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#RealityTVDeep
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01:00All right?
01:01No.
01:02All right.
01:03Let's get you inside.
01:04See you next time.
01:05Come on.
01:10I was having a wee look at my stats last night.
01:12Listeners are up, downloads are increasing, my algorithm is...
01:16I know I shouldn't be obsessed with that stuff, but it's dead exciting.
01:21Like, who knows where this could take me?
01:23Yeah.
01:24It's great, Mikey.
01:25Well done.
01:26I just need plenty of cases to cover.
01:28But the whale's looking a wee bit dry.
01:30You want some crime?
01:31Look no further than moan mother.
01:35Wanted for wage theft.
01:36What are you on about?
01:37Got my first pay today.
01:38How am I supposed to live on that?
01:40You are more than fairly compensated.
01:43We're not exactly raking it in.
01:44Are we in a union?
01:45Maybe we should join a union.
01:47I cannot be here for this conversation.
01:52Seriously though, how did you get by on that?
01:54You just do.
01:55Make a few wee adjustments.
01:57Coupon deals, second hand markets.
01:59Bank robberies.
02:00Like, grab lunch with me later.
02:02I'll show you how to sort your life out.
02:03Alright, Stacey Solomon, you're on.
02:08Oh, thanks, darling, that's great.
02:11Oh, hi. What's all this?
02:13Oh, I thought I'd put in a nice spread today.
02:15You should've come to my shop.
02:16I've got plenty of nice things.
02:18I fancied a trip into town.
02:20So it's a big occasion.
02:21Lenny and I have a quiet day to ourselves for a change.
02:24Lord and Lady of Leisure, is it?
02:27Trying to make the most of you's retirement.
02:29It's a big adjustment.
02:31Tell me about it.
02:32I keep calling it amber caps.
02:34So how's the bubba?
02:36Oh, he's a wee lamb.
02:37I'll tell you what though.
02:38I'd forgotten how exhausting it is looking after a newborn.
02:41Gran and granda running about daft.
02:43Oh, I know about that one.
02:45Oh, we're happy to help, don't get me wrong.
02:47But today is about peace and quiet.
02:50Well, you go and enjoy yourself, darling.
02:52Thank you. See you soon.
02:55Bye.
02:57Oh!
02:58You shouldn't be moving too much.
03:01Well, if you'd hurry up and find him.
03:03I can't see anything.
03:04There's a first aid box underneath the sink.
03:08Oh!
03:10You know, if it's just a muscle pull...
03:12It's an old boxing injury playing up.
03:15Facet joint.
03:16I've got some exercises that might help you.
03:18Painkillers!
03:19Please!
03:22Right.
03:23Eh, the day would be good.
03:35Good!
03:36You!
03:37You're in luck.
03:38Last two left.
03:39Aye.
03:40I feel dead lucky today.
03:41Thanks.
03:42Don't mention it.
03:44So, how's it all gone under my ma's roof?
03:46Oh, good, aye, aye.
03:47I'm really pleased you took me in.
03:48Aye.
03:49Aye.
03:50Must be weird.
03:51You're history and all that.
03:52Only when people bring it up.
03:53Right.
03:54Sorry.
03:55I'm really pleased you took me in.
03:56Aye.
03:57I'm really pleased you took me in.
03:58Aye.
03:59Aye.
04:00Must be weird.
04:01Your history and all that.
04:02Only when people bring it up.
04:03Right.
04:04Sorry.
04:05Anywho.
04:06This is all your idea.
04:07You're no regretting it.
04:08I mean, I love my ma, but she can be a nightmare to live with.
04:09No.
04:10No.
04:11No.
04:12No.
04:13No.
04:14No.
04:15No.
04:16No.
04:17No.
04:18No.
04:19No.
04:20No.
04:21No.
04:22No.
04:23No.
04:24No.
04:25No.
04:26No.
04:27No.
04:28No.
04:29No.
04:30No.
04:31No.
04:32No.
04:33She's been brilliant.
04:34Oh, come on.
04:35There must be stuff that drives you do Larry, you can tell me.
04:37Here.
04:38Does she still do that thing where she just so happens to be dusting something nearby whenever
04:43you're on the phone?
04:44Ah, she does do that, doesn't she?
04:46See?
04:47That wasn't so hard, was it?
04:48What else?
04:49When she cannae make a cup of tea, save herself.
04:51The tea bag's in there for about ten seconds.
04:53Let it stew, woman!
04:54Oh, another thing she does drive me bananas.
04:57You can be mid-conversation, talking about something.
04:59And the next thing you turn around and she's vanished out of the room, out of thin air.
05:03I mean, who does that?
05:06Unbelievable.
05:08Callum?
05:09All right.
05:12How was it?
05:15Ah, she's in half now.
05:28Thanks for the help.
05:31That's all right.
05:32I'd like to do my bit, help the inn firm.
05:35Is there anything else you need from me before I do the actual job, you know, you hired me to do?
05:40Less cheek for a start.
05:42And we need some mere co-codamol.
05:44No, we don't.
05:45Aye, we do.
05:46I just scrubbed the last two.
05:47I just restocked the first aid box.
05:49When?
05:51Yesterday, the day before.
05:54So where'd they all go?
05:57Eh, do you know what?
06:00I've just remembered, I took some home to Roisin yesterday.
06:04I'll replace them a day.
06:07You, er, you sure you didn't injure anything else this morning?
06:11Get away, you!
06:12Get away.
06:13Get away.
06:14Get away.
06:15Get away.
06:16Get away.
06:17Get away.
06:18Get away.
06:19Get away.
06:20Get away.
06:21Get away.
06:22Get away.
06:23Get away.
06:24Get away.
06:25Get away.
06:27Get away.
06:28Get away.
06:29Get away.
06:30Get away.
06:31Get away.
06:32Get away.
06:33Get away.
06:34Get away.
06:35Get away.
06:36Get away.
06:37Get away.
06:38Yeah, six- Vouzzen.
06:40Very funny.
06:41Is Amber with you?
06:42Well, where is she?
06:43It is.
06:44I've come up.
06:45It seemed urgent.
06:46Well, what was it?
06:48Tom, you asked.
06:49It was urgent, but you didn't ask?
06:50Well my interrog Grid's behind me that, isn't they?
06:53So we've been saddled at the last minute once again?
06:55You be no bother.
06:56How will you be mine?
06:57Lenny, you're meant to be relaxing. Your strength levels are just...
07:01Alan, I think I can handle a newborn.
07:04Well, how did Amber seem?
07:06Fine.
07:08I was hoping we could have a bit of time to ourselves.
07:13We still can. I mean, this is great.
07:16And for a third wheel, it could be worse, eh?
07:19Oh, you're right.
07:21Oh, I've got him.
07:23Two minutes.
07:27Maybe leave that for another time, eh?
07:38Dog in school?
07:40I thought you were doing well.
07:42I am. I was.
07:44Why? What's happened?
07:46What about me?
07:48Gonna tell me who you were hiding from?
07:52It's complicated.
07:54Don't change the subject, alright?
07:57Look, I don't know. I just... I feel behind, alright?
08:02Oh, don't give me the whole disappointed adult look.
08:05I'm disappointed?
08:06Used to dog school all the time.
08:07Says who?
08:08Gran, Mum, Angus.
08:10Angus didn't even know me then. What's he on about?
08:13I mean, I wasn't exactly head boy.
08:17But see, when I look back...
08:19You regret it. You wish you worked harder.
08:21Blah, blah, blah, blah.
08:24You've got the answer to everything today, don't you?
08:27Answer me this then, Wido.
08:29What you gotta do with yourself after school?
08:31Oh, what happened to you?
08:43Whoever said exercise was good for you, Maggie, was a bare-faced liar.
08:48Is, er, Drew about?
08:51I don't think he offers refunds.
08:53No, it's nothing like that.
08:55Aye, he's upstairs.
08:56Do you want me to pass on a message?
08:58How did he seem?
09:00Well, he wasn't exactly a chatty Cathy, but that's not unusual.
09:04Is he on his own, or...?
09:07What's going on?
09:09Tommy.
09:10What about that uni course?
09:15With the...
09:16Games development.
09:18Aye, that's the one.
09:19It's too late.
09:20I thought you had the offer.
09:22It's a conditional, and I need my maths.
09:25The exams are right round the corner, and I've missed too much.
09:27Right, look.
09:28We'll get you back on track.
09:30How?
09:31We'll talk to the school, your ma.
09:34She doesn't even care.
09:35Of course she cares, she's your ma.
09:39She's definitely got to care when she hears about this.
09:42Exactly.
09:43Only time she even notices them there is when she's raging about something.
09:49Is she a bit preoccupied?
09:52With the Waynes.
09:55And Chris.
09:59Mate, I get it.
10:02You do?
10:04Aye.
10:05Your heat's bound to be spinning.
10:08But...
10:09She wants what's best for you.
10:11We all do.
10:13Trust me.
10:14The best thing you can do is come clean.
10:17Let her help you.
10:20Now, I'm not going to make you tell her, alright?
10:22But she's going to find out eventually.
10:24And it's going to be better coming for you.
10:30Alright.
10:31How do you look?
10:32Think I've lost my magic touch.
10:33What was that song you used to do to get Amber to settle?
10:34No, no.
10:35That was a dance.
10:36It was you that had done that.
10:37At this point, I'd try anything.
10:38If I could remember that is.
10:39Maybe she just needs a feed.
10:40Where?
10:41Where?
10:42She hasn't packed any formula.
10:43I'm sure it just slipped her mind.
10:44Look, if she's going to drop Teddy on people,
10:46the least she can do to make sure they have everything they need.
10:47Why don't you just let them tire yourself out?
10:48No, I can't bear to listen to him like that.
10:49The poor wee thing.
10:50Straight to voicemail.
10:51Straight to voicemail.
10:52Yes, that's right.
10:53How do you look like a baby?
10:56How do you look the same nieces and ROBERT is here?
10:57How do you think it's a good lady?
10:58Yeah.
10:59I wish it were.
11:00I wish it beautiful.
11:01I wish I had to leave you.
11:03I wish I could just leave you.
11:04What was it?
11:05I wish the baby that was going to leave you,
11:06What was it?
11:07You didn't even know the wind coming out,
11:08you know what?
11:09What's the problems you've got to do?
11:10You have to pay your baby?
11:11You know what I mean to you.
11:12Hey, Hey…
11:13Well, my mother…
11:14You have to pay your baby.
11:15I wish I had to pay you.
11:16It's all OK.
11:17You have to pay your baby.
11:19Well...
11:20I want to put him in my stock, get some four nil.
11:21No, I'll go.
11:23Hey!
11:25He's still young.
11:40Drew?
11:42All right, Gran?
11:45Everything okay?
11:47Yeah.
11:48Yeah, good.
11:49Why'd you ask?
11:51Just that you seem a wee bit out of sorts.
11:54No, no.
11:55I'm just a bit tired, that's all.
11:58Have you taken something?
12:01What?
12:02It's a simple question.
12:04It's a simple answer.
12:05No.
12:06Look, if you've slipped up...
12:09This is ridiculous!
12:10Drew...
12:11Am I not allowed to have a bad day?
12:13Of course you are.
12:14I hate this.
12:15It's like living under a microscope, constantly being watched.
12:19Like you're all just waiting for me to slip up.
12:21That's not true at all.
12:22You're literally standing there accusing me.
12:24I'm not accusing you of anything, I'm asking you a question.
12:27How would you like it if I started watching you like a hawk?
12:30Asking questions?
12:31I know exactly how you feel.
12:33Because I've lived it.
12:35With your mum and your Auntie Ellie.
12:38With the sideways glances.
12:40Checking my glass.
12:42My morning coffee.
12:43This won't last forever, Drew.
12:47You can earn the trust back, but only if you're honest.
12:54Honest.
12:56Right?
12:57I'm being 100% honest.
13:00Okay?
13:01I've not taken anything.
13:02I feel good.
13:03I feel healthy.
13:05I've got everything under control.
13:07Well, that all sounds great except for one thing.
13:11I spoke to Tommy.
13:13Seems his painkillers went wandering after you'd been at Molly's corner with him.
13:18Oh, Drew.
13:37What's this?
13:38She's doing nobody in the lap of luxury by now.
13:40Unexpected visitor.
13:41Teddy.
13:42You're choking?
13:43Well, what about all your plans?
13:45Oh, nice.
13:46Along with the champagne.
13:47Oh, that's a pure sin.
13:49He's really restless.
13:50Do you have any formula?
13:51Aye, course.
13:52Amber forgot to pack any.
13:54I guess she was preoccupied with her urgent matter.
13:57Urgent matter?
13:58Doesn't look very urgent to me.
14:05She left the office to get her hair done.
14:07She came back with a full-faced Botox.
14:11Unbelievable.
14:13That's just the word I was thinking too.
14:15Mum?
14:16Proud of yourselves, are you?
14:18Laughing away at the pub.
14:19While we're left playing babysitter again.
14:22This is what you call urgent, is it?
14:24Well, yeah.
14:25What does it look like?
14:26It looks like two pals on a jolly.
14:28A jolly?
14:29We're talking about the oyster?
14:30Alice's campaign?
14:31I was just boarding her with socials and surveys.
14:34I'm sorry.
14:35I don't recall asking for your input.
14:37Mum!
14:39Enjoy the rest of your meeting.
14:43I'm really sorry about her.
14:44I don't know what is up with her today.
14:46Mmm.
14:47This is worse than I thought.
14:48Stop being dramatic.
14:49Four streaming services on here.
14:50Well, it's the golden age of telly.
14:51Everybody knows that.
14:52Well, how many have you logged onto in the past week?
14:53Four.
14:54Three.
14:55Two.
14:56One.
14:57Zero.
14:58And how many guys have you messaged on the apps you pay for?
14:59Ugh.
15:00Why did I show you my phone?
15:01Hypocrite?
15:02This is different.
15:03Come on.
15:04It's a big gay world out there.
15:05Do you not think it's about time to get back to that?
15:06I'm just not feeling the fantasy at the moment.
15:21My self esteem's ran out of steam.
15:24Anyway, enough about me.
15:25Anyway, enough about me. What else are you wasting your money on?
15:28You are enjoying this far too much.
15:31What is this massive one?
15:35The gym.
15:36The gym? What, are they doing the exercises for you?
15:38Well, do you have a better idea?
15:40I do, actually. There's plenty of cheaper ways of staying in shape.
15:43Some of them are right here in Shield Inch.
15:44Oh, my God. Do not say Drew's Running Club.
15:46Drew's Running Club? How not? It's cheap, it's good for you.
15:49You meet new people.
15:50I know enough people.
15:51And maybe I was a teensy bit nasty on this morning.
15:54Right, fine. Suit yourself. Stay skinned and miserable.
15:57No, no.
15:59I'll give it a go. If you do too.
16:02No chance.
16:03Why not? It's cheap, it's good for you. You'll meet new people.
16:07What have you got to lose?
16:08Er, my dignity.
16:10I've seen your apps, remember?
16:12Right, fine. I'll give it a go.
16:14One session, Uno, and that's your lot.
16:20I took two out of the packet. I handed them to him.
16:24Told them they were the last ones and pocketed the rest.
16:27Oh, good.
16:28Is it?
16:29I mean, I stole from my friend.
16:32And he's been so supportive since rehab. I mean, everyone has.
16:35The club.
16:37I've let everyone down.
16:39How weak am I?
16:41Right, okay. We're not doing that. Take a breath.
16:50The smallest of things can knock us off balance.
16:53I remember once years ago.
16:56I'd just finished a shift and I'd booked a taxi to take me across town.
17:01And then this chancer just jumped in it before I did.
17:04I thought, how unfair.
17:06I'd been on my feet all day.
17:09I thought the world was against me.
17:11And if things were that terrible, then why not just take a drink?
17:15Did you?
17:17No.
17:18Not that time.
17:20Other times was a different story.
17:24But that's the decision you have to make each time.
17:28So, no, you're not weak, Drew.
17:31Because you get up every morning and you fight.
17:34I was so close.
17:37They'd been burning a hole in my pocket all day.
17:40I mean, if you hadn't come up, who's to say?
17:43It would have been so easy for me to slip.
17:45But you didn't.
17:46And here you are, having a conversation with me.
17:49You have got to stop damning yourself for what could have happened.
17:54And give yourself some grace for what you did.
18:04Callum, how are you knowing school?
18:09I thought we could have a wee word.
18:11What are you playing at?
18:12Look...
18:13I am here working my fingers to the bone and your dog in school.
18:16No, I wasn't even...
18:17Wait, is it bullying?
18:18Wait, are you being bullied?
18:20What? No.
18:21Callum, don't lie to me.
18:22I'm not.
18:23Look, he's a bit behind.
18:25Behind?
18:26Aye, but we've been talking, right?
18:28Oh, yous have, have you?
18:29And how long have you known about this?
18:30What?
18:31Just today.
18:32Can you let us speak?
18:33Unbelievable, man.
18:34Eh, rap at you.
18:35I am not the one in trouble here.
18:36I'm not.
18:37No!
18:38I don't want to hear it.
18:39I told you.
18:40Can you believe him?
18:41It's you I cannae believe.
18:46I never felt good enough.
18:51Never felt like I could do anything right.
18:54It was like everyone else had this magical book, you know, how to live in the world.
18:59But I didn't have that.
19:02I felt stupid and lost.
19:05And the only way I could feel anything at all was to hurt myself.
19:15But football, that was different.
19:19I was good.
19:20And suddenly I'd found something to shut up that negative voice.
19:24On the pitch, everything was quiet.
19:27I had a job to do.
19:29I was good at it and it was peaceful.
19:32It was really a big thing in AE, inner peace.
19:37I rode that all the way to the States.
19:39And it was all going so well, you know.
19:42I went from this lost little kid with no dreams to becoming someone you could all be so proud of.
19:49And then one day, gone.
19:53And I went back to being that lost wee boy again.
19:56We've always been proud of you, Drew.
19:58I thought I was making progress but maybe this running club is the same as football.
20:03Maybe it's still all to do with how other folks see me.
20:07It's just how my brain works.
20:09You'll find something to latch onto.
20:11I understand better than most.
20:13But this isn't the way to do it.
20:16Well, I know.
20:19You can get back there.
20:21Back to that inner peace.
20:23And you can build self-worth, Drew.
20:26I know you can.
20:27But you have to give yourself credit for being strong.
20:32And for resisting temptation.
20:35I'll try.
20:37Promise?
20:38Promise.
20:41That's all we can ask.
20:44Are you going to tell Mum about it today?
20:48It depends on what you're going to do with those.
20:53Get them out of my sight.
20:56You owe someone an apology.
21:00You really think that's a good idea?
21:02Trust me with these.
21:03Never mind me.
21:05What do you think?
21:07Let's try and play nice, eh?
21:14She has to be told.
21:16Well, I think you already told her over there.
21:17So let's keep the temperature cool.
21:19All right?
21:20Okay.
21:21I'll play nice.
21:26All right.
21:27Hey, Dana.
21:28How was he?
21:30Do it a wee while to sell.
21:31Because there was no formula?
21:32But eh, we got it there.
21:33You know?
21:34It's been out for the count ever since.
21:35Well, I'll remember it next time.
21:37Next time?
21:38Oh, yeah.
21:39She's already planning the next time.
21:41Did we not get a say in this?
21:42Did you not hear anything I said to you?
21:44I'm sorry.
21:45Remind me.
21:46Was that before or after you bit Alice's head off?
21:48Well, you can't blame me for my reaction.
21:50We run ragged here while you're living it up at the pub.
21:53It was a meeting.
21:54In a ship?
21:55Oh, come on, Dad.
21:56How many times have you had a meeting over a drink?
21:59Going off like that in front of Alice and the whole street?
22:03It was mortifying.
22:04No, Amber, what is mortifying is you dumping Teddy on us like that.
22:07We have lives to lead to.
22:09Well, I'm sorry we're such a burden.
22:11Oh, don't you dare.
22:12Nobody is saying that, okay?
22:14We love having them.
22:15You know that.
22:16But I had a whole day planned for us.
22:18Look, I'm sorry about your plans or whatever,
22:20but I think you're overreacting.
22:22Hey, your mother put a lot of thought into it, did they?
22:25And she was looking forward to it and so was I.
22:27We're retired.
22:29We should be able to spend more quality time together.
22:32Relaxing.
22:33But I don't know about you, I certainly don't feel relaxed.
22:36Fine.
22:37Well, maybe it's best I find someone else to look after Teddy.
22:40Oh, and now who's overreacting?
22:42Just check this next time, eh?
22:43Gives a wee bit of notice.
22:44That way we can make something work.
22:46Look, we are always here to support you, both of you.
22:49But I will not have you taking advantage of our kindness.
23:04You gave us a fright today.
23:06Eh, won't happen again.
23:08Ever.
23:09I promise.
23:10Well, if it does.
23:11If you feel yourself tempted, you need to talk to us.
23:15There's no more secrets, alright?
23:17Yeah, I will.
23:19So, apology accepted?
23:21Well, granted you'll accept what I mean.
23:23I should never have put you in harm's way like that.
23:26What?
23:27No, you were in agony.
23:28It was a mistake.
23:29And like you said, it won't happen again.
23:33I'm not your responsibility.
23:36We all care about you, mate.
23:38We're in this fight with you.
23:41Who's it back?
23:43I'll be back running with you in no time.
23:46I don't know.
23:47Not sure I'm cut out for this club stuff.
23:50Ah.
23:51Just the man.
23:53What's going on?
23:54Erm, I was thinking.
23:57Eh, we were thinking.
23:58That maybe there's worse things than honking at Lycra.
24:03Right.
24:04Just like a trial.
24:06Sure.
24:07No promises.
24:08I can live with that.
24:09So, can we be in your super-duper club?
24:12Can you let a couple of new recruits in, can you?
24:15Great.
24:16I'll see you in the morning then, bright and early.
24:19You didn't say anything a bit early.
24:22Hmm.
24:25It was already a lot of upheaval.
24:27You and the girls rocking up then.
24:28Just as he's getting used to that, here comes Chris.
24:31Aye, but...
24:32Less of this, many of this.
24:36Sorry.
24:37I know.
24:38Sorry.
24:40I guess he's been feeling left out.
24:44Like he's not important.
24:46He's been feeling worse and worse and then.
24:48That's affected school and...
24:50Here we are.
24:51You got all of that out of him?
24:53Aye.
24:54Because I let him talk.
24:57I had no idea he was feeling like that.
24:59We can fix this, but...
25:01If he puts a shift in, maybe he gets a tutor.
25:03A tutor?
25:04What, a man made of money?
25:06Alright.
25:07Maybe his teachers can help.
25:08His teachers?
25:09Aye.
25:10Fat lot of good they'd been.
25:11Have they not been in touch?
25:12No.
25:13Look, alright.
25:14Maybe I've not kept mine, Callum.
25:16Like I should have.
25:17But if I'd have known something was up...
25:19Nobody's blaming you, Kel.
25:21We all just want to get him back on track.
25:23And I know you've been spinning a bunch of different plates.
25:25But right now, your priority has to be Callum.
25:30Aye.
25:31Your ears burning.
25:32Right.
25:33I'll leave yous to that.
25:34Catch you, mate.
25:35Listen.
25:36Aye.
25:37I'm so sorry, darling.
25:40I shouldn't have lashed out like that before.
25:55I should have let you speak.
25:57I had no idea you were feeling left out.
26:00I just thought you were going through a moody teenage thing.
26:02It's fine.
26:03Just leave it.
26:04No, I will not.
26:05You're part of this family, Callum.
26:07And these exams.
26:08And handle it.
26:09Yourself.
26:10Aye.
26:11And how's that working out for you?
26:13Like, I love how independent you are.
26:16I do.
26:17But we all need a wee bit of help sometimes.
26:20And maybe my focus has been in other places.
26:25Other people.
26:26But I'm going to do better.
26:27We both are.
26:28We're going to fix this.
26:30But what happens if it's too late?
26:33What if I've ruined it?
26:35Well then we'll deal with that.
26:37And whatever comes after.
26:39But together.
26:40Like a family.
26:42Sure.
26:43Callum.
26:44Callum.
26:45I mean it.
26:47I believe it when I see it.
26:59Today's the day.
27:01No, the police application.
27:02I should hear any time now.
27:04That came for you.
27:05What's up?
27:06This is not good.
27:07Understatement of the century.
27:08I'll talk to him.
27:09When?
27:10You can't just sit back and wait for the perfect opportunity.
27:11Come on, love.
27:12What is he?
27:13Are you seeing somebody else?
27:14It's not how you think.
27:15Then tell me, Eddie.
27:16What is it?
27:17What is it?
27:18I can wait for the perfect opportunity.
27:19Come on, love.
27:20What is it?
27:21Are you seeing somebody else?
27:22It's not how you think.
27:23Then tell me, Eddie.
27:24What is it?
27:47You did it.
27:48Any more questions?
27:49Erie
27:49He?
27:50No?
27:51No?
27:56No?
28:11It's not how you are.
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