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00:00The national average for gas prices just crossed the $4 mark for the first time in four years.
00:07In some states, it's already nearing $6, and it's all because the war in Iran is choking global oil prices.
00:14This Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, at the Newark Prudential Center,
00:20come see your favorite monster truck standing still as hell.
00:26See Bigfoot with its engine off, and Grave Digger taking inertia to extreme.
00:36Thrilled to Megasaurus sitting quietly contemplating existence.
00:45So this Sunday, come to Newark Prudential Center and watch them park.
00:53It's The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.
00:59Tonight, Crude Awakening.
01:03Hi, Stephen Welcomes.
01:06Nathan Lane.
01:08And Arsenio Holmes.
01:11Featuring Louis Cato and the Three Feet Joy Machine.
01:16And now, live on tape from the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York City,
01:23it's Stephen Colbert!
01:48Welcome in here, out there, all around the world.
01:51Ladies and gentlemen, to The Late Show, I'm your host, Stephen Colbert.
01:57It was a beautiful day here in New York.
02:01Perfect for a walk to the park, a walk to work, a walk to Pennsylvania.
02:06The point is, no one can afford to drive, because we all woke up to the banner headline,
02:13and yikes, gas prices soar.
02:16The most dignified headline since, zoinks, Titanic sinks.
02:20There you go.
02:21The reason we're all yikesing is that for the first time since 2022,
02:26gas prices soared past an average of $4 per gallon.
02:29I mean, who could have seen this coming?
02:33Just, just two days ago, gas was a reasonable $3.98.
02:40Yesterday, it was $3.99.
02:43I mean, suddenly, out of nowhere, it's $4.
02:47There's no knowing what the price could be tomorrow.
02:53At $4 a gallon, gas is now officially more expensive than milk.
02:57Yeah.
02:58And everyone laughed when I bought my milk-powered car.
03:03Yes, I'm a proud owner of a Toyota Mamre.
03:12I'm sorry.
03:16I know the joke is over.
03:18Could you put it back up there for a second, please?
03:20So, it has...
03:25I don't understand why, if it runs on milk, it has udders.
03:29So, it makes its own fuel.
03:31Okay, that makes sense.
03:32This is a big change for consumers,
03:34because the price of a gallon of gas was below $3 a month ago.
03:38Now, obviously, we know what happened in the past month that raised prices.
03:42ABC canceled The Bachelorette.
03:44And, in response, Trump attacked Iran.
03:49And, the fact...
03:51I think that's why.
03:52The fact that Trump is ruining everything all the time
03:54has not helped his popularity.
03:56According to a new UMass, YouGov,
03:59You Spin Me Right Round, Baby Right Round poll,
04:02his approval rating has sunk to 33%.
04:0833.
04:1033%.
04:11One-third.
04:11That's only one out of every three people.
04:15To put that into perspective,
04:16turn to your right.
04:18Now, turn to your left.
04:21Both of those people are more popular than Donald Trump.
04:26Trump's popular...
04:26They did it.
04:27They did it.
04:29You all did it.
04:30That was lovely.
04:32Trump's other poll numbers are also pretty rough.
04:35On average, 47.2% of Americans strongly disapprove of him.
04:39But there are still 22.4% who strongly approve of him.
04:48Who are you?
05:01Well, I want cash to be expensive.
05:04I want the Kennedy Center blowed up.
05:07And I know this is a pipe dream, but is there any way that maybe, maybe, we could get Denmark
05:13to hate us?
05:15Because I would just love it if the price of licorice went up, too.
05:21The high...
05:24We were backstage going, what does Denmark make?
05:29Mermaids?
05:30Okay.
05:31The high gas prices and poor poll numbers might be spookin' Trump,
05:34because the Wall Street Journal is now reporting that he's willing to end the U.S. military campaign in Iran,
05:39even if the Strait of Hormuz remains largely closed.
05:44Which, of course, brings us to another installment of our long-running series,
05:48Hormuz News You Can Use!
05:52Entering Month 2's
05:54Strait Still Closed?
05:57Me Confused!
06:05Trump seems to be changing his tune,
06:07because administration officials determined that a mission to pry open the Strait
06:11would push the conflict beyond Trump's self-imposed timeline of four to six weeks.
06:16So he's just walking away from the disaster he created,
06:19because it's too complicated.
06:21It's a military strategy known as starting a thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle.
06:27Ooh, this is fun.
06:30No, wait, maybe I hate jigsaw puzzles.
06:33Tell you what, I'm just going to leave this here on the dining room table for...
06:37three years.
06:40Ooh, found an edge.
06:44Now, Trump, it's too much green.
06:48It's all just green.
06:54Now, Trump wants to cut and run,
06:56and pass his problem off to just anybody else.
06:59This morning he posted,
07:00all of those countries that can't get jet fuel because of the Strait of Hormuz,
07:05build up some delayed courage,
07:08go to the Strait,
07:08and just take it.
07:10Iran has been essentially decimated.
07:14The hard part is done.
07:15Go get your own oil.
07:17Yes.
07:18No.
07:19Yes, he's right.
07:20The hard part is done.
07:21Now go do the harder part.
07:25It's like Alexander Graham Bale's famous words,
07:28Mr. Watson, come here and invent the telephone.
07:33If...
07:33If other countries...
07:35Bale...
07:38Bale...
07:52Bale...
07:53We will conclude our lovely stay in Iran
07:57by blowing up and completely obliterating
08:00all of their electric-generating plants,
08:02oil wells and cargillin,
08:04and possibly all desalination plants,
08:06which we have purposefully not yet touched.
08:11Okay, first off,
08:14someone who's mentioned in the Epstein files
08:16over 38,000 times
08:17should not...
08:19Really.
08:21Should not put quotes around the word...
08:24Touched.
08:36B.
08:38Deliberately blowing up civilian infrastructure
08:40could constitute a war crime.
08:42But at this point,
08:43I think Trump is hoping to achieve
08:45the crime EGOT,
08:47which, of course,
08:48is war crime,
08:49financial crime,
08:50sex crime,
08:51and...
08:52Grammy.
08:54To add to the confusion...
08:58To add to the confusion,
09:00there was a press conference today
09:01from Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth
09:03seen here finding out
09:04the Build-A-Bear workshop
09:05does not have a full bar.
09:09Hegseth...
09:09Hegseth tried to...
09:11tried to clear things up
09:12about where we go from here.
09:15If Iran is wise,
09:17they will cut a deal.
09:18This new regime,
09:19because regime change has occurred,
09:22should be wiser than the last.
09:25Should they?
09:27Should they be?
09:28Because the guy we're negotiating with
09:30is the son of the Ayatollah
09:32we blew up.
09:34Not necessarily the best opening offer.
09:36It's like that famous scene
09:38from The Princess Bride.
09:40My name is Inigo Montoya.
09:42You killed my father.
09:45Prepare to...
09:46Negotiate!
09:51He's so good.
09:53Man.
09:53He's so good.
09:54He's so good.
09:56He's the best.
09:59Mandy.
10:00But our Secretary of War Crimes
10:02explained why it's okay
10:03to blow stuff up.
10:05Because God likes it.
10:07Because here he is
10:08last week at the Pentagon
10:09praying.
10:11Let every round find its mark
10:13against the enemies of righteousness
10:14and our great nation.
10:16Give them wisdom
10:18in every decision,
10:20endurance for the trial ahead,
10:21unbreakable unity,
10:23and overwhelming violence of action
10:25against those who deserve no mercy.
10:26We ask these things
10:28with bold confidence
10:29in the mighty and powerful name
10:30of Jesus Christ.
10:31Yes.
10:32Yes.
10:33No.
10:37Boo all you want,
10:38but we all remember
10:39the Sermon on the Mount
10:40when Jesus said,
10:42To him who strikes you
10:43on the one cheek,
10:44ask,
10:44Do you know where you are?
10:46You're in the jungle, baby!
10:48You're gonna die!
10:56Hey!
11:04That's what Mitch used to do.
11:12I don't know what in the blue-eyed,
11:15blonde baby Jesus
11:16Hegseth is talking about
11:17because that is not the Jesus
11:19I was raised with
11:20and it's not the Jesus
11:21the Pope was raised with either
11:23because on Palm Sunday, Pope Leo responded,
11:26Brothers and sisters, this is our God.
11:29Jesus, King of Peace, who rejects war,
11:31whom no one can use to justify war.
11:34He does not listen to the prayers of those who wage war
11:37or reject them, saying,
11:40Even though you make many prayers,
11:42I will not listen.
11:43Your hands are full of blood.
11:50Yeah.
11:51There it is.
11:54There it is.
11:58Though I gotta ask, hands full of blood,
12:02I mean, who could that be?
12:03Oh, there you go.
12:06There it is.
12:07But there's some good news from the federal courts,
12:10ladies and gentlemen, because earlier today,
12:12a federal judge blocked Trump from moving ahead
12:15with any further work on his ballroom.
12:30Is there any way we can declare Iran a ballroom?
12:35And the judge, and he did not hold back in his ruling.
12:38He wrote,
12:38The president of the United States is the steward of the White House
12:41for future generations of first families.
12:43He is not, however, the owner.
12:46Yeah, that's true.
12:48That's absolutely true.
12:52The judge is right.
12:54That's true, which is why they make every president put down a security deposit
12:58and charge 35 bucks if they lose their White House front door key.
13:02The president, of course, got winded this ruling,
13:04and he is, how you say, a muy furioso.
13:08The National Trust for Historic Preservation
13:11choose me for a ballroom that is under budget,
13:14ahead of schedule, being built at no cost to the taxpayer,
13:18and will be the finest building of its kind anywhere in the world,
13:21but all of the many disasters in our country are left alone to die.
13:27Doesn't make much sense, does it?
13:29You know what?
13:30I'll grant him this.
13:31He really should end more sentences like that.
13:34I'm the president of the United States.
13:37Doesn't make much sense, does it?
13:40We've got a great show for you tonight.
13:43My guests are Aidan Payne and Arsenio Hall.
13:47When we come back, thanks to join us.
14:15Louis Cato and the great big toy machine, everybody.
14:18There you go.
14:20There she is.
14:21There she knows.
14:23Coming up, my friends, my friends and neighbors.
14:27Coming up, we have two giants of the stage and the screen.
14:30Mr. Nathan Lane and Mr. Arsenio Hall will be out here.
14:33Just a little abyss action here.
14:36There you go.
14:36Wow.
14:37No way.
14:38Yeah.
14:38That's wonderful.
14:40I love it.
14:41Right?
14:41We've got our own dog pound.
14:43All right.
14:44Folks, if you know me, you know I love science.
14:47Without it, what would we do with Bunsen burners?
14:50Burn Bunsen?
14:52And I'd like to bring you all...
14:54We shouldn't.
14:55That's what I'm saying.
14:55We shouldn't do this.
14:57I'd like to bring all the latest science news in my science segment.
15:00The Sound of Science.
15:03The Sound of Science.
15:05Fire and Fire.
15:08First up, a new study says...
15:11A new study says making babies in space may be more complicated than expected.
15:26First of all, the astronauts are going to have to get closer than that.
15:31Scientists have found that...
15:33Sperm struggled to navigate through the female reproductive tract in microgravity, making it
15:38harder to reach the egg.
15:40That's if you can even get it on in zero-G.
15:44One person's got to be Velcroed to the wall.
15:46The other one's got to strap on a bungee cord.
15:50You know...
15:51You know they're up there trying it.
15:53Astronauts do love tang.
15:55Now, our next...
15:57Come on.
15:59Come on.
16:01We're off the air in two months.
16:03Now, our next science sound...
16:07Moo!
16:08Because scientists have reported the first documented case of a tool use in a pet cow.
16:13Please be a slap chop.
16:14Please be a slap chop.
16:15Please.
16:16Damn.
16:17Nope.
16:19Cow's named Veronica, and she's taught herself to use a broom to scratch herself without any
16:24help.
16:24So, yes, she can wield a broom, just not quite well enough to defend herself against Ruth's
16:30Chris.
16:30Moo!
16:34Maybe you should have learned to use the nunchucks, Veronica.
16:37Moo!
16:40Moo!
16:40Moo!
16:41Moo!
16:42Moo!
16:42That's right, that's right, that's right, that's right, that's okay.
16:46Next up, the website Science News is imploring us to watch the first video of a sperm whale
16:52birth, which has been captured on camera in more intimate detail than ever before.
16:58You know what?
16:58I would love to.
17:01But one of the things I gave up for Lent is looking at close-up shots of whale genitals.
17:06But I'll tell you what, come Monday, free Willy.
17:10Next up, free Willy, Tang, Ruth's Chris, making lots of friends here.
17:20Next up, scientists just turned light into a remote control for crystals, which really
17:24sounds like dialogue in a bad science fiction movie so they can just get on with the rest
17:28of the story.
17:29Doctor, how can we stop the aliens if their weapons are powered by quartz?
17:33I just did a science and I turned light into a remote control for crystals.
17:38Now, Velcro yourself to the wall and I'll get the bungee cords.
17:43There you go.
17:44It's a callback.
17:45It's called a callback.
17:47What does it mean?
17:48Callback.
17:49Next up, scientists have developed eye drops made from pig semen that can deliver cancer
17:55treatment to mice, which is good news for the mice.
17:58And I've got to say, great news for the pigs.
18:09Next up, chins, the heel of the face.
18:13Humans are the only mammal that has them, and researchers say that the human chin has long
18:19been fertile ground for arguments between scientists over its purpose.
18:22And some are still asking, why do humans uniquely have a chin?
18:26I can answer that one.
18:28The chin has a very clear evolutionary purpose.
18:30It's so you can go, hmm.
18:34I wonder what a chin is for.
18:40Now, what else?
18:43What else is down the science hole?
18:45This.
18:45Blue crabs have a serious cannibalism problem.
18:48Now, not to nitpick, but that implies there's such a thing as a non-serious cannibalism problem.
18:55Beth, before this relationship goes any further, I should tell you I have a mild cannibalism issue.
19:01I hope you still want me to meet your parents.
19:03Your dad sounds delicious.
19:07Next up, a new study looked at what happens when you make clones of cloned mice,
19:13and found that after 20 years of continuous cloning from a single donor mouse,
19:19re-cloned mice accumulated large mutations in their DNA,
19:22and major issues showed up by the 27th generation.
19:26In support of the study, scientists published this photo of a 27th generation re-cloned mouse.
19:34We'll be right back with Nathan Lane.
19:47Welcome back.
19:49Ladies and gentlemen, friends and neighbors, children of all ages.
19:55Folks, my first guest tonight is an Emmy and Tony Award-winning actor.
20:01He now stars as Willie Lohman in the Broadway revival of Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman.
20:06Please welcome back to The Late Show, Nathan Lane.
20:37Thank you, Alan.
20:39Wow.
20:50Nice job.
20:51What a nice way to start.
20:53Yes.
20:53Nice to see you again.
20:55And you look great.
20:56You look joyful and radiant, like Lindsey Graham with a bubble wand.
21:01Happiest place on earth.
21:03Absolutely.
21:04Yes, wherever he is.
21:07Sorry, we both jumped for the joke.
21:09There you go.
21:11Listen, you are now starring on Broadway in a revival of one of the greatest American plays
21:15as Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman.
21:18Yeah.
21:20As opposed to all the other Death of a Salesman's out there.
21:24You're playing Willy Loman, okay?
21:27I understand this production has been in the works for 30 years?
21:30Yeah.
21:31It takes you that long to learn your lines?
21:35These days.
21:36Yes.
21:37You know the way you feel about Lord of the Rings.
21:40This is how I feel about this play.
21:43Sure.
21:43It's like a sacred text to me.
21:45I saw it when I was 10 years old in 1966.
21:48There was a CBS special presentation of the play with the original stars Lee J Cobb and Mildred Dunnick.
21:55And I remember being very upset at 10 by what was happening to Lee J Cobb.
22:01Other children were watching Gilligan's Island.
22:05And I was mesmerized by Arthur Miller's attack on capitalism.
22:13But then cut 30 years later, I was rehearsing a Terence McNally play, this was in 1995, with the director
22:22of Salesman, the brilliant Joe Mantello.
22:24It was our first time working together, and one day he turned to me and said, you know, someday we're
22:30going to do Death of a Salesman together.
22:32And I was sort of surprised and very touched that he thought I might be worthy of taking on such
22:39a monumental piece someday.
22:41And now, 30 years later, it's finally happening, and I couldn't be more thrilled and grateful to be doing it
22:48with this extraordinary cast over at the Winter Garden.
22:50Well, it's an amazing play, iconic role.
22:58Willie Loman is an iconic role.
23:00What's it like playing him?
23:03Well, you know, it's longer than King Lear.
23:08Is it?
23:08Yes, it is.
23:09The part Willie Loman has more lines than King Lear.
23:12Yes, and it's been historically tough on the actors playing Willie.
23:18Arthur Miller wrote that Lee J. Cobb lost his voice after three months and wanted to take a two-week
23:24vacation.
23:24And they said, it's a hit, Lee, you can't leave.
23:27And he left the play early.
23:28Dustin Hoffman, he started doing eight shows a week, and then he reduced it to six.
23:33Brian Dennehy had to be hospitalized for exhaustion, and they reduced it to seven performances.
23:38What about how many?
23:39I'm doing eight, so I'm on a death watch.
23:44So glad we could get you.
23:45What a way to go.
23:46Exactly.
23:47I'll tell you, you know, the power of this play is undeniable.
23:54And, you know, it's a classic for a reason, and it speaks to us each time you see it.
23:59And certainly, where you are in your own life and where we are in the country, it's always relevant, and
24:05it's always showing you something about how we live.
24:09But it's not just our country. This play has been performed all over the world.
24:12All over, Arthur Miller directed it in Beijing.
24:15Wow.
24:15And they all said, oh, it's our story.
24:18Why do you think that is?
24:19I remember my father, who didn't really like live theater, my mother loved it, he didn't really care for it.
24:25But they went to go see the original with Lee J Cobb, Death of a Salesman, and my father's father
24:31had been a salesman.
24:32And he walked out and turned to my mom, and his entire review was, that was true.
24:37Oh, yeah.
24:39Yeah.
24:39I think, you know, when you hear people weeping in the dark, you hear a kind of silence that you
24:46only hear in the theater when people are experiencing something like this.
24:51Because it's, you know, there are so many essays you can read about the socio-political aspects of the play.
24:57But ultimately, it's a love story.
24:59It's a story about a family, and a father and a son, and mothers and sons.
25:05And it's about, and Miller, you know, was often asked what it was about.
25:09And he had many different answers, but he said, when he directed in Beijing, he said, it's a love story
25:16between a father and a son, and in a crazy way between them and America.
25:22And it's, you know, it's just, I've, it's a lifelong dream to be doing this.
25:28It's the culmination of, you know, 50 years as a professional actor.
25:32So to finally be doing it is, is just amazing to me.
25:38And I'm so happy that audiences have been responding to this.
25:42We have to take a quick break.
25:43We'll be right back with more Nathan Lane, everybody.
25:45Stick around.
25:52You know, a real pro.
25:55Hey, everybody, we're back.
25:56No, sit down.
25:57We're not done yet.
25:58We're not done yet.
26:00We're not done yet.
26:01Hey.
26:02Hey, kid.
26:03Welcome to show business.
26:05I'm so busy.
26:06You'll understand someday.
26:07Ladies, it's Jason Lane, everybody.
26:09Sit down.
26:10Oh.
26:11Okay.
26:12I first saw you in Guys and Dolls.
26:14Oh, 1992.
26:15Back in the day.
26:16Yeah.
26:16Faith Prince and such.
26:17Oh.
26:18The greatest musical ever.
26:20It is.
26:21It is.
26:22Pound for pound.
26:23Right.
26:23Everything's a hit.
26:24And the entire thing.
26:25And I just love you.
26:27I know you don't, Willie does not sing, but I know you sing.
26:29And I was just wondering, I was wondering if you could do something for us.
26:33I understand there's something you actually wanted to do before.
26:35Oh, well, you know, this is, you know, my final appearance on The Late Show.
26:39Unless George Clooney, you know, falls out and I get a last minute call.
26:43So, I wanted to.
26:45Leave your number.
26:45Okay, good.
26:46Good.
26:46I wanted to do something special.
26:49And.
26:52Oh.
26:54That's so nice.
26:57So.
27:00And also for your audience, but, you know, to thank you for being such a kind and gracious
27:06host.
27:07Oh, you're very kind.
27:07Thank you very much.
27:08Thank you very much.
27:08No, it's our honor to have you on.
27:10I've enjoyed our visit so much.
27:12Yeah.
27:13So, I called my dear friend, Tony Grammy Emmy Award winner and seven-time Oscar nominee,
27:19Mark Shaman.
27:20Yes.
27:20And we found a wonderful song that we felt speaks to the challenging times we are living
27:28through.
27:29And I'd like to introduce you all to Mr. Mark Shaman.
27:41Nice to see you.
27:44So, Maestro.
27:46Yes.
27:46The stage is yours, friend.
27:48Oh, thank you very much.
27:50So, this is just to set this up.
27:53This is a song called Laughing Matters.
27:56It debuted in 1996 in a little off-Broadway review called When Pigs Fly.
28:01And it's written by Dick Gallagher and Mark Waldrop.
28:05Hi, Mark.
28:07Hello, David.
28:10MS Now and CNN keep us all abreast of breaking stories that contend to make us angry.
28:28This is a song called The New York Times for a New York Times.
28:30This is a song called The New York Times.
28:31It's an old-fashioned crowd.
28:35This is a song called The New York Times.
28:42It's a song called The New York Times.
28:50Cynicism's all the fad
28:53World events could make us mad as hatters
28:59Almost every day
29:02Some underpinning slips away
29:06These aren't laughing matters
29:13Time bombs tick
29:16People keep on getting sick
29:20And a nickel's not worth a cent
29:26Wickedness and greed abound
29:30Just as peace is gaining ground
29:33It shatters
29:37Hate is here to stay
29:39And justice goes to those who pay
29:44Friends, these aren't laughing matters
29:49The truth is scarier by far
29:56Than anything that Stephen King could write
30:01The stories in the paper are
30:10The daily small decline and fall
30:14Spelled out in black and white
30:20Oh, what to do
30:24How to take a brighter view
30:27When your noodles totally fried
30:35Human spirits need to be
30:38Leavened by some levity
30:41So take those blues
30:43So take those blues
30:44And bounce them off the wall
30:47Keep your humor
30:51Please
30:52Please
30:54Cause don't you know
30:56It's times like these
31:00That
31:02Laughing matters
31:04Most of
31:31Most of
31:34All
31:34Welcome to Nathan Lane, everybody
31:35We'll be right back
31:37With our Senior Hall
31:56welcome back ladies and gentlemen i am so happy to say that my next guest tonight is a legend of
32:02late night television you know him from coming to america and as the host of the arsenio hall show
32:08please welcome back to the late show mr arsenio hall
32:35yeah exactly wow
32:40hey man it's great to see you i've interviewed you before over zoom during covid but it's wonderful
32:44to be with you in the flesh for the first time yes yeah and my mother made you a hat
32:51yes a knit hat
32:53yeah she made you like like you're gonna wear a knit hat well not this time of year but yeah
32:59i might
32:59wear a knit hat um uh there's so much to talk about let's just get straight to you got a
33:04new
33:04memoir and my edibles just kicked in so i'm like this is beautiful well as as my elementary school
33:13teacher used to say did you bring enough for the whole class the new memoir right here arsenio
33:20uh a memoir tells the story of how i want to get to this guy as quickly as possible oh
33:26this this this
33:28talented aspiring young magician who was obsessed with johnny carson and hosted a talk show in his
33:37basement you had your own yes and it was called uh arsenio
33:44early and off okay how he became the arsenio hall would would this young man be surprised that it worked
33:51out um this this young man would be surprised that he has food on his table uh you know when
34:00i was
34:00young it was it was uh tough goings for a while i have you ever done this have you ever
34:05gone to the
34:05supermarket and put stuff in your cart and eat while you're there sure and then leave the cart and run
34:12out of the store yes that's that's how i used to eat early on so i just wanted food man
34:18i'm but i'm happy
34:19it all worked out now now your show arsenio introduced so many artists that went on to be
34:28huge mariah carey will smith snoop dogg mc hammer yes and did you like did you personally go like oh
34:36i want that that person seems fantastic did you have like a special sense of who these people might
34:41be i i think so i remember tommy mottola giving me a cassette tape in the ivy a restaurant in
34:48los
34:48angeles and on it it said mariah carey vision of love and i went to the car and played it
34:55on the
34:55way home and i'm like hey let's find her you know and i put her on or one time they
35:01brought me a tape
35:02of a little boy doing an elvis impression and uh i was like we got to put him on and
35:08paramount said
35:08no because how old was he uh he was an embryo he was like uh no he was he was
35:15uh maybe five yeah
35:16yeah you know they lied about his age i think but but uh but we created something in the monologue
35:23so it was like a talent show and he competed against an old lady
35:26who's who who sings and he came out and turned it out and it was bruno mars
35:33yeah wow yeah bruno mars yes and he never got much bigger no no
35:41now you uh you also had prince on to perform multiple times and you like prince right oh
35:47prince is fantastic yeah and but you got to know him you got to know him what's it like to
35:53get to
35:53you know prince did you hang with him yeah when i could prince didn't have a cell phone
35:59so so he was hard to hang with because but one time i said why don't you get a cell
36:05phone man he
36:05said why do i need a cell phone and i said so i can find your ass you know yes
36:12yes he said everyone
36:13around me has a cell phone and i'm like oh that's a good point i guess you know but but
36:19prince used to
36:20ask me for the whole hour and he was the only one i would give that to if prince were
36:24here
36:24would you give him the whole hour i would kick you off the stage right
36:33yes absolutely that's the answer yeah exactly that's it of course yeah i'd kick me off the stage
36:38yeah yeah i used to be a little heavy on music you know i did a lot of music and
36:44uh you know music
36:45doesn't always hold the ratings the way no no no we see them in a by minutes yeah we love
36:51it and
36:51you want to treat the artists very well because you're grateful for there because it blows your
36:54mind that you're there with prince or whoever it is or mccartney or whatever it is but the network's
36:58like yeah yeah and you know it's expensive yep they want to put it at the end of the show
37:02right and my bread and butter was music one time i booked uh michael bivins from new edition
37:08called me oh wow this is a very hip group of white and black people
37:16yes yes wow no because yes that's cbs yeah yeah there you go because you know when you say
37:26michael bivins i expected the brother you know i expect yeah i know mike he's from philly right
37:32you know but these white people were like michael bivins i like it but uh we sent we hand out
37:40glossaries before that that's good thank goodness but um he called me and he said these guys from
37:46philadelphia there are four of them they're called boys to men the album's not finished yet but could you
37:52bring them on and maybe let them sit in with the posse the band yeah and i said you know
37:57what i got the
37:57temptations coming on and he said oh they love the temptations and i had them all performed together
38:04what and and yeah and and paramount that that was what paramount wanted more black people
38:13that they didn't know performing so i you know
38:19now listen you write you write in your book about your relationship with the great richard pryor oh
38:24that's the man now the first time you truly hung out he came to your unfurnished condo
38:29right yes so you had a condo but had no furniture i had no furniture uh i was talking to
38:34his security
38:35guy and uh rashawn rashawn said mr pryor uh senior just bought a condo and i was like you know
38:45don't
38:45tell richard don't care about that you know and uh richard said i'd like to see it
38:52and rashawn brought him to my condo and i had no furniture but rashawn had told me just have some
39:00kvasi and the three of us sat there and drank kvasi and you know what he said something to me
39:06and i never
39:07forgot it he said he looked around this empty condo one bedroom and he said you know this is when
39:12i was
39:12happy and i said what do you mean he said yeah when when it was simple and i had a
39:17place like this and it
39:19taught me a little something you know the things you buy the material things that's not happiness
39:25you know you can have a lot of stuff and be very unhappy you know and i learned a lot
39:31from richard
39:31you know and some of it didn't have nothing to do with comedy
39:41the man is arsenio the book is arsenio arsenio
39:50we'll be right back
39:55hey that's it for the late show tune in tomorrow my guest will be meryl streep good night
40:06so
40:38We're right back.
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