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00:00After being left out of the college football playoff,
00:11Notre Dame announced they would not participate in any bowl games.
00:15Hey, it's a Catholic university.
00:17It makes sense that they would pull out early.
00:19Boom!
00:20Hey!
00:21Yeah!
00:27Our theme song gets better and better.
00:30Welcome to Good Sports, the only sports show that mixes sports and comedy like the Raiders.
00:36I am Kevin Hart.
00:38Snap.
00:39I'm Kenan Thompson.
00:40Tonight we've got a great show.
00:41We're going to be joined by the legendary Candace Parker and the great Sebastian Maniscalco.
00:46Yes, please.
00:47Now, before we get into it, I want to thank everyone for making us the number one show on Amazon Prime.
00:52Let's go!
00:53Yes.
00:54Let's go!
00:55Big deal!
00:56Number one.
00:57Right.
00:58And unlike Ohio State, we ain't giving up.
01:00Wow.
01:01Yeah.
01:02Seemed like they gave up.
01:03No, they did give up.
01:04Yeah, they gave up a little bit.
01:05Took their foot off the gas.
01:06Yeah, right off the gas.
01:07Let it go.
01:08This week, we're stepping out the gate.
01:11Over the weekend, Inter-Miami won the MLS Cup against the Vancouver Whitecaps.
01:18No caps.
01:19Nice.
01:20Yeah, the game was not nearly as exciting as the celebration that followed.
01:23Cue the confetti!
01:24Oh, my goodness.
01:25Look at that.
01:26Look at that.
01:27Yeah.
01:28Wow.
01:29Oh, my God.
01:30Yeah.
01:31Oh, wow.
01:32It's not too much.
01:33You know that stadium janitor is watching it like, these motherfuckers.
01:36These selfish motherfuckers.
01:38Motherfuckers.
01:39I mean, one is enough, enough.
01:42Cut it off.
01:43Cut it off.
01:44Yeah, yo.
01:45If they had another camera that could cut to the janitor, he on the side like, no.
01:52It was snowing in Buffalo this weekend, and Jordan Phillips, well, he was not messing around.
01:57That's right.
01:58I'm gonna wear my coat.
01:59Yeah, that's right.
02:00I don't know.
02:01You know how much I paid for this coat?
02:02I don't know what y'all talking about, by the way.
02:05Y'all gonna get frostbite out here.
02:06That's what's gonna happen.
02:07Okay?
02:08You see how big the coat was on his uniform?
02:10He's like, fuck it.
02:11I ain't catching no coat.
02:12No, no, no.
02:13That there is the sign of a player whose mother was hard on him.
02:17Yeah.
02:18Like, there's some players that definitely grew up in that household where your mom made you bundle up.
02:23Jacob?
02:24Yeah.
02:27You got your coat zipped?
02:29I don't wanna zip my coat up.
02:30I ain't zipping up this coat tonight, ma.
02:32Zip!
02:34Before I come down there and zip it on ya for ya.
02:38Jacob!
02:42You better put that goddamn coat on and put that goddamn coat up before I come down there.
02:45It's one of those.
02:46That's one of them.
02:47You better put that goddamn coat on before I come down there and step on your goddamn coat.
02:51Yeah.
02:52For the, uh, for the white people in our audience, that's the way that your black mother talked to you when it was cold.
02:58When she's done playing.
02:59Yeah, she's not playing.
03:00You better goddamn put that goddamn coat on before I come down there and goddamn take your hand off.
03:06You understood. Every word is a killing, too.
03:07Absolutely.
03:08Every word.
03:09It's not a joke.
03:10Yeah.
03:11Now, in the world of what the F am I watching, Walt Frazier sat down for a captivating interview with the Rizla.
03:16This is how you do the wrist face.
03:17So, put one eyebrow down like this and then you raise one up.
03:21And then you shake it like this.
03:23Then you do this.
03:25And that's how you do the wrist face.
03:27Did that happen just instinctively?
03:28No.
03:29Why would they do that?
03:30Walt Frazier's 108 years old.
03:31Why would they make him talk to you?
03:32Why would they sit down with a kid?
03:34I got real fucking tears in my eyes.
03:36Because y'all don't understand how shows work.
03:37Like, there was a meeting that morning.
03:38And somebody stood up at that meeting and was like, guess who I booked for the show today?
03:43Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
03:44I got the, I got the Rizla.
03:45He's going to do it.
03:46And people are like, are you serious?
03:47Is he going to do it?
03:48And Walt's in the back like, who the fuck is Rizla?
03:49I got real fucking tears in my eyes.
03:50I got real fucking tears in my eyes.
03:53Because y'all don't understand how shows work.
03:55Like, there was a meeting that morning.
03:57And somebody stood up at that meeting and was like, guess who I booked for the show today?
04:03Wait, wait, wait.
04:05I got the, I got the Rizla.
04:07He's going to do it.
04:09And people are like, are you serious?
04:11Is he going to do it?
04:12Is he going to do it?
04:13And Walt's in the back like, who the fuck is Rizla?
04:15Oh, my God.
04:16Oh, my God.
04:17Oh, my God.
04:18Oh, my God.
04:19Oh, my God.
04:20Oh, my God.
04:21Oh, my God.
04:22Okay.
04:23All right, let's keep it going.
04:24You know, after the loss to the Chargers last night, the Eagles could really use some juice.
04:28Thank God they got Devontae Smith.
04:30So, you know what's interesting?
04:32I bought me a juicer, and I've been squeezing oranges, apples, and pineapples for the past
04:42four days.
04:43And let me tell you something.
04:45It's amazing.
04:46Yeah.
04:47How about we ask the important question?
04:50How the fuck do you squeeze an apple?
04:52I don't know.
04:53How are you squeezing an apple?
04:55I ain't never seen it.
04:56It doesn't happen, Kenan.
04:57I've never seen it.
04:58I mean, next you're going to be selling what, Slap Chop?
05:01I don't know, Kenan.
05:02I don't know.
05:03As an Eagles fan, we wonder why we're losing, and then I hear an interview like this.
05:08You know what I've been doing?
05:10I've been squeezing juices, pineapples.
05:12Is anybody else in here juicing?
05:13Because let me tell you what I just discovered.
05:15I've been juicing for the last five days.
05:17You know what?
05:18I like it.
05:19I'm blown away by it.
05:20I'm blown away by the process.
05:21You take a fruit and squeeze it, and the juice come out.
05:25It's amazing.
05:27I love my team, though.
05:28Just wait until he finds out about air fryers, man.
05:29His head is going to explode.
05:30You ain't going to believe this.
05:31What?
05:32Well, what is it?
05:33What is it?
05:34So I'm frying shit, but without putting it in grease.
05:35I'll get the gut done.
05:36Yeah, no, no.
05:37No grease.
05:38Hell no.
05:39No grease.
05:40Hell no.
05:41I ain't use grease in five days.
05:42That ain't even...
05:43Hell no.
05:44Fry equals fry.
05:45Yeah, yeah.
05:46Yeah, yeah.
05:47Yeah.
05:48Yeah, yeah.
05:49Yeah.
05:50No, no.
05:51No grease.
05:52No grease.
05:53Hell no.
05:54I ain't use grease in five days.
05:55That ain't even...
05:56Hell no.
05:57Fry equals fry.
05:58Yeah.
05:59Yeah.
06:00The Atlanta Hawks Jalen Johnson is a bad man with a good dad, who may be his biggest fan.
06:05Check him out, courtside.
06:06Yeah.
06:07Yeah.
06:08I keep telling you all.
06:09See that?
06:10Yeah, that's my shit.
06:11My, my boy.
06:12You know, he dresses like a 1990s Spike Lee.
06:14Did you realize that?
06:15That's the best version of Spike.
06:16You know who else dresses like 1990s Spike Lee?
06:192025 Spike Lee.
06:20Hasn't really changed.
06:23Hasn't really changed.
06:26Oh, no to it.
06:27Staying true to the look.
06:28Yeah, yeah, good.
06:30Committed.
06:31Really committed.
06:32I'll be honest, I'm still having some issues
06:34with the Eagles losing last night.
06:36I have not recovered.
06:38Well, it is important to stay positive,
06:40which is why the Eagles put a giant inflatable
06:42positivity rabbit in their locker room.
06:44After last night's game,
06:45somebody should do a wellness check on that bunny.
06:47You're probably feeling a little deflated.
06:49Shut up, Keelah.
06:50Wait, is this the bunny doing a halftime show?
06:52No.
06:53That's a different bunny.
06:55Wait, wait, hold on a second.
06:56I'm getting word right now.
06:58We have the Philly positivity rabbit
07:01here with us in the studio.
07:02Where is it?
07:04That ain't no damn...
07:05Oh, come on, that's not no damn Easter bunny.
07:07What is that?
07:08That's a Christmas yak.
07:09You better get your yak ass out of here.
07:11Get out of here.
07:12You yak ass, get out of here.
07:14Get your yak ass.
07:15Get.
07:20There ain't no damn games around here, man.
07:23Desmond Bain can score from anywhere.
07:25Get your yak ass out of here.
07:27You heard what we said.
07:28You better get.
07:34Desmond Bain.
07:35Desmond Bain.
07:41Yaks, dog.
07:44All right, Giants breakout star Cam Scadaboo
07:46got injured against the Eagles in October.
07:48No doubt he's been taking it easy
07:50so he can recover quickly.
07:51Yes, he's super talented, and we are all rooting for him so much that we've been tracking Cam's progress with our Cam Scadaboo Cam.
08:01Yeah, it's like a nanny cam for Cam Scadaboo.
08:04Yeah, it's like a Cam Cam.
08:06Yeah, we've been getting a lot of notifications recently.
08:09I don't know if this one is from his physical therapy or his normal therapy.
08:13Chat, I got a twin right here.
08:15I scratched my chin with this.
08:18Good.
08:19Oh, wow.
08:20Yeah, it looked like a thumb was on his goddamn shoulder.
08:25Did you see it?
08:25Thumbs up.
08:26Somebody's up in his back.
08:28That's not something that you can just show somebody and be like, oh, yeah, look, I got this thing.
08:35Yeah, you got to announce that.
08:37You got to really give a presentation.
08:39Let's just fade out how it really would be.
08:40Like if I had that?
08:41Yeah, yeah.
08:42Hey, look, man, I'm about to take my shirt off, but before I do, I got a little person on my neck.
08:49That's fine.
08:50That's fine.
08:51I'm totally prepared for that.
08:52I'm not going to freak out if I see it.
08:53Okay, I just want to make sure you don't.
08:54Yeah, yeah.
08:55I'm ready.
08:55Yeah, because it's going to look weird, man.
08:57Sure.
08:57But it's not.
08:58Give me a countdown.
08:59Okay.
08:59All right, I'm just letting you know, it's going to look weird, though.
09:02I'm ready for it.
09:03You sure?
09:04I'm going to be normal.
09:04All right.
09:05Okay, man.
09:05I'm just going to take it off.
09:06Okay?
09:07Okay.
09:07Here it comes, man.
09:08I'm just going to show you just...
09:09Get the fuck out of here!
09:13I know.
09:13That's probably more realistic how it will do.
09:16Yeah.
09:16All right.
09:17Well, we got to take a break.
09:18We will be right back after this.
09:20Right back.
09:21More.
09:22Gotta go.
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10:29Our first guest is one of the greatest WNBA players of all time.
10:33That's right, you heard me.
10:34All time.
10:35She's a two-time MVP, two-time Olympic gold medalist, and an analyst for NBA on Prime.
10:40Check out just a few of her best moments.
10:43Rebound tipped out.
10:43Parker on the run.
10:45We're going to get a dunk here.
10:46Yes!
10:47She did it!
10:48She did it with 29.5 seconds left.
10:52Candice Parker saves the game.
10:54And that's what superstars do.
10:59Candice Parker is possessed tonight.
11:01By one.
11:03By one.
11:04Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Candice Parker.
11:08Thanks for having me.
11:09Thanks for having me.
11:10You didn't make enough noise on that dunk on a fast break.
11:13I didn't make enough noise?
11:14No, I feel like that's a moment.
11:15What should I?
11:15What should I?
11:16That's just a moment.
11:17I don't think you...
11:17Ah!
11:18Ah!
11:19Okay, my fault.
11:20Yeah, bitch!
11:21Somebody, somebody.
11:23Somebody should have called one of those.
11:24Somebody got to catch that.
11:25Something?
11:25Yeah, man.
11:26Right?
11:26Every time, I would say.
11:28Yeah, bitch!
11:29Yeah, one time.
11:30I like that.
11:31One time.
11:31Yeah, I like that.
11:32Now, Candice, before we get into it, I got to ask you about this right here.
11:37You know, yeah.
11:38Yeah.
11:39Are you calming Kevin's head like a basketball?
11:41Yeah.
11:42I mean, listen, Kevin was telling me how much of an athlete he was at that point in time,
11:46so I had to let him know there's levels to this, you know?
11:50Oh, that's a measuring.
11:51I got a question.
11:51Like, honestly, with this production, like, what the fuck are we doing?
11:56Like, where do y'all get these pictures, and I, I, how am I last to know?
12:00Like, I don't even know that that exists.
12:02I think, I think we should send an email.
12:04No, I thought I got rid of that footage when she did it.
12:06I tried my best to get rid of that footage.
12:08No, it exists.
12:09Who are the frontrunners for next year's WNBA draft?
12:11Dallas wins.
12:12They got the first overall pick, right?
12:14Yes.
12:14So who do they pick?
12:14I think you go see either Olivia Miles or AZ Fudd.
12:18We'll see.
12:19I don't know.
12:19It depends on what the franchise.
12:21Who would you take?
12:21If you were that franchise, you had the option.
12:23Oh, you put me on the spot.
12:25Well, yeah, that's how I draft.
12:26This is what we're doing?
12:27Yeah.
12:27This is, this is how we're going to just.
12:28This is what I want.
12:29I want to put you in the hot seat.
12:30Wow.
12:31Who would you take?
12:31Just in the hot seat.
12:32You want to palm my damn head.
12:33Just in the hot seat.
12:34I want to give you a tough question.
12:36It's a get back.
12:37Yeah.
12:38Well, Paige Beckers is playing the one.
12:40So I think you need a shooting guard.
12:42So I would take AZ Fudd personnel wise.
12:44But Olivia Miles, she's tough.
12:47Very tough.
12:48Why do you think today's rookies are better prepared to play in the league than before?
12:53Well, first, I mean, I didn't have NIL money.
12:55Okay.
12:56And so now players are coming in as a business.
12:59And they're coming in with agents.
13:01They're coming in with trainers.
13:02They're coming in prepared.
13:03Like now I'm looking at my son.
13:05Yo, you're going to be a lawyer or a doctor.
13:07Now I'm like, nah, bruh.
13:08Like, you're going to be an athlete.
13:10Yeah, yeah.
13:10Like, you're going to be, you're going to be 6'9", 6'10".
13:14Right.
13:14Like, you're going to play sports.
13:15I'm sorry.
13:16How old is he?
13:16He is three and a half.
13:18Oh, yeah.
13:19Yeah.
13:19Yeah.
13:20That makes sense.
13:21Yeah.
13:22Who's better for the league?
13:23Caitlin Clark or the Stud Buds?
13:25I think they both have their place.
13:31Honestly, Caitlin, what she's done for women's basketball in general, just the way she plays
13:36and she's backed up everything that the hype has been.
13:40Stud Buds, I think, came onto the scene and really introduced the world to the WNBA, which
13:45was a lot of fun.
13:46Just live streaming for 24 hours straight.
13:49At WNBA, All-Star was crazy, but I think that they have done a great job of promoting,
13:55like, the league in terms of just our brands, who we are, individual stories, and all of
14:00those things.
14:01Everybody's responding, right?
14:02Those that have the opportunity to really take the floor and show their talent, show the
14:07high level of competitiveness, I think they've done that.
14:10But the game is so much more exciting now.
14:12It's because of the competition that has been put at the forefront.
14:15To see progression and continue to see it, I think it's a really dope thing.
14:18No, it is, for sure.
14:20Couldn't have said it better myself, Kevin.
14:22Okay, we heard your daughter's quite the volleyball prospect.
14:25What kind of sports parent are you?
14:27I would say I'm a little Kevin Garnett.
14:30Okay.
14:30I'm not one of those parents that's just like, I'm gonna just let my kid take their path
14:34and I'm not gonna say anything.
14:36No, I was never coached like that.
14:38I didn't grow up in a household like that.
14:40Like, my dad was literally, like, we used to call him Joe Jackson, because...
14:43Oh, wow.
14:44That's how it was.
14:45That's quite the nickname.
14:46I'm telling you.
14:47Like, we used to call him Joe Jackson of Basketball, because if we were working out
14:50and we were at a park and he didn't think we were working hard enough, he would just
14:54get in the car and leave and be like, you have 10 minutes till you get home.
14:56Wow.
14:57Running home.
14:58Wow.
14:58So I'm a product of my environment.
15:00Yes.
15:00I think this is a good time just to say, are you okay?
15:03Like, why don't we just...
15:04I just like...
15:05Nobody's ever asked me that.
15:06Yeah, okay.
15:07I was gonna say it sounds pretty traumatic.
15:08Yeah.
15:09But I'm, you know...
15:09But I mean, you know, like, won two gold medals and things like that, so I guess...
15:13It worked.
15:14Yeah, you got the sacrifice.
15:14I guess it worked, but...
15:16Come on, the Jacksons made it.
15:17Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
15:18Like...
15:19They made it.
15:19They were successful.
15:20Right, yeah.
15:20They were successful.
15:21They had sore asses.
15:23Yeah, yeah.
15:23But they made it, right?
15:24You made it.
15:25Yeah, yeah, no, I get it.
15:27Since you played in Chicago, do you put ketchup on your hot dog?
15:32Okay.
15:34I'm a jumbo chili cheese dog type of hot dog person, so you can't put ketchup on a jumbo
15:40chili cheese dog.
15:41Okay.
15:41Like, our hot dogs and our pizza are the best.
15:44I don't care what New Yorkers say.
15:45I don't care about Philly cheesesteaks.
15:47What is happening here?
15:51She's not nice, man.
15:52You put ketchup on your hot dog?
15:54Yeah.
15:54I'm not the biggest ketchup fan, so I'm a mustard guy.
15:58Okay, so you put mustard on your hot dog?
16:00Yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:01When did you change?
16:02High five for mustard, huh?
16:03Yeah, all right.
16:03When did this happen?
16:04I thought that we were on the same train.
16:05What, you put ketchup on?
16:07Yeah, I put ketchup on a hot dog.
16:08Good.
16:09That's nice for you.
16:09Okay, okay, whatever.
16:11We're going to play a game.
16:12We're going to play a game.
16:13This is a game that we like to call garbage time, all right?
16:15In this game, this is where we put one minute, one minute on the clock, and you got to answer
16:19as many questions as fast as you can, okay?
16:22All right.
16:22All these questions.
16:24All these questions are WNBA-based.
16:26Uh-oh.
16:26All right, you ready?
16:28Okay.
16:28All right, let's start the clock.
16:30Let's go.
16:31Okay, best uniform?
16:33L.A. Sparks.
16:34Worst uniform?
16:35Connecticut Sun.
16:37Okay, best current all-around player?
16:39Uh, all-around player?
16:43Brianna Stewart.
16:43Okay, you, Chuck Kenny, shooting contest.
16:46Who wins?
16:47You said me, Chuck, Kenny.
16:49You didn't include Shaq.
16:50That's crazy.
16:51I didn't.
16:51We know.
16:52Why would you include Shaq?
16:53I'll say me.
16:53Yeah, exactly.
16:54Why would Shaq be in that?
16:56Okay, name your favorite WNBA analyst.
16:59My favorite WNBA analyst is LaChina Robinson.
17:04Uh-huh.
17:05What you wish?
17:05Better three-point shooter, Curry or Yonescu?
17:09Steph.
17:09Oh, I like the honesty there.
17:11Yeah, gotta be honest.
17:13A follow-up.
17:14Uh, spell Yonescu.
17:18I don't know.
17:20Yeah, I can't spell that.
17:21I went to Tennessee, so.
17:22Good, good.
17:23That's good.
17:23That's good, that's pretty good.
17:24Uh, you're on your own team.
17:25What is the name?
17:27Uh, Tennessee Summit.
17:30Did she get it?
17:31Did she get it?
17:35Well, ladies and gentlemen, this is Candace Parker.
17:37She is a champion and MVP and a legend on and off the court.
17:40Thank you so much for coming in.
17:42We appreciate it.
17:42Appreciate it.
17:43We love you.
17:43We appreciate you.
17:44To the best.
17:46How easy is that?
17:47This week in sports history,
17:50Arthur Ashe becomes the first black tennis player
17:53to be ranked number one in the world,
17:55forcing Wimbledon to change their all-white policy
17:58to apply to only clothing.
18:00That was this week in sports history.
18:07For 19 years, LeBron James has scored at least 10 points
18:11in every single game that he has played
18:13until last week when he did this.
18:20Right.
18:20Mm-hmm.
18:21Gave the assist.
18:22Mm-hmm.
18:23Gave the assist for the W.
18:24Mm-hmm.
18:25He dissed it to Rui for the greater good.
18:28That's called teamwork.
18:29That's teamwork.
18:30Teamwork.
18:30Yep.
18:30You know, teamwork is what it's about.
18:33Yes.
18:33Right?
18:33Without teamwork, we got nothing.
18:35That's right.
18:36Without your team, you're an individual.
18:39That's right.
18:39Individuals don't win games.
18:41You gotta have a team.
18:41Teams do.
18:42Do it together.
18:42So in this case, I want to celebrate you, LeBron,
18:45for being exactly that.
18:46The definition of a team.
18:47You know.
18:48And not the definition of an I.
18:49Yeah.
18:50Because I will never get it done.
18:51Two people will try to get it done.
18:52Teams will.
18:54And that's what makes you a champion.
18:56Yeah, I would love to jump in.
18:56That's what makes you, Kenan, can you give me a second, please?
18:58Yeah, okay.
18:59Just give me a second.
18:59That's what makes you different.
19:01And me and you, we share the same synergy and energy
19:04when it comes to understanding the concept of team.
19:07I got a couple things to say.
19:08Which is why on this day, I celebrate you.
19:10Kenan, if I'm trying to get it out, you can't.
19:11I hear you.
19:12You can't do that.
19:13Because right now, you cutting me off,
19:14and I can't get the whole message out.
19:16So do me a favor, just take a second.
19:17Yes.
19:18Let me have this moment for us.
19:20I was just trying to say teamwork.
19:21So Kenan, I can't do it.
19:22If you keep talking, I can't do it.
19:23Right.
19:24There's no way I can get it out if you keep talking.
19:26So I just want to say, LeBron, continue to soar
19:30at the levels of birds that we'll never see.
19:33Because just like you, I have wings.
19:35And I'll fly too.
19:36Because we share the same energy towards teamwork.
19:40That's right.
19:42Kenan, can you stop making this about you?
19:43No, I'm not.
19:44Is it about you?
19:45Is this about you, or is it about Brian?
19:47I'm trying to give LeBron the trophy.
19:48Well, you're trying to be selfish in the moment
19:51where I'm trying to talk about us.
19:52Right.
19:53So what are we doing here?
19:56No, I was, yeah.
19:57OK.
19:59I'm done.
20:00Are you done?
20:00No.
20:01Selfish.
20:02But I guess let's give Kenan his moment.
20:04Go ahead.
20:04Cool.
20:05Here it is.
20:05You got something you want to say?
20:06Say it.
20:08Good job, LeBron.
20:18Phenomenal first half for Kenan and Kevin.
20:21Both guys really on their game.
20:22Well, I love how they handled the Candace Parker interview.
20:24They laid back early and then they hit her hard with rapid fire questions at the end.
20:29Well, they played a zone defense, which is the right call there.
20:31Well, you can't play man to man because she is a woman.
20:35Now, let's get into the stats, Randy.
20:36I want to take a look at the number of punch lines landed in the first half.
20:40Kenan 12 for 13.
20:41Nearly perfect.
20:42Couple of cackles, few unexpected guffaws.
20:44And I heard one, y'all crazy.
20:46You did not.
20:47I did hear that, yes.
20:48Incredibly efficient half for him.
20:49And let's be honest, he needed to be that sharp.
20:51Well, that's been a point of emphasis in rehearsal all week.
20:54Were they at rehearsals all week?
20:56Either way, we expected Kevin to dominate the time of discussion.
21:02And guess what?
21:03That's what he did.
21:04Let's take a look at the insights, all right?
21:05Keenan with the slight edge, three to two in the first half.
21:08I'm not worried about Kevin.
21:09He is a second half host.
21:10He is going to finish strong.
21:11Well, with that in mind, let's look ahead to the second half.
21:14What are you expecting with that interview with Sebastian?
21:17I had it circled on my calendar for months now.
21:19Well, we know he can be a little, he can be a little cagey, Sebastian.
21:25They gotta score early.
21:26That's right.
21:27First few jokes in the second half, they're going to be crucial.
21:29Tone setters, some bangers sprinkled in.
21:32I just hope they both stay out of the blue tent.
21:34Trick, please.
21:35It's lining up to be an epic finish,
21:37as we will now send you back out to the studio for the second half.
21:40All right, our next guest is one of the biggest touring stand-up comics in the game right now.
21:48The New York Times called him the hottest comic in America.
21:55What are you doing? Why are you looking at me like that?
21:58Just looking?
21:59Last year, he shattered the record for the highest attendance at a comedy show at the Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia.
22:06Why are you looking at me like that?
22:11Nothing, man. Never mind.
22:12Why do you keep doing that? I don't understand what you're doing.
22:14I'm proud of him.
22:16Good. You should be.
22:18I am. I don't know why you're, like, that's weird what you're doing,
22:21because it's like, I got an issue. I don't have an issue.
22:23His seventh stand-up special, It Ain't Right, recently premiered in the number one spot on Hulu.
22:34Do we need to take a break?
22:35Do we need to take a break?
22:36Please welcome Sebastian Maniscalco!
22:41Goodness gracious.
22:42Yeah, what's up, sir?
22:44Trying to cause a little rivalry. I see what you're doing. I see right through it.
22:48You see what he's doing?
22:49I'm just trying to investigate a little bit.
22:51That's my guy, right? That's my guy. Like, we're friends.
22:54And you should be.
22:55Sebastian, we know that you are a die-hard Chicago sports fan.
22:59How are you feeling about the Bears this season?
23:01Well, we lost Green Bay, which I'm a little nervous about.
23:05Chicago Bears fans don't really get excited about March since 85.
23:10So I'm looking right now, they might not even make the playoffs, all right?
23:16They could literally lose every game, including next week at Cleveland.
23:21I'm a little nervous, to be honest with you.
23:22That's trauma.
23:23That's trauma. That's trauma.
23:25I mean, talk about a fan going dark. Did you see that just now?
23:29Yeah. Now, you support both the White Sox and the Cubs. Make up your mind, man.
23:35Come on, even the Pope picked a side now.
23:37I like the White Sox. I grew up with the White Sox. But when the Cubs won the World Series,
23:43I wasn't mad at the Cubs. I'm not one of these nut fans out there that like, oh,
23:48if one team wins and the other team loses, if everybody's winning in Chicago, I'm happy.
23:54So I like the White Sox. I just feel the White Sox for me, south side, although I grew up in the
24:00northwest suburbs of Chicago, I always gravitated towards the Sox. I just looked at the Cubs as like
24:05a week or two. Like the Cubs fans wear sandals. Got it. Not into that. Got it.
24:13Enough sandals. Got it. Got it. Okay. Chicago guy. This is an ongoing conversation that we're having.
24:19Ketchup on your hot dog. Yes or no? No, it's just mustard all the way. I mean,
24:24again, I'm not so much of a guy in a goal. You can't have it. But it's mustard, relish, pickles,
24:31onions. There's a lot going on in a Chicago hot dog, and ketchup is a sin. Have I had ketchup
24:37on my hot dog? Yes, by accident. But it's not something that is generally approved in the Chicago
24:46area. Wow. Why? That is a great question. Nobody ever told me why we weren't doing that. It's just
24:53you're born in Chicago, and on the birth certificate, it says no ketchup on that. Yeah, it's unbelievable.
24:59Got it. All right. What sports did you play growing up? Well, I was an unbelievable soccer
25:04player growing up. I had a beautiful mullet. I was a right winger, and when I ran, the mullet
25:13was just blowing in the wind, particularly when I went up for a header. I did the header,
25:19and the hair just twisted around my head. It was a beautiful sight to see. Oh, yeah. Oh,
25:25just in general. Yeah, that's good hair. This is young mullet, though. We're not even into the
25:31mullet. We're starting to grow it here. Two or three years, it was down to mid-back. Yeah. This
25:37picture is very close to being R-rated. Yeah, a little bit. It just looks like you're one slip from
25:41a ball falling out. I don't like these shorts. Sebastian, there's a lot of thigh on those shorts.
25:46Hey, this is the 80s, bro. You know, we all know the 80s basketball players had short shorts,
25:52soccer players. Yeah. It was the thing. I still wear a short short every now and again. Okay.
25:58Yeah, but not that short. You don't go that short. No, no. That's a little too short. That's aggressive.
26:04Okay, Sebastian, your kids play sports. Have you ever gotten into it with another parent?
26:08Here's something I don't like. I was recently on the sidelines with my son's soccer team,
26:13and I brought donuts for my side, and I noticed other families from the other team
26:22were coming over taking my donuts. Now, I don't know if this is a Los Angeles thing or what, but
26:30growing up where I grew up, there was sides. You never crossed over into the other family's
26:37side, but I don't know. Everybody here in Los Angeles seems to be like, it's all like,
26:41hey, we're all just rooting for the kids, and I'm like, get on your side.
26:46Yeah, that's crap. I'm with Sebastian. I'm with you on that one, man. You know,
26:51you got to do what I've done in the past. Like, when they come over and they cross that line,
26:57and they pick up whatever the snack is that you bought for the team that you're supporting,
27:02you got to smack it out their hands. And it's not a bad thing. I've done it. I've done it from fruit
27:08to fruit snacks to cakes. Like, get out of here. And sometimes a little push to a kid's back
27:14doesn't hurt either. Like, you just set the tone, right? I think you set the tone. All right. Sebastian,
27:20man, look, we're big fans of your standup, as I mentioned before. We love it when you call out
27:24people in the wild. So, what we're going to do, man, we're going to bring those people to you in
27:29a game that we call, have you seen this guy? You seen this guy? Got my own segment. We're going to
27:37show you some pictures of athletes, and you tell us what you think of these guys. Are you ready?
27:43Yeah. Jackson Dart making an entrance. Let's see. All right. This guy looked like he fell out of
27:51Wilson's leather. Talk about a turtleneck. This is extremely aggressive. When you're hiding your
28:01Adam's apple. I hope this doesn't come off racist, but white guys in black leather trench coats just
28:09don't look right. This is, it doesn't, it screams murderer. I don't know why. Fresh. Yeah, this guy,
28:17it just screams serial killer. Just finished. Yeah. Just, just, just finished killing. All right,
28:26uh, next up, we got Mack Hollins. You seen this guy? You seen this guy? Oh, God, look at this guy.
28:32What is he? Q-tip? Yeah. I'm sorry, guys. I don't know where you stand on this. I'm into shoes.
28:39Get some shoes on. I'm not into this whole barefoot. Uh, those are his feet. Oh, those are his feet.
28:45Those are naked feet out there? Feet. I thought it was a boot. Jesus Christ. That's the first thing
28:50I noticed. I didn't even notice this guy looked like a Q-tip. He saw feet first. I'm just going to say
28:57this. Once again, I don't want to sound racist. This is more like a white guy outfit though. I got,
29:01I, I much rather see a white guy in this. That makes sense to me. This makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
29:06Well, next we got New York Jet who tried to come into the stadium incognito. Have you seen this guy?
29:13Yeah. What the fuck happened to Sammy Sosa? I don't understand.
29:16Listen, if, if, if I'm going up against this guy in a game, I'm out. I, I, I just,
29:32That's amazing. Sebastian, man, I want to thank you for coming on, man. I love you. Keep going, buddy.
29:38Everybody, please make some noise for my guy, Sebastian. Sebastian Salco. Love you, champ. Last week,
29:44a story broke about Giants edge rusher Abdul Carter being benched for watching adult videos
29:50during a team meeting. Now, as you can imagine, our writers exploded with jokes all over themselves.
29:57Yeah. Unfortunately, it was a premature accusation. That story was fake. More and more today is getting
30:04harder to figure out what's real or fake. In fact, here's some other headlines that totally got us.
30:09This is Don't Believe the Titans. Don't believe it. Don't believe it.
30:14I love it. Sacramento Kings commemorate last season by raising Western Conference participant banner.
30:20Yeah. That's not real. They were there. That's not real.
30:22Well, we were participating. We were there. Let's try another one. No, no.
30:25J.J. Redick quits as Lakers coach to spend more time with his podcast.
30:31Couldn't have been. I sound, I mean, that don't sound bad.
30:33You heard about it. You listen. The podcast, you get long-winded sometimes.
30:36Yeah, you know. He likes to talk.
30:37You got to get a lot of words out sometimes.
30:39That's where he lives. He likes to talk.
30:42Nike adds little guy to the swoosh logo. CEO says it was always supposed to be a canoe.
30:49Yeah. The whole time.
30:50Yeah. It was never supposed to be a swoosh. The whole time.
30:53I never got to put the little man in there because people jump to conclusions
30:58with the whole swoosh thing. They didn't even know that.
31:01This is a chance.
31:02I had the little man right here the whole time.
31:04The whole time.
31:04Read it.
31:05I think that they would have responded differently.
31:07Yeah.
31:07Because it's more about what you can do, right?
31:10Just canoe. Just canoe. Just canoe it.
31:13Clay Thompson and make the style and open up an organic food bank called WAP.
31:18Wet ass perishables.
31:20Yeah. Yeah.
31:20Yeah. By the way.
31:21Interesting.
31:21Yeah. No, but I mean, business is business.
31:23Yes.
31:24What don't you believe?
31:25Well, I don't want no dry perishables.
31:26No, no, no. If it ain't WAP, if it ain't WAP, I don't want it.
31:30Chiefs coach Andy Reid admits underneath my mustache is another mustache.
31:36Yeah.
31:37Another mustache.
31:38Yeah.
31:38Yeah.
31:38I don't want people to see the real one.
31:40No.
31:40I'm insecure about the little one.
31:42Yeah.
31:43That's why I put the big one over.
31:44The tiny little mustache.
31:45Yeah.
31:45Yeah.
31:45Yeah.
31:4727 NBA players tell wives they picked up Chris Paul from the airport.
31:51Oh, snap.
31:57Mike Tomlin and Omar Epps switch places and then the Steelers win.
32:06Crazy, right?
32:07That's nuts.
32:08Yeah.
32:10NBA announces groundbreaking new all-star format East versus West.
32:14Yeah.
32:15Yep.
32:16I like that.
32:17I like that joke.
32:18It's groundbreaking.
32:19I like that joke because they're always trying to change the format as if it's something new,
32:24but it still East versus West.
32:25Every time.
32:26Every time.
32:26Yeah.
32:26Okay.
32:27Eagle fan eats positivity bunnies inflatable poop.
32:31Yeah.
32:32Yeah.
32:33That's what they do in your hometown.
32:34Yeah.
32:35That's your people.
32:36Yeah.
32:36I'm not proud of some of the stuff that we do, but some of it has to be done.
32:40Who did that?
32:41In Philadelphia, when we won the Super Bowl, some fans would eat horse manure.
32:46All right.
32:47How do you celebrate a Super Bowl win?
32:49Yeah.
32:50Mr. Mr. high and mighty.
32:52Yeah.
32:53All of a sudden, all of a sudden, he too good to eat a little horse shit.
32:56Oh, you know, wearing something high and prestigious, put some chin in your mouth.
33:01You wonder why the Falcons ain't never won nothing.
33:03Right.
33:04Ain't no horses down there.
33:05Ain't no horses that y'all ready to clean up horses.
33:08Everybody be careful out there.
33:09There's a lot of fake news.
33:10A lot of it.
33:11So do not believe the type.
33:13Don't believe the type, man.
33:16Last week, Vanderbilt quarterback Diego Pavia came on our show to make his case for the Heisman.
33:22The committee obviously watched our show because last night he was selected as a fighter.
33:27No way.
33:28Congratulations, Diego.
33:30Congrats, Diego.
33:31Congrats.
33:31Now you remember what you said.
33:33I'll see you in New York and then we're going straight to California.
33:36I love it.
33:36That's right.
33:37We're holding the spot for you and your trophy next Tuesday.
33:40Good luck, Diego.
33:41Good luck, Diego.
33:44All right, that is our show.
33:45Thank you to Candace Parker.
33:46Yes.
33:46Sebastian.
33:47The Squire brothers.
33:48Oh, and that whack-ass yak.
33:50Get your yak-ass out of here.
33:51Get your yak-ass out of here.
33:52We will see you next Tuesday.
33:54Good night and good sports.
33:55Good sports.
33:56I'll see you later.
33:58I like that.
33:58I like that.
33:59It's my thing.
34:00You see that?
34:00Yeah.
34:01You need a thing, bro.
34:02I'm going to get a thing.
34:03You got to get a thing, bro.
34:05No, no, you got to get a thing.
34:07No, no, no, no, don't leave that down, man.
34:09Come on.
34:10Cut the cameras off.
34:11Don't show that.
34:31Well, everybody came together to put on a show.
34:33Well, everybody came together to put on a show.
34:35This has been good sports.
34:37Now it's time to go home.
34:39It's the credits.
34:41These are the credits.
34:43The credits.
34:45The credits.
34:47The credits.
34:49All credits.
34:51All credits.
34:53You
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