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00:00From 13 Rockefeller Plaza in New York, it's Late Night with Seth Meyers.
00:12Tonight, Cynthia Erivo.
00:15Comedian, Brooks Whelan.
00:18An all-new, closer look.
00:25And now, Seth Meyers.
00:27Good evening, everybody.
00:29It's Seth Meyers.
00:30This is Late Night with you.
00:31Hope you're doing well.
00:32And now, if you don't mind, we're going to get to the news.
00:34President Trump called for Democratic lawmakers to face trial for seditious behavior today
00:40and added it's, quote, punishable by death.
00:42Well, that's one way to distract from the Epstein files.
00:46Wouldn't you rather talk about how I want to kill all of you?
00:51That's right.
00:52President Trump shared a post on Truth Social calling for hanging Democratic lawmakers.
00:56But good news.
00:57Chuck Schumer has already negotiated him down to lethal injection.
01:03President Trump signed a bill into law last night that orders the Justice Department
01:07to release the Epstein files.
01:08And the legislation includes several loopholes.
01:11For example, they could release them into the sea.
01:16That's right.
01:16President Trump signed a bill into law that orders the Justice Department
01:20to release the Epstein files and tried to claim credit for the legislation.
01:22And he's right.
01:24None of this would have happened without him.
01:28Former Vice President Dick Cheney's funeral was held today in Washington, D.C.
01:32And President Trump and Vice President J.D. Vance were reportedly not invited.
01:36Man, you know you're bad when people are afraid you will bring down the vibe at a funeral.
01:42Just like, don't you think, like, if they're here, it'll just be a mummer?
01:49While speaking yesterday of the U.S.-Saudi Investment Forum,
01:52President Trump suggested that Treasury Secretary Scott Besant
01:55has been begging him not to fire Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell
01:59and added that Besant is the, quote,
02:01voice of reason, and only in Trump's world is that considered an insult.
02:07While speaking yesterday at the same event,
02:09President Trump said that he always thought that the pandemic was a, quote,
02:12ancient phenomenon that could never happen in modern times.
02:15In fairness, we thought the same thing about having an insane pharaoh.
02:22In a post today on Truth Social, President Trump said, quote,
02:25according to most, one of the best opening 10 months for a president
02:28in USA history, thank you.
02:31Well, that's not true.
02:32But also, who says USA history?
02:37It's U.S. history.
02:38When you say U.S. history, you sound like bulky from Perfect Strangers.
02:43I am studying USA history.
02:46But yeah, aside from that, amazing first 10 months.
02:50In a new interview, Senator Bernie Sanders said that he is concerned
02:53about the future of artificial intelligence.
02:55Oh, don't worry, dude.
02:56Your computer doesn't have it.
03:00The discount retailers TJ Maxx, Marshalls, and Home Goods
03:03say that the holiday shopping season is off to a, quote,
03:06strong start.
03:07This, according to some recent pillows.
03:11A prisoner in Australia recently filed a lawsuit
03:14that claims the state's ban on Vegemite for inmates
03:17violates his human rights.
03:19Well, have you tried talking to the inventor of Vegemite?
03:23I assume he's in prison with you.
03:27And finally, NBC announced a new deal yesterday
03:30with Major League Baseball,
03:31because if you've got Chicago in your name,
03:33you're getting a show.
03:35And that was a monologue, everybody.
03:38We are off and running.
03:41We got a fantastic show of you tonight.
03:43She's an incredible actress, singer.
03:45You know her from work on Broadway and The Color Purple,
03:47and films such as Harriet, Widows, and Wicked.
03:51Her new book, Simply More, is out now,
03:52and she's starring in Wicked for Good,
03:54which is in theaters and IMAX everywhere this Friday.
03:56Cynthia Erivo is back on the show, everybody.
04:00So excited.
04:02And he is one of my favorite, favorite comedians
04:06and dear friend.
04:07You know him from Saturday Night Live,
04:08and I think you should leave.
04:10Check him out this Sunday, November 23rd,
04:12at the Beacon Theater here in New York
04:14as part of his nationwide comedy tour.
04:16He's also a member of Spider League,
04:18and I'm pretty sure he might be talking
04:20about that tonight, too.
04:21Our friend Brooks Whelan will be joining us.
04:26Before we get to all that,
04:28you know, we often rib the president
04:31for being addled and deranged
04:33and possibly having dementia,
04:34but I have to give him credit where credit is due.
04:37Last night, he wrote a very concise
04:39and thoughtful post on social media
04:41about the Epstein files that put to rest
04:42many of the questions
04:43that have been haunting his administration,
04:45made it clear that he is laser-focused
04:47on getting to the truth,
04:49and I'm just with you.
04:50Look at how long this is!
04:54Is there no character limit on truth social?
04:57I haven't seen something that long and incoherent
05:00since my mom accidentally had voice to text on
05:03while she had a conversation with our neighbor, Linda.
05:08For more on this, it's time for a closer look.
05:11After months of calling the Epstein files
05:16a hoax made up by Democrats,
05:18the president would now like you to know
05:19that actually the whole release the Epstein files thing,
05:21that was his idea.
05:23As everyone knows,
05:24I asked Speaker of the House Mike Johnson
05:26and Senate Majority Leader John Thune
05:28to pass this bill in the House
05:30and Senate, respectively.
05:32No, you didn't.
05:34Don't try that move where you say,
05:36as everyone knows,
05:37in hopes that we're all going to say everyone,
05:38but I didn't know.
05:39Am I out of the loop?
05:42Everyone knows the opposite was true
05:43because we saw it with our own eyes.
05:44You can try to get away with saying,
05:46as everyone knows, I have a huge penis,
05:48but don't do it
05:49while you're changing at the gym
05:52because people are going to check.
05:56I think gim is also a factor.
05:59People, I think the teens are calling it gimms.
06:01You don't know, Sal, because you're too old,
06:04but it's a lot of old people like Sal call it gim,
06:07and teens and me...
06:12Now that I'm not going to begin with teens!
06:20I also like when Trump starts using big words
06:22like respectively.
06:23That's how you know he's spinning out.
06:25If things get any worse,
06:26his next post is going to say,
06:27Heretofore, I have toiled many fortnights
06:29in quiet obscurity
06:31to secure the release
06:32of these most prescient documents
06:33and make known henceforth
06:35that I was not friends with
06:36and thus never visited Jeff
06:38and the island, respectively.
06:40Let's not forget the same guy
06:42who is now claiming he told the House
06:44and the Senate to pass a bill
06:45to release the Epstein files
06:46also claimed not long ago
06:48that those same files were fake.
06:50These files were made up by Comey.
06:53They were made up by Obama.
06:54Why are we giving publicity to files
06:56written by Obama, Crooked Hillary,
06:58Comey, Brennan, and the losers
07:00and criminals of the Biden administration?
07:02He really should just pick one of them
07:04as having written the fake Epstein files
07:07because I find it hard to believe
07:08that whole group could work together.
07:10Now, Joe and I will start working
07:12on the fake files.
07:13Comey, Hillary,
07:15why don't you do the fake emails?
07:16I'd prefer not to work on emails
07:18with Jim Comey.
07:20Now, Hillary, I did what I thought was right
07:23with your email server.
07:24F*** you!
07:26I got an idea.
07:28Instead of emails, I'm going to fake
07:31a birthday card from Trump to Epstein.
07:33It's going to be a drawing
07:35and a naked lady.
07:35I'm going to make the signature
07:36look like pubic hair.
07:38Uh...
07:40What the f***, Joe?
07:45I do think it's worth pointing out
07:47that none of those people
07:49were in office when Epstein was arrested
07:51and his files were seized.
07:53You know who was in office?
07:55You were.
07:55You want us to believe that Hillary,
07:57Obama, and Biden snuck into the DOJ
07:59while everyone was asleep
08:00and put your name in a bunch of documents.
08:02For one thing, Biden's not that slick.
08:04If the files were up one flight of stairs,
08:06toast.
08:07He would be toast.
08:08He's not exactly Tom Cruise
08:10and Mission Impossible.
08:11Trump insists his frustration
08:15is not about the Epstein files, per se.
08:17It's about distracting
08:18from all the great work he is doing.
08:21We have nothing to do with Epstein.
08:23The Democrats do.
08:24All of his friends were Democrats.
08:26All I want is I want for people
08:28to recognize a great job
08:30that I've done on pricing,
08:32on affordability,
08:33because we brought prices way down,
08:35but they're going way lower,
08:36on energy,
08:39on ending eight wars
08:40and another one coming pretty soon,
08:42I believe.
08:43We've done a great job,
08:45and I hate to see that
08:46deflect from the great job we've done.
08:50If there's nothing bad
08:51in the Epstein files for you,
08:53then why would it deflect
08:54from the great job you've done?
08:56That just sounds even more suspicious.
08:57That's like if your spouse
08:58asks to look at your phone
09:00and you respond by saying,
09:01I don't want my DMs on Instagram
09:02to distract from how great our marriage is.
09:04Also, I have to go back to this.
09:07On ending eight wars
09:08and another one coming
09:10pretty soon, I believe.
09:11Ooh, spoiler alert.
09:12Now, he could...
09:13He could be referring
09:15to Russia and Ukraine,
09:16or he could be referring
09:17to another one of his imaginary wars,
09:19like the time he said
09:20he stopped a war
09:21between Albania and Azerbaijan,
09:22which, as you can see from this map,
09:24are not even remotely close to each other.
09:28You know, they used to be
09:28right next to each other,
09:29but the fighting was so bad
09:31they eventually grew apart.
09:33I wonder what it'll be this time.
09:34Is it the brutal territorial conflict
09:36between Thailand and Antarctica?
09:38Maybe he's solved the simmering feud
09:39between Uruguay and Sri Lanka?
09:41Or maybe he's finally
09:42brokered a truce
09:43in the vicious, decades-long war
09:45between Madagascar and Zootopia.
09:48I remember the king came up to me,
09:51big lemur, strong lemur,
09:52tears pouring from his giant cartoon eyes
09:56down onto his long-ringed tail,
09:58and I said,
09:59what do you want to do
09:59with the border between your two countries?
10:01And he said to me,
10:01I'll never forget, he said,
10:02Mr. President, sir,
10:04I like to move and move in.
10:07And I said it's so true.
10:09That's the exact same thing I said
10:10when I was dancing
10:11with my very good friend,
10:12Jeffrey Epstein.
10:15Trump wants us to talk about
10:17all the great work he's done on prices.
10:19Now, if you've been
10:20to the grocery store at all
10:21in the past few months,
10:22you might not think it is so great.
10:24The issue of affordability,
10:26the issue of how people feel
10:27about the economy popping up
10:28in our latest polls,
10:29personal financial situation now,
10:32excellent, good, 40%,
10:34only fair or poor, 60%.
10:35Economic conditions for the nation
10:38and you personally,
10:40again, 25% positive,
10:4376% negative for the nation.
10:45Coffee up 15%,
10:47uncooked ground beef up 14%,
10:50bananas up 8%,
10:51fresh cakes and cupcakes up 6%,
10:54lettuce up almost 6%,
10:56lunch meats, salad, dressings,
10:58tomatoes all up,
10:59you know, well more than that
11:002.5%.
11:01Trump may not care
11:02that lettuce is up,
11:03he may not care
11:03that tomatoes are up,
11:04he may not even care
11:05that bananas are up,
11:05but steaks, cakes, and lunch meats?
11:08That sounds like the title
11:09of a show he would have
11:10on the Food Network.
11:13So your eyes and your wallet
11:14might tell you the prices
11:15are going up,
11:16but guess what?
11:16The president has a message for you.
11:18Your eyes and your wallet
11:19are wrong.
11:20Inflation is almost non-existent.
11:22We have almost no inflation.
11:24Prices are way down.
11:25We have virtually no inflation.
11:27Prices are coming down
11:28very substantially
11:29on groceries and things.
11:31Prices are coming down.
11:32Prices are coming down
11:33and all of that stuff.
11:35We have it almost
11:36at the sweet spot
11:36and prices are coming down.
11:39Prices are coming down.
11:40Prices are coming down.
11:41Prices are coming way down.
11:43Prices are coming down
11:44and we've already brought them down.
11:45Food prices are way down.
11:47It's all coming down.
11:48You never want to hear a president say the words
11:50that's all coming down.
11:51He sounds like he's playing Jenga.
11:55This is the greatest test yet of Trump's nearly mystical ability
11:58to lie his way out of any problem.
11:59He can lie about corruption or climate change
12:01or healthcare or fake wars that he fakes all,
12:03but he can't lie about numbers.
12:04People see with their own eyes every day at the grocery store.
12:07Trump is going to have to personally go around
12:09to every Kroger in the country and use his Sharpie
12:11to cross out the price of bananas and write,
12:13actually, they're free if you skip the checkout line.
12:15Just walk out the door right now, quick run.
12:18But if you're out there grocery shopping
12:20and you're upset at how expensive things are,
12:22just know that you're actually being very mean to Mr. Trump.
12:25His approval rating now on the economy,
12:28according to this is Reuters, is 34%.
12:31His disapproval is 58%.
12:33I'm not going to tell the American people how to feel,
12:37but it has only been nine months.
12:38It's kind of unfair when someone has been there nine months
12:42to put it all on them.
12:43Yeah, it's unfair. It's only been nine months.
12:45Actually, 10 months, but who's counting?
12:46Certainly not me. Okay, fine. I'm counting.
12:48You want it in days? 304.
12:49But the point is, that's not enough time to lower prices.
12:53The president has been busy with more important stuff,
12:55like getting a crown from South Korea,
12:56or a jet from Qatar, or wandering around
12:59on the roof of the White House to lay out his plans
13:01for a new ballroom like some sort of reverse Santa Claus.
13:04Are you here to bring us presents?
13:06No, I'm here to take your presents
13:07and trade them for a new golden toilet.
13:10But you heard Fox News.
13:11Nine months is not enough time to lower prices,
13:13and in fairness to Trump, he never said
13:15he could do it in nine months.
13:17He was actually very specific about how much time he would need.
13:20When I win, I will immediately bring prices down
13:23starting on day one.
13:24Yeah, that's right. He said he would lower prices on day one,
13:26but he never said day one of what?
13:29I will lower prices on day one of the Winter Olympics.
13:34Trump is learning the same hard truth that Joe Biden
13:36and the Democrats learned last year.
13:37You can't Jedi mind trick people into thinking the economy is better
13:41than what they feel in their lives every day.
13:43Trump may not be delivering on prices,
13:45but his approval ratings are definitely...
13:47Coming down.
13:48...this has been A Closer Look.
13:53We'll be right back with Cindy Erivo!
13:56Our first guest tonight is an Academy Award
14:12nominated in Grammy, Emmy, and Tony Award-winning actress
14:14and singer.
14:15You know her from her work on Broadway in The Color Purple
14:18and films such as Harriet, Widows, and Wicked.
14:21Her new book, Simply More, was published this week,
14:24and she stars in the highly anticipated Wicked for Good,
14:26which will be in theaters and IMAX everywhere this Friday.
14:29Let's take a look.
14:30Why should a land have so much meaning
14:35when dark times befallen?
14:38It's only land made of dirt and rock and lawn.
14:46It's just a place that's familiar.
14:54And home's just what we call it.
15:01But there's no place like home.
15:06Please welcome back to our show the brilliant
15:08Cynthia Erivo, everyone.
15:16...
15:28Hello, dear friend. How are you?
15:40People are very happy to see you.
15:42This is the culmination.
15:43I mean, it's a culmination of a lot of great things,
15:45but it's been a very special year and it's been a while back now,
15:49but I just wanted to congratulate you on hosting the Tonys.
15:53And ask if it was as much fun to do as it was to watch.
15:55Yes, it was so much fun.
15:57That's great.
15:58That was the intention, to make sure that I and everyone else
16:01who was watching in the room and at home had a good time.
16:03Do you have a little bit more anxiety because you're so much
16:06within your community or do they just sort of lift you up
16:08and make it easier?
16:09They really lifted me up and I felt strangely really calm.
16:14I felt super, super zen.
16:15Are you? Has that always been you as a performer?
16:18I mean, your early, like, your Broadway,
16:20your first Broadway show, did you feel zen?
16:21Absolutely not.
16:22Okay, great.
16:23So it must be that when you can acknowledge that there's
16:26this new period of calm, that must be a very special thing.
16:28It's lovely.
16:29Yeah.
16:30I get nerves, but they dissipate quite quickly now.
16:33Yeah.
16:34It's lovely. Not that I don't,
16:35because I want there to be nerves.
16:36I feel the same way.
16:37You know, I need the initial nerves tells me I care.
16:39But it's nice that they sort of drift away now.
16:42Yeah. I always feel like within...
16:44If they're still there about five minutes on stage,
16:46I'm like, no, no, this isn't good now.
16:48Yeah.
16:48Let's go now.
16:49Yep.
16:50You, I feel like you have an appreciation for things,
16:52especially, you know, I've had a couple of members,
16:55Johnny and Jeff were here from your cast.
16:56There's been this three-year process.
16:58You all seem very close and you all seem to have,
17:00from the very beginning of this process,
17:02appreciated what it was.
17:04It's not like you're looking back on it now being like,
17:05oh, what a special journey.
17:06Like, you guys all knew every step of the way.
17:08We knew immediately that we were stepping into something
17:11that was quite special because it already has
17:12this beautiful legacy behind it.
17:14And we knew so many fans love it from the offset,
17:17and we wanted to make sure that we were doing it justice.
17:19You know, we had something special in our hands.
17:21And it seems like you all genuinely like each other.
17:23We do.
17:24Yeah. Or you're very good actors.
17:26No, we really like each other.
17:27So you're both. You're very good actors
17:28who also really like each other.
17:30We really like each other.
17:32Do you like when Halloween rolls around and you realize now
17:35that you're just going to be an iconic costume forever?
17:37It's delightful.
17:39But here's the thing.
17:40You talked about this show has had a legacy for a long time.
17:42So, you know, we actually don't know if they're dressing up
17:45as your version of the character, right?
17:47Right. Well, I know she is because she has the braids.
17:49Yeah, yeah, she has the braids.
17:50But this is the truly...
17:52This is one of the great costumes I saw this year.
17:54You're known. And, again, showed.
17:56You brought them today.
17:57Like, you're known for your...
18:00Kind of a nail work.
18:01So somebody was like, all right, look,
18:03a lot of people are going to dress up like Cynthia,
18:05but I'm going to go hyper-specific
18:06and dress up like one of her nails.
18:10Look at that guy.
18:12A-plus for Edward.
18:13A-plus. Had you seen it?
18:14Did somebody show it to you?
18:16I saw this 100 million times.
18:18This was sent to me so many times.
18:20So many times. But if there's anything,
18:22you probably want to look at 100 million times.
18:24It's this. It's this, for sure.
18:25My favorite thing, I will say, is it looks like it was done
18:29against their will.
18:30Yeah.
18:31There is a video of this wonderful person
18:34walking down the street as the nail.
18:37This is such commitment, I can't even...
18:39And I would imagine when you dress as Cynthia Erivo's nail,
18:42some people might not know what you are,
18:44but the people who know, probably, are so happy.
18:47Yes. There was such joy that day
18:51when people knew this was what was going on.
18:52I was elated.
18:54Yes, it's fantastic.
18:56Now, I want to ask, in the middle of everything
18:58that you've done this year, how, how, my friend,
19:01did you find time to write a book?
19:03On planes.
19:04Okay.
19:06In the seat of when I was doing my makeup,
19:09like, having my makeup done, like,
19:11looking downwards like that.
19:13It's very impressive that you took the time.
19:14I just was trying to claw the time from wherever I could.
19:16Yeah.
19:17Do you find, I mean, obviously, you've written songs,
19:19and you've done a lot of many creative endeavors.
19:22Did you find this harder or easier than that?
19:24Different. Yeah.
19:26Prose write, I like prose writing,
19:27and there's a little bit of poetry in there,
19:29but it sort of came naturally.
19:32Whenever I write a little caption on Instagram,
19:34they tend to be essays. I apologize.
19:36But that's kind of how I write.
19:39Yeah. Sort of off the dome.
19:41And when I do speeches, I write my own speeches.
19:43And so I just try my best to get what is on my heart
19:46out on the page, and that was just,
19:47this is just like an elongated Instagram post.
19:51Okay, that's right.
19:52But it's nice, because I feel like when you're looking
19:53at Instagram, you feel bad about yourself,
19:55but when you're reading a book...
19:56Then you can just enjoy. Relax.
19:58I get all my Instagrams now in book form.
20:00I have my assistant print them up
20:03and put them in a hardcover book.
20:04Just remember, you don't scroll.
20:05No scrolling. Page turning.
20:08I'm like, this book is broken.
20:09Why is it not working?
20:10The book is broken.
20:12Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is going to be another.
20:15Again, as this year goes on,
20:17yet one more iconic performance for you.
20:21You're opening the parade.
20:22I am. Do you know what you...
20:23Do you know already what you're singing?
20:24Yes.
20:25Are you telling people, or is it a secret?
20:27No. It's a very... It's a secret.
20:28Okay, gotcha.
20:30And, you know, you're in a situation,
20:32obviously, you've been talking a great deal.
20:34Yes. This is probably your last big
20:36vocal performance of the year.
20:37Is that a safe bet?
20:40I don't want to...
20:42Oh.
20:43It is to a degree.
20:45There's, like, one more performance after that
20:48that I have to do, and then I'm shutting it down for...
20:50Well, not for good.
20:51Yeah.
20:52Maybe for the rest of the year.
20:54For the rest of the year.
20:5525, as far as the last of you.
20:57Much to its regret.
20:58Yes, for sure. Yes.
20:59Have you ever... Have you been at that?
21:01You must have been at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
21:02I have. I was there last year.
21:04Yeah. We were just chatting.
21:05Yeah, great.
21:06So this is the... Are you going to be in a moving vehicle
21:09when you sing, or are you in one place?
21:11I hope I'm standing in one place.
21:12I have been moving around when I'm singing a lot lately.
21:16Uh-huh.
21:17I've been in the air when I've sung,
21:19so I think this would be nice to just be on the ground.
21:22Yeah.
21:24After experiencing all of it, would you say ground
21:26is still the best place to sing?
21:28You know, ground is one of the best places to sing.
21:30I love singing in the air, but I love the opportunity,
21:33when it's presented, to be feet on the ground.
21:36Yeah.
21:38Just so that no one, even you, take for granted
21:41exactly what a year this is,
21:42this is just stuff you have done this year.
21:45January, Oscar nomination.
21:47February, performed at the Grammys.
21:48March, performed at the Oscars.
21:49April, Coachella.
21:51Oh, my God.
21:52June, released an album, hosted the Tonys.
21:56July, Emmy nomination for Poker Face.
21:58August, played Jesus and Jesus Christ Superstar
22:01at the Hollywood Bowl.
22:06September, you had a bad September.
22:07We couldn't find anything.
22:08Bad.
22:09Nailed it in.
22:11Well, September, I was doing, like, a random...
22:15It's not random. Not random at all.
22:17A symphony orchestra tour across America.
22:19Thank God.
22:20Thank God. Because, I'll be honest, around the office,
22:22we were like, I think it's over for her.
22:23The symphony orchestra.
22:24All September, we were like, I haven't heard of her.
22:26I think it might be over now.
22:27And then November, nominated for two Grammys,
22:30and your book is published.
22:31And then today, you're with us.
22:32And Wicked for Good is coming out.
22:34And, you know, Johnny...
22:37Johnny was talking about how he got emotional watching it.
22:43Yeah.
22:44You, when we talked about the first movie,
22:46you talked about being emotional seeing it.
22:47Yeah.
22:48What were your emotions when you watched the second half of this?
22:51So, the first time I watched it, this happens every time.
22:55I watched the first movie, and I couldn't see anything.
22:58I was really overwhelmed.
22:59Then I watch it a second time,
23:00and then I can finally take it in.
23:03This time around, again, I was like, this is great.
23:06I love this.
23:07But I knew I wasn't taking it in properly.
23:09The second time I saw it, I wept.
23:12Like, fell to my knees and wept.
23:14Couldn't stop crying.
23:16That is unbelievable.
23:17It's both amazing that you're sharing that with us,
23:20and I see right through the fact
23:21that you're trying to trick everybody into seeing it twice.
23:26I'm on to you.
23:27I'm on to you, Cynthia.
23:29I'm on to you.
23:31Thank you for being back with us.
23:33Congratulations on the incredible year.
23:34You guys, this is Cynthia Eribe.
23:37Looking for good in theaters and IMAX everywhere this Friday.
23:41Simply more as well than that.
23:42I love you, by the book.
23:43We'll be right back and fix you.
23:57Our next guest is a very funny comedian.
23:59You know from his work on shows like Saturday Night Live,
24:01and I think you should leave,
24:02he's performing Sunday, November 23rd,
24:05at the Beacon Theater here in New York
24:06as part of his nationwide comedy tour.
24:08For tour info, go to brookswhelan.com.
24:10Please welcome back to the show my very good friend,
24:12Brooks Whelan, everybody!
24:21All right.
24:22That's very, very kind.
24:25Anyone else in here ever messed up so bad at your job
24:28that the business closed?
24:30No?
24:37I did, one time.
24:39I made a big whoopsie.
24:41I worked at this movie theater in Iowa when I was 16,
24:43and I found out the front display was broken for how much you owed
24:47if you came to a movie when I was working.
24:49You couldn't see how much you owed,
24:50and I realized I could charge you adult prices,
24:53but tell the computer system a child had come.
24:56So if you came to a movie when I was working,
24:58I would say, one, what?
24:59You were like, one for the movie.
25:00I'd say, absolutely, that's an adult, that's $7.
25:02I would take your $7, but I would tell the computer system
25:05a child had come.
25:06That was $4.
25:07I would take your seven, I'd give the computer four,
25:10and then I would simply keep three.
25:12This is what's called a victimless crime.
25:20This is fine.
25:21It's like burning a Waymo.
25:23It's good.
25:24It's funny.
25:27You owed seven.
25:29You paid seven.
25:29Computers don't need money.
25:33It is lucky I am giving it four.
25:36I am simply keeping three from every person who comes.
25:42I went from making minimum wage,
25:44which at the time was $5.15 an hour.
25:46I went from making $5.15 an hour
25:48to around $800 an hour.
25:53Yeah.
25:55It was a really good job.
25:57I took it very serious.
25:58I worked very hard at this job.
26:01And because I'm a cool guy,
26:02I told everyone I worked with about it.
26:07That's where I made the biggest mistake.
26:10Because once everyone in the movie theater
26:12starts playing this game,
26:13the game doesn't last very long.
26:16The game lasts four exhilarating weeks
26:21before this woman from corporate shows up
26:24out of nowhere.
26:27This witch shows up unannounced,
26:32and she just says,
26:33everybody in the back were having a meeting.
26:37And I'm stupid.
26:39I'm dumb.
26:40And I said, everybody?
26:42Because I'm new, and I just do the money.
26:47Like, do you need me in the meeting?
26:49Because I love this job.
26:50I really like working there.
26:51So...
26:53Because in my head, the meeting would have nothing to do
26:57with my embezzlement.
27:01But I was wrong.
27:04I would call that meeting embezzlement heavy.
27:10Top-to-bottom embezzlement talk.
27:12I found out about the word embezzlement.
27:18I learned pretty quick I had something to do with the meeting
27:20when the meeting began with this woman screaming
27:23at a bunch of teenagers.
27:25So you're telling me...
27:321,298 children.
27:44And zero adults.
27:48Zero.
27:50Curious number.
27:53Went to memoirs of a geisha.
28:00And me and my boys, we had brand new Oakleys on.
28:17Yeah, it was crazy, man.
28:19All the real little guys, they liked the novel better.
28:26They fired everybody, and they shut the movie theater down.
28:29My town lost a movie theater.
28:32But what I did find out that was pretty exciting is that
28:35if you're 16 and you embezzle, Seth, right here.
28:38Give me five.
28:40Give me five.
28:42You get to keep the money.
28:44USA.
28:45USA.
28:46USA.
28:47USA.
28:48It's a weird time to chant.
28:49Don't chant it.
28:50Don't fall into that trap.
28:53Not now.
28:55Do you ever forget you don't get along with your parents and you think, let's give them a call.
29:02Do you know what I mean?
29:03Once every six months, what are those two rascals up to?
29:08I bet it's fun.
29:09It's never fun.
29:11I'll call home.
29:13See what my parents are up to.
29:15My dad answers.
29:16Hey, Dad, what's up?
29:17And he's like, it's terrible.
29:18Why?
29:19What's terrible?
29:20There's a transgendered person swimming.
29:23What?
29:24That's good, right?
29:25No, that's not good.
29:27How is that not good?
29:28They're taking medals and they're taking medals.
29:30They're taking medals and they're taking medals and they're taking medals.
29:33That's not good.
29:35How is that not good?
29:37They're taking medals from girls.
29:40And I'm like, oh, you know what, Dad?
29:43I totally forgot.
29:44I forgot.
29:45You love NCAA women's swimming.
29:52I forgot about that.
29:54You always have.
29:56You've always been a huge fan of the sanctity of NCAA women's swimming.
30:01I remember we would race home after church.
30:05So you could watch NCAA women's swimming events.
30:08I'm so sorry this story is personally happening to you.
30:11A 68-year-old dude in Iowa.
30:16You want to throw a mom on?
30:17Hope my mom has something fun.
30:18My mom, every time she grabs the phone, she's just like,
30:20A woman you never met died!
30:22Rock and roll!
30:31Some of you might be like, hey, my parents are perfect.
30:37Well, that's why you're watching on TV and I'm dancing for money, man.
30:40My mom told me recently, without any irony, she said, I love Donald Trump.
30:51I do.
30:52I just...
30:54I wish he didn't talk.
30:57I was like, mom, don't worry, I totally get it.
31:05Because that's how I feel about you right now.
31:08What?
31:10All right, we can end with dunking on my mom.
31:14Thank you very much.
31:16Brooks Whelan, everybody!
31:21He'll be here when we get back.
31:23Stick around.
31:37Welcome back. We're here with Brooks Whelan.
31:39Buddy, that was a great set, and I love, I love...
31:42When you reached out and said you wanted to do stand-up,
31:43it was like an immediate yes.
31:45I'm so happy, but it turns out you had a bit...
31:47I don't care about that.
31:48Yeah.
31:49You had an ulterior motive.
31:50I don't care about that stand-up set.
31:51That was just a way to get on your show to talk about some allegations
31:56that have been levied against me in Spider League.
31:58Okay.
31:59So, now, not everybody right away is going to know about...
32:02They do.
32:03Do you know about Spider League?
32:05Some people.
32:06That's everybody.
32:07That's everybody.
32:08So, for those who might be a little bit behind on Spider League
32:10and your role in it...
32:11They're not.
32:13Okay, but who is involved, and what are the current allegations?
32:16Okay.
32:17So, Spider League is a game I play with some of my friends,
32:20Tim Robinson, Zach Cannon.
32:21Yep.
32:22And they were both recently on the show.
32:23They were both on the show.
32:24And besmirching your integrity a little bit.
32:26Yeah, yeah.
32:27They were coming at me pretty hard with some allegations.
32:28But first, how does Spider League work again?
32:30So, what we do is it's a game where we take photos of spiders
32:34that we see.
32:35Yeah.
32:36We run them through an app to see what type of spider it is,
32:38and then we share them with each other to see who has the most
32:41powerful spider.
32:42Gotcha.
32:43It's really fun.
32:46Yeah.
32:47But Tim Robinson and Zach Cannon have let power go to their heads.
32:52Okay.
32:53And they're continuously suspending me.
32:55Yeah.
32:56For reasons I don't think are necessary.
32:58Yeah.
32:59Now, there's only eight people in Spider League.
33:00Is that right?
33:01Six.
33:02Gotcha.
33:03So, there's six people in Spider League.
33:05Yep.
33:06Tim and Zach are a third of the league.
33:07And basically, they're the commissioners?
33:09They've decided that.
33:10No one decided that.
33:12They've decided it.
33:13They're bullies.
33:14So, here's my problem with Spider League right now.
33:18Tim and Zach...
33:19Not that it's dense and hard to understand?
33:21It's so easy to understand.
33:22Gotcha.
33:23Yeah.
33:24You take photos of spiders.
33:25It's not bugs.
33:26Arachnids.
33:27You're gonna get in trouble for saying bugs.
33:28Ugh!
33:29You're gonna get in so much trouble for saying bugs.
33:31No, no, no, no.
33:32This is not suspension stuff.
33:34Uh...
33:35We're nice to each other, but...
33:37No, it's just, like, Tim and Zach and John Solomon
33:40are three or half of Spider League.
33:41They all work on The Chair Company together.
33:43Yep. Wonderful show on HBO.
33:44Great show.
33:45So, they all are together all the time.
33:49And then, so, they run Spider League just from the top.
33:53Like, I'm here to talk about the little guys
33:55that are involved in Spider League.
33:57They're sort of the other three.
33:58Yeah, they're big Spider League.
34:00All right.
34:01I'm little Spider.
34:02I'm here for the little guys.
34:03You should root for me.
34:04Okay.
34:05So, um, one of your buddies, this is the issue, right?
34:08Yep.
34:09He posted a photo.
34:10The app told him it was a hackle mesh weaver.
34:12This is why I'm currently suspended and I disagree.
34:14Okay. So, hackle mesh weaver.
34:16Hackle mesh weaver.
34:17He then said, pretty regular spider.
34:19It was just chillin' in my tub.
34:20Yeah.
34:21It's a hackle mesh weaver.
34:22And then you said...
34:23I said, uh, and I understand this isn't perfect,
34:26but I don't think it's suspension-worthy.
34:27I said, uh, first Jewish spider, pretty rad.
34:30Yeah.
34:31Hackle mesh sounded Jewish to me.
34:33Yeah, it does.
34:34And, you know, you've never heard of a Jewish spider.
34:35And you did say it was pretty rad.
34:36I said, it's good.
34:37I said, this is good stuff.
34:38And immediately, Tim said, our first suspension
34:41for racism, folks.
34:42Yeah.
34:43And...
34:44And they say, yeah.
34:45Yeah.
34:46And, by the way, obviously, like, they're all ha-ha.
34:49They can't ha-ha bubble fast enough.
34:51That was...
34:52Bully, bully, bully, bully, bully.
34:54So, then they...
34:56What were the steps they took?
34:57So, then they said I needed to take a diversity class.
35:01And I really didn't think I needed to.
35:04Yeah.
35:05They started a GoFundMe.
35:07So, I said...
35:08Because diversity classes do cost money, I found out.
35:10And they started a GoFundMe to give me $25
35:15so I could take a diversity class.
35:18Yeah, this is help Brooks Whelan make things right.
35:24So, it's not a very expensive diversity class
35:26if it's only $25.
35:27No, but I don't need that, like, on the Internet.
35:29Yeah.
35:30Make it sound like I'm a bad guy.
35:32Yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:33Well, I think, right, if you heard that you had
35:34to take diversity training, you'd be very surprised
35:36if you found out it was about your, you know,
35:38pretty harmless joke about the Hacklemesh Weaver.
35:41I did try to have a rebuttal where...
35:43Because I typed in Hacklemesh Jewish name.
35:46Yeah. Nothing.
35:47Okay.
35:48So, it turns out it's not even...
35:49Just a spider. So, I was wrong.
35:50Yeah, gotcha.
35:51Yeah.
35:52It was low-key racist.
35:54Yeah, look.
35:55Low-key racist.
35:56Yeah.
35:57And so, then it turned out they took your punishment
36:00to an outside...
36:01Yeah.
36:02What was it? Outside panel.
36:03So, they have created an outside panel
36:06in our Spider League of six people.
36:08Yeah.
36:09And they won't tell me who's in it.
36:11Yeah.
36:12And it's really upsetting.
36:14Yeah.
36:15So, here's the back and forth.
36:16Tim said,
36:17Brooke's punishment is officially under review
36:19by the outside panel.
36:20Mm-hmm.
36:21You wrote, wait, what?
36:22Who's the outside panel?
36:24And it's for being excited about spider diversity?
36:27Yes.
36:28So, now you're claiming your excitement was pro-diversity.
36:30Uh, yeah, I got...
36:31You know, I'm pivoting to it.
36:32Yeah.
36:33Uh, then your friend said,
36:35Yes, unfortunately, panel has requested anonymity.
36:38Mm-hmm.
36:39To avoid persuasion.
36:40They were afraid you were gonna try to persuade the panel.
36:43The panel is them.
36:44And...
36:46They're running wild with Spider League.
36:49I came in to have a little bit of fun.
36:51And then when Tim comes on here,
36:53he only tells his side of the story.
36:54Yeah.
36:55He's the Fox News of Spider League.
36:56Yeah.
36:57Look at it.
36:58And he's right.
36:59And he's out here saying he's fair and balanced.
37:00Yeah, he's not fair.
37:01He's not balanced.
37:02It's just his opinion.
37:03This is what really hurt me is, uh, basically,
37:05the next thing after they said the panel's anonymous
37:08is somebody, a week later, somebody writes,
37:09Happy birthday, Brooks.
37:10Yeah.
37:11And then our friend John Solomon,
37:12who I would have said is a good person, wrote,
37:14Brooks, happy birthday.
37:15Not sure how the outside panel will come down
37:18in your suspension, but just enjoy yourself today.
37:20Yeah.
37:21They make you worried.
37:23They make you worried.
37:24They keep you on your toes, yeah.
37:26But, yeah, I just wanted to come on and be like,
37:29I'm not a bad guy.
37:31Then you also got pitched somebody who did not ask about it.
37:35You did not go out searching for this.
37:37Someone reached out to you.
37:38They saw Spider League being discussed,
37:40and they had a pitch deck,
37:42which is basically the way you sell a TV show.
37:44Yeah.
37:45I was reached out to to make Spider League a real television show.
37:48Gotcha.
37:49And they reached out to me, and they said,
37:51Would you want to make Spider League a real TV show?
37:53And I said, Spider League is going to be really mad about this.
37:57Yeah.
37:58Because you're sort of making yourself the face of Spider League.
38:00But I didn't even do it.
38:01I know.
38:02But I think if they voted,
38:03I mean, based on everything we've heard so far,
38:04Spider League does not want you to be the face of Spider League.
38:06No.
38:07No.
38:08No, they're mad that I have fun with it.
38:09Yeah.
38:10So I took it.
38:11I just showed Spider League.
38:13I was like, hey, guys.
38:14Somebody wanted to make a show.
38:15Oh, you made the mistake of sharing.
38:16I didn't make the mistake.
38:17I'm full transparency.
38:18I showed them, hey.
38:19But I've seen this.
38:20It's like your face.
38:21It's a lot of pictures of your face holding a spider.
38:23It does say Spider League starring Brooks Whelan.
38:25Yeah.
38:26And Spider League outside panel was not into that.
38:29Yeah.
38:30And was there maybe a follow-up suspension
38:32when this first suspension is over
38:34that you're going to get suspended again
38:35for the Spider League TV show?
38:36Spider League's loose right now.
38:37I don't know, man.
38:38Yeah.
38:39Do you ever think, Brooks,
38:40and, you know, I want you to, you know,
38:41really think about this.
38:42Do you ever think about walking away from Spider League?
38:44I love it so much.
38:49I mean, I threw my...
38:51Do you think...
38:52I really threw my parents under the bus
38:53doing stand-up just so I could come on
38:55and talk about Spider League.
38:56That's true.
38:57Yeah, you did.
38:58Like, I ruined Christmas to come on your show.
39:00Yeah.
39:01Because my...
39:02I didn't...
39:03I didn't...
39:04I ran those jokes past my dad, and he said,
39:06do what you need to do to make money.
39:08Yeah.
39:09But so he's going to be real disappointed
39:11when it turns out you did what you had to do
39:13to talk about Spider League.
39:15Yeah, no, I don't think he sees dollars in this.
39:18Well, I don't think anybody sees dollars in this, Brooks.
39:20There's dollars!
39:21I was offered a TV show.
39:23That was a green light on HBO.
39:25It was not a green light.
39:26It was a green light on HBO.
39:28I'm going to see you Sunday night.
39:29We're doing a show at the Beacon Theatre.
39:30Yeah.
39:31Once a month, me and Seth and John Oliver,
39:33three equally famous people, are at the Beacon Theatre.
39:37We do equal time, and we roll dice to see who goes first
39:42and who goes last.
39:44What are we, 24 in a row?
39:46Yes, the dice might be loaded.
39:48Yeah.
39:49I've gone first 24 times in a row.
39:53You guys, this is my dear friend Brooks Whelan.
39:55Thank you so much.
39:56Brooks Whelan, around Alaska.
39:57Available on YouTube.
39:58For tour info, go to BrooksWhelan.com.
40:07Come join the audience at Late Night Live in Studio 8G.
40:12For tickets, head over to LateNightSethTickets.com.
40:15Follow us at Late Night Seth on all social media platforms.
40:18Subscribe to Late Night Seth on YouTube.
40:20Find us online at LateNightSeth.com.
40:23And subscribe to the Late Night Podcast,
40:25featuring a closer look, guest interviews, and more.
40:28Available wherever you listen to podcasts.
40:36Thanks for watching.
40:37We love you, everybody.
41:00Bye.
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