- 4 weeks ago
Florence township's barber and self-taught physician refuses to kill for the hand of his fiancée, but her other two suitors have no such qualms.
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00:00I assure you, Mr. Sunderland, you'll get what you're paying for.
00:17And you, Mr. Clay, you'll get what you're asking for.
00:21Whenever you're ready.
00:30You'll get what you're asking for.
01:00Why for you, Mr. Paladin?
01:07Hey, boy, I didn't know you read the hotel guest's mail.
01:10Oh, not always, only sometimes when envelope is open.
01:14Your mail easily the best in the whole hotel.
01:18Thank you very much, hey, boy.
01:20Your presence required in Florence, California, enclosed money order, $82.17, no signature.
01:29That's not even enough money for your newspaper for one year.
01:34It certainly is an odd amount.
01:36Hey, boy, hold my mail for the next few days, will you, after you've finished reading it.
01:41Oh, uh, you going?
01:42I am.
01:43minus $80.17?
01:44Eighty-two dollars and 17 cents.
01:52Yeah, business must be very bad.
01:54Thank you very much.
02:24Shave, mister? Want to clean up a bit?
02:42Shave's 15 cents. Haircut's the same. Both for two bits.
02:46Clean-up's free.
02:47All right. I'll take a shave.
02:57Right over here.
03:18You, uh, come a distance?
03:26That's right. People in this town like gunfighting in the street?
03:29Oh, no, no. Those two have been growling at each other all week.
03:32They start shooting this morning.
03:34Fix themselves up some cover quick, as you can see,
03:36and then settle down to see what makes the first mistake.
03:39Then why doesn't somebody try to stop it?
03:41That's Jeff Sunderland and Max Clay out there, mister.
03:43They're ugly men, and they don't want it stopped.
03:46Not so.
03:49What's their quarrel?
03:51Bell Hooper. They both want to marry her.
03:54Well, I guess Charles Irwin would approve.
03:57You want to marry Bell, too?
03:58No.
03:59He's a scientist with a theory about the survival of the fittest.
04:03Bell put them up to it?
04:04Well, she don't want to marry the one of them.
04:07She's got another fella.
04:13Is that so?
04:16What's your name?
04:17Ernie Teller.
04:19Ernie?
04:20Where'd you get that card?
04:23Oh, uh, this woman came in a while back.
04:25I think she must have been an actress or something.
04:28She had the nicest hair I ever did cut.
04:30Kind of red gold.
04:31Well, anyways, when she reached in her purse to pay me,
04:34the, uh, card slipped out.
04:37Funny, she sure wasn't mad about something.
04:39She stamped on it when she left.
04:43Red gold, huh?
04:44That's right.
04:47Ernie, $82.17.
04:50Does that amount of money have any meaning to you?
04:52I reckon you might be the woman I saw you right in.
05:04That'd be me that sent that wire.
05:07$82 is all I had.
05:09I was hoping you'd get here before it came to guns and headed off.
05:14I, uh, suppose you wonder why.
05:17I think I know why.
05:18That third man, the one that Bell wants to marry,
05:21that'll be you.
05:23That's right.
05:30Careful near the mustache, huh?
05:35Well, you got a nice touch.
05:37There ain't much I do well, but barbering's my trade.
05:40Of course, I do a little vetting, some doctoring, too.
05:43Forty miles to her real, Doc.
05:44And, yeah, I kind of like to fix folks up.
05:47Which is just patchwork.
05:48I don't know much yet.
05:49Seems to me if this Bell of yours is the right sort of girl,
05:53she'd marry you now and help you while you study medicine.
05:56Well, yes, she would have.
05:59She wants something you won't give her?
06:01Like a gunfight?
06:04I just can't shoot anyone, Mr. Palin.
06:06I've seen a lot of bullet holes.
06:08Little and angry going in,
06:10and real big and ripped coming out.
06:13I hear a shot,
06:15and I see a hole through someone.
06:18Well, Ernie, that's very touching.
06:20Of course, you wouldn't mind
06:21if I made a few of those holes for you.
06:23Oh, I don't really want that, neither.
06:25Somebody's got to do something to stop those two.
06:28I think I'm just scared of getting my head blown in.
06:30Well, you don't need a head if you're not going to use it.
06:33Huh?
06:34If I gunned down Jeff and Max,
06:36Bell's probably going to want you to fight me for her.
06:38Well, you wouldn't do that, would you, Mr. Palin?
06:41Wouldn't do what, Ernie?
06:42Bell, you got no business out in the street
06:44with that gunfight going on?
06:45Wouldn't do what, Ernie?
06:46Nothing.
06:47Nothing.
06:48Ernie, maybe next minute,
06:49Jeff or Max is going to come walking in that door
06:51and say,
06:52Bell, I killed a man for you, and grab me.
06:54And who's to stop him?
06:55It'll be too late then,
06:56because he'll have a right.
06:58You've got to stop that fight now.
07:00The only way to stop that fight
07:02is to start another one.
07:03I don't care just so it's stopped.
07:05You want Ernie out there in the street
07:06fighting those two men?
07:07I want Ernie doing something.
07:10The way does he fit into this, anyways?
07:12My name is Paladin,
07:14and you could say
07:15I'm one of those innocent bystanders
07:17who might get winged,
07:18so I'll even the odds up a little bit.
07:21Ernie and I will take on Jeff and Max.
07:23All right, Ernie?
07:29All right.
07:29Jeff, what are you doing shaving
07:41in the middle of this gunfight?
07:43Well, I figure tonight's going to be my wedding night.
07:46Well, I have been hacking myself to pieces.
07:48Would you give me a hand, Ernie?
07:50Sure.
07:51Uh, you best have some legitimate reason
07:58for interrupting me during a fight, sir.
08:00Best reason in the world.
08:01There's no point to the fight.
08:03It should be stopped.
08:04It's not your affair.
08:05You better get out of this
08:06before you get shot accidentally.
08:08You're up against the wrong man, you know.
08:10Your pardon?
08:12It's Ernie here that Bell wants to marry.
08:14Wrong man?
08:15You're trifling
08:16with the wrong man, sir.
08:17tell him Ernie it's so now that's remarkably bad taste on Bell's part
08:25still Ernie here can wait till I'm done with Max you're wrong the way I see it
08:31it's you and Max shooting it out Montana style against Ernie and me you're
08:35beginning to annoy me sir well that helps before you use this gun I'd like to
08:42remind you about that razor that's scraping your throat you are sorely
08:49tempting me to shoot you flush and no nonsense about a dude well I'll try the
08:56sporting man in you I'll be very happy to make a $1,000 side bet with you if it's
09:04Montana style done and done I'd admire killing you at a profit just who is it
09:10I'll be killing my name is paladin Ernie
09:17what do I owe you for the shave Ernie on the house
09:23you're a mealy-mouthed liar any word out of you is gonna be your last I repeat
09:37Bell wants to marry Ernie not you or Jeff I'm busy now Jeff Sunderland drew the
09:43first blood I'm gonna drain all of his and Bella be my woman plenty here wants to
09:49do anything about it is welcome now get going the both of you doesn't make any
09:55difference to you that Bell wants Ernie not you who cares what any woman wants told
10:01you to get going I fight one fight at a time
10:04no Montana duel no there's no way I can convince you listen you I've killed
10:12plenty of men for causing me less trouble than you now get going down that street
10:16and pray you don't get a bullet in the back of your head
10:19you don't get a bullet in the back of your head you don't get a bullet in the back of your head
10:26now Max you were saying we'll finish this with guns mister
10:32well that's very clever of you Max to suggest the Montana duel of course
10:38yeah you talk better than I do shall you talk with a mouthful of blood
10:51Max
10:55Jeff
11:03now Ernie and I will take your wagon Max
11:06oh no I don't believe you will if you don't mind sir
11:09well very well you gentlemen take that barricade now you know Montana rules
11:13one rifle two bullets to each man everyone breaks from cover at the signal
11:16and who gives the signal
11:19the one appropriate choice
11:23no please mr. Paladin
11:25me thinks the lady does protest too much she agreeable to you
11:28she's fine sir
11:29Max
11:30sure
11:31Ernie
11:32all right
11:34we'll meet back here in 10 minutes that should give you gentlemen time to plan whatever strategy you care to
11:38let's go get a drink man
11:43well you should find this very amusing
11:45I wonder who it'll be that gets killed
11:47of course it'll probably make you feel much more like a woman
11:51having four men shoot it out over you in the street excuse me
12:06why don't you let him have Max's wagon it's the best cover
12:10I wanted him to have it the sun will be in their eyes
12:13you have a rifle
12:15you have a fire this
12:28no
12:29I ain't gonna either
12:30there's a lot of people out there gonna be more
12:32I might hit one of them
12:34but the only thing I'm sure not gonna hit is what I'm aiming at
12:39that uh... fellow who thought up that uh... survival of the fittest
12:45Darwin
12:46yeah yeah that's him
12:47he wouldn't think shucks of me would he
12:49I'm just not very fit not here
12:53don't know how to kill people
12:55don't want to neither
12:56that's no likely way to survive
12:58not around here
13:00just don't seem fair though that surviving has to mean killing somebody else
13:04I just think gonna try it
13:18Ernie your reasoning's fair enough
13:19but when a man comes after you with a gun
13:23reason becomes merely words
13:25survival means action
13:27somebody out here's gotta start settling things without guns
13:30somebody just has to be the first one
13:31out here with a survival problem someday this country won't be so hard people like
13:37you will still be here and the killers will be dead but for now you put two
13:45bullets in that I'll be right back
14:01your horse and my rifle mind if I borrow it I'll pay for the bullets and drinks later
14:28well I've seen Jeff and Max use their rifles could you buy me the drink before
14:33the fight all right let's do it that way I haven't time to change my will to include
14:37a liquor request what do you allow for the sights about four inches to the right
14:43every hundred yards hey Charlie get out of the way you want to get shot it also
14:54drops about two inches all right I'll buy you that drink now well there's no real
15:08hurry all the drink mister we're scared my name is Hank let's keep you gentlemen planned your fight
15:35you'll find that out soon enough to your discomfort I trust well that's a very apt
15:41toast to the discomfort of our enemies
15:44I suppose you two are determined to go through with this Montana shootout now
15:56listen to him crawling around after all you've done to start this fight are you
16:01seriously trying to call it off hello I knew that in the heat of your own battle
16:05reason could never prevail but I thought perhaps now that you've had a chance to
16:09cool out you might possibly understand the reason of letting Belle choose the man
16:13she wants to marry sorry my mistake maybe your last mistake yours and that
16:19barbers or any with a rifle it's gonna be something to see I'll tell the truth
16:25you're trying to back out now because you realize that once the shooting starts
16:30you'll be out there all by yourself you choose to misunderstand me Hank
16:34mr. Thunderland I assure you you'll get what you're paying for mr. clay you'll
16:47certainly get what you've been asking for anytime you're ready help yourself
16:51thank you mr. mr. what was it again I think I just assumed be plain mr. to you
16:59Belle what you said before could be true fight over a woman usually starts with a
17:10woman yes I did encourage Max and Jeff a little bit but some of it's Ernie's fault
17:16he's got to show some bit of spunk my wife would be entitled to some protection and
17:22and the children it can be hard just to grow to be old enough to to protect
17:26yourself out here nobody thinks Ernie can do it he agreed to fight because you
17:32came you're awfully good with a gun I saw that now it's Ernie needs protecting maybe
17:38this is all on my head and and I ain't asking you to like me for it but don't let him get
17:43hurt well it's late for that please listen to me I want you to understand this I had a father
18:03who didn't believe in violence he'd never fight he turned the other cheek we ran from town to town
18:10as soon as the people saw the way he was the bullies would be honest they roughed him and they
18:16laughed at him they made free with all of us maybe my Paul is in the right that didn't make it hurt
18:23it left no mister not for my kids here use that to signal it well maybe this will turn out all right Ernie
18:53which one do you want both well you won't need those Hank all right let's see them
19:23here's my thousand dollars and my
19:53let her hold the stakes I don't care to empty a dead man's pocket please call it all if I did
20:00anything or said anything to make you think that let's go I'm not at all a drinking man right now I wish
20:16I was I guess I didn't load the gun the bullets are in the sand out there I know enough to break out of
20:26here the signal get behind that water trough keep your head down and stay there
20:31good
20:55Come on!
21:25Let's go.
21:55Drop it, Max.
21:57Drop it!
22:05Shame, Max.
22:07Shame.
22:08Can't you count?
22:10You all right?
22:11No.
22:12Gunshot.
22:13Good.
22:19Well, the stakes are yours.
22:21Let's bust up our goal, too.
22:24I'll ride you as far as the dock.
22:40Oh, Ernie.
22:42Well.
22:43Ernie, you didn't even fire that old rifle.
22:46It makes no difference if you didn't hit anything.
22:48You could have at least fired it.
22:52Oh, Ernie.
22:54You didn't even load it.
22:56You think that's funny?
23:00How many of you would have come out from behind the barricade without any ammunition and that rifle?
23:04If I were you, I'd concentrate on being a good enough wife for Ernie.
23:10Unless you don't recognize quite a man when you see one.
23:14Oh, Ernie, you're a blind fool.
23:18Sorry, Belle.
23:20That's just the way I am.
23:22I guess you'll just have to take it or leave it.
23:25Oh, Ernie, I love you.
23:27I'll bet.
23:29May I offer my best wishes and trouble you for my $2,000, please?
23:33Oh, yeah.
23:39How'd you ever come to know a man like him?
23:41Uh, well, ours was a financial relationship.
23:45How much did you pay him to come here?
23:49$82.17.
23:51Oh, Ernie, that's just about all you ever saved up.
23:53And it's much too much.
23:55Besides, you won $1,000.
23:57Well, I had the size of my fee in mind when I made the bet.
24:00See, I'll call the $82, $83, a wedding gift.
24:05Uh, I'll call the $82, $83, a wedding gift.
24:10Uh, except I'll just take out $10 from my expenses.
24:14Thanks.
24:19Well, it's just a matter of standing up to someone.
24:23You know, a doctor's the last men folks pay.
24:25And you're going to have to learn how to collect on your bill.
24:28So you see the next...
24:40As gun will travel, reap the card of a man.
24:47A knight without armor in a savage land.
24:54His fast gun for hire, he's the calling wind.
25:00A soldier of fortune is a man called Paladin.
25:11Paladin, Paladin, where do you roam?
25:17High
25:21The
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