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Terra.Anatolia
  • 2 days ago
Transcript
00:00And we learn the rules of a new fight club.
00:0322 minutes starts now.
00:19Attention passengers, our Canada flight 141 to Calgary
00:23is delayed three hours because we feel like it.
00:27Occupy yourselves, peasants.
00:30What am I going to do for three hours?
00:36Whoa.
00:38What's that?
00:40That's the Maple Leaf Lounge.
00:42It's for people in business class and men with strong chins.
00:45We are surrounded by free yogurt.
00:48This is the dream!
00:50I want to be surrounded by free yogurt?
00:52Look away from the upper middle class!
00:56How do I get in there?
00:57Let me see your boarding pass.
01:00Give a seat by the toilet, sir.
01:03You're a toilet boy.
01:04I'm not a toilet boy.
01:06I just checked in late.
01:08I have a strong chin.
01:09Let's see it in profile.
01:10You're not going to like it.
01:12A toilet chin for a toilet boy.
01:16What?
01:17Sit with your kind.
01:19This one's for drinking and this one's just for gargling.
01:23Oh!
01:24Oh my gosh!
01:25Everyone gather round!
01:26They're refreshing the deli tray!
01:27I want a refreshed deli tray.
01:29Silence!
01:30You'll wait for your sky crumbs.
01:33Would passenger Snodgrass please approach the desk?
01:36I am he.
01:37Here is your boarding pass.
01:39We've upgraded you to business class and you can enter the lounge.
01:42Hot dog!
01:43And did I miss the orgy?
01:45It's just starting.
01:49Welcome, orgy friend!
01:51As I was just saying, we can actually just use the olive oil from the salad bar.
01:55Wipe the drool from your weak chin, toilet boy.
02:01Would passenger Anderson please approach the desk?
02:04That's, um, that's me.
02:07I have a seat change.
02:08Yes.
02:09An upgrade?
02:10Downgrade.
02:11To the actual toilet.
02:14That is flying to Canada.
02:22Welcome to the show.
02:23The Prime Minister attended the Grey Cup on the weekend, and it's clear CFL fans don't
02:27like how Kearney handles our money.
02:29Mr. Prime Minister, would you do us the honor?
02:32Tails has been called.
02:37Poor Kearney.
02:38This kind of thing would never happen at the regatta.
02:42Yesterday, the Liberals' fall budget survived a vote in the House of Commons
02:45after they united the House over the one issue that matters,
02:48not having another election.
02:50Now that his budget has passed, there's nothing stopping Kearney from completing his proposed
02:55nation-building projects.
02:57Referring to the MPO, the Major Projects Office, is not, does not mean the project is approved.
03:03It means that all the efforts are being put in place from the federal government
03:08in order to create the conditions so it could move forward.
03:11You heard him, Canada.
03:13Maybe.
03:17I'm gonna start talking like a Kearney press conference.
03:19I'm not doing my laundry, but all efforts are being put in place to create the conditions
03:24that it could be laundered.
03:26The most controversial project is a liquid natural gas terminal in B.C.
03:32The government claims it's in partnership with a local First Nation,
03:35but a deeper dive shows the biggest stakeholder is an American company backed by Trump donors.
03:41Well, when Kearney said he was going to nation-build, he didn't say which nation.
03:47Environmentalists see the project as Canada backtracking on climate goals.
03:51But Prime Minister Planet hasn't forgotten the environment.
03:55So our government is launching a transformational strategy to develop that clean energy
04:01through something we just introduced in the budget called the productivity super deduction.
04:05So we might miss our climate targets for now, but hang in there, polar bears.
04:10Your productivity super deduction is on the way.
04:15The Prime Minister's list of nation-building projects is changing and evolving.
04:19One thing's for sure, whoever booed him in Winnipeg, no project for you!
04:26This week, Pierre Polyev took time off house hunting in Battle River Crowfoot
04:31to share his concerns about the Prime Minister's nation-building projects.
04:35Instead of getting things done, Mark Kearney was standing up doing photo ops,
04:40announcing that he's going to approve a bunch of projects that were already going to happen.
04:46These photo ops have to stop, he said to the assembled media.
04:52Do as I say, not as I'm doing right now.
04:56But journalists were more interested in reports that Pierre's party is rife with bullying and intimidation.
05:02He said that your party is being run like a frat house.
05:04So I'm just curious what you think he means by that.
05:08Well, I think that CBC had to be...
05:11Are you with CBC, by the way?
05:12Do you believe that he was telling the truth when he said that?
05:15Do you agree with Mr. Dontrema that Mark Kearney's food price inflation is inhumane?
05:20So again, I asked you if...
05:22Okay.
05:24Why are you answering in questions?
05:26This isn't Jeopardy!
05:28Could we just get one clear answer out of you?
05:31Have you maybe reflected on your leadership style moving forward?
05:36No.
05:39He didn't even reflect on the question.
05:42And we have a couple more.
05:43Do you remember the name of your new writing?
05:46No.
05:48Do Canadians like you?
05:51No.
05:53Not so fun being bullied, is it Pierre?
05:56No.
05:58Maybe someday Pierre will change his leadership style, but until that time, butthead says no?
06:04No.
06:07Thank you for coming.
06:09Your organization is struggling with leadership and you're feeling a loss of trust.
06:13Sorry, do I need to be here?
06:15Yes, Pierre.
06:17You're the leader of the Conservative Party.
06:19And a lot of people are saying you're a bully.
06:21Which one of you losers said that?
06:22Was it you?
06:23What are you saying?
06:24No, sir.
06:25You said I'm a bully?
06:26No, no, no, sir.
06:27I'm one of the few Conservatives who still trusts you.
06:28See?
06:29We can work with this.
06:30He still trusts you.
06:32Now show everyone else they can too.
06:34Yes.
06:35Yes.
06:36Finally, some action.
06:37I'm a tactile learner.
06:38I learn through touch.
06:40Great.
06:41So Pierre, this is a trust fault.
06:42Mm-hmm.
06:43This man will fall back.
06:44I'm sorry, what is your name?
06:45Oh, that doesn't matter.
06:46Don't ask that.
06:47Doesn't matter.
06:48Okay.
06:49Um, close your eyes, fall backward and Pierre will catch you.
06:52Okay.
06:54Pierre Polyev, I trust you.
07:00Oh, I'm sorry.
07:01Was I supposed to catch him?
07:02Yes.
07:03Well, the instructions weren't very clear.
07:05It's okay.
07:06I've got more to thank.
07:07All right.
07:08Absolutely.
07:09Right.
07:10Gotcha.
07:11Here we go.
07:13Okay.
07:14It's just that I've never caught a man before.
07:16We'll get there.
07:17Yeah.
07:18All right.
07:19Okay.
07:20So to be clear, you are catching him.
07:21Okay.
07:22Got it.
07:23Got it.
07:24Got it.
07:25Maybe I can get some gloves then, because I don't want to get calluses on my fingers.
07:29You fell too fast.
07:30I can fall slower.
07:31I see that you do.
07:32Just catch your coworker.
07:33Okay.
07:34Complete trust.
07:36Oh, I got it.
07:37I thought he was coming in to kiss me.
07:38He was backwards.
07:39Wow, that's how I do it.
07:40Pierre, do you not see that your actions are causing your team to lose trust?
07:45Well, let's see.
07:46Okay.
07:47Well, that was on him.
07:48This is a lost cause.
07:49You should go.
07:50Really?
07:51Is that what you all want?
07:52Yes.
07:53All right.
07:54I'll go.
07:55But I hope when you look back on this time, you realize I did inspire you.
08:12Oh, captain, my captain.
08:17Oh, okay, everyone, let's settle down.
08:24They love me.
08:25Pierre!
08:26Pierre!
08:27Yeah, they love me.
08:28They love me.
08:29Oh!
08:30Oh, my God.
08:31I'm sorry.
08:32I was daydreaming it was Dead Poets Society, and I had inspired you all.
08:35Is he going to be okay?
08:36He's not really moving.
08:38Did anybody get his name?
08:42Canada Post has submitted its overhaul plan to the federal government.
08:46And they sent it priority, so it should arrive about a week after Christmas.
08:51This week, Toronto Blue Jays pitcher Trey Yesavage proposed to his girlfriend.
08:56And just as things were going well, John Schneider came and pulled him.
09:01This week in Hamilton, Ontario, a man stole a city bus, which in Hamilton is called Wednesday.
09:09The real shocker is what happened next.
09:12This man, according to police, essentially impersonated a bus driver to the point of stopping at every stop on this route.
09:21He even denied entry to someone onto said bus because their pass had expired.
09:27The man was later charged with making other bus drivers look bad, and upon release was sentenced to a full-time job.
09:36According to officials, the horrible smell wafting through parts of Edmonton is coming from a nearby garbage dump fire.
09:54It's called Red Deer.
10:00This week, Halifax beachgoers discovered syringes and vials labeled testosterone had washed up on a local beach,
10:07which explains why local seagulls look like this.
10:13Nice.
10:14Hey guys, it's Liv. I'm gonna be a little bit late.
10:16Just start without me, and then you can catch me up to speed when I get there, okay?
10:22Oh, jeez.
10:23Hey, everyone. Sorry I'm late.
10:24My God, Liv. You're alive.
10:26What are you guys talking about? I sent you a voice note.
10:28We heard it. That's why I phoned the ambulance.
10:30What? Why?
10:31Guys. Guys.
10:35I'm already late.
10:36I'll be there late.
10:38I'll be there late.
10:39Five minutes.
10:40Sorry.
10:41Okay, so I was a little close to the mic. It's not a big deal.
10:46There's way more.
10:54I swear when I recorded this, it sounded normal.
10:56These are the normal parts.
10:57I need some water.
11:07Voice notes are really hard to do.
11:09What happened to you out there?
11:10Dropped it. God damn it. Dropped it for me.
11:13Didn't you say you dropped your phone?
11:14No, I said I'd be five minutes late and start without me.
11:17Why is it making this such a big deal?
11:19What about the part where you got all quiet?
11:21Yeah, I was falling.
11:29It sounded like you were falling for like 30 seconds straight.
11:32Oh my God, Neil. You're like obsessed with me.
11:35You're worried.
11:36Why are we so hung up on the falling part?
11:38Because you were falling for so long.
11:44Hey, can I use your bathroom?
11:46Want to buy something?
11:48Oh my God.
11:49Can we just start the meeting?
11:51I'm already like five minutes late.
11:52You've been missing for hours.
11:54Neil, you're all over me.
11:57Oh my gosh.
11:58Did you guys get my voice out or what?
11:59We did, yeah.
12:01Hey guys, I'm running late.
12:02I'll be there soon.
12:06Oh my God.
12:07Cheryl, you sound insane.
12:09Back off the mic.
12:14This November marks 50 years since the Edmund Fitzgerald went down
12:17in a storm on Lake Superior.
12:19Memes about the wreck are flooding social media,
12:21leaving us to wonder what would Gordon Lightfoot think?
12:24There's a whole subset of the internet.
12:26Just seeing and receiving a lot of Edmund Fitzgerald memes.
12:30Men don't want to go to the club.
12:32They just want to think about the Edmund Fitzgerald.
12:34The legend lives on from the gourd like foot song of the big ship that met us at ending.
12:44It lives on indeed when I scroll through my feed, I see that it's suddenly trending.
12:53Makes no sense to me how the likes of Gen Z got obsessed with a ship so imperiled.
13:01But now my tick-tock, it is chock-a-block with the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.
13:11The ship is renowned for the 29th round in the waves of that great inland ocean.
13:18I never once dreamed that the scene would be a mean, asking do men even have emotions.
13:26What became of them all in the heart of the squall is the difference between dying and living.
13:34A season's now called Edmund Fitzgerald Fall between Halloween and Thanksgiving.
13:41A man dressed as a boat just to try and promote his tick-tock.
13:50Man, what is wrong with him?
13:53You know it's plain wrong to defile a folk song just to try and please the algorithm.
14:00And oh, what shame, there's a new drinking game, one beverage for each sailor missing.
14:09That's 29 beers with each one, they shout cheers, then spend the whole evening pissing.
14:16You fill my vibe check, if you dear mock the wreck, it is choogy brought you ur-da-loo-loo.
14:25So do what you will, but please have some chill, for the Edmund Fitzgerald and her crew.
14:33This week, Nova Scotia sent its annual Christmas tree to Boston.
14:51Early reports say it has already been detained by ICE.
14:54On a recent podcast appearance, Wayne Gretzky addressed the criticism he received for being anti-Canadian, stating,
15:03I'm just a hockey player.
15:05Wayne, you're more than just a hockey player.
15:08You're also a traitor.
15:13This week, the CBC reported on a secretive white supremacist conference in Vancouver
15:17attended by local MMA coaches and gym owners.
15:20And it raised some troubling questions.
15:23What is this overlap between white supremacy and essentially MMA culture?
15:28Uh, they like the same podcasts?
15:33The investigation highlights the rise of far-right organizations in Canada,
15:37and it seems like they're training for something.
15:39If you've never heard of an active club, it might seem harmless.
15:42Who doesn't want to be active, right?
15:44In reality, they recruit white people to tribe and train.
15:48Basically, they're fascist fight clubs.
15:50Nazis and bad at boxing?
15:53Men and their hobbies.
15:55The owners of these gyms were shocked to be discovered,
15:59but we think we know how word got out.
16:01Gentlemen, welcome to secret Nazi fight club.
16:08The first rule of secret Nazi fight club is really, really, really, really do not talk about secret Nazi fight club.
16:16Rule number two of secret Nazi fight club.
16:19Seriously, do not talk about secret Nazi fight club.
16:22Like, we will get in so much trouble.
16:25Like, way more than regular fight club.
16:27Okay?
16:28Rule number three, no outside footwear.
16:30Rule number four, no posting on social media.
16:34Well, what about Twitter?
16:35Twitter is fine.
16:36Any questions so far?
16:38Can I tell my best friend?
16:40Definitely not.
16:41But he asked what I'm doing tonight.
16:43Just tell him you're going out.
16:44Well, he kind of likes to hang.
16:46Okay, well, just tell him that you're doing something that he wouldn't want to do.
16:50Oh, like going to secret Nazi fight club?
16:52Sure, yeah, exactly.
16:53No, no, no, no, not that, not that, no.
16:55Don't talk about secret Nazi fight club, okay?
16:57Guys, the rules are clear.
16:58Geez, you think secret Nazi fight club would be a bit more chill?
17:02Rule number five, there, there, there.
17:06Know the difference.
17:08We're grammar Nazis as well.
17:10Rule number six, no little, uh, Hitler stashions.
17:14Can't have 20 people rolling up to the gym with little Hitler stashions.
17:19What about, like, Charlie Chaplin style?
17:21No one's gonna think it's Charlie Chaplin style.
17:24My best friend would.
17:25No one cares about your best friend!
17:27Hey, is this box fit?
17:29No, this is secret Nazi fight club.
17:32Well, ah, damn it, it's, uh, not that.
17:34It's, um, regular, not Nazi fight club.
17:40Oh, cool, can I join?
17:42Mmm, no.
17:47This would never happen at box fit.
17:52All right, guys, I don't think we have much time.
17:54But my friend's on his way!
17:55Great, all right.
17:56Final rule, if it's your first night, you have to fight.
17:59You, let's go.
18:02Nazi style.
18:03Ouch!
18:04Ouch!
18:05Ouch!
18:06Ouch!
18:07Ouch!
18:08Seriously?
18:09A brain scan done on sports fans showed that watching your team score activates the same response as sex, which is why every time my team scores, I say sorry and call them an Uber.
18:32A brain scan done on sports fans showed that watching your team score activates the same response as sex, which ruins every memory I have of watching hockey with my dad.
18:47After 40 days of shutdown, the American government was up and running this week and got back to serving the people by releasing thousands of emails from Jeffrey Epstein.
19:02Many prominent figures are mentioned in the emails and also some lesser known ones, like Donald Trump, who is mentioned literally thousands of times, including when Epstein called him borderline insane and evil beyond belief.
19:18Man, with pedophile friends like that, who needs pedophile enemies?
19:23The White House claimed Democrats selectively leaked these emails. The Democrats say some emails don't call Trump a sex criminal and they're happy to turn all of them over. All four of them.
19:39On Sunday night, the president reversed course telling Republicans to release all the files and claiming he had nothing more to hide. Anymore. He had nothing more. It's, it's all out there.
19:50Yeah.
19:51A congressional oversight committee has released Jeffrey Epstein's 50th birthday book. It contains signatures from Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, and 22 Minutes cast member Abba Amaquando.
20:04Abba, you signed Jeffrey Epstein's birthday book? It was going around the room. Everyone was signing it.
20:09Who is everyone?
20:10Everyone on the island.
20:11You were on the island?
20:12It was a layover.
20:14Abba, the man was a monster.
20:16I know, but it was his birthday.
20:19He was evil.
20:21Don't worry, it was just a little signature.
20:23Ms. Amaquando left one of the largest signatures.
20:26You did the same as Trump?
20:28Technically, Trump did the same one as me. I got in there first.
20:31Abba, this could not be worse for you.
20:34What? I signed every birthday card with the silhouette of a woman's body and a classic quote like, enigmas never age.
20:40Abba, you're gonna get in so much trouble for this.
20:42Okay, let's be real, no one in that book is gonna get in any trouble for any of this.
20:47Well, way to go Abba, cause not only did you drag your name and reputation through the mud, but ours as well.
20:52Up next, why was Stacy McGonigal at a ditty party?
20:55Okay, well, you try not freaking off while everyone's freaking off.
21:04That's the way we saw the world this week.
21:06To all the MPs who voted to support the budget, thanks for not triggering an election.
21:10We're gonna be so broke!
21:12Goodnight!
21:13Goodnight!
21:14Goodnight!
21:15Goodnight!
21:16Goodnight!
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