00:00I don't know about you, Solana, Jimmy, my social media feed this morning, all day, has been inundated with clips from the Not Just Football podcast with Cam Hayward.
00:20And I don't know who else who's a fan of this show has also been inundated with these clips.
00:30But Joey Porter was on Cam Hayward's podcast.
00:36And Joey Porter, who we know as Dolphins fans and as a guy who hung out with Crowder, Joey Porter's crazy.
00:44He's wild.
00:45And Joey Porter said the one teammate on this podcast, the one teammate he was unable to out crazy was Channing Crowder.
00:57I think this is revisionist history, though.
01:00Well, he seemed pretty adamant.
01:01In fact, he said that you would be appreciative of his stories.
01:06Have you seen all the clips that are going wild?
01:07I'm sure you're getting.
01:09I saw the pee one, the pee bottle thing.
01:12Which we know, by the way, on this show is true, because when he drives it, like he doesn't have to be driving across country.
01:19Like if he's taking a family trip to Orlando.
01:23Oh, that's three and a half hours.
01:25And there's plenty of stops along the way.
01:27It's not like it's Alligator Alley at night.
01:30It's, you know, just replete with stops.
01:33Crowder likes to drive around with a pee bottle.
01:36And even wants the party going.
01:38Even wants the kids to pee in the pee bottle.
01:40Why would he stop?
01:42And Joey Porter was saying in meetings.
01:45Yeah.
01:46I don't want to miss a play.
01:47I got to be on top of tight end seams and all go special.
01:50I leave.
01:51I go pee.
01:52I come back.
01:52I miss something.
01:53I mess it up.
01:54Yeah.
01:54But if you would have missed the coverage plays, it's not like you were doing a lot of coverage anyways.
01:58Right.
01:59I was in position.
02:00They were just better than me.
02:01You also once revealed that at times, especially a night of heavy drinking, you'll leave a pee bottle on your nightstand.
02:08Yeah.
02:09Yeah.
02:10Well, he doesn't like to get out of the bed.
02:11He doesn't like to.
02:13I don't want to inconvenience myself to pee.
02:16Right.
02:16I shouldn't say that he doesn't like to get out of bed or whatever.
02:19He finds it acceptable.
02:21But we've known this for a decade.
02:23He finds it acceptable to have pee bottles laying around everywhere in his car.
02:30Like he doesn't even feel the need.
02:32Like I get angst going to the doctor and they say pee in the cup.
02:38And then, you know, you have to put it in like the little side panel door and they've got to come get it.
02:42Yeah.
02:43I get angst thinking that it might be there for a minute.
02:47It's urine.
02:48Like, like, let's get it moving.
02:51He has them laying around all over the place.
02:53Doesn't care.
02:54Leave him there for weeks.
02:56It's terrible.
02:57Well, anyway, that was part of what Joey Porter was saying on this podcast.
03:02What else was he saying?
03:03That you don't like to bathe.
03:04That you like to bathe in the swimming pool.
03:07That chlorine does the job.
03:10When he first got down here.
03:11Because PZ came what?
03:13Was it 08?
03:14Yeah.
03:14I was here for a while when PZ came.
03:16So he comes here.
03:17And I knew Pot Dog, James Ferrier, and all those guys that play for the Steelers as well.
03:22Everybody that I knew told him, you got to call it Crowder.
03:25You and Crowder going to get along.
03:26Because they both knew we were kind of wild.
03:27We like to party, hang out, and all.
03:29So he comes to the house the first time.
03:31And he was like, hey, man.
03:32Because I lived a mile away from Dolphin facility.
03:35I lived right down 30th.
03:36So he was like, hey, we were going out.
03:37And he was like, well, I don't got my car down here yet.
03:40They just flew him down or whatever.
03:41He was like, well, I'll ride with you to your house, man.
03:42You get dressed.
03:43And we'll ride to my house.
03:44Let me get dressed.
03:45Or the hotel.
03:46Let me get dressed real fast.
03:48And we'll just, you know, we'll go out.
03:50We'll leave from there.
03:50You're driving.
03:51I said, cool.
03:52I was really messing around.
03:54But he already thought I was crazy.
03:56So I went home, grabbed a bar of soap, went and got in my pool in the backyard.
04:02Rinsed off.
04:03Got a towel.
04:04And, like, didn't look at him or smile.
04:05Just act like I do that every day.
04:07And he was like, see, are you going to wash, man?
04:10I was like, man, it's chlorine.
04:11Chlorine is stronger than soap.
04:12Like, Dove is stronger than chlorine.
04:14And I'm looking at it.
04:15Like, it makes a lot of sense.
04:16Chlorine is stronger than soap.
04:18But I see you're doing a little revisionist history here.
04:20But the truth of the matter is you do not find it necessary to bathe every day.
04:24No, no.
04:25If you don't do anything, you have to create dirt.
04:27Do you wash your car every day?
04:28You wash it when it's dirty.
04:29I just like feeling clean, though.
04:31Do you wash your car when it's dirty?
04:32My car doesn't have body odor.
04:34Like, my car's not a man.
04:37If I run a marathon, I wash.
04:38If I wake up, sit in the living room, watch football, hang out, what am I?
04:45I don't stink.
04:45I like to take a shower.
04:46No, it's psychological.
04:47It's not even that I stink.
04:48I just like to take a shower.
04:49When do you take a shower?
04:50You're wasting water.
04:51I've gone green.
04:52I love the earth.
04:53Well, anyway, that's all over social media, this podcast.
05:01It really is remarkable.
05:03Out of all the people in the world, being unable to out crazy, Joey Porter saying it is truly a feather in your cap.
05:11You know what?
05:11I got some Porter stories I haven't told, but now he's spilling the beans.
05:15I might have to spill the beans on some Porter's crazy foolishness.
05:18All right, fair enough.
05:19I mean, we'll go a little call and response.
05:21I like it.
05:22He busts the window out of my truck because I tried to leave him.
05:27We were driving back from somewhere.
05:29I hit the curb and popped two of my tires.
05:32Two worlds, man.
05:32So I popped my tires on the curb.
05:34Like, I took the curb too fast and hit, like, the side and my right side of my tire, and I had rims, like, 26s.
05:41So the tire's real short, so both my tires pop.
05:45So he gets out of the car.
05:46He's looking, and he's like, man, I panic.
05:48I'm like, damn, I don't want to get, you know, I don't want the police to come, and now they're asking those questions at all.
05:52So I just drive away with two flat tires and leave him.
05:55Then I hear, and he threw a rock and cracked the back window of my truck as I tried to leave him down pines.
06:03Different worlds, man.
06:05I mean, different worlds.
06:08We had a good time, though.
06:09Yeah, it sounds like it.
06:11You and I have different definitions of a good time, but it sounds like you guys are.
06:15Peezy was the one that made me go back to taking my shirt off at the club.
06:19I did it in college.
06:20I got to the league.
06:21I stopped getting naked in the club.
06:23Then Peezy got here, and he took his shirt off.
06:25So I had to match my OG's energy, and we shirt off me.
06:28You know, the Dolphins are in Pittsburgh.
06:30I went to Pittsburgh January 8th, 2017.
06:34The Dolphins played there.
06:35That's the game Matt Moore died at Heinz Field.
06:37Oh, they hit it.
06:38After the game, and it was a blowout by Pittsburgh, it was miserable.
06:42My toes were frozen midway through the first quarter.
06:44Matt Moore died.
06:46Antonio Brown scoring touchdowns.
06:47Like, there was literally, my chicken tenders were frozen.
06:50It was just an awful experience.
06:51We go to a club after the game.
06:54They shut down the club for about an hour.
06:57We couldn't leave the club because somebody was getting arrested outside.
07:00Joey Porter, who was a part of the coaching staff for Pittsburgh that night.
07:05Didn't Joey Porter, and correct me if I'm wrong here, any punch a horse?
07:10Yes.
07:10Yeah, I thought so.
07:11It wasn't a real horse.
07:12It was a mini horse.
07:13Right.
07:14And the horse was, him and his dog was fighting the horse because he has cane corsos.
07:20Yeah.
07:21His dog and the horse were fighting, and he went to get his dog.
07:24Was it his horse or just a random horse?
07:26He lived in Bakersfield, California.
07:29No, it was a wild horse.
07:31I don't know.
07:31There's a horse running around the street.
07:33Well, I mean, that's as absurd as owning a horse in my neighborhood.
07:39In my neighborhood, nobody owns a horse.
07:41So, his dog was about to attack a horse or attack one horse, and he went to get his dog
07:47out of the horse pasture, and the other horse got aggressive, so he swung on it.
07:52And I'm crazy because I don't want to miss a meeting.
07:56I've never punched a horse.
07:59All right.
08:00Y'all haven't lived life, man.
08:01Let me give you the fantasy football report.
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