00:00it's short and maybe not so sweet she says my husband no longer insists okay when i say no
00:06to him in bed he just turns around and falls into deep sleep what now what does that mean
00:12not everything is not everything is equals to something else you know sometimes
00:24they're just okay it's very confusing when you tell someone consent is important no means no
00:32and then when you say no and they actually follow through by accepting your no you're like
00:38i mean in the comfort of your relationship
00:55no no means no okay no i said no
01:05relationship you want to be the test right you want to oh you want to tease a little bit
01:12yeah so i think it's very it can be very confusing when we have as women in this age of feminism
01:24when we keep saying that hey no means no and even in marriage no means no you have um you have rights
01:31to a certain extent but my body is my choice and i choose to do whatever i want to do with my body
01:36that means i can allow you in when i want you in but other than that no so that can be a few a bit
01:43confusing messaging if you are trying to play if it's a play right if you're playing right if you're
01:51teasing if it's like um back and forth type sexual banter or whatever you're trying to do
01:56it can be very confusing if you're not clear on what you want right tell tell your partner very
02:03clearly hey sometimes you know it's just a no but sometimes i want you to tease a little bit
02:07so yeah just like weigh your options but it's very confusing can you just be honest with what you want
02:13or be smart and just schedule it right um schedule it would i say monday no tuesday yes wednesday no
02:21well evil schedule your sex because you are two grown-up adults in marriage and this is actually
02:28you're denying uh coitus to your partner can can be an offense that can be put up to court and someone
02:36can sue you for it okay so let's try and be more deliberate with what you're saying because if
02:43you're always also saying no no no no no you know to whose benefit so you're saying no but you're angry
02:48you're the one who said no need nikki so yeah figure out a system that makes sense other than this
02:53because this is clearly not making sense in your family um maybe the thing that throws you off
02:58is that you know give me when i want and if you don't then you know no like there's no conversation
03:07about hey i'm not in a mood right now but you know maybe we can try later maybe in the morning
03:13so it's one of those thing of okay cool whatever and it's just
03:17which can throw you off because like hey babe see we talk about this i'm saying no right now i'm not
03:27saying no forever also you turning around and sleeping and not even checking okay are you okay
03:34is it a headache is it a what yeah i understand how that could throw you off so just have that
03:39conversation about it and say hey babe you know what's happening sometimes i like the lead up you
03:45know to sex i like small small things we've been teasing all day we've been doing things and then
03:52we culminate all of it with that act of making love crt o geuka and i'm like well what do you mean
03:59like oh okay now all we have attitude to not do what are we doing so just you know talk to him or maybe
04:08there could be practices that are influencing uh the the dwindling sexual activity don't act we have hands
04:18it could be maybe unakuja na simu kwa kitanda unagonga tiktoks tano in loud volume
04:25with the time unageoka melala that's our next segment let's get into wellness wednesday
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