- 4 weeks ago
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FunTranscript
00:00Look up to the ocean, look up to the stars
00:03Now all about you believe when there's things no hope
00:09You can still believe, still believe in your dreams
00:16So you know it's dreams
00:19You know it's dreams
00:23You know it's dreams
00:30After we came here it didn't take long to see that owning a castle is like trying to fill an ocean with a teacup
00:39No matter how much money you tip in, it's never enough
00:42Still, you've got to hand it to the baron
00:45Against all the odds he just keeps on hanging in there
00:48But right now the odds against him have suddenly got a lot worse
00:51He's behind in his payments to everyone in town
00:55The butcher, the grocer, even old Carl the fishmonger
00:58Now they're saying they'll stop supplying the castle until he coughs up what he owes
01:03To add to the misery
01:07We've also had the exploding coffee machine incident
01:14Sorry, minor technical glitch with our coffee maker
01:18Can I suggest tea instead?
01:20And to top it all off
01:22There was the infamous roof tile catastrophe
01:24With a man from the tax department
01:26Please do not be concerned, Rebecca
01:28It's just an administrative oversight
01:29That overdue taxpayer will be taken care of immediately
01:31If not sooner
01:33Ha ha ha ha ha
01:35Uh oh
01:37The usual stream of problems around here is becoming a tsunami
01:50There's no escaping it
01:51The baron needs a miracle
01:53I need a miracle
01:57Look on the bright side, Daddy
01:59At least they only hit his car
02:00We're lucky they didn't hit him
02:02Lucky?
02:03Lucky?
02:04There's nothing lucky about it
02:06Do you know how much it would cost to repair that car?
02:09That Schwindler von Schweinstummer
02:11He's to blame for this
02:12On who?
02:13Count Hermann von Schweinstummer
02:14Daddy's favourite person
02:15An unscrupulous thief
02:17Why he hasn't been locked away forever
02:18Is one of the great mysteries of German law enforcement
02:20I take it you don't like him much
02:23A couple of years ago he convinced Daddy that the roof needed repairing
02:26His company did a terrible job
02:28And now they won't come back and fix it
02:30You're kidding
02:31What can you expect from someone who bought his title?
02:33Sorry, you can buy a title?
02:35I thought you had to inherit it
02:37Happens all the time these days
02:38Frauds and imposters are the lot of them
02:40It's just one problem after another
02:42I honestly don't know if we can keep going
02:45Of course we can Daddy
02:46We're from Hasmbals
02:47We must keep going
02:53See what I mean?
02:54It's not looking good
02:55No matter how much Lily digs her heels in
02:57I just wish I could do something to help
03:04No way!
03:05This is too good!
03:10Stay where you are
03:11Don't move
03:12You'll never guess who's coming to town
03:13Santa Claus?
03:14Ben, shut up
03:15Are you ready?
03:16Ta-da!
03:17Johnny Brave
03:18Johnny Brave, the rock star?
03:20The same
03:20Three number one albums in the last two years
03:23Sell out concert tours wherever he goes
03:25Johnny Brave?
03:26Look, I listened to his last album
03:27And frankly it was
03:28Amazing!
03:29I loved it!
03:30Not as bad as some people said
03:31I agree with Ben
03:32I think he's overrated
03:34You guys have taste in your armpits
03:36Anyway girls
03:37Johnny's coming to our world
03:38You mean here to the castle?
03:40I wish
03:41No, apparently he's a big golf nut
03:43He's coming to play some courses in the area
03:45Imagine if he did come here
03:47It would be such a great promotion for the castle
03:49Right!
03:50Top idea Sophie
03:51I think you could really be onto something there
03:52Thank you Ben
03:53Much as I appreciate the compliment
03:54It doesn't get you off the hook for not liking Johnny Brave
03:57Ben's right though
03:59It's not a bad idea Sophie
04:00We should give it a try
04:01You really think we could get Johnny Brave to come here?
04:04Why not?
04:05Can't be that hard
04:10Good morning
04:11Allow me to introduce myself
04:13My name is Marcus Glee
04:15Hello?
04:17Hello?
04:18But it's a very fine castle with great historical significance
04:23I thought Johnny might like to
04:26Hello?
04:27If you just let me explain you'll see it's an offer too good to
04:32Thanks, nice talking to you
04:36His manager didn't want to know me
04:38Seen one castle, seen them all he said
04:40Well it was a long shot
04:42Thanks for trying though
04:43I'm not surprised Johnny doesn't want to come here
04:45Oh yeah, sorry I forgot that you spent all your time mixing with rock stars
04:49That's what we went wrong Marcus
04:50You should have asked Ben to make the call
04:51He and Johnny are like this
04:52Very good Sam
04:53That was almost funny
04:54Look you said it yourself
04:55The guy's here to play golf
04:56Not go sightseeing
04:57Golf?
04:58There could be an idea
04:59Not that I know what it is
05:00At least not yes
05:01But I've never let a small thing like it
05:02I've never let a small thing like it
05:03I'm not going to go
05:04I'm not going to go
05:05I'm not going to go
05:06I'm not going to go
05:07I'm not going to go
05:08I'm not going to go
05:09I'm not going to go
05:10I'm not going to go
05:11I'm not going to go
05:12I'm not going to go
05:13But I've never let a small thing like ignorance stop me before
05:22Hey guys guess what
05:23What?
05:24Hands up who's meeting with Johnny Brave tomorrow
05:27What are you talking about?
05:29Exactly what I said
05:30My new best friend Johnny
05:31Mr. Brave to you
05:32Will be gracing this very courtyard tomorrow
05:34What?
05:35Johnny's a total golf nut right?
05:37So I just emailed his manager
05:38And asked if he wanted to see the plans for our new 18 hole golf course
05:41Too easy
05:42That's brilliant Ben
05:43Except for one small but significant detail
05:46Meaning?
05:47Meaning we don't have plans for an 18 hole golf course
05:49I know that
05:50And you know that
05:51But Johnny doesn't
05:52And what's he going to do when he finds out?
05:54He'll probably get his security goons to trash the place
05:56Come on he's bound to have a sense of humour
05:58He'll see the joke
05:59And then we'll take a few photos to use for the castle website
06:02And then we'll all be mates
06:03And if he doesn't see the joke
06:05Hang on Sam
06:06You're right
06:07We don't have plans for a golf course yet
06:09But we could have by tomorrow
06:11Ah, smell that fresh country air
06:29You can't get any better
06:30Hey bro, how's your day going?
06:46I'm sorry
06:47Don't be sorry, it's a free country
06:49Possibly a little too free
06:51I'm afraid castle tours don't start till later
06:52You have to come back in an hour
06:53No, no, I'm here to see Ben
06:54Ben?
06:55Ah, now I see
06:56You're an Australian too
06:57Australian?
06:58Ah, your clothes and your lack of men
06:59Ah, never mind
07:00So how are you finding things here in Germany?
07:01I'm biased
07:02I'm a native, you know
07:03Really?
07:04Oh, I must say I've never picked it
07:05Mind you, you're the first one I've met
07:06Baron Philipp von Hasenburg
07:07Delighted to meet you, Mr
07:08Brave
07:09Johnny Brave
07:10Brave
07:11Brave
07:12Brave
07:13Brave
07:14Brave
07:15Brave
07:16Brave
07:17Brave
07:18Brave
07:19Brave
07:20Brave
07:21Sounds like a good warrior name
07:23Do you have a large tribe?
07:25No, just a regular group
07:27Although we did add some extra drums last month
07:30Ah, yes
07:31Yeah, the drums
07:32They must sound magnificent
07:33Thumping out across the desert, eh?
07:36Tell me, is it true that a boomerang
07:38Can hit a kangaroo from a hundred meters?
07:41To be honest, I wouldn't have a clue
07:43Ah, not to worry
07:44I understand completely
07:46Secret tribal business, eh?
07:48Yes, if you say so
07:50Johnny
07:51Thanks so much for coming
07:52Ben, right?
07:53That's me
07:54I see you've met the Baron
07:55Yes, indeed
07:56Right, I'll leave you to show your countrymen around, Ben
08:00Enjoy your visit, Mr Brave
08:02Alas, our history isn't as old as yours
08:05But I'm sure you'll find something of interest
08:07Is that guy for real?
08:11Uh, don't be worried
08:12He's a bit eccentric sometimes
08:14But, uh, he's a good man
08:15Years of inbreeding probably
08:17That happened a lot to these old families
08:19Hi Johnny
08:20It's so great you can make it
08:21I'm Sam
08:22And I'm Baroness Liliana von Hasenburg
08:23And I'm Baroness Liliana von Hasenburg
08:25Please call me Lily
08:26Nice to meet you guys
08:27Uh, when will I see the plans for the cause?
08:30Very soon
08:31We'd like to show you around a bit first
08:33The plans will make a lot more sense
08:34If you get an idea of what the place looks like
08:36Fine for me, I'm in your hands
08:38How long does Markus need for those plans?
08:42Another 20 minutes at least
08:43Do you think we can stall him for that long?
08:45We have to stall him that long
08:52And this is all part of the state?
08:54Everything you can see
08:55It would make a magnificent go of course
08:57I cannot wait to see those plans
08:59Uh, more tea
09:00Johnny?
09:01Another cake?
09:02Thank you, I'm fine guys
09:03Time for business
09:04Are the plans here or somewhere else in the castle?
09:07Actually, uh, Ben
09:09Why don't you tell Johnny?
09:11May?
09:12Uh, sure
09:13Actually, um
09:15The plans, uh
09:17Right here
09:19Hi, I'm Markus
09:21I hope you like what you're about to see
09:29You don't like them?
09:31They are much rougher than I imagined
09:33I think they can make much better use of the natural landscape but
09:38But?
09:39But
09:42They are impressive
09:43They are very impressive
09:45I think I should see your father
09:49By the castle?
09:50Your daughter's right
09:51The state is perfect for a golf course
09:53A golf course?
09:54I can turn this place into one of Europe's premier golfing destinations
09:58Think about it
09:59The home of the van Hasenburg Open
10:02I'm sorry, it's out of the question
10:04Besides, the town would never allow a golf course
10:06You can leave that to me and my lawyers
10:08I'm prepared to pay top dollar
10:10And I'm happy that you and your family can stay on in the West Wing
10:14For free
10:16Here's my offer
10:21Sink it over
10:36He wants to buy the castle?
10:38But that wasn't part of the plan
10:40What plan?
10:41Nothing
10:43Anyway, you obviously told him the castle's not for sale
10:48Daddy, you did tell him, didn't you?
10:51Rest assured, I haven't officially accepted its offer
10:54But?
10:56Ben
10:57Why don't we clean up?
10:59I think that might be a good idea
11:03But, considering the size of the offer, we may have no option
11:05You can't be serious, Daddy
11:07What about the family? They'll never agree
11:09Leave them to me
11:11I'm sorry, Lily
11:16But with all the money we owe, perhaps it's time we accepted the truth
11:20Maintaining the castle properly is getting way beyond us
11:22No!
11:24I'll never accept that
11:30This isn't my fault
11:31All I was trying to do was help
11:33That's the last time I have an idea about anything
11:36I'm sorry, Lily
11:37I just thought it'd be a bit of fun
11:39You guys can meet your favourite rocker
11:40And we can all have a laugh about it
11:42I didn't think you'd want to try and buy the joints
11:44It's alright, Ben
11:45It's not your fault
11:46See?
11:47I told you
11:48This castle's daddy's whole life
11:50Not to mention mine too
11:51You can't just toss it away
11:53No matter how much money Johnny's offering
11:55But it might be hard to change the Baron's mind
11:58Agreed
12:00So we're going to have to change Johnny's
12:02How?
12:03We went to grey paints showing Johnny the best bits of the castle
12:06Now it's time to show him the truth
12:08What truth?
12:09The truth I'm going to create
12:12But I'll need your help
12:14The bottoms of the walls have to be fully soaked, saturated
12:36What's with the raisins and the papacorns?
12:38Mix them together and spread them in small piles around the floor and in the covers
12:44If it's wood, it needs holes in it
12:57All the holes you can
12:58Lucky I have plenty of practice setting booby traps at home for Sam
13:14Do you think it'll work?
13:15Let's see
13:16Let's see
13:24Perfect
13:25You'd better clean up and reset it
13:27Johnny's going to be here soon
13:37Okay
13:38Hello Johnny, thanks for coming
13:40I got your message
13:41You said it was important
13:42You've been more than generous with what you offered daddy
13:45But I couldn't sleep at night unless I show you the truth
13:48Of what this castle is really like
13:50I'd have a guilty conscience for the rest of my life
13:53Sounds a little bit alarming
13:54It's very alarming
13:56But it's only right and proper that I make you fully aware of the real condition of this castle
14:02I'm in your hands Lily, lead on
14:04See how wet the walls are?
14:11We have rising dams throughout the castle
14:13All the plumbing needs replaced
14:15It's going to cost a fortune to fix
14:20Woodbores, termites
14:22This whole wing is full of them
14:24The entire building could collapse at any moment
14:27And if you think this is bad
14:29Wait till you see the kitchen
14:34What's your step?
14:36Rat droppings
14:37Everywhere
14:38We've tried everything we can
14:40But the entire castle is infested with them
14:45Tread very lightly
14:47The slightest vibration can cause a structural collapse
14:59Need I say more?
15:04Oh, Mr. Brave
15:09I didn't think you were coming today
15:11I'm afraid I had to point out some of the challenges
15:13And your owner would have to face
15:15Your challenges?
15:16I'm sorry I've had to disillusion you, Johnny
15:18Of course we'll understand that you'll now want to withdraw your offer
15:21Withdraw?
15:22And I assure you there'll be no hard feelings on our side
15:24Lily, please don't upset yourself on my account
15:27That's so kind of you to say so
15:29Because our little tour today has made me want to buy this building even more than before
15:32Yes, I thought you'd say
15:34What?
15:35To be honest, last night I did start having second thoughts
15:37Second thoughts?
15:38I was worried the authorities would not let me make all the renovations I need
15:41But now I've seen what a terrible state it's really in
15:44And I'm sure they'll let me do whatever I want
15:46I don't believe this
15:47I'll be back with the contracts in a day or two
15:49And then we're ready to rock!
15:51Ciao, guys
15:53I think we've got an unbelievable deal
15:58I think I want to be sick
16:00I think I want to be sick
16:19Baron?
16:20Ah, Bent
16:22Do you ever wonder what they would have thought?
16:24Nay
16:25All the Von Hasenburgs who have gone before
16:28Can't have been easy for them sometimes either
16:31But they didn't sell out
16:33Maybe because nobody ever made them an offer
16:36Huh
16:37You might possibly be right
16:38Still doesn't make selling any easier
16:40Marcus and Lily are going into town
16:43Is there anything you'd like them to get for you?
16:45Just to tell any shopkeepers they see that we'll be paying them soon enough
16:50Yes
17:07Baroness, wait up!
17:08A minute if you please
17:10Ah, Herr Bauer
17:11My father wants me to tell you your bill will be paid very soon
17:14Forget about the account I just heard
17:17I'm sorry Herr Bauer, I heard what?
17:19Your father selling the car so
17:21Where on earth did you hear that?
17:22The baker
17:23I heard it from the butcher
17:24I heard it from the taxi driver who
17:26It's all over the village
17:30It's a terrible terrible thing
17:33Marcus
17:34I might have mentioned the possibility to the taxi driver's son
17:37I thought I could trust him
17:39In this town?
17:40You might as well broadcast it on the TV news
17:49At last
17:50That crook von Schweinesdummer is about to get his comeuppance
17:54The guy ripped you off over the roof tiles
17:56This is the very same
17:58Unless he can pay debts of 200,000 euros to be thrown in jail
18:02You see, there's justice in this world after all
18:05There's no justice as far as the local townspeople are concerned
18:08They're devastated that you're selling out
18:10None of them want a golf course
18:12Don't worry
18:13It will take years for the town council to agree to his plans
18:16I doubt there'll ever be a golf course in our lifetimes
18:18If ever
18:19But it's not only that, Daddy
18:20They feel we're turning our backs in hundreds of years of tradition
18:23We have to be realistic, Lily
18:25Tradition doesn't pay the bills
18:26Yeah, and Johnny Brave is a commoner
18:28They don't want the castle to be owned by someone who isn't even a proper noble
18:32I agree, it's not ideal
18:33But a decent commoner is ten times better than some fake aristocrat's border title
18:38Excuse me, Baron?
18:39Yes, Marcus
18:40The mayor's on the phone
18:41I suspect she wants to talk to you about the plans for the golf course?
18:44I bet she does
18:45Please start without me
18:52What are we gonna do?
18:53He's not listening to anything I say
18:55I know I said before I wouldn't come up with any more ideas
18:57But I think I might have had one that's just too good to resist
19:00Don't give up yet, Lily
19:02A white knight's just appeared who could come to your rescue
19:05Who?
19:06Your dad's best friend
19:07Count Herman von Schweinestuma
19:09Ben, are you mad?
19:10No
19:11At least not yet
19:12Look, I want you to contact Johnny Brave and tell him your father has agreed to the prices offered
19:17You are mad
19:18Hear me out
19:19Tell Johnny your dad will sell
19:21But only on one condition
19:24What's that?
19:30Good morning, Baron
19:45Good to see you, man
19:46Mr. Brave
19:47I have the contracts of sale
19:50All they need are our autographs
19:52I did exactly what you said
19:54I said better work
19:55Tell me about it
19:56Well
19:58It seems
19:59The time has come
20:02All right, Mr. Brave
20:03Let's get to it
20:06Johnny
20:07What?
20:08Aren't you forgetting something?
20:10Oh, Baron
20:11I have a surprise for you
20:13A surprise?
20:14I will be signing the contract under my new title
20:17What?
20:20What new title?
20:22I know you like this place to stay in the hands of a noble family
20:26So yesterday I bought a title to match
20:29You bought a title?
20:31I made an old pal of yours an offer he couldn't refuse
20:35He was in a bit of a financial trouble and so I helped him out
20:38It's a perfect win-win situation
20:40And just who exactly is this old pal?
20:43He was but now I am
20:45The Count von Schweinestomer at your service
20:48Von Schweinestomer?
20:50Do we have a problem here?
20:52I saved this fellow from going to jail
20:54I thought you'd be pleased
20:55On the contrary
20:56I'm not the slightest bit pleased
20:59First, von Schweinestomer is not my friend
21:02Second, he is a shameless thief
21:04And third, any title that is bought
21:07Will never be a title that resides at this castle
21:11Thank you for your offer, Mr. Brave
21:12But the sale is off
21:14Good day
21:19You said Tobias von Schweinestomer title would clinch the deal
21:23You said the Baron would love it
21:25I'm so sorry, Johnny
21:26Looks like I got it wrong
21:34The cheek of the man
21:35Imagine thinking for one moment I could be impressed by buying a title
21:39Spoken like a true aristocrat, Daddy
21:41I knew he wasn't up to much good the moment I met him
21:43He claimed he was an Australian Aborigine
21:45He what?
21:46Of course I saw through him in an instant
21:48He didn't even know how far boring can travel
21:51Marjorie, I never really wanted to sell the cars
21:54You do understand that, don't you?
21:55I do, Daddy
21:57Good news, Baron
21:58All the businesses in the village have agreed to defer payment on their overdue bills
22:02They have?
22:03We'll still have to pay eventually
22:04But at least we've got time to get our budget in order
22:06Marcus, that's fantastic
22:08And the mayor ring again
22:09To say how everyone in town is delighted that you won't be selling the castle after all
22:15You know for the first time in a long time I'm starting to feel a lot more positive about things
22:19We're going to make it work, Daddy
22:21Whatever it takes to keep our home, we'll do it
22:23This is all thanks to you, you know
22:28Actually, it's all thanks to Ben
22:33Actually, it's really all thanks to the Baron
22:36It's lucky for us, he's such a snob
22:38In the nicest possible way, of course
22:42Excuse me, young lady, I didn't order this
22:45Since when does the tomato sandwich come with a candle?
22:47Since I decided to thank you for bringing Johnny Brave here
22:51Is that all?
22:52No, and also for making him go away again
22:55That was brilliant
22:58Anything else I can get you, sir?
23:00Well, now that you mention it
23:02I might have two tomato sandwiches, thanks
23:08Given the rewards that seem to be flowing
23:10I might have to junk my policy of not coming up with any more ideas
23:13If I play my cards right, this ideas caper could turn into a real winner
23:21I'll see you next week
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