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00:00What have we got behind us here, Luke?
00:01What have we got?
00:03What haven't we got, probably?
00:04So, what are these for...?
00:06Premier League nightly wins.
00:08Is that from this year?
00:09Probably this year or last year.
00:11Yeah. How many did you get? Five this year?
00:13Four, yeah. Five.
00:14And you get a nice bonus as well, don't you, for winning the night?
00:17We can all do the maths, Luke. What's that?
00:18Five times. You're doing all right.
00:21Nice, some nice family photos.
00:24But you can do all this.
00:25You can't pass your driving theory.
00:30Oh! This is what we've tuned in for.
00:34Milya, look at this.
00:35Oh! Wow!
00:37It's pretty racy telly, isn't it?
00:39Oh!
00:40Oh! What?!
00:41Oh, no!
00:42Oh, this is awful.
00:44You're crying.
00:45Oh!
00:47Oh, I'm happy. Yeah.
00:49That makes me happy.
00:50This is a bit of you.
00:51My people.
00:52Fist bump me!
00:53Wee-hee!
00:54We've all got an undercarriage.
00:55No, you don't have to. Grow up!
00:57In the summer of 2025, we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:04Singletons were full of hope as they looked for love abroad on Discovery Plus.
01:09People would probably say, I'm a people pleaser.
01:11I'd like to say yes, not no.
01:13And I have, like, a resting happy face.
01:15A resting happy face?
01:16I think that would annoy me quite quick.
01:18Someone's just almost like this.
01:20Yeah, you're one of those people that frown upon people's happiness.
01:25No, I don't!
01:27You are.
01:28That's such an amazing trait to have.
01:30And you're like, oh, you dump someone because they're too happy.
01:33They're happy!
01:35The hardest working man in pop was on his travels on ITV.
01:40I'm Gary Barlow from Take That.
01:43There's a big audience out there, and we're ready.
01:46And we're on a huge world tour.
01:48I saw Jason Orange the other day, and I've got to tell you this, the truth, no-one sees him,
01:52and everyone's looking for him on Reddit.
01:53This is true.
01:54He's like a traitor.
01:55When he recognised...
01:56When he realised I'd recognised him, I was in Muswell Hill, this is God's honest truth,
02:00I was like, that's Jason Orange, and he went like this.
02:02What, he hid?
02:03Hood, and sort of smiled and scurried off.
02:05I love that, that orange.
02:06And then I Googled it, and no-one knows where he is.
02:08What did you Google?
02:10Where's Jason Orange?
02:11Where's Jason Orange?
02:12What's he been up to?
02:14Does he live in Muswell Hill?
02:16And the bed-hopping began on ITV2.
02:19Is everyone happy now in their new couples?
02:22I don't even feel like I need to say too much, lad.
02:26I am glad, though, that I'm not in the dating game anymore.
02:30And to be clear, I never was.
02:31How did you meet your missus?
02:33Well, I did the classic move of working with her for a year.
02:37Oh, OK.
02:38Player!
02:39He got game!
02:41In Essex.
02:42They're lovely crisps, then.
02:43Mmm, I like them.
02:44Kettle chips?
02:45Oh, they were the kettle ones.
02:46They're nice.
02:47They cook them in a kettle.
02:48Rylan and his mum, Linda.
02:49So, you know, like, your kettle?
02:50Yeah.
02:51For example, you could slice up potato.
02:52Right, this ain't a grinder.
02:53I'm telling you now, Mum.
02:54You slice up, that's why they're called kettle chips.
02:55Oh, I'm going to try, then.
02:56You slice up potato, put it in.
02:57Yeah.
02:58And...
02:59You're winding me up, aren't you?
03:00Oh, is that your bared arm?
03:01Sorry.
03:02Do you know what?
03:03No, it's only when you said, I'm going to try it, I thought you'd better not.
03:05You'd burn the arm, though.
03:06In June, it was time to find out.
03:07Oh, no.
03:08Oh, no.
03:09Oh, no.
03:10Oh, no.
03:11Oh, no.
03:12Oh, no.
03:13Oh, no.
03:14Oh, no.
03:15Oh, no.
03:16Oh, no.
03:17Oh, no.
03:18Oh, no.
03:19Oh, no.
03:20Oh, no.
03:21Oh, no.
03:22Oh, no.
03:23Oh, no.
03:24Oh, no.
03:25It was time to find out how clever some famous faces were on ITV.
03:30I'm actually getting a little bit hot now, thinking about the fact we're going to have
03:33to try and answer this question, and I think you're going to get it, and I'm not, because
03:37the Wabbers Egg Club is not my comfort zone.
03:39How would you say your general knowledge is?
03:41Oh, not good.
03:42No.
03:43I'll be honest, that was the answer as I expected.
03:45Yeah.
03:46And you got the right answer.
03:47You just have no general knowledge, because you don't watch the news.
03:50I do watch the news.
03:51Do you?
03:52Yeah.
03:53I always swipe to the little side thing on my phone.
03:56I don't mean the news on your phone, I mean on the TV.
03:58Yeah, I watch you. Do you?
04:00When Mum puts it on.
04:02Tonight, our contestants are all professional footballers
04:05and celebrities who support Soccer Aid.
04:07Why haven't they asked me to play in Soccer Aid?
04:10Oh, I hate it when they do celebrity versions of stuff.
04:13It's never as good as just the normal ones.
04:16The Brent Club Soccer Aid Special!
04:22I normally do quite alright on this.
04:23You're good at any quiz, you are.
04:25It's time for our first question.
04:29Right, get ready. Lock in.
04:30Lock in.
04:3190%, this is always easy. This is like, what day is it?
04:35Which of the following three pieces doesn't correctly match the image?
04:39Ooh, I like Jill Scott.
04:41I do.
04:42Easily, the A.
04:45Earring B.
04:46Yeah, Earring B.
04:47Wait, the eye?
04:48No, it's not the eye.
04:49No, the earring.
04:50What, doesn't match?
04:51Doesn't match.
04:54No, I think there's an extra wrinkle there and there shouldn't be.
04:56But then it...
04:57No, because of her mouth.
04:58Oh my God.
04:59I think her eye's okay.
05:00The mouth isn't.
05:01I think it's the eyebrow.
05:02No, it's B.
05:03It's A.
05:04It's B.
05:05Nobody should get this wrong.
05:09We can't be out for this one.
05:11See, that's the thing as well.
05:12They always make it easy for celebrities because yous are all thick.
05:16Yeah.
05:17I even forgot what we did.
05:18Yeah.
05:19We was naming what we did.
05:20See?
05:21Did we do?
05:22Yeah, yeah.
05:23One out?
05:24One out?
05:25Right, we lost one of you.
05:29He's a referee.
05:30Is he?
05:31Yeah.
05:32Do you know what they say about referees, boy?
05:33You don't know what you're doing.
05:35He's the ref that's always on Sky, stands by the wrong decisions.
05:40I'm glad he's out.
05:41It's B because the earring is different on Jill's ear.
05:44Woo!
05:45We got it right, B.
05:46Yes, indeed.
05:4790% of the country got that right.
05:49And you and the ref got it wrong.
05:51Let's move on to the 35% question.
05:53Oh, 35, mate.
05:54Oh, no.
05:55Get on your game.
05:56This is going to be hard.
05:57Ooh, trickier.
05:58Ooh.
05:59Which Premier League football team is this rhyming code for?
06:02Nest Jam.
06:04Nest Jam.
06:05It's not West Ham, is it?
06:07Ah!
06:08He's on it!
06:09He's on it!
06:10It's West Ham!
06:11West Ham.
06:12Why is it West Ham?
06:13Nest Jam.
06:15Bird's Nest Jam Jam.
06:17Yeah?
06:18Bird's Nest Jam Jam.
06:20Come on.
06:21Tottenham.
06:22Nest Pot.
06:23Tottenham.
06:24Tottenham.
06:25It's rhyming.
06:26Tottenham.
06:30Premier League football, West Ham.
06:31Nest.
06:32Nest.
06:33West Ham, Liverpool.
06:34I don't know all the teams.
06:35Nest.
06:36Uh, Brentford.
06:37Nest Jam.
06:38Nest Jam.
06:39No, don't say Nest Jam.
06:40You said Nest Jam 17 times now.
06:41It's not helping.
06:42West Ham!
06:43West Ham!
06:44What?
06:45Nest...
06:46No idea.
06:48Nest Jam.
06:49Nest Jam.
06:50Nest Jam.
06:51West Jam.
06:52West Ham!
06:54West Ham.
06:55West Ham rhymes with Nest Jam.
06:57I can't believe you actually got that right.
06:59That's fucking unbelievable.
07:00Mm.
07:01I'm not going to lie, that was very quick for me.
07:03I'm quite proud of that.
07:04Nest Jam!
07:05Yeah, if you say it quick and...
07:06Ooh!
07:07Ooh!
07:08Ooh!
07:09Nest Jam!
07:10I don't know their chant.
07:11Also, yeah, you've never been to a football game.
07:13Ooh!
07:14Ooh!
07:15Ooh!
07:16What's that?
07:17It's time for the 30% question.
07:18Come on, Perry.
07:19Head in the game.
07:2030% question.
07:21What does that even mean?
07:23Which England footballer is spelt out in this code below?
07:26Oh, no.
07:27Eh?
07:28How am I supposed to know hieroglyphics?
07:30I used to know them.
07:31I used to learn them.
07:32I used to have a hieroglyphics bookmark on papyrus.
07:38What?
07:39They've got to be Roman letters or something.
07:41Snake-eye bird wave.
07:43Whale comb eye foot wings.
07:46Wait, let me concentrate.
07:48Oh, er...
07:51It's got Frank Kirby, I think.
07:52I think one of us has to just gamble.
07:54You have to go somewhere and I'll go somewhere.
07:56Otherwise we're both out.
07:59Hey, Mary Earps.
08:01I'm going to go Frank Kirby.
08:02It's Frank Kirby.
08:03Because the second letter of the first name
08:05and the third letter of the last name
08:07are the same in Fran and Kirby.
08:10Makes no sense at all.
08:11Absolutely not.
08:12I think I'm using a pass.
08:13Definitely use my pass.
08:14Let's see who got it right.
08:16Everyone's going to be out.
08:17This is going to separate the wheat from the chaff.
08:19I'll tell you that for now.
08:22Oh, and they're just ticking them off.
08:25Well, and me.
08:26No, because we used to pass.
08:28It's Frank Kirby.
08:29The only symbol that is repeated
08:30represents the second letter of the first name
08:32and the third letter of the second name.
08:34Mmm!
08:36Mmm!
08:37Ross, you need to go on there.
08:39Is that your most clever now?
08:41Oh, no.
08:42Absolutely not.
08:43You took a guess and I took a guess.
08:44Strategically we've played for each other there
08:46because we took a punt each.
08:47After whittling down the sports stars and celebrities
08:49here in the studio,
08:50we are left with the 1% question.
08:52This is it.
08:53Right, deals, come on.
08:54In the opening verse to the original version of Three Lions,
08:58what two words feature exactly three times in the lyrics?
09:03Please don't.
09:05They've seen it all before.
09:08They just know.
09:10They're so sure.
09:14Is it it?
09:15It.
09:16It.
09:17It.
09:18It.
09:19It.
09:20It.
09:21It.
09:23It.
09:24It.
09:25So it's it and no?
09:26No.
09:27It and no.
09:28England is going to throw and blow it away, but no.
09:30So no.
09:31Is it no?
09:32No.
09:33Oh, this game's stressing me out.
09:37Three no's.
09:38It's no and it.
09:39No and it.
09:40Yeah, there's three no's.
09:41No and it.
09:42No and it.
09:43It and no.
09:45It and no.
09:46That's what I said.
09:47I said no, did I?
09:49Yeah, you said no.
09:51No and it!
09:52Yeah!
09:53It's literally the greatest moment of my life!
09:58Why didn't they ask you to run then?
10:00Can't believe it.
10:01And they all thought I was dopey.
10:03Yeah.
10:04But why did we get it right?
10:05Because you're fucking intelligent.
10:07You're answering things right and you just do it automatically.
10:10Yeah.
10:11Yeah.
10:12Without thought.
10:13Since you start thinking.
10:14I do everything without thought.
10:15I mean there's nothing worse than fucking thinking, is there?
10:18Yeah, yeah.
10:19I like your socks Joe.
10:29They're um, they're tartan.
10:31Where are they from?
10:32Scotland.
10:33Friends Roisin and Joe.
10:35They're not from Scotland.
10:36I get all my socks in Scotland.
10:38You don't get all my socks?
10:39I do.
10:40I get my socks.
10:41Where is your socks?
10:42I get my socks in Scotland, my trousers from Wales and my top and my underwear from England.
10:47And Ireland I get, I accessorise.
10:50I accessorise from Ireland.
10:52Okay.
10:53Socks from Scotland, trousers from Wales, tops and underwear from England.
10:59I don't care about the rest of your clothes.
11:00Okay.
11:01I only care about the socks.
11:02The rest of your clothes are boring.
11:04The socks add some pizzazz.
11:05Do you want to work up my luggage?
11:06No.
11:07Mainland Europe.
11:08In July, there was some transatlantic dating on Discovery Plus.
11:13Hey Clay, you're single.
11:14Would you let me match make you?
11:15No.
11:16No.
11:17What do you mean no right away?
11:18Who would you put me with?
11:19Would you not trust me?
11:20I don't know.
11:21I once went on a date where I lived in Paris with a French girl.
11:28Woo hoo, la la.
11:30So I might be able to bring some expertise to this.
11:33I've got a friend who's married to someone who lives abroad and he quite likes it because
11:36he's got to come back here for work so he gets to be away from her quite a lot.
11:39That sounds like a good relationship.
11:40Oh yeah, rock solid.
11:43I'm Victoria.
11:44Hi Victoria.
11:45I like her already.
11:46I love her.
11:47In a few hours I'm headed to the airport going to Ireland.
11:50Ireland.
11:51You do love Irish accents.
11:52I love an Irish accent.
11:53I mean I do love a ginger.
11:55I love a ginger.
11:56I love a ginger.
11:57That's why I'm going to Ireland.
11:58Love some freckles.
11:59They drink a lot.
12:00I mean she has to stereotype the whole notion there.
12:03She's going to Ireland because she thinks they drink a lot, they're ginger and they have
12:06freckles.
12:07Sorry.
12:09She calls herself an equal opportunity dater.
12:12This is a matchmaker.
12:13But what it actually means is that she's desperate to date anyone.
12:17Flippin' hell, alright Trina.
12:19She's desperate to date anyone.
12:21I want to see your wish list.
12:24Oh, wish list.
12:25Here we go.
12:26Right, let's find out what she wants.
12:27So what have we got here?
12:29Okay, full head of hair.
12:32Full head of hair.
12:33Good.
12:34No bull people.
12:35Right.
12:36Spontaneous.
12:37And I want someone with like a dark side.
12:40A dark side?
12:41Yeah, I'm really into goths.
12:42Yeah, or evil villains.
12:45Yeah, preferably stroking a cat on a spinning chair.
12:48What?
12:49Tattoos.
12:50Do like drugs on the spur of the moment.
12:52Did she say drugs?
12:54Did she say drugs?
12:55You know, someone who could do drugs on the spur of the moment.
12:58I thought she said that.
12:59What the fuck?
13:00Someone like wild, like maybe they've been arrested.
13:03I've been in prison.
13:05She wants an absolute rogue.
13:07Normally you say, I quite like bad boys, but I shouldn't.
13:10She got really excited.
13:11She's like, I need him to have been arrested.
13:13A few tattoos, preferably on the neck.
13:16I really love a mugshot.
13:17Oh!
13:19Today is my first official date.
13:21Katerina has picked an oyster farm for our date spot.
13:24An oyster farm.
13:25Bit obvious.
13:26An oyster farm with a bad boy.
13:28So, the match I have for Victoria is Dave.
13:31Dave.
13:32Dave.
13:33Dave.
13:34Dave, the dangerous Dave.
13:35Dangerous Dave.
13:36Oh, watch out.
13:37Let's see if an Irish bad boy is the kind of guy Victoria needs.
13:43Irish bad boy.
13:44Come on.
13:45Where's Dave at?
13:48Frickin' hell.
13:50Yes.
13:51He's so sad.
13:53Why does he sound like the cross-channel fairy?
13:56Aww.
13:57Hey.
13:58How are you?
13:59Good, how are you?
14:00Very good.
14:01Nice to meet you.
14:02He looks like a nice boy.
14:03Nice.
14:04He looks quite nice, doesn't he?
14:05Oh, just there.
14:07Ah!
14:08There you go.
14:09Oh, God.
14:10Don't give dangerous Dave a hose.
14:12Can I blast myself with it?
14:14Can I blast myself with it?
14:15Whoa!
14:18He's mad!
14:21He's mad!
14:22He's mad!
14:23He's fucking mad!
14:24That was kind of sore, actually.
14:26Of course it was.
14:27You've just jet-washed your face, Dave.
14:30Probably got a black eye.
14:32Yeah, quite sore, actually.
14:34Victoria seems like she's up for good fun, and I really like that about her.
14:38I appreciated that, so, like, I wouldn't mind, like, sleeping with her.
14:41HE LAUGHS
14:42HE LAUGHS
14:44HE LAUGHS
14:45HE LAUGHS
14:46Dave is unbelievable!
14:48That is definitely an aprodisiac.
14:50I am getting so excited.
14:51I'm feeling roundy now, what about you?
14:53You sweet-talking bastard.
14:55HE LAUGHS
14:56Imagine in broad daylight, without a drink, without even a bit of flirting,
15:00someone just goes, I've got the horn for you!
15:03HE LAUGHS
15:04Just to let you know, I have an erection.
15:06HE LAUGHS
15:07I've had four oysters, and I'm as hard as a tank.
15:11Let me try some, like, the green sauce.
15:14How's that? Oh, that's a good... Is that enough?
15:16He's put too much on there.
15:17This is going to be another Dave Wilde moment, isn't it?
15:20HE LAUGHS
15:21Not wild!
15:22Yeah!
15:23HE LAUGHS
15:24HE LAUGHS
15:25HE LAUGHS
15:27He's taken the horn out of him!
15:30HE LAUGHS
15:31Speaking of spice, let's put some in my eye.
15:34Please do it, please do it, please do it, please do it.
15:37HE LAUGHS
15:39What are you doing?
15:40No!
15:41No, no, no, no!
15:42HE LAUGHS
15:44HE LAUGHS
15:46HE LAUGHS
15:48HE LAUGHS
15:50Imagine being on a date!
15:52HE LAUGHS
15:54Oh, my eye!
15:56HE LAUGHS
15:58HE LAUGHS
15:59He's an absolute fucking lunatic.
16:02For her next date, great icebreaker.
16:05Like, to be able to go, what's your worst first date?
16:08No-one would believe her.
16:09Yeah, that's true.
16:10A guy turned up with a train horn, told me he was horny,
16:13and then poured Tabasco in his eyes.
16:15Yeah, and sprayed himself in the face with a high-pressured hose.
16:19HE LAUGHS
16:21In Manchester...
16:22Do you know what?
16:23In all my time, I've never been on a parent's WhatsApp group.
16:27How good is that?
16:28At school?
16:29That's terrible.
16:30Friends Mark and Kelly.
16:32Oh, they're funny, though.
16:33They're not?
16:34They are.
16:35I was class rep when you...
16:36Class rep when you...
16:37HE LAUGHS
16:38HE LAUGHS
16:40Class rep?
16:41Yeah.
16:42What did you have to do to be class rep?
16:44I don't know, but I put a lot of GIFs on my...
16:46On my WhatsApps.
16:47You'd have hated me.
16:48You'd just put GIFs on your WhatsApps all the time.
16:50You'd have hated me.
16:52I would put little things out and go,
16:53Morning, everyone!
16:54HE LAUGHS
16:56Leave.
16:57Leave.
16:58Mark Chapman has left the group.
16:59HE LAUGHS
17:01In the summer, we were taken on another big boating adventure with this.
17:07Quick, hurry up.
17:08What?
17:09Because we're going to miss Canal Boat Diaries if you don't change the channel.
17:13Have you been on a canal boat?
17:14Yeah, bro.
17:15Slept on one.
17:16Really?
17:17Horrible experience.
17:18HE LAUGHS
17:19I'm Robbie Cumming.
17:23That's me.
17:24Hello.
17:25That's him.
17:26I've watched this before.
17:27I love him.
17:28You know what?
17:29I think Robbie's now become one of me heroes.
17:30And this is my narrowboat home.
17:32The Naughty Lass.
17:33The Naughty Lass.
17:34Hello.
17:35I like that.
17:36I like her name.
17:37The Naughty Lass.
17:38Double entendre.
17:39Come on.
17:40Come on.
17:41I learnt that word recently, you know.
17:43Really?
17:44I've been waiting to use it, boy.
17:46Lovely start to the morning.
17:48He just had his hands in the Naughty Lass's gearbox, then.
17:51Can you show that on the cellar?
17:54This time, I'm tackling the Basingstoke Canal.
17:57The Basingstoke Canal.
17:59Don't want to throw shade at anyone here.
18:02Doesn't sound amazing.
18:09Do you reckon by lock three, it's a bit boring?
18:11I think it's...
18:12Like, the first one's quite fun.
18:13Yeah, the...
18:14Second one, you get the end of it, and then you're like,
18:15Oh, this again.
18:16Novelty's worn off.
18:17Yeah.
18:18This trip is likely to be a bit of a challenge for me.
18:21Go on.
18:22The Basingstoke Canal is notorious for weed.
18:26Basingstoke Canal's notorious for weed.
18:29It is.
18:30Always, always was.
18:31Always was, yeah.
18:32Always was, mate.
18:33Weed?
18:34Weed.
18:35What?
18:36Weed, weed.
18:37Oh.
18:38Getting caught on the propeller.
18:39Oh, weed.
18:40I thought you meant weed.
18:41No.
18:42Although it's somewhere I'm really looking forward to exploring,
18:44there is a side of me that's thinking,
18:46can I actually make it to the end?
18:48I don't know.
18:49Oh, shit.
18:50There's the jeopardy.
18:51Robbie, don't be mad.
18:52Turn back.
18:53It's the Basingstoke Canal.
18:55As soon as I enter it, there's a massive raft of weeds.
18:59Oh.
19:00He's got to get through those weeds.
19:01Yeah.
19:02And what we know, the Basingstoke Canal is notorious for them, Denise.
19:06Here we go.
19:08I love you.
19:09Go on.
19:10Thankfully, that weed wasn't a worry.
19:12Oh, thank God for that, Robert.
19:14That's it.
19:15I'm so happy for you.
19:16Woo!
19:17Right.
19:18Another early morning and I just need to make myself some breakfast
19:22before I set off.
19:23Oh, what's he going to have?
19:24This is going to be interesting.
19:26What's he got?
19:28Looking at my supplies here of my homemade muesli.
19:32That needs to be topped up.
19:35There's nothing like watching someone make their own muesli.
19:38I'll tell you what, mate.
19:39That's it.
19:41Life in the fast lane.
19:42Add some more oats.
19:44Some seeds.
19:46Dried fruit.
19:47That's not breakfast.
19:49No.
19:50And I usually put in some kind of naughty sugary cereal.
19:53So I've got some hoops.
19:55Hang on.
19:56He's chucked some Cheerios in there.
19:58Yeah.
19:59That's not healthy.
20:00Oh!
20:01He's the most wholesome but boring man I've ever...
20:03And, guys, no-one said anything but, uh...
20:06Frosted Truddies.
20:07It's like, ooooh!
20:09Oh, I feel sorry for him now.
20:15Why?
20:16I don't know.
20:17Look at him.
20:18Look at his little hat.
20:19That's so patronising.
20:20Look at his little hat.
20:21He's coming into fleet.
20:25Oh, he's coming into fleet now.
20:27Oh!
20:28Oh!
20:29I've just seen possibly the lowest bridge that I've ever come across.
20:33Oh.
20:34Oh, no.
20:36This is the highlight of his day!
20:39This is hilarious.
20:44That's going to be tricky.
20:46I bet it gets stuck.
20:47I bet the boat gets stuck.
20:48Well, if it does, it'll liven it the fuck up.
20:50Yeah.
20:53Oh!
20:54No!
20:55Robbie!
20:56I think there might have been some breakage.
20:59Oh, shit.
21:00He's going to be stuck.
21:01This is what we've tuned in for.
21:03The boat is basically wedged underneath this bridge.
21:06Why did he go that far in?
21:08I don't know what I'm going to do.
21:10And they thought the weed was going to be the problem.
21:13Common sense.
21:14Like, why did he not think, oh, I'm not getting under there,
21:18take all the stuff off?
21:20He's worried about all his energies on knocking up his own muesli.
21:22Yeah.
21:23I have to call my friend Jamie.
21:24He lives locally with his family.
21:26And he helped me the other day, so I'm hoping he can help me again.
21:30Unless he's fucking Superman or something.
21:34What do you want?
21:35I imagine turning up to that and going, what the fuck,
21:37what do you want me to do?
21:38Yeah, why have you called me?
21:39Well, because you're a mate and I know you live local.
21:42You know, I work in an office.
21:45He came down, jumped on the front of the boat adding a bit more weight.
21:50He jumped way out!
21:52Does he?
21:53That gave us just enough room with Jamie on the front
21:56to get the boat underneath the bridge.
21:58Wow.
21:59And he's through.
22:00Oh, thank God.
22:01That was real.
22:02That was touch and go then.
22:04Thanks for rescuing me.
22:05Thanks, Jamie.
22:07See ya.
22:08Is this actually a show?
22:09Yeah, yeah.
22:10I'll be honest with you, he's not done a good job of showing you
22:12how good a life could be on a little narrow boat.
22:15No, what he has done is show you what it's really like.
22:17No.
22:18He has.
22:19You need to eat food out of boxes.
22:21You get stuck under branches.
22:22You know the way television works.
22:24It was all X-factored and made to look more interesting than what it was.
22:28That was more interesting?
22:30Yes.
22:31In Essex.
22:40Can I tell you what shocks me to this day?
22:42I can't get over it.
22:43Do you want your pack of dishwasher tablets at all?
22:45I don't know why they're pricing them there.
22:47You need a small mortgage for dishwasher tablets.
22:51Best mates Jordan and Perry.
22:54Oh, sorry.
22:55If I take them home and I've got to rip the packet open.
22:57Yeah.
22:58Fuming.
22:59The pot that pops.
23:00Yeah.
23:01But even when you rip the packet open, I find it all the time.
23:03It's like putting my hand and you put your hand in it.
23:05A lot of them are burst.
23:06Like all the time.
23:07Maybe I'm just too rough on my shopping.
23:08No, you're heavy handed.
23:09I am quite heavy handed.
23:10I love, I'm nine and never burst.
23:12I like doing that and then go.
23:13Okay.
23:14I think you need to, you need to grow up a bit though.
23:17Really?
23:18Yeah.
23:19That's how you, that's how you turn the dishwasher on.
23:20I think you need to live a little.
23:21Next time.
23:22Next time.
23:23Put your hand in that packet.
23:24I'm telling you.
23:25Do that.
23:26Yeah.
23:27Is that it?
23:29Yeah, but it's better without the eye contact.
23:32Back in June, Weatherfield's finest were on the warpath again on ITV.
23:40I'd done something in Coronation Street, I could never tell anyone.
23:43I went to a party there once.
23:45I won't let you know what happened but it was...
23:47What, you mean on set? On set?
23:49Yeah.
23:50In the back of the Rovers.
23:51Coronation Street.
23:52Aye.
23:53The funniest of the soaps, am I wrong?
23:55What's the concept?
23:57Is it one street?
23:58Is it like Sesame Street?
23:59It's just the area, isn't it?
24:00It's not...
24:01Big Bird's gonna make it a bit.
24:02That's only my favourite, Mrs Snuffleupagus.
24:03The Snuffleupagus.
24:04I like Oscar.
24:05In the episode, we dropped into Rye's Rolls and a tense standoff between Lou and Maria.
24:22Do you want some of it?
24:23What?
24:24Me and my family are decent people, I prefer if you kept your distance.
24:28Oh no.
24:29Oh no.
24:30Hold on, hold on, hold on.
24:31That's a bold opener, isn't it?
24:33Yes, I mean...
24:34You scumbag.
24:35Just stay out of my business and I'll stay out of yours.
24:37Aww.
24:39Georgie, Georgie, Georgie.
24:41That's what you're like.
24:43Oh dear.
24:44Something wrong, isn't it?
24:46I don't know, I just...
24:49I just feel like I'm trying so hard to fit in round here.
24:51And no-one wants to know me.
24:53Well, no-one wants to know Lou because...
24:55Why not?
24:56If the old fella killed the cop, killed Craigie.
25:00Did he?
25:01Yeah.
25:02So her husband's been done for murder and she's just trying to fit in now?
25:04Well, I think everybody's still very angry with that husband of yours.
25:08So who's...
25:11I just think everybody's a bit miffed with your husband for killing that police officer.
25:16He's a cheeky bugger, isn't he?
25:18David was supposed to take this to the back, but I haven't seen Hyde nor her.
25:23She's not daft.
25:24Did you see her eyes light up when Audrey was doing the tilt?
25:27Yeah.
25:28I can take it if you like.
25:29No, no, no.
25:30It's all right.
25:32Er, Shauna can give it to him and give him a kick up the backside.
25:35She's been in a lot of plates here, Audrey, isn't she?
25:37Yeah.
25:38This is her in the scene.
25:39Hold on.
25:40Hold on.
25:41What do you want?
25:42No.
25:43You take it.
25:44No.
25:45No.
25:46You take it.
25:47No, you.
25:48No.
25:49Which one of you will take it?
25:51A bit later and everyone had popped round to David Platt's for a barbecue.
25:56She said it was a deal breaker.
25:57Why is David so iconic?
25:59Mm.
26:00It's a fella that's just one big brother.
26:01Big brother.
26:02And!
26:03Cop a load of that.
26:04I saw that last time I came.
26:06Huh?
26:07What is it?
26:08Oh, David loves his new table, does he?
26:11Right, everyone, nibbles!
26:12No!
26:13Not on there!
26:14Seriously, don't, don't put them on there.
26:16Come on.
26:17So it's for?
26:18Massive chat about a table.
26:19Yeah, I was going to say, what are they all just talking about the one piece of table?
26:22Yeah, it's a big topic in the outsides.
26:24That must have been a local tree.
26:25All right, Barry Keoghan's got the same one, apparently.
26:28No, he has!
26:29Who's Barry Keoghan?
26:30Barry Keoghan, the actor.
26:31Barry Keoghan.
26:32Is it called Keoghan?
26:33From Saltburn.
26:34David!
26:35Ah.
26:36Here.
26:37What do you want me to do with this?
26:38What is it?
26:39It's cash from the salon.
26:40Oh!
26:41She's got an A on that cash from the salon again, Lou!
26:43Blotting and scheming!
26:44It's like a front for a heroin business, isn't it?
26:46Audrey would be right on it, wouldn't she?
26:47Yeah.
26:48She ironed up the coffee table.
26:49She's got an A on that cash from the salon again, Lou!
26:51Blotting and scheming!
26:52It's like a front for a heroin business, isn't it?
26:53Audrey would be right on it, wouldn't she?
26:54Yeah.
26:55She ironed up the coffee table.
26:59She is as well.
27:00She's seen that coffee table.
27:02She's gone, is that Barry Keoghan's one?
27:04I was snicking the cash.
27:09Mm-mm.
27:10Don't do it, Lou!
27:11Don't do it, Lou!
27:12Don't do it, Lou!
27:17She's put it back!
27:18Put it back.
27:19Good choice!
27:21I knew it!
27:22Oh!
27:23Oh!
27:24Oh, how dare you!
27:25Oh, I was just looking for something.
27:26Yeah, I know exactly what you were doing, you thieving cow.
27:28Oh!
27:29Thieving cow.
27:30See, that's what I would have called the two.
27:31I was looking for a brown envelope.
27:32I brought my own brown envelope with me.
27:34Saw a brown envelope there, I thought, oh, is that my brown envelope?
27:37No, that's the one with all the money in it.
27:39Yeah, that's got the money in it.
27:40I don't want that one.
27:41My one's the one without the money in it.
27:42Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:43Which is, erm, so if you do see that, let me know.
27:46Anyway, love this coffee table.
27:48I know you're up to summit.
27:49Oh, aren't you naked?
27:50You're going nowhere.
27:51What are you doing?
27:52Get off of it, Maria!
27:54You're going nowhere, you're going to sit on that coffee table, love.
27:58They're going to smash the table.
27:59David's going to be livid.
28:00Don't fight near the table!
28:02Shut up.
28:03Captain, know it all.
28:04Right, I think we're going to have to send out for pizza.
28:06I wouldn't even give that to David the Duck.
28:09No!
28:10What was that?
28:11The table!
28:12Barry Kiergens' coffee table!
28:21What was that, smash?
28:22You know what it was, David.
28:23It's your coffee table, mate.
28:25Oh, my arm is killing me!
28:26Oh, you're joking!
28:28You're joking!
28:29You're joking!
28:30You're joking!
28:31You're joking!
28:32You're joking, are you?
28:33You're joking!
28:34That was Barry Kiergens' one!
28:35I didn't fall and I'm not drunk.
28:38She pushed me.
28:39Oh!
28:40Oh!
28:41Oh!
28:42Come on.
28:43Who's standing on what side?
28:44She was rummaging through that bag, yeah?
28:46And I said to her, what are you playing at?
28:48She said nothing, so I said, right, okay, show me your pockets then.
28:51She did.
28:52Look at them all standing round there, like it's fucking Cluedo.
28:56I like how she's explaining everything and poor old David's there just looking at his table.
29:03Just looking through.
29:04Just picking up the bits.
29:06You know, if you don't believe me, just look and she's on his bag.
29:09Ooh!
29:13Money's still here.
29:14Still, she's guilty.
29:16It's not all Arrow, is it?
29:17Is it not?
29:18Why is the painting of Jim Broadbent behind her?
29:22Oh, yeah.
29:23Do you reckon that was a real table they used?
29:26Or was it a stunt table?
29:27I hope not.
29:29It's going to keep me up tonight.
29:31I'm not going to stop thinking about that coffee table, Claire.
29:33Sorry, Matt.
29:37Shall we compare helmets?
29:39Because you got a Vespa here, I got a bike.
29:41Wow, yours is very pink and shiny.
29:43Mates Munya and Jamie.
29:45I'm aerodynamic, yeah?
29:47Look at that.
29:48You look like a professional.
29:49Look at the point on that, yeah?
29:51I'm a professional cyclist when I do this.
29:53It's unbelievable.
29:54Isn't it?
29:55Stay like that.
29:56Do you know how you can tell if it's good?
29:57Stay like that.
29:58Don't move.
29:59Don't move.
30:00This is how you can tell.
30:01Ready?
30:02Look at the arch.
30:03The arch is crazy.
30:04And I can keep...
30:05No, no, no, not water, bro.
30:06Because now I can't move.
30:07Okay, yeah, yeah.
30:08But now do the legs.
30:09Do the legs.
30:10No, because it's going to spill on me.
30:11You've just trapped me.
30:12You've trapped me in some sort of weird twisted sore challenge.
30:15Right, if I cycle real slowly.
30:17Okay, go and pedal.
30:18Look at that.
30:19I'm pedalling.
30:20I'm just going up a hill.
30:21I am pedalling, bro.
30:22Pedal.
30:26In the summer, Gary Barlow's enjoying some culinary delights down under on ITV.
30:32I'm into my wine at the minute, aren't I?
30:35Yeah, you have really got into wine.
30:37Oh, I love it.
30:38Every time I ring you, it's like, yeah, I've just enjoyed a bottle of red.
30:41And I'm like...
30:42He's aged better, actually.
30:43He looks much better now than when he was first and take that.
30:47Really?
30:48Yeah.
30:49Men do seem to age well.
30:50Don't we?
30:51Generally.
30:52Most men.
30:53No.
30:54He had a good lockdown, didn't he, Barlow?
30:56What do you mean?
30:57What did he do in lockdown?
31:02He played his piano a lot online.
31:04Did he?
31:05Yeah.
31:06Someone was watching him a lot on lockdown.
31:08He couldn't stop him, couldn't not watch him.
31:13I'm hundreds of miles from the nearest city.
31:16Alice Springs!
31:17We've been there.
31:18Yeah.
31:19But I'm not quite as alone as I look.
31:21Oh, he's got company.
31:23Who is it?
31:24Because unless I'm hallucinating...
31:27It's Ronan!
31:28I'd swear that was Ronan Keaton coming towards me.
31:31What's he doing there?
31:32Oh, it's boy band heaven.
31:33Gary!
31:34Yes!
31:35Yes!
31:36What are the chances?
31:39I hate things like this on programmes like this, because...
31:42It's not a surprise, Gary.
31:43It's not a surprise, Gary.
31:44You've come in production, I've told you.
31:45They've told you.
31:46Ronan Keaton's not walked there across Australia.
31:49Don't you bring me to all the nice places.
31:51Look at this.
31:52Sworn enemies up until ten minutes ago.
31:55That's the truth.
31:57I've got another surprise for Ronan.
31:59They should like this one.
32:00They're actually very similar, aren't they?
32:02Yes, they are.
32:03They're slowly turned into the same person, aren't they?
32:05I think that's what Gary Barlow shows about.
32:07He just slowly turns everyone into Gary Barlow.
32:08Yeah.
32:09Yeah.
32:10We try our hands at creating a sound that's become synonymous with Australia's indigenous
32:15culture.
32:16BT.
32:17I sense a didgeridoo will be upon me.
32:20Oh!
32:21The didgeridoo!
32:22It's going to be the didgeridoo.
32:23So we've come to a sand dune for a didgeridoo masterclass.
32:27I'd love to have a go on one of them.
32:29I think quite hard.
32:30I don't know.
32:31There's no buttons, is there?
32:32To learn all about the rhythms of this ancient, mystical instrument.
32:36Are they not allowed one?
32:37They've got to play the sticks.
32:38Yeah, there's only one.
32:39They can only afford one.
32:40You know what I really, really wanted to see today?
32:43Yeah.
32:44Is Gary Barlow and Roni Keaton banging sticks together?
32:47You said that before we started this, didn't you?
32:49I did, yeah.
32:50Love that sound of the didgeridoo.
32:53Absolutely.
32:54You can't not love that sound.
32:55All day with that buzzing around your nut, eh?
32:59That'll twist your melon.
33:01Where you breathe is on the chit and on the do.
33:03Huh?
33:04What did he say?
33:05Talking to spit up.
33:06He said, tuwaki, tuwaki.
33:07Go on, try that.
33:08Tuwaki, tuwaki.
33:09So, tuwaki, I leap out of the water going, tuwaki, tuwaki.
33:12Then I come up to the part where I'm going to breathe and go...
33:14He's been like the worst teacher in the whole world.
33:17I haven't got a single clue what he's talking about.
33:20Air here, air here.
33:22Mouth.
33:23Didge.
33:24Air, air.
33:25Two forces meeting.
33:26Oh, shut up.
33:27Can I just say, it's a didgeridoo.
33:29All you've got to do is just blow?
33:31Yes.
33:32Hum at the back of your throat and just go...
33:34Didgeridoo.
33:35Didgeridoo.
33:36Didgeridoo.
33:37Didgeridoo.
33:38Didgeridoo.
33:39Didgeridoo.
33:40Didgeridoo.
33:41Didgeridoo.
33:42Didgeridoo.
33:43Didgeridoo.
33:44Didgeridoo.
33:45That's it, that's it.
33:46Beautiful.
33:47Didgeridoo.
33:48I love it.
33:49Runa's involved now.
33:50I think he might be winding them up.
33:51I think it is.
33:52I feel like Ant and Dec are going to come out in a second.
33:54I've done an earpiece the whole time.
33:56Listen.
33:57That's the didgeridoo.
33:58That's the didgeridoo.
33:59That's the didgeridoo.
34:00Oh, didgeridoo.
34:01Yeah.
34:02Where's the do?
34:03Then the do.
34:04Not massively different.
34:05Put them together.
34:06Didgeridoo.
34:07Didgeridoo.
34:08Didgeridoo.
34:09Didgeridoo.
34:10Didgeridoo.
34:11Didgeridoo.
34:12Didgeridoo.
34:13Didgeridoo.
34:14Didgeridoo.
34:15Didgeridoo.
34:16Didgeridoo.
34:17Didgeridoo.
34:18Didgeridoo.
34:19Didgeridoo.
34:20What was the thing I need to do?
34:21Oh, no.
34:22He's not going to have a go, is he?
34:23Did you do that?
34:25Except that Sam's muffling it.
34:31Excuse me.
34:32Thanks, mate.
34:33And with that, we're both back where we started.
34:36On the rhythm section.
34:37Gary didn't have a go.
34:39Why isn't Gary going to have a go?
34:41Doesn't want to make an idiot of himself.
34:42Oh, OK.
34:49Is this really...
34:50I feel like I'm hallucinating.
34:51What, would you rather play the maracas or didgeridoo?
34:54Well, the maracas are easy, but I play both equally as bad.
34:58In North London.
34:59Want a crisp?
35:00No.
35:01Try not to eat crisps.
35:02Why not?
35:03Why not?
35:04I'm just trying to, you know, keep it real.
35:06Stephen and his sister Anita.
35:07I did the marathon and what happens is you stop running and you just eat for six months.
35:21So I'm going to try not to do that.
35:24Oh, I see.
35:25So you're trying not to eat or just trying to...
35:26Well, I'm trying not to eat rubbish.
35:28I see.
35:29Yeah.
35:30Because you think you can eat anything when you're running that much and then you stop running
35:33and then you carry on eating that much.
35:34I love the way you just got that in there because I've just done the marathon.
35:37I just like to drop that into every occasion.
35:39Excuse me.
35:40Do you know that I just run the marathon a few weeks ago?
35:43He's not.
35:44Hello?
35:453.56 and 22 seconds.
35:47Oh, my God.
35:48In June, ITV livened up our morning with more of this.
35:53Wakey, wakey, mate.
35:55Fucking this morning's up.
35:57Come in, Bea.
35:58Let's see how they managed to fill a few hours of television.
36:07Jeez, come on, bro.
36:11This is something called morning TV.
36:13Yeah.
36:14You know, while you're asleep, other people are making television.
36:17Yeah.
36:18You've never watched this, have you?
36:19Because you've literally never been awake.
36:20Yeah.
36:21Not just any old Fish Friday today.
36:23No.
36:24It's officially...
36:25Officially.
36:26Get it?
36:27National Fish and Chip Day.
36:28National Fish and Chip Day?
36:29National Fish and Chip Day.
36:30Okay.
36:31Wow.
36:32Do you like fish and chips?
36:33I do.
36:34I love fish and chips.
36:35I like fish, chips.
36:36Lord Sutton Dinger and curry sauce to dip in.
36:39Oh, you're so northern.
36:40To celebrate, we've got the potato queen herself, Poppy O'Toole.
36:44Oh, I like Poppy.
36:45The potato...
36:46She cooks potatoes in lots of different ways.
36:47Yeah, Poppy's amazing.
36:48She's incredible.
36:49I've seen this girl do things with potatoes that are inhuman.
36:52What's your favourite way to have a potato?
36:53Go.
36:54Dock from war.
36:55You fancy fucker!
36:56So, we've got the mega Fish and Chip butty.
36:59Oh, my goodness.
37:00But all of the components are quite flashy.
37:02Ooh, look at that.
37:03Ooh!
37:04Oh, my goodness.
37:05Oh, man.
37:06That's not a fish butty, mate.
37:07That's a banquet.
37:08And I'm all for it.
37:0910.30 or not, mate.
37:10I'm in there.
37:11So, we're starting off with a vodka and tonic battered fish.
37:15What?
37:16Yes.
37:17Vodka.
37:18Vodka in the batter.
37:19Oh, she's muscle.
37:20I like her.
37:21Yeah.
37:22A tonic batter.
37:23Yeah.
37:24Just when it couldn't get any better.
37:25You would love that.
37:26Vodka, fish and chips.
37:27What's your favourite fish to have as fish and chips?
37:29Are you cod, girl, haddock?
37:30Cod.
37:31It's got to be cod.
37:32This is journalism.
37:33This is good.
37:34I'm haddock.
37:35I am haddock.
37:36I love haddock.
37:37They all taste the same.
37:38They're in batter.
37:39I'd have a remote control for one in a deep fat frayer.
37:41What's your favourite fish for a...
37:42Haddock.
37:43Is it?
37:44Yeah, what's yours?
37:45Haddock as well, actually.
37:46Well, that's...
37:47Good chat.
37:48If you go to fish and chips shop, what's your normal order?
37:50What about a pickled egg?
37:52I don't mind a pickled egg.
37:54I love a pickled egg.
37:55What are you?
37:56Oh, chips and a battered sausage.
37:58You love your sausage.
38:00I do.
38:01And a bit of curry sauce to dip it in.
38:03You.
38:07I've got another question.
38:08Really?
38:09What do you drink with fish and chips?
38:11Dandelion and burdock.
38:12Yes!
38:13Water.
38:14You drink water?
38:15Yeah, because there's enough going on.
38:16Also, you know, I like to make the fish feel at home.
38:19Yeah, I go lemonade or a cup of tea.
38:22Ooh!
38:23Cup of tea?
38:24Nah, nah.
38:25Get Phil back.
38:26Get Phil back.
38:27Because he wouldn't drink tea.
38:28No, he wouldn't.
38:29He wouldn't.
38:30Get Phil back on.
38:31Really?
38:32Love a cup of tea with fish and chips.
38:33You know what's nice with fish and chips?
38:34A Malbec.
38:35A Malbec with fish and chips?
38:37Is that wine?
38:38Well, I think it is.
38:39You don't fucking drink wine?
38:41Malbec wine with fish and chips?
38:43Unless you're an alcoholic.
38:45Well, unless you're a twat.
38:47Very nice.
38:48What do you drink at home?
38:49Just send that in to us so that we know.
38:51Yeah.
38:52Let them know, Kelly.
38:53Let them know.
38:54Who's messaging this morning to tell them what drink they have with a chippy tea?
38:57Fucking hell.
38:58More people than you think.
39:00Oh, hang on one second.
39:01I'm just going to message this morning.
39:02I must let Alison and Dermot know.
39:03I have a glass of water send.
39:05Some of your lovely goujons with your vodka tonic.
39:08How are we going to get our mouth round?
39:09Well.
39:11Well.
39:12I'm glad someone said it, Alison.
39:13That's too big for my mouth.
39:14Yeah, you can't open your mouth very wide, so that's not going in.
39:17Can't do it.
39:18Guys, I cannot eat that sandwich.
39:19Look at the size of that.
39:20That is a big sandwich.
39:22Go on.
39:23Go on.
39:24I would be like, you've got to go to break because things are about to get real freaky
39:27this sandwich.
39:28Honestly.
39:29Yeah, yeah.
39:30You would not want to come back to me.
39:31You come back from break and I'll be on the sofa going.
39:35In Birmingham.
39:36Do you know what I've got?
39:37What?
39:38What have you got?
39:39It's been so hot recently.
39:40How's that?
39:41I've got this at home that I use.
39:43What is that?
39:44For fans, look.
39:45Alison, her son Aidan and her sister Sandra.
39:48Oh, you put them round your neck.
39:49You can put, but this one.
39:51That one's huge.
39:52Look at the size of it.
39:53Yeah, but look, it twists.
39:54It's really, really good.
39:55Look.
39:56You can have it anywhere.
39:57And at night, you know when you can't see?
39:59Yeah.
40:01Turn it on.
40:03Feel that.
40:04You can have one up there.
40:05And then...
40:06I need that.
40:08Where's the other one?
40:09Well, look.
40:10Wherever you want it.
40:13Over the summer, Channel 4 turned up the heat with another toe-curling trip to the
40:18open house.
40:20What are we watching now?
40:21Sex.
40:22Come on.
40:23I'm so excited for this.
40:24Sexy time.
40:25Come on.
40:26It's basically loads of up for it people go to a house and bang.
40:32Nice house.
40:33It's a great house.
40:34If you're going to have sex in a house, go there.
40:35Do it in that one.
40:36How are you with sex?
40:37Well, I'm...
40:38Do you like it?
40:39I think I'm rather splendid at it.
40:40In my own opinion.
40:41I mean, it's brief, but it's enjoyable.
40:43That's all you need.
40:44Heading to the retreat are married couple, hairdresser Tanya and window cleaner Ashley from Leeds.
40:50Okay.
40:51All right.
40:52Classic.
40:53Window cleaner.
40:55Window cleaner.
40:56Tanya brought up the idea of an open relationship and letting other women join us, which was a bit of a shock at first.
41:06I didn't know if it was like a trap.
41:09He goes like, tread carefully, boy.
41:11He's like, no.
41:12I would never do that.
41:15I couldn't.
41:17I mean, if it's going to make you happy.
41:21Tanya and Ashley have been having sex with other people for five years.
41:26Oh.
41:27I see.
41:28How do they get in?
41:29Have you got underwear that looks like that?
41:30Is that underwear?
41:31I think so.
41:32Okay.
41:33I have a lot of ribbons, so I could probably make that out of my art and crafts drawer.
41:37So we're coming in to venture off our own separate ways to have sex separately from each other.
41:42Oh, right.
41:43So now, having done everything together, now it's doing it apart.
41:47It's so dangerous, this game, isn't it?
41:49I would be so nervous right now, would you?
41:51Yeah.
41:52So obviously there's always a worry about rejection, but I'm hoping that that doesn't actually happen.
41:57Oh, Tanya finds someone.
41:58She sort of goes off and I just sit in the room, clock watching, waiting to come back.
42:02It'll be pretty horrible.
42:04Oh, nice.
42:05He's struggling and I feel sorry for him already.
42:07I'm worried he's going to be sat there with a word search and a cup of cocoa while she's off having, you know.
42:14The time of her life.
42:15Yeah.
42:17Where are you going?
42:18Have fun.
42:19See you soon.
42:20See you soon.
42:21God, are you going?
42:22Go on.
42:23Are you going?
42:24Go on.
42:25Off you go.
42:26Let Mummy have some fun.
42:27This is going to work out quite badly, I think.
42:28Right.
42:29See you back here in half an hour.
42:30Yeah.
42:31Or not.
42:32Or not.
42:33I'm Olivia.
42:34It's lovely to meet you.
42:35Is Tanya like your comfort blanket?
42:36Yep.
42:37Yeah.
42:38It's not very sexy though, is it?
42:39That, the nervousness thing.
42:40No.
42:41I mean, it's relatable and I'm definitely that person, but if you're looking to go upstairs to the
42:44West Wing and get banged, you're not going to be looking to him, are you?
42:47No.
42:48My husband too, he's in there and I'm like, where is he?
42:52Oh, so her husband's in there and talking to his wife.
42:56Right.
42:57Is this you asking me back, is it?
42:59Potentially.
43:00Yeah, I'm interested.
43:01I'm definitely interested.
43:02Yeah, I'm definitely interested.
43:03You're not going to reject.
43:04I'm not going to reject you, no.
43:05Because if you do, honestly, I'll hunt you down.
43:06No, no, no.
43:09Oh, look at him.
43:10Yeah.
43:11I want to go and give Ashley a hug.
43:12Now, that may be misinterpreted within that environment.
43:15In the context.
43:16See you soon.
43:17Oh, my God.
43:18Oh, my God.
43:19Oh, my God.
43:20See you soon.
43:21Oh, God.
43:22Oh, listen.
43:23Each to their own, but he clearly ain't into this.
43:25You all right?
43:26Yeah, I'm good.
43:27It's gone all really quiet.
43:29Oh, she's sweet.
43:30She's sweet.
43:31So, this is the bloke's wife.
43:32Oh.
43:33Plot twist.
43:34Mmm.
43:35Oh.
43:36Prosecco's nice.
43:37That was his chat.
43:38Prosecco's nice.
43:39Yeah, I wonder if you wanted to go spend a bit more time together?
43:46Yeah.
43:47I would like to get to know you more.
43:48Yeah?
43:49Yeah.
43:50Come on, Ash.
43:51Come on, Ash.
43:52Do the best.
43:53Take your my shoes off.
43:54Yeah, take your shoes off.
43:55Let's get comfortable.
43:56There's cameras.
43:57Mummy, there's cameras everywhere.
43:58Are we going to...
43:59We're not.
44:00We're not.
44:01Are we...
44:02We're not.
44:03Are they going to...
44:04Do you want to have fun?
44:05We can go to the yurt, if the yurt's available.
44:07The yurt.
44:08Oh.
44:09What is a yurt?
44:10I think it's like a...
44:11I thought it's where you milked goats.
44:13Oh, that's nice.
44:15Oh, it's a nice yurt.
44:16Yeah.
44:17It's a sort of glamping, I dig.
44:18You've got, like, Peter Stringfellow's bedroom or we've gone camping.
44:21Yeah.
44:22You are good?
44:23Yep.
44:24Oh, Ash.
44:25It's unbearable.
44:26I can't bear this.
44:27Meanwhile...
44:28Oh, no, it's a bit near the mark now, isn't it?
44:29Oh, no, it's a bit near the mark now, isn't it?
44:30Oh, no, it's a bit near the mark now, isn't it?
44:31Oh, no, it's a bit near the mark now, isn't it?
44:35Oh, no, it's a bit near the mark now, isn't it?
44:36No!
44:37What?
44:38Oh, no, it's a bit near the mark now, isn't it?
44:41Oh, no, it's a bit near the mark now, isn't it?
44:58No!
44:59Whoa! What?!
45:01Please!
45:03No! Whoa!
45:07She's twerking.
45:09Where's our guy?
45:11Come on, man!
45:13I swear, if we go back to this year
45:15and they're just eating pond beers and having a chat,
45:17I'm not going to be happy. It better be a mess in there.
45:19It better be.
45:21It better be. She can't be doing our guy like that, man.
45:23Do you have pineapple pizza?
45:25No!
45:27No, no pineapple pizza. Do you have pineapple on your pizza?
45:29Pineapple pizza!
45:31LAUGHTER
45:33Uh-oh.
45:35Ash.
45:37Shall we get this awkwardness out of the way?
45:39Because this is making me cringey!
45:41Yeah, yeah, yeah.
45:43Oh, it's dripping off.
45:45Just take it off.
45:47Have it.
45:49Come on, Ash. Oh, we're not going to see some awkward sex now.
45:51Come on, stuff her crust.
45:53Oh, good luck to them both.
45:59It's a happy ending. Yeah.
46:01In more ways than one.
46:03Mm, very much so.
46:05Always great to watch with your sister.
46:07A new perfect world.
46:09On the hunt for the big guy, Lenny Rush is even roping in Stephen Fry.
46:14Magic and heartwarming drama.
46:16Finding Father Christmas.
46:18Perfectly placed this Christmas Eve at 7.30.
46:20The winners from series 16 to 20,
46:22which include Maisie Adam, Matthew Bainton and Sam Campbell.
46:26All come together for Taskmaster Champion of Champions,
46:292025 this Monday at 9.
46:31Up next, the last leg.
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