- 3 hours ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:30Thank you, Brando.
00:33It's good to have you home, ma'am.
00:35This is where my story began.
00:39And this is where it ends.
00:43For the hundredth time, you have your victim
00:46and your suspect mixed up.
00:48I am the victim.
00:49May, Maxine.
00:51Norma, the suspect, have frame with May.
00:53Norma screamed, Maxine, don't kill me.
00:56Then I heard a gunshot.
00:58And now there's no more Norma.
01:00You also thought you saw Linda shoot the president.
01:02So you need to get your organs checked,
01:04Sergeant, Detective, whatever you are.
01:06Special Agent Trainee.
01:08And you seem to be in the middle
01:11of every major crime in Palm Beach.
01:14Flattery will get you nowhere.
01:16But I simply will not confess to a murder of a woman
01:20who is not even dead.
01:22Then why are they reading Norma's will across town?
01:26Who's the they reading Norma's will across town?
01:28To Pinky, my Cuban brother from another mother
01:32and his beautiful wife, Raquel.
01:35Ah.
01:36So, the old lady finally knocked off the old lady, huh?
01:40I wouldn't go that far, but my aunt has been missing
01:45long enough to declare her dead.
01:47Three days.
01:48So, as soon as we read Norma's will leaving me everything?
01:53Us, everything.
01:55Mi casa, su casa.
01:56Ah, ahora sÃ.
01:57We casa.
01:58And Pinky doesn't have to kill you.
02:00I love that.
02:04She meant kill as a figure of speech, right?
02:06She did not.
02:08Douglas?
02:09Pinky's a mobster, Mitzi.
02:10We had a deal to turn this house into a nightclub.
02:13It fell through.
02:14I've been a marked man ever since.
02:20Robert, what are you doing here?
02:23Mr. Diaz is named in Norma's will,
02:25and according to this most recent codicil,
02:27he is the only person named.
02:29The mansion and everything inside is his, and his alone.
02:32What about our baby, the generation-skipping trust?
02:35It will remain skipped until Mitzi gives birth.
02:38If you'll go ahead and sign Mr. Diaz.
02:39Robert.
02:40Robert.
02:41How do you feel about real estate?
02:44Pinky can't have the house, Douglas.
02:46But if Pinky hears that, he's going to kill me.
02:48Robert, brother, please.
02:50I'm about to be a father to a beautiful baby boy.
02:52Or girl.
02:53Hopefully a boy, but a father, Robert.
02:56Please.
02:57We'll name the baby, Robert.
03:00Or Roberta.
03:01Please.
03:02We'll name the baby Robert.
03:03Or Roberta.
03:05Please.
03:06No.
03:07Robert!
03:08Look at you!
03:09Oh, it's a pleasure to see you.
03:11What's going on?
03:13I think there was a wrong decision.
03:14I could not have promised this house.
03:15This house doesn't belong to him.
03:19This house does not belong to him.
03:20What's going on?
03:21I think there was a wrong decision.
03:24I think there was a wrong decision.
03:26This house doesn't belong to Dobla, but this house is mine.
03:29Just hunker down quickly.
03:31I can't hunker. It's bad for the baby bee.
03:34Come on, I will end him.
03:35Not here.
03:37Mi amor.
03:38Where is he?
03:40I have no idea.
03:41When I find him, I'm gonna fucking kill him.
03:43Pinky.
03:45Will's declarations be damned.
03:47You cannot just keep holding me here
03:50without any proof that Norma is even dead.
03:53There's no body.
03:54No body, no death, no murder.
03:55It's the holy trinity of the law.
03:59Amen to that.
04:03Excuse me, sir.
04:03I was just in the middle of a sound legal self-defense.
04:06Any man who is his own lawyer has a fool for a client,
04:09and you are far too pretty to be a fool.
04:11I'm also not a man.
04:13Or a lawyer.
04:14Dr. Dusty Magic, doctor of law and part-time gynecologist.
04:17You have held this woman for three days
04:19without any due cause or proof.
04:21No body, no death, no murder.
04:23That's what I just said.
04:25I knew I heard it somewhere.
04:26You're free to go.
04:30You walk out that door, you're a marked woman, Maxine.
04:33Even if I can't prove you had anything to do with this,
04:37you'll be ruined in this town forever.
04:39Au contraire, Special Agent Trainee Senka.
04:46I will own this town.
04:48Let the record reflect that I'm not your client.
04:57And even if I was, I wouldn't be able to pay you.
04:59Oh, please.
05:00I've been following your story.
05:01You're definitely a woman who could use my help.
05:04And, uh, all my services are completely pro bono.
05:07Okay, well, I don't think anyone does anything for free in this town,
05:10so you can keep your bono to yourself.
05:11Besides, I have a plan to unsully my name,
05:14and it has nothing to do with a lawyer-cum-gono.
05:17How does it feel to be a murderous whore?
05:19When did you realize your marriage is over?
05:21Is that the same dress you wore when you killed Norma?
05:23I see the wind, I see the wind!
05:25I see the wind!
05:26I see the wind!
05:27I see the wind!
05:28That is one fascinating moment.
05:30Oh, everybody!
05:33Ah!
05:35Huh!
05:36Huh!
05:37Huh!
05:38Huh!
05:40Huh!
05:41Hear!
05:42Huh!
05:42Huh!
07:17Maxine's a liability.
07:18What if they found out Norma wasn't murdered?
07:22That she escaped with the help of a certain club ambassador?
07:26Would that be a liability?
07:28Screw it.
07:33Anything to get out of this members-only purgatory.
07:36I always knew you were a reasonable egg, Sidonius.
07:39Transferring the title will require signatures from each of the Palm Royale's founding families.
07:45You mean...
07:45Yes, the three D's.
07:49David Sahl's, the Donahue's, and...
07:54The fucking Delacorte's.
07:56Eddie, I come bearing news and folders.
08:07G'day, partner pal of mine.
08:10Is this the only toilet in town, or are you fully committed to finding new ways to nauseate me?
08:14And shouldn't you be behind bars?
08:15I sprung myself, no thanks to you.
08:18And I had to get out of that front-page murder dress.
08:21Thank God the porters didn't take my luggage.
08:23That's because they took my bags of paper money by mistake.
08:26I called the QE2 with a boast and said the bags had already disembarked in Liverpool.
08:29How can bags disembark without a...
08:32Norma.
08:33That's how she escaped.
08:37She took your cash and my ticket.
08:41Show your work.
08:43After she shot down the chandelier, she slid in the old bootlegging tunnels via the hole in the floor.
08:50Next, after she got her wits about her, she hightailed it to the Delacorte Beach,
08:55where she dropped her belt, thereby implicating May,
08:58before hopping onto a waiting fan boat to catch up to the already departed QE2.
09:05Whereupon, she checked into my cabin.
09:08Goodbye, Palm Beach.
09:10And your bags of money were delivered to her by mistake.
09:12Bags?
09:13I think Norma took the whole kit and caboodle.
09:17Everything's coming up, Angus.
09:21And disembarked in Liverpool.
09:23The steamer trunk.
09:25That miserable clown, Sidonius, wasn't moving a body.
09:28He was taking her luggage to the QE2.
09:30Oh, we have to find her, and we're going to get your cash and clear my name.
09:33That all makes perfect sense, except for one thing.
09:35What?
09:35Norma refuses to stay anywhere but the Ritz,
09:37and every yokel knows Liverpool is Ritz-less.
09:40She's a murderess on the run.
09:42I hardly doubt the specificity of a hotelier is going to matter to her at this point.
09:46Have you never met a rich person?
09:48Operator, get me the London Ritz, please.
09:53London Ritz, how may I assist you?
09:55Yes, may I have Norma Dillacourt's room, please?
09:58I'm sorry, ma'am, but there are no guests here by their name.
10:04Hurrah, we can't give up now.
10:05We've got to call every Euro Ritz there is.
10:07No, I don't have time for this.
10:09If we're going to secure this club, I have some people to see toot sweet.
10:12Speaking of which, how dry is the ink on your divorce papers?
10:16Dry as a Sicilian white?
10:17Why?
10:17You're on a need-to-know basis.
10:20Look, I don't believe you killed Norma,
10:22but I'm a minority opinion in this town,
10:23so unless and until you're found innocent,
10:26you were a silent partner in this deal.
10:28Capiche?
10:30Capiche?
10:30Yes.
10:31Good girl.
10:31Now I'm off.
10:32Good luck clearing your name.
10:42My name.
10:42London Ritz, how may I assist you?
10:53Yes, excuse me, I've misspoke earlier.
10:56I'm looking for a Maxine Dillacourt plus.
11:00Apologies, ma'am, you just missed her.
11:03She checked out this morning.
11:04Seriously?
11:06So you want an APB all across Europe
11:08because somebody checked into a London Ritz under your name?
11:11Okay, well, what about the trophies
11:13and the trophy room at the Dillacourt?
11:15Anne can cross-reference the trophies
11:17with the Shaughnessy obituaries.
11:19Start there.
11:21And then once you have something concrete,
11:23I'll see about that tracker.
11:25I am.
11:27Oh, thank you, thank you.
11:28Get off of me.
11:30If my higher-up saw us,
11:31they can blow up this entire unofficial
11:32off-the-books investigation.
11:34Okay.
11:35If there's one thing I'm great at,
11:36it's being subtle.
11:37Yeah.
11:37Okay.
11:38Bye.
11:38Okay, bye.
11:39I'll call you later about the case.
11:42Unofficially.
11:43Thanks.
11:43Off-the-books.
11:45I want to rip off that spacesuit
11:47and blast your rockets.
11:49How about this?
11:51Beam me up, Robbie.
11:53Cling on to my hips
11:54and tickle my G-Spock.
11:58All right.
12:00So what does it mean?
12:01It's from a TV show.
12:03Let me read this one.
12:06It says,
12:07I saw your picture in the paper
12:10and I had to write.
12:11You might have forgotten me,
12:13but I'll always remember you.
12:17Why'd you stop?
12:21Some of these get really personal
12:24for some reason.
12:26Wait.
12:26We all have a past.
12:30As much as I would love
12:32to keep reading air
12:34and mail.
12:37I
12:37I have to get to work.
12:41Come on.
12:42Listen,
12:43I don't know
12:44if I should come here again.
12:47It doesn't look good.
12:48That's not what you were saying
12:52half an hour ago.
12:54Your best friend
12:56is a suspect
12:57in Norma's disappearance.
12:59You inherited a fortune
13:00in her house.
13:00It could look like
13:01you two were in coots.
13:03Well, first of all,
13:04Norma is not dead.
13:07She's just a very complicated woman
13:08and Maxine is another
13:10very complicated woman
13:11and this is just another
13:12complication between them.
13:16Were you expecting someone?
13:18It sounds like a bunch of Vespers.
13:21No way!
13:23It's a duck off of me!
13:28You shoot, Clive!
13:32Shoot, I say!
13:33Returning to the scene
13:34of the crime?
13:35What happened to the dress
13:36you killed Norma in?
13:40You!
13:41That, sir,
13:42is your doing!
13:44What are you here to do?
13:44Twist the knife even more?
13:47Actually,
13:47I was taking a statement
13:49from Mr. Diaz.
13:51More like making a statement
13:52to Mr. Diaz!
13:54Slandering me?
13:56Whispering poisonous
13:57in your windows in his ear?
13:58Well, listen up
13:59because I
14:00can whisper too.
14:02Teleport, please!
14:04You will never
14:05turn him
14:07against me.
14:09He is my best friend.
14:11Do you know what that means?
14:12Mr. Brant,
14:14you listen to me
14:17and you listen good.
14:21Consider your investigation
14:27compromised,
14:27Special Agent Poopypants McGee.
14:33Find me later, sweetie!
14:34One more two!
14:35Maxine!
14:37Maxine!
14:38Maxine!
14:39Another one!
14:41I got you.
14:46Maxine,
14:47what are you doing?
14:49Proving that Norma's a murderer,
14:51so I can prove I'm not a murderer,
14:52so I can still buy the Pomeroy out
14:53with Evelyn.
14:54Norma is not a m-
14:55Why is everybody accusing
14:56each other of murder?
14:57Because!
14:59Douglas' death declaration,
15:01it has framed me
15:02for Norma's disappearance.
15:04I'm surprised he's
15:05letting you stay here anyway.
15:07Well, he doesn't have a choice
15:08because Norma
15:10left this house
15:11for me and her will.
15:12And everything else.
15:14Wait, but if Norma's
15:15leaving you everything,
15:16that means she's leaving
15:17Douglas nothing
15:18and I get half of that,
15:19which is...
15:20which is nothing.
15:24After everything I've been through,
15:25I'm gonna be homeless by half?
15:26Come on, you can stay here
15:27as long as you need.
15:28But I think it's best
15:30if you move to the pool house.
15:33Why?
15:34There's like a million bedrooms.
15:35Yeah, I know, Maxine,
15:36but with the investigation,
15:38Tom says it's better
15:39if we're not seen together.
15:41Tom?
15:42Tom Sanka?
15:43Who gives a flying fig
15:45what Tom Sanka thinks?
15:46I...
15:47Tom?
15:53Are you sure you're in a Muratu?
15:55It's not what you think.
15:56It's, uh...
15:57I actually hope it is
15:59what I think.
16:00Because if I can
16:01compromise the investigation
16:03from the outside,
16:04you can compromise it
16:05from the inside.
16:05I don't compromise anything,
16:07Maxine.
16:07I like the guy.
16:09I more than like.
16:10He's accusing me
16:11of murder, Robert.
16:12This is my life.
16:13He can send me to jail.
16:14Please.
16:15You know Norma
16:15better than anyone.
16:16She's got to have
16:16a secret or ten.
16:19Nothing I can think of.
16:21Well, keep thinking.
16:25I'm not going to get
16:26these trophies
16:27to Ann Holiday.
16:33Ew, I think I found
16:34a finger bone.
16:37Oh, thank God.
16:37It's just a panda.
16:39All right.
16:41Palm Beach is no longer safe, Perry.
16:43In these unprecedented times,
16:46we can't trust
16:47the powers that be
16:48to protect us anymore.
16:49We have to be
16:50the powers that be.
16:53There is a void.
16:55We must fill the void.
16:57We must become
16:58the void.
17:01You
17:01must become
17:03mayor.
17:04I don't want
17:06to be mayor.
17:08Too bad.
17:09Behind every great man
17:10is an even greater woman,
17:12and this greater woman
17:14is going to be
17:14the next first lady
17:15of Palm Beach.
17:17Ta-da!
17:21It's a war hall.
17:25Oh!
17:26Would you invite them?
17:27No.
17:32Perry!
17:32Doug Arito!
17:33Ah, my best man!
17:35My best friend!
17:37My best brother!
17:38Mmm.
17:39Norma
17:39gave our house
17:41to the pool boy.
17:42So we were wondering,
17:43could we, uh,
17:44use your place
17:44to hide out from Pinky?
17:46As the man of the house,
17:47let me say
17:48mi casa
17:49and this tu casa.
17:50This is your big idea, Douglas,
17:52for us to sleep
17:53on Perry's couch.
17:54Oh, no, they...
17:55This is no way
17:56to treat the mother
17:57of your unborn meal ticket.
17:59Come with me, Mitzi.
18:00We have a guest room.
18:02Please.
18:02I'll show you around.
18:04Have you seen our pool?
18:06Hello, Perry.
18:07Oh, Douglas, good.
18:08You're here, too.
18:09Two birds, one stoke.
18:10Gentleman, a warden, private.
18:12Help yourself, Evelyn.
18:14Don't worry, Dinah.
18:15I can be alone
18:16with other people's husbands.
18:17No offense, Mitzi.
18:23Everyone has their cause.
18:25Dinah had pediatric cancer.
18:27Mary had...
18:28something about fiber.
18:31And for me,
18:32I have decided
18:33to devote the rest of my days
18:35solemnly, humbly,
18:36and with complete selflessness
18:38to the cause of preservation.
18:42Now, gentlemen,
18:43as you know,
18:43our very way of life
18:45is gasping on a ventilator.
18:48Do we pull the plug?
18:49No.
18:50We have Palm Beach,
18:51hike up our slingbacks,
18:52and get to work.
18:53Now, our beloved Palm Royale
18:55is in desperate need
18:56of a facelift.
18:57Could you not agree more?
19:00Hmm?
19:00Some mixed medical metaphors,
19:03but okay.
19:04Then it's settled.
19:05I will head up
19:06the preservation committee.
19:08All I need
19:09are the John Hancocks,
19:12a Vodonahue,
19:14and a Delacorte.
19:15So, the Palm has financial trouble?
19:18If so,
19:19we've got good heads
19:20for these real estate
19:21kind of thingies.
19:22No, no, no.
19:22This isn't a real estate thingy.
19:24This is a Nevelyn Rollins thingy.
19:26Oh.
19:29Fine, I'll create
19:30an advisory board thingy
19:32and put you two on it
19:33just as soon as you sign.
19:35Deal?
19:37You're welcome to stay here
19:38as long as you want.
19:40Norma told me
19:41you'd all start being nice to me.
19:45You've still got
19:46that Black Widow stain,
19:48and you're hoping
19:48that by cozying up to me
19:50some of my new girl shininess
19:51will rub off on you.
19:54True.
19:54But what's also true,
20:00little Mitzi Mitz,
20:01is that we women
20:03always have each other's backs
20:04when push comes to shove.
20:06All you seem to do
20:07is fight like rancid coosies.
20:11You'll see.
20:14Do you have a plan?
20:16There's a trust for my baby
20:17with $82 million in it,
20:19so that's good.
20:22A lot can happen
20:23in five months.
20:25Believe me,
20:26I know what it's like
20:27to be engaged
20:27to a much older man
20:28who could die at any moment.
20:30Oh, Douglas is only 50.
20:32Listen, little girl.
20:33It is a dark,
20:34dangerous world out there.
20:36Presidential assassinations,
20:38murderous, musical,
20:40hippie communes.
20:41We are all in danger.
20:42You, me,
20:44your baby,
20:45me.
20:46To be safe,
20:47a woman has to have power.
20:53Stick with me.
20:55Maybe our shine
20:56can rub off on each other.
21:00Counter proposal.
21:02If the club needs cash,
21:04we could invest.
21:05For a controlling interest,
21:07of course.
21:08Of course.
21:09I'd eat my teeth
21:13before teaming up
21:14with you two chuckle fucks.
21:15Hey, you do not talk
21:16to my stag brother like that.
21:19This man is going to be mayor.
21:21Yeah, and this man
21:22is going to be a millionaire
21:24as soon as his baby
21:25pops out of that lady.
21:28Don't count your chickens.
21:29A lot can happen
21:30in five months.
21:36So what do you say
21:36to our terms?
21:39One day,
21:41you two will learn
21:42the charity starts at home.
21:44Except this ain't charity.
21:46And I'm not at home.
21:49How's this for charity?
21:50Go fuck yourselves!
22:01Fuck you!
22:02Whoa.
22:02Once the noise and scandal
22:09of divorce quiets,
22:10there's just silence
22:12and loneliness.
22:19If a woman falls in public
22:20and no one catches her,
22:22does anyone hear her cry?
22:24Robert, can I sleep with you?
22:44Sure.
22:44I'm scared.
23:00I'm scared.
23:05Me too.
23:06Take that, cop?
23:22Now who's the persona non-gly?
23:27Strumpet!
23:28Is Robert Diaz
23:29upset about your new lover?
23:31Robert Diaz is not my lover!
23:32Get out of my bush!
23:33Are you still a murderous whore?
23:35His investigation is compromised.
23:37He should be the one
23:38in hot water.
23:38But it's always easier
23:39to blame the woman, isn't it?
23:40It is!
23:41She's a murdery,
23:42man-eating divorce ad.
23:48That poor slut.
23:49She keeps making things
23:50worse for herself.
23:51And now Dinah thinks
23:52she can run her imbecile
23:53husband for mayor?
23:55I don't know why
23:56you made Maxine partner.
23:57We never discussed it.
23:59And it doesn't matter
23:59until we can get
24:00Delacorte and Donahue
24:01to stop diddling
24:02each other's donkeys
24:03and play ball.
24:04The whole deal's dead anyway.
24:08Maybe not.
24:12I haven't been down here
24:14in a while.
24:16Excuse me.
24:17Can I have a minute?
24:19Hey, Addie!
24:20Come on.
24:21Come on.
24:22Come on.
24:23Come on.
24:24Come on.
24:25Come on.
24:26Come on.
24:27Come on.
24:28Come on.
24:29Come on.
24:30Come on.
24:31What are those?
24:37Dinah's love letters.
24:38To me.
24:39Here.
24:40What am I gonna do
24:41with them?
24:42Tell her you'll give them
24:43to the press
24:43if Perry doesn't sign.
24:46You don't really
24:47want to do that.
24:48You want leverage?
24:49Future first lady
24:50of Palm Beach or not,
24:52if the papers print
24:53all the smutty stuff
24:53she wrote to me,
24:54she'll never be able
24:55to show her face
24:56around here again.
24:57What kind of
24:58smutty stuff?
24:59You don't want me
25:01to answer that.
25:02So do yourself a favor
25:03and don't read them.
25:07These don't mean
25:07anything to me anymore.
25:09They're a part of my past.
25:11If they can help
25:12secure our future,
25:14what would Evelyn Rollins do?
25:16You mean Evelyn Rollins
25:20Martino's?
25:30I'm scared, Doug.
25:32What's our plan?
25:35Well, Maxine was always
25:36in charge of the planning.
25:37Hey, what is it?
25:45Well, I might have a plan.
25:49Or, not a plan per se,
25:52but maybe more of a crazy
25:54notion of an idea.
25:56Yeah?
25:57Hit me.
25:58We're getting married.
26:12We're getting married.
26:13Oh!
26:13Oh, that's typically
26:14what engaged me.
26:15Today!
26:16Right now.
26:17We want our bundle
26:18of joyful buns in the oven
26:20to be legitimate
26:21no matter what happens.
26:23Can we take your car
26:24down to the courthouse?
26:25Absolute-a-mole.
26:26Oh, no, actually, Perry.
26:29Can you drive?
26:30If Pinky's goons see me,
26:31then I'll be wearing
26:32a Cuban necktie
26:33to my own wedding, right?
26:36What a completely wonderful
26:38and absolutely organic plan.
26:41You having an affair
26:42with that jerk?
26:43No!
26:44It's called a long con.
26:45You should know that.
26:47And can't you do
26:47something about that?
26:49Sorry, I took a sabbatical
26:50from the shiny sheet
26:51to work pro bono
26:52for the FBI.
26:52I think our best bet
26:53at rehabbing your image
26:55is for us to
26:56prove that Norma's alive
26:57and for you to stop
26:58pulling stupid stunts
26:59like this one.
27:01All right.
27:03Okay.
27:04What's the update,
27:05Hardy Girls?
27:06We connected Norma's trophies
27:07to the Palm Beach obits.
27:09Okay.
27:10We have enough overlap
27:10to be suspicious.
27:12Sounds official.
27:13By making concierge calls,
27:14we've been able to track her
27:15from London
27:16to Paris
27:18to, we think, Switzerland.
27:20But her trouble's cold
27:21in the Alps.
27:21Well, that makes sense.
27:23It's just mountains
27:24and snow there, I think.
27:26Not what we meant.
27:27Once she enters Switzerland,
27:28we lost all sign of her.
27:32Can't you just
27:33send an agent over there
27:34to scour the area?
27:36We are the only two
27:36working on this unofficial
27:38off-the-books case
27:39and technically
27:39and don't even work here.
27:41Well, I demand justice.
27:43Not just for me,
27:44but for all the children
27:45of the world.
27:46There is a dangerous
27:47killer on the lam.
27:48We don't have
27:48any actual proof of that.
27:50All we know for sure
27:51is someone is checking
27:51into European ritzes
27:53under your name.
27:54I guess we just continue
27:55to divide and conquer.
27:57Right?
27:58Keep tracking.
28:00Ah, I'm gonna take my case
28:02to the press.
28:06Soldiers?
28:12I would like to speak
28:13with your new editor.
28:14He's at lunch, ma'am.
28:15Well, when he returns,
28:16will you please tell him
28:17to focus on real journalism
28:19instead of printing stories
28:20about me sleeping
28:21with a cop who got me
28:21off last night?
28:23No, that didn't sound
28:24very good.
28:25Don't print that.
28:25Don't write that.
28:27There's my star.
28:29You?
28:30I knew you'd be
28:31good for business.
28:32You've been feeding
28:33the shiny sheet stories
28:34about me?
28:35Selling.
28:36How fairy double dare you?
28:38This is just the way
28:39it works.
28:39The law and the press,
28:40old bedfellas.
28:42Besides, I'm working
28:42pro bono.
28:43How else am I gonna get paid?
28:44Here, make sure you give
28:45these pictures to your editor.
28:47You know I'm not a murderer.
28:48Why don't you just tell them
28:50to print the truth?
28:50Oh, you don't want them
28:51to print the truth?
28:52What?
28:53Of course I do.
28:53You want them to print
28:54that your husband left you
28:55for a younger woman
28:56and you're shacking up
28:57in a pool house?
28:58No, I don't think so.
29:00They pity aging divorcees,
29:02but they find accused
29:04murderess is sexy.
29:07Who said anything
29:07about being sexy?
29:08I just did.
29:09And you can put
29:10that in the paper.
29:11I'm a good person.
29:14I'm not a trolloping trollop.
29:18You know, every good name
29:20could use a pinch of bad,
29:21don't you think?
29:22I want you to look
29:23into your heart
29:24and tell me that's not true.
29:27Now, like the card says,
29:30let's make some magic.
29:31Maxine Hortons?
29:41I'm not in the mood
29:42to do any autographs
29:43right now.
29:44Ow!
29:45Ow!
29:46What the?
29:47Do I know you?
29:48You certainly know my husband.
29:50Keep your hands
29:52off my man.
29:54I really like that.
30:19There's just a piece.
30:20There's something about
30:21his hair.
30:21He's fantastic.
30:22I like small women.
30:23I've always liked
30:24my first wedding
30:25was pretty small.
30:26I mean, there was
30:26in the car bed.
30:27It was really small.
30:28Wow.
30:29That was fun, right?
30:30That was fun, right?
30:31That was fun.
30:32It was such a good thing.
30:33It was nice.
30:34I'm really happy
30:35to be married,
30:36but this isn't
30:38how I pictured
30:38my wedding day.
30:40I was looking forward
30:41to all the gifts
30:42and cake
30:43and the dress,
30:45everything that makes
30:46a wedding feel special.
30:47And I don't want
30:49to get back in the trunk.
30:50What?
30:51Mitzi, that's just the deal.
30:52So pretzel up, okay?
30:54Pretzel up?
30:55Yeah, pretzel up.
30:56Come on, Mitzi,
30:56let's pretz.
30:57I promise I will give you
30:58the biggest, most
30:58specialist wedding
30:59that Palm Beach
31:00has ever seen.
31:01Oh, my God.
31:01Just a normal promise,
31:02okay?
31:03I can see in your eyes
31:04you're angry, Mitzi,
31:05but I'm still in hiding,
31:07so that means you're
31:07still in hiding, baby,
31:08so there you go.
31:10Oh, dog!
31:11That's a good girl, Mitzi.
31:13I was on a swivel.
31:13Yeah.
31:15Yeah, okay.
31:16Hey, Ben.
31:17Yeah.
31:21Married?
31:21Tom?
31:26Yes, but now his
31:27marriage is on the rocks
31:28thanks to your
31:29kissing stunt.
31:30Which I was forced
31:31to creatively conceive
31:33in order to ruin
31:34his dumb, dumb
31:35investigation.
31:36Not so dumb.
31:38Norma disappeared
31:38right after you
31:39threatened her.
31:40You're just pulling
31:40a Douglas.
31:41A pulling a what?
31:42A Douglas,
31:43where you take
31:43a morsel of malarkey,
31:45blow it up,
31:45throw it back in my face
31:46to take the heat
31:47off of you.
31:48That's actually
31:49not what I was doing.
31:50Well, Tom's wife
31:51actually slapped me
31:52in the face.
31:55I'm sorry.
31:56You don't look like
31:56you're sorry.
31:58You look like
31:58you're suppressing
31:59a giggle.
32:01You know what you are?
32:03You're a Mitzi.
32:05You're a tall,
32:06handsome,
32:07marriage-ruining
32:07manicurist.
32:08It's different for us.
32:10Maybe it isn't.
32:11Maybe you're just
32:12a person who's
32:13hurting another person.
32:15Not if she
32:15never finds out.
32:16But she did find out.
32:18She just thinks
32:18you're me.
32:19You know what?
32:20Tom and I had
32:20something really good
32:21going on,
32:21and now because of you
32:22he can't even
32:22come to this house.
32:24Hoor, hoor, hoor!
32:26Hoor, hoor, hoor!
32:27My dear brother,
32:29allow me to offer
32:30my sincere apologies
32:32that we are not
32:34at the fraternal
32:34odor of the stag lodge
32:36with our fellow
32:38stag brethren
32:39as per tradition.
32:41But as you know,
32:42I am being hunted
32:43by a homicide
32:45Cuban mobster
32:47so we must perform
32:48this most glorious
32:50of running rituals
32:52here on this
32:54lowly ground.
32:56We shall bless
32:57the nuptial bed
32:58in the commensary fashion.
33:00What are they doing?
33:15They're stag brothers.
33:17When one stag weds,
33:18the other stags fight him.
33:20He's in ritualistic rut.
33:22That's stupid.
33:28You're married
33:29into society now,
33:30Mitzi.
33:31There are all kinds
33:32of inanities you'll endure
33:33as you stare
33:34into the middle distance.
33:36How long will this last?
33:38The middle distance?
33:3930 or 40 years.
33:42No, the rutting.
33:46Oh, they'll be out there
33:47for ages.
33:51I have an errand to run.
33:53In the morning,
34:10in the evening,
34:12we've got fun.
34:15Hey, you.
34:16We got no money.
34:18Evelyn?
34:18We are fucked.
34:21Hey, Evelyn,
34:22are you in the bath?
34:24We are fucked, Maxine.
34:28What is going on here?
34:29I thought you were
34:29working and securing
34:31our future.
34:32Don't read those.
34:35I wasn't supposed to,
34:36but they're Dinah's love letters.
34:38Here, listen to this.
34:41Your throbbing man member
34:44is only dwarfed
34:46by your massive man heart.
34:49Ew, that's...
34:51Sweet, I know.
34:53They really loved each other.
34:57Evelyn, are you laughing?
35:03Oh, no, you're crying.
35:06Oh, that's so human of you.
35:07Don't be disgusting.
35:09I didn't get the signatures.
35:10Now everything's gone to shit.
35:12I don't think there's
35:16much of a difference anyway.
35:20I'm still a murderess
35:21in the eyes of that awful officer,
35:23and my name is unclearable
35:24now that Norma's trail
35:25has gone cold in the Alps.
35:29The Alps?
35:30Yeah.
35:32Maxine,
35:33Norma used to vacation
35:34in the Alps.
35:35That trail might not be
35:38so cold after all.
35:40Wait, what are you saying?
35:41That there might be hope?
35:42Yes.
35:44Unfortunately,
35:45only one person
35:46ever went with Norma
35:47to the Alps.
35:49Ooh, I'm gonna need some coffee.
35:51Your hope
35:52lies in the hands of...
35:54Oh, Mary,
36:02is that your
36:02Arabian night benefit
36:04to save the songbird turban?
36:06Indeed it is.
36:07It's gorgeous.
36:09I'm afraid
36:10you've come
36:11at a rather wan
36:12moment.
36:13I haven't seen
36:15the ghost
36:15of my bootlegger
36:16in days,
36:17and I've been
36:19trying to contact him
36:20on my Aunt Paige's
36:21Ouija board.
36:22That's convenient.
36:23I've been steeping myself
36:25in the occult,
36:26talking to ancestors.
36:29Why, just yesterday
36:30I communed
36:31with Marie Antoinette.
36:33Ah, an ancestor?
36:35No,
36:36just a close friend.
36:38Look, I need to know
36:39where you and Norma
36:40stayed in the Alps.
36:41Mr. David so always
36:43made the arrangements.
36:45And when we returned,
36:47I would always feel blue.
36:50So,
36:51David would give me
36:52shock treatments
36:53to, as he put it,
36:55clear the cobwebs
36:56from my chimney.
37:01And you,
37:02Evelyn,
37:02what do you seek?
37:03Oh, a signature.
37:05We are making a play
37:06to buy the Palm Royale,
37:07and we need
37:08the three D's
37:09to sign off.
37:09So if you'd just
37:10oblige us
37:11with your Jane Hancock...
37:12Well, no,
37:13it's David's name.
37:14I can't.
37:16Well, you'll have
37:16to ask him yourself.
37:19Oh,
37:19I'm sorry.
37:20Isn't Mr. David's
37:21all rather
37:22dead?
37:24Before we begin,
37:26are either of you
37:27on your period?
37:27Um,
37:29no.
37:33Thank you,
37:33Mary.
37:35I don't want to touch it.
37:36I'm not touching it.
37:37No need.
37:38No need.
37:41Which query
37:42would you like
37:43Mr. David Soll
37:44to address first?
37:45Oh,
37:45ask him where
37:46Norman stays in the L's.
37:47No, no, no.
37:48Ask him if it's okay
37:49for you to sign.
37:49No, no, no, no.
37:50Norman, it's more
37:50shh.
37:52Mr. David Soll
37:53doesn't like it
37:54when women argue
37:55it crosses his haywires.
38:03N?
38:05O.
38:07No.
38:09R.
38:12M.
38:16A.
38:17Normal.
38:17D.
38:22I.
38:24E.
38:25D.
38:26I.
38:28N.
38:29T.
38:30H.
38:31E.
38:32A.
38:33L.
38:35D.
38:36Yes.
38:38Norma died
38:39in the Alps?
38:40What does that mean?
38:43Maybe,
38:44maybe she died
38:45in the Alps.
38:47No!
38:47Oh!
38:48Oh!
38:48Wow!
38:50F.
38:50U.
38:52Still a bitch
38:55even from the beyond.
38:56Did Mr. David Soll
38:58come through?
38:58What did he say?
38:59David loves the idea.
39:01He said you should
39:01sign immediately.
39:02Oh.
39:05And did you get
39:07your answer?
39:08Well,
39:09I think the F.
39:09U was specifically
39:10for me.
39:11The spirits
39:13don't prevaricate.
39:15They also said
39:16Norma died
39:16in the Alps.
39:17If that's true,
39:18who's trying to
39:19frame you
39:19for her murder?
39:21Well,
39:21how should I know?
39:21I'm not a detective.
39:22Long ago,
39:30my heart and mind
39:32got together
39:35and designed
39:37a wonderful girl
39:40for me.
39:45Oh,
39:46what a fantasy.
39:48My dearest Robert,
39:52if all went
39:53according to plan,
39:55you're enjoying
39:56the spoils
39:56of the Delacorte
39:57mansion.
39:59God knows
40:00you've earned it.
40:01I'm sorry
40:03I had to leave
40:03under these circumstances,
40:06but I promise
40:07all will be revealed
40:08in due time.
40:11Meanwhile,
40:12I ask two favors.
40:15One,
40:16please continue
40:17to exaggerate
40:19the reports
40:19of my death.
40:21And two,
40:22send the five
40:23entwistle portraits
40:24of me
40:25to the Swiss
40:27National Portrait Gallery
40:29to hang proudly
40:31in the Hall
40:32of Delacorte.
40:33I want to take
40:34my rightful place
40:36among them,
40:37high above
40:38the fluggerdurgen.
40:40Fluggerdurgen.
40:42Fluggerdurgen.
40:44Fluggerdurgen.
40:44Don't try to say it.
40:46It's where I spent
40:48those first lonely years.
40:51But I want you to know
40:52I was never lonely
40:55for one second
40:56when I was
40:58in your splendid presence.
41:02Hello.
41:03Mitzi.
41:17Hi.
41:19I came to leave
41:21a note for Maxine,
41:23but I can come back later.
41:26I can give it to her
41:27if you want.
41:28Okay.
41:29Yeah, sure.
41:30Thanks.
41:33Mitzi.
41:36Do you ever regret
41:37what you did?
41:39With Douglas, I mean.
41:41Oh.
41:44I wasn't married.
41:46He was.
41:49If, um,
41:51if you're planning on
41:53pinning your dreams
41:54on Douglas,
41:55please don't.
41:58What are you doing here?
42:24What they're saying about me
42:25it's not the truth.
42:28Then what is the truth?
42:29Your husband is...
42:32Um.
42:35He is, um...
42:36My husband is what?
42:38The best lover I have ever had
42:50in my life.
42:51I mean, just
42:52mind-blowing.
42:54His
42:54man member
42:57is the manliest member
42:58I can
42:59member.
43:01Wait.
43:01Wait.
43:01Wait.
43:04I am so sorry
43:05that I hurt you.
43:06Please don't blame him.
43:08I'm going through a divorce,
43:09which I'm sure you know,
43:10and it's caused me to act
43:11like a homewrecking
43:12prostitute.
43:16I'm sure you can understand.
43:18And I'm sure he loves you
43:19very much.
43:22Enjoy your dinner.
43:23I'm so sorry
43:35you won't be able
43:36to purchase
43:37the Palme Royale.
43:39Perry told me
43:39all about your little plan.
43:42But if you're looking
43:43for some way
43:43to make your life
43:44more meaningful,
43:45we'd love to have you
43:46volunteer for Perry's
43:47mayoral campaign.
43:48Perry's
43:48not going to be mayor.
43:50So many of them.
43:57What do you want?
44:01A Donahue signature.
44:07Or
44:08everyone will know
44:10the many, many
44:11sexual positions
44:12the would-be mayor's wife
44:13enjoyed with her
44:14tennis coach.
44:16Remember how many papers
44:17Maxine sold?
44:26Of course I'll sign.
44:35The norm are gone.
44:37We have to look out
44:38for each other,
44:38don't we?
44:39It's a scary world
44:40out there.
44:42Especially now
44:43that there's a new,
44:44new girl
44:44who may be
44:46smarter
44:47than we think.
44:52It must have been
44:54hard for you
44:54to read those letters.
44:59I didn't read a word.
45:04And now all I need
45:06is a Delacorte.
45:07I spy with my little eye.
45:11What?
45:13I tell a court.
45:17I was wrong.
45:19What I said earlier
45:20it is different for you
45:21and for Tom.
45:26And
45:27I'm sorry.
45:28I thought you were
45:34worried about your reputation.
45:39You mean more to me
45:40than the Palm Royale.
45:44You should know that.
45:47You're a good friend.
45:49I know.
45:54Who am I?
45:54Mitzi
45:55came by earlier
45:58and she
45:58left this for you.
46:10It's done.
46:11We're married.
46:18Not much of a ratter,
46:19is she?
46:19Not much of a ratter,
46:20is she?
46:20Not much of a ratter,
46:20is she?
46:21Not much of a ratter,
46:22is she?
46:23Not much of a ratter,
46:24not much of a ratter.
46:31Thanks.
46:54Yeah, hello. Dr. Dusty, what can I do you for?
46:57It's Max singing. I hope I'm not calling too late.
47:00No, no, no, I'm fine. I'm just with the patient right now.
47:03One minute.
47:03Oh, wow, you're still at work?
47:05Oh, yeah. The doctor's always on call, like a priest and a hooker.
47:11Can I tell you a little secret?
47:12Oh, sure.
47:14I'm awful glad you called.
47:16I just wanted to say thank you for, uh, getting me off today.
47:21Oh, uh, legally speaking.
47:22Well, it's my pleasure. Legally speaking as well.
47:27And I think you're right.
47:29My story has gotten a bit rotten lately.
47:32Maybe it is time for a new chapter.
47:37Well, why don't we meet up in person?
47:39Maybe grab a couple cocktails?
47:41Are you asking me out on a date?
47:43I'll call you tomorrow.
47:52It looks like it's been through hell.
48:05I don't care what you give me for it.
48:06I just want that thing out of my life.
48:09Ah, yeah, I'm gonna have to melt it down for parts.
48:12Nobody wants a ring with somebody's name engraved on it.
48:15But there's no name on my ring.
48:21Looks like it was done with a pen or something.
48:24Underneath the stone, right on the setting.
48:26A-G-N-E-S.
48:30Agnes.
48:33Agnes.
48:38Agnes.
48:38Tis time.
48:56Time?
48:57The rutting ceremony is complete.
49:01So,
49:02tis time.
49:04I'm addressing our wedding invitations.
49:07For our real wedding.
49:09I went with the ecru card stock.
49:19They are beautiful.
49:22Just like you.
49:24I don't think tis time for that.
49:27Well, of course.
49:28Tis time.
49:29That's what that means.
49:31I didn't even get a ring.
49:34Well, I'll get you a ring so big it'll make your back hurt.
49:37Good.
49:39Because I also want twelve bridesmaids and two showers.
49:43One for me.
49:45And one for the baby.
49:48But until that happens...
49:51I am on the couch.
49:55Pretzel up, Doug.
50:01There's something different about you.
50:04I'm Mrs. Douglas Delacourte now.
50:11I'm Mrs. Douglas Delacourte now.
50:13I'm Mrs. Douglas Delacourte now.
50:15I'm Mrs. Douglas Delacourte now.
50:16I'm Mrs. Douglas Delacourte now.
50:17I'm Mrs. Douglas Delacourte now.
50:18I'm Mrs. Douglas Delacourte now.
50:19I'm Mrs. Douglas Delacourte now.
50:20I'm Mrs. Douglas Delacourte now.
50:21I'm Mrs. Douglas Delacourte now.
50:22I'm Mrs. Douglas Delacourte now.
50:23I'm Mrs. Douglas Delacourte now.
50:24I'm Mrs. Douglas Delacourte now.
50:25I'm Mrs. Douglas Delacourte now.
50:26I'm Mrs. Douglas Delacourte now.
50:27I'm Mrs. Douglas Delacourte now.
50:28I'm Mrs. Douglas Delacourte now.
50:29I'm Mrs. Douglas Delacourte now.
50:30I'm Mrs. Douglas Delacourte now.
50:31I'm Mrs. Douglas Delacourte now.
50:32Norma?
50:50Is that you?
50:54Is somebody there?
51:02Hello?
51:32Well, I guess this is who we are now.
51:42For now.
51:47Safe and sound.
51:52In your house.
51:58Robert?
52:00Yeah?
52:03Who's Agnes?
52:10Get comfy.
52:13There's something else I need to tell you.
52:30There's something else I need to tell you.
52:33I own my own my own.
52:35There's something else I need to tell you.
52:39There's something else I need to tell you.
52:45I'm not really sorry about mine.
52:46Transcription by CastingWords
53:16Transcription by CastingWords
Be the first to comment