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00:01Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to Lenny Ray!
00:12It's an extraordinary feeling to think of something
00:17and over the top of your head that makes people laugh.
00:21It's a gift.
00:22Perfect version of a modern man. Attractive. Very funny, which I think is very important.
00:37P.S. My mum, Brackets Jackie, loves you.
00:45And the winner is...
00:47Lenny Bray for Glass Houses.
00:53No! No! No! No, no! No, no!
00:56No, no! No! No, no, no!
00:58The Lombard is going to be asbestos, right?
01:02To be honest, you're not going to be!
01:04And that is the only way to clean up your mouth.
01:06No!
01:08You're not going to be too late for the whole home!
01:11Let me know.
01:12To be honest, let me know!
01:14And I said it was not to be a problem.
01:16You're not going to be a problem.
01:17I don't know.
01:47Faggy, Faggy, please. I don't want to go to bed on an argument, especially not about something so stupid as this.
01:59Do we just...
02:00What, sleep?
02:01Yes.
02:02How are we supposed to go to sleep? Well, this will probably be all over sodding papers tomorrow.
02:06You can sleep fine because you know it's all lies. Nothing happened. Nothing happened.
02:13The neighbours don't know that, do they?
02:15I've never even met this woman.
02:17I know that. Nobody else does.
02:24Are we going to do this every time there's a bogus allegation?
02:28Oh, God. Bloody ridiculous.
02:39And the cleaner doesn't know it's a lie.
02:40Oh, if we're worried about what the cleaner thinks of us, maybe we shouldn't employ her to clean the house.
02:45What I'm saying is it's humiliating.
02:48I don't even know who this woman is. She could be made up for all I know.
02:51Come on. I can still hate it. I can still hate how attritional it is.
02:58This is like being accused of having an affair with a tooth fairy.
03:01It can still make me feel rubbish.
03:13Look.
03:14She's crazy, just like the rest of them.
03:18It's just endless crap. Years of bullshit.
03:22Every single one of them disappears.
03:25The moment they get a stern letter just pointing out, there's no basis for any of it.
03:29There's no evidence.
03:31Nothing. Nothing happened.
03:34It's all made up.
03:35But the papers still go with it, because I'm me.
03:43Look. These sheets, yeah?
03:44They're Egyptian cotton.
03:46They've barely seen our bum cheeks, because we've been in the Maldives.
03:49That's the life we have.
03:51And the price we pay for it is these liars and maniacs.
03:56But why am I telling you this? You know this.
04:00You're a psychotherapist, for God's sake.
04:02I'm sorry.
04:16Just let them write it.
04:20Let them write whatever they want.
04:23TV funny man shags burrito, whatever.
04:26There's never been anyone else.
04:35I tell you every day.
04:39I love you.
04:45Past the edges of time.
04:52What was that?
04:53Should we press the buzzer? It's in the kitchen.
05:08Well, you might need something.
05:09It could be dangerous.
05:11You might need help.
05:12Then we should call the police.
05:13Oh, is he around the doorbell?
05:15Yes.
05:15Oh, my God.
05:26Quick.
05:27Yeah, yeah.
05:27Oh, come on.
05:54Oh, Jesus.
05:55Please.
05:56They attacked me.
05:57Who attacked you?
05:59They took my bike and my phone.
06:02Who?
06:03I don't know.
06:07My phone's upstairs. I'll call you an ambulance.
06:09No, please.
06:12What do you need?
06:16You're the only one that answered.
06:18Do you want to come in?
06:29Can you stand?
06:33Okay.
06:35Come on.
06:37Let's just...
06:39Let's get you sorted out.
06:42Okay.
06:43Come on.
06:44Come on.
06:45Come on.
06:46Come on.
06:55You should just...
06:56Here, sit here.
06:57Sit here.
06:59Here, sit here.
07:00Here.
07:04Sorry.
07:05No, don't be ridiculous.
07:08I know it's late.
07:11Did you hit your head? Are you bleeding?
07:13I don't think we ought to call you an ambulance, you know?
07:16It's okay.
07:17You collapsed.
07:19I think it was just a shock.
07:20I don't know.
07:21You might be concussed.
07:23It's just my shoulder.
07:24You sure about that?
07:26I just need, er, some water.
07:29Right.
07:30Of course.
07:31Yeah.
07:33It was what?
07:34Was it randoms, or...?
07:36Er, I was...
07:38I was delivering pizza.
07:40I was going to number 20.
07:41I got the money and they...
07:43They just come out of nowhere.
07:45We should definitely call the police.
07:47I wouldn't have thought they'd be able to do anything.
07:49You've been robbed.
07:50It'll be long gone.
07:51Well, probably, but...
07:52When my flat got broken into, the police, they didn't even turn up.
07:55Oh, yeah.
07:56But they're a bit quicker around here, mate.
08:00No.
08:03No, please.
08:04Er...
08:07I'll...
08:08I'll go to the station.
08:09I just need to get my shit together.
08:11No problem.
08:12No, please.
08:16I don't know my license.
08:19Oh.
08:20It's only part-time to help me pay my way through uni.
08:25I can't afford to lose this job.
08:31Well, you should definitely report it.
08:34I will. I promise.
08:35And learn to drive.
08:37Yeah.
08:39They can't be allowed to get away with it.
08:41It's fucking feral.
08:42Errolwood.
08:43What were they, kids?
08:44Seventeen.
08:45Eighteen, maybe.
08:46But they were big.
08:48Hopped up on Minecraft and balloons.
08:51And they were fast.
08:52Don't you should get that round here.
08:53There's trouble round here.
08:54It's all planning consent for basement pools.
08:57People are going to afford a basement pool.
08:59They don't usually kick your head in.
09:01Could have done without them stealing my shoes.
09:03Yeah.
09:04Why would they do that?
09:05Don't know.
09:06They're old as well.
09:08All the levers coming off.
09:10Maybe they're mending them.
09:12Maybe they're feral cobblers.
09:13There you go.
09:17Can I get you a shirt?
09:19Mm-mm.
09:21Yeah.
09:22Yeah, please.
09:23If you don't mind.
09:25Yeah, I could stretch to a shirt.
09:26I've got some old trainers here somewhere.
09:28If I can find them.
09:29I don't know where anything is.
09:30They're clean and move things around like a mouse.
09:33Though without the incontinence.
09:56They're great.
09:58They're Dad.
10:00I am fine.
10:01She's walking back over.
10:03Hmm.
10:04Mm-mm.
10:06And she's slain the house.
10:07It's in my area.
10:09Unless
10:11No.
10:12If that was,
10:14do it.
10:16We need to,
10:19it's winter.
10:21If you're selfish?
10:23Oh. Oh. Oh, my God, I'm sorry. Are you okay?
10:41Hi. Found one. Jumped by some kids out delivering pizza.
10:47God, who was it? Teenage mutant ninja wankers.
10:51Jesus, are you hurt?
10:55It's okay.
10:57What do you need?
10:59I'm fine, honestly.
11:00You don't look great.
11:02Take aim for your money. She's just coming for your self-esteem.
11:05I didn't mean that. I mean, we should call an ambulance.
11:07It's just my shoulder.
11:09You collapsed.
11:11Just shot. I'm feeling...
11:14Okay, did you call the police?
11:16No.
11:17I can do that for you.
11:21Wait. He's gonna go to the station when he's got his breath back.
11:29Right.
11:35Did he give you food? Would you like a sandwich?
11:37How quickly do you think I can make a sandwich?
11:39Oh, we're cream.
11:40In a sandwich?
11:41Antiseptic for the... for the cuts.
11:43Please. You don't have to do anything.
11:45Nonsense. Let me make you a sandwich.
11:48Okay, if it's not too much trouble.
11:50Um...
11:51What do we have?
11:52You like kimchi?
11:54He's a victim of violence. He's not a mystery diner.
12:01Just ignore his bad jokes.
12:03I do. Daily.
12:08Don't slice that too thick. You'll ruin a sandwich.
12:17For a minute we thought you were a crazy fan or something.
12:22Like New York?
12:23Yeah. He was intense.
12:25Intense.
12:26Showed up at like one in the morning.
12:28Not like three.
12:29Didn't leave.
12:31Made me sign his arse.
12:32Oh, my God. You're Lenny Bray.
12:47Oh, I'm sorry.
12:48That's all right. I'll see.
12:51I didn't realize that you were... you.
12:54My head's... my head's all...
12:59In your defense, I wasn't this fat 25 years ago.
13:02Um... I like your show.
13:04I mean, I've only...
13:05seen a few episodes.
13:07You're forgiven on the grounds that you were a child when I made them.
13:10That's true.
13:11I'd like to be reminded of my own mortality.
13:15I mean, you're probably tired of hearing this all the time, but...
13:18they were really funny.
13:20You're joking.
13:21If he doesn't hear it three times a day, he gets IBS.
13:26I like the American version, too.
13:28Because it was funnier.
13:30Yeah, we'll pay for this house.
13:32And your bee venom facials.
13:46Why don't you show him the wall?
13:48Oh, no.
13:49People like it.
13:50It has all his, um, memorabilia and silly trophies.
13:55Come on.
13:57He's had a dreadful evening.
13:59That would be cool.
14:01I'd like to be reminded of how fantastic I was.
14:05No, no, no, okay.
14:06Just quickly, though.
14:07Oh, wow.
14:08Nice to have.
14:09Oh, wow.
14:10Nice to have.
14:11Oh, wow.
14:12Nice to have.
14:13Nice to have.
14:14These are all the people you made that show with me.
14:15Oh, wow.
14:16Nice to have.
14:20These are all the people you made that show with.
14:23Finally, that.
14:24Last day, I think.
14:25That's amazing.
14:26Good memories.
14:27People really loved that show, huh?
14:28I've been lucky.
14:30Ha, ha, ha.
14:31Oh, wow.
14:32Nice to have.
14:36These are all the people you made that show with?
14:41Finally, that.
14:42Last day, I think.
14:43That's amazing.
14:44Good memories.
14:45People really loved that show, huh?
14:46I've been lucky.
14:47Ha, ha.
14:48Lenny, is it true that you wrote that first one by hand?
14:49What?
14:50The script for the first episode.
14:51Yeah.
14:52Yeah.
14:53That's amazing.
14:54That's amazing.
14:55Good memories.
14:56People really loved that show, huh?
14:57I've been lucky.
14:58Lenny, is it true that you wrote that first one by hand?
15:01What?
15:02The script for the first episode.
15:03Yeah.
15:04Your sandwich will be...
15:05Can I get an autograph?
15:06Is that still the thing?
15:07It's like getting smallpox, innit?
15:08Well, I don't have a phone.
15:09People won't believe that I've met you otherwise.
15:11Okay.
15:13Yeah.
15:18Your sandwich will be...
15:19Can I get an autograph?
15:21Is that still the thing?
15:22It's like getting smallpox, isn't it?
15:24Well, I don't have a phone.
15:25People won't believe that I met you otherwise.
15:29Okay.
15:35You write me a message?
15:38Sure, yeah.
15:39Who to?
15:41Ben.
15:43So...
15:45Sorry you got beaten up on my road, Ben.
15:47They probably lack strong father figures.
15:49Or like...
15:51I can never forget a day like this.
15:58Or, you know, something.
16:12We could do a photo on Maggie's phone, and then send it on, and then you can get going.
16:25I found the good cheese.
16:26The cheddar had a full head of hair on it.
16:40Great.
16:41Um, maybe you can put that in a Tupperware.
16:42Um, he, uh, Ben would like it's a quick photograph, and we could send that on.
16:55Right.
16:56Right.
16:57Ready?
16:58Oh, that's lovely.
16:59Okay.
17:00Can we get one more for safety?
17:01No, I think we've got it.
17:02I blinked.
17:03Sure.
17:05One, two, three...
17:06One, two, three...
17:07One, two, three...
17:08Yes.
17:09Perfect.
17:10Can I see it?
17:11Um, sure.
17:12Um...
17:13Um, sure.
17:14One, two, three.
17:17One, two, three...
17:18Yes.
17:19Perfect.
17:20Can I see it?
17:21Uh, sure.
17:23Um...
17:23Sure.
17:24One, two, three...
17:26Yes.
17:29Perfect.
17:30Can I see it?
17:31Um, sure.
17:32I could see it.
17:33It's alright.
17:34I'm here.
17:35I can see it.
17:36Right.
17:37Yeah.
17:39I'm sure and you can also just put your email in there
17:44And I'll get you those trainers now. Yeah
17:48So what are you the nine or a ten? What if they come back?
17:52The people that attacked me well, then we should call the police. They can't help. Well, they might they can't
17:58Then we should call the delivery people and see if they can send somebody
18:04It's an Indian restaurant that we closed by now
18:09Not pizza
18:22Hey
18:25It's alright, I'm just gonna grab some trainers now and then we can be done
18:31Okay, hey, and it's been really great to meet you. I'd love to talk some more but it is late now and
18:38You know, I need my funny sleep
18:42Oh, okay. All right. Listen, I'm really honored that you love the show. Okay, I really I mean that I really mean that means a lot
18:53Well when people are on TV, you know, sometimes it's easy to forget that they're behind it all you know, it's just
19:00ordinary and they can get scared
19:03Yeah, and I don't want anyone to be scared now
19:10Okay, we can we could do some more photos. Yeah, you could take take some stuff
19:15I
19:17I
19:19I
19:21I
19:22I
19:24I
19:28I
19:30I
19:32I
19:34I
19:36I
19:38I
19:40Is it too hard to please?
19:42Is it too hard to please?
19:44Your phone.
19:46What? Where?
19:48In the bedroom.
19:50You don't need to do this.
19:54Please. I choose what happens.
19:56Okay, okay.
19:58Please.
20:00Please.
20:02I choose what happens!
20:04I choose what happens now.
20:06Okay.
20:10I choose.
20:12Go!
20:14I choose.
20:16I choose!
20:18I choose!
20:20Go!
20:22Go!
20:24Go!
20:26Go!
20:28Go!
20:30Go!
20:34Go!
20:36Go!
20:38You
21:08Get down
21:23Hey Ben, Ben
21:25I know it might not feel like it, but things can still go well
21:29And maybe you don't believe me, but you should
21:33You should
21:35I'm sorry
21:36No, you're not
21:38Why would I not be sorry?
21:39Because I just tied you up
21:41Ben, Ben
21:43Please talk to me
21:45Why did you come here?
21:55Hey, hey
21:57I'm listening, okay?
21:59No one ever listens to me
22:08Who doesn't listen to you?
22:11Ben, please talk to me
22:13No!
22:14Hey, hey, I'm just... I'm just asking a question, okay?
22:18You don't get to ask me questions
22:20Right, okay, okay, but...
22:22Let's not rush things here, right?
22:27All my life
22:29No one's ever listened to me
22:30I'm listening to you, I'm listening to you right now
22:33When I was four, I got my first new family
22:45When I cried, because I was scared because I wanted my mum
22:51You know what they did?
22:55They put me in the furthest room
22:57My mum at the heavy door
23:03You couldn't hear me from there
23:05That sounds like an awful experience
23:08And not one of them
23:10Cared about a single thing that ever came out of my mouth
23:13And is that why you're here?
23:15Revenge
23:17You want revenge on the world somehow?
23:19Because if there is, then I totally understand
23:22The world hasn't been that nice to you
23:23But do you think this is going to help?
23:26Hurting us
23:29Is that who you think I am?
23:33I think we can all be pushed to revenge if somebody hurts us, but...
23:37The question is, can we stop ourselves?
23:40Shall we stop ourselves?
23:49Where's the script?
23:50What?
23:51The script, the first one, the first one that you wrote
23:54Is that...
23:56Is that what this is about?
23:58Is that what you want?
24:01What, you want a memento, like a fucking souvenir?
24:04Lenny?
24:05You break my house, you bust my ribs, you scare my wife
24:08Lenny!
24:10What, so you could show it off, so it'd be like a fan
24:13Where is the fucking script?
24:16I'm listening to you, I'm listening to you right now
24:19No, it's in the safe, it's in the safe, in the office
24:23It's...
24:25It's...
24:262-0...
24:282-3...
24:292-3-0-4-8-1
24:33Just take it, take it
24:35Take whatever you want and go
24:39Oh!
24:40Oh!
24:42Oh!
24:44Oh!
24:46Oh!
24:47Oh!
24:50Oh!
24:52Oh!
24:54Oh!
25:00You stay here!
25:01Maggie!
25:03What?
25:04I'm gonna go press the button!
25:05Maggie!
25:06Maggie, what if you come back for me?
25:09I'm gonna get some help
25:12I'm gonna get some help.
25:42I'm gonna get some help.
26:12I'm gonna get some help.
26:42I'm gonna get some help.
27:12I'm gonna get some help.
27:42I'm gonna get some help.
28:12I'm gonna get some help.
28:42I'm gonna get some help.
29:12I'm gonna get some help.
29:42I'm gonna get some help.
30:12I'm gonna get some help.
30:14You should go now.
30:23I've just pressed the alarm and the police are coming.
30:27They are on their way right now.
30:28No one's coming.
30:34No one's coming.
30:44No one's coming.
30:54It's okay.
30:56It's okay.
31:00It's okay.
31:01It's okay.
31:02It's okay.
31:04It's okay.
31:18I'm gonna get some help.
31:20I don't know.
31:50I'm sorry.
32:02Look, you've got what you want.
32:04Just leave us alone, please.
32:07I'm used to people wanting me to go away.
32:09Oh, I can't think why.
32:13By the time I was 18, I'd had so many names.
32:16I didn't know who I was anymore.
32:21Must have knocked on a hundred doors asking to see my case files.
32:24Trying to find out.
32:27They said they lost them.
32:30And they were burnt in a fire.
32:34I'm sorry that happened to you.
32:39The system contorts to protect itself.
32:42I said get out.
32:50Must have worked with a lot of people on that show.
32:54Yeah.
32:56Hundreds.
32:59Cast.
33:01Crew.
33:02Takes a lot of hands on deck to make something like that.
33:05Well, because of something you made up.
33:06That's a big responsibility.
33:11Major of the beast.
33:14Major of the beast.
33:22Tell me you're not one of those internet tossbots who doesn't like the ending.
33:26You want me to rewrite it?
33:28Like fucking misery.
33:29Is that what this is about?
33:33They're not commodities, are they?
33:36What?
33:37These people.
33:38You might get out, move on to the next thing, walk away.
33:41But if you use them,
33:44they'd get hurt.
33:46I don't know what this is about.
33:47You want me to confess to what?
33:50Being a prick?
33:52Being a showbiz prick?
33:54Someone who was nasty to your favourite characters?
33:58You want to cancel me?
34:00Okay, right.
34:01You're right.
34:03Throw a canapé into a room full of people I work with.
34:07You're probably going to hit someone I was a wanker to.
34:10You know, actors, directors, producers.
34:14Everything you've heard is probably true.
34:17Is that what you want to hear?
34:21The rich man regrets things.
34:25Well, if it makes you happier, yeah, why not?
34:28I regret it.
34:29But I was just trying to make something good, you know?
34:31And maybe you're here because I did.
34:47I got my case files in the end.
34:52A lot of the pages were black.
34:54There was so much stuff redacted.
34:56But they get a picture of my mum.
34:58Only one I've got.
34:59And it was this.
35:08When she wrote this, I could barely write my own name.
35:15Do you remember her?
35:16I don't know what you're talking about.
35:19Production assistant.
35:21First series.
35:23Make coffee, probably.
35:23Fetch lunch.
35:24You said yourself, I work with a lot of people.
35:29I think you remember my mother.
35:32Well, untie me and we can go through my contacts.
35:36How about that?
35:40Her name was Nell.
35:44You don't remember her?
35:56Who was that?
35:57Apparently someone who handed me an almond croissant a quarter of a century ago.
36:02She knew you.
36:04A lot of people know me.
36:06Yeah, but she wrote about you.
36:07A lot of people write about me.
36:09One minute he says he loves me.
36:17And the next, he's so terrible, I feel like he'd rather I was dead.
36:21Is this a joke?
36:23I don't even know her.
36:24And I know all the reasons why I should live.
36:27But I can't do it anymore.
36:30Leonard.
36:30I swear, I remember her taking me to your set.
36:35I definitely remember being excited.
36:38Being happy.
36:41How long did it take you to ruin all that?
36:48Because she wrote this letter a year after you made that shot.
36:52No, no, that's impossible.
36:56We were together then.
36:57Leonard, what is this?
36:58It's just another liar wanting something he's not going to get.
37:02Go on, take the script.
37:04You can take whatever you want and get out.
37:09She says you told her to do it.
37:13She says you told her maybe she should end it.
37:15If being with you was making her so sad.
37:19Come on.
37:20Come on.
37:22Is that what you did?
37:23No.
37:26Did she tell her to do it?
37:28Look, I'm sorry to ruin your sad story.
37:30I don't even remember meeting your mother.
37:32Never mind falling in love with her.
37:46I sometimes wonder if...
37:49I was in the room when she wrote this.
37:52I'm so sorry for what happened to you.
38:08I know it's tough.
38:10I sometimes wonder if she meant for me to read this one day.
38:17But you have to understand that a lot of people say things about Lenny that just aren't true.
38:22And these lies we just have to deal with, even if it's hard.
38:29Maybe that's why she wrote it on the back of this.
38:32Hey, Nelly.
38:35Sorry I had to leave so early.
38:36I just wanted to let you know, I could never forget a day like this.
38:48Did you write that?
38:50Of course I didn't.
38:51Then why is it in your handwriting?
38:52Is this truly how pathetic and greedy you actually are?
38:58You think you could make me pay you to go away with this horse shit?
39:04Well, I just said that you loved her if the opposite was true.
39:06Leonard.
39:07I never said anything of the sort.
39:08I love you past the edges of time.
39:38Did you tell her to do it?
39:44Tell it to me!
39:47Did you tell her to do it?
39:53I'll tell you what's not in your case, Vile.
39:56Your mother was a fruitcake.
40:00Yeah.
40:02I just told her to shit or get off the pot if she's so unhappy.
40:07And you know what?
40:08I did her a favor.
40:11Shut up!
40:12I know I did because I was there when it happened.
40:31How do you fuck for free?
40:33So, yes, I do remember your pathetic little mother.
40:45I remember the look in her eyes.
40:50Almost...
40:52It almost looked like a smile.
40:53You choose what happens.
41:13You choose what happens.
41:15You choose.
41:16You choose what happens.
41:19It's gonna be okay.
41:25It's gonna be okay.
41:28I...
41:28It's gonna be okay.
41:41Yeah.
41:41Come on. Maggie!
41:44Yeah. Yeah.
41:46Yeah. Cut. Cut them.
41:49Maggie.
41:51Yeah. Yeah. Cut the ties.
41:55Maggie, what are you doing?
41:57What are you doing?
42:11I'm telling the police what happened. What I found when I came out of the shower.
42:29You...attacking this young man.
42:36Because he came here to find out the truth about his mother.
42:42And I stopped it.
42:46Shh.
42:54Maggie.
42:56Shh.
43:06Maggie, don't...
43:08You know what this will do to me.
43:26Shh.
43:37Thank you for calling 999. What's your emergency?
43:49And if you've been affected by the issues covered tonight, find information and support at channel5.com slash helplines.
43:57Next week, Play for Today dives into the pressure of teaching.
44:03A dodgy Ofsted report is just the start in Special Measures next Thursday at 9.
44:09In just a moment, The Philpot Fire, a very British horror story.
44:12If you want to know 10,000 in a month, or are the
44:28famous one for the feast, or in aconnected at 9, 21,僕ets.
44:32And you run away with the fire from walk to night to talk for the Exodus night, and you
44:36will see all of these tropes that come to death.
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