Unbeaten through seven games with one to go. This was nothing short of embarrassing. There's been no answer to the EU's physicality. No response to this bullying. This was just a real drubbing if I've ever seen it.
21:30That's a great word, drubbing. It's appropriate. Okay, let's play a quick game. Words I'd use to describe the EU's North American swing against Canada and the U.S.'s finest players not in the NHL.
21:37A thumping!
21:38A thumping!
21:39A thumping!
21:40A thumping!
21:41A thumping!
21:42A thumping!
21:43A thumping!
21:44A thumping!
21:45A scharee!
21:46A nearly as baddruck!
21:47I can't go on any further without surfing all kinds of perfection!
21:48I'll remind you, This is a family friendly program
22:14program people all joking aside this eu team is too big they're too fast they're unbeatable
22:21unbeatable verified validated confirmed
22:44so
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