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'A Real Pain' star Jennifer Grey joined The Hollywood Reporter for a conversation at the St. Regis Deer Valley during the Sundance film festival in Park City, Utah. The actress, who is best known for her work in movies like Dirty Dancing and Ferris Bueller's Day Off, was considering a role in the story (written and directed by Jesse Eisenberg) about two cousins who join a Jewish heritage tour in Poland to reconnect with their late grandmother and visit the town that she fled before the war. Grey shares her reaction with THR after she read this script for the film.
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00:00Hi everyone, thanks for joining us. We are here to talk about obviously your films, but I imagine
00:07that most people here are like a little bit familiar with the Sundance lineup, but just
00:11forgive me if I just want to like a little bit of an overview. I mean, I would like an overview.
00:17Going in alphabetical order, luckily yours is first. A Real Pain is the movie that Jennifer
00:23is in and it's the second film that Jesse Eisenberg has written and directed. And it's like a
00:30really personal story of his and it's based on a journey that he took, gosh, I want to
00:35say you would know better than me, 15 years ago maybe? Does that sound right? Back to Poland
00:41in the town where his grandmother was from before they were forced to flee, before and
00:45during the war. And it stars also Kieran Culkin and Kieran and Jennifer and Will Sharp from
00:52White Lotus and a few others are on a tour group essentially, touring through Poland.
01:00And so I want to ask you some questions about that, but one thing that I was really curious
01:04about and it does relate to you being in this film, but like do you have something that you
01:09look for in your roles? Like when things come to you, do you have a, is it a gut feeling?
01:16Is it like certain things you're looking for it to accomplish or like kind of how do you
01:21know that you want to say yes to something? I love that question because it's very visceral for
01:27me. And for me, it's almost always the company, the writing, the, the other cast members. And it's
01:39really about when something resonates with my soul. I always know, I don't know if this may sound a little
01:47too woo-woo for you guys. Cause you know, you're, you're, you have real jobs. I know you're like,
01:51you know, you're the clients. This is a safe space for woo-woo at least right here. You guys can
01:55let us know how far that bubble goes. But I always feel like there's a reason I get every job that I
02:01get. And I don't, I never know what it is at the beginning. And it usually has something to do with
02:07a part of me that needs to be processed or healed. And it's usually unconscious. And I just feel like
02:14things are brought to me to help me. I don't know when you, so when you say like the visceral reaction,
02:21is that something that you've always been in touch with and in tune with since the beginning? Or did
02:27you kind of have to figure out how to listen to that as your career went on? I would say, um, one of
02:34the best things about having been around a long time is having learned how poorly things go when I
02:42don't listen to my intuition. Almost everything really going, you know, pear-shaped is because I
02:50knew that it wasn't right. And I just have gotten only recently become almost, uh, religious about
02:59listening to that, that feeling because that is such an important, it's a blessing. It's a, it's a,
03:06it's a gift to be able to listen to your body, to listen to what, if your heart is beating faster
03:14when you read something, that's always a good sign for me. But it's usually more subtle than that.
03:19It's usually more about, I look for, why me? Why, why would they pick me of all the people? And then
03:27I just, the more I look at it and read it and work on it, the more I see that it's perfect. And it's about
03:33something bigger than a job, a paycheck. Something that, and forgive me, I can't remember who it was
03:40that I was interviewing who said this, but they had this really good comment about
03:44if they are looking at a script or thinking about a role, if there's someone else anywhere out there
03:49who could do a better job or be more fit for it, then that's how they know that it's probably not
03:54right. Um, I'll Google after we get off this and I'll circle back to give proper credit, um, for that.
04:00But that, that sounds like it's kind of what you're saying too. Like it's, I think so many people could
04:06play many parts. I mean, many parts get offered to many people before it sticks or it's, you know,
04:12they agree to what they're free or whatever. But there's something bigger going on in my, just because
04:19I've been doing this for a really long time. And every time I haven't gotten a job and I was like,
04:24wait, I was about to make the deal. The deal was coming. Everyone told me on the movie that it was
04:32happening. And then at the last minute something happens and it goes to someone else who I actually
04:38think is much less right for it. And I can't make sense of it. I know that the job that I didn't get
04:46two weeks later, I get a job that makes no sense, that I'm completely wrong for.
04:52Like when I was playing Gwen Shamblin last year in this Lifetime movie, I was, I'm a Jew. I was
04:57playing a Christian cult leader from Tennessee with a giant hair and anorexia and just like
05:05a crazy person. And I was like, well, I have craziness, you know, I have crazy parts of myself,
05:11but I'm, I mean, I don't, I couldn't understand why they gave it to me. And then all of a sudden I
05:17thought, well, I have to do an accent and I have to get a wig and I have to, oh my, oh my God,
05:22I have to learn how to do sermons for giant. I mean, a cult leader. I mean, I didn't understand.
05:29And then I understood everything. I just have learned that to wait and watch. And I have,
05:37I'm amazed at how many beautiful opportunities are coming my way. Just, I always want to be like,
05:45I'm going to hustle. I'm going to go out there. I'm going to get stuff. Those stuff,
05:48those things don't happen for me. It's just like out of nowhere. It drops in and I'm like, oh,
05:55okay, let's go. So for a real pain, what, what dropped in out of, was it, did you get the script?
06:03Did you hear about it? Or kind of what was the, your origin story of, of starting to join this movie?
06:09I got an email saying, uh, Jesse Eisenberg's doing a movie. It shoots in Poland and he wrote it,
06:18he's directing it, he's starring in it. Immediately I was like, I'm in because I, you know, I love smart
06:25people. He's really smart and he's really talented. It turns out he's a really good director, a really
06:32good writer and a lovely human being. He's a smart, deep human being. And I, I don't know,
06:40I just knew he'd be smart and I knew he'd maybe be a little nervous and it was just so nice to meet
06:45someone more nervous than me. And then I just felt like, don't sweat it, man. Everything's cool. It's
06:50going to be fine. Because I'm always like, I'm just a nervous, I'm a nervous person. What can I say?
06:56And I just felt very chill around him. Do you, um, what was the, what was your visceral reaction
07:03when you read the script? What was like the, the thing that then with the story that made you intrigued
07:10or interested or, or connected to the material? Okay. So firstly, when it came to me, I knew that
07:15Kieran Culkin was set. So you were able to read it, picturing him. And I had been all, I had just,
07:23when I got the script, it was right after I was seeing the last couple of episodes of Succession.
07:30And I was losing my mind over his performance. I was, I was, it was like, it was messing,
07:37it was wrecking my head. He was so brilliant. And to me, I just want to play with those guys.
07:45So I read the script. And of course I went from excited to elated because it's a very deep movie
07:54and it's about very many things. And it's not about concentration camp, but there is a concentration
08:03camp portion of the movie, but it's about relationship. It's about grief. It's about loss.
08:10It's about identity. It's about resilience. So when I read it, what I noticed was Jesse's ability.
08:19This is the virtuosic part of him is that his tone is so human and so accessible and so vulnerable and
08:30so funny. And you think people go, how can that be funny? Because it's Jesse. It's just, it's not about
08:39the Holocaust. It's about these cousins who have grown apart and who are grieving the loss of their
08:45grandmother. And then they get put into this group, this very intimate group. I think there are six of us.
08:53Yeah. And our group leader is a very unattractive man named Will Sharp. I don't know if you guys know
08:59him from White Lotus. He gets to use his real British accent in this film. He's really naughty. He's not
09:05attractive. And with the English accent, it's even worse. And he actually plays, I don't want to ruin
09:12anything for you, but he really is playing against handsome. Yes. He's really... There's a backpack at all
09:19times. Let me just say, I just was like, okay, I just thought of this whole movie as a love story
09:25between me and Will and Karen and Jesse and Kurt. I just thought, okay, I just, that's what I felt the
09:32whole time I was making the movie. I didn't feel the heaviness of it all the time. I felt it in the
09:39appropriate moments that, not because it was appropriate, but because it was impossible to deny,
09:47because it was so big. You know, we shot in this concentration camp in Poland called Majdanek.
09:56And Majdanek, I'd never heard of, but it is very preserved. So it looks like everyone left this
10:03morning. There are no, there were no, you know, places for people to line up. It didn't feel like a
10:10tourist place. And we, I think it might be the only concentration camp that has ever allowed a movie
10:17to be shot there. Yeah. And if anyone has seen Zone of Interest from this year, one of the producers
10:26on your film, I believe, got in touch with that, because that film was from Poland. And I think that
10:30was how they were able to... Yes.
10:31There's like a really interesting history. And something that really struck me about those scenes
10:37was how the light of a touch Jesse gave it. And nothing, nothing was too long. Nothing was
10:45overly sentimental. It was like truly so perfect. So deft. Yeah.
10:52Right. It's, he's so deft and there's something so enjoyable about the movie. And that's a very
11:00strange thing to even say or think, but I don't want to ruin it for you. There, I just don't want
11:07you to be afraid because it's a pleasure. This movie, it's a very small, it reminds me of the old
11:14movies that I loved, you know, before the big popcorn movies. It just feels like dirty dancing, you know,
11:21like an independent movie that was made because it's pure. It's, it's, you know, tours, it's his
11:28vision, it's his story, and it's authentic. And it's, I think it's really beautiful. I do many of
11:33you have tickets. I know it's hard ticket to get. Any of you have tickets? Okay, well, I hope you can
11:39get a ticket. And if you can't, you can see it when it comes out. And I hope you don't hear too much
11:43about it before. So you can be surprised that it's, you know, it's a love, it's a, it's, it's a love story
11:49between me and those guys. Do you have, because I imagine that it was a really intimate filming
11:56experience as well, right? It's an, it's an indie film. It's a small group of cast. You're traveling
12:01around. Do you have any sort of process for like getting to the right place with people that you
12:09work with? And I think I would also be curious to kind of know, especially you've been on a lot of
12:13different television shows as well. And if, if you feel like there's a different approach or a
12:18different way into something like this, that's really a true company versus you're coming into an
12:23existing company. And do you, do you approach that, that differently? Um, okay. So I think maybe just
12:29may I clarify? Yes, please. Um, you want to know if I come into the movie differently depending on the
12:36group? Of course. Yeah. The same way if you went to a party, every party's different, every love
12:43affair's different, every friendship's different and it brings out different parts of you and there,
12:47you know, there's a different hierarchy in every group and sometimes you're the star and sometimes
12:52you're a supporting player and sometimes, you know, you know, you wish you were the love interest.
12:59No, just, no, there's no, it's not, no, no, I'm, it's really about, um, tailoring, just feeling the
13:07room, feeling the energy and feeling what the dynamics are between us because I mean, I've never
13:14laughed so hard, like when I'm, we had breakfast every day, a bunch of us when we weren't working
13:19or we weren't working late or we weren't working like that morning and I was hoarse going to bed at
13:25night. I was laughing so hard and really smart, funny people. That's all I want to do is just
13:30work around funny, smart people. I wish the same for you guys. I wish that every day at work you
13:36can surround yourself with funny, smart, kind people. Had you seen the finale of Succession?
13:43Because I saw Kieran talk about how he missed the finale, obviously he was in it when it was happening,
13:50but he missed watching it on Max, um, because you guys were in Poland. That was his excuse for why
13:56he hasn't seen the finale of Succession. But do you remember, like, had you, or did he know how it
14:01was going to end while you guys were there? That's what I'm really getting at is where you were,
14:05was there anything that you like were trying to get? I mean, I've never met a less actory
14:09actor in my life. I mean, it's, it's very refreshing. It's very nice. I mean, nothing wrong with actors,
14:15but he is very, he's very non-actory and he is, he's just about the work and his family and he is,
14:24I don't think he had seen it. Yeah. Do you have a certain way, um, that you measure success
14:34and how has that changed like throughout your career? And I, I would ask that both in terms of
14:40for yourself and also like what feels good in the reception of a project that you're onto,
14:44because I imagine it could be a little bit different for each of those. I love that question.
14:49I think that's a really good question, by the way. Thank you. What was it? No.
14:54I was so into it. I was like, okay. Um, okay. So this is something I think about a lot and I don't
14:59know if you guys do too, but it's very, I think it's an important thing to always check in with for,
15:06at least for me because how the metrics that I have, how I define success is so different from the way it
15:16was when I was a kid, so different from the way culture dictates and the definition of what success
15:24is. And for me, it's, it's being able to make enough money. So I have a place to live. I have
15:36medical, I have food, I can have extra in case there's an emergency and that I get to have quality
15:45time in my life because I took a lot of time off to be with my daughter because I had wanted to be a
15:50mom for so long and I got to be a mom so late in life and I'd been working and I'd been independent
15:57and I'd never been, um, married and I'd never had a kid and all I wanted was to be a mom. So when I
16:04got this kid, I just, the only, that was me. That was in, that was like, oh, I never thought I'd get
16:10this. And I got this amazing baby who turned into this amazing child, into this amazing young woman.
16:17And I literally could not fathom leaving her to not pick her up at school, to not be the one to be
16:25there day in and day out. And as soon as she left, all of a sudden work started happening again. I was
16:32like, this is a miracle because I know I've been really successful, like in that definition of success
16:42that, you know, we all can reference as something like really flying close to the sun wasn't so hot.
16:49Yeah. It wasn't so hot. It was, there was good, I liked doing the work. I don't love
16:57the other parts. I don't, I'm very, um, sensitive person and it's a harsh business.
17:03So for me, it's about friends and relationship and kindness and balance and health and
17:11understanding what my values are, which really comes with age because, I mean, you always have
17:18values. Like when you're a kid, you know, like you want milk, like that's it, you know, and then
17:22eventually there are other things that interest you, you know, but, but like, it's just, there's always
17:26something changing. And my experience is that my values have become very clear about there's just
17:36not enough of the outside stuff that would fill up the hole in the soul. And for me, I'm just always
17:42looking for the balance of, yeah, I want to work. I want to make a living. I need to make a living. And
17:48life is really intense. Have you noticed? It's uncertain. And this guy, I know, Phil Stutz,
17:56I don't know if you saw that doc last year called Stutz. It was really good. You should watch it. Jonah
18:01Hill directed it. And he said, there's three things you can count on always for the rest of your life.
18:06Uncertainty, pain, and work. You're always going to have to work. You're always going to have pain,
18:12and you're always going to have uncertainty. And then the rest of it
18:16is the stuff that you can build, which is connection and love and romance and friendship
18:24and helping others and being of service. So those things really have given me the life of my dreams.
18:32And it's always changing. And that's also something that, you know, I've come to understand is,
18:37oh, this too shall pass, or I never want this to pass. I want this to last forever. And it won't.
18:44Do you find that that, it's a beautiful mindset, do you find that that allows you to be more free
18:50from what happens with each project, how successful that project is, whether by the way the industry
18:58would say it, or reception, or things like that? Like, are you going into it just knowing that you
19:02got, like, let's use a real pain for an example, which is kind of a bad example, because I think that's
19:08going to have a lot of like the very traditional markers of success, critical acclaim, and all
19:12that kind of thing. But is that the kind of thing where you feel you already feel good enough about
19:19it, that it truly doesn't matter? Or like, how into the weeds of of what happens after you release
19:24a movie out into the world do you get? I really feel that the work is itself. The work is the,
19:32the work is the treat. The work is, I mean, sometimes work is awful. And then I guess it
19:40can go well. And I don't know, I can't even think about it. I just know that when you make something
19:46beautiful, and you make it with a really, really open, devoted heart and soul, that's your, that's
19:54your deal. You did it. You're a success. And what other people think of you is really none of your
19:59business. I hope for, you know, everyone's sake, because I think it's a beautiful movie, it would be
20:06really great if it was, if it got seen by a lot of people, because I think it's necessary
20:12to have that kind of a movie, that kind of a message, that kind of sensitive, soul full
20:21entertainment, because I think there's not enough of that. And I don't love what I see in the movies
20:27a lot these days. And I feel for the world, it would be nice if the movie was seen by a lot of people,
20:33and that Jesse, and I hope Kieran can get another job. You know, the poor kid, he needs a break,
20:40we'll see. But you know, will also feel so sorry. I feel sorry for these guys. So I hope for them it
20:45does well. Absolutely. Because I think they should all be able, I just want them to work. I'm a little
20:51worried. It is, it is a film that it, like what comes to mind is that something that's deep doesn't
20:56have to be a drag, essentially. So not a drag, it's, and I feel like a lot of times we get into the binary,
21:03100%. And it's not medicine. Yeah, that you have to take and be like, oh, is this going to be a
21:08downer? What a, it's not that, but it has so much depth. It's kind of like Flintstones vitamins.
21:15You know, you think you're eating candy, but you're getting all this goodness.
21:19As someone who still takes chewable vitamins, that resonates with me.
21:23That's a wonderful note to end on. And thank you so much for, for joining us and for making
21:27this movie. Thank you for having me. Thank you, John.
21:30Thanks, everybody.
21:30Thanks, everybody.
21:31Thank you guys so much. I hope you have a great time here. Have a great weekend.
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