- 3 months ago
First broadcast 17th May 1997.
After Maddy successfully campaigns to free a man she believes to have been wrongly imprisoned for murder, the elderly husband of the victim is found shot dead in his nuclear fall-out shelter.
John Bluthal - Jack Holiday
Colin Stinton - Scott Reisner
Bernard Kay - Oliver
Maureen O'Brien - Kirsten Holiday
Robin Soans - Alan Rokesmith
June Watson - Rachel Rokesmith
Caroline Quentin - Maddy Magellan
Helena McCarthy - Mrs Rokesmith
Andrew Powell - Police Officer at Shelter
David Thorpe - Police Officer in Cottage
Alan Davies - Jonathan Creek
Geoffrey Beevers - Neville Spivey
William Franklyn - Narrator of Banana Commercial (voice)
Emma Noble - Girl in Banana Commercial
After Maddy successfully campaigns to free a man she believes to have been wrongly imprisoned for murder, the elderly husband of the victim is found shot dead in his nuclear fall-out shelter.
John Bluthal - Jack Holiday
Colin Stinton - Scott Reisner
Bernard Kay - Oliver
Maureen O'Brien - Kirsten Holiday
Robin Soans - Alan Rokesmith
June Watson - Rachel Rokesmith
Caroline Quentin - Maddy Magellan
Helena McCarthy - Mrs Rokesmith
Andrew Powell - Police Officer at Shelter
David Thorpe - Police Officer in Cottage
Alan Davies - Jonathan Creek
Geoffrey Beevers - Neville Spivey
William Franklyn - Narrator of Banana Commercial (voice)
Emma Noble - Girl in Banana Commercial
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00If you think a banana is a banana is a banana, try unzipping a tonga.
00:09They're firm, but not too firm.
00:19Ripe, but not too ripe.
00:22Delicious, but not too ripe.
00:31In fact, so tasty it doesn't last bite.
00:35You'll see why they're everyone's top banana.
00:40Well, almost everyone's.
00:47I mean, what can I say? There isn't a laugh in the show.
00:50For a start, I'm barely on the screen.
00:52What have I got, four close-ups?
00:54And there's no trigger points anywhere because you never cut in for the joke.
00:59Jack, I don't have time for one of these lectures.
01:02I'd like to watch my son growing up.
01:04Plus, the funniest sight gag of the lot we seem to have lost for some reason.
01:09Jack, look, certain jokes that would have been acceptable 20, 30 years ago,
01:13today we have to be a little more sensitive.
01:15And, you know, the image of a man parking the front wheel of his bike
01:19between a girl's buttocks in the current climate, uh...
01:22Isn't PC, is that what you're telling me?
01:24Where this is?
01:25Scott, it's a pile of crap.
01:28To me, comedy is about truth.
01:30It's about reality.
01:32In reality, there's no way a bicycle's gonna slip on a banana skin.
01:36That's where you lose your audience.
01:38I disagree, though.
01:39Buy into that because it's consciously surreal.
01:42See, the essence of this campaign is we take Jack Holliday,
01:45legendary king of slapstick,
01:47and subvert the knockabout form that made you famous.
01:50Look, this whole discussion is academic
01:52because a client's gonna hack it to shreds anyway.
01:54So, uh, look, stop worrying about it and, uh, bank the checks, okay?
01:57Look, I gotta go.
01:58Uh, I'll call you next week.
02:00Goodbye, Jack.
02:02Goodbye, Jack.
02:32Goodbye, Jack.
02:33I'll call you next week.
02:34Goodbye, Jack.
02:35Goodbye, Jack.
02:36Goodbye, Jack.
02:37Goodbye, Jack.
02:38Goodbye, Jack.
02:39Goodbye, Jack.
02:56Good morning, Kirsten.
02:57How's it looking?
02:58Uh, ask your husband.
03:02Dare I ask how it went?
03:23Not good.
03:26Well, it gets worse, I'm afraid.
03:29They're releasing Ropesmith at noon tomorrow.
03:44Finally, I want to thank my sister Rachel,
03:50who never for one second doubted my innocence,
03:54and everyone who's campaigned for my relief,
03:57Miss Magellan in particular.
03:59For bringing this whole case back to national attention.
04:03Yes, I think it's worth remembering,
04:05if there was a death penalty in this country,
04:07Alan Rokesmith would have hanged.
04:10And if he had been hanged nine years ago,
04:12I think it's safe to say he wouldn't look too good in these photos today.
04:16Such was the media's obsession with the murder of Jennifer Holliday,
04:20that Mr Rokesmith here was virtually tried, convicted and sentenced
04:23by the tabloid press who, as usual, prove themselves to be as inaccurate as they are illiterate.
04:29Can you spell that, please?
04:32Right.
04:33And I find it hard to credit that even as we arrived today,
04:37this cheque was pressed into my hand for £150,000
04:41to be divided between us for my brother's story.
04:44This, from the very people who helped to put him away.
04:48Do you think any of us is interested in money?
04:57Money can't restore nine years of a man's life.
05:01All I ask now is the peace and privacy
05:05to go away and rebuild my self-respect.
05:27Anyone at home?
05:29Mum?
05:31Someone to see you.
06:01So, Alan, where to from here?
06:13I've got it all planned.
06:16I'm going to rent a little cottage on the Welsh coast.
06:19Away from the press and the media.
06:22The locks and keys.
06:24Take a boat out, maybe.
06:25Take a boat out, maybe.
06:27Do a bit of fishing.
06:29And just breathe in the freedom.
06:36It's funny.
06:38Nine years staring at a wall.
06:42You do a lot of thinking.
06:43About guilt.
06:43About guilt.
06:47And innocence.
06:49About your life.
06:52In a strange way, it helps you to find yourself.
06:55It's affected him, there's no question.
07:05It's last two weeks since they let that man out.
07:07Because he blames himself.
07:11He always has done.
07:12For what happened.
07:13If he'd been here that weekend.
07:15If he hadn't gone to L.A. for that casting meeting.
07:18If.
07:19If.
07:21If.
07:23When I rang him up to break the news.
07:25God help me if I ever had to live through that again.
07:32He's not in the house anywhere.
07:33The terrace.
07:34No.
07:35Maybe he's gone for a walk.
07:36He'd never leave the house alone.
07:37Something's happened.
07:38They've picked up something in the garage.
08:08That's the entrance to the nuclear shelter. No-one's been down there in years.
08:17Locked on the other side. Could we get a crowbar or something?
08:38How are we gonna get inside this thing? It won't be easy.
09:08The door is at the door.
09:21The door is at the door.
09:26The door is at the door.
09:30Nobody touch anything.
10:00Who's done this?
10:06I mean, no doubt I'm afraid this was self-inflicted.
10:08No, he can't have.
10:10Look, perhaps it's best if you just...
10:13God's sake, Jack didn't shoot himself. He couldn't have.
10:17He had crippling arthritis in both hands. Someone set this up.
10:22Mrs. Holliday, we're 30 feet underground.
10:26You saw yourself how those doors were bolted on the inside.
10:29It's a simple physical fact.
10:32Nobody could possibly have killed your husband
10:35and then left this room.
10:59Oh, hi. How are you?
11:12Oh, you know, bits and pieces, usual nonsense.
11:16No, I'm not, actually. This show's not on at the moment.
11:20Adam's got a disease of the inner ear.
11:23What do you call that thing where you keep losing your balance?
11:26Labyrinthitis.
11:27It just suddenly came on last Thursday.
11:29Top of the show, walks on stage, huge round of applause,
11:31fell in the orchestra pit.
11:33Had to carry him to the ambulance on a xylophone.
11:36It's a right old performance.
11:38They took him to hospital, gave him a brain scan.
11:41Didn't find a thing.
11:43So he's just got to stay in bed and rest, basically.
11:46So anyway, what have you been up to?
11:49Sorry?
11:51Tomorrow? What time?
11:54Hang on, I'll just look at the diary.
11:57No, that's fine.
12:01Yeah.
12:02Sounds great.
12:07Okay.
12:08See you then.
12:09Bye.
12:27Morning.
12:28You're useful to have a round.
12:41This is illegal.
12:42I'm just curious to see how these are.
12:48Morning.
12:49You're useful to have a round.
12:52This is illegal.
12:53I'm just curious to see how these are.
12:57I see what you're about.
12:59So how are things in the old investigative journalism department these days?
13:03Yeah.
13:04Still learning a crust here and there.
13:06And Trevor?
13:07Trevor and I were getting on each other's nerves in the end,
13:10so I did the mature thing and set fire to his underpants.
13:13Listen, since we spoke, I've had a thought.
13:16How do you fancy a drive down to the coast today,
13:19flush out the carbon monoxide with a bit of sea air?
13:21That's a tempting idea.
13:23And I'm going to have to put this back on once I've worked ahead.
13:26And lock it.
13:3142 seconds.
13:36Interesting.
13:37Yeah.
13:38I'm very impressed.
13:39It takes me that long sometimes with the tea.
13:41Yeah.
13:42I can imagine.
13:45Where did you get hold of this?
13:46Sorry.
13:47Good journalist.
13:48I have to protect my sources.
13:50They're brilliant things.
13:51You can park anywhere in London.
13:53I'll pop it back in the boot for me and we'll be off.
13:55I nearly rang you.
14:02I'd get as far as the last digit and something would always stop me.
14:07I suppose it was the thought of getting sucked into another one of your grisly murder investigations.
14:13You know how you always fear the worst.
14:21Stop this car.
14:22Jonathan.
14:23Flush out the carbon monoxide with some sea air.
14:26Look, just hear me out then.
14:27If you're not interested, I'll forget it.
14:29OK?
14:32You know Jack Holliday shot himself last week.
14:34Yeah, it's the only thing he's ever done that made me laugh.
14:36Oh, great.
14:37The poor man's dead.
14:38I don't suppose that will stop him overacting.
14:39One of his many homes down on the south coast where he had some sort of nuclear bunker put
14:44in around the town of Afghanistan.
14:47No suicide note, but he was obviously depressed.
14:49Yeah, due to the fact that the guy who strangled his first wife has just been released from
14:53prison with your assistance.
14:55Alan Rokesmith didn't strangle Jennifer Holliday.
14:59He was the victim of a squalid miscarriage of justice.
15:02As I remember it, he was found leaning over the corpse in an alleyway with a length of
15:06nylon cord in his hand.
15:08Exactly!
15:09And that flimsy evidence, they put him away.
15:12Right, look.
15:13A brief history lesson.
15:15The night holiday's wife is murdered.
15:18Rokesmith is in the next street discussing business with a prostitute.
15:21They both hear a scream.
15:23Rokesmith runs round to see what's happened.
15:25The young slapper pops it.
15:27Rokesmith's no sooner at the body than is untying a rope from around her neck
15:31when the coppers arrive on the scene to nick him.
15:34Circumstantial evidence he's put away for a crime he didn't commit.
15:38He's taken his sister the best part of five years to find that prostitute and get her
15:43to come forward.
15:44She showed me the evidence and I just kept pestering and publicising
15:50till the Home Office finally saw sense and granted a reprieve.
15:54All right.
15:55Can I ask for all this is needed?
15:58To the glove compartment.
16:03Came yesterday from Holiday's second wife who's blaming me for his death.
16:07As far as she's concerned, Rokesmith was guilty and I set him free to kill again.
16:14You meddling, misguided cow.
16:17Thanks to your liberal, in inverted commas, pamphleteering, my husband is dead.
16:24You're no more than scum.
16:26Like all reporters, an oily, egotistical parasite.
16:29Yes, all right.
16:30You didn't read it with such relish.
16:32It's the last bit.
16:35I know Jack was murdered and I intend to find out how, no matter how long it takes.
16:41May you rot in whole Kingston Roadies?
16:44Kirsten Rogers.
16:46Used to be his secretary.
16:48They got married about a year after the death of his first wife.
16:53Look, Jack Holiday killed himself.
16:58The whole thing's self-evident, but I just need to confirm it.
17:02To prove there's no other possible explanation.
17:05How come I get Rokes into this?
17:08Because there's no way she's going to let me start poking round the premises.
17:12Besides which, this is your specialist field.
17:15A body in a locked room.
17:17Please.
17:18My integrity and peace of mind?
17:21I don't think so.
17:23For a hundred quid.
17:24I'll need to stop this car.
17:25Jonathan, where's your sense of justice and fair play?
17:28Stop the car.
17:29I demand you stop the car now.
17:51Where do we start?
17:58Okay.
17:59Here's the script.
18:00I give Kirsten a ring on your behalf, explaining who you are, that you work for a magician, et cetera, et cetera.
18:05That you've read about the case in the papers, offering your professional services, if she's interested,
18:10in checking out that underground chamber.
18:13And what if she's not interested?
18:15She was.
18:16Welcome to the house of fun.
18:30Good luck.
18:31If you need me, I'll be talking to a builder.
18:34Lovely thing about my husband.
18:37Even now, no one can say the name Jack Holliday without breaking into a smile.
18:44One of the obituaries said, he left behind a legacy of laughter.
18:50A heritage of hilarity that will survive us all, Mrs. Holliday.
18:55This is the outfit he wore in Jack the Lad, 1967.
19:03The actual outfit.
19:06Wow.
19:08The trousers were always weighted inside the waistband to make sure they fell on cue straight down to the ankles in one movement.
19:16They stopped halfway or got bunched around the knees. It wasn't funny.
19:20It was amazing.
19:22You don't realize the scientific precision that's involved.
19:27That was with his first wife, Jennifer, on the set of Jack to a King, 1962.
19:46I see there was a slight age difference.
19:49He proposed to her when she was seven.
19:52She accepted.
19:54He moved to America for 15 years.
19:56And when he came back, he kept his promise.
20:00The stuff of fairy tales.
20:03I was on the payroll then as his secretary.
20:08There wasn't a happier marriage in show business until they started getting these cranky phone calls.
20:16Death threats and what have you. Jack was scared out of his wits.
20:21He was a massive neurosis at the best of times.
20:24One minute it was the collapsing universe, the next nuclear war.
20:28I remember that day he left for Los Angeles.
20:31His last words to Jennifer, begging her to take care.
20:34Leave nothing to chance.
20:36Three days later, she'd been to the theatre with some friends.
20:40She was taking a shortcut back to her car.
20:42Through the grief and the pain, we became closer.
20:59By the mid-eighties, his career was all but over.
21:01The body had started to seize up.
21:03He'd all but lost the use of his hands.
21:04The fingers wouldn't even bend.
21:06That's how I know he couldn't have fired that gun.
21:10And why would this happen now?
21:12Just after that man was released, unless...
21:21Any light you can shed on the possible mechanics of all this, Mr. Creek, I'd be very grateful.
21:26I'll get Oliver to take you down if that's all right.
21:28He's been with Jack longer than anyone.
21:30I don't think I can face that room again just yet.
21:37Access to the shelter is down a stairwell roughly 12 metres deep.
21:41It's the minimum for any realistic protection at the edge of a thermonuclear blast.
21:46The contractors we used had built several like it around the country.
21:50It's based loosely on the Swiss model.
21:52Mr. Holidays, of course, would have been more robust
21:54because it's set smack inside the Cliff Rock,
21:57which had to be hollowed out with jackhammers and God knows what else I seem to remember.
22:02It was an 18-month job.
22:04Sir, the chances of anyone, say, tunneling down into this thing
22:08or somehow breaking into it...
22:10Are absolutely nil, believe me.
22:13You're looking at an impenetrable cube.
22:16Floors, walls, ceiling, all cast from reinforced concrete,
22:2050 centimetres thick, lined with traditional bricks and mortar,
22:23and a single door made from solid armoured plate
22:27with bolts and deadlocks all on the inside.
22:32I would recommend a kill.
22:34I'd recommend a gunner in the middle of the street!
22:36To leave the table if you're in the middle of the street is come down.
22:38I have no typing in the middle of the street.
22:39No one tries to go alone.
22:40I'm going to leave.
22:41I can't remember when I was home.
22:42Go.
22:43Go.
22:44Go.
22:45Go.
22:46Go.
22:47Go.
22:48Go.
22:49Go.
22:50Go.
22:51Go.
22:52Go.
22:53Go.
22:54Go.
22:55Go!
22:56Go.
22:58Go.
22:59when did you say it was built early 80s right after the soviets moved into
23:16kabul everyone thought the lot was going up
23:18of course by the time they finished the basic construction work
23:21it had all cooled off jack told them to forget it
23:24they hadn't even put the doors in or the lavatory
23:27his body was just through here
23:33head pointing that way gone in his right hand
23:57well that would have been the toilet got as far as the pipework and the floor and that was it
24:07quite a majestic lavatory that was jack
24:31odd box says 40 watt bulb inside is 100
24:50anyone else would have known about this shelter
24:56can't have been many who didn't he loved showing it off
24:59like a big boy
25:01a boy with a train set sometimes
25:04so what do we think
25:14it's something to do with the door isn't it
25:17cards on the table mrs holiday that door's as solid as a rock
25:23and from the way it's been locked nothing of this earth could have passed through afterwards
25:28seven messages six of them fax signals
25:35how do you get this thing to fast forward is it star
25:39oh yeah could you just glance at the road do you think every now and then that way we may
25:44get to keep all their limbs and all right stop panicking i'm in control
25:51xxx
25:56oh yeah
25:58message from road smith
26:00asking me to get in touch asap
26:02that's what he wants
26:02so can you fish out his number for me
26:05yeah yes i've got it i've got it
26:06you drive i'll die okay
26:16god you're a twitchy passenger
26:17It's really making me nervous, being in the car with you.
26:22There's no reply from Mr. Ronesmith.
26:25Of course he won't be there, will he?
26:28No, he's going away for the week, renting a cottage.
26:31Going away to relish his freedom.
26:35Oh, I didn't leave a number.
26:39Anyway, I think it's been a very useful session.
26:43I think we've put paid to that murder theory, once and for all,
26:46for which I owe you a very large drink.
26:50Mmm.
26:52What?
26:54What?
26:56Sorry?
26:57What's with the mmm?
26:59And that irritating, crinkled look that says there's more to this than meets the eye?
27:03You said yourself Holiday was the only one who could have locked the door behind him.
27:08Depending how bad his hands really were.
27:11According to his wife, he couldn't so much as turn them a tap.
27:14Yet it apparently just starred in a TV commercial for bananas.
27:19There you are, then. Doesn't square, does it?
27:21Something doesn't square here.
27:23I've seen it with my own eyes.
27:27I can't for the life of me tell you what it is.
27:30More Gary to edit tweet three, please.
27:36More Gary.
27:38Hi, Scott Reisner.
27:39Yeah.
27:40Maddie and Miguel, and I rang last night about Jack Holiday.
27:42This morning, but let's not be picky.
27:43You've never gone twelve.
27:45No wonder you look rough.
27:46You should do the same as me and I've left his own.
27:50You'll see why they're everyone's top banana.
27:53Well, what just everyone's?
27:56That's astonishing.
27:58You think so?
28:00It was all done with doubles.
28:02Jack's pratfall days were over.
28:04It was all rusted up.
28:06Like walking rigor mortis.
28:08Let me show you something.
28:1129, take 13.
28:14And action!
28:15Sorry, can we go again? Someone's in front of the monitor.
28:25Fine. In your own time, Chris. Don't worry if you're in shot.
28:28We can mat around it.
28:31That is...
28:33What are you telling me?
28:34Jack Holiday needed a stuntman to peel a banana.
28:38He couldn't do anything with his hands.
28:41And if you're asking me if you could have turned a key in a lock,
28:43pulled a heavy lever on the back of a door,
28:45and then loaded a gun and emptied it into his head,
28:48I'd say not unless something very miraculous happened
28:50in the last two weeks of his life.
29:09Alan?
29:11You here?
29:13You have your son,
29:14I don't know.
29:44I don't know.
30:14I don't know.
30:20What is it?
30:22This cottage is being rented by Mr Alan Rokesmith.
30:26Yes, my brother.
30:28Where is he?
30:30What's happened?
30:32I'm afraid they've just found the remains of his boat.
30:36I'm very sorry.
30:37So, what did they think?
30:45It hit some rocks, or...?
30:48They just said it was in pieces.
30:51I don't know why they thought they could manage our fishing boat.
30:55I don't know what possessed him.
30:57He just had this thing in his head about getting right out, into the open, as far as possible.
31:07What nine years in a steel cage do for you?
31:16And they think it happened when?
31:21Sometime on Thursday.
31:24That's where his diary finished.
31:26First thing Thursday morning.
31:28He left a message on my machine Monday afternoon.
31:33It sounded fairly urgent, but...
31:36I didn't have a number for him.
31:40You didn't happen to root out all those old letters for me, did you?
31:44I mean, if you didn't, it's no problem.
31:45What, no.
31:46They're here somewhere.
31:49Great, because when I come to write all this up, it'll just give me chapter and verse.
31:54Thanks.
31:56That's, I think, everything he brought back with him when he came out.
32:00Stuff from the solicitor.
32:03All your letters.
32:06And mine.
32:09Letters from some confectionery company, it looks like.
32:13At an orderly place for some fudge.
32:15I'm afraid I haven't had time to sort it all out.
32:20Weird, that.
32:22When he always hated fudge.
32:25I'm just gutted.
32:27The whole thing should end like this, after all that we've...
32:32What did he say?
32:36Sorry?
32:37He said...
32:39He hated fudge.
32:45I'm not the old wreckage of a boat with no sign of a body.
32:51That's just what you don't need.
32:52Another murder disguised as an accident.
32:55Sorry?
32:55Oh, a sort of mushroomy thing with cheese.
33:01Cross and Blackwell, I think.
33:03When did all this happen?
33:04Well, Thursday sometime, we presume.
33:06There was nothing in his diary for yesterday morning.
33:09I don't know, just when I was starting to believe it.
33:12Holiday's death really was suicide.
33:13The whole thing starts to skew the other way again.
33:17I don't know what to think.
33:19I've got a list of things this, then, that are making no sense whatsoever.
33:29All I can say is, if it was conceived as a trick, it's a bloody good one.
33:33Not only have you got a locked, airtight room that no-one can get out of,
33:36even if you did get out, where are you going to go?
33:38You're in the middle of a cliff.
33:39So, it must have been a suicide.
33:44Except, it wasn't.
33:47Because, oh, look, do you mind if I just lie down here for a minute and die?
33:56You were the one who wanted to come back down here again.
33:59Yes, all right.
34:05Holiday locked himself in the bunker using some sort of lever.
34:09Or a device that he could operate with his crippled hands.
34:14Which he then dropped down the hole.
34:16Where that Lou was going to go.
34:19He had some special tool that enabled him to pull the trigger.
34:25Like an arthritic suicide aid?
34:27Which was on elastic.
34:30So that when he collapsed, it also disappeared down the hole.
34:34Making it look like a suicide that wasn't quite convincing enough.
34:39To really be suicide.
34:43Amazing.
34:45Yes?
34:48Why?
34:50Sorry?
34:51Why did he do that rather eccentric thing you've just described as opposed to shooting himself in the sitting room?
34:58Those letters of rokesmiths, can I have another quick squint?
35:07Well, all they say is thank you for ordering our quality fudge and stuff like that.
35:15We have had some difficulty acquiring supplies.
35:18Well, maybe it's me, but I just thought it was odd.
35:20That he'd keep something like that from nine years ago.
35:25Postmarks were all from around the time he was first arrested.
35:29I mean, fudge.
35:31Which, according to his sister, he absolutely detested, even as a boy.
35:35That is odd.
35:36One for your lateral brain.
35:41Hmm.
35:45Well, time is getting on.
35:48I think we'd better get back to the car.
35:50Oh, right.
35:53That's it, is it?
35:56Well, so far, you have been a great help, I must say.
36:01Look, can I just get one thing straight here?
36:03You are absolutely convinced that Jack Holliday wasn't murdered.
36:07No.
36:11I'm absolutely convinced he was murdered.
36:14The only question is how.
36:19Suppose someone had a reason to kill Jack and Jennifer Holliday in the first place.
36:24They set up a load of death threats to make it look like a crank killing.
36:27Jennifer ends up strangled in an alleyway.
36:30Alan Rokesmith, who just happens to be around at the time,
36:34goes to jail, accused of the murder.
36:35The real killer's got away with it.
36:40Nine years later, Rokesmith's released.
36:43Now's their chance to kill Jack Holliday.
36:45And everyone will think it's Rokesmith again.
36:48But just to make sure Rokesmith's not around to clear himself
36:51or come up with any alibis, he's disposed of as well.
36:54I'd buy that much, but it still doesn't tell us
36:56how the killer shot Holliday and then left the room.
36:59No.
37:01And it doesn't explain why 100-watt lightbulbs in a 40-watt packet
37:05or why that bloody lavatory keeps coming back to haunt me.
37:12Come on, I'm getting soaked to the skin here.
37:15I can't find the keys, for goodness sake.
37:19Oh.
37:20What?
37:21When I emptied my bag out up there, I'll bet I accidentally...
37:26Thanks.
37:30Any preference for a CV?
37:41Now I'm covered.
37:55So tell me about Rokesmith.
37:58Before he went to Jack, where did he work?
37:59Hmm.
38:02Telecommunications.
38:04Sales rep of some sort.
38:06Not a versily odd backhander.
38:08Do dodgy deals.
38:10He never said he was a saint.
38:12That doesn't mean he was a murderer.
38:14As far as we know,
38:15the only women he really figured in his life
38:17were his sister and his mother.
38:19Who he obviously adored.
38:20There you go.
38:21Simple.
38:22Isn't it always?
38:23What have you found?
38:25Nothing.
38:26It's taken me two hours.
38:29I've been staring at these words,
38:30looking for hidden messages and codes,
38:32and the whole point is there aren't any.
38:33It's got nothing to do with fudge at all.
38:36The fudge is just something someone's made up
38:37as an excuse to write to him.
38:39It's not in the letters.
38:40It's on the envelopes.
38:41Look.
38:41It's screaming at you.
38:59Sorry.
39:02Let's go upstairs.
39:11Is there a break in the franking mount
39:19where it's not quite perfectly aligned?
39:22No.
39:25Yeah.
39:26Just about.
39:27Well, that shows that the stamps
39:28on each of these envelopes
39:30have been removed
39:31and then stopped by franking.
39:33What would be the point of that?
39:35I suppose you wanted to write to someone in prison
39:37without the authorities or anybody else reading it.
39:39Oh, come here.
39:45What?
39:46You mean like...
39:47if he was having a secret affair or something?
39:51He was at it
39:52with someone he shouldn't have been
39:53and they sent each other messages
39:55underneath the stamps
39:56that they...
39:58presto!
39:59I can see you writing.
40:03You do this a bit too well.
40:05Just improvising.
40:06I'm so sorry about what's happened.
40:12I pray it will yet be resolved somehow.
40:15You must try to be patient.
40:19I know things are looking bad right now.
40:23But if the truth comes out,
40:25it would be the end of everything.
40:26Don't give up hope.
40:31These are dark times.
40:33I appreciate your silence
40:35and you have my word.
40:37I'll stand by my pledge to you
40:39come what may.
40:45Sounds like a pretty heavy relationship.
40:48With a married woman, maybe?
40:52Makes sense he'd have kept them.
40:53Helps him through, probably.
40:56I don't quite see how they help us, though.
40:59No.
41:05You did well tonight.
41:08Going back for those keys.
41:11Right.
41:12It's got a lot of points.
41:15Mm-hmm.
41:16I'll say goodnight, then.
41:32See you downstairs about eight.
41:34Bye.
41:35What?
42:00Bye.
42:00Bye.
42:01Bye.
42:01Bye.
42:02Bye.
42:02Bye.
42:03Bye.
42:03Bye.
42:03Bye.
42:04Oh, my God.
42:34Oh, my God.
43:04Yeah.
43:06Did you put a melon on my pillow with a knife through it?
43:22Yeah.
43:24Drunk?
43:26How can I be drunk at 8.30 in the morning?
43:29You were the one knocking back the Chianti last night.
43:31You did everything but suck the corks.
43:32Three glasses and there were small ones.
43:35My giddy aunt.
43:37Who put that there?
43:39You didn't.
43:41Yeah, like I'm going to get up in the middle of the night and come in here and start mucking about in your bedroom.
43:47There's a note.
43:48I could have come in here and found you with your throat slit.
44:03Yeah.
44:04I think I saw one of those little sewing kits in the bathroom.
44:08It's just such an emergency.
44:10Someone must have slipped in here, come upstairs and into my room.
44:14Someone who wants us off this story.
44:17Someone who's worried we're getting too close to the truth.
44:23Too close.
44:35There's something in the lavatory.
44:38What?
44:40It's been hounding me from day one and that's it.
44:44What?
44:45What has?
44:46I'm supposed to guess now, for goodness sake.
44:48I've no time to lose.
44:49Right.
44:50Where are we going?
44:51Anywhere.
44:52Get away from here as possible.
44:53That could be my head skewered to the mattress.
44:55Now, just hang about.
44:56You can't tell me you've unravelled this whole thing and then just bugger off.
45:00What kind of spinous cretin are you?
45:02No special kind.
45:03Just your average cretin.
45:05With a train to catch.
45:10Deep breaths now, Jonathan.
45:13Then you're going to tell me everything.
45:15And then we are going to do whatever's necessary to see this through.
45:22Good morning.
45:23Is Mrs. Holiday around?
45:24She is.
45:25But I don't imagine she's in the mood for visitors.
45:39Mr. Preak.
45:40I wasn't expecting...
45:42Good morning, Mrs. Holiday.
45:46Maddy Magellan.
45:48I got your letter.
45:50What is this?
45:52Oh, you've come back to tell me it was impossible.
45:57I let the police and everyone else.
45:59Whoever did this managed to fool the lot of you.
46:03Certainly fooled me, Mrs. Holiday.
46:05Even in my darkest dreams, I never saw it coming.
46:08With your permission, we'd like to go down to the shelter to carry out a little experiment.
46:15When I first checked this place out the other day, I couldn't for the life of me spot the chink in the armor.
46:35Here we are inside a room, inside a block of concrete, inside a cliff.
46:40The only way in or out is through this door.
46:44A door that could only have been locked the way it was by someone inside the room.
46:49Except there was no one else in the room.
46:52Only Jack Holiday.
46:54To all intents and purposes, he had to have killed himself.
46:58And I've told you he couldn't have. Why won't anyone believe me?
47:01Because what you're suggesting is clearly impossible, Kirsten.
47:05But we must confuse what's impossible with what's implausible.
47:09Just about everything I dream up for a living relies upon stuff that's highly implausible.
47:14That's what makes it so hard to work out.
47:16No one ever thinks you go to that much trouble to fool your audience.
47:20But if we hack away at it long enough, there is a way, a very elaborate way, this crime could have been carried out.
47:30Only to follow the method, we have to look at the motive.
47:35Yes, have a seat, Mrs. Holiday. It's not a bad-sized lavatory, that, is it?
47:41When Alan Rokesmith's conviction was quashed, it opened up the whole question again.
47:48Who was really responsible for strangling Jennifer Holiday in that alleyway, and why?
47:53Someone wanted her dead, and it's now become obvious who that person was.
48:01It was Jack Holiday himself.
48:06Oh, well, that's just sheer ignorance of the facts.
48:10Jack was on the other side of the world when Jennifer was killed, in a restaurant in West Hollywood.
48:15How could he possibly have anything to do?
48:17But he could be responsible for a murder, Mrs. Holiday, without actually carrying it out.
48:22What?
48:24You're not such a...
48:27He paid someone to kill...
48:30And I think that's exactly why he left the country.
48:33To be as far away as possible while someone else was doing the job for him.
48:37Someone who finally couldn't live with what had happened any longer.
48:40And decided that Jack Holiday should pay for what he'd done.
48:45The End
49:02But now came the problem.
49:24The gun was put in his hand to suggest suicide.
49:27A hand we all know was physically incapable of squeezing the trigger.
49:32Leading us to the simple conclusion that the killer was someone who didn't know about Jack's arthritis.
49:46You were right.
49:49I was wrong.
49:51I believed in Alan Rokesmith.
49:54His sister did.
49:57We all did.
49:58I'm only just beginning to see how he did it.
50:03From behind bars.
50:05Manipulated.
50:08Paid off witnesses.
50:11Paid that prostitute to say she'd been with him.
50:15Literally bought his way out of there.
50:20You haven't anything to connect Jack with that evil man.
50:24He'd kept these, Mrs. Holliday.
50:28I don't think you'll argue that's your husband's handwriting.
50:31Even in capitals.
50:33The Greek E's and tales on the R's are all over that script he showed me in the cabinet upstairs.
50:38At first we thought they were from a secret lover.
50:43If the truth came out it would be the end of everything.
50:46He was telling Rokesmith to keep his mouth shut.
50:50In exchange for which he'd stand by his pledge.
50:56To make sure the money came through as they'd arranged.
50:58This is some sort of malicious hoax.
51:05And it's time I call the police.
51:07No.
51:08Kirsten.
51:10You?
51:13Knew about this?
51:17A couple of years ago.
51:19One of his dark days.
51:20The whole world was against him.
51:22He got well oiled up.
51:24Poured it all out.
51:25Like the plot of one of his films.
51:27Sad little clown.
51:32Everyone thought Jack and Jennifer were the business.
51:36Behind all the lovey-dovey it was a disaster.
51:39She was just a kid still.
51:42Spent his money.
51:44Slept with a cast of thousands.
51:47Any sniff of divorce.
51:49She'd have filleted him like a kibber.
51:54He knew a lot of villains.
51:55It wasn't hard for him to find somebody like Rokesmith.
52:01Every day after that.
52:03He was terrified Rokesmith would talk.
52:05But he never did.
52:08Jack.
52:10Left the world a lot of happy memories.
52:12The thought of all this destroying that.
52:19Didn't seem right.
52:22I suppose the night through the melon was...
52:25Faintly childish.
52:26Hmm?
52:27You're telling me it was Rokesmith.
52:30But how did he get out of this room?
52:32A lavatory and a lightbulb held the key.
52:38This is how I think it happened.
52:42Several days before the murder...
52:44I can't say how long it took him.
52:46Rokesmith was down here.
52:48Systematically dismantling the end wall of what was to have been the toilet.
52:52Brick by brick, till he'd exposed the outer shell of reinforced concrete.
52:59No chance of escaping through that.
53:01But the whole point was, he had no intention of escaping.
53:05If I'm right, Alan Rokesmith's purpose that afternoon when he brought your husband down here...
53:10It wasn't murder, but a double execution.
53:16Looking back, it was all there in his eyes.
53:20Kind of hollow, calm.
53:23All that creepy talk about guilt and innocence.
53:27He'd made peace with his conscience because he knew what he had to do.
53:31He was going and taking holiday with him.
53:35But he had to do it in a way that his mother and sister would never find out the truth.
53:39He set up a fake trip to Wales.
53:42Wrote loads of stuff in his diary days beforehand...
53:45...to make it look as though they'd been there till last Thursday.
53:48Wrecked his own boat...
53:50...so that eventually they'd find the bits and assume he'd drowned.
53:55But in fact, he was here.
53:59So he's taken down the inner wall.
54:01Now he rebuilds it.
54:03This time, deeper inside the room.
54:05Leaving just a very narrow recess between the new wall...
54:08...and the concrete behind.
54:11My guess...
54:12...he swallows a bottle or something.
54:14Pills, paracetamol.
54:16And with his last half hour or so...
54:19...seals himself up.
54:20Stolz, paracetamol.
54:31But he had margins, he could've kept a bit of a buff.
54:33Who's breaking this out of the way?
54:35Well, I could've missed his hand up.
54:37You look at this hole in the floor,
55:00you assume the lavatory would have gone here.
55:03With the pan facing out towards the door.
55:09The problem is it couldn't.
55:11With the neck of the pan hard against this wall,
55:13where's the cistern going to go? There's no room behind it.
55:19And if the plan was for the lavatory to go against this wall,
55:23that's where your cistern's going to go.
55:28Now, you've got a wall in the way.
55:35It won't fit.
55:37The reason being that this wall is further out now than it used to be.
55:43The fact that the brickwork looks a little different, you'd never notice,
55:48because Rokesmith switch bulbs, so the light in here will be a lot dimmer.
56:00You want to do this?
56:02What do you think?
56:03You're next.
56:04Well done.
56:05Look.
56:06I didn't know it's always a time.
56:07I'm just gonna go with this wall.
56:08Let's get inside.
56:09One, one day before the door.
56:10I'm not all kind.
56:11The door has to be open.
56:12I'm not all kind.
56:13You're not all kind.
56:14But I'm just gonna go with it.
56:17And you really have to be open.
56:18Now, let me see if I've got this.
56:41You know what? That's absolute crap, that is, if you actually try it.
56:44It's completely and totally impossible to slip on a banana skin.
56:51Seaweed, no problem. Dog's mess, piece of cake.
56:54You try skidding on a banana peel.
57:01Yes, brilliant. That is utterly baffling.
57:05No, doesn't work.
57:08What do you mean?
57:09If it can't be baffling, there's not enough scope for the imagination.
57:13There's only one possible explanation.
57:14The matches stay in the box and a duplicate drawer comes out.
57:19Like it did that the killer had to be in that room
57:21because there's no way he could ever have gone out.
57:26Maybe if I took a run at it.
57:29Now, how you could have thought it was Rokesmith
57:31and it apparently called my answer machine two days before.
57:35How often does that happen?
57:36Play back an old message that's been on the tape for weeks.
57:39Think it's only just come in.
57:42OK.
57:44Here we go.
57:51Well done.
57:54You've proved your point about the dog's mess.
57:57One more go with the banana peel.
57:58One more go with the banana peel.
57:59One more go with the banana peel.
58:00One more go with the banana peel.
58:01One more go with the banana peel.
58:02One more go with the banana peel.
58:03One more go with the banana peel.
58:04One more go with the banana peel.
58:05One more go with the banana peel.
58:06One more go with the banana peel.
58:07One more go with the banana peel.
58:08One more go with the banana peel.
58:09One more go with the banana peel.
58:10One more go with the banana peel.
58:11One more go with the banana peel.
58:12One more go with the banana peel.
Be the first to comment