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Reality Realm US

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Transcript
00:00I'm wearing my school colors.
00:02Back at Sammy Davis Senior Junior, my cheer team,
00:04we would decorate campus, we wore our uniforms,
00:06and we even got into a little mischief.
00:09Our rival was Harry Connick Junior Junior College,
00:12and the Crooners had this big old statue of their namesake.
00:15And one year, someone turned his microphone into a wiener.
00:19That's the kind of fun we had, allegedly.
00:22I don't know who would do something like this.
00:24Kind of stuff that helps you bond as a team.
00:26That's what we need on our long road to Daytona.
00:29And that's why I just can't wait to see
00:31what this quirky little college has in store.
00:34Oh, Lord, they didn't do anything.
00:37What the heck is this trash?
00:39Oh, okay, at least there's a sign.
00:42I didn't even spell it right.
00:44Oh, there you go, blue water, our school colors.
00:47It's not much, but it's a start.
00:53Ooh, you can really taste the spirit.
00:58False alarm.
00:59No, it's real.
01:03Okay, let's go.
01:04Okay, okay, let's go.
01:06Five, six, seven, eight.
01:08Uh-huh, uh-huh.
01:15Zals.
01:16I think that football player over there likes you.
01:21What?
01:21No, he doesn't.
01:22I think this is for you.
01:35He thinks her name is Sally.
01:36Girl, can't you tell when a boy likes you?
01:40Stop kicking my chair.
01:42Stop backing your chair into my foot.
01:44Oh, my God.
01:45Nobody drink out of that water fountain out there.
01:48Also, where is all the school spirit in this place?
01:50Wise nobody wearing school colors, especially my cheerleaders.
01:54Y'all know they were playing East South Oklahoma Junior College for homecoming this week.
01:58Oh, our homecoming game is away, actually.
02:00For seven weeks after the button factory releases its new color, it's dangerous to be outside for long periods of time.
02:05Or short periods of time.
02:06So, if you have a cough or colorful diarrhea for more than six weeks, please see a doctor.
02:10So, y'all don't do anything for homecoming?
02:13Well, technically, we're not home, so no one's coming.
02:15This feels...
02:16Peaches.
02:17What happened to your eye, hon?
02:18I took your advice about extracurricular activities and joined a club.
02:21Oh.
02:22Fight club.
02:23The first rule of Hedelson Junior College Fight Club is to tell everyone about it.
02:27It's a new club, and we're trying to get more members.
02:30So, y'all are telling me that we have a fight club, but we don't have homecoming activities?
02:34Who do I need to talk to about this?
02:38You wanted to see me?
02:40Are you batch yet?
02:41You can call me Tom.
02:42Oh, well, I'm Courtney Potter.
02:43I'm the cheer coach.
02:44I'm just...
02:45I'm wondering why we don't do anything for homecoming week.
02:48We tried having games, but breathing is dangerous.
02:50Oh.
02:51I understand.
02:52Yeah.
02:53But what about school spirit?
02:54There is a lot to be...
02:55Well, there's some stuff to be proud of here.
02:58Let my cheer team have a pep rally, and I guarantee it will make a huge difference for this school.
03:03Look, you're not from here.
03:04We don't like change at Hiddleston.
03:06In fact, we banned coins back in 2003.
03:09That was my doing.
03:10So, when you see something that costs $1.04 and you have to round up to $2, you can say,
03:14that's batchet.
03:15Look, this might sound crazy, batchet, but school pride, it makes kids feel like they belong
03:20to something.
03:21Yeah.
03:22Give them a rival.
03:23Right now, their only rival is life.
03:25Okay.
03:26You're quite the fighter.
03:27Yeah.
03:28You're not available Wednesday from 11 to 2, are you?
03:30Fight club needs a coach.
03:31Now, that's batchet.
03:33Don't just call me Tom.
03:35Baby, what's going on?
03:39Oh, I made decorations for the pep rally.
03:41The table was not like this the night my streak started.
03:44My team is currently in the midst of a four-game winning streak, so in order to keep the good
03:49mojo going, I'm doing everything the exact same every night.
03:52Same underwear, Courtney's making me the same steak dinner.
03:54Here is your nightly 32-ounce tomahawk steak, side of garlic mashed potatoes, and 9-1-1 pre-dolled
04:00on my phone.
04:01Baby, where are the greens?
04:02Oh.
04:05Thank you much.
04:06I'm even watching the same episode of Jeopardy.
04:08What is a souffle?
04:09Who is Ruth Bader Ginsburg?
04:11That's correct.
04:12Dang it, that's right.
04:13Coach, you think maybe you're winning games because you're in a new division and they
04:16don't know your team and not because you're eating like you're in a contest?
04:19Baby, let's not mock science, okay?
04:21Meat sweats are starting early tonight.
04:26Y'all know I am Boone's biggest cheerleader, but I can't wait for this streak to end.
04:31Now this pep rally is as much for our team as it is for the school.
04:35Tomorrow, we are cheering against our rivals, the East-South Oklahoma Western Owls.
04:42But those aren't our rivals.
04:44My cousin goes there.
04:45Yeah, and they have a great animal paranormal studies program.
04:48Okay, I don't care.
04:49Right now, they are the enemy.
04:51Y'all, at my old school, we put a d*** in Harry Connick Jr.'s mouth.
04:54Ew.
04:56Allegedly.
04:57I'm down.
04:58I'm not doing that.
05:00You know what?
05:01I don't care how dead they are out there.
05:02When you hear that music, you come out cheering.
05:04Now go on backstage till it's time.
05:07Peddleston, show me that spirit!
05:09I can't hear you!
05:10I can't hear you!
05:12All right, y'all, listen up.
05:14Tomorrow, we're playing East-South Oklahoma Junior College, and we're gonna bury them.
05:24Yeah?
05:25We're gonna destroy them!
05:27We're gonna wipe them off the map!
05:32That's what I'm talking about!
05:37And now, ooh, give it up for Miss Dot-dot-dot-dot-dot.
05:42I have some terrible news.
05:46I'm sad to report that a gigantic sinkhole has opened up under East-South Oklahoma Junior College.
05:55They have been buried.
05:57They have been destroyed.
06:00They have been wiped off the map.
06:05Y'all ready for this?
06:06No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
06:18Guys, no!
06:19Right!
06:21No, no, no, no!
06:22Guys, no!
06:23Guys!
06:24No!
06:25What is a Guazu Falls?
06:27Who is Big Bird?
06:28What the heck is a Big Bird?
06:30Oh, honey.
06:31I know it's not in the streak routine, but we're gonna have to crack a window.
06:34Yeah?
06:35Baby, you outdid yourself with that 32-ouncer.
06:37We destroyed Matarday St. Bernard Collies.
06:39Well, you're lucky.
06:40Our game got canceled because a stupid sinkhole swallowed an entire city.
06:46Our prayers go out to the good people who lost everything.
06:48Mm-hmm.
06:49Night guard.
06:50Oh, baby.
06:51No.
06:52I was thinking maybe we could celebrate my victory.
06:55Boom.
06:56Okay, no offense, but you smell like a stew.
06:59Did you shower?
07:01Twice.
07:02It's coming from inside.
07:03Okay.
07:04Well, now don't read into this.
07:06I am just drinking some water.
07:07I just don't know what to do, baby.
07:09We have no team spirit.
07:10We have no rival.
07:11So we have nothing that bonds us, you know?
07:13Well, good thing you're coming to play us at our homecoming game next week.
07:17That way your team can see what real school spirit looks like.
07:19I just can't believe I have to go back to Sammy Davis Sr. Jr. and not even have my revenge body yet.
07:23Honey, you were born with a revenge body.
07:26Mm-hmm.
07:27And speaking of revenge, that tomahawk's doing a number on my belly.
07:30Well, Benny, you're not really making me feel better about my life.
07:33Your life is great, all right?
07:36You get to visit your old stomping grounds and you get to see your husband win a football game just like the good old days.
07:41What makes you think you're gonna win?
07:43Because I've never lost a homecoming game at Sammy Davis Sr. Jr. College?
07:46Okay, but that's when I was cheering for you and now I'm gonna be cheering against you.
07:51Well, look at this.
07:53Seems like something's gotta give.
07:56Uh-oh.
07:57This is the real deal.
07:59Breathe through the mouth, baby.
08:00We're coming for you, babe.
08:02You don't have any idea what my cheerleaders are capable of.
08:07Hello?
08:08You have an incoming call from Hedleston County Jail from Peaches.
08:12Didn't I say no more from that club?
08:15That wasn't fight club. That was me fighting at a club.
08:18Are you in a gang?
08:19No.
08:20It's just a loose association of like-minded youth who defend our turf and demand loyalty.
08:24Okay, well, you have that already?
08:25It's called cheer.
08:27Peaches, you have got to get on the good foot, honey.
08:30You are my star flower now, and that means responsibility.
08:33Get your feet off the dash.
08:34And that means no more fighting.
08:36Yeah?
08:37You get arrested one more time, you're off the team.
08:39Matter of fact, you know what?
08:40Get on out.
08:41Find your own way home.
08:42Seriously?
08:43Did I stutter?
08:44Go.
08:45Fine.
08:46I know that seems harsh, but as a coach, it is my job to teach her responsibility and to keep her safe.
08:52Peaches.
08:54Peaches, get off that butt.
08:55Not with him.
08:56Peaches!
08:58Six, seven, dip.
08:59One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, hit.
09:02One.
09:03All right.
09:04Y'all pop off on your own.
09:05Listen up, y'all.
09:06Barring another school getting swallowed into the ground.
09:10We made a donation.
09:12Hashtag East South Oklahoma Strong.
09:14We are going to be cheering today at Sammy Davis Senior Junior College's homecoming.
09:17You're going to see a lot of team spirit there.
09:19Am I right, DeMarcus?
09:20I can't wait to see my former teammates.
09:21You got JT, TJ, PJ.
09:23PJ Junior.
09:24White Eric.
09:25Black Eric.
09:26You know, cheer is fine.
09:27But in football, you get to hang out with your boys.
09:29And that's exactly why I even...
09:31What are you looking at?
09:34Nothing.
09:38What was I saying?
09:39You were talking about your boys.
09:41Right.
09:42Did I mention Asian Eric?
09:43That guy's crazy.
09:44I'm back!
09:45What are you doing here?
09:46Christo, I thought you were still in love with Alan Paulin.
09:49You were still in love with me.
09:55I thought it was more important to be here with my team.
09:59Aw, babe.
10:00That's cute.
10:01Sweet.
10:02And if anyone asks, Alexei Vishnevsky is a deceptive little bitch.
10:05Oh.
10:06Uh, how are you feeling about going back to Sammy Davis Senior Junior?
10:09I feel great.
10:10Oh.
10:11I'm not going.
10:12My momager and dadager said it won't be good for my brand if I go back to the team I left and I'm not beloved.
10:17Plus, I started an instant for my fee and it's taking up a lot of my time, which you can follow at Crystal's Little Piggies.
10:26Mm-hmm.
10:27Okay.
10:28Well, everybody who's not pimping their feet, just come on with me.
10:31Okay.
10:32Yikes.
10:33Hey, S-E-S-M-C, go Bucsons, go!
10:38Welcome to Sammy Davis Senior Junior College homecoming.
10:41Stick around for the halftime show, where we will be giving last year's cheerleading team their national championship rings.
10:47I give my ring.
10:48Aw.
10:49See, this is what school spirit really feels like.
10:52We do have our fan base, too.
10:54Honestly, that's not too shabby for an 80-mile commute.
11:01Go say hi.
11:03He's working.
11:06Yo, you want some of this?
11:08Hold in, baby!
11:11Oh.
11:12Hi.
11:13Uh, hi.
11:14Bye.
11:15Bye.
11:16Bye.
11:17Bye.
11:18Oh, my God, you're blushing.
11:20I'm not blushing.
11:21We made right at the candy button factory and no one opened the windows.
11:26Please rise for our national anthem.
11:32Buttons, let's go.
11:37I wonder where Tammy is.
11:41Bless her heart.
11:42She probably wanted me to have the spotlight.
11:44Hi, y'all.
11:45I'm so sorry I can't be there a person, but I'm battling a cold.
11:50But it's probably for the best because I do not want to still focus from the important events of the day.
11:55So, in honor of homecoming and, of course, our country, I'm going to try to muster the energy to sing the national anthem.
12:03Okay.
12:04Of America.
12:05Oh, say, can you see by the dawn's early light what so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
12:23Oh, say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave o'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
12:49Oh, say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave o'er the land of the brave?
12:53Oh, there's more.
12:54Oh, there's more.
12:55Oh, there's more.
12:57Oh, there's more.
12:58Oh, there's more.
12:59Oh, there's more.
13:01The land of the free
13:09And the home of the brave
13:19And where is that man who so vauntingly swore
13:25That the havoc of whom are the land of the free
13:37And the home of the brave
13:47All must be it ever
13:55And the home of the brave
14:07Play American football!
14:11The girl knows how to milk a moment, I tell you
14:15You're a grand old flag, you're a high-flying flag
14:19And forever in peace, may you wave
14:23Just wanted to wish you good luck today, Coach.
14:28Me too, Coach. I'm not gonna need it.
14:30We're about to cheer so hard, you're not gonna know what hit you.
14:32All right, then. Let's play some football.
14:34All right.
14:35I'd smack you on the backside, but I'm only allowed to do that to my players, so...
14:37That's a good call, Coach.
14:40Ooh, dogey.
14:42All right, y'all. We got a little mini rivalry going on with my husband.
14:45So what do you say we cheer our team to victory?
14:47Yeah.
14:48All right.
14:49Five, six,
14:5078, and Hedleston zero at the half.
14:55Can we leave?
14:58No, we've got another half.
15:00Yo, yo, yo, my boys.
15:05What's going on?
15:08Yo, why Eric? Who gives, man?
15:10I'm not allowed to talk to you.
15:11Why?
15:12It's part of our superstition.
15:13You're the reason for our winning streak.
15:15We've had lots of games since you left.
15:16But you're my boys.
15:17I'm sorry, bro. This conversation did not happen.
15:20Do not tell Agent Eric. You know he's crazy.
15:22Tell me what?
15:23Oh, nothing. Nothing, baby. Let's go. Good game.
15:26Yeah, yeah.
15:30Coach.
15:31Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:32Let's crush this team.
15:33That is the spirit. Honey, cheer your heart out.
15:35Cheer doesn't win football games.
15:36I know you didn't just say that to me.
15:37I know every play they're gonna run, you let me call it out so our team can win.
15:40First of all, that's cheating.
15:41Second of all, why don't you use this energy and focus on bonding with your team?
15:44That sucks.
15:45Well, sometimes life sucks.
15:46That hasn't been my experience.
15:48Oh.
15:49Crystal, I thought you weren't coming.
15:51My parents wanted me to get my championship ring.
15:54Aww.
15:55So I could sell it.
15:56Aww.
15:57Please join me in honoring last year's national championship cheer squad.
16:01This is the spirit I'm trying to bring back to Heatletune and my cheer team.
16:05Although, if I'm being honest, being back here, it feels like my homecoming.
16:10Starting with the coach.
16:17Are they booing me?
16:18I'm pretty sure they're just saying Boone because they saw me walk up there.
16:22And current coach of our conference rival, Courtney Potter.
16:30Boone's wife!
16:31Boone's wife!
16:35Are you kidding me?
16:36We're gonna wipe this school off the map.
16:38The map.
16:39But our hearts do weep for the sunken ones of East-South Oklahoma.
16:42May they rise again.
16:48Girl.
16:49They did not just boo you.
16:50Nobody talked about our coach except us after practice.
16:53And that one time you wore khakis.
16:55Allegedly.
16:56Not the time.
16:57Sally.
16:58And that was a beige jean.
16:59Of course.
17:00DeMarcus, do you really know every play that SESJC's gonna run?
17:03Hell yeah.
17:04I had to know the play so I can always end up with the ball.
17:06All right.
17:07No matter what happens, do not learn any lessons from me for the next 30 minutes.
17:11Okay, girl.
17:13Hey!
17:17Run to safety blitz.
17:18All right, y'all.
17:19Everybody shake your ****.
17:20Watch out for the safety blitz.
17:21Everybody shake your ****.
17:22Watch out for the safety blitz.
17:23Everybody shake your ****.
17:24Watch out for the safety blitz.
17:25Everybody shake your ****.
17:26Watch out for the safety blitz.
17:27Everybody shake your ****.
17:28Watch out for the safety blitz.
17:29Everybody shake your ****.
17:30Watch out for the safety blitz.
17:31Watch out for the safety blitz.
17:32Watch out for the safety blitz.
17:33Everybody shake your ****.
17:34Everybody shake your ****.
17:35Watch out for the safety blitz.
17:36Watch out for the safety blitz.
17:37They know we're coming.
17:38Audible.
17:39Audible.
17:40Audible.
17:41They know they're playing.
17:42Number one.
17:43Number one.
17:44Number one.
17:45Get him.
17:46No, no, no, no, no.
17:49I did that! All you airs can stalk it!
18:05Oh! Oh. Oh, no, you didn't!
18:11Roll, buttons, roll!
18:12We avoid this!
18:15Looks like we found our rival.
18:19Touch me like a tiger.
18:23Yeah, cause we are vibin'.
18:26No, ma'am.
18:27Please let me go out there. None of these cheerleaders know how to fight.
18:29Absolutely not.
18:32Do not get hurt or caught.
18:35We are vibin'. You know that I like it.
18:38Yeah, cause we are vibin'.
18:40I thought you were about to hold the ball.
18:41Uh, yes.
18:42I bet that was going to be very good.
18:45Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:47Would you like to go out sometime?
18:49Yes, please, yes.
18:50Yeah.
18:50No, yes, yes.
18:51Sick!
18:54Looks like someone has a date.
18:56It's me!
18:56I have a date!
18:57Saturday!
18:58Get over here!
18:59Get over here!
19:00Saturday is free.
19:02Oh!
19:03Oh!
19:04Oh!
19:05Oh!
19:06Oh!
19:07Oh!
19:08Oh!
19:09Oh!
19:10Oh!
19:11Oh!
19:12Oh!
19:13Oh!
19:14Oh!
19:15Yeah!
19:16Cheer builds team spirit.
19:17It allows kids to express themselves in ways they normally can't.
19:20Most importantly, it's about knowing somebody always has your back.
19:25Sammy Davis is the squad of five for attacking the cheerleaders!
19:28How the 10 wins!
19:29No!
19:30No!
19:31No!
19:32Yes!
19:33Yes!
19:34Yes!
19:35Yes!
19:36Yes!
19:37Oh, my God!
19:41These can't beat the spirit of this place.
19:43Yeah!
19:48They say you can never go home again.
19:50Hey!
19:51And in this case, they're right.
19:52I have been banned from Sammy Davis Senior Junior Pendant Appeal.
19:59How was the kale?
20:00I pretty much hated it.
20:01But guess what I hated more?
20:02The garbanzos.
20:03Is that a real thing?
20:04I thought the corn had gone bad.
20:05No, that's a real bean.
20:06No, what I hated was actually seeing you cheer for another team.
20:11Made me a little bit jealous.
20:13Did it now?
20:14Yes, it did.
20:15Also, didn't love that you were calling out my plays.
20:17Okay.
20:18Well, I am sorry about that.
20:19But I just, I couldn't stand being booed at a place that was, you know, that was my home.
20:26Oh, my love.
20:28If it makes you feel any better, SDSJC was never your home.
20:32Booing it does not.
20:33What I'm saying is, it doesn't matter what school you're at, because your home is right
20:38here with me.
20:39Oh, baby.
20:40Come on.
20:41Mmm.
20:42Hold on.
20:43Uh oh, it's getting serious.
20:46Boys, there's about 40 odd pounds of steak in the garage freezer, why don't y'all help
20:54yourself?
20:55Yeah, yeah, but not too much.
20:56Leave, leave some of it.
20:57You can take most of it.
20:58Let's keep it to about eight ounces of person.
20:59No, let's even quickly.
21:00Okay, you got, I, I, I, I'm sorry.
21:01Nope.
21:02It's just that your mascot kicked my ass off.
21:04Ooh, you still smell like the dumpster at an Outback Steakhouse.
21:06That gonna be a problem?
21:07I'm gonna play through.
21:08God, I love you too.
21:09Yeah.
21:10Mama, look!
21:11Mama, look!
21:12Mama, look!
21:13Mama, look!
21:14Mama, look!
21:16Mama, look!
21:17Mama, look!
21:18D2
21:20Suddenly, P
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