- 18 hours ago
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00:00So when you get into a relationship and the relationship transforms into something better and now the two of you are serious, that topic, that conversation about money, as uncomfortable as it may be must be had, especially if you're married in a serious relationship, you need to have conversations about money.
00:21And for me, the first one, it felt like I was being attacked. It was so difficult. I was like, what do you mean? What are you telling me? But when you think about it, we're in a relationship together. We're making financial decisions together. We're accountable to each other.
00:44So why should that not transcend also when it comes to finances? And for me personally, I think it was like point number two, where I had a lot of shame about my finances.
00:56Like my bank account was not looking very good. I was in the negatives. And I felt like that was such a shameful thing to admit, you know, like I don't have money.
01:07And I don't want us to compare our banks and now it looks like I'm mooching off of you. See, we just ignore this and we continue just sending me money when I ask. But that's not sustainable.
01:21So that's learning that my shame was something I needed to work on. And it doesn't have to be a secret. Everybody struggles. Nobody, okay, there are people who are born millionaires, but everybody starts from somewhere.
01:34And it's up to you now. What are you doing about it? Yes, my bank account is at zero, zero, nine times out of the month. But what am I doing towards it?
01:44And having an accountability partner and having somebody you can talk to about it, who's not going to shame you, not like the husband in us, the girls who has no consideration, just being with somebody who says,
01:57Okay, girl, I see you, you ghetto, you's a dusty, but you know, what are you doing about it? So working on that shame and not having a secret. Anytime I get some money, I put it in a secret fund.
02:10Like, why are you hiding money? You know, the funny thing is that we've had this conversation before and the perspectives were so different.
02:20Like from the last conversation we had about finances and relationships to now, I can really see growth. Because even the way you're addressing it, it's coming off as jointly together, we are going towards this goal.
02:33And there is nothing as difficult as that. And unfortunately, it has to begin with a check in. So someone has to be the one to bring it up. And not when you're going through crisis, because some people wait until a everything is belly up. Okay, we need to buckle. We need to reinforce it. Like we need to shut this house down because a no money that can be able to save us right now. Like we can't pay rent. We have no food. You're being this information is landing upon you in a way that you don't believe is even possible.
03:02I was going to bring up someone's story. Because some people are very irresponsible with money and they don't want to tell you. So you find out when it's too late and there's nothing you can do to like revert to what we need, where we need to get to.
03:20So it's important to have these conversations. Weekly, for me, is a bit much. Weekly is a lot. Every fortnight, when you are dealing with something particular, then we can do it every two weeks.
03:33Yeah, every fortnight. Monthly is good when you're probably updating your budget and stuff like that. So the frequency of this depends on where you are in the conversation of finances.
03:45Correct? So at the very beginning, it's just touching base. Like, hey, where are we at? You know, what do we have? What do I have? What do you have? Shame aside, difficult as it is.
03:56My husband used to, it used to be so bad that we couldn't have that conversation in the house.
04:00Like, we would have to, in the middle of the night, well, not in the middle of the night, but when we pick the day to have the conversation, we would literally have to drive outside, go to somewhere random.
04:11Sometimes, I remember the last difficult one we had, we literally just parked the car over there and we started talking. Okay, everybody has their laptop, let's break it down.
04:24This is what we have, this is where we're at, this is da-da-da-da-da-da. And it's so difficult to have those conversations because, again, do I have money that can match up to this person?
04:32But these conversations are important. Like, when do you get bonuses? Okay? When are you getting paid? Am I, is there some money that I haven't been paid somewhere?
04:42I need to disclose that information, difficult as it is. The shame of, I can't manage my finances has to end. Okay? We are together in this conversation.
04:53And then, talking about things like budget, you don't have to, sometimes, when, at the beginning, it sounds like it can be a small figure.
05:00For instance, you say, hey, we can only have, we can only spend 5,000 shillings a week or whatever the quote in your household is.
05:08I don't know what your household is like. I'm just giving you a rough estimate. We can only spend 5K a week. 5K is supposed to pay for any upcoming bills.
05:175K is supposed to fuel the car. 5K is supposed to be the food we're eating. 5K is supposed to be any food you're ordering outside.
05:265K is, this is the amount of money we have at the beginning of every week.
05:31Iki isha mande? Ime isha mande.
05:33Baka lini? Baka next week. Iki isha Tuesday? Baka next week. Emergency, iki kuja apa katika tia wiki, we're, we're, the, the, the, the, the safe is closed.
05:45Hakuna pisengini na kuzapa. Unless it's like a medical emergency or like a serious thing, then we can, you know.
05:52But like any expenses that you, oh, I, I need to go outside. Like my friends are going out to the club.
05:57Na u kuji panga na ile 5K ya mande, kwane uko na juwa mnena friday. Kama uko na juwa, unge juwa mapema.
06:03You know, budgeting is important. Sticking to a budget is important. That's why I'm struggling a lot, by the way.
06:09Mia, mia, I, I like to be, I like to enjoy myself, okay. I be liking to enjoy myself.
06:14So, yeah, we have a budget, but like, I'll build a budget by like a little bit, by like a little bit.
06:20And then I take advantage because my husband's spending is usually big chunks. It's not like small, it's not small 5K, it's not small, you know, 2K, 1,000 here and there.
06:29No, no, no, no, no, no. His bills are made. He has a lot of bills kubwa. So he feels kind of guilty.
06:35It's like, you've only spent like 2K. It's okay. Yeah, it's fair like, you know what I mean?
06:41So it's important to also be respectful of the guidelines and the budget and the systems you've put in place financially.
06:50But you have to start from somewhere. You have to start the conversation from somewhere.
06:54Yeah. And there are so many tools that you can use to like monitor all of this.
06:59Like, not everything has to be, oh, let's sit down and talk about the money. Let's sit down and see how far.
07:04There are like shared apps where you can both sign into the same account and you get to track, okay, this is the money we put in.
07:14This is the money, okay, where we hauku letaya this month, what is happening.
07:17Then you can start that conversation.
07:19And, you know, those, what do you call it, what do you call it, because when you make a decision, like on month seven,
07:28kuna ka grace period for you to execute.
07:30And then like on month nine, we're like, okay, picking up from, you know, what has happened.
07:36Now you start getting defensive.
07:37Yeah.
07:38You have to update.
07:39But it's not, we're not saying that now you have undue pressure upon you to be literally, financially literate or anything.
07:49It's just a thing of accountability because we've seen stories or cases where one person passes away.
07:57One person is in an accident.
07:59The breadwinner is unconscious in a hospital.
08:02And the hospital is saying we can't proceed with treatment because we don't have funds.
08:06And you're like, oh, I don't even know his bank account.
08:09Oh, I don't even have the password.
08:11And you're married to this person.
08:13So all we're saying is it's important to have access to said funds.
08:18It's important to have at least some knowledge about what my partner has.
08:23Like right now I can tell you this is how much he has.
08:26He can tell you this is how much, how little she has.
08:31And that's okay, okay.
08:32Do you not see me here having 700 jobs?
08:35I am trying.
08:37I am walking in.
08:39But yeah, there's so many tools you can use to track this so that it's not every day we are having a conversation.
08:46Every single day I'm asking you, where is the 200, Bob?
08:50Every day it's not a conversation of, can you send me 500 shillings to buy, you know, nyama.
08:56I'm like, see, let's set out.
08:58There's a budget for this.
08:59Hii wiki, mkisike, mwenye kwa thame usama, mtakula chicken na everything on Monday.
09:05Mjue mtakula giveri.
09:07On Friday.
09:07The rest of the week.
09:10Simuli jibamba.
09:11Yeah, and I feel like that especially is very, very important where you have specific roles and responsibilities in your relationship.
09:19Because yes, you may not necessarily be the breadwinner in your relationship, but you have other responsibilities.
09:24For example, how am I supposed to be the one making the money and then disbursing the money and then I'm the one who's keeping up with the Joneses and then I'm the one who's keeping up with the...
09:32No, some of these things have to be deliberated, deliberately, you know, split up across the way.
09:40For instance, if I'm bringing in my salary at the beginning of every month, I've already budgeted.
09:47Actually, us guys have a system where it's a standing order, where it's like it's...
09:51Because there's nothing...
09:51Oh, girl, there's nothing I hate more than asking for money.
09:54Ga, ga, ga, ga, ga.
09:56Me, I will staffer in silence.
09:58In fact, I will figure it out myself because I don't like to ask for money.
10:04It makes me...
10:05It takes me back to a place I don't like, all right?
10:07I don't like to feel dependent on anyone.
10:10It bugs me.
10:12However, these bills need to be paid.
10:16These things need to be done.
10:17At the beginning of the week, we need to figure out what are we eating, okay?
10:19We need to figure out are we...
10:21What are we cooking?
10:23Is it...
10:23All of these things.
10:24So instead of having to have these difficult conversations every week, you already have
10:28a budget.
10:29It's not a killer wiki, you all have to sit down and put the budget.
10:34No.
10:35Just put a system in place where it's a standing order.
10:38The beginning of the week, in the account that you use for your expenses...
10:42Actually, yeah.
10:43Multiple accounts.
10:44In the account that you use for your expenses, for example, or in the M-Pesa, I mean mobile
10:49money, I don't know where you put your money for your expenses.
10:51Is it usually centralized, sent to one person, or is it split halfway, such that...
10:57I don't know what your system is.
11:00You figure it out on your own.
11:02But regardless, there is this pool of money that you've agreed on that this is what we
11:06use for the week.
11:07That pool of money will consistently be there without fail.
11:11So instead of having a conversation where you are now going shopping, and you have to start
11:16calling your partner like, hey, babe, you've seen those people who's mama in Kwakiu.
11:20Kwakiu.
11:21You've held up the whole cube.
11:23Babe, I've been waiting for you to send money.
11:24You've not sent me money.
11:25I did for you the till number.
11:27Those are embarrassing situations.
11:29Girl, I could never...
11:30I mean, I don't like to be in, right?
11:34So we have a pool of money somewhere, and my responsibility then becomes, am I taking
11:39up the responsibility of then organizing the household?
11:42At some point when it flips, and then you're the one who's taking care...
11:45We all have to take those...
11:47You're paying...
11:48This money is usually paid for Wi-Fi...
11:50That one is put aside.
11:52This money is usually paying for water...
11:55Utilities.
11:56That is put aside.
11:57Kila mtua wajua shugli yake.
11:59So, tusipokuwa la maji, tunajomwenye tinauliza.
12:03Mbona tuna maji.
12:05Stima ikikatua, tunajomwenye tinauliza.
12:08Mbona tuna stima.
12:10These forces you need to become responsible, and it also alleviates a lot of pressure on one
12:15person.
12:15The same way you feel the pressure to make money is the same way the other person feels the pressure to be able to make sure that everything is done in a particular order.
12:23So make it easy by delegating, by everyone knowing what exactly they do in your household.
12:30And when you achieve milestones, when you've been, you know, consistent with your money and, you know, being open and transparent, remember to treat yourself.
12:40Small, small champagne, you know, twice, twice.
12:44But don't take it too far.
12:45Don't be like me.
12:46One thing about me, I must say, thank you to me.
12:50Small, small thing.
12:52Pat on the back.
12:53Uta nipata social house.
12:55I must say, ooh, pasta, pene, pasta.
12:58Pesto, pasta.
12:59Mimi, I will call.
13:00I do not know how to say no to me.
13:03Okay?
13:04But don't take it too far.
13:05Just, we are cruising nicely.
13:08Even right now, we even have surplus.
13:11Whoa, very nice.
13:12Let's go for dinner.
13:13It's both of you.
13:15See where we're pekiyako.
13:16You're not the only one doing this.
13:18It's a team effort.
13:19So, I'm not a team building.
13:21Okay?
13:22Whether I'm a staycation, team building.
13:24I'm a mtenda dinner.
13:25It's up to you.
13:26Okay?
13:26But also, remember, as you're shereha, sherehing sharia, yeah?
13:30And you have been forced to face your own battle.
13:33Ah, I will never forget being in a Sephora.
13:37Looking, because I have my budget, it's in place.
13:41Looking at my bill at Sephora and going like, do I need all this?
13:44I don't need none of these things.
13:46I just, I'm going to put everything back.
13:48Does Tuti really even need that keali?
13:50Does she, because like, is it necessary for her to get the kee?
13:54Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
13:57Lasmatik.
13:58Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
14:00But like, as much as you are budgeting and you're being responsible and you're being very clear about your plans,
14:06it's important to future
14:09proof. Basically think
14:10about it from the future. Yes, you've
14:12achieved your milestone now. You have
14:14a little bit of surplus. These
14:16surplus in end are happy because
14:18Pesa does not like sitting in a pocket.
14:23Pesa likes to be moving.
14:24It likes to be fluid, liquid.
14:26So instead of putting yourself in a situation where you are
14:29constantly looking at a pool of money,
14:30unanza kuipangia,
14:32iyo ndote muna kubukanga baide, nili kwa
14:34nimeona ka Mercedes, na nimeona
14:36Pia Charisma has bought himself an e-class
14:38Mercedes. Let me tell you, your
14:40class, everything changes.
14:42So instead of having to look at that money
14:44without purpose, name
14:46the purpose of the money.
14:48Name the purpose of the accumulation.
14:50We're saving to get to
14:52X. We are putting
14:54money away so we can buy Y.
14:57This is the direction.
14:59So where do we start?
15:01This money, let it work for us.
15:02Ingi za pesa kwa MMFs.
15:04Ingi za pesa kwa
15:05infrastructure bonds,
15:08na bills,
15:09atakama unajua,
15:10half the money is going to be stolen.
15:12It's okay.
15:12You get the rest of the half.
15:14You know what I mean?
15:15Even if you are hearing
15:17Sidiano,
15:20one of the other
15:21many banks
15:22are making
15:23500.7,
15:25no,
15:25507%
15:27profit
15:27when every other
15:29of the nine banks
15:30work on
15:31zeros and negatives.
15:32unashindua,
15:33oh,
15:34what's
15:34Sidiana,
15:36walitoa
15:36up
15:37507%
15:38profit.
15:39Amo unashindua
15:39na government.
15:40Small bank.
15:41Unajuli za maswali,
15:43but unajua,
15:44you know,
15:44atakama
15:45nini,
15:46unajua,
15:49unko kuna profit.
15:51Okay?
15:51You look at it
15:52as profit.
15:53Where the profit is,
15:55is where you go.
15:56My point is,
15:57all of these things,
15:58putting yourself in the know
15:59is important.
15:59It's your responsibility
16:00as an adult
16:01to figure it out.
16:02You don't have to learn
16:03everything at once.
16:04So,
16:05just start to,
16:07small,
16:07small,
16:07even if it's just starting
16:08by watching TikTok videos,
16:10right?
16:10You will start to understand
16:11the language.
16:12You will start to understand
16:13shorting a stock.
16:16What is shorting?
16:18What is these?
16:19What are these candlesticks
16:21that they keep talking about?
16:22Start to learn pole pole.
16:23Ingiya YouTube,
16:24but in like who
16:25kidichinu kiwona
16:26blackish the whole day,
16:28ingiya wona
16:28financially educated
16:29uko wanasema nini.
16:31It's important to start,
16:32pacing yourself
16:33into becoming an adult
16:34who's responsible with money
16:35because you got to learn someday.
16:38Might as well be today.
16:40And I know a lot of us
16:41don't feel like
16:42we're adulting adults.
16:44We feel like
16:44we're waiting
16:45to feel adult.
16:47Yeah.
16:47You know,
16:47you're waiting
16:48to get to 40,
16:50but there's no better time
16:51than right now
16:52to start looking
16:54for investment options,
16:56to start looking.
16:57I know you have
16:58all of your 200 shillings,
17:00but have you had
17:01Safaricom now has bonds?
17:02As in,
17:03there are so many products
17:04that you can get into
17:05right now
17:06that don't need
17:07a huge chunk of money.
17:09Something as little
17:10as saving all of 200 bob
17:12a month
17:13or a week
17:14goes a long way
17:15because
17:16at the end of the year,
17:19you still have
17:19X amount of money.
17:21You figure out
17:21what to do with it.
17:22So, yeah,
17:24that was our conversation today.
17:27My name is Turife
17:28and I'll see you tomorrow.
17:29My name is Kathomi Kathomi.
17:30Na mjue.
17:32Miminilieka pesa ya chama
17:33mahali.
17:35Nangoja kaive.
17:36Hey, muta amini.
17:37It's me.
17:38You will not believe it.
17:39Pesa ya chama.
17:40Pesa ya chama tuwekotu kiweka.
17:41Ah, I feel very nice.
17:42Very happy.
17:43I feel pressure
17:44because people are saving a lot
17:45towards the end of the year.
17:47Na miminilieka muisho ya kuseve.
17:49But I'm excited
17:50because
17:50I am so excited.
17:56And that is why
17:57it's important for you to start
17:58because ni ki dobo ki dogo.
18:00It's a 100 bob.
18:01It's a 200 bob.
18:02By the end of the year,
18:03200 shillings.
18:04200 shillings
18:05if you're saving 200 shillings
18:06per week.
18:0720 oma.
18:08I'm at 20 oma.
18:10Anyway,
18:11200 shillings
18:12if you save 200 bob
18:13every week
18:14for one month.
18:16That's
18:16200 by 4.
18:19It gives you
18:20800 shillings.
18:21800 shillings
18:22every week
18:23for a year.
18:24That is
18:24multiply that
18:25by 56.
18:26No, 12.
18:284 is for one month.
18:29Oh, 4.
18:30Sorry.
18:30Apologies.
18:31Wow.
18:32So it's 200
18:32by 4.
18:34Okay?
18:35Then by 12.
18:37Bado wukona 9,600.
18:39You hodipesa wukwana ya?
18:40Na usisa hau penye unaweka
18:42wanafanya
18:425% interest rate
18:44nini nini.
18:45You kutu sawa.
18:46You're making some money.
18:47So keep adding,
18:48keep topping up.
18:4910k ni sinimbuzi?
18:51I think so.
18:52Amani kondo?
18:53Something of that sort.
18:54December wukosa.
18:55People are going to enjoy Christmas.
18:57Yeah.
18:57That's a Christmas tree
18:59or whatever.
19:00But don't forget
19:01as you are planning
19:02on stocking up
19:03on your money,
19:04stock up on your spices
19:05as well.
19:06Stock up on your
19:07tog spices
19:08because they are
19:08available to you.
19:10You have everything
19:11from chicken masala,
19:12beef masala,
19:13turmeric,
19:15chili,
19:15paprika,
19:16like basically
19:17anything under the sun.
19:18Cardamom,
19:19cinnamon,
19:20whatever you want.
19:21Niku tenge neza chai
19:22ama niku tenge neza pudding.
19:24Whatever it is you need,
19:25they got you,
19:26we got you.
19:27You can get it
19:27on the number
19:280712-066-378.
19:31It is the number
19:32on your screen.
19:33Make your order,
19:34get your spices,
19:35spice up your life
19:37and spice up your kitchen
19:38because Christmas loading.
19:42Until tomorrow,
19:42my name is Cliff Omega.
19:43Let me see you.