- 22 hours ago
First broadcast 11th December 1999.
Maddy is contacted by a man who makes a living investigating the existence of aliens and who claims to have found a real alien skeleton.
Alan Davies - Jonathan Creek
Caroline Quentin - Maddy Magellan
John Shrapnel - Prof. Lance Graumann
Sonya Saul - T.V. Interviewer
Jane Booker - Phillipa Farell
Michael Brandon - Captain Frank Candy
Calvin Williams - Sergeant Kribotnik
Charlie Brooks - Trudi (as Charlene Brooks)
Sean Cronin - Party Guest
Maddy is contacted by a man who makes a living investigating the existence of aliens and who claims to have found a real alien skeleton.
Alan Davies - Jonathan Creek
Caroline Quentin - Maddy Magellan
John Shrapnel - Prof. Lance Graumann
Sonya Saul - T.V. Interviewer
Jane Booker - Phillipa Farell
Michael Brandon - Captain Frank Candy
Calvin Williams - Sergeant Kribotnik
Charlie Brooks - Trudi (as Charlene Brooks)
Sean Cronin - Party Guest
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00I
00:30Well, I don't know. It's hard to find words to describe it.
00:43I think Pyle and Shite would be high on my short list.
00:46If they'd both been performing the same play, it'd have been a suck.
00:49You get a feeling they didn't quite live up to expectations.
00:52I think if Mr Steve Harrison and Martin Ford ever get out of here alive tonight, it'd be a miracle.
00:57What do you think? Join the queue for a refund or can't be arsed?
01:01Large brandy for the road would go down quite well.
01:27Now then, my little poppets. Have you missed me?
01:34I thought you're ready for some supper by now, the pair of you, aren't you?
01:38I thought there was a rule about keeping pets in this block.
01:41Don't. Tragic story.
01:43A friend of mine runs an animal shelter.
01:46The lease on the property's just run out.
01:47The owners want 65,000 or they're out on the street.
01:51You know what it's like. I wondered if you could do anything with your contacts.
01:56I said, listen, if I could get my hands on 65,000, believe me, you'd have it.
02:03In the meantime, I'll take two of them off your hands at a pinch.
02:07While presumably all their friends will end up being put to sleep.
02:10Jonathan! They've got ears.
02:12So come on, tomorrow afternoon, will your systems go for this chat, show?
02:21Your book? What do they want me there for?
02:25I told you, put me in front of a television camera.
02:27She's completely seized up like a startled field mouse.
02:30I'll be there to hold your hand.
02:32Just leave all that to me, OK?
02:35Move then, I suppose.
02:37OK.
02:38Right then.
02:42I'll be there.
03:12So what you have to remember, it's the 19th century.
03:22This guy's one of the greatest living illusionists.
03:25So what he did right was he'd have a bunch of people around his house
03:27and he'd open the door to this big cupboard in the drawing room,
03:30inside which is a top hat hanging on a hook.
03:32Then one of the guests would be invited to walk into the cupboard,
03:35put on the hat and come out again.
03:38Our friend then makes a few magic passes over the hat
03:40and tells the guy to walk back into the cupboard.
03:43Except this time, the hat won't go through the door.
03:46Every time the bloke tries to walk into the cupboard, the hat gets knocked off,
03:48which in the 19th century was a big laugh.
03:51Queen Victoria wet herself.
03:53And it drove people totally mad,
03:55trying to work out how he'd made it bigger,
03:56which, of course, he hadn't.
03:57The secret to it was that the entire floor was on a hydronic lift,
04:03which rose, imperceptibly, about an inch and a half,
04:07making the doorway slightly lower.
04:09What appeared to be a simple parlour trick
04:11was actually this fantastically elaborate illusion.
04:14Of course, my starting point for actually writing this book was to...
04:17And that's all it is, not being constrained by the obvious.
04:20There was a Chinese magician, Chung Ling Su,
04:23real name William Robinson,
04:24who did something very similar.
04:28Thank you, studio.
04:29Good night, everybody.
04:31That wasn't too bad in the end, wasn't it?
04:32You were right.
04:35What?
04:36Startled field mouse.
04:38I couldn't get a word in edgeways.
04:40And whose idea was this monstrosity?
04:42Well, certainly not mine.
04:44Anyway, where are you off to now?
04:45Pensy quite to meet somewhere.
04:46Thanks.
04:47Sorry.
04:48Working, I'm afraid.
04:50On a red-hot story that needs some very careful handling.
04:52Could be a bit out of your league.
04:55So, I'll see you around.
04:56I'm afraid I'm scared.
05:02I don't know.
05:3211 and a half minutes late. Not a very promising start.
05:45Sorry, there was a bit of a snarl up coming down the East India.
05:49Professor Grauman's health is not best served waiting around damp, drafty warehouses.
05:57Hang about. I didn't have to come here this evening, you know.
05:59Oh, but you did, Miss Magellan. My note to you last night was irresistible.
06:07Forgive Miss Farrell for being protected. It's one of her many strengths as my confidant and wisest counsel.
06:13I'm not a furtive man by nature, but there are hostile forces closing in upon us, and we must try to keep one step ahead.
06:24Your role as a dispassionate observer may yet turn out to be pivotal.
06:30Oh, right. So do you think we might stop talking in codes and get down to what this is all about, and who it is exactly I'm talking to?
06:36Professor Grauman is, by common acknowledgement, the world's greatest authority on extraterrestrial phenomena.
06:44The integrity of his insights based on 35 years' fieldwork is beyond dispute.
06:49A polite way of persuading you, Miss Magellan, that I'm not a crag.
06:52And that what you're about to see has been ratified with every means at my disposal as genuine.
07:01In short, three weeks ago an artifact came into my possession
07:05that I have good reason to believe is nothing more nor less than the skeleton of an alien life form.
07:13Oh, you've got to be kidding.
07:41The molecular composition is baffling and, quite frankly, defies analysis.
07:48Physically, the properties are peculiar.
07:51A single, unsegmented bone, if that's what it is, appears to burn human flesh like acid.
08:00Even more fascinating, subjected to certain stimuli, cells from the tissue sample I took turned out to be organically regenerative.
08:13What does that mean?
08:15It means we can't be at all certain that it's dead.
08:20It's got the slight look of a Millwall supporter I once went out with.
08:40Dare we ask where it was found?
08:42Two young paleontology students were fossil hunting on the eastern rim of the Painted Desert near the town of Amiga in western New Mexico.
08:52Rather than consign it to the black hole of military safekeeping,
08:57they passed it to a contact of a contact,
09:00who referred it to me for examination.
09:02Of course, knowing the federal authorities were murder and maimed to get it back under lock and key does put a certain spring in one step.
09:13What the hell is it?
09:15Indeed.
09:18And what strange and wonderful worlds did it once know?
09:23Well, time may be short, if you'd like to get some photographs.
09:30All the copy you need, I can supply later.
09:32Yes, of course.
09:33Photo...
09:35Bugger.
09:37Left the camera in the car.
09:39I'll be two ticks.
09:53Secure the area.
10:04Two men.
10:05Secure these people.
10:11Remove the casing.
10:15Carefully.
10:16Carefully.
10:23All right.
10:32Let's load it.
10:34Don't cut it!
10:41All right, get the kicks back on.
10:42Nobody touch it!
10:47Gently!
10:47You mindless thugs!
10:54Can't you think for yourselves, any of you?
10:56What are you doing?
11:00You can't just lock it away with all the others.
11:03People have a right to see this.
11:05The world has a right to know about this.
11:14Fuck.
11:14Fuck.
11:14Fuck.
11:15Fuck.
11:17Fuck.
11:18Fuck.
11:18Fuck.
11:18Fuck.
11:18Fuck.
11:19Fuck.
11:19Fuck.
11:19Fuck.
11:19Fuck.
11:20Fuck.
11:20Fuck.
11:20Fuck.
11:21Fuck.
11:21Fuck.
11:21Fuck.
11:22Fuck.
11:22Fuck.
11:23Fuck.
11:23Fuck.
11:24Fuck.
11:24Fuck.
11:25Fuck.
11:25Fuck.
11:26Fuck.
11:26Fuck.
11:27Fuck.
11:27Fuck.
11:28Fuck.
11:28Fuck.
11:29Fuck.
11:30Fuck.
11:30Fuck.
11:31Fuck.
11:32Fuck.
11:32Fuck.
11:33Fuck.
11:34Fuck.
11:34Fuck.
11:35Fuck.
11:35Fuck.
11:36Fuck.
11:36Fuck.
11:37Fuck.
11:38Fuck.
11:39Fuck.
11:40Fuck.
11:40Fuck.
11:41Fuck.
11:42Fuck.
11:43Fuck.
11:44Fuck.
11:44Fuck.
11:45Fuck.
11:45Fuck.
11:46Fuck.
11:46Bastards!
12:16I'm not going to die.
12:46Morning. How was it for you last night? Didn't get your fingers burnt.
13:06What do you mean by that?
13:07Handling a red-hot story. Never mind. Just wanted to check on this signing today, whether it was at one o'clock or two.
13:15Oh, um, two o'clock.
13:18I'm quite getting into all this book promotion, Lark, now. Isn't it funny when to begin with, wasn't it?
13:22Yes, well, lots to do then. See you there.
13:24Bye.
13:35Yes?
13:36You got some photographs? That could be useful.
13:40Yes, actually, I was just this minute...
13:42They'll deny the operation ever took place.
13:45Of course, it was inevitable we'd lose possession.
13:48On the other hand, you've seen enough with your own eyes, I think, to present a compelling case to the public.
13:55The challenge now is to show these people we can't be silenced.
14:00Yes, it's not, it's going to be silenced.
14:02Yes, it's going to be silenced.
14:02Yes!
14:03It's going to be silenced.
14:04Exactly.
14:05This is the right!
14:07On the other hand ...
14:08You have not seen them be silenced.
14:10Get your coat on, we're taking a ride.
14:37So, let me explain to you how American foreign policy works.
14:43Some guy on the base, his little girl sees a man on TV who can take two and two that make five and explain how it adds up.
14:51I said, if that man can shake any kind of sense out of what happened last night, he'll be saving me one hell of a headache.
15:00From this moment on, everything you're about to hear is classified.
15:07That means, you so much as talk about it in your sleep, you even dream about it.
15:13Not only are you deceased, you were never alive.
15:17Do we understand each other?
15:24Do you mind?
15:25What the hell do you think you're doing?
15:31Put your arm round him.
15:32Cheers.
15:33Oh, you!
15:34Do you mind?
15:35What the hell do you think you're doing?
15:36I thought Jonathan Creek was coming.
15:42He is supposed to be.
15:43Well, where is he then?
15:44I don't know.
15:45So, when will we see him?
15:46When he gets here.
15:47When will that be?
15:48I don't know.
15:49Look, do you want that book signed or not?
15:50Not by you.
15:51Well, piss off then.
15:52So, I'm sorry, my love.
15:53I don't know.
15:54I don't know.
15:55I don't know.
15:56Look, do you want that book signed or not?
15:57Not by you.
15:58Well, piss off then.
15:59So, I'm sorry, my love.
16:00What was your name again?
16:01Trudy.
16:14There we are, then, Trudy.
16:19Now, the message that's from anyone worth waiting to be first.
16:27That's for you.
16:32It looks more like turd. Can't you write properly?
16:36I'm not having that one.
16:41Yes, so, as I say, we definitely said two o'clock.
16:44It's not like him to be late. Can't think where he's got to.
16:57So what's your take on it all, Captain Candy?
17:03Knife, God, the universe?
17:08Me?
17:10I accept there is an all-powerful force to which we are ultimately responsible for our actions.
17:15It's called Washington.
17:18Washington calls to say the skeleton of an EBE has turned up here in England.
17:22I'm granted unlimited resources to expedite its recovery by whatever means I deem necessary.
17:29Meaning?
17:31Meaning everything you ever saw in an Oliver Stone movie is true.
17:34Though we wish it were otherwise.
17:37I think you've convinced me you're not going to get through this slot with a Barclay card.
17:41So let's tick them off.
17:45It definitely went in. You saw it.
17:49There was no possibility of a switch. You were with the crate for the entire journey.
17:54And yet when you opened it up back here, this EBE, what did you call it?
17:58Extraterrestrial biological entity.
18:01It either completely vanished...
18:04Or...
18:06Sorry?
18:08No, that's where it falls down. There is no or.
18:12I tell you there was something real weird about this thing.
18:17Not so much what it looked like...
18:20But a feeling to it when you got close up.
18:23Like a...
18:25Kind of aura...
18:27Sent a chill right down your spine.
18:31Hell, I don't know.
18:34Maybe if it was still alive and by some process or other could pass through matter.
18:42If it was anyone other than Professor Grauman...
18:45You heard of this guy before?
18:47Oh, I've heard of him.
18:49Most definitely.
18:51And he's clever.
18:52He's very, very clever.
18:54Well, I'm sorry. I don't buy that.
18:57He's that smart. He'd have seen us coming and planned ahead.
19:00My guess...
19:02It was this woman outside.
19:07Come again?
19:08Took one or two photographs we're keen to retrieve.
19:11I can tell you, once we find this lady, which we will...
19:13And bring her back here for questioning...
19:15Her life's gonna be no merry-go-round.
19:20Yes, well...
19:21It's a tricky one, this.
19:24Gonna have to go away, I think. Give it a thought.
19:27No problem.
19:28And to make sure it doesn't slip your mind...
19:31Saja Krabatnik here will be right with you at all times.
19:34To keep things in focus.
19:37Don't worry.
19:38He is good at blending into the background.
19:46There's Jonathan now.
19:47Oh, she'll go speak to me now.
19:49Oh, no, no, no, no.
19:50Thanks.
19:51Excuse me, do you mind if you have your picture with me?
19:52Oh, Jonathan, can I have your autograph?
19:53Yeah.
19:54Just one, just one.
19:55Tell her.
19:56Smile.
19:57Smile.
19:58Smile, Trudy.
19:59Can you look up, Jonathan?
20:01Hands on.
20:02Thanks, that's great.
20:03Smile.
20:04See you later on.
20:05Smile.
20:06Sorry, would you mind?
20:09Just...
20:10Thanks.
20:11Smile.
20:12Smile.
20:13Take another one.
20:14And again, and again.
20:15Here you go, ladies.
20:16Thank you so much.
20:17Look, I don't know if I can be bothered with all this now.
20:18They'll be closing in an hour.
20:19So, if any of you want to grab a cup of tea somewhere or ask any questions or whatever,
20:23I'll buy you a sticky bun.
20:24Fantastic.
20:25I know the perfect place.
20:26Where's that?
20:27My place.
20:28How about we settle for a pizza hut?
20:29How about we settle for a pizza hut?
20:30How about we settle for a pizza hut?
20:31I don't know if I can be bothered with all this now.
20:32I can't be bothered with all this now.
20:33They'll be closing in an hour.
20:34So, if any of you want to grab a cup of tea somewhere or ask any questions or whatever,
20:37I'll buy you a sticky bun.
20:38Fantastic.
20:39I know the perfect place.
20:40Where's that?
20:41My place.
20:42How about we settle for a pizza hut?
20:44Can sit down if you want.
21:11you know what i always find good for cerebral activity herbal tea
21:24so make myself a pot of chamomile
21:28you just continue cerebralizing
21:41it's me and don't start i've got very little time
21:54do i take it you've been out hunting little green men with professor lance grauman
21:59little green what have you gone completely too lally
22:04and who the hell's professor grauman when he's at home
22:08i'll take that as a yes look i can't go into details this second i think it's time we
22:12compared notes
22:13i'm sorry i haven't a clue but between that warehouse and a u.s airbase this so-called
22:18alien did a moonlight flit and they've roped me in to try and figure it out
22:22what's worse i think it might have been you they engineered the whole thing
22:26so if you want to live to a ripe old age i'd cough up those photos and stay well out of
22:30their way moonlight flit
22:32you mean disappeared how and more importantly why answer fairly obviously because it had
22:44to look i'm gonna need to talk to him grauman what time can i meet you i'm seeing him at
22:51twelve okay i'll see you then just as soon as i've worked out a little something here with
22:56mr krobotnik
23:03you
23:05you
23:09you
23:15you
23:17you
23:19you
23:21you
23:23cheers ron
23:30you can take him past powdrill's farm and as far as the cheap dip then call it a day
23:38well this is a fascinating development one might almost say messianic the miracle of the
23:44empty tomb
23:46as if what they're telling us is on the level
23:48what the american authority is lying surely not
23:53no no we have to believe that despite their every effort the amiga man has vanished
24:00totally and impossibly and from right under their noses
24:05they're embarrassed to the core no doubt you have an explanation for where it went to
24:12existing as we do in three dimensions it's hard enough for us to imagine a fourth or fifth
24:22but consider a sixth dimension
24:26transcending time and space
24:29where corporal form can be distilled into pure energy
24:33in physical terms such beings would simply
24:37disappear
24:39we know this to be possible from the messages
24:42and
24:43on me
24:44periodically i am contacted by a spirit consciousness from the pleiades star group
24:49called sargo
24:50through me he communicates many ideas about the nature of life on other worlds
24:55philip is what we call a channeler
24:58telepathically receptive to many sources
25:01something not widely understood or i regret readily accepted by modern society
25:07but
25:09come the new age of enlightenment
25:22extraterrestrial biological entity
25:26my lunch
25:37everything
25:38and
25:39i
25:40i think
25:44i think it's a third claw
25:45lucky they had the old video camera running
25:47capture the moment
25:48wasn't it
25:49i think
25:50i think
25:51i think
25:52it's a third claw
25:53lucky they had the old video camera running
25:55to capture the moment
25:56wasn't it
25:57i think
25:58how can it burn you like that
25:59i mean maybe if it got red hot in the desert
26:03but
26:04in a warehouse
26:05together with your material i think we've enough to make a splash
26:16but once i've taken you through all the background perhaps you'd like to stay for dinner
26:20well that was all very lovely oh here let me give you a hand
26:35so jonathan creek you've heard a great deal from me today
26:46what have you to say for yourself not sure you'd want to hear it
26:53try me
26:58all right
27:02let's start with the things we both know as fact
27:06we know as fact the skeleton went into that crate
27:10the crate was sealed and padlocked and closely watched from the moment it left you to the moment
27:15it arrived at the base
27:15we know it was fact that when it was opened the skeleton of the alien was gone
27:20and we both know as fact that was no more the skeleton of an alien than my ass
27:26you see it's hard for me not to feel i don't know a kind of grudging respect for what you do
27:36bottom line we're in the same business we both trick the public
27:40difference is i don't pretend it's real
27:43you use it feed on people's fantasies superstitions
27:51you know exactly what they want and you give it to them
27:54an alien skeleton that's a good one i haven't seen that before
27:59of course if anyone besides you gets to examine it
28:03games up they'll see it's a fake
28:05so what do you do
28:06you make it vanish
28:08into thin air
28:11from an armored truck guarded by six u.s. soldiers
28:15it's perfect
28:18the omega man was not dead
28:21but has achieved a higher level of being
28:25a state of pure spirit
28:28this will be your roswell
28:31meal ticket for life
28:35and the worst of it is you don't even deceive yourself at the back of all this
28:41you're a bigger cynic than i am
28:43you underestimate i think man's essential hunger for meaning in the universe
28:52you also confuse meaning with proof
28:55that the one can't exist without the other
28:58you think our belief in what lies beyond this world is determined by evidence
29:05no
29:06the truth isn't out there
29:10the truth is in here
29:13we create the truth all of us
29:18because
29:20we can't live with the fear of being alone
29:23and little blokes with big heads and three fingers
29:32let me get you another brandy
29:39one can never predict where or when it just happens
29:48there's a certain disconnection with reality
29:52and then it's like
29:53someone
29:54whispering in a huge cave
29:57and that's when i can feel him inside me
29:59shagor
30:00sargor
30:01although he's from the constellation of taurus of course he speaks to me in english
30:05well it's always good to have a second language
30:08and afterwards i transcribe our conversations as accurately as i'm able for professor grauman to study
30:15of course they're terribly useful in his research
30:17you've got a lot of time for the old professor
30:23i can think of no greater honor than to work with him
30:27he's utterly unique
30:29so the thrust of your argument if i have it right
30:35is that i'm nothing more than a glorified conjurer
30:39an argument that would have more weight
30:42if you could show me how i'm supposed to have performed this trick
30:45of course that's where you've got me i can't
30:48even if you'd had an accomplice one of those guys on the truck
30:53oh come on give me more credit than that
30:55ah what
30:56you can see then it was a trick
30:58i'm afraid you'll have to work harder than that mr creek
31:03still the universe is a rather large place
31:10let me try and narrow down your search
31:12consider the nine planets in our solar system
31:17consider one of the nine
31:22that's very cold
31:25it may help in your deliberations
31:29hi
31:42wonder if you can help us trace a young lady advisor camera family here
31:46she'll be about five to 130 pounds short red hair
31:51i'm sorry i think i've got alien overload now
32:05with her and her voices
32:07i mean she has got a real problem
32:10poor woman
32:11as for the rest of it
32:14oh god
32:18i just set the alarm for christmas
32:21hello
32:25consider the nine planets and one of the nine that's very cold
32:31he was telling me for god's sake how he did it
32:34what the hell does that mean
32:36a planet that's very cold
32:38what are the outer planets of the solar system
32:42saturn uranus neptune
32:44i'm going to have to walk about for a bit
32:48give it some air
32:49forgive me if i don't wait up
32:52forgive me if i don't wait up
32:56forgive me if i don't wait up
33:04well good evening miss mcgillen
33:19you can't keep me here
33:24i'm a british citizen
33:26i mean this whole thing is just a farce isn't it
33:30you don't really think it was an alien
33:32so what does it matter
33:33it matters
33:34that we close the file
33:36till we've closed the file
33:38a lot of suits back home get very twitchy
33:40i get twitchy
33:41everyone here is twitchy
33:44well look professor grauman
33:46professor grauman is on our list of interviewees
33:49have no worries
33:50but hey just for fun
33:52we thought we'd start with you
34:00we thought we'd start with you
34:30because we're just gonna go
34:31let's have a lot of..
34:34yes
34:35even if it's happening
34:36so..
34:37i always say
34:39for..
34:40not sure
34:40let's have 你
34:41please
34:46and
34:48ask this
34:49to
34:50nd
34:51I
34:52just
34:53I
34:54need to
34:54聞
34:56please
34:57at
34:59I
35:00Jonathan, if you can hear me, will you please pick up the phone?
35:05Now?
35:07Only, I'm in a slight spot of bother at this end.
35:26You know this woman?
35:30Well, I know of her.
35:34Who doesn't?
35:37If I could just have a few minutes.
35:40I demand you get your boss in here now and tell him I want to take the Fifth Amendment!
35:48What is the Fifth Amendment?
35:50All night they've had me in here.
35:52Didn't get a wink of sleep.
35:54One of the nine planets.
35:56Of course, he could be talking about Earth, but then why very cold?
36:01I'm just trying to make me stew, so I'll tell them something.
36:04The coldest of the planets, of course, would be Pluto.
36:09Jonathan!
36:12Sorry?
36:13I'm getting seriously worried here.
36:16You don't know what these people will do to try and extract information.
36:19What if they inject a truth drug into me?
36:24It wouldn't stand a chance.
36:26Oh, thank you for being so constructive about all this.
36:29You're really settling my nerves.
36:31There's an answer here somewhere in this riddle of his.
36:34If I could just...
36:35Oh, never in a million years he couldn't have.
36:44What?
36:46You've sussed it.
36:48How?
36:50One of the nine.
36:53Sometimes it pays to be literal rather than lateral.
36:56Excuse me.
36:58I couldn't have one last look at that shed.
37:00So, listen.
37:24You know what I think?
37:26I think you stole this thing so you could sell it
37:29to one of your Rupert Murdoch outlets here
37:31for a very large sum of money.
37:33No, I've told you...
37:34I think you're just pretending to be stupid,
37:36but really you're not stupid at all.
37:38That is not true.
37:39I definitely...
37:41I mean...
37:42I am not pretending anything.
37:45I haven't done anything.
37:47I don't know anything.
37:54Please, can I go home?
37:56Come in.
38:01Captain Candy.
38:02Sorry about the delay.
38:03As are we all, Mr. Creek.
38:05If you're just about through wasting our time...
38:08I can tell you now where it is.
38:09So far, I'd have to say that your assistance
38:10has fallen some way short of an...
38:13Pardon me?
38:14The EBE.
38:16Only thing is, depends how badly you want it back.
38:19Come on, what is this?
38:19Some kind of a...
38:20Because it will cost you $100,000.
38:22What?
38:22The fee for my services.
38:26I think you said something about...
38:28unlimited resources at your disposal.
38:34First, we recover the property.
38:37Then, we'll discuss terms.
38:38Okay, Miss Magellan.
39:01Nice knowing you.
39:02Oh, sorry?
39:03Goodbye.
39:04What is...
39:07You mean that, I'm free to...
39:08Unless you want to hang about here all day.
39:09Good morning.
39:34I'm sorry, was the professor expecting you?
39:36Oh, I don't imagine there's much takes him by surprise.
39:38Come to commend him on his ingenuity, actually.
39:41As fine a piece of technical trickery as I've ever come across.
39:45Trickery?
39:45What do you mean by that, exactly?
39:49My notes on the Filingdale sightings.
39:51Can we get a copy off to Michael at Bantam?
39:53Yes, yes, of course.
39:54I'll email it now.
39:56I'll, um, tag along, if you don't mind.
40:01You have an air of triumph about you this morning.
40:03Well, my little clue was a risk, though it would have defeated most men.
40:09But I was keen to test your powers.
40:17You've shared your findings, of course, with our American friends.
40:19Or they'd have been on our backs forevermore.
40:22Of course, they're basically philistines.
40:27The sheer elegance of it went for nothing.
40:31It's been proved the alien was a hoax.
40:33End of story.
40:35Shayankos, from a design point of view, had some nice quirky features.
40:39The strange silvery colour, the single, unsegmented bone.
40:43Except they weren't just quirky features.
40:49Maybe the cornerstone of the whole trick.
40:55A comment the captain made, just looking at it, sent a chill down his spine.
41:00The fact it could burn human flesh, and still I couldn't see it.
41:04Until he gave me that thought to chew upon.
41:07One of the nine planets that's very cold.
41:10So, naturally, I'm going to think of the ones furthest from the sun.
41:14Wrong.
41:15The words had another, more direct meaning.
41:19One of the nine was just that.
41:24Number one.
41:26The first planet, counting outwards from the sun, is Mercury.
41:30Which, of course, makes it the hottest.
41:33Mercury, the planet.
41:34But Mercury, the element, quicksilver, if I remember my chemistry,
41:39has one or two very odd properties.
41:41It's the only metal to remain liquid at room temperature.
41:46To get solid Mercury, you have to take it all the way down to...
41:49I don't know.
41:50Minus 38.87 Celsius.
41:53Which is exactly what you did.
41:54Of course, one has specialist backup to put these ideas into operation.
42:08Much the same as yourself, I imagine.
42:10To your average punter, a figure made out of frozen Mercury is like nothing they've ever seen on this Earth.
42:26Better than that, leave it out of the fridge for more than a short while,
42:30and it can do something quite magical.
42:32It can disappear, like an ice cube in the sun.
42:36You knew those troops were going to show up.
42:42It was probably you who tipped them off.
42:44Of course, the case was chilled from underneath.
42:47Anyone standing next to it is going to feel a shiver when the top comes off.
42:51And at that temperature, anyone who touches it is going to get a nasty burn.
42:56But then it's disconnected, locked in a crate.
42:59And by the time they get it back to base, after a long ride inside a hot truck,
43:06the whole thing safely melted down inside the base of that crater.
43:10To all intents and purposes, it's vanished.
43:39The only evidence that ever existed, a few photos and that video footage you mocked up using a duplicate skeleton.
43:48More than enough, I imagine, to pack them in on your lecture tours around the world.
43:54Have I left anything out?
43:55In many ways, the most important thing of all.
44:05So how long have you worked for him now, Professor Grauman?
44:09Tell the truth, I've lost track of the years.
44:12Just as I've tried to blot out everything that went before.
44:16Quite simply, he saved me from the world and everyone in it.
44:22When you have a special gift, as I do, people are inclined to, well, you can imagine the hurtful things they come out with.
44:31To find someone who was different, who understood, was more than I'd a right to hope for.
44:41He and I, of course, we aren't, um...
44:45You know.
44:45I just know that if anyone ever said or did anything to destroy him, it will be the end of us both.
44:54The greatest pain sometimes comes from our own self-knowledge.
45:07What we are in the eyes of others.
45:10What we know ourselves to be.
45:14There are many falsehoods upon which we build our lives.
45:18Not all of them to be condemned.
45:20Expose me, my work, as you like.
45:25But, as I said to you before,
45:29belief is indomitable.
45:34You'll never stop men reaching for the stars in search of their destiny.
45:38We were born to explore the heavens.
45:41To seek.
45:42To probe.
45:43Until one day, what?
45:46We have a telescope powerful enough to see God.
45:50The only limits of human endeavour are the limits of our own imagination.
45:58Yeah.
45:58Well...
45:59So, we'll leave you both to it then.
46:01Time's getting on.
46:03And, um...
46:04Well, good luck with it all.
46:20Something up?
46:32No.
46:35What is it?
46:37Nothing.
46:38Better make a move, then, I suppose.
46:50Okay.
46:53And I'll see you around.
46:55So, they coughed it up, then, did they?
47:11Sorry?
47:13Feed for your services.
47:14A hundred thousand dollars.
47:15Oh.
47:18They did, actually.
47:20Thought I was Chance of Mom a bit, to be honest, but...
47:22The US government just a drop in the oceans for a second.
47:27What?
47:28Don't know.
47:29Just came a bit out of left field, that one.
47:33Just shows how little I really know you, I suppose.
47:36Yeah, well, in point of...
47:38Still.
47:39Set you up nicely to impress all those teenage girlies.
47:43Be able to show them a great time.
47:45Take them for a ride in your Porsche.
47:47Yes, I don't quite see myself...
47:48Bye, then.
48:05Bye, then.
48:35You bastard.
48:40You utter, complete bastard.
49:05Bye, then.
49:28Bye.
49:32Bye, then.
49:34Amen.
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