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00:00There he is, my new chief of staff.
00:19Chief of staff, that sounds so wild.
00:22But did you get my email about possibly changing my title to
00:25Top Top or Your Lordship?
00:26Oh, I don't read emails.
00:28That's a job for my new Top Top.
00:31Oh, Nicholas, welcome back.
00:34I missed you so much.
00:35Oh, my God, girl.
00:37Get in here, Mama.
00:40Oh, my God.
00:42I missed you so much, Carousel.
00:44We got to catch up later, diva.
00:46Yeah, absolutely.
00:48Huh.
00:49Anyway, while I was in Korea, you've really blown up.
00:52I mean, this Molly Nation stuff is everywhere.
00:54You're all over TikTok.
00:55Every drag queen in WeHo is wearing a blunted short bob wig.
00:59And a Megan Fox went on Call Her Daddy and named you a femme supremacist.
01:02Is any of that positive?
01:04Yes, it is.
01:05It all is.
01:05It's fantastic.
01:07Your profile is sky high right now.
01:09You just got invited to the Access for Justice Gala.
01:12And this year's theme is Age of Insistence.
01:16Oh, my God.
01:17That is so brilliant because I have no idea what that means.
01:20Yeah, neither do I.
01:21But let's promise never to look it up.
01:23But the best part is I just got pinged by Emanuel Window Pond.
01:27God, I have missed this high-energy gibberish.
01:29Who is that?
01:30Oh, my God.
01:31He's just like the hottest young designer right now.
01:33He just put Addison Rae in a tree branch for Vanity Fair's who?
01:37100.
01:37And now he's desperate to dress you.
01:40Fabulous.
01:41I'm in.
01:41Let's do it.
01:42Okay, great.
01:44So should I give them the name of your plus one now or?
01:49Oh, yeah.
01:50Sure, sure.
01:51It's Arthur.
01:52Yeah.
01:53Great.
01:53Yes, of course.
01:54I figured.
01:55I just, um, two are in a better spot right now.
01:58Yeah, yeah.
01:59I think so.
02:01We're talking.
02:03Things are good.
02:04We're both trying.
02:05Okay, but why are you answering everything like a question?
02:08I'm not?
02:10Or am I?
02:11I don't know.
02:12Maybe I'll stop.
02:13Okay, I'll stop right now.
02:15Wait, I can't stop?
02:17I'm scared.
02:18Nicholas, help me.
02:19Oh.
02:19Okay, uh, carousel.
02:21You know, I got that.
02:26You know, I got that.
02:30Pull up in the new whip.
02:31Cost me two trips.
02:33I put that roof, Chris.
02:34All in the two lips.
02:35Take vacations on jet.
02:36It's too slick.
02:37Don't bring the bags.
02:38I'll buy you some new fits.
02:39The money, the fame, and the life is right.
02:41Everything I dreamed of and the price is right.
02:43Every day I see a dove go inside the light.
02:46That's the diamond shining on the wrist at night.
02:48You see it, but it ain't so lovely.
02:52I got two things in life.
02:54Trouble and money.
02:57You see it, but it ain't so lovely.
03:01I got two things in life.
03:03Trouble and money.
03:06I got everything you want.
03:07You know I got that.
03:08I got everything you need.
03:10You know I got that.
03:11I got everything you want.
03:12You know I got it.
03:13I got everything you need.
03:14You know I got that.
03:15Ow!
03:20Mm-hmm.
03:22This is nice.
03:23Mm-hmm.
03:24I'm glad you're here.
03:26Yeah, me too.
03:27I'm glad we're working things out.
03:31So I bet you're wondering what's under that drape.
03:36Actually, there's so much going on in this room
03:39that I didn't even really notice it.
03:41This is not a salad here.
03:44Um, so you and I have been invited
03:47to the Access to Justice Gala.
03:49It's kind of like a themed fashion-forward event.
03:53Ooh.
03:53The designer asked to dress both of us,
03:56and here's your outfit.
04:00Ta-da!
04:01Oh, God, no.
04:02I know. It's a little edgy, right?
04:04Uh, I...
04:06Yeah, I mean, where's the shirt?
04:09My boobs will be out.
04:10Yes, but they will be out for justice.
04:15What is the tiny word
04:18that's written in the cape over and over?
04:21That word?
04:22That word says...
04:25Prefra?
04:27Pussy.
04:28It says pussy.
04:29Oh.
04:29The word pussy 10,000 times.
04:33Uh-huh.
04:35Yeah.
04:35Can we frock right now?
04:44Um, I don't know.
04:47We kind of had a big dinner.
04:49No, no, no.
04:50Frocking is free and open communication.
04:55Yeah, I listened to the first half
04:56of a podcast about it.
04:57Okay.
04:59Frock away.
05:00Okay.
05:01Okay.
05:01I don't want to go to the gala.
05:05I will feel uncomfortable.
05:07It will be tense.
05:08And we will get in a fight.
05:10But you should go.
05:13I appreciate you telling me how you feel.
05:15I think that's very healthy.
05:18Yeah.
05:19I actually feel great.
05:21Kind of like frocking.
05:23Radical honesty.
05:24Radical honesty.
05:26Yeah.
05:26Yeah, okay.
05:27Let me try.
05:28Okay.
05:29Um, I think lettuce should be free.
05:34It's nothing.
05:36Great.
05:38Um, when I get a haircut,
05:40I show them a picture of Mitt Romney.
05:42Oh, okay.
05:43Um, I'm good with using a dog breeder
05:46because I don't want a fugly dog.
05:48I don't know how to pronounce hyperbole.
05:51I've never stepped inside of an IHOP.
05:53I get overstimulated by corduroy.
05:55A dip in the pool counts as a shower for me.
05:57My first erection was to Daisy Duck.
05:59Okay, we're done frocking.
06:05Oh, Destiny?
06:07Mm-hmm?
06:07Uh, can I book the conference room for 3.30?
06:10Yes, of course you can, Ainsley.
06:15Okay, you're all set.
06:16You should receive a confirmation email
06:17and then you get a text reminder from me
06:1915 minutes before.
06:21Um.
06:22Mm-hmm.
06:23Are you okay?
06:24Do I look okay, Cabbage Patch?
06:25Hmm?
06:26I'm good at my job and it's fucked up.
06:29I don't understand.
06:31So I'm just gonna smile and blink.
06:32Howard, I can't do this anymore.
06:41This is not the way the humans were designed to live.
06:43We're explorers.
06:44We're not chair-sitting-screen zombies.
06:46Yeah, yeah, totally.
06:47I mean, I hate this thing.
06:49I hate when I line up five emeralds
06:52and it makes that special sound.
06:53Ugh.
06:54And all this free artisanal cardamon grape soda?
06:57Shane.
06:58It's like a prison in here.
06:59Exactly.
07:00I need a change.
07:01We have to break out, like,
07:03like El Chapo or Martha Stewart.
07:06Okay, well, you're not happy,
07:08I'm not happy, baby girl.
07:09Mm-hmm.
07:10We're a teen.
07:11Mm-hmm.
07:12But then again, this is our job, right?
07:14Yeah.
07:16But I've got an idea.
07:18Mm-hmm.
07:19Come on.
07:19What?
07:20He said no to you?
07:22To fashion?
07:23I am gonna snap that Timu Greg Kinnear-looking motherfucker in half.
07:26Nicholas, please.
07:28It was actually a really great conversation.
07:31I mean, I really want to know what Arthur's thinking.
07:34Oh, brother, I know exactly what Arthur's thinking.
07:36He's a straight white guy, okay?
07:38It's drones, Doc Shepard,
07:40I want to see Pearl Jam down on the Red Rocks with Steve.
07:43Oh, don't be silly.
07:44He just didn't want to go to one event.
07:46And to be honest,
07:48my life can be a lot.
07:49I can be a lot.
07:50I mean, how many people do you know
07:52that have a climate-controlled shoe bunker?
07:54No, no, no, no.
07:55Listen, I love Arthur.
07:57I really do.
07:58But sometimes I think he's resisting
08:00a lot of the things that make you you.
08:03I don't know.
08:04Maybe.
08:06Where's Molly?
08:07There's someone at the door.
08:09Oh, well, can you get it?
08:10We're in the middle of something.
08:11I would, but trust me,
08:13you're gonna want to see this shit.
08:14She just cursed.
08:16Go, go, go.
08:21I just got an invite for something called
08:23the Game Changer Summit.
08:24The Game Changer Summit.
08:26Ooh, there you go.
08:28Yes.
08:28You're in the right place.
08:30Woo.
08:30Have a seat.
08:33Get ready, Sophia.
08:35Your VIP lanyard.
08:37Yes.
08:38Receptionist.
08:43It comes from the Latin root word receptacle,
08:46which means trash can.
08:48I am not a trash can.
08:51Okay.
08:52Destiny's talents are being wasted here.
08:55She is a communicator, a bon vivant,
08:57a jester spitting truth at the king.
09:00Guys, I pushed a meeting about our
09:02anti-billionaire initiative for this.
09:03And that was a great decision.
09:05Here is our proposal.
09:06We traveled a country in a custom van,
09:09hyping the Wells Foundation,
09:10and spreading Molly's message.
09:12Exactly.
09:13We get to embarrass the greedy billionaires
09:15by bringing light to America's problems
09:17via our hashtag vanlifejourney.
09:20All we need is a bit of seed money to buy the van.
09:23And we already found one in a very good deal.
09:26The gentleman who owned it
09:27just went to Pelican Bay for murder.
09:29So he won't be driving anytime soon.
09:31Isn't that smart?
09:33Okay.
09:33I need to think about this.
09:36Excuse me?
09:37What?
09:37What does he have to think about?
09:38What are the problems?
09:39What are the cons?
09:40How about you both are idiots
09:41and you'll probably do something
09:42that embarrasses Molly and me
09:44and everyone else who works here?
09:46Fair.
09:47That's fair.
09:48We must remain open to criticism.
09:54Could you leave your lanyard?
09:55Sweet Mama Celeste.
10:12Oh, my penis hurts.
10:13This is Mr. Morrow Gold.
10:16Hey, what's up?
10:17Um, I was, uh, hydrofoiling down by your beach,
10:20and I hit a nasty piece of reef,
10:23lost half of my pinky toe.
10:25Can I have it?
10:26I mean, are you okay?
10:28Oh, yeah, yeah.
10:28Oh, my God.
10:29It'll grow back.
10:30Huh.
10:30Um, I live down the beach,
10:32so I was gonna walk home,
10:33but then I was like,
10:35ow.
10:36And then I was like,
10:38house.
10:39So, here I am.
10:42Um, should we call a very lucky doctor
10:45to take a look at you?
10:47Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
10:48So, we're gonna take care of him ourself
10:50by touching him with our fingers.
10:52Okay, we gotta stop watching Misery before bed.
10:55I'll get the first aid kit.
10:56I was actually an EMT in the arm.
10:57Oh, shut up, Carousel.
10:59No one cares about your biography.
11:00Just get him to the couch
11:01and start peeling off those layers.
11:03Carousel, you say?
11:05Take a seat.
11:06I need to talk.
11:08We sure do.
11:10So, about the van.
11:12Why do you hate me?
11:12I don't hate you.
11:13Then why won't you give me the van?
11:15I'm giving you the van, Eltony.
11:16All you do is say,
11:16no, no, no, no, no.
11:18That's what Mama should've named you.
11:19No.
11:19It just disgusts me,
11:20this power trip that you're on.
11:21I'm saying yes.
11:22Hey, you know what?
11:23I thought for once
11:24that Elsa would come down
11:25from her ice palace
11:26and let it go.
11:27I'm giving you the van.
11:29What?
11:31You can have the van.
11:32Really?
11:32Wait, and you think that I'm Elsa?
11:34Because she's the pretty one.
11:36Hmm.
11:37Oh, my God.
11:37Thank you so much.
11:39Well, we are in a PR push
11:40before the next phase
11:41of our billionaire takedown,
11:42so I'll give you some
11:43Molly Nation stickers and pins
11:44and you can just go to town.
11:45Oh, we will go to town.
11:47Me and Howard will go to town
11:48on each other's bodies
11:49and on this assignment
11:50and then back on my body.
11:51Okay, well, I don't want to hear that.
11:54Stop it.
11:54But I do wish you good luck out there.
11:57I love you.
11:59I love you too, Phoebe.
12:01I don't like that nickname.
12:03That's not up to you.
12:04You're right.
12:05Oh, I messed it up again?
12:13We're just going to have to start over.
12:15We have to get this right.
12:16It's okay.
12:17Oh, here.
12:18Nicholas, he's really staring at me.
12:30Do you think you might be concussed?
12:34Oh.
12:35Oh.
12:37You're Molly Wells.
12:39I know about you from TikTok.
12:40Oh.
12:41Wow.
12:42Yeah, that's me.
12:43I mean, it's not a big deal.
12:45Nicholas says I've really been blowing it out on there.
12:47Blowing up, sweetie.
12:48Blowing up, sweetie.
12:50My dad and all of his rich hedge fund friends
12:52hate you.
12:54Almost as much as they hate their own wives and children.
12:56But the way that you're calling out
12:58every other billionaire,
13:00shaming them by giving away all your money,
13:03I mean, you're a freaking hero.
13:05Oh, no, I'm not a hero.
13:06I mean, I do tend to have some heroic qualities.
13:08Hey, no, no, no, no, no.
13:10Do not doubt yourself, okay?
13:13Okay.
13:15You are incredible.
13:18You're the first good, rich person I think I've ever met.
13:22Oh.
13:23There are plenty of us.
13:25Me, Oprah.
13:27Jersey Mike is actually very lovely.
13:30Yeah.
13:31Yeah, this is why you have a golden aura.
13:34You look like a McDonald's sign.
13:39Hey, Mauro.
13:40What's my aura like?
13:41Black spiral going downward.
13:43Wow, that's accurate.
13:44He's good.
13:45This is going to sound really weird,
13:47but do you ever have dreams?
13:52Uh, yeah.
13:57I know.
14:00I do, too.
14:04We need to talk about that van.
14:07Oh, what are you doing, Howard?
14:09You're not supposed to be in here.
14:12What is the problem?
14:13I gave you the money.
14:14Yeah, exactly.
14:15That's the problem.
14:16I don't understand.
14:18Look, I live in a nine-bedroom mansion
14:20and have a Japanese toilet
14:21that knows the exact temperature
14:23at which my tushy thrives,
14:24and I am not going backwards.
14:26So you wanted me to say no?
14:29Yes.
14:30Well, I couldn't,
14:32because I'm trying to be a better sister
14:34to Destiny,
14:35and it's working.
14:37She called me pretty.
14:38Okay, well, you picked a very inconvenient time
14:40to start being nicer.
14:42It's very simple, Howard.
14:43If you don't want to live in a van with Destiny,
14:45you can just tell her.
14:46No, then she'll leave me.
14:47I can't do that.
14:48Do you have any idea how nice it is
14:50to make post-coital nachos
14:51for someone other than yourself?
14:52Howard, babyface and all,
14:54you are an adult.
14:56Have an adult conversation with Destiny.
14:58I can't help you.
14:59Suck it up and figure this out.
15:00Where was this hard Sophia energy
15:03when I needed it?
15:18That's a second giant sandwich
15:19in ten minutes.
15:21Why is it so hot?
15:23I don't know.
15:25All right, the gala is eight hours away,
15:27so if I don't start getting ready now,
15:28I'm going to be late.
15:29What? No, you can't leave.
15:30You've got the bronco and the lasso right here.
15:33What?
15:34Morrow likes you.
15:36Have you not noticed how much
15:36he's complimenting you and touching you?
15:39No, no, no, no, no.
15:40He just has a flat brain
15:41and is being friendly.
15:43Uh, no one is just friendly to women.
15:46That doesn't make any sense, okay?
15:48He's attracted to you,
15:49so go flirt with him.
15:51I can't do that.
15:52But I have a boyfriend.
15:53Yeah, one who's making you feel
15:54colossally bad about yourself right now, okay?
15:57There was nothing wrong
15:59with some young, hot thing
16:00reminding you what a prize you are.
16:03Babe, you are the big Snoopy at the fair,
16:05and no one should ever let you forget that.
16:08No.
16:09Look, things aren't perfect
16:10with me and Arthur right now,
16:11but that doesn't mean I want
16:13Morrow to eat me like
16:15that giant turkey sandwich.
16:18Good Christmas.
16:20Oh.
16:21Oh, God, this is wrong.
16:23Welcome to your new home!
16:27It's really cozy.
16:29I know, right?
16:30Oh, my God, okay.
16:31So when you first walk in,
16:33right here is the living room.
16:34Oh, that's a little different area?
16:36Mm-hmm.
16:37Okay.
16:37Okay, and then under here,
16:38we have the library.
16:40Sorry.
16:40Yes.
16:41Um, and then right behind you
16:42is the playroom.
16:44See, I have all your little...
16:45That's just a Rubik's cube.
16:46Mm-hmm.
16:46Because you like to play games.
16:48Well, where can I unpack myself?
16:50Oh, there's a cabinet right behind you.
16:53Look at that.
16:59Yes!
17:01See, van life really shows you
17:02what you actually need, right, babe?
17:04We're gonna get through this together, Goku.
17:07Call me home, me home.
17:08Okay, babe, I need you to wash your hands.
17:11I'm gonna make dinner.
17:12But how does the water come out?
17:14Oh, you should use that hand pump right there.
17:18Yeah!
17:19Just do that about 60 or 70 more times,
17:21and then brown water's gonna come out,
17:22followed by clear water.
17:24Fun!
17:24Uh-huh, it's a process.
17:25Yeah, it's like I'm getting a workout
17:27and getting clean at the same time.
17:30Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
17:31But what's the bathroom situation on board?
17:35I'm so happy you asked.
17:37I would like for you to meet Phil.
17:40Get it?
17:41Because we're gonna fill it up with all of our...
17:43No, no, no!
17:44Desi, no!
17:45No, no!
17:46I cannot do this!
17:48But, Howard, what is wrong with you?
17:50Look, I am not cut out for van life.
17:52Is this even a smart mattress?
17:53Does it know I sleep hot?
17:55I thought you were excited.
17:56Look, baby, I said that because I care about you,
17:59but if this is what you want,
18:01just go ahead and break up with me.
18:02But FYI, I prefer a delicate touch.
18:04Howard, baby, listen to me.
18:07It's a great start, kind, but I hear the resolve.
18:11Howard, I am not breaking up with you
18:12because I still want to be with you.
18:15Really?
18:16Yes.
18:17Help me down.
18:20Baby, if I have to choose between you and this van life,
18:23I'm choosing you every time
18:24because you're my man.
18:27Okay, yeah, I'm your man.
18:29Mm-hmm.
18:30I'm your man.
18:31Mm-hmm, say it one more time.
18:32Baby, I'm your man.
18:35Mm-hmm.
18:38Okay, you are so crazy.
18:39I need you to help me move these things back into the house
18:41and let's get one van quickie before I get rid of this thing.
18:44Well, you know a quickie is my special.
18:46Mm-hmm, come on, Howard!
18:49I love it when guys have opportunities to share their nipples.
19:08It's like, so equal.
19:11Yeah, it's cool, isn't it?
19:13I like it, too.
19:17Anyway, I'm sorry.
19:19I hate to kick you out, Mara,
19:21but I have to get ready for this gala.
19:25Is everything okay?
19:27I don't know.
19:28It's just that when you mentioned the gala,
19:29your aura went from McDonald's golden to KFC red.
19:35Oh.
19:36Is that bad?
19:38Yeah.
19:39There's something about that party that's bothering you.
19:42Oh, no.
19:43Don't be silly.
19:44I'm very much looking forward to it.
19:49Here, can I, um...
19:50Can I give some of my energy to you?
19:54I think so.
19:55Sure.
19:57Oh, like that.
19:58Your hands feel like two giant, hot hands.
20:07So I learned all about energy transfer
20:09while hydrofoiling in Japan.
20:11Maybe the talking is blocking the energy.
20:14Maybe less.
20:14So my, um, my sensei, Big Rob...
20:16Less words, just less words.
20:18He taught me all about the ancient art...
20:20How about no words?
20:20...of Masatju.
20:21Uh-uh.
20:22Nope.
20:23Shut the actual mouth.
20:24Just shut it.
20:25Mm-hmm.
20:26And the energy transfer is complete.
20:31Whew.
20:35Good boy.
20:36Um, yeah.
20:39Okay.
20:41Oh.
20:42Uh-oh.
20:47Sorry.
20:51Hey, I'm so sorry.
20:53I missed a few of your calls.
20:54Um...
20:55Hey, listen, Malza.
20:56I've been thinking.
20:57This gala is important to you,
21:00and I should be there to support you.
21:02I want to come.
21:03You do?
21:04Yeah.
21:05I'll do some push-ups
21:06so my boobs look better when exposed
21:08and wear the outfit.
21:10Um, all right.
21:11I'll head over in a bit.
21:12Love you.
21:13I love you, too.
21:14I'll be here.
21:20So...
21:21I'm gonna go ahead and leave.
21:24But, um...
21:26Molly, if you ever find my toe,
21:29just throw it back in the ocean.
21:33Okay.
21:37Taquito.
21:38Taquito.
21:50Taquito.
21:51Baby, the post-coito nachos
21:53are heating up in the...
21:54I'm gonna...
21:54I'm gonna...
21:54Arthur's all dressed as well.
22:24Molly, should I send him in?
22:25Yes, of course.
22:29Here he comes, my fashion-forward king, master of insouciance.
22:42Where's the pussy cape?
22:44Can we frock for a second?
22:49Sure, let's fucking frock.
22:50I tried the P-word cape, Molly, and it looked ridiculous.
22:57I can't wear that. I don't want to.
23:00Okay, but my frock is that it was a couple's costume.
23:05And if your outfit doesn't say pussy, why does the lining of my dress say cock?
23:11That makes no sense.
23:14Feels like you're unhappy.
23:17That's accurate.
23:18But not completely unhappy, right?
23:23Because I am coming, just not dressed how you wanted.
23:27So it's what, like 10% unhappy? 15%?
23:33I don't know, Arthur. I don't know what percent unhappy I am.
23:37Why are you making me do math?
23:39Because I am also 15% unhappy.
23:42I want to support you, but I just really don't like events like this.
23:49So we're both unhappy?
23:51Exactly.
23:52And that's good?
23:54Yes, of course it is.
23:56That's the definition of compromise.
23:58Both of us are a little unhappy, but we're unhappy together.
24:02Forever.
24:03Forever.
24:04The car's running with Molly.
24:06Okay.
24:36I'm sorry, Howard.
24:46How'd you find out?
24:49She called to say goodbye.
24:52She wanted me to tell you something.
24:55She said that it wasn't about you, that you're the best guy she's ever dated, that you're
25:00kind and handsome and funny, and that whomever you end up with will have won the lottery,
25:05because, well, you're one in a billion.
25:08Well, how much of that is her, and how much of that is you?
25:14Does it matter?
25:16Because it's all true.
25:20Thanks for coming.
25:22I can't believe she just left.
25:25I know.
25:26I'm so mad at her right now.
25:28I really thought this time would be different, but destiny will always be destiny.
25:35People don't change, Howard.
25:38You did.
25:41I'm serious.
25:42I mean, you let her in, you supported her.
25:45It's gotta count for something.
25:47Yeah, but she broke our hearts.
25:49Yeah, it happens.
25:52Sometimes people disappoint you.
25:55Sometimes things get hard and they run away.
25:58Take the easy path.
26:00You just gotta hope they eventually figure it out.
26:03I'm so glad we figured this out.
26:18Shall we?
26:20Morning's turned to night and then the night become the day I can't keep up the night.
26:35I keep losing still.
26:37Keep looking for that, man, you can't change my mind.
26:42Oh, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
26:49Letting the crowd call.
26:51Oh, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
26:57x7
27:03Strolling down these halls of rolling dice and waterfalls I can't help but smile.
27:03Strolling down these halls of rolling dice and waterfalls, I can't help but smile.
27:14Troubled fortunes, lies and showers all beneath the flashing lights.
27:20Gonna stay alive.
27:24Said what I said, it don't matter to me.
27:30Can't be a slave if I'm already free.
27:35Can't be a captive if it's where I wanna be.
27:42Then the crowd will call.
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